GREEN
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3379 18.4 KB 314
3379 18.4 KB 314
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Originally Published July 6th, 2018
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>Be Anon
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>Sweat drips from your brow, forming a small puddle on the floor where you stand
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>A dull heat radiates from your aching muscles
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"Ughhh...", you moan
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>AJ looks over at you quizzically as she hands you a mug of water
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>"You okay there, Anon?"
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>You smile and nod, taking the water
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I'm good, AJ. I'm just...enjoying the soreness. Reminds me that I'm still useful.
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>Your arms protest at the weight as you raise the cup to your lips, the cool water constricting your throat as it races down to your gut
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"DAMN THAT'S GOOD!", you cough out
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>AJ laughs and sets her hat aside
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>"Ah wouldn't put it like that, but Ah'm glad you think hard work is its own reward, Anon."
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>She pauses for a moment
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>"That is what you meant, right? That weren't one of your weird human sayings like 'putting the cart before the horse', was it?"
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>You take another long swallow of water
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Yeah, that's what I meant AJ. No weird double meanings.
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>She flicks the brim of her hat and lets out a sigh
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>"Whew! For a second there I was worried didn't have your cows in a row."
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>You chuckle
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Don't you mean "ducks"?
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>The farmhorse looks at you, puzzled.
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>"Anon, we're on a farm, not a lake"
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I know, it's just that the say-
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>"Plus, do you see any breadcrumbs on me?"
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No, bu-
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>"And even if Ah did they'd leave the lawn covered in sh-"
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OKAY!
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>You throw your arms up in protest
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>AJ holds her ground
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>"...They're ducks Anon."
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Well, you're a pony.
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>"Damn straight."
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1/
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>You and AJ stare each other dead in the eyes, and after a few moments, burst into laughter
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>The onion field fills with the sounds of your mirth, echoing off the distant apple trees
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>A high pitched mocking laugh seems to join the reply back from the orchard
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>You stop laughing and your eyes go wide, which only makes Applejack laugh harder
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>It almost sounds like her...
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>"C'mon now, Anon, don't tell me you're afraid of some timberwolf!"
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I-I'm not! I just remembered that I haaaa...
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>Your voice dies off as you try to gather up an excuse
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>"Haaaave to go home and change yer britches?", OrangeTruth teases
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>Bingo
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Well yes, but I also have a meeting with Twilight to get to. You know how she doesn't like putting things off more than a day.
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>The farmer readjusts her hat and nods
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>"Ain't that the truth. Well, Ah'm not gonna keep you from yer party."
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>Party?
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What party?
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>You stare at Applejack, and her eyes dart around nervously
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>"Ah have no idea what yer talkin' about, Anon. No sir!"
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>She sucks her lips inwards and begins sweating profusely
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>You decide not to press the issue further and begin moonwalking backwards towards town
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>It is exactly as awkward looking as it sounds, and it kicks up massive clouds of dust into Applejack's eyes
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>"MY EYES!"
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2/
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>You spent a few minutes holding the hose for AJ so she could wash the dirt from her eyes
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>And after that was done, you made your way to Twilight's Library
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>...Castle. Got to commit that to memory
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>You knock loudly on the door, but no one responds
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HELLO!?
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>Again, no response comes
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Guess I'll just let myself in.
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>You pull the door open and step inside
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GAH!
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>And immediately trip over a small blue unicorn
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Trixie! What the he-GUGH!
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>An equally small and blue hoof finds its way into your mouth
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>"Didn't your parents teach you to be patient?" She barks at you in a whisper
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>You force her hoof out of your mouth, taking a deep breath and gagging as the air drags over your tastebuds
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Didn't youHURGHrparents teach you to wash your hooves?
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>Trixie smells her hoof and glares at you while you drag the inside of your shirt across your tongue
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You taste like Band-Aids and gunpowder. Eugh.
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>"Trixie has been busy caring for her patient!"
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>The magician points towards a large ball of bandages resting on the couch
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>As if on cue, the bandages begin to wiggle furiously
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>"Trixie? I can't move and I have to use the bathroom!"
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Is that Starlight?
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>The ball wobbles again, and the smallest bit of purple hoof pokes out and flaps at you
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>"Hi Anon. Can you get me out of here?"
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3/
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>Before you can liberate the second purple unicorn you know, Trixie has pounced on her with a roll of bandages
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>"No walking! You need to rest!"
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>The roll races around Glimmer's cocoon with blinding speed, and the little bit of hoof that you could see vanishes in an instant
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>"Trixie, I'm fine! Just let me go to the bathroom!"
