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[FLUTTERRAPE] Anon and Discord's Merry Adventures

By Nebulus
Created: 2020-12-17 16:46:05
Updated: 2021-07-03 09:20:53
Expiry: Never
anonnsfwcomedy/flutterrape/discord

  1. Originally uploaded to Pastebin: December 13th, 2012
  2.  
  3. ---
  4.  
  5. Update 30/04/2021 -- After a bit of thought, as well as seeing how other writers are doing things these days, I've decided that separate pastes for chapters is superfluous. All parts of the story have now been consolidated into a single paste.
  6.  
  7. ---
  8. Part 1
  9. ---
  10.  
  11. >Day 10 in Equestria
  12. >Wake up with a headache again
  13. >This always happens in the morning
  14. >Just another side effect
  15. >Groggily get out bed and drag your feet on the way to the bathroom
  16. >Rub your eyes with your hand and stare at the mirror
  17. >Start slowly brushing teeth and preparing to shave
  18. >Wake up as the routine goes on, ending with a hot shower to prepare you for the day
  19. >Walk downstairs and pour some cereal
  20. >Stare at it for a while
  21. >These last few days have been weird
  22. >Not so much that you're in a magical world filled with talking horses and are now living in a house too small for you
  23. >Nor is it because you get harassed daily by the Avatar of Kindness
  24. >No. It's a little bit more complicated than that
  25. >Decide to eat the cereal then head out the door
  26. >Gotta get to Applejack's early for work
  27. >Feels mundane, man.
  28. >The work isn't too hard. This world is somehow "softer" than Earth. Kicking trees doesn't shatter your bones like it should do
  29. >And ponies have a hard time pushing you around since you're twice their height and according to Rainbow Dash after kicking you: "Are harder than concrete"
  30. >Sigh and walk down the road
  31. >Stop for a second to look at Sweet Apple Acres
  32. >Smile
  33. >It never fails to make you smile
  34. >"Never fails to make me sick"
  35. Oh there you are. Sleeping in again?
  36. >"You wouldn't understand, monkey-boy."
  37. >Let out a frustrated sigh and carry on towards the farm
  38. >Life would have been simple here.
  39. >But fate had other plans, or rather, Celestia did
  40. >Because now you have the God of Chaos living in your head
  41. I just want a nice easy day today, man. Can't you give me that?
  42. >"First of all, I'm not a 'Man'. I'm a Draconequus. Second of all, you have no idea how boring it is up here."
  43. Yeah well, I'm just as pissed off as you are. It wasn't exactly my choice for this to happen.
  44. >It was pretty unfortunate, how it happened
  45. >Upon arriving in Equestria, the first thing you saw was Celestia.
  46. >She noticed that apart from being physically superior to most creatures in Equestria, bar Dragons and Hydras and the like-
  47. >You also acted as an extraordinarily powerful magic block
  48. >With this in mind, she told you that rather than risk Discord breaking free of his stone prison again, trapping him within you would render all his powers utterly useless, given your anti-magical nature
  49. >He would spend the rest of his days inside your mind and body, unable to break out or use his powers of reality bending
  50. >All you would need to do is put up with him until you died
  51. >She also had to mention that by essentially becoming "one" with an Elder God, you also inherited immortality.
  52. >Yeah, you were pretty pissed about the whole thing
  53. >It's not so bad though, he spends most of his time complaining about how stupid ponies are and sleeping
  54. >Sometimes he even offers advice on situations, though it's not always-
  55. >"You should throw a pie at Granny Smith. She'll love it!"
  56. >-Helpful.
  57. I ain't doing that, Discord.
  58. >"Oh come on, don't be boring! I'm feeling rather creative today, and with my brains and your lack of, we can prank this town till the cows come home!"
  59. That's a horrible idea. I'm not here to cause trouble, I just want to live my life.
  60. >"Pssh. So boring. When I first got here I thought you would be more fun than ponies. Guess I was wrong"
  61. Hey! I'm loads of fun when I want to be, but throwing pies at infirm old ladies isn't the way to have fun.
  62. >"I should start calling you Boreanon"
  63. Don't.
  64. >"Lord of all Boredom"
  65. Shut up
  66. >"With his wife, Boreyella"
  67. Discord-
  68. >"And a little pet dog called Borver"
  69. SHUT UP!
  70. >"Nope."
  71. >You argue with God for a little while longer until you reach Sweet Apple Acres, where you're met with Applejack.
  72. >"Mornin' Anon!"
  73. >"Oh no, not her again..."
  74. We work here, Discord. Of course we're going to see her again.
  75. >"Who are ya-... Oh. Is HE givin' ya' lip again?"
  76. Aye.
  77. >Discord does a childish, yet accurate imitation of Applejack in your head
  78. >You try not to smirk while she tells you what to do
  79. >"So then ah want you to help me out in the western fields, can ya' do that?"
  80. Sure thing.
  81. >Applejack smiles at you
  82. >"Thanks, Anon. It's real great to have ya' around to help"
  83. >She blushes a little
  84. >"Ah like havin' ya around"
  85. Well ok then.
  86. >Set off towards the barn to get your gear
  87. >"Monkey Man?"
  88. Yeah?
  89. >"You're the most oblivious being in all of creation"
  90. Oh what now?
  91. >"You honestly can't see that she's falling for you?"
  92. Why would she do that?
  93. >Look back over your shoulder
  94. >Applejack quickly looks away and pretends to sort out some barrels
  95. >"Well you know these country types. They'll jump at anything with a set of legs and a personality"
  96. >You sniff
  97. >"Or lack of, in your case."
  98. I can be personal if I want to be
  99. >"You have no idea what I just said, do you?"
  100. Nah
  101. >You hear him sigh and mutter something about not deserving this punishment
  102. >Sort out your stuff in the barn while you listen to him pine after his lovely stone prison
  103. >Turn to the door and see Applejack staring at you
  104. >"Oh, uhh, hey there, Anon! I was just uhh..."
  105. >She trails off and looks at the floor
  106. >Remember what Discord said about her
  107. Hey, AJ... Do you wanna hang out after work?
  108. >She looks up so fast you fear her neck would snap
  109. >"Would ah ever!"
  110. Great! I guess I'll meet you here then after we're done
  111. >Applejack nods frantically and then prances off with a spring to her step
  112. >"Told you she was into you."
  113. You know, Discord. You aren't so bad for being of chaos.
  114. >"The moment I convince you to get me out of this body I will lay waste to everything you ever looked at"
  115. Well that's not very nice.
  116. >"Gee, you think?"
  117. >Go about your day kicking trees and catching apples
  118. >Discord tells you tales of his days as a tyrannical ruler over the lowly pony
  119. >He's quite the bard
  120. See, what I don't get is this, you have all this power. Why not use it for good like Celestia
  121. >He laughs
  122. >"You think Celestia is GOOD?"
  123. You mean she isn't?
  124. >"Kid, if Celestia was gone, along with her moody sister, the Sun and Moon would return to their natural cycles. As would the seasons.
  125. They control the seasons as well?
  126. >"Of course! They control everything. This world was once wild and untamed, much like your world, with it's random thunderstorms and natural disasters"
  127. >You forgot that he could sift through your memories at will
  128. >He absolutely loves Earth
  129. >"Ahh, I wish I could visit your world. All that senseless violence. All that random devestation"
  130. >You hear him choking up
  131. >"I-it's beautiful"
  132. Are you crying?
  133. >"N-no."
  134. So you just love chaos that much, huh?
  135. >"There's order in chaos, my friend."
  136. >Friend. That's a new one
  137. >"A world of chaos is a world of balance and TRUE harmony. Not this sappy "Friendship" nonsense that Celestia conjured up to control the population"
  138. >"When I'm back in charge, I'm going to make Equestria like Earth"
  139. Seriously?
  140. >"Maybe you don't see it, Anon. Because you grew up in it. But Earth is my ideal world. It's ordered enough to have routines and control the chaos"
  141. >"But when that chaos actually happens, BOY does it happen. Like an Earthquake. Everyone across the globe stops and stares and cries "oh no!", then the "order" of the world sets everything right again"
  142. >"It means that when it happens, chaos is that much sweeter. And the randomness of it all is a thing of beauty"
  143. >You stopped working to listen to his little speech
  144. >You stare absentmindedly at a tree
  145. So what you're saying is... Earth is the perfect world?
  146. >"Yes"
  147. Not an ordered, peaceful world like Equestria?
  148. >"Too much order is a terrible thing, Anon. Chaos is the spice of life"
  149. >You're so wrapped up in though that you fail to notice the tree looking at you
  150. >Glance at it after a moment
  151. >Stare at the tree
  152. >The tree's teal blue eyes stare back
  153. >Blink
  154. >Tree Blink
  155. >Cough
  156. >Tree Cough
  157. Wh-
  158. >"IT'S FLUTTERSHY, YOU IMBECILE!"
  159. Oh. Hi Fluttershy.
  160. >"H-hello, Anon!"
  161. So uhh, You're a tree, huh?
  162. >Discord screams in frustration
  163. >"Y-yes, are they your fetish"
  164. Nope.
  165. >"Oh, ok..."
  166. >You and the tree stand around awkwardly for a while
  167. >Eventually the tree speaks up
  168. >"W-what IS your fetish?"
  169. Dunno.
  170. >More awkward silence
  171. >"By the other Gods, it's like you two were made for eachother. One gormless idiot meets another. A match made in heaven"
  172. Shut up, Discord
  173. >"O-oh! Is Discord in there with you?"
  174. >She looks more nervously at you
  175. >"Hi... Discord"
  176. >"Tell her I hate her"
  177. He says hi.
  178. >"Well umm... I'll just be going then..."
