GREEN
192
0
3379 18.4 KB 314
3379 18.4 KB 314
-
1.
Originally Published July 6th, 2018
-
2.
-
3.
>Be Anon
-
4.
>Sweat drips from your brow, forming a small puddle on the floor where you stand
-
5.
>A dull heat radiates from your aching muscles
-
6.
"Ughhh...", you moan
-
7.
>AJ looks over at you quizzically as she hands you a mug of water
-
8.
>"You okay there, Anon?"
-
9.
>You smile and nod, taking the water
-
10.
I'm good, AJ. I'm just...enjoying the soreness. Reminds me that I'm still useful.
-
11.
>Your arms protest at the weight as you raise the cup to your lips, the cool water constricting your throat as it races down to your gut
-
12.
"DAMN THAT'S GOOD!", you cough out
-
13.
>AJ laughs and sets her hat aside
-
14.
>"Ah wouldn't put it like that, but Ah'm glad you think hard work is its own reward, Anon."
-
15.
>She pauses for a moment
-
16.
>"That is what you meant, right? That weren't one of your weird human sayings like 'putting the cart before the horse', was it?"
-
17.
>You take another long swallow of water
-
18.
Yeah, that's what I meant AJ. No weird double meanings.
-
19.
>She flicks the brim of her hat and lets out a sigh
-
20.
>"Whew! For a second there I was worried didn't have your cows in a row."
-
21.
>You chuckle
-
22.
Don't you mean "ducks"?
-
23.
>The farmhorse looks at you, puzzled.
-
24.
>"Anon, we're on a farm, not a lake"
-
25.
I know, it's just that the say-
-
26.
>"Plus, do you see any breadcrumbs on me?"
-
27.
No, bu-
-
28.
>"And even if Ah did they'd leave the lawn covered in sh-"
-
29.
OKAY!
-
30.
>You throw your arms up in protest
-
31.
>AJ holds her ground
-
32.
>"...They're ducks Anon."
-
33.
Well, you're a pony.
-
34.
>"Damn straight."
-
35.
1/
-
36.
-
37.
>You and AJ stare each other dead in the eyes, and after a few moments, burst into laughter
-
38.
>The onion field fills with the sounds of your mirth, echoing off the distant apple trees
-
39.
>A high pitched mocking laugh seems to join the reply back from the orchard
-
40.
>You stop laughing and your eyes go wide, which only makes Applejack laugh harder
-
41.
>It almost sounds like her...
-
42.
>"C'mon now, Anon, don't tell me you're afraid of some timberwolf!"
-
43.
I-I'm not! I just remembered that I haaaa...
-
44.
>Your voice dies off as you try to gather up an excuse
-
45.
>"Haaaave to go home and change yer britches?", OrangeTruth teases
-
46.
>Bingo
-
47.
Well yes, but I also have a meeting with Twilight to get to. You know how she doesn't like putting things off more than a day.
-
48.
>The farmer readjusts her hat and nods
-
49.
>"Ain't that the truth. Well, Ah'm not gonna keep you from yer party."
-
50.
>Party?
-
51.
What party?
-
52.
>You stare at Applejack, and her eyes dart around nervously
-
53.
>"Ah have no idea what yer talkin' about, Anon. No sir!"
-
54.
>She sucks her lips inwards and begins sweating profusely
-
55.
>You decide not to press the issue further and begin moonwalking backwards towards town
-
56.
>It is exactly as awkward looking as it sounds, and it kicks up massive clouds of dust into Applejack's eyes
-
57.
>"MY EYES!"
-
58.
2/
-
59.
-
60.
>You spent a few minutes holding the hose for AJ so she could wash the dirt from her eyes
-
61.
>And after that was done, you made your way to Twilight's Library
-
62.
>...Castle. Got to commit that to memory
-
63.
>You knock loudly on the door, but no one responds
-
64.
HELLO!?
-
65.
>Again, no response comes
-
66.
Guess I'll just let myself in.
-
67.
>You pull the door open and step inside
-
68.
GAH!
-
69.
>And immediately trip over a small blue unicorn
-
70.
Trixie! What the he-GUGH!
-
71.
>An equally small and blue hoof finds its way into your mouth
-
72.
>"Didn't your parents teach you to be patient?" She barks at you in a whisper
-
73.
