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Grapefruit Moon

By Greggums
Created: 2021-10-25 19:53:12
Expiry: Never
/flutterrape/princess luna

  1. Originally Published March 1st, 2018
  2.  
  3. >Dawn of the First Day in Equestria
  4. >You are Anonymous
  5. >You're not sure why, but it seems that Princess Luna wants to see your "hot monkey d"
  6. >Probably because she's been coming over every day this week, first thing in the morning, to ask you and anyone within a five-mile radius if she can see it
  7. >Granted, it's a nice change from Flutternutter: Luna has a kind of beauty to her that Shy just doesn't have, on top of being JRHNBR.
  8. >But the thought of a demigod wanting to peep your ween doesn't quite fill you with happy feelings either.
  9. >Plus, Fluttershy didn-
  10. *CRASH*
  11. >...'t break something every time she visited
  12. >Stepping out of your front door, you make a quick round of your house to see where she crashed this time
  13. >And find her hooves poking out from underneath your pile of firewood
  14. "Good morning, Princess. Would you like some help getting up?"
  15. >You can see her ears just barely poke up from under a log.
  16. "GREETINGS ANONYMOUS. I FEAR IN MY HASTE TO ARRIVE THAT I MAY HAVE IMPALED MYSELF ON YOUR WOOD."
  17. >Far in the distance you faintly hear a small yellow horse cry out in anger
  18. >You chuckle to yourself
  19. >Grabbing the Princess by the hoof, you pull her out from under the logs
  20. >Thankfully, she doesn't seem to be injured, but she does look tired as hell
  21. >Like she hasn't slept for about a week
  22. "Are you okay, Princess?" you ask, "You don't look very-"
  23. "NERVOUS? NOT AT ALL. I AM JUST SO EX...INTRIGUED TO WITNESS YOUR HOT MONKEY D THAT I MAY HAVE FORGONE SOME SLEEP"
  24. >Come to think of it, you haven't slept all week yourself, for much the same reason
  25. >To that end, you force a yawn
  26. "I*YAAAAWN*...I'm sorry Princess Luna, I'm just so tired lately that I don't think I'd be a good host to y-
  27. "FEAR NOT," Luna proclaims, assuming a shaky yet unmistakably regal posture.
  28. "FOR WE, BEING GRACIOUS AS WE ARE, SHALL RETURN TO VISIT YOU ONCE YOU HAVE RESTED."
  29. >With that, Luna leaps back into the air, kicking over your wind vane as she heads back to Canterlot
  30. >Fuck
  31.  
  32. >Dawn of the Second Day in Equestria
  33. >You tried getting some sleep after Luna left yesterday, but laid awake in paranoia instead
  34. >After all, she's basically the goddess of dreams, and who knows what she could do to you
  35. >Rolling out of bed, you wearily pour yourself a cup of hot mud
  36. >No literally, Twilight showed you this clay patch in the Everfree Forest that would make coffee piss itself, and now it's all you drink in the morning
  37. >For the past week though, it's all you've taken in, period.
  38. >Dream Goddess can't diddle you if you're awake, right?
  39. >As if on cue, you hear a loud crash, followed by frantic splashing
  40. "Guess I better go say hi," you say as you down your mud and head outside.
  41. >In your backyard, you can see a hole in the cider shed you and AJ built one week
  42. >Stepping inside, you can see two blue forelegs frantically flailing from inside one of the casks
  43. "ANONYMOUS, IS THAT YOU? ASSIST US, FOR WE ARE DROWNING IN YOUR JUICES!"
  44. >A faint, far away sobbing reaches your ears
  45. >Oh how that yellow horse's pain nourishes your tired soul.
  46. >You extend a hand to the Princess and pull her free of her alcoholic prison
  47. >Somehow, she looks even worse than yesterday.
  48. >"Has she really been staying awake this whole time?", you wonder to yourself
  49. >After shaking off most of the cider, Luna turns towards you
  50. "ANONYMOUS! YOU SEEM WELL! WE MUST REQUEST YOU SHOW US YOUR HOT MONK-"
  51. >You make a motion to cunt punt her, an instinct developed from years of dealing with Fluttershy
  52. >It's only when your hands grab her face do you realize what you're about to do.
  53. >Luna's expression quickly turns to one of shock
  54. >Think of something, you faggot!
  55. "There's a tradition first!"
  56. >Smooth.
  57. >You move your hands away from Luna's face, praying she won't destroy your ass
  58. "A TRADITION? I ADORE FOLK TRADITIONS!"
  59. >Luna begins giddily doing a tired hop about the small shed.
  60. "ohthankgod, Yes, a tradition! But I must prepare the materials first. Come back tomorrow, and then you can...see my hot monkey d."
  61. >Almost like an energetic tortoise, Luna sweeps you up in a hug
  62. "THIS IS MOST EXCITING! WE CANNOT WAIT TO SEE IT!"
  63. >As she sets you down, she stares at you for a moment, and you could almost swear you see her blush
  64. "m-MAKE READY THE PREPERATIONS. I SHALL RETURN ON THE MORROW!"
  65. >Luna pushes you onto one of the casks, and breaks down the shed door in her hurry to return to Canterlot
  66. "Well, you've done it now Anon."
  67. >You aren't really sure why you told her to come back tomorrow, or why there was a "tradition" involved in whipping out your dick
  68. >Really, you just weren't sure how much more damage your little house could take
