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Spitfire Prompts/One Shots

By anonkuru
Created: 2020-11-18 21:31:33
Updated: 2021-06-16 04:02:38
Expiry: Never
anonromancesafecomedyspitfire

  1. (Daily Life)
  2. >"Hey hun."
  3. >You Spitfire coming in, looking tired and grumpy
  4. >She flings her sunglasses and uniform off then plop into your lap
  5. >*pomf*
  6. "Hey sweetie how was work?"
  7. >She grumbles, meaning it wasn't good at all
  8. >Despite how she is at work she gets very mellow around you, sometimes being silent for a long time
  9. >"I'm gonna make dinner why don't you wash up and come back?"
  10. >She nods and returns
  11. >After dinner you and Spitfire just cuddle while watching some movies
  12. >You nibble her her, rubbing her belly when she's on your lap
  13. >Lets out some light huffs and twitching ears
  14. >That's the Spitfire you know, your little yellow mellow pegasus
  15. >You eventually doze off while the movie plays, snuggling with your hoarse waifu
  16. >You just thought it was just another day, until you realized Spitfire forgot the lunch you made for her
  17. >This was a good chance to see your wife in action
  18. >Somehow you get there
  19. "Hey pumpkin you forgot your lunch!"
  20. >Spitefire turns around with that mellow smiles that quickly disappears
  21. >"Sugar pie?"
  22. >You see her face immediately regret saying that
  23. >You're not a dick so you don't go on to embarrass her
  24. >You give her the lunchbox
  25. >Wrapped in a floral pattern cloths
  26. >You're here so you chose to watch her train
  27. >After training you cook for her team
  28. >"You sure can cook Mr. Anonymous."
  29. >Seeing them enjoying your meal is pretty fulfilling
  30. >Since then the team asks if you would cook for them in the barracks after training because some of the mares live in the barracks so they get food from the chow hall
  31. >Spitfire is somewhat against it
  32. >Something something RGRE
  33.  
  34. (Mowing the Clouds)
  35. >Be househusband Anon to your cuddly horse wife Spitfire
  36. >Right now you are in Cloudsdale for a shopping date with Spitfire… well it was supposed to be a shopping date anyways. Not you were playing the mom to a spoiled kid.
  37. >You knew going to the home depot section was a mistake.
  38. >You glare back with your arms crossed, you have a glare matchdown with Spitfire.
  39. >“C’mon Anonymous, this is a reasonable request.”
  40. “Spitfire, we have a perfectly functioning lawn mower. Why do you need to buy another one?”
  41. >“That bitch-”
  42. “Language. Foals are here.”
  43. >Spitfire adjusts her sunglasses on her ears, grumbling some words you chose to ignore.
  44. >“Fleetfoot got the newest Terrific Trimmer 2000 and bragged to my squad. What kind of Captain would I be if I’m outclassed?”
  45. “Outclassed in lawn mowers? Spitfire I’m not going to let you spend your bits on something so stupid!”
  46. >“It’s not stupid! I need to show them I'm the top mare.”
  47. >Honestly… you weren’t sure how to deal with this kind of mentality. You weren’t going to budge however. You narrow your gaze harder.
  48. “I’m not going to permit it.”
  49. >“I’m the breadwinner here I can spend my bits however I want you can’t stop me!”
  50. >You raise your eyebrow, after a few seconds of silence you notice Spitfire having a bit of a regretful moment judging by her ear going flat.
  51. “Spitfire, honey cakes. We live in a cloud house. I already indulged you in buying a Mare Mobile 2500. All you do is polish that lawn mower and never use it. Then I allowed you to buy some modifications for your carriage when you can fly and I use the bridge to do shopping.”
  52. >“Can’t a mare have her hobbies?”
  53. “That’s not the issue and you know it."
  54. >“But Anon…”
  55. >Oh god not the begging eyes, anything but that. Time for plan B.