  179. >The tree uproots itself and walks away on it's newfound legs
  180. >You scratch your head, trying to figure out what you just saw
  181. >Discord moans
  182. >"Anon, I never thought I'd say this. But can you PLEASE get back to your boring job?"
  183. Oh ok.
  184. >Kick trees in silence for the rest of the afternoon
  185. >As the imprisoned Sun casts an orange glow across the valley, you drag your last bucket full of apples next to the rest
  186. >Look around for AJ
  187. >See her peeping at you from behind a barrel
  188. >Wave at her
  189. >She jumps, as if startled that you found her amazing hiding spot
  190. >She walks over nervously and stops at your feet
  191. >"Golly... Uhh, I've never really done this before?"
  192. Done what? We're just hanging out.
  193. >"R-right... Right..."
  194. >You both shuffle your feet and fidget
  195. >"I don't know how you did it, Monkey. But you actually managed to out-awkward Fluttershy. Well done."
  196. S-shut up Discord
  197. >Applejack looks at you
  198. >"Don't you be givin' Anon any trouble, ya hear, ya big ugly brute?"
  199. >"Ouch. That stung. Not"
  200. Real mature, Discord.
  201. >Applejack glares, then grins at you with renewed confidence
  202. >"Come on, Anon! Lets show that motherless monster a good night out!"
  203. >"You know, I never told you about my mother..."
  204. >You and Applejack walk happily into Ponyville, laughing at each other's jokes and remarks and just enjoying each other's company.
  205. >"So then, ah told him I'd never date a stallion with an attitude like that!"
  206. >You burst out laughing
  207. >This whole time, Discord was reciting tales of his mother
  208. >"...Of course, being with the Father Equestria can't have been easy. He was the creator of all you see, and she was just a demon. But they made it work, you know?"
  209. >He sniffs
  210. >"They made it work..."
  211. >Smile at the idea of a demon and a mound of soil getting it on
  212. >"MY FATHER WAS NOT A MOUND OF SOIL. TAKE IT BACK!"
  213. Nope.
  214. >Applejack looks at you
  215. >"Sorry?"
  216. Oh, Discord was just being silly.
  217. >"Ah..."
  218. >Her face falls a bit
  219. >"Does he hate everyp0ny? Ah mean he's been around us fer a long enough time. I'd a' thought he'd a' changed"
  220. >"I want her head on my desk by nightfall"
  221. No, he's warming up to you all.
  222. >You and AJ walk around town, buying food and laughing
  223. >Both of you start getting tired so you decide to walk her back to the farm
  224. >She's oddly quiet on the walk back
  225. >Glance at her
  226. >She's walking along with a massive smile on her face, her eyes half lidded from tiredness.
  227. >You reach the front door of her house and she turns to face you
  228. >"Ah had a real great time, tonight, Anon. Thanks"
  229. >She blushes under the moonlight and looks you in the eyes
  230. >You can't help but stare into hers
  231. >Such beautiful green eyes
  232. >You hold each other's gazes for a few minutes, content in each other's company
  233. >Eventually the silence is broken
  234. >On your end, anyway
  235. >"OH JUST KISS HER FOR GOODNESS SAKE"
  236. >Lean forward and lock your lips with hers
  237. >Well, Discord was right about one thing. She was certainly into you.
  238. >She fully engrosses herself in the kiss, moaning slightly
  239. >It's wonderful
  240. >"It's gross. Just break off already and we can go home. I want to sleep and forget this ever happened"
  241. >You break the kiss slightly so you have room to breathe
  242. >You gasp between breaths
  243. Shut up, Discord
  244. >And go back to kissing Applejack
  245. >Day 11 in Equestria
  246. >Wake up in a bed that isn't yours
  247. >It's far too small, even by your normal bed's standards
  248. >A fuzzy warmth can be felt on your chest
  249. >Look down
  250. >An orange ball of fuzz with a blonde mane is sleeping, cuddled up to your chest
  251. >Look under the covers
  252. >Naked
  253. >Sniff the air
  254. >Smells like victory
  255. >Applejack stirs
  256. >"Heh, mornin, Anon"
  257. Morning, AJ
  258. >Both stare at each other for a while
  259. >She nuzzles you then hops out of bed
  260. >She walks stiffly
  261. Problem?
  262. >"Yeah... Mah rear's a bit sore"
  263. >Hell yeah, mother fucker
  264. >Or Apple fucker, in your case
  265. >On cue, Discord rises from his slumber, awoken by a terrible joke
  266. >He yawns in your head
  267. >"What did I miss?"
  268. Uhhh
  269. >"Wait. This isn't our room."
  270. Well errr.
  271. >"This isn't our house."
  272. Thing is...
  273. >Applejack walks back into the room, her mane is a complete mess and she's giving you bedroom eyes
  274. >"What's up, Anon?"
  275. >The seconds tick by slowly while you wait for Discord to put the pieces together
  276. >"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!"
  277. >There we are
  278. >"YOU DID IT, DIDN'T YOU? YOU AND HER- OH THAT'S JUST DISGUSTING! YOU'RE NOT EVEN THE SAME SPECIES!"
  279. Your mother and father weren't the same species
  280. >Applejack cocks her head
  281. >"Huh?"
  282. Discord just worked out what happened last night
  283. >"Oh. Well i'm gonna make breakfast. Come down when you're ready"
  284. >"MY MOTHER AND FATHER WERE AN EXCEPTION TO THE RULE. PONIES FOR PONIES, ANON. THAT'S THE WAY IT'S ALWAYS BEEN"
  285. For a being of chaos, you sure are intolerant of non-conventional things
  286. >"OH GODS I'M SEARCHING THROUGH YOUR MEMORIES NOW"
  287. You don't have to...
  288. >"WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?"
  289. Hey, we both needed some release
  290. >"USE YOUR HAND! YOU HAVE DONE IN THE PAST!"
  291. Yeah but it's not the same
  292. >"THIS IS THE WORST MORNING EVER."
  293. Deal with it.
  294. >He doesn't.
  295. >Infact he screams all day
  296. >Since it's a weekend you're off work, so you decide to head on home after saying goodbye to AJ and the family
  297. >You don't like the knowing look Granny Smith gave you>
  298. >Reach your front door
  299. I'm gonna make something to eat, but I've got no ideas. What should we eat, Discord?
  300. >"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH"
  301. Good choice!
  302. >You walk into your house to make a sandwich but freeze when you reach the kitchen
  303. >Fluttershy is there. Sat at the kitchen table and glaring at you.
  304. >"Oh, hello, ANON."
  305. ...Hey.
  306. >"Have a nice time last night?"
  307. Yes?
  308. >She grinds her teeth together
  309. >"So why wasn't I informed? Are you trying to test me, Anon? Why didn't you tell me you were stayng out last night?"
  310. What's it to you? You're not my mother.
  311. >"I WAS WORRIED SICK!"
  312. YOU DON'T EVEN LIVE HERE
  313. >"I LIKE TO MAKE SURE YOU FALL ASLEEP SAFE AND SOUND"
  314. THAT'S CREEPY AS SHIT
  315. >"IT'S CALLED LOVE, ANON"
  316. >You both breathe heavily
  317. >Fluttershy looks a bit crazy
  318. >Her mane is a wreck and her eyes are red and bloodshot
  319. Look, I spent the night with Applejack, ok? Stop trying to make it seem like you and I are in a relationship, because we're not.
  320. >Fluttershy twitches
  321. Now get out of my house
  322. >She's completely motionless, her eyes are glazed
  323. >She opens her mouth and says slowly
  324. >"Apple... Jack?"
  325. >Oh god
  326. >OH GOD
  327. >Discord chuckles
  328. >"My my, what was it you said to Fluttershy? Oh, I'm sure I have the memory around here somewhere"
  329. >You hear him shuffle through what seems like paper
  330. >You imagine him sitting in an office with your memories in a filing cabinet
  331. >"Actually, yes, that's exactly what it's like in here. I have to sleep in an Office. But anyway, here's the memory"
  332. >"Ahem: 'No Fluttershy, I will never have sex with you, I'm not into Ponies. Not now, not ever' End quote"
  333. >You stand in stunned silence for a few seconds, Watching Fluttershy slip further down the mental ladder into insanity
  334. >"So uhh, This is usually the part where you run, Anon. She's starting to remind me of my ex"
  335. You had a girlf-
  336. >"ANON!"
  337. >Fluttershy hits rock bottom on the sanity scale and flips your kitchen table
  338. >She then charges you
  339. >Sidestep, watching her fly into your wall as you run out the front door
  340. >"Oh ho ho, now this will be fun!"
  341. SHUT THE FUCK UP, DISCORD
  342. >Run as fast as you can towards Sweet Apple Acres
  343. >Hear Fluttershy behind you, smashing anything in her way aside
  344. >Watch as cart flies over your head and crashes through the wall of a building
  345. >Look over your shoulder
  346. >Fluttershy's eyes are twitching non-stop and she has a look of pure rage on her face
  347. >"WHEN I CATCH YOU, I'LL MAKE YOU LOVE ME!"
  348. >"It's always the quiet ones"
  349. >Hear Discord munching
  350. Are you... Eating... Popcorn...?
  351. >"Yup."