  69. >You set the shed door awkwardly against the frame and head back inside, grabbing as many bits as you can off the counter
  70. >You head towards the market, dreading what punishment will befall you
  71.  
  72. >Dawn of The Final Day in Equestria
  73. >Here you are, running on over a week without sleep, hoping and praying that you won't be killed in a few hours
  74. >The plan came to you when you were at the market, trying to think of a way to keep Luna away from your hot mo-
  75. >You really have to stop saying that, but you are certain that this plan will keep her at bay
  76. >You're pretty sure Celestia would kick your ass for flashing Luna anyway, regardless of the context
  77. >From outside, you can hear a faint flapping, signaling what very well could be your doom
  78. >And then you hear a loud crash, the snapping of branches, and a thud
  79. >...
  80. >...
  81. >You cautiously open up the door to find Princess Luna, out of breath and raggedy
  82. >Past her is the remains of your pet tree, George
  83. "ANONYMOUS, WE HAVE ARRIVE TO VIEW YOUR HOT MONKEY D AS YOU PROMISED."
  84. >Well, here goes nothing.
  85. "Princess, welcome! As, per tradition, I must ask you be dressed comfortably before we begin, like myself"
  86. >You gesture at your "comfy" clothes: a faded shirt and a ratty pair of flannel pj pants
  87. >Luna looks at you, confused.
  88. >Oh god she knows
  89. "BUT I ALREADY AM COMFORTABLE"
  90. >Thank god she doesn't know
  91. "Yes, but you must be more comfortable than that!"
  92. >You hand her a pink beanie with bunny ears on it, which she gingerly places on her horn
  93. "L-LIKE THIS?"
  94. >No, not at all
  95. "Yes! Precisely!"
  96. >You step to the side and wave her into your home, hoping and praying that this works
  97. >Closing the door behind you, you turn and find yourself face to face with Princess Luna
  98. "WELL, ANONYMOUS? IS THIS PART OF THE TRADITION AS WELL?!"
  99. >A loud, almost painful ringing fills your ears
  100. >Does this mare not have an inside voice?
  101. "Actually, you reminded me of a step I almost forgot!"
  102. >You jam a finger in your ear, hoping you can dig out the tinnitus before it takes root
  103. "During the tradition, we must speak silently. Otherwise, we risk offending the...hot monkey gods?"
  104. >Luna stares at you for what feels like an uncomfortably long time before clearing her throat to speak
  105. "Is this better?", she whispers
  106. >You give her a thumbs up
  107. "Excellent., Now, follow me."
  108. >You lead Luna into your living room, where a two massive piles of blankets and pillows rest on the floor
  109. >The stallion at the market was practically kissing your feet after you offered to buy all them
  110. >You gesture towards them, trying to be as mystical as you can
  111. "Please, choose a seat."
  112. >Luna shoots glances back and forth between you and the blankets a few times
  113. >Eventually, her gaze settles on you
  114. >Well, you've lived a long enough life
  115. >You hold your breath, hoping the end will come swiftly
  116. "...May I take the one on the right? I do no wish to offend any of your customs."
  117. >You let out a deep sigh, and stealthily check the back of your pants to make sure you didn't shit yourself
  118. "Of course, Princess. Make yourself as comfortable as possible"
  119. >With your "blessing", Luna heads over to the traditional right-heap of pillows and blankets and nestles herself in
  120. "Okay Anonymous, what is next in the ritual? Is there a blood sacrifice?"
  121. >As you flop down into the other pile of blankets, you fish a remote control out from your pockets
  122. >Damn ponies can use electricity, but they still haven't figured out heating units
  123. >Bullshit.
  124. "Actually Princess, this is the final part of the ritual," you say as you push a button on the remote
  125. >Your t.v. flickers to life, and on it is a rather cheery fellow with an afro and a canvas
  126. "We must watch the hot monkey god paint a portrait."
  127. >...
  128. >The next few minutes go by in a painful silence, with no noise but the gentle *shwffing* and soft conversation coming from the t.v.
  129. >Breaking the tension, you feel a hoof rest on your hand
  130. "Anonymous?"
  131. >Shit.
  132. "Yes Princess Luna?"
  133. >You pause the video, and silence returns to the room.
  134. "This isn't a tradition of yours, is it?"
  135. >You take a deep breath, terrible futures playing out in your head
  136. "N...no."
  137. >Her hoof slowly lifts from the back of your hand
  138. "I see."
  139. >You brace yourself for the cool embrace of death
  140. >But instead, find a warm hoof work its way into your palm
  141. "M-may we continue watching this show with you?"
  142. >Well then
  143. "S-sure"
  144. >Another ten minutes into the episode, and Luna has fallen asleep, her hoof still in your hand
  145. >You weren't expecting the day to end like this when you got out of bed this morning
  146. >Sure, you were planning to solve both your sleep deprivation problems in one go, but not quite like this
  147. >And as you succumb to your own lack of sleep, you find yourself hoping that Luna will visit you again tomorrow morning

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