>You force her hoof out of your mouth, taking a deep breath and gagging as the air drags over your tastebuds
-
74.
Didn't youHURGHrparents teach you to wash your hooves?
-
75.
>Trixie smells her hoof and glares at you while you drag the inside of your shirt across your tongue
-
76.
You taste like Band-Aids and gunpowder. Eugh.
-
77.
>"Trixie has been busy caring for her patient!"
-
78.
>The magician points towards a large ball of bandages resting on the couch
-
79.
>As if on cue, the bandages begin to wiggle furiously
-
80.
>"Trixie? I can't move and I have to use the bathroom!"
-
81.
Is that Starlight?
-
82.
>The ball wobbles again, and the smallest bit of purple hoof pokes out and flaps at you
-
83.
>"Hi Anon. Can you get me out of here?"
-
84.
3/
-
85.
-
86.
>Before you can liberate the second purple unicorn you know, Trixie has pounced on her with a roll of bandages
-
87.
>"No walking! You need to rest!"
-
88.
>The roll races around Glimmer's cocoon with blinding speed, and the little bit of hoof that you could see vanishes in an instant
-
89.
>"Trixie, I'm fine! Just let me go to the bathroom!"
-
90.
>"No need! The Caring and Sagacious Trixie has a bedpan already set up!"
-
91.
Should I go? I can always come back later if you two are busy playing Misery.
-
92.
>You try to do your patented reverse moonwalk backwards out of the door, but find yourself unable to move
-
93.
>"Nonsense, Anonymous!" Trixie proclaims as she zaps you to the stairs with her magic
-
94.
>A massive hunger pang grips your stomach as your atoms reform near the banister
-
95.
>"Twilight said to send you upstairs as soon as you arrived!"
-
96.
>A wet PLAP fills the air as your half-digested breakfast hits the floor
-
97.
>”Anon! You’ve made a mess of Trixie’s Hospice, and I demand you clean it immediately!”
-
98.
>You shake your head
-
99.
You're the one who made me toss my cookies.
-
100.
>”And what do you mean by ‘Hospice’?”, rises a concerned voice from the couch
-
101.
>”Starlight please, you could be taken by The Bony Pony at any minute. Now get some rest and I’ll ge-HEY!”
-
102.
>You stopped paying attention and resumed heading upstairs around the time Starlight said “what”
-
103.
>And, just as you were about to reach the top step, a certain blue unicorn popped back into view
-
104.
4/
-
105.
-
106.
>You try to step around her, but Trixie sidesteps to get in front of you
-
107.
Really?
-
108.
>“Absolutely. Vomit is disgusting and brings flies.”
-
109.
Didn’t you say Twilight wanted to see me as soon as possible?
-
110.
>"Clean it", she glowers at you
-
111.
>You start to move past her again, but she pokes your stomach with her horn
-
112.
>She knows you have no way past her
-
113.
Fine. Just let me tie my shoe. I don’t want to trip on my laces.
-
114.
>As you bend down you tuck your head behind your leg, away from Trixie’s line of sight, and clear your throat
-
115.
“Trixie? I got out of my bandages to get some juice, but in my weakened state I dropped my glass and fell on the shards.”
-
116.
>”STARLIGHT!”, Trixie screams as she pushes past you and bolts into the kitchen, paying no mind to her mummified marefriend still resting on the couch
-
117.
And Dad said those voice classes wouldn’t pay off.
-
118.
>You summit the stairs, repressing that those classes have only really been useful to you a handful of times
-
119.
5/
-
120.
-
121.
>The crystal halls of Twilight’s castle are empty as you make your way towards her library
-
122.
>Granted, you didn’t have a clue of where she actually was at since Trixie neglected to inform you of her location
-
123.
>But you feel that even as a Princess, the most likely place for her to be at would be a place filled with books
-
124.
>Or hayburgers
-
125.
God, how she can put away those hayburgers...
-
126.
>Your footsteps echo inside the hallway as you approach the Library, and you begin to wonder why Twilight was so insistent on this meeting
-
127.
>Maybe the Cutie Map finally summoned you
-
128.
>Or another human finally found their way to Equestria
-
129.
Ooh, I hope she's ho-GGH!
-
130.
>For the second time today, a hoof finds itself lodged in your mouth
-
131.
