877 5.07 KB 102
-
1.
Author's Note: If you've ever wanted to feel a profound level of writefag circlejerkery, here's your miniseries. Enjoy.
-
2.
-
3.
Originally Published January 16th, 2013
-
4.
-
5.
>Day…you can’t remember what day it is.
-
6.
>You are… you can’t remember who you are.
-
7.
>Fuck. What CAN you remember?
-
8.
>…
-
9.
>Fuck.
-
10.
>Your eyes begin to weakly flutter open, and blurry bodies begin to take shape.
-
11.
>Gazing around, you can see that you’re sitting at a conference table, and that you’re not the only one here.
-
12.
>7 others are the table with you:
-
13.
>A brown Earth filly,
-
14.
>A plum-colored Earth Stallion,
-
15.
>A Diamond Dog,
-
16.
>One of Canterlot’s Pegasi Guards,
-
17.
>A tiger,
-
18.
>A Pegasi wearing a weird hat,
-
19.
>and a lumpy thing that smelled strongly of vinegar; all of them, including yourself, are chained into your seats.
-
20.
SHIT!
-
21.
>There goes your Vow of Silence; it’s a shame too…you were almost on 15 years.
-
22.
>As the others begin to stir from your less than polite wake-up call, you can finally remember your name: Monk.
-
23.
-
24.
-
25.
>Everyone begins to struggle with their shackles.
-
26.
>The two Pegasi try to use their wings as lock-picks, and you try to use magic to get everyone out.
-
27.
>For some reason, seeing a magicky glow sets off the little filly.
-
28.
>”TWILIGHT?! LET ME OUT OF THIS CHAIR YOU CRAZY BITCH!”
-
29.
>”Slasher?”
-
30.
>SS: ”…Disc?”
-
31.
>J: ”Jchallo!”
-
32.
>D: ”SHUT IT, J-jec-jesh…”
-
33.
>J: ”Jchallo.”
-
34.
>SS:”SHUT UP! TWILIGHT WILL HEAR YOU!”
-
35.
>NP: ”Guys; we all need to relax, and then we’ll figure out where we’re at.”
-
36.
Who are you?
-
37.
>NP: ”I’m Neil.”
-
38.
Never heard of you.
-
39.
>NP: “Neil Peart…from Rush?”
-
40.
Still doesn’t ring a bell.
-
41.
>NP: ”I’m a Canadian with a funny hat?”
-
42.
Ohh! That Neil!
-
43.
>J: “Neil!”
-
44.
>D: “Peart-y Neil!”
-
45.
>SS: “DID TWILIGHT PUT YOU UP TO THIS?”
-
46.
>A voice, one that’s all too familiar, begins to speak over the sound of turning gears.
-
47.
>FS: “Don’t w-worry my little Slasher. T-twilight has n-nothing to do with this.”
-
48.
-
49.
-
50.
>A large television screen descends from the ceiling, revealing a very familiar looking pink and yellow pegasus.
-
51.
>No.
-
52.
>It can’t be.
-
53.
>J: “Fluttersh-”
-
54.
>SS: “TWILIGHT?”
-
55.
>The tiger speaks up.
-
56.
>P: ”Are you going to kill us?”
-
57.
>FS: “No Picklehead, I’m not going to kill anyone; whether anyone dies will be up to you.”
-
58.
>P: “I’m not killing anyone you sick fuck!”
-
59.
>Fluttershy laughs, and the room falls silent.
-
60.
>FS: “You misunderstand me, my sweet love-P-pickle. You see, I’ve come to realize that the reason that none of you want to r-rut me is not my fault…it’s yours.”
-
61.
>A collective “U WOT M8?” resounds throughout the chamber.
-
62.
-
63.
-
64.
>After the din quiets down, FlutterNutter begins to speak again.
-
65.
>FS: “None of you c-can love me because you’re all too held back by your own l-lives. I want to c-clean you of your past to make you perfect for me.”
-
66.
>D: “And then what? You plan on using us as your personal brothel?!”
-
67.
>FS: “Oh no; That would b-be going t-too far. ”
-
68.
>A wild memory appears! It’s of Fluttershy checking if you have a scat/vore fetish…in the middle of a crowded market.
-
69.
>Everyone else must be having similar memories, because the room is soon enveloped in peals of laughter.
-
70.
>Except for Neil.
-
71.
>He just looks confused.
-
72.
>Fucking Neil Peart.
-
73.
>FS: “I’m g-going to spilt you o-off into teams of two; the team that can t-transcend themselves will get to love me and live, while those who don’t will die.”
-
74.
>AA: “So it’s like The Hunger Games?”
-
75.
>FS: “What?”
-
76.
>J: “You’re right! This is EXACTLY like The Hunger Games!”
-
77.
>P: “We’re all in teams of two…”
-
78.
Only one team can survive…
-
79.
>S: “It’s a contest none of us want to take part in…”
-
80.
>SS: “AND TWILIGHT”S PROBABLY BEHIND IT ALL!”
-
81.
-
82.
-
83.
>FS: “IT’S NOTHING LIKE THE BUCKING HUNGER GAMES!”
-
84.
>NP: “Of course it isn’t.”
-
85.
>FS: “Now these are the teams you will be in: From Distr- Team One is Jchallo and Picklehead.”
-
86.
>The tiger and pickle-wolf turn to look at each other for the first time, and strange pink hearts replace their pupils.
-
87.
>Jchallo is struggling to pet Pickle’s coat, and Pickle is trying in vain to nom on Jchallo’s neck.
-
88.
They’re gonna die fast.
-
89.
>FS: “Team T-two is Monk and Alcoholic Anon.”
-
90.
>Looking around, you can see what looks like a male Berry Puch…that’s probably Alcoholic Anon.
-
91.
>AA: ”SHADDUP YA’ BUDDERFLY!”
-
92.
>Was that a stealth pun?
-
93.
> FS: “Team Three i-is Slasher Science and D-disc Ward.”
-
94.
>D: “Cool.”
-
95.
> FS: “And the final team is Smudgey and Neil Peart.”
-
96.
>The last two, the Diamond Dog and Neil Peart, eye each other up for a few seconds.
-
97.
>S: “Can I wear your hat?”
-
98.
>NP: “Sure.”
-
99.
> FS: “SILENCE NEIL!” The walls begin to rise, revealing an expansive field of grass and multicolored flowers.
-
100.
>The chairs hiss as the pressure keeping them closed is taken away, and the restraints loosen and fall away.
-
101.
> FS: “Everyone st-stay with your teammates, the game for life and l-love has begun.”
-
102.
>Everyone grabs their respective teammate and runs off into the field, unsure and fearful of how the Yellow Menace may try to clean them.
by Greggums
by Greggums
by Greggums
by Greggums
by Greggums