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Misc. One Shots [Any and All Threads; Always Updating.]

By Greggums
Created: 2021-10-24 10:24:01
Expiry: Never

  1. Originally Collected March 10th, 2018
  2.  
  3. From the various depths of /mlp/, expect a variety of shit from me in here
  4. Literal shit, even
  5. -----------------------------------------------
  6. Sunset Shimmer 3/2/18
  7. This one was just because I was being a dick to a friend of mine. Love you, buddy.
  8.  
  9. >Be Shin
  10. >You had a nightmare again. A ghost with a mean stick tried to hurt you
  11. >You start crying in the dark, but then a light fills the room
  12. >It's Anonymous, and the ghost runs from your mind when he hugs you
  13. >He's been living with you for a long time now
  14. >Every morning he makes your favortie breakfast and says he still loves you
  15. >And then he helps you get dressed to go around the town
  16. >He pushes you around in your wheelchair to meet new friends every day
  17. >You want to walk, but he tells you that pretty girls don't need to
  18. >It makes your face warm when he says that
  19. >Anonymous's friends are nice, and they always seem to know your name
  20. >Sometimes you feel that you've seen them before, but you can't remember why
  21. >But Anonymous is nice too, and always makes sure to introduce you to them
  22. >Anonymous is such a wonderful guy
  23. >Sometimes, at home, you can see him reading a picture book and crying
  24. >It's full of his friends he introduced you to today, and a lot of people you don't remember
  25. >He's looking at an orange girl with fire for hair
  26. >Did she hurt Anon?
  27. >Anon is too nice a person to be hurt by people
  28. >You hug him to make his hurt go away
  29. >But he just cries more
  30. --------------------------------------
  31. Flutterrape 3/10
  32. "More comfy fee fees please"
  33. Man, do I suck at staying on topic. Also, who'd have thunk the idea of undead Fluttershy had been done before? Certainly not me.
  34.  
  35. >Day Comfy in Equestria
  36. >Be Anon
  37. >After a long day of work and a quick snack run, you're heading home to hang out with your...
  38. >Former molester?
  39. >Girlfriend?
  40. >Is Fluttershy your girlfriend?
  41. >It's more accurate to say she squats in your home, and also squats there too
  42. >Plus you felt bad after accidentally punting her into the woodchipper that one time, so it's not like you have a problem with her staying
  43. >So yeah, maybe she is kinda your girlfriend
  44. >Anyway, you open the door and step inside, kicking off your shoes
  45. >The house is silent
  46. >Grocery bags in tow, you make your way towards the kitchen
  47. Hey, ButterSty! I got chips and beer! Ready to get your ass whooped at Mario Kart?!
  48. >Entering the kitchen, you see Fluttershy swinging by her neck
  49. >A rope goes from below her chin to the rafters
  50. >A note rests on the table, adressed to you
  51. Dangit, that was my good rope.
  52. >With a sigh, you grab a knife and cut her down
  53. >She hits the floor with a thud, then is still
  54. >Cracking open one of the beers, you poke a toe into her stomach
  55. >"GAAASP"
  56. >She coughs and wheezes as color returns to her face
  57. Really dude?
  58. >"Did you at least read my note?", she croaks
  59. You know, most folks would use immortality for something useful...
  60. >"Yeah well most folks aren't immortal, now read it please."
  61. >You roll your eyes and grab the paper from the table
  62. >The note reads "Is hanging out your fetish?"
  63. >You laugh
  64. No, but you're close. Now go set up the Wii so I can beat you again.
  65. >"Again? In your dreams, shitbird. Last week was a fluke and you know it."
  66. >She grabs the snacks and heads to the living room
  67. >You go to take another sip of beer
  68. Love you too.
  69. ----------------------------------------
  70. Flutterrape 3/12/18
  71. >Anon gets a cutiemark. It's of Fluttershy.
  72. Tried to do a full dialogue piece, but it proved too confusing to me.
  73.  
  74. >*Ding Dong
  75. >"Just a minute!"
  76. >A light purple pony answers the door
  77. Are you Fleshlight Rimmer?
  78. >"No, I'm Starlight Glimmer."
  79. Perfect! Even better!
  80. >You push your way inside and close the door behind you
  81. I need you to blast my ass.
  82. >"I'm sorry, what?"
  83. Don't play coy, Twilight told me you once assblasted a whole village of people and they kept lining up for more and now I need you to do me a solid.
  84. >Fullbright looks horrified
  85. >"You mean erasing cutie marks?"
  86. Yes, that too! I don't like my tramp stamp and I want it gone immediately
  87. >Just baring your ass, you give Tenpint a view of your mark
  88. >"GROSS PULL YOUR PANTS U-why is it of Fluttershy?"
  89. Beats me, but I need it gonezo. Now.
  90. >"Look, Anon, I don't take away cutie marks anymore.
  91. No, you don't understand, I NEED it gone.
  92. >"How did you get it anyway? I thought only ponies and zebras can have cutie marks..."
