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A DnD Day

By Greggums
Created: 2021-10-25 20:10:46
Expiry: Never

  1. 1.
    >Day of The Quest
  2. 2.
    >Be Anon the Just, 12th Level Paladin
  3. 3.
    >With you are your trusted allies: Twileer the Alchemist and Jean de Lune, the Bard
  4. 4.
    >You stand at the entrance to the Bonecrusher's Wake, home to the creature that has been terrorizing a nearby village
  5. 5.
    >Small puffs of smoke come from the crack of the mountain which houses this cave
  6. 6.
    >You roll your shoulders and unsheath your sword
  7. 7.
    C'mon lads, it seems our enemy isn't expecting us.
  8. 8.
    >Jean De Lune swaggers into the cave the cave after you
  9. 9.
    >"I should hope he isn't, I'm still a little sore from the cave bears last week."
  10. 10.
    >Twileer, shaking and giggling with excitement, brings up the rear as you march into the unknown
  11. 11.
    1/
  12. 12.
     
  13. 13.
    >The cave is dark, and you can hear occasional splashes as water drips to the rocky floor
  14. 14.
    >"Blasted darkness, let us have some light...", Twileer mutters to herself as she slathers a torch with one of her potions
  15. 15.
    >The torch glows a healthy orange after a moment, lighting up the narrow path
  16. 16.
    >She walks past Jean and hands you the torch
  17. 17.
    >"Here. Just try not to smell it if you can, rancid stuff."
  18. 18.
    Ah, thank you Twileer.
  19. 19.
    >You take the torch and your group presses forward
  20. 20.
    >You pass numerous skeletons in armor as you walk, the pathway appearing to widen slightly
  21. 21.
    >"So, what do you think it is?" Jean chimes in
  22. 22.
    Think what is?
  23. 23.
    >"The creature! I think it's a crocodile."
  24. 24.
    A crocodile? Wait a second-
  25. 25.
    >You stretch your arms out, and your partners are stopped by your arms
  26. 26.
    >"Crocs don't live in caves Jean."
  27. 27.
    Ahem
  28. 28.
    >"Maybe this one decided he hated the swamp."
  29. 29.
    AHEM.
  30. 30.
    >"Did you have a better guess, Ano-Oh."
  31. 31.
    >Standing before the three of you is a massive gold dragon, tending to a small blaze
  32. 32.
    2/
  33. 33.
     
  34. 34.
    >The dragon turns around, and on seeing you it flashes a toothy smile
  35. 35.
    >"AH, VISITORS.", they grumble, not taking their eyes off the fire
  36. 36.
    >"SIT, SIT. I SUPPOSE YOU'RE HERE ABOUT THE RAIDS."
  37. 37.
    >With a snap of their talons, a small table appears, with a spread of buttered bread and assorted dried meats
  38. 38.
    >Moving away from the blaze, they take a teapot from the fire and pour out four cups, setting them onto the table
  39. 39.
    >Twileer glares at the meat and bread, looking for any signs of poison
  40. 40.
    >"Looks safe to me!" She declares before chowing down
  41. 41.
    >Jean takes a sip of the tea
  42. 42.
    >Anon you s-
  43. 43.
    I want to roll to seduce the dragon.
  44. 44.
    ----
  45. 45.
    You what?
  46. 46.
    >A silence takes over the kitchen table
  47. 47.
    >Fluttershy stares at you, a hint of depraved joy in her eyes
  48. 48.
    >Twilight and Princess Luna stop munching on their snacks
  49. 49.
    >"I want to roll to seduce the dragon." She repeats as she begins shaking her die.
  50. 50.
    No. Out of the question.
  51. 51.
    3/
  52. 52.
     