  56. “Sweetie, you’re already a great mare. You don’t have to prove anything to anyponies.”
  57. >You squat down to meet her eye to eye, leaning close to her ears nice and close for maximum effect.
  58. “Instead of reminding them, how about you remind me instead? I’ll dressed in that uniform you like so much”
  59. >The yellow coat slowly but steadily became red. The “fire” in Spitifire was starting to look real
  60. >“F-fine… you win Anon.”
  61. >You plant a quick peck on her cheeks
  62. “Now there’s my reasonable and wise mare. How about I make your favorite for dinner?”
  63. >She nods, and follows you for the rest of the shopping
  64. >Tonight was going to be spicy
  65. ~Few Days Later~
  66. >Again, your dear waifu forgot to get her lunch on the count of some urgent business. So, you’re in the base to deliver again
  67. >“CALL ME PENIS WHIPPED AGAIN MISTY I SWEAR TO CELESTIA I’LL TEAR YOU A NEW ASSHOLE!”
  68.  
  69. (Work Related Fatalities)
  70. >Be the loving husband to your horse waifu, Anonymous. Once again Spitfire forgot her lunch again. This was the fifth time she forgot her lunch. It’s strange since she never forgets anything in the house. She was sharper than cheddar.
  71. >“Hey Mr.Spitfire, did Captain forget her lunch again?”
  72. “Oh hey Misty. Yeah, this is the fifth time too. Not that I’m complaining.”
  73. >“That is strange… unless.”
  74. “Misty?”
  75. >“Nah it’s nothing. Look here she comes.”
  76. >You watch Spitfire drilling the new recruits. It was odd seeing her yelling since it was very seldom for her to do so. Excluding cadet x drill instructor roleplay.
  77. > Eventually the recruits come flying down one by one, too exhausted to move. Well not all of them that is. Spitfire however, there was no sweat, she looked bored really.
  78. >Before you went over to Spitfire a pony stood in front of you
  79. >“Hey there stud.”
  80. “Uh… hi.”
  81. >“Finally came to settle with a mare like me, name’s Rainbow Drops. I’ve seen you coming here often.”
  82. >You look over to Misty only to see her shrugging.
  83. “Yeah because Spi-”
  84. >“Shhhh… you don’t have to make any excuses. How about you and I go somewhere private. My training is over and we can-”
  85. >“And do what exactly?”
  86. >The mare, with the steel teats turned over to Spitfire. Oh my, that was quite the death glare she had going on, one that can melt steel.
  87. >“Come on ma’am, the training is over can’t you blame me, right stud?” She asked looking at you
  88. >“That ‘stud’ is my husband.” Spitfire flatly informs the trainee
  89. >“Oh.”
  90. >You’ve never seen a face dropped to pure fear in such short amount of time before
  91. >“Congratulations trainee Rainbow Drops. You’ll be handling the latrine duties for the next sex months. Dismissed.”
  92. >Misty chuckled as she watched the recruit leave. The mischievous mare she was, even this was too cruel.
  93. “Hey sugar pie, here’s your lunch.”
  94. >“Thanks hun. I gotta do some paperwork, you want to wait for me in my office?”
  95. “Sure, I wanted to drop off some brownies for you and your ponies too.”
  96. >“You’re the best hun.”
  97. >Spitfire flew to give you a quick kiss, the she turned to Misty. “Misty, you’re still on light duty aren’ you?”
  98. >“Yep, but I came to say hi to Mr.Spitfire. I had a feeling he would come here with how you’re so ‘forgetful’ with lunch.”
  99. “Speaking of… is something happening pumpkin?”
  100. >Spitfire turned her gaze away from you “N-no nothing like that. Maybe I’m just tired this week.”
  101. >“Hey Mr.Anon do you always come to her office after dropping off her lunch?”
  102. “Usually yeah.”
  103. >“It almost looks like cap is forgetting her lunch on purpose to-”
  104. >“If you value your life Misty Sky. You’ll shut up. Understand?”