  352. >Fluttershy screams some more and you start to hear wing flaps behind you
  353. >Shitshitshit
  354. >Nearly at Sweet Apple Acres
  355. >See Applejack lingering around doing odd jobs in the distance
  356. >Pick up the pace, despite your burning chest
  357. >You'd rather die from exhaustion then be left at the mercy of Fluttershy
  358. >"Did you know that even if you die, I'll still be bound to your decomposing body? Just an interesting though, oh and watch out for that tree branch"
  359. >A tree branch smacks you in the face, causing your nose to bleed
  360. >Carry on running, nursing your bloody nose and cursing Discord under your breath
  361. >"Hey, 'man', I did warn you"
  362. Shutupshutupshutup
  363. >Applejack sees you coming in the distance and smiles, waving at you
  364. >She then gasps and a worried look crosses her face
  365. >Look over your shoulder
  366. >Fluttershy is about 2 meters behind you, and gaining
  367. >"I WILL FUCK YOU SO HARD YOUR PELVIS WILL BReaK!"
  368. >"Oh wow, that's new. Didn't think she had it in her to swear"
  369. >Feel Fluttershy make contact with you just as you get to Applejack and you all go tumbling into a pile
  370. >You try to scramble away
  371. >Applejack is a bit dazed from the collision but otherwise ok
  372. >Fluttershy on the other hand is trying to tear your pants off, probably trying to fuck you out in the open
  373. >"What do you mean, "Probably"? Of course she is! Man up and do the deed. You already screwed a farmer, how much worse is a vet?"
  374. >Don't reply
  375. >"Hell, after that you may as well have your way with ALL the Elements of Harmony! Oh! But do Twilight last. I want to watch her squirm."
  376. >Now that was just creepy
  377. >"Damn right."
  378. >Fluttershy finally gets your pants off, despite your struggling and tries to fondle you
  379. >Applejack finally gets up, rubbing her head and sees Fluttershy
  380. >"HEY! WHAT DO YA' THINK YA' DOIN'?"
  381. >She bucks Fluttershy off you
  382. >Fluttershy recovers from the kick and stands, glaring at you and Applejack
  383. >"He's MINE! I loved him first!"
  384. >This take Applejack by surprise
  385. >Hear Discord eating more popcorn and sipping from a straw
  386. >"Ooh I always did love drama."
  387. >"Look, Sugarcube, Ah'm sure you like Anon, and all, but ah do too. An' he likes me, dontcha Anon?"
  388. >She looks up at you and smiles
  389. >You can't help but smile back
  390. Yeah, I do
  391. >"Boo! Needs more pie throwing!"
  392. >Fluttershy growls
  393. >"But I was the one that found him! Finders keepers!"
  394. >Applejack snorts
  395. >"Really? Ya' gonna claim ownership over him now? Come on, Fluttershy. Be more reasonable"
  396. >"NO! I WON'T! HE'S MINE!"
  397. >She lunges for you
  398. >Without thinking you stretch out your hands infront ouf you to protect yourself
  399. >Close your eyes and wait for the impact
  400. >It never happens
  401. >Applejack gasps
  402. >"Anon... How are ya' doin' that?"
  403. >Open your eyes and look
  404. >Fluttershy is suspended in the air, held up by a golden aura
  405. >She flails around helplessly
  406. >"Put me down! Please!"
  407. Discord! What's happening here?
  408. >Discord chuckles darkly
  409. >"Well... I never expected this to happen. Seems you may have inherited more than my immortality, my friend."
  410. >You eyes widen
  411. You mean-
  412. >"Oh yes."
  413. So I can-
  414. >"Yep"
  415. >Stare at the suspended Fluttershy for a while
  416. >A grin comes across your face as you telepathically fling her away from you
  417. >She hits the floor and stares at you in horror
  418. >Applejack is in awe
  419. >"Anon! Ah never knew ya' had magic!"
  420. Yeah, neither did I...
  421. >"Hey, Anon."
  422. Yeah, Discord?
  423. >"Want to go scare the hell out of Twilight Sparkle?"
  424. >Smile
  425. I think I do.
  426. >Snap your fingers and phase out of reality in a flash of light, with Discord cackling maniacally in your head the entire time
  427.  
  428. ---
  429. Part 2
  430. ---
  431.  
  432. >Day 12 in Equestria
  433. >Wake up with a headache
  434. Ugh...
  435. >Stand up and stomp over to the closet
  436. >Put on your working clothes
  437. >Go to the bathroom and brush your teeth
  438. >Walk downstairs after you finish your routine
  439. >Sit at the table and pour yourself a bowl of Friendship O's
  440. >You don't even want to know what goes into them. But they must have sugar in there somewhere.
  441. >Watch as all the multicoloured shapes dissolve in the milk, turning it into a rainbow coloured mess of milk and sugar
  442. >Shrug and down the whole thing
  443. >You heart complains as the sugar enters your system and starts acting anti-social
  444. >Harassing old organs, clogging up blood vessels and generally causing trouble
  445. >That much sugar isn't good for a man
  446. >You reflect back on the previous days
  447. >More specifically, two days ago
  448. >You found out that you had magic
  449. >Actual magic, not hocus-pocus magic.
  450. >You can move objects with your mind
  451. >You snap your fingers and the bowl instantly becomes clean
  452. >It flies over to the cupboard and places itself on top of the other clean bowls
  453. >You smile
  454. Magic is cool.
  455. >The headache subsides, the sugar doing it's job and putting your body into a state of semi-numb shock
  456. >Nothing like contracting diabetes to start the morning off
  457. >Stand up and crack your neck, lots of work to do today
  458. >Hear a knock on the door
  459. >Go over to it
  460. >Fluttershy, again.
  461. Hello.
  462. >"H-hello umm. Anon. A-are you busy today? I was thinking maybe we could go out to the lake and explore each other's b-bodies."
  463. >A yawn and the sound of stretching fills your head
  464. >"Oh great. What a wonderful thing to wake up to. Fluttershy. Morning, Anon."
  465. Morning, Discord.
  466. >Fluttershy's face saddens
  467. >"He's still in there?"
  468. Fluttershy. He's in here until the day I die. What part of that don't you get?
  469. >"Umm... W-well can you make he not listen in to our conversations? It's r-rude..."
  470. >Shrug
  471. I can't control him
  472. >"Damn straight you can't. I'm a lone Draconequus, I do what I want, when I want. I ride alone"
  473. Stop being rebellious, Discord.
  474. >"Screw the system."
  475. Fucks sake.
  476. >"D-discord? If you don't mind? Could you maybe leave me and Anon alone for a second? I-I'm trying to seduce him"
  477. >Discord lets out a loud laugh
  478. >"Oooh that's rich. You know, Anon. When I was reworking her mind, I found that she has a fetish for apes. Did you know that?"
  479. No, Discord, I didn't know that. Quite frankly I don't care.
  480. >"Well you should. Because we can use it to our advantage"
  481. ...How?
  482. >He tells you his plan. You can't help but grin at the idea of it
  483. You sure this will work? It won't hurt her?
  484. >"Would I lie to you?"
  485. Yes.
  486. >"Shut up. NOW MAKE A MAN OUT OF THAT MARE!"
  487. >This whole time, Fluttershy was staring at you with a confused expression
  488. >You point your hand at her, fingers outstretched
  489. >A golden aura surrounds it
  490. >"AAaand Alakazam"
  491. >Fluttershy turns into a monkey
  492. >Discord roars with laughter and you can't help but do the same
  493. >Fluttershy, now a monkey with yellow fur and a patch of pink fluff on her head, scratches her noggin and lets out a few grunts
  494. >She stares at her hands for a second, screams, then jumps into a nearby tree and starts masturbating vigorously
  495. >"Eww. Well, it was funny until she started doing that. Change her back now, Anon. I'm bored."
  496. >Another wave of your hand causes Fluttershy to polymorph back into a pony. Though now she's an Earth Pony
  497. Oh, whoops. Forgot the wings.
  498. >"Eh. She can live without them for a while. She did in the maze."
  499. >You accept this proposal and head off towards Applejack's farm
  500. >Your heart leaps at the though
  501. >"Hey, Casanova. Quit with the farmer thoughts. I'm trying to read up here."
  502. Read what, exactly?
  503. >"I'm just searching through your memories. World War 1 sounds fascinating"
  504. Millions of people died, Discord.
  505. >"Absolutely fascinating"
  506. >You listen to him swoon over the various methods mankind used to slaughter each other en masse until you reach the farm
  507. >Applejack trots over to meet you
  508. >"Howdy, Anon!"
  509. >She places her hooves on your chest and leans up to kiss you
  510. >You plant one on her lips
  511. >She drawns back, flutters her eyelids and adds in a soothing voice
  512. >"Howdy, Discord."
  513. >"Anon. Annihilate her. Build one of these "Tanks" out of wood and magic then flatten her."
  514. That's not going to happen, Discord.
  515. >"Loser."
  516. Freak.
  517. >"Now that's enough, you two."
  518. >Applejack is looking at you sternly
  519. >She points a hoof at your chest
  520. >"Ah want you to work on painting the barn, that ok, Anon?"
  521. >She points at your brain
  522. >"And ah want you to stop givin' him grief, ya hear?"
  523. >"Me me mee me meee!"
  524. Grow up, Discord
  525. >"Grow a spine, Anon."
  526. >"Both a' ya'll. Quit it."
  527. Sorry
  528. >"Murder her"
  529. >You ignore him and set off towards the barn, whistling as you go
  530. >Applejack trots alongside you
  531. >"What's that tune, Anon? It's awful pretty"
  532. >You smile at her
  533. Why it's something my father used to whistle to me when I was a boy. Helped me sleep at night.
  534. >Applejack smiles
  535. >"Yeah. My Pa used to do somethin' similar."
  536. >Discord pipes up
  537. >"Used to. Before he and his wife contracted Nightmare's Laugh and died."
  538. >You make a mental note to find a way to shut Discord up
  539. >Discord crumples the note into a ball and throws it in his waste-paper basket
  540. >You forget he lives in an office.