  93. >You sit your ass on the sofa
  94. Well here's how it happened; it was this morning. I was eating a donut when Fluttershy showed up to give me a-why are you smiling?
  95. >"Aww, could it be your talent is loving your marefriend?"
  96. Tenpint if you know whats good for you, you won't say that again. Now, she shows up to give me a fetish guess; this time it was eels, now-
  97. >The purple horse raises her hoof
  98. >"Fetish guess? Eels?"
  99. Yeah, I guess she thinks they're phallic or sexy or something. Now, I turn her round, and cunt punt her as hard as I can like I usually do. She turned into a little twinkle in the sky, and then her dumbass showed up on my dumbass.
  100. >Starlight seems mad
  101. >"Cunt punt?"
  102. It's exactly what it sounds like.
  103. >"Anon, I think it would be better if you learned to live with you-"
  104. >A loud crash is heard as a small object plummets through the cieling
  105. >It's Fluttershy
  106. >"LET GO OF MY MAN, YOU HOOORSE!"
  107. >Fluttershy launches herself at you and Glimmer, beating and raping the both of you in a frenzy
  108. >She finally leaves after an hour
  109. >"So Anon, you wanted an assblasting?"
  110. Try to get my good side.
  111. -------------------------------------------------------------
  112. Flutterrape 3/13/18
  113. A brief poem, with awkward meter
  114.  
  115. >Poetry was the Equestrian Day
  116. >Fluttershy beamed in her usual way
  117. >For today she would win the fair Anon's heart
  118. >And on his front door, her cheeks she did part
  119. >Oh Anon, she cried, are farts your fetish?
  120. >Because I shall let a real beefer rip!
  121. >Anon yelled from the window, so full of dismay,
  122. GET AWAY YOU DUMB HORSE, FARTS ARE SO GAY!
  123. >But too late he called, and her ass summoned thunder
  124. >That broke down the walls, and tore the whole house asunder
  125. >Anon leaped from the window, the glass cut his legs,
  126. >But he couldn't care, for his land smelled like eggs
  127. >Grabbing the pony, whose ass smelled so vile,
  128. I think I'll make this worth my while.
  129. >He broke his foot punting her straight to the moon
  130. >But at least he wasn't balls deep in her poon
  131. -----------------------
  132. Flutterrape 3/16/18
  133. It's a Holiday in Equestria
  134.  
  135. >Holiday in Equestria
  136. >Be Anon
  137. >Before you came here, Ponies only had about 3 days of the year for holidays
  138. >You tried and failed to get them to appreciate Spring Break, Cinco De Mayo, and Casual Friday
  139. >They did warm up to Easter and St. Patricks Day though
  140. >And today was Easter, or as the ponies now called it. Egg Day
  141. >You were in charge of hiding the eggs around town for the fillies, colts, and Pinkie Pie to find later
  142. Now where should I hide this one.....
  143. >It was your last egg
  144. >Every other spot in town you could think of, you had filled with an egg
  145. >Trees? Egg
  146. >Mayor's Office? Egg
  147. >Mailboxes? Egg
  148. >The uncomfortable gap in intimacy between Mr and Mrs Cake? Egg
  149. >"I k-know where you could hide something more than your egg~~", a voice whispered behind you
  150. >Oh great
  151. >It was Fluttershy, dressed as a baby cupid
  152. Fluttershy, what are you doing?
  153. >"I'm t-trying to win your heart, silly. It's Hearts and Hooves day."
  154. >Memories resurface of Hearts and Hooves day, where she dressed as a Windigo to freeze your heart into loving her
  155. >You groan
  156. It's Easter, Shy. H&H was two months ago.
  157. >Her eyes close in thought as realization hits her
  158. >Then she opens them, half-lidded
  159. >She gets closer, awkwardly trailing her arrow along your pants
  160. >"I-it's never to late for l-love Anon.", she says as leans in for a very open-mouthed kiss
  161. >You pop your last egg into her mouth
  162. Yes it is.
  163. >You walk away, leaving her to suck an egg
  164. >Fucking Fluttershy
  165. -----------------------
  166. Flutterrape
  167. 3/19/18
  168. A quick story about an Anonymous who showed up in Equestria a little while before the Anons we've come to know and love.
  169.  
  170. >Pillage
  171. >The only thought that has been on your mind since you entered this gods-forsaken world
  172. >Was to pillage
  173. >You were a Viking, it was an almost sacred duty to rape and pillage the weaker. To force them through the fire to burn out the weak.
  174. >But these damned ponies
  175. >These agents of the giants
  176. >Any attempt you made to strengthen them did nothing
  177. >Damned if you would rape them though. Despite the potential you felt in them, they'd probably kill themselves from grief.
  178. >The only one who seemed to take your lessons to heart was the yellow one
  179. >Knock knock
  180. >Speaking of, here she is
  181. GUD MORNING, FLUBBERSTEIN.
  182. >"I-it's Fluttershy, Mr. Anon."
