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/Kinder/ - DadAnon Prologue - The Dad is In [COMPLETE]
By Eccentric_AnonCreated: 2021-08-20 08:51:08
Updated: 2021-09-26 10:01:50
Expiry: Never
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1.
>Be Anon, naturally.
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2.
>You've been stuck in this strange world for some time now.
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3.
>It took a lot of getting used to, especially when the natives are so...childish...
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4.
>You're currently walking to your stall at the Ponyville Market as you think about how you got to this point.
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5.
>After a while of giving ponies some advice on common sense (something they seem to lack) they've all collectively decided that you're the town dad
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>They expect you to be a father figure, and all that that role entails:
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>Some need advice, others may need a hug if they're having a bad day, and others still may need a "boo-boo" kissed to make it better
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>You still don't know how kisses cure minor injuries here, but they do! You've long stopped questioning such things, and just attribute it to "magic"
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>Eventually though, you remembered an old comic strip and cartoon with something like a lemonade stand, but for advice.
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>That's when you decided to set up a stand where ponies come to you for various father-related needs, as the market is one of the most frequented spots in town.
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>Snapping partially out of your self-exposition, you realize that you made it to the stall.
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>It's early morning, and most ponies are just now getting up to start the day with their overly-sugary breakfasts.
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>You like to get settled in nice and early before the inevitable line starts
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>Taking a sip of the black coffee you bring with you each morning, you open the stall and put up your sign
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>'The Dad is In'
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>Soon after, you notice Roseluck making her way over from her and her friends' flower stall
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>"D-dad, I need your help!"
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>She asked as she looks at you with a sad but expecting look
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"How can I help you Roseluck?"
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>"Well...It's about Lily...See, this morning the three of us were having our morning bowls of Frosted CelestiOs, when the toy that comes in the box fell into her bowl!
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>"I asked if I could have a turn with it, seeing as it's our box, but she won't SHARE! She just keeps hogging it to herself!"
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>"She won't let Daisy play either! Can you make her share it with us?"
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>Thinking about it a bit, you respond:
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"Well, I can't MAKE Lily share it...However, I've been in Equestria long enough to know that having a heart-to-heart conversation with somepony usually works. Try telling her how it makes you feel that she's not sharing with you or Daisy.
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>"Thanks daddy, I'll try!"
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*CLINK*
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>You hear the familiar noise of bits being put onto the stall's table as you see Roseluck trot off
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>You never actually charged ponies for any of this, however they'll usually tip anyway
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>Some give you bits, others, like Pinkie Pie or Applejack will give you food
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>You've tried telling them in the past that they don't need to do this, but they just tell you that they're gonna take care of their dad after all!
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>As you wait for more poners to start the day, you think over Rose's 'situation' some more
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>It amazed you how important toys are to ponies, even adults!
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>You suppose with little vidya and no television around, they had to rot their brains another way.
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>You chuckle as you remember the time you went to an 'Adult Toy Shop'
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>Feeling it was out of place for such a G-rated society, you checked it out
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>You were a bit more disappointed than you'd like to admit that the shop really was for toys, just ones that were more sophisticated, higher quality and of course, higher priced.
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>Looking out from your stall, you see more and more ponies taking to the streets, looks like it's time to start the day for real...
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38.
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>"DAAAAAAAAA-HAHADYYYYYYYYYYYY!!"
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>Ah yes, the familiar sound of a crying pony; most likely with a boo-boo.
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>Infact, you recognize the voice as belonging to the local fashionista, Rarity.
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>Ponies gasp as she runs up and they stand aside, one of the rules of your stand being that boo-boos get top priority.
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>"Daddy! I-I was sewing up this fabulous new dress see, and-and I was sewing it together, and then...THEN THE NEEDLE GAVE ME A BOO-BOOOOOOOO!! WAAAAAAAAAAH!"
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"Can you show me where it hurts Rarity?
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>You gesture the crying clothier to show you her hoof, and she does so.
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>Yep, she poked herself with a needle; There's a bit of blood on her fur too.
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>You take out a handkerchief that you keep on you just for such a situation, and dab it on your tongue to wetten it.
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>Then, you wipe the blood off of her wound and plant a kiss onto it.
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>After you retract your lips, you watch as the wound closes itself and fully heals.
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"Are you feeling better Rarity?"
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>*sniff* Yes, thank you daddy! You're the best!"
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>You give Rarity a tight hug for added comfort, and watch as she gallops back to her boutique. However, not before...
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>*clink*
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>Yep, a tip. She's always generous with her tips. You suppose that's natural since she's the 'Element of Generosity'
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>Tips weren't why you did it though, over time you grew to see the citizens of Ponyville as your extended family
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>They obviously love you as if you really were their father, and you began to love them as if they were your own family
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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>A few more advice givings later, you're closing up the stand for your break
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"No Derpy, you shouldn't put the toaster in Dinky's bathtub to speed up her school morning, that's dangerous."