  541. >"I have read your mental note. You'll have to get back to me in 60 years time and we'll see if I can't forward it through to the board members"
  542. >Roll your eyes
  543. >Applejack takes notice of your silence
  544. >"Somethin' wrong, sugarcube?"
  545. Just Discord. I'm used to it by now. Sort of.
  546. >She frowns
  547. >"Must be terribly hard, livin' with somep0ny like him in yer head."
  548. It kind of is. But I found a way to tune him out.
  549. >Discord chuckles
  550. >"Just like I found a way to tune myself back in"
  551. >He starts singing opera at the top of his lungs
  552. >Applejack smiles
  553. >"Good ta' know that you're copin' just fine. But don't you worry"
  554. >You've reached the barn, Applejack sets off towards the western fields to work
  555. >She looks over her shoulder
  556. >"I'll help ya' take ya' mind offa him"
  557. >With shake of her rear she walks off
  558. >You watch her go with an open mouth
  559. >"Stop drooling, monkey-boy"
  560. Shut up, Discord.
  561. >You start to work, kicking the sturdy trees and catching them with magic
  562. >"You do realise that you have a small amount of my power now, right? And that you can do more with it than catch apples"
  563. Yep.
  564. >"You also realise that the spell you did today? Polymorphing? Yeah, only magical prodigies like 'Twilight Sparkle'-"
  565. >He says her name in a mocking manner
  566. >"-Can do things like that"
  567. Aye.
  568. >"Sooo, why not do this. Clear the ENTIRE field in about 4 seconds, dump them all in Ponyville lake and be done with it?"
  569. Because Applejack wants me to do an honest day's work. She says it build character.
  570. >Discord lets out a groan
  571. >"Build character. Really. The most boring character on the show is telling you to build character"
  572. What show?
  573. >"Nothing. Listen. You have to do something more with your new powers than being slave labour for the village redneck"
  574. She pays me, moron.
  575. >"Moron. MORON?! I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW THAT I AM A GOD, ANON. I AM AN ELDER GOD-"
  576. >He goes off on an insane rant about how insignificant you are and how if he was free, he would make you watch as he burns holes in the tips of all your socks
  577. You're a monster.
  578. >"-And then, whenever you pulled one on, your big toe would always be cold."
  579. >You both say nothing to each other for about 10 or so minutes
  580. >You're the one to break the silence
  581. Discord?
  582. >"What."
  583. >Hesitate
  584. Sorry.
  585. >He sighs
  586. >"Just... Promise me you'll make my birthday cake extra chaotic"
  587. There's a point, when IS your birthday?
  588. >"Whenever a volcano erupts."
  589. Seriously?
  590. >"Yep."
  591. >Once you finish up for the day you head on over to Applejack's farmhouse for some pie, and also some food
  592. >You snicker at you inappropriate joke
  593. >Discord realises what you meant
  594. >"No. NO. NOT AGAIN."
  595. Oh we're doing this.
  596. >"PLEASE DON'T."
  597. All night.
  598. >"I'M BEGGING YOU. I'LL BE GOOD! I'LL DO THE DISHES!"
  599. Several times, If I can.
  600. >"ANON, NO."
  601. >You push open the door, Applebloom meets you
  602. >"Hiya, Anon! Ya here for some dinner?"
  603. I'd love some, thanks, Applebloom
  604. >Discord is silent
  605. >He then sighs happily
  606. >"Oh... That sweet little filly"
  607. I'm sorry?
  608. >"That sweet, wonderful little pony..."
  609. Discord are you ok?
  610. >"Hm? Oh, sorry. It's just that little Applebloom is one of the ponies responsible for my release earlier last year"
  611. >You're shocked to hear this.
  612. >No one ever told you
  613. Seriously?
  614. >He laughs dreamily
  615. >"Yes. Her and her little friends Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo demonstrated pure chaos infront of my statue. Their dispute and innocent spitefulness of each other, no matter how short-lived, was chaos in it's pure form"
  616. Sounds like an overly simple way to break free an Elder God
  617. >"I don't make the rules, Anon. I just roll with them"
  618. Nah. You just break them and make new ones.
  619. >"Very funny"
  620. >You sit around the dinner table with the Apples, eating pie and laughing along with them
  621. >The whole time, Discord laments about his time as an escaped convict thanks to the selflessness of Applebloom
  622. >"I-I mean look at her. She's so pure. So wonderful. So full of chaotic potential"
  623. >He sighs
  624. >"Oh how I yearn to be free. To break her mind and force her to do my will..."
  625. >Mutter under your breath while the apples let loose a loud laugh thanks to one of Big Mac's jokes
  626. >He wanted to be a comedian, funnily enough
  627. Discord. That's really goddamn creepy. She's a kid.
  628. >"So? If she's old enough to talk, she's old enough to help me bring the world to it's knees"
  629. >Dinner goes on, the food tastes wonderful, the company is great, and Applejack keeps stealing glances at you whenever she can
  630. >Discord sneers at this
  631. >"Look at her. Trying to seduce you. But you know better, Anon! You know better than to tap that ass!"
  632. >Big Mac takes the dishes away, and Applebloom bounces into the kitchen after him, singing off key
  633. >Granny Smith has long since fallen asleep, leaving you and Applejack at the table together
  634. >She gives you the bedroom eyes
  635. Discord, I've already tapped that ass.
  636. >She raises an eyebrow
  637. >"Ah hope you ain't talkin' about what I think you're talkin' about at the dinner table, Anon."
  638. >She speaks in a lower voice
  639. >"That kinda talk is for-"
  640. >She raises her eyes to the ceiling then back down at you
  641. >"-Up there"
  642. >Discord is panicking
  643. >"No no no no NO! Not again!"
  644. >Stand up
  645. >"ANON PLEASE!"
  646. >Applejack smiles
  647. >"Anon, if ya please."
  648. >"DON'T DO IT!"
  649. >"Lets go an' uhh. 'do it'"
  650. >30 minutes later
  651. >You fall back onto the bed, Applejack beside you
  652. >You imagine that Discord is in the fetal position in the corner of his mind-office
  653. >"I AM, YOU INSENSITIVE SON OF A-"
  654. >"So Anon... Where ya headed now?"
  655. Probably back home, AJ. Thanks for dinner and uhh
  656. >Kiss her on the forehead
  657. Dessert.
  658. >Discord makes a noise like throwing up into a bucket
  659. >"OH GODS IT GOT ALL OVER YOUR CHILDHOOD MEMORIES"
  660. >"Thanks Anon. Ah appreciate it."
  661. >She nuzzles you then hops off the bed
  662. >You say your goodbyes and head out the door
  663. >Straight into Fluttershy
  664. Oh.
  665. >"Oh."
  666. >"O-oh, Hello, Anon! Fancy meeting you here!"
  667. >Look around the farm, which is a good distance away from town
  668. Yeah. Fancy that.
  669. >"MY RAGE MUST BE QUENCHED, MORTAL. SHATTER HER BODY"
  670. I'll do it with my dick if you don't shut up
  671. >"You wouldn't dare"
  672. Try me
  673. >Fluttershy squeals in frustration
  674. >It's an adorable noise, like prodding a puppy in the face
  675. >"S-stop talking! Listen to me!"
  676. >You both turn your attention to her
  677. >And by "both" you mean you.
  678. >Discord started making popping noises a few seconds back
  679. >Fluttershy begins talking as you walk away from Applejack's house
  680. >"N-now I think you should have sex with me."
  681. That's very blunt of you.
  682. >"pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop"
  683. >"Y-yes. Umm. I'm trying to be more assertive... Sorry. B-but still. I'm here to tell you why you should have sex with me."
  684. >She pulls a scroll out of hammerspace and clears her throat
  685. >"Item 1: You have a hot dick"
  686. >"Item 2: You're hot"
  687. >"Item 3: I have a vagina"
  688. >15 minutes later
  689. >"Item 490: You look cute when you're naked"
  690. >"Item 491: I think-"
  691. >Snatch the scroll out of her hooves and set fire to it
  692. >Discord breathes a sigh of relief
  693. >"Atta boy, Anon. Now do the same to her"
  694. >Fluttershy whimpers as her scroll turns to ashes before her eyes
  695. Fluttershy. I will NEVER have sex with you, okay? EVER.
  696. >Fluttershy whines
  697. Discord? Write that one down so I can remember to say it again
  698. >"On it, boss."
  699. >He starts scribbling on imaginary paper
  700. >"I put it in the 'Urgent Messages' box"
  701. Good man.
  702. >"Yes, boss. Thankyou, boss. Kill her, boss."
  703. Later.
  704. >Fluttershy is pawing at the floor while you 'chat' with Discord
  705. Fluttershy?
  706. >"Y-yes?"
  707. Get out of here. And I don't want you to knock on my door tomorrow. Got it?
  708. >She runs away crying
  709. Wait, did she have her wings back?
  710. >"Uhh. No. I think you forgot to give them back to her"
  711. Well you're in charge of remembering things, Discord!
  712. >"Sorry. I guess I forgot"
  713. >He chuckles
  714. >You carry on home and sit on the sofa
  715. So, Discord, what do you want to do tonight?
  716. >"The same thing we do every night, Anon. TRY TO OVERTHROW THE THRONE!"
  717. >He plays a laugh track in your head
  718. >"Did you like that? I found it when I was wiping vomit off your childhood memories"
  719. Don't ever do it again.
  720. >"Boring."
  721. >You sit there doing nothing for a second
  722. >The clock ticks on by
  723. >"...Really? We're just going to sit here and do nothing?"