  183. >That resilience of hers was admirable
  184. >If only she were human
  185. SO, WHY HAVE YOU COME TODAY?
  186. >"I-I have come for your hot monkey dick."
  187. >You raise an eyebrow
  188. >"If that's okay with you."
  189. HAHAHAHA!
  190. >Oh, this mare. She could be a fine Viking if she tried
  191. LITTLE FOOL, NO MAN WOULD HAVE THAT. YOU MUST BE STRONG. UNWAVERING. FIND THEIR WEAKNESS AND EXPLOIT IT.
  192. >She furrows her brow in thought
  193. >"Like a fetish?"
  194. >Fetish?
  195. >Ah, those little religious objects that the weaklings would have back home.
  196. >Faith was always tricky to break, but she could pull it off with her soft demeanor
  197. YES. FIND THE FETISH, BUTTER CRIME. MAKE THEM BEND BEFORE YOU WITH BROKEN SPIRIT.
  198. NOW BE GONE FROM ME.
  199. >You kick her away from your shack
  200. >What a good horse
  201. ------------------
  202. Flutterrape
  203. 3/27/18
  204. How in the fuck do you write about a rock anyways
  205.  
  206. >Be 2000-Year-Old Magnesium Rich Basalt
  207. >Or, as your friends call you; Boulder
  208. >You're sitting on a bench outside your home
  209. >The sun by the cave is warm as it bathes you in its light
  210. >It's the best.
  211. >"Boulder."
  212. >And that's the other light of your life: your pet mare, Maud
  213. >Other rocks told you she was creepy
  214. >That she couldn't learn tricks because ponies can't talk with rocks
  215. >But you felt a strong bond from the moment you laid isotopes on her
  216. >"Boulder, where are you."
  217. >You can see Maud wandering around by the cave mouth
  218. >You chuckle
  219. >She didn't seem to notice you were on the bench behind her!
  220. >But she's coming closer to the bench, so she must have realised you were here
  221. >"Where did I last see Boulder at.", she muses as she turns around
  222. Maud! I'm right here you fo-oh my!
  223. >Her mauve panties are basically staring you in the face
  224. >They're barely covering her generous curves, and they highlight her deep cleavage...
  225. No! She is your pet! You can't be having such dirty thoughts about your-
  226. Aaaand she's starting to sit down
  227. >"Where are you, Boulder."
  228. >This is a joke, right? Haha...heh..
  229. >There's a swish as her tail wraps around behind you
  230. >THIS ISN'T A JOKE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW YOU'RE THERE
  231. "Here! Here! I'm heMPPH!"
  232. >Your screams are muffled as her softness wraps around you
  233. >Small strands of fur peek through the fabric and tickle your edges
  234. >She's much colder than the sun is, but her body heat is making you feel ten times hotter than the sun ever did
  235. >You know it's wrong to feel this way, but it just feels so good.
  236. >You can faintly feel her heartbeat through her rear, which is deceptively firm for being so large
  237. >You can feel a tingling in your groyne
  238. >Any longer of this and you'll metamorphize
  239. >"Oh, there you are Boulder. I'm sorry."
  240. >She stands up, and you suck in a deep breath as she sets you in her hoof
  241. So it was all just an accident, then. Whew!
  242. >"Yes. An accident."
  243. >What
  244. >With a wink and a smile, she tucks you into her dress pocket
  245. ----------------------
  246. Flutterrape
  247. 3/30/18
  248. It's tough here but it's life
  249.  
  250. >'Nother Holiday in Equestria
  251. >Be Anon
  252. >Today, next to Christmas, was one of the few Holidays you couldn't stand on Earth
  253. >April Fool's Day
  254. >Or as the ponies called it, "April Foal's Day"
  255. >Or as Fluttershy called it, "Raperil Fool's Day"
  256. >She used to call it "Raperil Foal's Day", but the letter about being on the register got her to change her mind
  257. >But today wasn't about Fluttershy, oh no
  258. >There was a more terrifying horse you had to keep an eye out for today
  259. >Pinkie "Panko" Pie
  260. >You haven't left bed since waking up
  261. >She's out there somewhere, watching
  262. >"Why be out there when I can be right here?"
  263. GAH!
  264. >You smack at the voice, and something plush goes flying across the room
  265. >"APRIL FOAL'S!"
  266. >She's here
  267. >Quietly, you grab your knife from under your pillow and slip on your moist tactical slippers
  268. >Wait
  269. >Looking down, you see your feet in Pinkie Pie's mouth
  270. >"APRIL FOAL'SH!"
  271. DAMNIT!
  272. >You kick her away, and she goes tumbling down the stairs by the sound of things
  273. >Perfect
  274. >You spring up and lock the door to your room, and move your dresser to block it
  275. >"Need a hoof?"
