No Student Parking in the Faculty Lot 2


                                            Originally Published March 2nd, 2018


                                            >Monday in Equestria

                                            >You are Vice-Principal Luna

                                            >You enjoy helping educate young minds

                                            >And there is a horse in your parking space

                                            >A beautiful mare with a pristine white coat

                                            >A pristine white that you can just barely see through what must be four layers of blue dye and given black dappling

                                            >There's even a crescent moon of undyed fur that's on each of its flanks

                                            >And trying desperately to get out from an upside down saddle is Anonymous

                                            Oh god.

                                            >You roll down your window and lean your head out

                                            Anonymous! Why is there a horse in the faculty lot?

                                            >Anonymous strains to look at you, causing the horse to fidget

                                            >"Oh hey, VP! You're probably wondering about Princess Luna here."

                                            >He pats the horse as he says this

                                            Yes, I a-why does that horse have my name?

                                            >"Well I was walking home last night," Anonymous grins, "and I was just struck by the beauty of this majestic creature. She reminded me so much of you!"

                                            >He pats the horse again, and you swear you can see it wince

                                            >"So I broke her free, cleaned her up, and brought her to you as a gift! I just cant get the saddle right though..."

                                            >He starts fidgeting with the straps again, and a smile spreads across your face

                                            Allow me to help you!, you exclaim before leaning onto your horn.

                                            >BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP

                                            >The horse panics and runs out of the lot, carrying a screaming Anon with it

                                            >"Stay, Princess Luna! HEEEEEEEEEL..."

                                            >His screams fade out as they round the corner

                                            >Giggling, you park your car and practically skip to your office

                                            >No need for a reminder today, since Anon will probably be a while before he makes it back to the school


                                            >Tuesday in Equestria

                                            >You are Dean Cadence

                                            >Head of Crystal Prep Academy

                                            >And there is a young man on a horse in your parking space

                                            >Well, less on and more under, really

                                            >He looks pretty scraped up, so you stop your car and get out to help him

                                            Are you alright, Mister...

                                            >"Name's Anonymous", he tiredly declares as he tries to look at you

                                            >When his eyes catch yours, he seems to brighten up considerably

                                            >"But you can call me 'Smitten', sweetness", he winks at you

                                            >You let him drop to the floor as you undo the last strap

                                            I think I'll stick with "Anonymous", thank you.

                                            >He groans as he rolls over to look at you

                                            >"Yes, you're right! I'm afraid our love cannot be."

                                            >He strikes a dramatic pose for emphasis

                                            >Love? You barely know him!

                                            I'm sorry?

                                            >"Yes, for my heart is already taken by the fair Miss Luna. I mean, you're nice and all, but I'm not really into cougars."

                                            >He pats you on the head as he jogs out of the lot, leaving the horse with you

                                            >"Later toots! I got a woman to woo! Maybe I should try ice cream this time...."

                                            >As he leaves, you pull out your phone and call the number on the saddle, telling the owner where to pick up his horse

                                            >Then you push 3 on the speed-dial

                                            Luna? It's Cadence. I'm sorry I ever doubted you.

                                            >"I told you!"


                                            >It's Monday in Equestria

                                            >You are Principal Celestia

                                            >You enjoy long walks on the beach and sunbathing during the summer months

                                            >And in your office is a young, greenish boy

                                            >Your sister, Vice-Principal Luna is standing behind him, a pained expression on her face

                                            So, Mr Anonymous. Would you mind explaining why you are here this morning?

                                            >He clears his throat, and begins picking at his fingernails

                                            >"Well, today is my lady love's birthday, so I decided I should do something special for her."

                                            >Ah, young love. You had so many boys after you when you went to high school, all doing foolish things to try and get your attention.

                                            >"So, I built a papier-mache statue to show just how much I care about her, an-"

                                            >Luna doubles over and begins laugh

                                            >"AND THEN-HAH- IT FELL OVER ONTO YOUR CAR AND EXPLODED"

                                            Yes, I'm sure she'll still enjoy any gift you gi-...exploded?

                                            >Luna throws open your blinds, showing the school janitors struggling to put out a flaming green civic in the faculty lot.

                                            >Next to it is what you believe to be a large statue of your sister as Aphrodite

                                            >It too is on fire

                                            >"AHAHAHAHA, I TELL YOU T-TIME AND AGAIN, NOTAHAHA"

                                            >Luna falls to the ground laughing, not even trying to speak anymore

                                            >Anonymous meanwhile is crossing something out in a small notebook and mumbling

                                            >"So the Lunaphrodite is a no go...I knew I should have gone with the ice cream cake!"

                                            >Back in the faculty lot, the civic has been put out

                                            >You see firetrucks pull into the lot to put out the statue, smacking Anonymous's civic into your car on their way in

                                            >Luna is gasping for air as she continues laughing

                                            >"AH MY SIDES AAHAHA"

                                            >You sigh and reach for the emergency whisky in your desk

                                            >This is going to be a long day