  724. I'm thinking
  725. >"Don't hurt yourself"
  726. Harr harr. I just wish there was more to do around here. All I do is work all day, then I'm too tired by the time I get home
  727. >"Well if you weren't shacked up with the village bicycle I'm sure you would have plenty of energy"
  728. The village what now?
  729. >"You can do whatever you want, Anon. I'm going to sleep. It's too boring sitting around doing nothing"
  730. Better than being stuck in a statue, isn't it?
  731. >He mumbles something under his breath and you sit in quiet thought for a while
  732. >After a while you get an idea
  733. >It's still early enough to do stuff, about 7 o Clock at night
  734. >You walk outside and into the crisp evening air
  735. >You like walking.
  736. >For the first day of your new-found powers, you tried teleporting everywhere. But it's actually more trouble than walking everywhere.
  737. >Gives you horrible headaches after a while
  738. >Still... Suppose there's nothing wrong with a single jump. You haven't done one all day.
  739. >You decide on a place then snap your fingers
  740. >You materialise inside Twilight's Library
  741. >She squeals and falls off her stool, taking a pile of books with her
  742. >"A-anon! Are you here to prank me again?"
  743. >She forces a very nervous laugh
  744. >When you first teleported into her Library, she couldn't comprehend it
  745. >Then you spawned a pie out of nowhere and threw it at her
  746. >You and Discord laughed like baffoons until she chased you out, shooting laser beams at you
  747. >And still you laughed
  748. >Right now though, you just wanted to talk
  749. No, I'm just here to uhh. Read.
  750. >She looks at you flatly
  751. >"Read. Really?"
  752. >Her eyes widen
  753. >"No! You'll ruin my books! That Discord is probably telling you to do stuff!"
  754. Actually no. He's asleep.
  755. >She stares at you
  756. >"He can... sleep?"
  757. Sure. It's nice when he's like this. He's quiet. So I just thought I would spend the time reading.
  758. >She smiles
  759. >"Oh. okay! Sure! Let me just get a few"
  760. >A few minutes later you and Twilight are sat quietly, reading.
  761. >You open turn the page in "Pony Biology 101"
  762. >Raise an eyebrow
  763. Hey, Twilight, what's this?
  764. >Show her the page
  765. >She blushes
  766. >"Oh uhh. That's Estrus."
  767. Go on?
  768. >"W-well... Every so often, mares such as myself will go through a period where we umm. Try and procreate."
  769. Oh. That sounds uhh...
  770. >"Like a massive pain in the ass? Yeah it is."
  771. >She blushes again
  772. >"Sometimes literally..."
  773. What?
  774. >"Nothing. Point is, every year, there's about a week or so where Mares become very sexually active."
  775. >Stare at her
  776. So that's when all the babies get made, right?
  777. >"Uhh, In a way. For the stallions that stay in town, that is. Most of them leave to go somewhere they won't be found."
  778. Why?
  779. >"Can you imagine every mare getting pregnant every year? Foals everywhere, Anon!"
  780. >Twilight is getting more into this, she's leaning forward and beaming at you
  781. Uhh. Yeah I can imagine that would be quite bad.
  782. >"But that's why the Stallions leave. Pregnancy is a big thing around here. It's why the pony population is so controlled. The last Equestria Pony census stated that there are over 900,000 ponies! Isn't that amazing?!"
  783. It's not that big of a number.
  784. >She cocks her head
  785. >"Why? How many humans are on your world?"
  786. 7 billion.
  787. >You can hear a pin drop, as well as Twilight's jaw hitting the desk
  788. >"Sev.. Seven. Billion."
  789. Yup.
  790. >"B-but... Where do you all go?!"
  791. It's a big world back home, Twilight. Some say the planet can support about 12 billion. But I think that's bollocks. We could easily support 15.
  792. >These numbers hit Twilight like a bat to the face
  793. >"Anon that's insane."
  794. Yeah. It is. But hey, we're humans. It's our job to breed at a ridiculous rate.
  795. >Her ears perk up
  796. >"What did you just say?"
  797. I said humans breed at a ludicrously high rate. hundreds of thousands are born every year.
  798. >"Thousands..."
  799. Yeah.
  800. >Twilight is silent for a while
  801. >Then she looks up
  802. >"Anon? How are interspecies relationships seen on your planet?"
  803. They are seen as repulsive, and are outlawed in most circles
  804. >"...Oh"
  805. >She gets a sly look
  806. >"But you're not on your planet anymore"
  807. >You remember that she doesn't know about Applejack. And how hard you've been tapping that ass in the last 3 days
  808. >No one does
  809. >Better now than never
  810. Uhh. I'm sort of with Applejack.
  811. >She smiles.
  812. >"When Estrus rolls around, that won't matter."
  813. >She gets back to reading, leaving you in stunned silence
  814. >You try and forget what she just said and get back to reading
  815. >Such a strange language, this one
  816. >"Anon? You're holding the book upside down"
  817. >You're holding the book upside down.
  818. >You blush, causing Twilight to giggle
  819. >As the night goes on you decide to head back home
  820. Uhh. Thanks for this, Twilight. It was... Nice.
  821. >She smiles at you
  822. >"No problem, Anon. I'll see you out."
  823. >You head to the door
  824. >Step outside into the night
  825. >Turn back to Twilight
  826. Uhh, Twi? When does Estrus start?
  827. >She fixes you with a incredibly creepy stare
  828. >"Soon."
  829. >Door slam
  830. >That night you lie awake, thinking about what she said
  831. >Estrus sounds unnerving.
  832. >You don't really want a hyper-horny Fluttershy on your plate, or the entire town for that matter.
  833. >You eventually fall asleep
  834. >Discord will know what to do
  835.  
  836. >Day 13 in Equestria
  837. >Wake up to the sound of a window breaking
  838. >Sit bolt upright
  839. >"Hey, huh, what? What's the big idea? I'm trying to sleep, you damnable Ape"
  840. Discord. I think someone's breaking into our house
  841. >He chuckles
  842. >"Lets go and stop them then"
  843. >You run downstairs, god-powers at the ready
  844. >Fluttershy is in your kitchen, her mane is a mess and she's cover in scratches
  845. >She jumped through your window
  846. Why.
  847. >"Because, Anon. Mommas feeling very special today. I think it's time we had a bit of private time"
  848. >Discord laughs
  849. >"Get rid of her, Anon. I feel like having toast this morning. With Jam."
  850. >With a quick flick of the wrist you send Fluttershy flying back out your broken window
  851. >You hear several cries of pain
  852. >Wait
  853. >Several?
  854. >Look outside the window
  855. >A sea of mares are staring at you
  856. >One of them tries to climb in through the window
  857. >You send it flying back with a blast of energy
  858. UHH, DISCORD? LITTLE HELP?!
  859. >"GET TO THE ROOF, YOU FOOL!"
  860. >You envision the roof and teleport up there
  861. >You rub your head from post-port nausea and freeze
  862. >A literal sea of mares surrounds your house
  863. >Pegasi crowd the skies
  864. >Earth ponies and Unicorns form a wall of Pone around your home
  865. DISCORD! WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?!
  866. >"JUST A SCEOND LET ME CHECK MY CALENDER"
  867. >You stare at the ponies, who grin back at you with hearts in their eyes
  868. >"Oh gods no. Anon."
  869. >In your mind, he slowly takes off a pair of sunglasses
  870. >"It's Estrus Season."
  871.  
  872. ---
  873. Part 3
  874. ---
  875.  
  876. >Day Estrus in Equestria
  877. >Be Anon
  878. >Stood on your roof
  879. >House is surrounded by a horde of lusty mares
  880. >The air smells horrible
  881. >Like mouldy hay
  882. Alright, Discord. Any ideas?
  883. >"Survive, obviously"
  884. Obviously
  885. >"Obviously"
  886. How.
  887. >"I don't know! Start throwing spells everywhere, assert your dominance or whatever it is humans do"
  888. >You take the hint and start throwing random spells into the crowd
  889. >The ponies ignore the various colourful balls of energy hitting them and sending them flying, and start to form a ladder of ponies to get onto the roof
  890. Oh my god
  891. >"Oh me"
  892. Very funny
  893. >"Thankyou"
  894. >You start throwing spell after spell at the rising Pone Pillar, ignoring the faces of your friends as they reach towards you in an almost zombie-like trance
  895. Discord! It's not working! I can't hold them back much longer!
  896. >Discord yawns and lazily starts giving advice
  897. >"Watch out for the pegasi, darling."
  898. JESUS!
  899. >You narrowly avoid an incoming pegasi, turning him into a sheep as he passes you
  900. >"AAaaaht laaaasht! My fetish! Baaaaa!"
  901. What.
  902. >More and more ponies pile on top each other, until eventually one of them grabs onto the thatched roof of your house
  903. >It groans and looks at you, the hearts in it's eyes swelling and turning a deeper shade of red
  904. >"Now that's interesting. I didn't know that would happen to them"
  905. NOW ISN'T THE TIME, DISCORD
  906. >You turn the mare into a rubber duck
  907. >"Hey, I'm just saying, in light of these unfortunate circumstances-"
  908. >You scream as a Pegasi slams into you, but before she can do anything you remove it's limbs and watch it roll off your house and into the swarm below
  909. >"-It's interesting to see what happens to ponies when they get overtaken by lust"
  910. DISCORD FOR FUCKS SAKE SAY SOMETHING USEFUL!
  911. >"The square root of 100 is 10."
  912. AAAAAAAAAAAAAA
  913. >You emit a shockwave outwards, sending several ponies crawling onto the roof back down to the ground
  914. >"Here's a tip: They can't rape what they can't see"
  915. FINALLY!
  916. >You concentrate for a while, straining yourself
  917. >"Easy, Anon. This one is challenging, but you can do it."