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"No Pinkie, you shouldn't start a movement to replace Bits as currency with cupcakes, cupcakes go bad"
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"No Applebloom, you and your friends shouldn't try to get cutie marks for staring at the sun, that'll hurt your eyes"
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>With the last pony given common sense, you change the sign on your stand
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>'The Dad is Out'
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>Now, to head to 'Rich's Barnyard Bargains'
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>Ponyville market is good and all, but doesn't carry some of the things you need beyond things like produce
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>Fumbling around in your pockets, you retrieve your shopping list
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>Cereal, milk, bread, and checking up with Filthy to see if he got any of your coffee in
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>Have to get it special ordered because you learned the hard way that ponies have their coffee enchanted to be sweetened instead of the black bitterness you love.
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>Arriving at the store, you grab your basket and head to the cereal isle
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"Frosted CelestiOs, yuck"
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>So sugary you couldn't even eat it, even with your sweet tooth!
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>You ended up having to give the box to Pinkie
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>And boy did you regret it immediately after you did, as you watched her take the bag out, and chug every piece of cereal right in front of you
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>Somehow ponies love this level of sugar, it's why it's the most popular of the princess themed cereals besides being themed after the top ruler of the land.
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>Then there's Princess Cadence Sugar Hearts, the newcomer.
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>Hearts made of pure sugar, with already sugary cereal pieces, this one was a bust too
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>And then there's the least popular, and the one you came for...
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>Luna's Marshmallow Moons, the only one that's tolerable
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>Pick out the marshmallow moons and save them for when you want something sweet, still pretty sugary, but actually edible to you
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>You put the box into your basket and set off to the bread isle.
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>Not too many choices here when there's only two kinds of bread.
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>White bread...and white bread with the crusts pre-removed
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>Because you're not picky, you grab a loaf of the one with crusts on and keep moving
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>Heading to the milk isle, you see a whole menagerie of milk
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>Regular, chocolate, strawberry...apple for some reason
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>Well, you know which one the Apples buy
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>You grab a jug of regular white milk and head to the checkout so they can call Filthy over the intercom
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>You approach one of the store's cashiers, a teen-aged mare named Number Cruncher
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"Hey Number Cruncher"
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>"Oh, hey dad! I didn't see you come in! Are you ready to check out?"
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"Almost. Could you page Mr. Rich for me, I was wanting to ask if he got any of my coffee in"
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>"Sure thing dad!
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>The pink furred mare picks up a kind of crystal and speaks into it, soon the speakers on the wall loudly repeat:
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>"MISTER RICH, COULD YOU COME TO CHECKOUT #3 PLEASE, DAD WISHES TO SPEAK TO YOU!!"
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>Soon after, you see one of the richest ponies in town before you
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>"Well, Dad Anonymous, it's great to see you! To what do I owe this pleasure?"
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Hey Mr Rich, was wanting to ask if you got any of my coffee in?
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98.
>Filthy suddenly looks a bit disappointed with his ears pressed against his skull
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>"Afraid not, a courier came and said that the ponies shipping it were on their way to Ponyville, when they got caught in a natural thunderstorm! They had to hide in a nearby cave because of the scary thunder! I'm sorry if I disappointed you dad..."
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"It's ok Mr Rich, it's not your fault! I still have enough left at home to last me until they get here. So I'm not disappointed in you!"
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101.
>"T-thank you daddy Anonymous!"
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102.
>Filthy then pulls you into a hug
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>Despite being the richest pony in town and a rather intelligent businesspony, he still had the childish mindset all ponies have.
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>After finishing the hug, he looks at his hoofwatch
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105.
>"Oh my Celestia it's fifteen minutes until one o'clock!"
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>Rich suddenly grabs the crystal Number Cruncher used earlier
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>"Attention shoppers! Rich's Barnyard Bargains will be closing for naptime in fifteen minutes! Please make your way to our cashiers and make your purchases!"
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>"We'll reopen at three o'clock when naptime ends! Thank you again for choosing Rich's Barnyard Bargains!"
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>"Thanks for stoppin' by dad, I'll let you know when the coffee arives! I hate to cut it short but I gotta prepare the store for our naptime close!"
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"No problem Mr Rich, have a good day and a good nap!"
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>With that, the Bourgeioushoers disappears into his nearby office.
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>You hurry and check out after seeing a line of impatient looking ponies behind you
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>"Thanks dad, come again!"
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"See you around Number Cruncher!"
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115.
>Grabbing your bag of groceries, you head to stash them in your home as ponies get ready for their naptime
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>All businesses have to let their employees go home to take a two hour nap by law
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>Ponies don't HAVE to sleep, but everypony you know does anyway.
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>It's a bit inconvenient when you wanted to go somewhere for lunch only to find that it was closed for two hours
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>But such is life in Equestria.
by Eccentric_Anon
by Eccentric_Anon
by Eccentric_Anon
by Eccentric_Anon
by Eccentric_Anon