>You try to claw it out before you can taste the dirt on it, but a force holds your arms still
-
132.
>Shadows cloud your vision and blind, mute, and immobile, you feel your feet lift off the floor
-
133.
>A few moments of motion sickness, colliding into walls, and many hushed "Sorry!"'s later, you feel the ground beneath your feet again, and the hoof pops out of your mouth
-
134.
So, is jamming hooves in mouths a cultural thing or something, Twi? Because I'm not for it.
-
135.
>"I'm-AHEM", she clears her throat and begins speaking in a deeper voice "I'm not sure what you mean, strange monkey I've never met before. Who is this Twilight?"
-
136.
>Your vision still blacked out, you turn to where her voice is coming from
-
137.
You are. You're the only pony I can think of whose hooves would reek that badly of ink and parchment.
-
138.
>"...drat."
-
139.
>Color slowy begins its return to your eyesight, and the fuzzy shape of Twilight stands sheepishly in front of you
-
140.
>"Sooo, is that your new hobby? Smelling hooves?"
-
141.
Only if I'm being paid enough. Now, is there a reason you had to drag me into your lib-
-
142.
6/
-
143.
-
144.
>Swords
-
145.
>Walls scaled with swords and lined by suits of armor fill your eyes as your vision returns to you
-
146.
>A long, oval table made from smoldering pieces of oak spans the length of the room, small tongues of flame darting up from it at odd intervals
-
147.
>It fills you with a sense of dread
-
148.
This isn't the library.
-
149.
>"That it isn't."
-
150.
>Twilight takes a deep breath and stares you in the eyes
-
151.
>"It's The War Room."
-
152.
By which you mean the room Spike plays O&O in, right?
-
153.
>A nervous chuckle slips from your throat and promptly dies in the air as Twilight responds with a flat
-
154.
>"No."
-
155.
>She rests a wing on the table, and flame licks around it
-
156.
>"This is the room from which I plan military defenses in the event of Ponyville being invaded by a hostile adversary."
-
157.
>The flames on the table begin crawling over the top of her wing.
-
158.
Uh, Twi? Your wing is-
-
159.
>”On fire? I assure you it doesn’t burn, but it does give off a very intense heat.”
-
160.
>The flames warp and dance across her feathers as she traces her limb on the tabletop
-
161.
>”I sometimes wonder why the Tree made this room a part of the castle. Why it chose to repurpose Golden Oaks as a table in this room, and not in the library.”
-
162.
>Twilight stares into the flames, a wistful look on her face
-
163.
Maybe because the tree knew how much you loved the library and tried to incorporate that while recognizing your responsibilities as a leader?
-
164.
>Twilight continues gazing into the flames
-
165.
>The faintest hint of a smile colors her face as the fire makes its way closer to her body
-
166.
>”Maybe. Or maybe Celestia had it put here, to remind me of who put me here in the first place. To remind me of my place."
-
167.
7/
-
168.
-
169.
>"Although I suppose that's neither here nor there, is it."
-
170.
>She finally removes her wing from the table and a tail of flame strings between her body and the table
-
171.
>With slow, measured steps, she closes in on you
-
172.
>"I asked you to come here today for something very important, Anon."
-
173.
Was it to make me crap my pants? Is Ponyville somehow that short on manure?Because if that’s the reason, then you’ve failed.
-
174.
>”No, that’s not the-“
-
175.
Mostly.
-
176.
“Mostly?”
-
177.
>You lift your ass off of the chair
-
178.
Okay maybe you partially failed.
-
179.
>”Partially? Anon, failure isn’t a partial measure. It’s either a yes or nOKAY YUP I GET WHAT YOU MEAN.”
-
180.
>Twilight reaches her wings around to cover her nose
-
181.
>”Eugh.”
-
182.
You have no one to blame here but yourself.
-
183.
>A purple glow surrounds her horn, and with a familiar popple and crack, a pair of your jeans and underwear falls into your lap
-
184.
>One change of pantaloons later
-
185.
>”Can I look now?”
-
186.
Yes. Thanks again for the change of clothes.
-
187.
>”It’s not like I was going to let you sit in your own filth. Now-“
-
188.
>Twilight reaches underneath the table and drags a small chest into view
-
189.