  918. >After a while you see your hands and feet dissapear from sight
  919. >The mare running towards you along the roof stops, a confused expression on her face
  920. >She looks straight through you, murmurs start to arise
  921. >"Huh?"
  922. >"Where'd he go?"
  923. >"Anon! I love you! Come back!"
  924. >"Anon? I thought we were chasing Big Mac"
  925. >You silently breathe a sigh of relief
  926. >"Well done, Anon. Now turn them all to ash"
  927. Oh shut up Discord- Whoops.
  928. >"I HeARD HIM! HE'S STILL THERE!"
  929. >The Mare infront of you sniffs the air frantically
  930. >"I CAN SMELL HIM! FOLLOW YOUR NOSES, GIRLS!"
  931. FUCK.
  932. >"YES, WE WILL!"
  933. DISCORD. WHAT DO?
  934. >"TELEPORT, YOU IDIOT! TELEPORT!"
  935. >You quickly think of a location and blink out of existence, away from your roof and the swarm of lust-driven ponies
  936. >You arrive in a dark room
  937. Whew. That was a close one. Good call, Discord
  938. >"I honestly have no idea why you didn't think of it sooner"
  939. Neither do I
  940. >"Where are we, anyway? Where did you send us?"
  941. >You don't reply
  942. >"Anon?"
  943. Uh oh.
  944. >"Anon. What did you do?"
  945. >You hear him rapidly shuffling through papers
  946. >"It's gotta be around here somewhere... Ah! Here we are, last nights memories. The ones you experienced while I wasn't here."
  947. >He chuckles
  948. >"Didn't really have time to read them given todays events, Mares, eh, Anon?"
  949. >He laughs again
  950. >"Right? Anon?... Anon?"
  951. I'm a fucking moron.
  952. >Discord reads for a while
  953. >"You truly are the stupidest of all living creatures."
  954. I'm sorry! The memory was still fresh and it's all I could think of when I was teleporting!
  955. >"BUT YOU COULD HAVE THOUGHT OF SOMEWHERE ELSE! EVEN APPLEJACK'S BEDROOM WOULD HAVE BEEN A BETTER CHOICE THAN-"
  956. >"Hello? Is Anyp0ny there?"
  957. >Twilight Sparkle opens the closet you had teleported into and you fall out into the Library
  958. >You look at her in panic
  959. >She stares at you confused for a while
  960. >Slowly
  961. >Surely
  962. >Her shocked expression turns into a malevolent smirk
  963. >Her eyes roll into the back of her head and come back up from the bottom
  964. >Replaced with big red hearts
  965. >Discord starts praying
  966. >"Gods? It's me, Discord, I know we don't talk much anymore, but I was just wondering it- ANON TURN HER INTO JELLY!"
  967. >You turn that bitch into Jelly
  968. >Jellylight Sparkle blinks, her eyes making a funny squishing noise
  969. >She looks at her hooves in shock
  970. >"Anon. Why am I jelly?"
  971. Uhh. Because I'm so cool?
  972. >Discord gives you a complimentary rimshot
  973. >"Nice one"
  974. Thanks.
  975. >Jellylight stares at you, then smiles
  976. >"Well then. I guess we don't need to worry about lubricant!"
  977. AWW HELL NAW
  978. >She fires a beam of jelly out of her horn and sends you flying across the room
  979. >You find yourself stuck fast against the wall by the sticky purple mess
  980. >Jellylight walks closer to you, her hooves making weird squelching noises and her entire body jiggling with each hooffall
  981. >Discord sighs in defeat
  982. >"Well. Here we are, Anon. You're about to get raped and I'm going to have to watch as my new most hated pony gets off."
  983. I thought you hated Celestia more?
  984. >"At least Celestia put out"
  985. What?
  986. >"Nothing."
  987. >Jellylight stops infront of you, using her Jellymagic to part the jelly near your jelly covered crotch
  988. >Discord groans
  989. >"Why did it have to be JELLY?"
  990. I dunno.
  991. >Jellylight starts to undo your pants, with you still stuck fast to the wall
  992. >"Ok ok, Anon. We're not out of this yet. Brainstorm time."
  993. I'm listening?
  994. >"What if, you turned the Jelly, into FIRE."
  995. I'm not setting fire to TWilight, Discord
  996. >"Fine... How about, you turn Twilight into a sock."
  997. A sock.
  998. >"A sock."
  999. I don't think I can.
  1000. >"Are your hands covered?"
  1001. >You turn your head to look at them
  1002. Oh hey! They aren't!
  1003. >"THEN GET US THE HELL OUT OF HERE"
  1004. >Before Twilight can start sucking you off, you snap freeze the jelly and shatter it, sending razor sharp pieces of frozen jelly everywhere
  1005. >Twilight also shatters, her face a look of confusion
  1006. >You pull your pants up and pick up all the pieces of Twilight that you can
  1007. >You place her into a bucket and melt her, filling the bucket with purple goo
  1008. >You write "TWILIGHT" on the bucket and leave it there in the Library as you head out the door with Discord crying with laughter
  1009. >"Y-YOU BLEW HER UP! AHAHAHA!"
  1010. Yeah, I did. I hope she'll be ok.
  1011. >This only makes Discord laugh harder
  1012. >"Oh Anon. I didn't think you had it in you to blow up Celestia's prized student"
  1013. Oh man, she's gonna be pissed, isn't she?
  1014. >"More than you can imagine"
  1015. Great. Do I have to leave Ponyville now?
  1016. >"She can't make you leave, Anon. I won't allow her too"
  1017. Wow, really?
  1018. >"Sure. I like it here. So many horrible little ponies to play with"
  1019. I don't know whether or not I should be scared of that
  1020. >"You should be scared. Very scared"
  1021. Eek.
  1022. >Discord laughs again
  1023. So what now?
  1024. >"We find a place to stay until Estrus season blows over, or we go back to your house and snap-freeze every single pony there."
  1025. I vote for option one
  1026. >"Boring."
  1027. >Since every mare seemed to be around your house at the far end of town, it was safe to assume that Ponyville was abandoned for a while
  1028. >Twilight was at home though. That struck you as odd
  1029. >You pass it off as her being a massive shut-in and head towards Sugarcube Corner
  1030. >"Why Sugarcube Corner? Won't Pinkie Pie be there?"
  1031. I think I saw her in the crowd at my house, we should be ok to get some food and hide out there
  1032. >You arrive at the shop and look around to see if anyone followed you before entering
  1033. >The shop is dark, and quiet
  1034. >"Hmm... Be wary, Anon. They could be upon us at any moment"
  1035. It'll be fine, Discord. We're only here for a bit. I just need something to eat...
  1036. >You creep through the shop and behind the counter towards the kitchen
  1037. >A floorboard creaks
  1038. >Discord gasps and you freeze
  1039. Are we clear? I can't see too well.
  1040. >"Looks fine from up here. They should keep food in that fridge over the far side of the room"
  1041. >You nod and tip-toe closer to it
  1042. >You pass a counter where the food is prepared and glance down momentarily
  1043. >You suppress a scream and bring your foot back
  1044. >Discord hisses through his teeth
  1045. >"This just got bad"
  1046. >You nod in agreement as you stare at the Pink mare snoozing on the floor infront of the fridge
  1047. >You whisper as silently as you can
  1048. Discord? What now?
  1049. >"Ok ok, be very careful. Step over her and open the fridge"
  1050. What if she wakes up?
  1051. >"Kill her"
  1052. I'm not killing Pinkie Pie, you maniac!
  1053. >"Boring."
  1054. >You try not to growl
  1055. >"Well what do you recommend?"
  1056. I don't know... Turning her into stone?
  1057. >Discord is silent
  1058. >Then he speaks up in a surprised voice
  1059. >"Anon that's brilliant"
  1060. Really?
  1061. >"Yes! Do it now!"
  1062. >You point a hand at Pinkie Pie
  1063. Sorry, Pinkie...
  1064. >Your hand flashes gold as Pinkie Pie's skin slowly turns grey and turns more solid
  1065. >You tenderly reach out and poke her
  1066. >Hard as a rock
  1067. >You let out a sigh of relief
  1068. Another close one
  1069. >"Agreed"
  1070. >You step over Pinkie Pie and open the fridge
  1071. >It's crammed full of treats and delights
  1072. >"OOoh, chocolate milk. My favourite."
  1073. >You grab a jug of it out and pour yourself a glass before chugging it down
  1074. Ahhh... That's better
  1075. >"I missed this stuff."
  1076. >You reach back into the fridge and grab a couple of cupcakes, holding them with your arm you shut the fridge and munch on one, peeking out of the kitchen window curtain, which, like all the curtains in Sugarcube Corner, were shut
  1077. >"Ok, Anon. It's time to move. Lets get out of here"
  1078. >You turn around step over the still frozen Pinkie Pie and head for the door
  1079. >Looking back over your shoulder you frown back at Pinkie Pie
  1080. >Or you would
  1081. >If she was still there
  1082. >Your blood runs ice cold
  1083. Oh shit.
  1084. >"Anon. RUN. RUN NOW!"
  1085. >You roll over the main counter and run towards the door
  1086. >Using your magic you tear the door of it's hinges and fling it over your shoulder
  1087. >Your hear it collide with something solid, and then a cold laugh follows you
  1088. >It sounds like Pinkie Pie's laugh, only it's distorted and chills you to the core instead of making you feel happy
  1089. >You sprint away from the shop, then turn back to look at the dark entrance
  1090. >Pinkie Pie stands there on all fours, grinning at you
  1091. >It's not the happy grin you've come to expect from her
  1092. >It's absolutely horrifying, almost like she's saying "I'm going to kill you and rape the corpse"
  1093. >You turn back around and run like hell
  1094. DISCORD! WHAT THE HELL?
  1095. >"I THOUGHT IT WOULD WORK JUST AS MUCH AS YOU DID. IS SHE FOLLOWING US?"