  105. >“Oh look at the time time to preen my feathers, see ya Mr.Spitfire!”
  106. >You hold your grin.
  107. “You know if you wanted to see me you can just tell me.”
  108. >“Wha- I really did forget my lunch five times in a row it’s not because I wanted to see you!”
  109. You frown a little “So you don’t want to see me anymore?”
  110. >“OF COURSE NOT HONEY BEAR!”
  111. >The ponies’ eyes were on you and Spitfire, and she was redder than an apple
  112. >Spitfire was an honest mare, maybe with a side of snark or brutal honesty. However, she was terrible at lying. Worse than Applejack which was saying something.
  113. “Alright alright. Let’s head in your office.”
  114. >“You’re going to get it tonight Anon.”
  115. “Promises promises.”
  116.  
  117. ~Extra~
  118.  
  119. >You waited inside your office, with paperwork done all she needed to do was wait until she was off duty
  120. >You were going to show anon who the mare n charge was...
  121. >After a quick knock Misty Sky entered your office with a shit eating grin
  122. "What is it Misty Sky?"
  123. >"Honey Bear huh?"
  124. >It was too bad she escaped the moment you threw your stapler at her
  125.  
  126. (Monster)
  127.  
  128. >This was ridiculous
  129. >“Anon…” Spitfire looks at you longingly, and usually it works. By god does it work. In this case however her health trumped her habits. “How about we skip dinner tonight… and get to the dessert?”
  130. >Again, this would work if not for the fact that you were pissed off more than anything.
  131. “Are you gonna bring that monster with you?”
  132. >“Uh, duh. Of course I am.” She bit her lower lips, giving you the come hither eyes. “So you and I can enjoy our night for a long long time.”
  133. “You are not bringing that sugary junk with you. And that’s going to be the last can.”
  134. >“You can’t do that, I'm the mare of the house!”
  135. “And who’s the one cooking the meals?”
  136. >She gives a resigning huff. “You.”
  137. >“Cleaning the house?”
  138. >“You.”
  139. “And who’s the one that is pretending to forget to deliver lunch just so a mare can see his husband?”
  140. >There was a blush that complimented her coat. “Y-you… but Anon this is sugar free!”
  141. “Do you want to be dick free too?”
  142. >“B-but it’s also zero calories!”
  143. “How does zero sex sound then?”
  144. >Spitfire at the moment is laying on the couch, wings unfurled. It wasn’t the “holy buck this is some good sex my wing is out.” But it’s “get the buck away from my baby” unfurled wings.
  145. >“So? It’s my house, I can drink what I want!”
  146. >She gives you a gruffy reply along with a glare, sipping on her monster with a satisfied sigh. >You glare back with your arms crossed.
  147. “You know what? Fine. I’m going to bed.”
  148. >You take off your shirts, your under shirt, your pants, then your underwear. Spitfire is obviously dumbfounded with her eyes glued on to you.
  149. >“D-damn it Anon a stallion should be unsheathed when bathing or making love!”
  150. “I’m just getting naked to so I can shower and go to sleep.” You say all-so-innocently. “I think your sticky hoof got on to me. And you know how much I hate sticky messes. So don’t even think about snuggling me tonight.”
  151. >“What- YOU THINK I’M GOING TO BUDGE BECAUSE OF YOUR TIGHT ASS AND PERKY DICK?”
  152. >When you shrug you make sure to flex
  153. “I have no idea what you mean. Goodnight pumpkin pie.”
  154. >You wait inside your bedroom. Soon enough, you hear the sound of cans both full and empty placed into a bag. You hear the door opening and the sound of hoofsteps stopping at the bed. Without opening your eyes you lift the sheets. Soon, you felt the warmth of your wife snuggling in close.
  155. >“I’m sorry I yelled at you, Anon...“
  156. >You bring her closer with your arm.