  276. Sure, thanks Pinkie PiAAAAHHH!
  277. >You run into the bathroom, and lock the door
  278. >"APRIL FOAL'S!" says a muffled voice behind the door
  279. >Then you sit in the tub
  280. There's no way she could have come in here, I'm safe. I'm sa-
  281. >A pink curl of hair pokes out of your drain
  282. Nononono
  283. >The rest of Pinkie's head squelches out after it
  284. >"Hiya Nonny! You have a LOT of limescale buildup!"
  285. NONONO
  286. >Her upper body pops as joints relocate themselves outside of your plumbing
  287. >You cry silently as Pinkie finally worms her way out of the pipes
  288. ----------------------
  289. Flutterrape
  290. 4/5/2018
  291. A little /bump/
  292.  
  293. >"Meow"
  294. >Maud stretches herself across your table, pushing your cereal onto the floor
  295. What the fuck, Maud!
  296. >"Meow"
  297. >You go to grab some paper towels and clean up
  298. >But Maud weaves between your legs as you go
  299. >And now you're on the floor in the cereal milk
  300. >"Meow"
  301. Maud cut the shit already!
  302. >Sitting up, Maud helps you stand
  303. >"So, cat-ponies are not your fetish?"
  304. >You shake your head
  305. Absolutely not.
  306. >"Okay then."
  307. >Walking to your coat closet, she opens the door and pulls Mud Briar out from inside
  308. >"And you?"
  309. >He coughs a small dust cloud up
  310. >"While I enjoyed you forcing me into the closet, I can say with certainty that cuckoldry is not my fetish."
  311. >Oh for fuck's sake
  312. GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!
  313. >"Okay. Goodbye, Anon"
  314. >Maud and Mud Briar open your door and head out
  315. >You slam the door behind them
  316. This breakfast was a catastrophe.
  317. [spoiler]>"Bazinga."__[/spoiler]
  318. >Fucking Maud
  319. ______
  320. Flutterrape
  321. 4/29/2018
  322. Some dude in an /x/ discord pinged me to look at a video of a fishjob. He pinged me four times. Fuck you, Seraph.
  323.  
  324. >Be Anonymous
  325. >After a long day of work, it's time to hit the hay and go to bed
  326. >Used toothpaste splats into the sink
  327. >A big poo plops into the toilet
  328. >Blankets rustle as you slide into your comfy bed
  329. >And your eyes burn as you pull out your phone and check Eris
  330. >Yes, Twilight somehow reverse-engineered a messaging system from an app on your phone
  331. >It's currently in a closed beta: only yourself, plus certain friends and family of the girls have access to it
  332. >Mostly though, you just use it to send human memes to the girls
  333. >Their confusion give you happy dreams
  334. >Opening the app, the first thing to greet your eye is a message from Fluttershy
  335. >It's a video of a young stallion standing in a lake, a fish suspended in the water near his cock
  336. [Kindness: Are fishjobs your fetish, @Anon?
  337. Lolno
  338. >You ignore the video and head to your server list, and click on "Crystal Castle Chat"
  339. >But nothing changes
  340. Sh-she didn't...
  341. >Closing the list, however, only confirms your suspicion
  342. >A small blue banner that previously went unnoticed by you reads "100+ New Messages"
  343. >Fluttershy had sent everyone a video of some rando pony being sucked off by what you assume is a kind of carp
  344. >And, naturally, all the girls are yelling at you over it for some reason
  345. [FriendlyMagic: ANONYMOUS PLEASE DELETE THIS NOW
  346. [AppleSlapper: Darned Scalies
  347. [ARarityByAnyOtherName: I know that lake! I sold my first hat there!
  348. [BiggestMacintosh: I refuse to participate in this test program any longer.
  349. [PartyPony: I know that lake too! I found Gummy there!
  350. [renbowfast: Pinkie, Rarity. Please just stop.
  351. {BiggestMacintosh has left the server!
  352. [FriendlyMagic: ANONYMOUS I AM USING THE CAPITAL LOCKING BUTTON PLEASE DELETE THIS BEFORE ANYPONY ELSE HAS TO SEE IT
  353. >Feeling some pity for everyone, you decide to delete the image for Fluttershy
  354. >Until you get to the most recent message
  355. [SwagginDragon: Twilight why my peepee hard
  356. {Anon pinned a message to this channel. See all the pins.
  357. >Then you go to sleep
  358. -----------------------------------
  359. Flutterrape
  360. 5/09/2018
  361. Seriously Miguel shut the fuck up
  362.  
  363. >You don't know how she did it
  364. >But somehow, BananaHush convinced you to go on a date with her
  365. >And, even more surprisingly, she was actually fairly composed during dinner!
  366. >No lewd jokes about breadsticks, or trying to pinch your ass when you had to use the restroom
  367. >She could even carry a conversation!
  368. >A normal, non-sexual one!
  369. >She was so charming, in fact, that you agreed to keep the date going and head to the movies
  370. >Where you currently are walking from the snack bar to your seats
  371. So Fluttershy, you excited for the movie?
  372. >She nods furiously, dropping some pieces of popcorn
  373. >"Oh yes! I've heard so many good things about it that I just can't wait!"