  1096. >You look over your shoulder as you run
  1097. >Pinkie Pie has moved from the entrance to the middle of the street, still facing you in the exact same position with that nightmarish smile
  1098. >"Heh. NightMARE"
  1099. SHUT THE FUCK UP, DISCORD
  1100. >You run towards the one place you can think of that's safe
  1101. >"It won't be safe, Anon."
  1102. I have to try!
  1103. >"Big Mac won't be there to protect you if things go south."
  1104. I think I can look after myself, Discord.
  1105. >"Really? Then deal with Pinkie Pie."
  1106. >You grind to a halt and turn around
  1107. >Pinkie Pie is on the path behind you, facing you. Unmoving. That cursed smile still adorning her face
  1108. >You blink
  1109. >She gets a bit closer
  1110. Holy fuck
  1111. >"Now that's just unfair. Anon? Blast her"
  1112. >You raise your hand and let loose a bolt of concentrated water
  1113. >It collides with Stonie Pie's face
  1114. >Nothing, not even a crack
  1115. >You blink again
  1116. >She gets closer
  1117. Oh god why do I feel like I've seen this before!
  1118. >"Because you have! Memories, Anon! Use them!"
  1119. Ok ok. How do you deal with something that moves when you blink?
  1120. >"..."
  1121. ...
  1122. >"Blow her up?"
  1123. Hell that's good enough for me
  1124. >You snap freeze Pinkie Pie and shatter her into a thousand pieces
  1125. >Discord laughs again
  1126. >"Oh that never gets old!"
  1127. It will
  1128. >"You're right. It will. Next time, make all the pieces turn into paint!"
  1129. No.
  1130. >You magic a bucket into existence and start placing Pinkie's pieces in it
  1131. >You pick up a faction of her smiling face and shudder
  1132. >Once it's all in the bucket you write "PINKIE PIE" on the side, and set it next to a tree on the side of the road
  1133. >Then you dust yourself off and carry on towards Applejack's farm
  1134. >There's silence between you and Discord
  1135. >"Anon?"
  1136. Yeah, Discord?
  1137. >"Do you think Applebloom will be affected by this?"
  1138. I dunno. She's 8, isn't she?
  1139. >"I hope she doesn't try anything"
  1140. >You smile
  1141. Do you like Applebloom, Discord?
  1142. >You like teasing him
  1143. >"Knock it off, Anon. I want to make sure that my future right hand minion of chaos is mentally and physically fit for duty when I bring Canterlot to it's knees"
  1144. Can't you do that anyway? You ARE a god.
  1145. >"Yes, Anon. I can do that. But you can't. Yet."
  1146. ...What do you mean by that?
  1147. >"Nothing. Be quiet"
  1148. >You think nothing of it and move on
  1149. >Sweet Apple Acres comes into view
  1150. >You're about to step over the border when something yellow and fluffy slams into your side
  1151. >"Oh no, not again."
  1152. >Fluttershy stands over you, grinning maniacally and licking her lips
  1153. >"I-I have you now, Anon!"
  1154. >She giggles like a schoolgirl and tries to get your pants off
  1155. >You lie there and nurse your head while she fumbles with the buttons
  1156. >Discord speaks up
  1157. >"Anon?"
  1158. Yeah?
  1159. >"Think you should do something about this?"
  1160. I'm just thinking. We've got Jelly and Stone. How can we top that?
  1161. >"Hmm. That's a damn good question"
  1162. >You and Discord get to work trying to think of a suitable solution to Fluttershy
  1163. >Meanwhile, the mare has managed to get your pants half way down your legs and is trying to pull down your boxers as well
  1164. Turn her to ice?
  1165. >"Ehh. We need something more funny. Didn't we turn her into a monkey once?"
  1166. Oh yeah! Yesterday. But that was only funny once
  1167. >"True... True..."
  1168. >Fluttershy gets your boxers off and starts licking your flaccid dick, moaning while she does it
  1169. >The sudden warm air and tongue makes it stand to attention and Fluttershy squeals happily, then begins taking your entire length
  1170. >"Ok. Ok. Hows about this. We turn her into 6 different Fluttershys, 2 pegasi, 2 unicorns, 2 earth ponies, we give them each special talents, we FILM it, and release it to the public under the name "My Little Rapist"
  1171. Hmm... Wait. No. I have it
  1172. >"Go on?"
  1173. How about: We make her attracted her HERSELF
  1174. >"Genius"
  1175. >Before Fluttershy finish sucking you off you raise your hand at her and clear your throat
  1176. Hey Fluttershy
  1177. >She looks up, precum on her lips
  1178. >"Yes?"
  1179. Suck on this.
  1180. >You flash her with magic and she stumbles backwards
  1181. >Discord groans
  1182. >"That was terrible"
  1183. I know...
  1184. >Fluttershy shakes her head
  1185. >You take this time to pull your pants back up and dust yourself work
  1186. >After a while Fluttershy stares at you
  1187. >Then at her hooves
  1188. >Upon seeing her own hooves she blushes
  1189. >"O-oh my. H-hello!"
  1190. >"H-Hello..."
  1191. >"Umm... D-do you have a special somep0ny?"
  1192. >"N-no... Do you?"
  1193. >"No. Oh my goodness! Do you... umm. Want to me mine?"
  1194. >"Okay!"
  1195. >You watch in amazement as Fluttershy does the impossible
  1196. >She pounces on HERSELF and continue to literally go fuck herself.
  1197. >Discord starts clapping
  1198. >"Bravo, Anon! Bravo! You've managed to hurt even my chaotic mind! I don't fully understand how this is happening, but it is! Well done!"
  1199. >You beam proudly as Fluttershy fucks herself into orgasm then starts again, still managing to hurt your eyes and brain the longer you stare at it
  1200. How is she even...
  1201. >"Just don't, Anon. I'll need a moment to study these memories to make sense of it all."
  1202. >You shrug and leave the Fluttershy x Fluttershy OTP to fuck themselves into submission on the side of the road as you head towards Applejack's house
  1203. >The orchard is silent
  1204. >An ominous breezes rolls through, rustling the leaves and causing you to shudder
  1205. >Discord speaks up
  1206. >"Ok, I think I've finally figured it out. In order for Fluttershy to literally go and ahh, "do" herself, she created somekind of quantum field where physics don't apply."
  1207. So, like magic?
  1208. >"No, even magic has to abide by physics. Fluttershy actually broke the laws of the universe in order to fornicate herself. It's quite remarkable really."
  1209. Wait, magic abide by physics? Are you having me on?
  1210. >"Not at all. If you levitate a rock, it abides by physics because it's being held up by a magical field. Magic is just energy, Anon. Highly changable energy that taps into the thoughts and emotions of the user. It can do anything based off the brainwaves of the person or pony using the magic. Places a lot of strain on the mind if you use too much, hence why you get headaches when you overexert yourself"
  1211. ...Huh. You'd have to go into more detail there.
  1212. >"Later. We're here"
  1213. >You stop walking
  1214. >The farmhouse stands infront of you. It's windows covered with curtains, like Sugarcube Corner
  1215. >"You still sure you want to do this?"
  1216. We'll be fine, Discord. It's just Applejack. Hell we'll probably end up screwing each other.
  1217. >"RIGHT. WE'RE GOING BACK HOME. I'LL TAKE MY CHANCES WITH THE SWARM"
  1218. >Laugh
  1219. Relax, Discord. We're just going to hide out here. I trust Applehjack. And this place is far away from Ponyville. They won't think to look here
  1220. >"Yes they will."
  1221. Quiet, you.
  1222. >You knock on the door
  1223. >Granny Smith's voice comes from within
  1224. >"Wuzzat? Who is it?"
  1225. Uhh, It's Anon, Ms Smith!
  1226. >"Anon?! What're ya' doin' in Ponyville? It's not safe!"
  1227. Yeah, I know. Can I come in?
  1228. >"One secon'. Lemmie just unlock the door!"
  1229. >You hear 25 different locks get undone
  1230. >The door opens and Granny Smith peers out at you
  1231. >"Well colour me shocked! It IS you!"
  1232. >Discord decides to pitch in
  1233. >"You really should colour her. Colour her... Oh lets saaay... Black."
  1234. >Ignore him and step into the house
  1235. >Granny Smith smiles at you, her coat still green.
  1236. >"What can I get for ya', sonny?"
  1237. Nothing, thankyou. Is Applejack around?
  1238. >Granny Smith's face darkens
  1239. >"Now you listen here, boy. That girl is nothin' but trouble this time a' the year! You stay away from her. For both ye' sakes."
  1240. >She grumbles and shuffles into the kitchen
  1241. What was that all about?
  1242. >"Well she probably thinks that if you and Applejack get together today, you'll either bring down the house with your lovemaking, or conceive a child, or both. I don't think she wants Applejack getting pregnant. This is ESTRUS after all, Anon."
  1243. Well yeah, but we can't have babies! We're not even the same species!
  1244. >"Neither were my parents."
  1245. >Ah.
  1246. >"Do you really want to take the risk? I sure don't. Mainly because I don't want to see what kind of horrific spawn of Tirec comes out of Applejack when she gives birth, and also because I would rather die than see you two go at it again."
  1247. >Sit down on the sofa
  1248. So what do we do?
  1249. >"Stick to the plan. Stay down here and lay low."
  1250. >You hear some frantic steps come down the stairs
  1251. >A little yellow face peeks out from the banisters
  1252. >Her face lights up
  1253. >Discord squeals
  1254. >You smile
  1255. >"Ahnon!"
