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PotW AKA TNTHG AKA The Play: Part 1

By Greggums
Created: 2021-10-24 10:00:13
Expiry: Never

  1. Author's Note: If you've ever wanted to feel a profound level of writefag circlejerkery, here's your miniseries. Enjoy.
  2.  
  3. Originally Published January 16th, 2013
  4.  
  5. >Day…you can’t remember what day it is.
  6. >You are… you can’t remember who you are.
  7. >Fuck. What CAN you remember?
  8. >…
  9. >Fuck.
  10. >Your eyes begin to weakly flutter open, and blurry bodies begin to take shape.
  11. >Gazing around, you can see that you’re sitting at a conference table, and that you’re not the only one here.
  12. >7 others are the table with you:
  13. >A brown Earth filly,
  14. >A plum-colored Earth Stallion,
  15. >A Diamond Dog,
  16. >One of Canterlot’s Pegasi Guards,
  17. >A tiger,
  18. >A Pegasi wearing a weird hat,
  19. >and a lumpy thing that smelled strongly of vinegar; all of them, including yourself, are chained into your seats.
  20. SHIT!
  21. >There goes your Vow of Silence; it’s a shame too…you were almost on 15 years.
  22. >As the others begin to stir from your less than polite wake-up call, you can finally remember your name: Monk.
  23.  
  24.  
  25. >Everyone begins to struggle with their shackles.
  26. >The two Pegasi try to use their wings as lock-picks, and you try to use magic to get everyone out.
  27. >For some reason, seeing a magicky glow sets off the little filly.
  28. >”TWILIGHT?! LET ME OUT OF THIS CHAIR YOU CRAZY BITCH!”
  29. >”Slasher?”
  30. >SS: ”…Disc?”
  31. >J: ”Jchallo!”
  32. >D: ”SHUT IT, J-jec-jesh…”
  33. >J: ”Jchallo.”
  34. >SS:”SHUT UP! TWILIGHT WILL HEAR YOU!”
  35. >NP: ”Guys; we all need to relax, and then we’ll figure out where we’re at.”
  36. Who are you?
  37. >NP: ”I’m Neil.”
  38. Never heard of you.
  39. >NP: “Neil Peart…from Rush?”
  40. Still doesn’t ring a bell.
  41. >NP: ”I’m a Canadian with a funny hat?”
  42. Ohh! That Neil!
  43. >J: “Neil!”
  44. >D: “Peart-y Neil!”
  45. >SS: “DID TWILIGHT PUT YOU UP TO THIS?”
  46. >A voice, one that’s all too familiar, begins to speak over the sound of turning gears.
  47. >FS: “Don’t w-worry my little Slasher. T-twilight has n-nothing to do with this.”
  48.  
  49.  
  50. >A large television screen descends from the ceiling, revealing a very familiar looking pink and yellow pegasus.
  51. >No.
  52. >It can’t be.
  53. >J: “Fluttersh-”
  54. >SS: “TWILIGHT?”
  55. >The tiger speaks up.
  56. >P: ”Are you going to kill us?”
  57. >FS: “No Picklehead, I’m not going to kill anyone; whether anyone dies will be up to you.”
  58. >P: “I’m not killing anyone you sick fuck!”
  59. >Fluttershy laughs, and the room falls silent.
  60. >FS: “You misunderstand me, my sweet love-P-pickle. You see, I’ve come to realize that the reason that none of you want to r-rut me is not my fault…it’s yours.”
  61. >A collective “U WOT M8?” resounds throughout the chamber.
  62.  
  63.  
  64. >After the din quiets down, FlutterNutter begins to speak again.
  65. >FS: “None of you c-can love me because you’re all too held back by your own l-lives. I want to c-clean you of your past to make you perfect for me.”
  66. >D: “And then what? You plan on using us as your personal brothel?!”
  67. >FS: “Oh no; That would b-be going t-too far. ”
  68. >A wild memory appears! It’s of Fluttershy checking if you have a scat/vore fetish…in the middle of a crowded market.
  69. >Everyone else must be having similar memories, because the room is soon enveloped in peals of laughter.
  70. >Except for Neil.
  71. >He just looks confused.
  72. >Fucking Neil Peart.
  73. >FS: “I’m g-going to spilt you o-off into teams of two; the team that can t-transcend themselves will get to love me and live, while those who don’t will die.”
  74. >AA: “So it’s like The Hunger Games?”
  75. >FS: “What?”
  76. >J: “You’re right! This is EXACTLY like The Hunger Games!”
  77. >P: “We’re all in teams of two…”
  78. Only one team can survive…
  79. >S: “It’s a contest none of us want to take part in…”
  80. >SS: “AND TWILIGHT”S PROBABLY BEHIND IT ALL!”
  81.  
  82.  
  83. >FS: “IT’S NOTHING LIKE THE BUCKING HUNGER GAMES!”
  84. >NP: “Of course it isn’t.”
  85. >FS: “Now these are the teams you will be in: From Distr- Team One is Jchallo and Picklehead.”
  86. >The tiger and pickle-wolf turn to look at each other for the first time, and strange pink hearts replace their pupils.
  87. >Jchallo is struggling to pet Pickle’s coat, and Pickle is trying in vain to nom on Jchallo’s neck.
  88. They’re gonna die fast.
  89. >FS: “Team T-two is Monk and Alcoholic Anon.”
  90. >Looking around, you can see what looks like a male Berry Puch…that’s probably Alcoholic Anon.
  91. >AA: ”SHADDUP YA’ BUDDERFLY!”
  92. >Was that a stealth pun?
  93. > FS: “Team Three i-is Slasher Science and D-disc Ward.”
  94. >D: “Cool.”
  95. > FS: “And the final team is Smudgey and Neil Peart.”
  96. >The last two, the Diamond Dog and Neil Peart, eye each other up for a few seconds.
  97. >S: “Can I wear your hat?”
  98. >NP: “Sure.”
  99. > FS: “SILENCE NEIL!” The walls begin to rise, revealing an expansive field of grass and multicolored flowers.
  100. >The chairs hiss as the pressure keeping them closed is taken away, and the restraints loosen and fall away.
  101. > FS: “Everyone st-stay with your teammates, the game for life and l-love has begun.”
  102. >Everyone grabs their respective teammate and runs off into the field, unsure and fearful of how the Yellow Menace may try to clean them.

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