  53. 53.
    >"But why?", Fluttershy asks.
  54. 54.
    Because it's out of character. You're a paladin, you don't just barge into peoples homes and fuck them. That's Luna's job.
  55. 55.
    >"That's not fair! You're just upset because he's based on you." Luna pouts
  56. 56.
    >"Yeah Anon, it's Fluttershy's character, she should be allowed to play him as she sees fit!", Twilight adds. "That's what you told us when we first started playing!"
  57. 57.
    >You shake your head
  58. 58.
    >They weren't wrong, but as DM you must be firm
  59. 59.
    I understand, but this is-
  60. 60.
    >"It's not out of character.", Fluttershy states as she passes you a piece of paper "Look."
  61. 61.
    >You take the paper
  62. 62.
    >It's her character sheet
  63. 63.
    >Under "Flaws" it reads "Anon's Fetish: Scaled creatures"
  64. 64.
    >Fuck
  65. 65.
    >Well, that explains why she was so nice on the Kobolds a few sessions back
  66. 66.
    >But you have to stay strong.
  67. 67.
    I'm sorry, Shy, but-
  68. 68.
    >"I GIVE ANON A CHARISMA POTION." Twilight yells
  69. 69.
    >"AND WE AID ANON BY PLAYING A SULTRY TUNE." Luna adds
  70. 70.
    >In unison, Fluttershy and Luna throw down their dice
  71. 71.
    >Twilight chimes in with how the potion changes Anon's Charisma
  72. 72.
    >Both got Nat 20, plus Anon's sizable Charisma and Jean's skill with his voice...
  73. 73.
    >Yeah, this dragon is getting fucked
  74. 74.
    >The three ponies stare at you, small fires burning behind their eyes
  75. 75.
    >You are fucked
  76. 76.
    -but I need to get another rulebook to determine the results. Seducing a dragon is a bit complex.
  77. 77.
    >The trio cheer as you head to the next room
  78. 78.
    >They have you dead to rights
  79. 79.
    >But you have a dark, forbidden ace up your sleeve
  80. 80.
    4/
  81. 81.
     
  82. 82.
    >You return with a small book, covered in dust
  83. 83.
    >You may have to let this happen, but you'll be damn sure they regret it
  84. 84.
    >You dust off the cover, revealing two scantily clad humans fighting some blue gnomes in a mine
  85. 85.
    >Consulting the table of contents, you flip to the relevant page
  86. 86.
    Ah here we are. Everyone hand me your sheets for a second. Twilight, I'm gonna rattle off equations at you, so be ready to solve them
  87. 87.
    >"Uhh, okay Anon." Twi replies.
  88. 88.
    >You throw the needlessly complex equations at her, and she hurls the results back at you
  89. 89.
    >You write one new stat on Fluttershy's character sheet, and two stats on Twilight and Lunas
  90. 90.
    >To Fluttershy, it simply read "AC", or "AC" and "VC" for the Princesses
  91. 91.
    >But you knew better
  92. 92.
    Okay, you say as you grab your d100, now that we're ready...
  93. 93.
    -------
  94. 94.
    >Twileer passes you a potion while the dragon places the kettle back into the flames
  95. 95.
    >You greedily drink it down, handing her back the empty
  96. 96.
    >Jean de Lune begins crooning a love song from his homeland
  97. 97.
    >As the potion takes effect, you feel profoundly more charming
  98. 98.
    >"WHAT IS THAT LOVELY TUNE?" the dragon growls
  99. 99.
    >You open your mouth, delivering the dragon a honeyed, seductive proposition
  100. 100.
    Hey bby, u wan sum dock?
  101. 101.
    5/
  102. 102.
     
  103. 103.
    >Steam erupts from the dragon's nose, and you can almost swear his eyes turn to hearts
  104. 104.
    >"OH BABY" the dragon roars, his girthy, bifurcated penis erupting from its sheath
  105. 105.
    >Seeing this, you start to run
  106. 106.
    >Twileer and Jean de Lune can only look on in horror
  107. 107.
    >He pounces upon you, ripping the armor from your body
  108. 108.
    >Unceremoniously, he flips you onto your stomach and begins prodding your entrance
  109. 109.
    >With a grunt, he forces his way in, tearing your sphincter in the process
  110. 110.
    >Blood begins to pour from you as you silently scream into the dirt
  111. 111.
    >With every thrust, he widens the tear, slowly splitting you as he makes his way deeper
  112. 112.
    >Your pelvis snaps apart with a loud crack, and your guts spill onto the floor
  113. 113.
    >The dragon does not seem to pay any mind and continues rubbing against the blood on the floor
  114. 114.
    >Twileer finally snaps from her daze
  115. 115.
    >"DIE YOU MONSTER, she yells as she hurls a potion towards the dragon
  116. 116.
    >It clatters harmlessly off his scales and breaks on the ground below, causing a green flame to engulf your mangled corpse
  117. 117.
    >"RAGGH", the dragon roars, leaving your body and turning his attention towards Twileer
  118. 118.
    >He grabs her robe in his teeth, flinging her with enough force to send her flying into the cave wall
  119. 119.
    >"GAH!" She cries out as she makes contact
  120. 120.
    >As the dragon advances, she tries to stand
  121. 121.
    >She gets her trunk off the ground, and strains to move her lower half
  122. 122.
    >Her eyes go wide when she realizes she cannot move her legs
  123. 123.
    6/
  124. 124.
     