  157. “It’s fine. I just don’t want you to ruin your body with that drink. I wouldn’t know what to do if you were sick.”
  158. >“You know you’re speaking to the captain of the Wonderbolts right?”
  159. “I’m not talking to the captain of the Wonderbolts but my wife that I cherish dearly. I won’t stop you from drinking that sugary junk just promise me to not overdo it?”
  160. >Her sunset eyes gleamed. “I promise. Besides, the only source of energy I need is you, Anon.”
  161. >Agile mare she was, she quickly got on top of you. There was the sultry leadened gaze as well as her teasing tail flicking. “And mama needs some energy tonight. The protein kind.”
  162. >Well
  163. >You are her energy source
  164. “Yes ma’am.”
  165. >“Atta colt.”
  166.  
  167. (Chaos Undivided Her)
  168.  
  169. >5:00AM
  170. >Silence comfortably settled in the room of four. The sun had barely started to rise, creeping its eyes to the quiet town. Despite the full sunrise you heard the sound of marching hoofs and the distant morning reveille. There was a rustling in the bed, as always Spitfire was the first to wake up then the others followed, except for Silent Shield.
  171. >She was a nocturnal mare, doing nighttime ops primarily, so she tended to sleep in longer. That and she was not a morning pony. The warmth of the pile lulled you to sleep in longer, promising a delightful sleep with a sweet dream. As much as tempting it was, you had your job to do.
  172. >Like a snake, you silently slither out of the bed to begin the day. A quick shower, shave, brush your teeth. Then you begin to prepare breakfast, all started from scratch.
  173. >Hay bacons, pancakes, waffles, then the dough you prepared the night before. Your girls mostly did field ops so a warm morning meal was a rarity for them during work.
  174. >Further in your cooking the smell wafted in the air, and one by one your girls begin to stir up from their dreams. Three alarms rang simultaneously, earning the collective groans from the mares.
  175. >You always wondered why they bothered to have three alarm clocks when they woke up all at the same time.
  176. >*bump*
  177. >Like a dying slug Tempest walked out of the room, then immediately bumped into the doorframe. She shook her head then struggled to get on the stool, then laid her head on the table.
  178. “Morning. Breakfast is almost ready.”
  179. >“Mm…” Tempest replies with a groan.
  180. >The second to wake up was Spitfire, yawning as she unfurled her wing and stretching.
  181. >“Already hot and ready.” She chuckles in her husky tone as she grabs the filled coffee mug that was prepared in the morning. “Just like how I like it, and you.”
  182. >She gives you a light tap on your ass as she gets up on her stool. The girls chat on what they were going to deal with for the day.
  183. >Then, Silent Shield dragged herself out with her wings, literally.
  184. >You learned that pegasus has different sub-species by their wing types. Silent Shield’s wings were owl’s, meaning she was able to fly silently and was much more active in the night, more than batponies sometimes.
  185. >You pick up Silent Shield then place her on the stool. Her shaggy manes covered up her eyes, so you grab your ribbon to tie her mane up, revealing her forehead and icy blue eyes.
  186. >“Sily, you seriously need to learn how to not wake up like a zombie. How long are you going to let Anon spoil you like that?” Spitfire chided as always.
  187. >“...” And as always Silent Shield lived up to her name.
  188. >“Oh for- Tem tell her something!”
  189. >The girls go on with their discussion. Be it newest orders form the generals or the most mundane things. You were just happy to see the homes so lively.
  190.  
  191. >About a few hours later your wives are prepared for their shifts, each in their own respective uniforms after their showers and hygiene.
  192. >Getting your mares to work was the easy part
  193. >It was time for you to wake up the little ones
  194. >thisiswheretherealfunbegins.jpg
  195. >You enter the little chaos goblins’ room
  196. >Surprisingly they’re asleep, being the little energy ball they are this was unexpected.