>It’s very nondescript looking, but you can feel a great power radiating out from the inside
-
190.
>”This,” she says as she opens the lid, keeping the box faced away from you, ”is the reason I asked you to visit me today. THINK FAST!”
-
191.
>Hooking her hooves around the box, she whips it around fast enough the send the contents flying towards you
-
192.
>The item that was inside the box attempts to bury itself in your face, stopping mere inches from your eyes
-
193.
>Where it explodes in a blinding green light
-
194.
8/
-
195.
-
196.
>Wake up
-
197.
>The sunlight is coming in through the open window
-
198.
>A beam of sunlight falls over your eyes, and you wince and roll away in response
-
199.
>The floor is cold beneath your hooves as you get out of the bed and walk towards your mirror
-
200.
>A tired face stares back at you
-
201.
I am Fluttershy.
-
202.
>The mirror’s mouth moves along with your own, but you don’t believe what it is saying
-
203.
>So you repeat yourself
-
204.
I am Fluttershy.
-
205.
I am Fluttershy.
-
206.
I am Fluttershy.
-
207.
>Yes
-
208.
>You are Fluttershy
-
209.
>You live on the outskirts of Ponyville, in a cottage where you care for lost animals and your neighbors’ pets
-
210.
>Life is…
-
211.
>Life is
-
212.
-
213.
>After a morning shower, you wrap your mane in a towel and walk down the stairs to the kitchen
-
214.
>As usual, Discord and Angel are having coffee
-
215.
>So, as usual, you start to boil water for a bowl of oatmeal, and begin slicing apples for Angel’s morning bowl of fruit salad
-
216.
>The knife is sharp, as a blunt knife is far more dangerous than a sharp one
-
217.
>With a few practiced rocks of the knife, the apple is peeled and sliced into eighths
-
218.
>The apples go into the bowl, and you begin dicing the pineapple
-
219.
>Angel chitters as you remove the skin from the pineapple
-
220.
>You start to reply, but Discord chitters back for you
-
221.
>Angel chitters again, and Discord replies again. You place the pineapples into the bowl
-
222.
>More chittering, and then a snap. The water is boiling, so you take it from the heat and add your oats
-
223.
>You turn around, and see Angel is no longer there. You add some of the apples to your oatmeal, with some cinnamon
-
224.
Oh my, I wonder where Angel went to?
-
225.
>”Probably to the brothel for another hard day of work.”, Discord replies as he drinks his coffee
-
226.
>You giggle, though you find no humor in the joke, and sit down at the table
-
227.
>She knew-…You know of Angel’s career. And of his capacity for normal speech. He pretends to be a simple rabbit because he believes it makes you happiest
-
228.
>Happy
-
229.
>You stir the oats to help the water absorb into them fully
-
230.
9/
-
231.
-
232.
>Discord thumbs through his newspaper, and you blow on your oats
-
233.
>The quiet noises are amplified in the even quieter kitchen
-
234.
>You feel a need to say something to break the quiet
-
235.
>It’s normal to talk at mealtimes
-
236.
>You are normal
-
237.
>”Hmm. ‘Local woman divorces husband, cites gaming as main reason.’ What a world we live in, eh?”
-
238.
Which game?
-
239.
>Comfortable, you return focus to your oats
-
240.
>”I think it was a kind of LARP. But to be so attached to game that you would neglect everything else…can you even imagine it?”
-
241.
I..I don’t believe I can. I’m not much for those games.
-
242.
>You bring a spoonful of oats to your mouth
-
243.
>The cereal is warm and sweet
-
244.
>Silence returns to the kitchen
-
245.
10/
-
246.
-
247.
>After washing your dish, you returned to the bedroom to brush out your hair
-
248.
>You run the brush downwards, starting at the bottom of your hair, undoing the knots as you go up
-
249.
>It was the way her mother taught her
-
250.
>You pull the brush away
-
251.
>Your mother
-
252.
>The way your mother taught you
-
253.
>Your wing begins to ache, strained by the force with which you are holding the brush
-
254.
>You breathe deeply, loosening your grip as you do so, and return to brushing your hair
-
255.
>It’s Wednesday
-
256.
-
-
257.
AH SHIT!
-
258.
>You are Anon
-
259.
>Green light is flooding your vision, even with your hands clamped tightly around your eyes
-
260.
