A DnD Day


                                            >Day of The Quest

                                            >Be Anon the Just, 12th Level Paladin

                                            >With you are your trusted allies: Twileer the Alchemist and Jean de Lune, the Bard

                                            >You stand at the entrance to the Bonecrusher's Wake, home to the creature that has been terrorizing a nearby village

                                            >Small puffs of smoke come from the crack of the mountain which houses this cave

                                            >You roll your shoulders and unsheath your sword

                                            C'mon lads, it seems our enemy isn't expecting us.

                                            >Jean De Lune swaggers into the cave the cave after you

                                            >"I should hope he isn't, I'm still a little sore from the cave bears last week."

                                            >Twileer, shaking and giggling with excitement, brings up the rear as you march into the unknown

                                            1/


                                            >The cave is dark, and you can hear occasional splashes as water drips to the rocky floor

                                            >"Blasted darkness, let us have some light...", Twileer mutters to herself as she slathers a torch with one of her potions

                                            >The torch glows a healthy orange after a moment, lighting up the narrow path

                                            >She walks past Jean and hands you the torch

                                            >"Here. Just try not to smell it if you can, rancid stuff."

                                            Ah, thank you Twileer.

                                            >You take the torch and your group presses forward

                                            >You pass numerous skeletons in armor as you walk, the pathway appearing to widen slightly

                                            >"So, what do you think it is?" Jean chimes in

                                            Think what is?

                                            >"The creature! I think it's a crocodile."

                                            A crocodile? Wait a second-

                                            >You stretch your arms out, and your partners are stopped by your arms

                                            >"Crocs don't live in caves Jean."

                                            Ahem

                                            >"Maybe this one decided he hated the swamp."

                                            AHEM.

                                            >"Did you have a better guess, Ano-Oh."

                                            >Standing before the three of you is a massive gold dragon, tending to a small blaze

                                            2/


                                            >The dragon turns around, and on seeing you it flashes a toothy smile

                                            >"AH, VISITORS.", they grumble, not taking their eyes off the fire

                                            >"SIT, SIT. I SUPPOSE YOU'RE HERE ABOUT THE RAIDS."

                                            >With a snap of their talons, a small table appears, with a spread of buttered bread and assorted dried meats

                                            >Moving away from the blaze, they take a teapot from the fire and pour out four cups, setting them onto the table

                                            >Twileer glares at the meat and bread, looking for any signs of poison

                                            >"Looks safe to me!" She declares before chowing down

                                            >Jean takes a sip of the tea

                                            >Anon you s-

                                            I want to roll to seduce the dragon.

                                            ----

                                            You what?

                                            >A silence takes over the kitchen table

                                            >Fluttershy stares at you, a hint of depraved joy in her eyes

                                            >Twilight and Princess Luna stop munching on their snacks

                                            >"I want to roll to seduce the dragon." She repeats as she begins shaking her die.

                                            No. Out of the question.

                                            3/


                                            >"But why?", Fluttershy asks.

                                            Because it's out of character. You're a paladin, you don't just barge into peoples homes and fuck them. That's Luna's job.

                                            >"That's not fair! You're just upset because he's based on you." Luna pouts

                                            >"Yeah Anon, it's Fluttershy's character, she should be allowed to play him as she sees fit!", Twilight adds. "That's what you told us when we first started playing!"

                                            >You shake your head

                                            >They weren't wrong, but as DM you must be firm

                                            I understand, but this is-

                                            >"It's not out of character.", Fluttershy states as she passes you a piece of paper "Look."

                                            >You take the paper

                                            >It's her character sheet

                                            >Under "Flaws" it reads "Anon's Fetish: Scaled creatures"

                                            >Fuck

                                            >Well, that explains why she was so nice on the Kobolds a few sessions back

                                            >But you have to stay strong.