  197. >Until you saw the blankets pitched up, and you can make up a small rump shaking, two rumps to be exact. Like cats preparing to pounce
  198. >“RAAAAAA!”
  199. >Your eldest daughter Ace Firehoof pounces on your head while the middle child Fizzy Melonbomb hang onto your arm
  200. >Despite your wives telling you to not indulge them you couldn’t help it.
  201. “Oh no!”
  202. >You control your fall to make sure your daughters are safe in the landing, feigning a desperate yelp. They try to pin you down but they weigh just as much as a kitten and you wrestle with them for a little bit.
  203. “Ok ok you little runts, get to the kitchen it’s breakfast time.”
  204. >You hear their excited laughters, then a zap. Following was dishes breaking
  205. >“ACE FIREHOOF WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT FLYING IN THE HOUSE!”
  206. >“Fizzy you are in big trouble young filly!”
  207. >You sigh, picking up Snowy Shadow still sleeping in your arms.
  208. >Just another day.
  209.  
  210. >You are Snowy Shadows
  211. >And right now you’re in the best place as you can be
  212. >In daddy’s arms
  213. >You snuggle inside his warmth, rubbing your face into his arms as he is caring you in his arms
  214. >It’s a bit noisy since your sisters came back from flight school and magic school
  215. >You can’t fly now but it’s ok, mama said your coat will mature soon and you’ll be the most silent flyer there is
  216. >Daddy always carries you around
  217. >You feel safe in here, and it feels as if nothing in the world matters
  218. >“Daddy I want upsies too!”
  219. >Your second older sister shouts, hopping to get his attention
  220. >You see your daddy putting his finger on his lips, still thinking that you’re asleep
  221. >“Alright alright, no need to fret. Just be quiet ok? She’s still sleepy.”
  222. >You see your sister being picked up in his arms and bringing her close to you
  223. >You liked when your sister snuggled with you
  224. >It meant family, familiarity, and bonding
  225. >Like daddy said, family bond is the most precious and powerful thing
  226. >He always looked a little bit sad whenever he mentions that
  227.  
  228. >8:30 PM
  229. >You are now wide awake, except for your sisters
  230. >Downstairs daddy already made breakfast for you
  231. >Pancakes, bacon, and sausages
  232. >He’s smiling… but you can see his tired eyes
  233. >He only has that when you’re awake
  234. >You know why, and you’re thankful but you can’t help but feel bad
  235. >Mama hasn’t come back from work yet
  236. >It’s just you and daddy
  237. >After you finish your breakfast you see daddy resting in his recliner, staring at his picture of grandma and grandpa
  238. >You watch his face change turn into a sad smile
  239. >You lightly nip at his ankle, a silent way to ask for his attention.
  240. >And as always he ruffles your mane then place you into his arms
  241. “What is it Snowy?”
  242. >You look at the picture of grandma and grandpa, remembering the stories he told about them. The time he fought with grandpa, or that one story where he ran away from home. There were many stories that he told you.
  243. >And every time you see that sad smile
  244. >Lately, you’ve been noticing daddy seeing it more often. The more he saw it, the more his sadness deepened. You didn’t want daddy to be sad
  245. >Maybe he wants to go back?
  246. >But he said he loved you
  247. >And the herd!
  248. >But…
  249. “Mm…”
  250. >You burrow into his arm further
  251. >“What is it, honey? You’re more snuggling than usual. Is something wrong?”
  252. “Are you going to leave us?” You meekly ask
  253. >His eyes widened “Leave you? Now why would I do that?”
  254. >You point at the picture
  255. >You see him looking at the pictures then back to you, then notices you looking at grandma and grandpa
  256. >“Oh Snowy. Sweetheart.”
  257. >He hugs you close, giving a kiss on your forehead
  258. >“I will never leave you. You and everyone in the herd are my love and joy. I may miss them but I wouldn’t trade you for anything. Not if I have a chance to return and not for all the bacon in the world.”