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>"No need! The Caring and Sagacious Trixie has a bedpan already set up!"
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Should I go? I can always come back later if you two are busy playing Misery.
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>You try to do your patented reverse moonwalk backwards out of the door, but find yourself unable to move
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>"Nonsense, Anonymous!" Trixie proclaims as she zaps you to the stairs with her magic
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>A massive hunger pang grips your stomach as your atoms reform near the banister
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>"Twilight said to send you upstairs as soon as you arrived!"
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>A wet PLAP fills the air as your half-digested breakfast hits the floor
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>”Anon! You’ve made a mess of Trixie’s Hospice, and I demand you clean it immediately!”
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>You shake your head
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You're the one who made me toss my cookies.
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>”And what do you mean by ‘Hospice’?”, rises a concerned voice from the couch
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>”Starlight please, you could be taken by The Bony Pony at any minute. Now get some rest and I’ll ge-HEY!”
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>You stopped paying attention and resumed heading upstairs around the time Starlight said “what”
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>And, just as you were about to reach the top step, a certain blue unicorn popped back into view
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4/
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>You try to step around her, but Trixie sidesteps to get in front of you
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Really?
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>“Absolutely. Vomit is disgusting and brings flies.”
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Didn’t you say Twilight wanted to see me as soon as possible?
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>"Clean it", she glowers at you
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>You start to move past her again, but she pokes your stomach with her horn
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>She knows you have no way past her
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Fine. Just let me tie my shoe. I don’t want to trip on my laces.
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>As you bend down you tuck your head behind your leg, away from Trixie’s line of sight, and clear your throat
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“Trixie? I got out of my bandages to get some juice, but in my weakened state I dropped my glass and fell on the shards.”
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>”STARLIGHT!”, Trixie screams as she pushes past you and bolts into the kitchen, paying no mind to her mummified marefriend still resting on the couch
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And Dad said those voice classes wouldn’t pay off.
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>You summit the stairs, repressing that those classes have only really been useful to you a handful of times
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5/
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>The crystal halls of Twilight’s castle are empty as you make your way towards her library
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>Granted, you didn’t have a clue of where she actually was at since Trixie neglected to inform you of her location
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>But you feel that even as a Princess, the most likely place for her to be at would be a place filled with books
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>Or hayburgers
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God, how she can put away those hayburgers...
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>Your footsteps echo inside the hallway as you approach the Library, and you begin to wonder why Twilight was so insistent on this meeting
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>Maybe the Cutie Map finally summoned you
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>Or another human finally found their way to Equestria
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Ooh, I hope she's ho-GGH!
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>For the second time today, a hoof finds itself lodged in your mouth
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>You try to claw it out before you can taste the dirt on it, but a force holds your arms still
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>Shadows cloud your vision and blind, mute, and immobile, you feel your feet lift off the floor
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>A few moments of motion sickness, colliding into walls, and many hushed "Sorry!"'s later, you feel the ground beneath your feet again, and the hoof pops out of your mouth
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So, is jamming hooves in mouths a cultural thing or something, Twi? Because I'm not for it.
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>"I'm-AHEM", she clears her throat and begins speaking in a deeper voice "I'm not sure what you mean, strange monkey I've never met before. Who is this Twilight?"
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>Your vision still blacked out, you turn to where her voice is coming from
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You are. You're the only pony I can think of whose hooves would reek that badly of ink and parchment.
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>"...drat."
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>Color slowy begins its return to your eyesight, and the fuzzy shape of Twilight stands sheepishly in front of you
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>"Sooo, is that your new hobby? Smelling hooves?"
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Only if I'm being paid enough. Now, is there a reason you had to drag me into your lib-
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6/
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>Swords
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>Walls scaled with swords and lined by suits of armor fill your eyes as your vision returns to you
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>A long, oval table made from smoldering pieces of oak spans the length of the room, small tongues of flame darting up from it at odd intervals
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>It fills you with a sense of dread
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This isn't the library.
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>"That it isn't."
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>Twilight takes a deep breath and stares you in the eyes
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>"It's The War Room."
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By which you mean the room Spike plays O&O in, right?
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>A nervous chuckle slips from your throat and promptly dies in the air as Twilight responds with a flat
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>"No."
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>She rests a wing on the table, and flame licks around it
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>"This is the room from which I plan military defenses in the event of Ponyville being invaded by a hostile adversary."
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>The flames on the table begin crawling over the top of her wing.