  374. >Her enthusiasm is getting you pumped up a bit for it, too
  375. >It's some popcorn flick about a young stallion saving his magical realm through the power of misplaced nostalgia, or some shit
  376. >But damn if you aren't worked up for it!
  377. >You and Fluttershy take your seats in the middle of the back row, the best seats
  378. >And the movie begins
  379. ...
  380. ["But, Horsulon, the next egg-key!"]
  381. ["Don't worry, Espurr3lda, I-"]
  382. >"Wow Anon did you see that?", Fluttershy mumbles at you, distracting you from the film
  383. Mhmm. Yep.
  384. >This is the tenth time she's done this in the past half-hour
  385. >And she always does it right when something important happens!
  386. >The scene changes to a fast-paced space mecha race battle
  387. >Robots punchin robots lifts your spirits a bit
  388. >"Which one would you ride? I'd be in Dangum."
  389. >And just like that, they're down again
  390. >So you nod, mindlessly
  391. >You do so through the rest of the film, and on the way home too
  392. >Until she asks you inside for some coffee
  393. >To which you respond with a swift kick to the crotch
  394. >After all that gabbing during the movie, there's no way you'll be
  395. >Fucking Fluttershy
  396. -------------------------------------------------------------------
  397. Flutterrape
  398. 6/01/2018
  399. >This filly teams up with Fluttershy to finally get skewered by that sweet ooh ooh ahh ahh penis. How do you combat their sinister plan Flutterrape, and how will one drink sipping dolphin step up to make a difference?
  400. >Wouldn't need to do anything, the filly will come up with an absolutely unbeatable plan but Fluttershy will screw it up through sheer incompetence.
  401.  
  402. Shit I forgot about the dolphin
  403.  
  404. ...and that Fluttershy, is how you can finally get into the hooman's pants.
  405. >The older mare's face is a bright shade of red as she looks up from her desk
  406. >"A-are you sure this will w-work, Cozy Glow?"
  407. You have my absolute guarantee, Miss Shy.
  408. >She swallows the lump in her throat, and fans herself with your pamphlet
  409. >"H-how can I thank-"
  410. >You wave your hoof
  411. Just let me watch when it happens. Seeing a plan come together gets me SO hot, you wouldn't believe it.
  412. -
  413. >You peer through binoculars from the bushes as Fluttershy makes her way up to Anon's door with the picnic supplies you put together for her.
  414. >Miss Rarity did her makeup EXACTLY how you wanted.
  415. >It makes you wet just thinking about how well this is going.
  416. All she has to do now is just follow the script...
  417. >She knocks, each barely audible tap sending a shiver down your spine.
  418. Mmmm...
  419. >Your hoof traces its way down to your nethers.
  420. >The hooman opens up the door, and instantly does a double-take
  421. >"H-hey Shy. You look nice today."
  422. >Fluttershy freezes at the compliment
  423. >"H-h-hi A-A-a-aaa-a",she stutters
  424. C'mon....
  425. >"ARE PICNICS YOUR FETISH?"
  426. >She rips the sub sandwich out of the picnic basket and tries ramming it down her throat, crying as she gags.
  427. >The hooman looks extremely uncomfortable.
  428. >"Uh.."
  429. You bitch! I was almost there!
  430. >You burst out of the bushes and hurl the binoculars at her head.
  431. FUCK YOU, FLUTTERSHY!
  432. >Fluttershy goes sprawling across the porch, half a sandwich dangling from her throat
  433. >The hooman grabs the rest of the picnic basket and quickly closes his door.
  434. I BETTER STILL GET EXTRA CREDIT FOR THIS!
  435. -------------------------------------------------------------
  436. 6/06/2018
  437. Flutterrape
  438.  
  439. Don't forget to pack a wife
  440.  
  441. >Day Yet Another Holiday in Equestria
  442. >You are Anon
  443. >All is well for the most part
  444. >You've finally gotten over the time Pinkie crawled through your plumbing like a sewer rat made of Gak
  445. >And Mother's Day went off without any attempts on your genitalia
  446. >All is well in your li-
  447. >HWAP-HWAP-HWAP
  448. What the fuck?
  449. >Sounds like somebody slapping a salami against your door
  450. >You go up to the door and peer out the peephole
  451. >It's Applejack, the friendly farm horse
  452. >You open the door
  453. Hey, AJ! What brings you around?
  454. >"Oh, nothin' much, Anon. Ah just came to wish ya Happy Mommies Day!"
  455. Aw, well thawait...
  456. >Actually looking past her hat, you notice she's dressed up like some stereotypical 60's mom:
  457. >Big hair, tight sweater, a pearl necklace, and a rather musky natural perfume.
  458. >Gotta shut her down, quick.