>Strange patterns move through the light, and they almost resemble…ponies?
-
261.
>You see the lives of scores of ponies, each one a kind soul who put the well-being of others above their own
-
262.
>Or at least, that’s what you can feel from them. The patterns don’t have any real shape to them, but a part of your being knows that they are ponies, and that these ponies were kind
-
263.
>”Anon!”
-
264.
>A familiar voice calls out to you, and the green light leaves your eyes
-
265.
>Only to be replaced by a much brighter white light
-
266.
FUCK!
-
267.
>"Are you okay? Do you feel queasy? How many feathers am I holding up?"
-
268.
>Twilight shoves a blurry wing in your face, and you push her away in kind
-
269.
"I'm fine", you gurgle as an acidic sensation crawls up the ba-
-
270.
AAAAUUUUUGGGGGGGGH
-
271.
11/
-
272.
-
273.
>A fountain of vomit arcs across the room
-
274.
>"Ew!", Twilight screeches, barely erecting a shield in time to block the spew from splashing her
-
275.
...fine. Shee? Eberyting's fine.
-
276.
>Twilight peeks out from behind her shield
-
277.
>"Good. I was kind of worried you might explode across the floor or something. I guess I was right, kind of."
-
278.
>Twilight levitates you a box of tissues and you take one, blowing out the chunks of food that strayed up your nose
-
279.
"Now", clearing your throat with a growl, "what the hell was the light show about? And did you say 'explode'? And what the hell did you throw at me, anyway?"
-
280.
>Twilight lowers her shield as she rolls your questions around in her big egg head
-
281.
>"Right, so," Twilight begins, "I want to start by confiding something in you."
-
282.
Uh, okay? Shoot.
-
283.
>Twilight steps over to your side and sits down, gingerly skipping around the puddles of vomit
-
284.
>"I'm afraid of change, Anon. Morbidly, irrationally terrified of change."
-
285.
>Her wings drop as if she just shrugged a heavy load from them
-
286.
>"Do you remember when I became a princess?"
-
287.
>You laugh
-
288.
I don't think there's a person alive who can forget the time you flew around town screaming "EVERYTHING'S GONNA BE JUST F-ow!"
-
289.
>Twilight bats at your shoulder, her hooves surprisingly painful in spite of the lack of force behind her blows
-
290.
>"Ass. I was going to say, the only reason I did that was because my world had fundamentally shifted. I wasn't just Twilight Sparkle: librarian and Element Bearer."
-
291.
And ethically challenged magicist?
-
292.
>"...yes. I was thrust into being Twilight Sparkle: Librarian, Element Bearer, and Princess of Friendship."
-
293.
And ethically challenged magicist.
-
294.
>Twilight raises a hoof, and you put your arms up to block her
-
295.
12/
-
296.
-
297.
>"I didn't want to accept it at first, because it didn't fit how I saw myself," she states as she lowers her hoof.
-
298.
>"It didn't fit how I had planned my life to be. And I was scared."
-
299.
>Twilight directs her gaze at the floor, staring deep into a splash of puke
-
300.
>"For that same reason, I shut out Spike when The Element of Laughter chose him to be its new bearer."
-
301.
Because you didn't want to think about anybody else being Laughter.
-
302.
>"Well that, and it's dangerous being an Element Bearer. You've seen the stuff we have to deal with, Anon."
-
303.
>It's true. In between world-ending events, the girls were called on for anything ranging from diplomatic missions to directing rush hour traffic
-
304.
I still think about those party carriages.
-
305.
>Twilight drapes a wing around your shoulders
-
306.
>"We all do. But!"
-
307.
>She stands up, and a glow surrounds her horn as she starts collecting up your vomit into a floating ball
-
308.
>"Since you didn't turn into a pulpy mess, I have a lot of confidence in how you'll be able to handle future crises."
-
309.
>...and she lost you
-
310.
"Come again?", you inquire as you shakily begin to stand, "Not trying to ignore your new sense of self-awareness, Twi, but I'm -TINK-"
-
311.
>As you stand, you hear something metallic hit the floor between your legs
-
312.
>And looking down, you see that it's an Element of Harmony
-
313.
...lost.
-
314.
/13
by Greggums
by Greggums
by Greggums
by Greggums
by Greggums