  259. “Not even sausages?”
  260. >He chuckles
  261. >“Nothing at all. I love you Snowy.”
  262. >He smiled, and it wasn’t sad anymore.
  263. “I love you too daddy.”
  264.  
  265. (Boomer Spitfire Version)
  266. >Be Anon, husband to beautiful horse waifu Spitfire, Captain of The Wonderbolts. You sit in your recliner chair, sewing the buttons that fell off Spitfire’s uniform.
  267. >You hear the strict cadence being sung, and the marching hooves hitting the pavement. By now, you’re used to living on a military base… full of pastel colored ponies.
  268. >“I’m home!”
  269. “Welcome back hun.”
  270. >You briefly kiss her on the lips and take her briefcase back to her room. She looked exhausted (but sexy nonetheless). By the time you returned to the kitchen you saw Spitfire laying her head on the table, wracked with fatigue and frustration.
  271. “What’s wrong?”
  272. >“You know that charity thing the command told me to go?”
  273. >The Wish Foalfillment Foundation. Spitfire being the Captain of the Wonderbolts many foals wanted to meet her. To increase recruitment drive Spitfire was ordered to attend several of them.
  274. “I think you’re doing a wonderful job.”
  275. >“I know I am… but half the time I have no idea what they’re saying!” Spitfire exasperated.
  276. “What do you mean?”
  277. >Spitfire waved her hoof. “Words like poggers, cringe, based, twatnight… are those even words?”
  278. >You hide a snicker, being younger and all you got the general idea of what they meant. It was moments like these you remember that she was older than you.
  279. >“Is that why you’re tired?”
  280. >“Yep, either the foals are dumb as a box of fur or I am.”
  281. >You peck on her cheek.
  282. “You’re fine.”
  283. >“Hey Anon.”
  284. >“Yes sweetcheeks?”
  285. >Spitfire smirked. “Can you teach me those words?”
  286. “Uh… you sure?”
  287. >“Anon if I can understand your weird colty talks I’m sure I can understand their jibber jabbers.”
  288. >You sit across from Spitfire, holding a list of the most popular slang being used.
  289. “Alright we’ll first go with pog, also known as poggers.”
  290. >“What they hay is that? That’s not even a word.”
  291. “It isn’t. It means it’s cool or awesome.”
  292. >“Like radical?”
  293. >You choke back a chortle.
  294. “Y-yeah like radical or wicked.”
  295. >“Well that makes sense.”
  296. “Alright the next is finna.”
  297. >Spitfire quirked an eyebrow, her cute little snout furrowing in confusion.
  298. >“Finna? Like Aqua Finna?”
  299. “No honey, it’s a verb meaning fixing or going it’s just shortened.”
  300. >Spitfire writes the definition on her notebook then frowns.
  301. >“Why not just say go or fix? That makes more sense.” Spitfire grumbled. “Foals these days are too lazy to even properly say their words.”
  302. >You shrug
  303. “Alright the next word is based.”
  304. >Spitfire’s brows knit together in confusion. Why is she so cute when she does that? Then again she was always cute.
  305. >“Based? Based on what?”
  306. “It just means it’s cool, or something that is accepted.”
  307. >“So if I think it’s correct I say it’s based?”
  308. >You shrug
  309. “Yeah something like that or when you approve of something.”
  310. >Spitfire nodded sagely, writing more notes.
  311. “Then there’s cringe.”
  312. >“Oh I know that one, that means it’s terrible right?”
  313. >You nod
  314. “Something like that yeah. You use it to express that it sucks or it’s bad.”
  315. >You stroke your chin, then snap your finger.
  316. “Alrigh the final one is fag.”
  317. >“Fag as in cigarettes?”
  318. “No, it just means you’re being an anklebiter or someone being annoying. It’s another word to discourage someone from being bad.”
  319. >You’re not sure if the word was appropriate but it was close enough.