  459. Well, I'm sorry AJ, but Mother's Day was last month. Maybe next year, huh?
  460. >You start to go back inside
  461. >But she puts her hoof in the way when you shut the door
  462. >"Ah know, and Ah thought ahead in case you were more of a 'Daddie's Day' kind of stallion."
  463. What the hell is that supposed to mean?
  464. >You're knocked to the floor as the door is forced open
  465. >AJ leaps onto you and pins you before you can get up.
  466. >You look through her legs to see if anyone is passing by that can help you
  467. >A single eye stares back at you in response
  468. >The last things you remember before you blackout is the door being whipped shut by AJ's tail
  469. >And a meaty HWAP against her belly
  470. -----------------------------------------------------------------
  471. Flutterrape
  472. 6/08/2018
  473. It's a well-known fact that with a clipboard, you can do anything.
  474.  
  475. >Day of Reckoning in Equestria
  476. >Be Anonymous
  477. >And you've had it
  478. >All these rape attempts
  479. >All these successful rapes
  480. >All those long lines at the supermarket
  481. >Enough is Enough
  482. >KNOCK-KNOCK-KNOCK
  483. Perfect timing!
  484. >As you walk to the door to meet your attacker, you grab your tool from the closet
  485. >Its smooth metal and sturdy construction calms you
  486. >Its use was a skill you had mastered back on Earth
  487. >And now, you would use it to solve all of your problems in Equestria
  488. >You open the door, keeping your weapon behind your back
  489. >It's Applejack
  490. >"Howdy Anon! I'm here to fuck you now!"
  491. >You smirk
  492. Hello Applejack! That sounds great, but first...
  493. >You draw your weapon from behind and grab your sidearm from beside your ear
  494. Are you registered to vote?
  495. >The joy leaves her eyes as you tap your pen against the clipboard
  496. >"Uh well, yes I am, but I thought-"
  497. Oh, good!
  498. >A practiced, cloying smile creeps onto your face
  499. Then would you have a minute to sign this petition for affordable housing?
  500. >AJ's eyes dart about nervously, and she shuffles in place
  501. >"Uh, I..uh,,.well would you look at that!"
  502. >She points at something in your house, then runs off
  503. >Your saccharine look is replaced by one of devious joy
  504. >Your skills are just as sharp as ever
  505. >You clip your pen to the clipboard and lock your door
  506. >Then you head into town
  507. >These ponies won't even know what fucking hit them
  508. ------------------------------------------------
  509. Flutterrape
  510. 7/08/18
  511. Context: Anonymous 07/08/18(Sun)19:30:53 No.32619873 "I'm drowning in my own misery."
  512.  
  513. >"So is that a no, then?"
  514. >You stare at the yellow horse, who is balancing a tray of corn chips and lubricant bottles on her snout
  515. Mhmm.
  516. >You grunt as you slam the door in her face. Through the wood, you can hear the tray clatter as it falls to the ground
  517. >As you turn and walk upstairs, you reflect on how long you've been in this technicolor dreamcoat of a hell
  518. >In particular, you try to remember the last time you felt happy in Ponyville
  519. >Nothing comes to mind though
  520. >Kicking your shoes off to the underneath of your bed, you pull back your sheets to let sleep embrace you
  521. Fluttershy, why are you in my bed?
  522. >The yellow devil must have slipped in while you were walking upstairs
  523. >Her horsehair and feathers were crowding the area around her
  524. >"W-well you seemed sad, so I thought you m-might want a cuddle buddy."
  525. I already to-
  526. >She shakes her head
  527. >"I won't do anything naughty. P-promise"
  528. >You heave a sigh, since your couch is equally as uncomfortable as sharing a bed with a serial molester
  529. >Only it's further away than your bed is
  530. >Reluctantly, you get into bed and draw the horse close to you
  531. >Fluttershy lets out a small "Eep" as you bury your head in her mane to block out the daylight
  532. >She smells like hay, corn chips, and KY jelly
  533. >And to be honest, you don't mind too much
  534. >It could be worse
  535. -----------------------------------------------------------------
  536. Flutterrape
  537. 7/17/18
  538. "Im not creative enough for content"
  539. It really isn't that hard to make a story, dude. I say that as the objective least creative FR Author.
  540.  
  541. >It has been three years since you escaped the hell that was Ponyville
  542. >Twilight, thanks to all of her egghead studying, found out that their world was soon to end
  543. >Something about seasons and generations
  544. >Fluttershy wanted, in fact she was very insistent on, you staying around and going down with the proverbial ship
  545. >But after some stern talking-to and quite a lot of rope, she agreed to let Twilight send you back to Earth
  546. >It was...it was hard for everyone to see you go
  547. >Not that coming back home made things any easier for you
  548. >Your parents had you declared dead about a year after your disappearance, and as you found it, it's pretty hard to prove you're alive after ten years of being dead
  549. >Luckily though, while you still are legally dead, your parents know you're alive, and you even have a cash-only business as a handyman to keep yourself afloat
  550. >It does mean living out of a van by beach and visiting your parents every few days for laundry, but it's better than nothing
  551. >And certainly better than being sexually assaulted by horses
  552. >At the end of a particularly trying day resurfacing your client's floor for the third time this month, you stagger your way back to your beachside villa
  553. >You set a six-pack on the ground so that you don't drop them when you grab your keys
  554. >You turn the key in the lock, and open the door, throwing your jerky inside as you bend down to pick up your beer
  555. >"Eep! Ouch..."