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Uh, Twi? Your wing is-
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>”On fire? I assure you it doesn’t burn, but it does give off a very intense heat.”
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>The flames warp and dance across her feathers as she traces her limb on the tabletop
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>”I sometimes wonder why the Tree made this room a part of the castle. Why it chose to repurpose Golden Oaks as a table in this room, and not in the library.”
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>Twilight stares into the flames, a wistful look on her face
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Maybe because the tree knew how much you loved the library and tried to incorporate that while recognizing your responsibilities as a leader?
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>Twilight continues gazing into the flames
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>The faintest hint of a smile colors her face as the fire makes its way closer to her body
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>”Maybe. Or maybe Celestia had it put here, to remind me of who put me here in the first place. To remind me of my place."
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7/
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>"Although I suppose that's neither here nor there, is it."
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>She finally removes her wing from the table and a tail of flame strings between her body and the table
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>With slow, measured steps, she closes in on you
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>"I asked you to come here today for something very important, Anon."
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Was it to make me crap my pants? Is Ponyville somehow that short on manure?Because if that’s the reason, then you’ve failed.
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>”No, that’s not the-“
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Mostly.
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“Mostly?”
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>You lift your ass off of the chair
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Okay maybe you partially failed.
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>”Partially? Anon, failure isn’t a partial measure. It’s either a yes or nOKAY YUP I GET WHAT YOU MEAN.”
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>Twilight reaches her wings around to cover her nose
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>”Eugh.”
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You have no one to blame here but yourself.
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>A purple glow surrounds her horn, and with a familiar popple and crack, a pair of your jeans and underwear falls into your lap
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>One change of pantaloons later
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>”Can I look now?”
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Yes. Thanks again for the change of clothes.
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>”It’s not like I was going to let you sit in your own filth. Now-“
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>Twilight reaches underneath the table and drags a small chest into view
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>It’s very nondescript looking, but you can feel a great power radiating out from the inside
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>”This,” she says as she opens the lid, keeping the box faced away from you, ”is the reason I asked you to visit me today. THINK FAST!”
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>Hooking her hooves around the box, she whips it around fast enough the send the contents flying towards you
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>The item that was inside the box attempts to bury itself in your face, stopping mere inches from your eyes
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>Where it explodes in a blinding green light
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8/
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>Wake up
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>The sunlight is coming in through the open window
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>A beam of sunlight falls over your eyes, and you wince and roll away in response
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>The floor is cold beneath your hooves as you get out of the bed and walk towards your mirror
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>A tired face stares back at you
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I am Fluttershy.
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>The mirror’s mouth moves along with your own, but you don’t believe what it is saying
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>So you repeat yourself
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I am Fluttershy.
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I am Fluttershy.
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I am Fluttershy.
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>Yes
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>You are Fluttershy
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>You live on the outskirts of Ponyville, in a cottage where you care for lost animals and your neighbors’ pets
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>Life is…
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>Life is
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>After a morning shower, you wrap your mane in a towel and walk down the stairs to the kitchen
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>As usual, Discord and Angel are having coffee
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>So, as usual, you start to boil water for a bowl of oatmeal, and begin slicing apples for Angel’s morning bowl of fruit salad
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>The knife is sharp, as a blunt knife is far more dangerous than a sharp one
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>With a few practiced rocks of the knife, the apple is peeled and sliced into eighths
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>The apples go into the bowl, and you begin dicing the pineapple
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>Angel chitters as you remove the skin from the pineapple
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>You start to reply, but Discord chitters back for you
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>Angel chitters again, and Discord replies again. You place the pineapples into the bowl
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>More chittering, and then a snap. The water is boiling, so you take it from the heat and add your oats
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>You turn around, and see Angel is no longer there. You add some of the apples to your oatmeal, with some cinnamon
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Oh my, I wonder where Angel went to?
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>”Probably to the brothel for another hard day of work.”, Discord replies as he drinks his coffee
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>You giggle, though you find no humor in the joke, and sit down at the table
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>She knew-…You know of Angel’s career. And of his capacity for normal speech. He pretends to be a simple rabbit because he believes it makes you happiest
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>Happy
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>You stir the oats to help the water absorb into them fully
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9/
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>Discord thumbs through his newspaper, and you blow on your oats
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>The quiet noises are amplified in the even quieter kitchen
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>You feel a need to say something to break the quiet
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>It’s normal to talk at mealtimes
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>You are normal
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>”Hmm. ‘Local woman divorces husband, cites gaming as main reason.’ What a world we live in, eh?”
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Which game?