  320. >“Well I think that’s enough for now, I’m pretty horny. Let’s fuck Anon.”
  321. “Bedroom?”
  322. >“Yup.”
  323. >The next day, Spitfire entered the foal’s hospital room, the foal looked sickly, hooked up to all kinds of medical equipment. It broke her heart seeing the poor foal so tired looking, defeated. She couldn’t imagine her little foal being in such a state.
  324. >“Hey there squirt. I’m Spitfire, what’s your name?”
  325. >“Wow… you’re captain of the wonderbolts!” The foal coughed. “My name is Gentle Breeze.”
  326. >Gentle Breeze looks up at you, tears welling up in his eyes.
  327. >“T-the doctor said I only have a few days to live… I’m scared.”
  328. >“That's pretty cringe little guy.” Spitfire said gently.
  329. >The foal was shocked, probably by your impressive use of foal slangs. Even the parents seemed so impressed that they looked shocked.
  330. >“I don’t want to die… I- I’m scared!” The foal began to sob, squeezing tight to his teddy bear.
  331. >Spitfire softly pat the foal’s head, maternal instinct took over her thoughts.
  332. >“Don’t be such a fag”
  333.  
  334. >Be a bartender
  335. >Was a bartender back on earth
  336. >Now you’re a bartender in an officer club in Canterlot, after being groped too many times in the enlisted club.
  337. >Celestia wanted to keep the incident quiet so she upgraded your station where the elite officers were.
  338. >Unlike the pulsating rave lights in the enlisted club, the elite officer’s club was much more silent. The amber lights were dim, like the setting sun giving its final farewell.
  339. >You examine the glassware to ensure they were all clean. It was Friday after all.
  340. >A pony entered the bar, the one known as Spitfire. She didn’t trot but more like dragged herself to the bar stool.
  341. “Good evening, Captain.”
  342. >“You know the drill, colt.”
  343. “Yes, ma’am.”
  344. >You put her order on the table. Spitfire didn’t look happy at all, her brows knit together completing an annoyed frown.
  345. “Is it not to your liking?”
  346. > “It is… WHEN YOU GIVE ME A BUCKING MAGIC POWERED DRILL!”
  347. >Wow she must be really pissed. You take away the magic powered drill then fix your mistake.
  348. “I apologize for the mistake.” You say politely.
  349. >Spitfire stared at the hand powered drill. She slowly massaged the bridge of her about slowly.
  350. >“I swear to Celestia, if you don’t give me the usual I won’t care that you’re a stallion!”
  351. >Alright fun’s over, the mare wants to get drunk.
  352. “Alright alright, don’t get your ball bras in a twist.”
  353. >You place the amber liquid on a short glass, along with a donut that makes your blood sugar spike.
  354. >Ponies don’t have alcohol, they never discovered it since they get drunk on highly concentrated salt. You don’t even know how that works, you just learn not to question it.
  355. >“You’re forgetting something, colt.”
  356. “Oh right.”
  357. >You pour a shot of pure hay salt drink for yourself as well. You wince at how salty it tastes but Spitfire was already getting red. Contrary to popular belief, her alcohol tolerance doesn't equate to a dragon.
  358. >“You know…” Spitfire was already slurring her words. “Your damn whimsy needs to be kept in check. You need a mare.”
  359. “That so?” You say with a brief chuckle.
  360. >“A stallion can’t be alone or his whimsy will get the best of him. A mare needs to pull back the stallion.”
  361. >Spitfire downed another shot, she glowed like a lantern with her yellow coat only accentuating her drunken blush.
  362. “I don’t fuck ponies.”
  363. >“What? Are we not good enough for you, you slut?”
  364. “You have hooves, I’m not going to have sex with a craeture let alone one with hooves.”
  365. >“I’m Spitfire! Cap- Captain of the Wundar-”
  366. “Wonder Dykes?”
  367. >Spitfire slammed her hooves on the bar. The glass slightly rattled.