  556. >You freeze. It can't be. Not her.
  557. >Picking yourself back up, you see Fluttershy inside your van, wearing green socks and rubbing at her snout where you assume the jerky hit her
  558. >Your beer hisses and sprays as you drop it back onto the asphalt
  559. >"Oh no, Anon! You dropped your drinks! Here, let me get them for you."
  560. >You hold an arm out to stop her before she gets outside.
  561. >She's warm. Soft. Solid.
  562. >You can feel your mouth twitching between a smile and a frown
  563. >"Anon, are you okay?"
  564. >Without a word, you grab her in your arms and hug her tightly
  565. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------
  566. Flutterrape
  567. 7/28/18
  568. Right guard will not help you here
  569.  
  570. >Day So many Holidays in Equestria
  571. >You are Anonymous
  572. >And you are sitting on an ice pack, thumbing through a medical dictionary
  573. >AJ wasn't exactly gentle during the Father's Day celebrations, and you haven't been walking right since
  574. >Though that's not why you're looking in the med book today
  575. Lethargy...depression...loss of appetite and yellowish eyes. God dammit.
  576. >Yup
  577. >You've Hepatitis C
  578. >Maybe. You're not a fucking doctor
  579. >That being said, you should probably go see one though
  580. >Gently easing off your bruised bum, you turn off the computer and head to the door
  581. >You grab the handle and pull open the door to see Rainbow Dash on your porch
  582. >"Hey Anon, how's it hanging?"
  583. >You shrug and cough
  584. Not too well. I think I caught a bug from AJ when she was r ...
  585. >Your hand drifts unconsciously towards your tender rump
  586. ...oughhousing with me a while back. Hepatitis, I think. Could be contagious.
  587. >You pretend to cough violently
  588. >Rainbow Dash is staring a hole through you
  589. I was just on my way to the doctor, actually.
  590. >It's unsettling, to say the least
  591. So uh, could you maybe mo-
  592. >"Hey Anon, do you know what day it is today?"
  593. Saturday?
  594. >"N-duh, of course it's Saturday. But did you also know it's World Hepatitis Day?"
  595. Really? Huh, talk about a coi_HRK!
  596. >The wind is forced out of your chest as Rainbow tackles you to the floor
  597. >The blast of air from her wings closes your door at the same time your back hits the ground
  598. >As she begins fumbling with your belt, you wheeze out a pathetic
  599. Why?
  600. >She stops for a moment and looks at you, then shrugs
  601. >"Bug-catching is my fetish. You have no one to blame here but your own weak immune system, Anon."
  602. >You quietly sob as you feel the open air on your legs
  603. >Fucking World Health Organization
  604. ------------------------
  605. Flutterrape
  606. 9/03/18
  607. Brace yourself my dear
  608.  
  609. >Monday in Equestria
  610. >You shuffle to Twilight's castle, feeling absolutely miserable
  611. >These past few months have been hell after hell after hell
  612. >But maybe, just maybe, Twilight will help you out
  613.  
  614. >"I'm sorry Anon, but that's absolutely absurd!"
  615. >So much for that
  616. And what's so absurd about it?!
  617. >"This delusion you have that my-OUR friends are committing holiday-themed sexual assaults on you!"
  618. >You cough and crouch down
  619. Quiet! Rarity could be here at any moment!
  620. >Twilight rolls her eyes at you
  621. >"Oh yes, I'm certain she's just fashionably late for...what did you say it was? National Toasted Marshmallow Day?"
  622. It's the only other one that makes sense! Fashion Day was back in April!
  623. >Twilight sighs and rests a hoof on your shoulder.
  624. >"Anon, neither of those are real holidays. When's the last time you slept?"
  625. >The pure concern in her gaze calms you down slightly
  626. Last Thursday, I think.
  627. >Her horn glows a slight purple
  628. >"I'm going to send you home to bed, okay Anon?"
  629. >You sigh
  630. Yes. I need all the energy I can to fight her off.
  631. >She smiles slightly
  632. >"Okay, Mr. Paranoid."
  633. >With a pop and a crackle, you're snapped back to your bedroom
  634. >Shoes get kicked under the desk, and your sweats go straight to the floor
  635. >You sit down on the edge of the bed, your body tired and begging for sleep
  636. >You put your hands to the mattress to readjust and lay down, but you can't pull yourself off the bed
  637. >Your hands aren't coming off either
  638. >And that's when the smell hits you
  639. Toasted marshmallows....
  640. >"Sorry I'm late Darling, but you would not BELIEVE how long it takes to get one's hair ready when you turn yourself into sticky candy."