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>Comfortable, you return focus to your oats
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>”I think it was a kind of LARP. But to be so attached to game that you would neglect everything else…can you even imagine it?”
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I..I don’t believe I can. I’m not much for those games.
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>You bring a spoonful of oats to your mouth
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>The cereal is warm and sweet
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>Silence returns to the kitchen
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10/
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>After washing your dish, you returned to the bedroom to brush out your hair
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>You run the brush downwards, starting at the bottom of your hair, undoing the knots as you go up
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>It was the way her mother taught her
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>You pull the brush away
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>Your mother
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>The way your mother taught you
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>Your wing begins to ache, strained by the force with which you are holding the brush
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>You breathe deeply, loosening your grip as you do so, and return to brushing your hair
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>It’s Wednesday
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AH SHIT!
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>You are Anon
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>Green light is flooding your vision, even with your hands clamped tightly around your eyes
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>Strange patterns move through the light, and they almost resemble…ponies?
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>You see the lives of scores of ponies, each one a kind soul who put the well-being of others above their own
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>Or at least, that’s what you can feel from them. The patterns don’t have any real shape to them, but a part of your being knows that they are ponies, and that these ponies were kind
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>”Anon!”
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>A familiar voice calls out to you, and the green light leaves your eyes
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>Only to be replaced by a much brighter white light
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FUCK!
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>"Are you okay? Do you feel queasy? How many feathers am I holding up?"
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>Twilight shoves a blurry wing in your face, and you push her away in kind
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"I'm fine", you gurgle as an acidic sensation crawls up the ba-
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AAAAUUUUUGGGGGGGGH
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11/
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>A fountain of vomit arcs across the room
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>"Ew!", Twilight screeches, barely erecting a shield in time to block the spew from splashing her
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...fine. Shee? Eberyting's fine.
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>Twilight peeks out from behind her shield
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>"Good. I was kind of worried you might explode across the floor or something. I guess I was right, kind of."
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>Twilight levitates you a box of tissues and you take one, blowing out the chunks of food that strayed up your nose
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"Now", clearing your throat with a growl, "what the hell was the light show about? And did you say 'explode'? And what the hell did you throw at me, anyway?"
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>Twilight lowers her shield as she rolls your questions around in her big egg head
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>"Right, so," Twilight begins, "I want to start by confiding something in you."
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Uh, okay? Shoot.
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>Twilight steps over to your side and sits down, gingerly skipping around the puddles of vomit
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>"I'm afraid of change, Anon. Morbidly, irrationally terrified of change."
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>Her wings drop as if she just shrugged a heavy load from them
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>"Do you remember when I became a princess?"
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>You laugh
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I don't think there's a person alive who can forget the time you flew around town screaming "EVERYTHING'S GONNA BE JUST F-ow!"
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>Twilight bats at your shoulder, her hooves surprisingly painful in spite of the lack of force behind her blows
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>"Ass. I was going to say, the only reason I did that was because my world had fundamentally shifted. I wasn't just Twilight Sparkle: librarian and Element Bearer."
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And ethically challenged magicist?
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>"...yes. I was thrust into being Twilight Sparkle: Librarian, Element Bearer, and Princess of Friendship."
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And ethically challenged magicist.
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>Twilight raises a hoof, and you put your arms up to block her
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12/
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>"I didn't want to accept it at first, because it didn't fit how I saw myself," she states as she lowers her hoof.
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>"It didn't fit how I had planned my life to be. And I was scared."
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>Twilight directs her gaze at the floor, staring deep into a splash of puke
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>"For that same reason, I shut out Spike when The Element of Laughter chose him to be its new bearer."
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Because you didn't want to think about anybody else being Laughter.
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>"Well that, and it's dangerous being an Element Bearer. You've seen the stuff we have to deal with, Anon."
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>It's true. In between world-ending events, the girls were called on for anything ranging from diplomatic missions to directing rush hour traffic
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I still think about those party carriages.
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>Twilight drapes a wing around your shoulders
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>"We all do. But!"
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>She stands up, and a glow surrounds her horn as she starts collecting up your vomit into a floating ball
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>"Since you didn't turn into a pulpy mess, I have a lot of confidence in how you'll be able to handle future crises."
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>...and she lost you
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"Come again?", you inquire as you shakily begin to stand, "Not trying to ignore your new sense of self-awareness, Twi, but I'm -TINK-"
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>As you stand, you hear something metallic hit the floor between your legs
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>And looking down, you see that it's an Element of Harmony
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...lost.
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/13
by Greggums
by Greggums
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