                                            I'm sorry, Shy, but-

                                            >"I GIVE ANON A CHARISMA POTION." Twilight yells

                                            >"AND WE AID ANON BY PLAYING A SULTRY TUNE." Luna adds

                                            >In unison, Fluttershy and Luna throw down their dice

                                            >Twilight chimes in with how the potion changes Anon's Charisma

                                            >Both got Nat 20, plus Anon's sizable Charisma and Jean's skill with his voice...

                                            >Yeah, this dragon is getting fucked

                                            >The three ponies stare at you, small fires burning behind their eyes

                                            >You are fucked

                                            -but I need to get another rulebook to determine the results. Seducing a dragon is a bit complex.

                                            >The trio cheer as you head to the next room

                                            >They have you dead to rights

                                            >But you have a dark, forbidden ace up your sleeve

                                            4/


                                            >You return with a small book, covered in dust

                                            >You may have to let this happen, but you'll be damn sure they regret it

                                            >You dust off the cover, revealing two scantily clad humans fighting some blue gnomes in a mine

                                            >Consulting the table of contents, you flip to the relevant page

                                            Ah here we are. Everyone hand me your sheets for a second. Twilight, I'm gonna rattle off equations at you, so be ready to solve them

                                            >"Uhh, okay Anon." Twi replies.

                                            >You throw the needlessly complex equations at her, and she hurls the results back at you

                                            >You write one new stat on Fluttershy's character sheet, and two stats on Twilight and Lunas

                                            >To Fluttershy, it simply read "AC", or "AC" and "VC" for the Princesses

                                            >But you knew better

                                            Okay, you say as you grab your d100, now that we're ready...

                                            -------

                                            >Twileer passes you a potion while the dragon places the kettle back into the flames

                                            >You greedily drink it down, handing her back the empty

                                            >Jean de Lune begins crooning a love song from his homeland

                                            >As the potion takes effect, you feel profoundly more charming

                                            >"WHAT IS THAT LOVELY TUNE?" the dragon growls

                                            >You open your mouth, delivering the dragon a honeyed, seductive proposition

                                            Hey bby, u wan sum dock?

                                            5/


                                            >Steam erupts from the dragon's nose, and you can almost swear his eyes turn to hearts

                                            >"OH BABY" the dragon roars, his girthy, bifurcated penis erupting from its sheath

                                            >Seeing this, you start to run

                                            >Twileer and Jean de Lune can only look on in horror

                                            >He pounces upon you, ripping the armor from your body

                                            >Unceremoniously, he flips you onto your stomach and begins prodding your entrance

                                            >With a grunt, he forces his way in, tearing your sphincter in the process

                                            >Blood begins to pour from you as you silently scream into the dirt

                                            >With every thrust, he widens the tear, slowly splitting you as he makes his way deeper

                                            >Your pelvis snaps apart with a loud crack, and your guts spill onto the floor

                                            >The dragon does not seem to pay any mind and continues rubbing against the blood on the floor

                                            >Twileer finally snaps from her daze

                                            >"DIE YOU MONSTER, she yells as she hurls a potion towards the dragon

                                            >It clatters harmlessly off his scales and breaks on the ground below, causing a green flame to engulf your mangled corpse

                                            >"RAGGH", the dragon roars, leaving your body and turning his attention towards Twileer

                                            >He grabs her robe in his teeth, flinging her with enough force to send her flying into the cave wall

                                            >"GAH!" She cries out as she makes contact

                                            >As the dragon advances, she tries to stand

                                            >She gets her trunk off the ground, and strains to move her lower half

                                            >Her eyes go wide when she realizes she cannot move her legs

                                            6/


                                            >With no more care than he showed you, the dragon is quick to mount Twileer

                                            >Thankfully, her body is able to handle the strain, and she tries to crawl away

                                            >But the dragon stops her, planting a claw into her back and causing her to scream in pain