  125. 125.
    >With no more care than he showed you, the dragon is quick to mount Twileer
  126. 126.
    >Thankfully, her body is able to handle the strain, and she tries to crawl away
  127. 127.
    >But the dragon stops her, planting a claw into her back and causing her to scream in pain
  128. 128.
    "JEAN! JEAN HELP ME PLEASE!", she cries out between thrusts
  129. 129.
    >Jean stands frozen by Anon's brutalized, burning body
  130. 130.
    >The sickly sweet scent of burning flesh fills her nose, Twileer's cries barely registering in her ears
  131. 131.
    >"Twileer?" she mumbles, looking towards the dragon
  132. 132.
    >Twileer looks unconscious, but the dragon is still viciously thrusting in
  133. 133.
    >The sight snaps Jean out of her daze, and she runs to confront the beast
  134. 134.
    >"HEY! LEAVE HER ALONE!" Jean yells up at the dragon
  135. 135.
    >He looks down upon Jean, stopping his thrusting for a moment
  136. 136.
    >He pulls Twileer off of his member and tosses her aside
  137. 137.
    >In an instant, he has the mortified bard on the ground, and begins to rub his organ fervently against Jean, hungering for a gap in the armor
  138. 138.
    >With his tips barely inside, he climaxes, covering you in wave after wave of ejaculate.
  139. 139.
    ----
  140. 140.
    >Fluttershy looks mortified
  141. 141.
    >Twilight looks like she is about to puke
  142. 142.
    >Luna is silent, staring behind you at the fridge
  143. 143.
    >Excellent
  144. 144.
    >"T-TH-TH-THAT'S NOT FAIR" Fluttershy breaks the silence as she leaps onto the table
  145. 145.
    >Her fur is on end, and her feathers puffed out to max
  146. 146.
    What isn't fair?
  147. 147.
    >Angrily, yet gingerly to avoid making a mess, she stomps her away to you
  148. 148.
    >"THAT WAS A FEMALE DRAGON! YOU CHANGED IT ON PURPOSE TO DO THIS!"
  149. 149.
    >You cross your arms and lean past her to look at Twilight
  150. 150.
    Hey Twi? Did I ever say it was a female dragon?
  151. 151.
    >"...no."
  152. 152.
    Exactly. Now sit down and shut up.
  153. 153.
    >Deflated, Shy slides down and takes her seat
  154. 154.
    7/
  155. 155.
     
  156. 156.
    >Freed from the shackle of his libido the dragon stares around his cave
  157. 157.
    >"WHAT HAP-"
  158. 158.
    >Anon's corpse, charred and black, has finally stopped burning
  159. 159.
    >Twileer's naked and broken form is draped across a rock
  160. 160.
    >And below him is Jean de Lune, a mile-long stare peering from beneath the jism
  161. 161.
    >"I-I'M GONNA BE SICK" the dragon cries
  162. 162.
    >Gingerly, with the care he had when you first entered his cave, he picks Jean from the floor by her foot
  163. 163.
    >"TO ASSAULT A G-G-GUEST IN MY HOME! THE SHAME I'VE BROUGHT ON MYSELF! THE TERROR I FORCED YOU TO ENDURE!"
  164. 164.
    >He snaps his claws, and the skeleton of an owlbear saunters into the chamber from the entry tunnel
  165. 165.
    >"PLEASE SEE TO IT THAT MY GUESTS ARE CLEANED UP. MY GODS, PLEASE FORGIVE ME", he cries as he heads down into another tunnel
  166. 166.
    >With a grunt, the Owlbear picks Twileer up in its maw and nudges Jean along it makes its way to the bath
  167. 167.
    ----------
  168. 168.
    The dragon was a bit of an amateur necromancer, and more than willing to apologize and pay the damages resulting from his experiments.
  169. 169.
    >Fluttershy is glaring at you again, from her seat this time
  170. 170.
    >The color has returned to Twilight's face, but she doesn't seem to be too upset anymore
  171. 171.
    >Luna is still staring into the distance
  172. 172.
    >Best wrap this up then
  173. 173.
    All right, loot! You all get new clothes, for one. Fluttershy, you also get a delightful little oakwood coffin, with a gorgeous golden inlay. You'll need to roll a new character.
  174. 174.
    Twilight, your character gets an enchanted set of armor that will let her walk again as long as she wears it, and you go up a level.
  175. 175.
    Luna, the dragon offers you anything you'd like from his horde.
  176. 176.
    >Luna is still staring into the void
  177. 177.
    ...Luna? What would you like from the dragon?
  178. 178.
    >A faint blush creeps up on her face
  179. 179.
    >"... I'd like his hand.", she mutters, twiddling with her hooves.
  180. 180.
    >The three of you shoot her a strange look
  181. 181.
    >"What? He held my hoof..."
  182. 182.
    >Her blush deepens, and she hides her face in her wings
  183. 183.
    Oookay. Good game, see ya next week.
  184. 184.
    >Fucking Luna
  185. 185.
    8/8

c: April Fool

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