  641. >You try to scream, but a marshmallowy tentacle fills your mouth before any sound can come out
  642. >Fuck these made-up holidays
  643. --------------
  644. Literal Shit
  645. 10/27/18
  646. I dun know anymore
  647.  
  648. >"Anonymous."
  649. Yes, Tirek?
  650. >"This is a penis. Your penis."
  651. Uh...
  652. >Quick! Have to think up an excuse!
  653. >Not every day a demonic goatman agrees to go down on you, after all.
  654. Humans actually don't have penises, Tirek. Just think of how weird it looks compared to your penis. It's a horn, bro.
  655. >Tirek squints and shrugs, and opens his mouth, moving southward again.
  656. Ohh yeah..
  657. >You feel his breath on your turgid member.
  658. >"Are you trying to trick me, Anonymous? This 'horn' of yours smells quite a lot like a penis."
  659. >Goddamnit
  660. That's just...a smell it gets. You know how rank things get when it's all sweat and no airflow.
  661. >You feel a claw poke at your scrotum
  662. >"And I assume these aren't testicles?"
  663. N-no! Of course not! Those are my urine balls. Pee is stored there, you know.
  664. >Tirek stares daggers into the depths of your soul
  665. >Your collar is sopping with nervous sweat.
  666. >"Of course. I apologize, human anatomy is strange to me."
  667. >You pat Tirek on the head, then draw your hand along his cheek.
  668. Don't apologize. Just make sure to massage my balls. That helps the magic come out faster.
  669. >Today was a good day.
  670. ----------------------------
  671. Flutterrape
  672. 10/31/18
  673.  
  674. So, you've been to school
  675. For a year or two
  676. And you know you've seen it all
  677. In daddy's car
  678. Thinking you'll go far
  679. Back east your type don't crawl
  680.  
  681. >Starlight Glimmer chuckled as she reclined in the cool darkness of the basement in The Castle of Friendship
  682. >With her magic she produced a flame, and with the flame she lit a small candle, positioning by her front left hoof so that she had a light to read by
  683. >Pinned to the wall in front of her, hidden from the prying eyes of Princess Twilight, was a small ream of paper
  684. >It was spiral bound with a thin metal coil, and each page was decorated on one side with a gridwork, and a thematic picture on the obverse
  685. >A calendar, as could be determined by anyone who happened to lay eyes upon it
  686. >She cooed as she turned the pages, savoring the crisp sound of the laminated sheets as they were flipped from one stack into another, stopping when she had reached the current month: October
  687. >Her horn glowed anew, and from the glow she produced a quill and small bottle of rich black ink
  688. >She inked her quill, tapping it thrice on the lip of the bottle as she had been taught by her father to remove any excess of ink, and wrote two words, a pony's name, in the box at the end of the month
  689. >"And for Twilight Sparkle, International Magic Day." Starlight shuddered slightly as she penned the last letter, drawing the quill to her snout and licking the remaining ink from its surface
  690. >It tasted bitter and dark, reminiscences of a time when a cruel princess with a yet crueler book had made the mistake of creating a creature that could rival her power
  691. >But that was long ago
  692. >She blew gently on the ink to hasten its drying, and smiled as she slowly closed the calendar again, page by page
  693. >Her horn glowed for a third time, and the quill and ink returned from whence they had been called
  694. >Leaning towards her candle, she spoke three words
  695. >"Happy Halloween, Anonymous."
  696. >And with a gentle breath, she snuffed out the flame
  697. ----------------------------------
  698. Flutterrape
  699. 01/28/20
  700.  
  701. I don't know what to class this as. A diary, maybe. Don't worry about it.
  702.  
  703. >Sit
  704. >Chair creaks
  705. >Open bottle
  706. >The tin bottle cap clatters on the floor
  707. >Sip
  708. >A familiar burn in your throat
  709. >You are Anon
  710. >For the last year, you gave up on resisting Fluttershy's advances
  711. >Sip
  712. >Started dating her, buying chocolates, getting dinner, consensual rape
  713. >All the good sappy shit couples do
  714. >She was pretty unlucky with stallions before you
  715. >Not like you were a hit with the ladies yourself
  716. >A mutually beneficial relationship
  717. >Sip
  718. >You haven't seen her for about a month now though
  719. >Really, this should be a good thing
  720. >Not like you enjoyed her company much before you started going out
  721. >Really, you couldn't have cared less if she lived or died
  722. >You only started dating her in the hopes she would mellow out
  723. >Strictly just to keep her bizarre displays of affection from startling the neighbors
  724. >Just to keep the both of you from being alone all the time
  725. >And she drained your savings down to nothing
  726. >So why does it hurt?
  727. >...
  728. >...
  729. >
  730. >.
  731. >
  732. >
  733. >
  734. >
  735. >Bottle's empty
  736. ----------------------------------

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