  368. >“We have male members!”
  369. “And none of them wants to touch you or your girls.”
  370. >As always, you hide your shit eating grin. Spitfire started to get teary eyed.
  371. >“They totally do want to touch me! I’m not some neck tuft sun hat tipper!”
  372. “Is that why you always come here alone on Friday nights? Alone and rejected again?”
  373. >The teary eyes exploded into a cartoonish stream of tears. You watch as she silently sulks all by herself as you attend to other customers. Nearing closing time, Spitfire trudged all by herself to the exit. Then you see her leaning on the wall, unable to walk. This was your favorite part.
  374. >You scoop the tiny pegasus into your arms and carry her home, occasionally whispering sweet nothing in her ears and kissing her cheeks. Her squadmates were already outside to take her back home. The officer barracks was close, and Spitfire slowly regained her consciousness.
  375. >“Wha…” Spitfire’s beady eyes widened. “What’s going on?”
  376. “You were drunk so I’m carrying you home.”
  377. >Spitfire struggled in your grasp so you let her down gently. She tried to look furious, but her blush betrayed her attempt to look angry.
  378. >“I don’t need some stallion’s help!”
  379. “Alright alright, you can walk bac home right?”
  380. >“Of course I can.”
  381. “By the way.”
  382. >“What?”
  383. “I want to buck you so hard that you won’t wake up next morning. I want to pin you against the wall and make you scream my name over and over. I want to grab that tight flank of yours and knead it like a dough. I want to eat you out until your pussy is numb all over from hours of me eating you out.”
  384. >The very angry look deflated to a pure flabbergasted slack jawed awed expression. The fading blush was brightly lit.
  385. “Honestly if you ask me out I would’ve bucked you before the first date.” You say with a shrug.
  386. >“Wha- what? A stallion shouldn’t say vulgar things like that! Why would you tell me that! WHAT THE HAY IS WRONG WITH YOU!”
  387. >You finally reveal your shit eating grin.
  388. “Because no pony will ever believe you.”
  389. >Spitfire tried to say something, at least try to make a coherent sentence. You simply walk back to your bar.
  390. >She was going to come next Friday anyways.
  391.  
  392. >“Are you one of them faggots, Anon?”
  393. >You nearly spit out the cider. It was all so sudden. One moment you’re enjoying a cold one and gets called a faggot?
  394. “The fuck did you call me?”
  395. >Spitfire winced and her ears flattened by the sudden change in your tone, and rightly so. So bristles her tuft to dismiss the very obvious look of being startled.
  396. > “A faggot, you know a homosexual? It’s just a question, what’s with you anon?”
  397. >Then it hit you. It was like asking if a girl was a dyke, back home “dyke” wasn't much of an insult or was it used as one. At least that’s what you thought.
  398. “No Spitfire, I’m not a fag. What made you think I am?”
  399. > “Isn’t it obvious?”
  400. >Spitfire turned around and wiggled her quarters.
  401. >“See?”
  402. >Then, she trotted around, flexing her wings and puffing her soft tuft. Her powerful hind legs stretched along with a sensual moan.
  403. >“Well?”
  404. “Well what?”
  405. >“My point exactly!” Spitfire said. “I’m the perfect specimen of pegasus physique but you’re still here with your tiny flaccid marshmallow dick. ”
  406. “You do realize that where I come from horses are non sentient creatures. It’s like fucking a dog.”
  407. >“I’m THE captain of the Wonder Bolts, I don’t have to chase some stallion whorse.”
  408. “I’m not attracted to ponies.”
  409. >“So you’re attracted to stallions then.”
  410. “That’s not how it works, Spitfire… And I’m not a fag.”
  411. >“I don’t know, Anon. Not being attracted by a mare like me makes you a pretty big faggot.”
  412. “Will you quit calling me that?”
  413. >“How can I quit calling you something that’s true?”

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