                                            "JEAN! JEAN HELP ME PLEASE!", she cries out between thrusts

                                            >Jean stands frozen by Anon's brutalized, burning body

                                            >The sickly sweet scent of burning flesh fills her nose, Twileer's cries barely registering in her ears

                                            >"Twileer?" she mumbles, looking towards the dragon

                                            >Twileer looks unconscious, but the dragon is still viciously thrusting in

                                            >The sight snaps Jean out of her daze, and she runs to confront the beast

                                            >"HEY! LEAVE HER ALONE!" Jean yells up at the dragon

                                            >He looks down upon Jean, stopping his thrusting for a moment

                                            >He pulls Twileer off of his member and tosses her aside

                                            >In an instant, he has the mortified bard on the ground, and begins to rub his organ fervently against Jean, hungering for a gap in the armor

                                            >With his tips barely inside, he climaxes, covering you in wave after wave of ejaculate.

                                            ----

                                            >Fluttershy looks mortified

                                            >Twilight looks like she is about to puke

                                            >Luna is silent, staring behind you at the fridge

                                            >Excellent

                                            >"T-TH-TH-THAT'S NOT FAIR" Fluttershy breaks the silence as she leaps onto the table

                                            >Her fur is on end, and her feathers puffed out to max

                                            What isn't fair?

                                            >Angrily, yet gingerly to avoid making a mess, she stomps her away to you

                                            >"THAT WAS A FEMALE DRAGON! YOU CHANGED IT ON PURPOSE TO DO THIS!"

                                            >You cross your arms and lean past her to look at Twilight

                                            Hey Twi? Did I ever say it was a female dragon?

                                            >"...no."

                                            Exactly. Now sit down and shut up.

                                            >Deflated, Shy slides down and takes her seat

                                            7/


                                            >Freed from the shackle of his libido the dragon stares around his cave

                                            >"WHAT HAP-"

                                            >Anon's corpse, charred and black, has finally stopped burning

                                            >Twileer's naked and broken form  is draped across a rock

                                            >And below him is Jean de Lune, a mile-long stare peering from beneath the jism

                                            >"I-I'M GONNA BE SICK" the dragon cries

                                            >Gingerly, with the care he had when you first entered his cave, he picks Jean from the floor by her foot

                                            >"TO ASSAULT A G-G-GUEST IN MY HOME! THE SHAME I'VE BROUGHT ON MYSELF! THE TERROR I FORCED YOU TO ENDURE!"

                                            >He snaps his claws, and the skeleton of an owlbear saunters into the chamber from the entry tunnel

                                            >"PLEASE SEE TO IT THAT MY GUESTS ARE CLEANED UP. MY GODS, PLEASE FORGIVE ME", he cries as he heads down into another tunnel

                                            >With a grunt, the Owlbear picks Twileer up in its maw and nudges Jean along it makes its way to the bath

                                            ----------

                                            The dragon was a bit of an amateur necromancer, and more than willing to apologize and pay the damages resulting from his experiments.

                                            >Fluttershy is glaring at you again, from her seat this time

                                            >The color has returned to Twilight's face, but she doesn't seem to be too upset anymore

                                            >Luna is still staring into the distance

                                            >Best wrap this up then

                                            All right, loot! You all get new clothes, for one. Fluttershy, you also get a delightful little oakwood coffin, with a gorgeous golden inlay. You'll need to roll a new character.

                                            Twilight, your character gets an enchanted set of armor that will let her walk again as long as she wears it, and you go up a level.

                                            Luna, the dragon offers you anything you'd like from his horde.

                                            >Luna is still staring into the void

                                            ...Luna? What would you like from the dragon?

                                            >A faint blush creeps up on her face

                                            >"... I'd like his hand.", she mutters, twiddling with her hooves.

                                            >The three of you shoot her a strange look

                                            >"What? He held my hoof..."

                                            >Her blush deepens, and she hides her face in her wings

                                            Oookay. Good game, see ya next week.

                                            >Fucking Luna

                                            8/8