  1256. >Applebloom runs up to you and throws herself into your arms
  1257. >You cuddle her while Discord has a heart-attack
  1258. >"OOoooh she's so delightfully evil! Look at the way she masks her hatred for all that is good!"
  1259. >You tickle her belly and she giggles, then gets the hiccups
  1260. >Her face is shocked as she hiccups again
  1261. >"D'aww. She's trying to breathe fire!"
  1262. You have a messed up perception of how kids work.
  1263. >"Shut up. She's evil."
  1264. >"Ahnon? Who are ya talkin' to?"
  1265. The demon locked in my head.
  1266. >She stares at you
  1267. >Then starts giggling again
  1268. >"Oh Ahnon! You're so silly!"
  1269. >She hops off your lap and waddles into the kitchen to help Granny Smith with something
  1270. >Discord cries out
  1271. >"Wait! Don't go! We can teach you how to raise the dead!... Aww. She's gone..."
  1272. If you ever do get out of my head, I'm never letting you within a mile of that kid
  1273. >"You won't be able to stop me."
  1274. >You sit on that sofa for hours
  1275. >Applebloom draws you pictures, and Discord tries to interpret them as something else
  1276. >She draws you a picture of a stick man and a stick pony with a hat on, with a large pink heart over you both
  1277. >You smile at it
  1278. It's wonderful, Applebloom.
  1279. >Discord coos
  1280. >"Look! There's you and Applejack! And the giant flaming fireball coming from the sky about to incinerate you!"
  1281. That's a heart, Discord.
  1282. >"When I'm in charge again, all fireballs will look like that"
  1283. Why?
  1284. >"Give ponies a false sense of security before it hits them"
  1285. >He puts on a remarkably good impression of Twilight
  1286. >"Oh my! Look at that giant heart speeding towards me! I hope it loves me as much as I love my books! I'm such a dork! Books books books- BOOOOM."
  1287. >You try your hardest not to laugh
  1288. >Applebloom grins up at you
  1289. >Granny Smith is asleep and Applebloom finds you talking to Discord hilarious
  1290. >"Oh oh! Now what's he sayin'?"
  1291. I don't know! Discord? What are you saying?
  1292. >"I will take her under my wing and raise her to become the herald of the apocalypse. All shall tremble before her."
  1293. He says he likes your drawings
  1294. >Applebloom blushes
  1295. >Discord tuts
  1296. >"Why do you lie to children, Anon. What kind of sick monster are you?"
  1297. Shut up, Discord.
  1298. >Applebloom giggles
  1299. >You both D'awww
  1300. >Look at the clock
  1301. >8 o clock
  1302. >Applebloom yawns
  1303. >Discord gasps
  1304. >"She's suffering the effects of fatigue! Anon. It is your duty to raise this child as an agent of chaos. Get that child to bed and do NOT let me down."
  1305. >You sigh and shake your head, picking up a tired looking Applebloom from the floor
  1306. >She cuddles up to your chest as you climb the stairs on the way to her bedroom
  1307. You can't decide on whether or not you want to be serious, can you Discord? One minute you're all jokes the next you're all "Oooh lets indoctrinate this child!"
  1308. >"They don't call me DISCORD for nothing, Anon."
  1309. >Applebloom stirs
  1310. >"Ahnon? What's an indockynayshon?"
  1311. Nothing, dear. You just try and get some sleep
  1312. >You nudge open her door and lay her on her bed
  1313. >Smile down at her
  1314. >"Don't forget to tuck her in!"
  1315. You're a softy, Discord
  1316. >"THIS CHILD WILL BE RAISED PROPERLY IF SHE'S GOING TO BRING DOWN SOCIETY!"
  1317. >Applebloom's eyes are half closed
  1318. >She smiles sleepily at you
  1319. >"G'night, Ahnon..."
  1320. >"G'night... Discord..."
  1321. >Discord squee-gasms and you hear a slight thump in your head, indicating that he must have fall off his office chair
  1322. >You creep back out the door and gently close it
  1323. >Heading back towards the stairs you pass a door
  1324. >Applejack's room.
  1325. >Discord is silent. Must have passed out from how "evil" Applebloom was. You have to admit. She was incredibly "evil" when she was tired.
  1326. >You fiddle with your fingers and nervously look at the door
  1327. >Your reach towards the doorknob
  1328. >"What did ah tell ya', sonny?"
  1329. >You gasp and look towards the stairs
  1330. >Granny Smith is regarding you with an unnerving stare
  1331. >Stupid old people and their experienced glares
  1332. >You apologise again and head back downstairs
  1333. >She stops you on the way past
  1334. >She frowns at you
  1335. >"Ya'll can stay downstairs on the sofa. You an' uhh-"
  1336. >She points at your forehead
  1337. >"Him"
  1338. >She trots upstairs and into her own room
  1339. >You walk the rest of the way downstairs and lie on the sofa, thinking about the Apple family before you fall asleep
  1340.  
  1341. ---
  1342. Part 4
  1343. ---
  1344.  
  1345. >Day Estrus the Second in Equestria
  1346. >Wake up with an incredibly sore back
  1347. >That sofa wasn't made to be slept on by a human
  1348. >You groan and swing your legs off it, rubbing your head
  1349. >The house is silent; you can hear the chirping of birds outside and see the morning sun streaking in through the cracks in the curtains
  1350. >For a moment you enjoy the tranquillity of it all
  1351. >You almost forget why you're here to begin with
  1352. >Eventually your mind catches up with you
  1353. >Oh yeah. That's why.
  1354. >Creep over to the curtains and gently push one aside
  1355. >The farmyard is deserted, and no sign of any Estrus-burdened mares can be found
  1356. >Smile
  1357. >Looks like you're going to be safe here after all
  1358. >You notice the clock
  1359. >7:00
  1360. >Applejack would normally be up by now
  1361. >But given her... situation, you guess she can't go about her normal business
  1362. >You wish you could go up and see her
  1363. >But Granny Smith wouldn't agree.
  1364. >The sound of joints popping and a bestial growling classed as a yawn fills your mind
  1365. >And neither would he...
  1366. >"Ahh. Good morning, Anon."
  1367. Mornin'.
  1368. >"Something the matter?"
  1369. Yeah, I miss Applejack
  1370. >"Oh boo hoo. Go and make us some breakfast"
  1371. If you keep that tone of voice up, I might just go up and see her
  1372. >"Alright, alright. You've made your point."
  1373. >Walk into the kitchen to make some food
  1374. Think we should wake up Granny Smith?
  1375. >"Nah. Leave her be. The less out of the picture she is, the more we can concentrate on our mission"
  1376. Which is?
  1377. >"Preparing young Applebloom for her destiny"
  1378. My god, will you please let that go? She's not going to do it and she never will.
  1379. >"Don't be naive, Anon. Everyone is capable of chaos"
  1380. It's too early to talk about the inner-workings of the mind and a pony's capacity for good or evil
  1381. >"Nothing evil about Chaos. I've told you before how fair it is"
  1382. >Don't reply, instead start searching through various cupboards for things to eat
  1383. >"Oh come on, Anon. You know I'm right."
  1384. ...Being 'fair' isn't relative to what's morally right.
  1385. >"Hah! Oh, so now Celestia's got you talking about morals?"
  1386. No. That's just me. A fair society might be fair, but it might also be cruel. Full of "necessary evils".
  1387. >"Like what?"
  1388. >You think
  1389. >To your surprise, you can't come up with a counterpoint
  1390. >"Ahh. See? You know I'm right, deep down."
  1391. >Discord's voice lowers to a whisper, and he speaks as though he's talking straight into your ear
  1392. >"Soon you'll realise just how appealing a world of chaos really is."
  1393. >You try your best to concentrate on preparing food
  1394. >But Discord's voice gets louder in your ears
  1395. >"A world of true justice and freedom"
  1396. >You pull out some cereal from a cupboard
  1397. >"Beautiful"
  1398. >Pour it into a bowl
  1399. >"Happy"
  1400. >Try and find some milk, just as Discord's voice gets unbearably loud
  1401. >"FAIR."
  1402. STOP IT.
  1403. >"Ahnon? Who're ya talkin' to?"
  1404. >You spin around
  1405. >Applebloom is stood in the doorway, rubbing her eyes and stifling a yawn
  1406. Oh, uhh. Discord.
  1407. >She giggles
  1408. >"You an' yer funny imagination, Ahnon."
  1409. >Discord sounds shocked
  1410. >"What does she mean 'Imagination'? I'm real! Anon, tell her I'm real!"
  1411. >Grin
  1412. Yeah. My imagination is pretty wild, isn't it?
  1413. >"NOT COOL, ANON."
  1414. >You make Applebloom some breakfast and sit down at the table
  1415. >Discord is muttering to himself
  1416. >You make conversation with Applebloom
  1417. Sleep well?
  1418. >"Yeah. Woke up a coupl'a times, though."
  1419. Why?
  1420. >"Applejack keeps makin' noises..."
  1421. >You sigh
  1422. Yeah, she will this time of year, it seems.
  1423. >"Can you fix her?"
  1424. >Your heart swells
  1425. >Look at her sadly
  1426. I'm sorry, Applebloom. But she has to tough this one out, I'm afraid.
  1427. >Reach over the table and ruffle her mane
  1428. And so do you.
  1429. >Discord chuckles
  1430. >"Nice work, Anon. Toughening her up for her future duties"
  1431. Shut up, Discord
  1432. >Applebloom giggles
  1433. >"Ahm glad you an' 'Discord' are here. It's mighty borin' around here without Applejack... Ah can't find Sweetie Belle or Scootaloo neither!... Can ya'll stay with me?"
  1434. Ya'll?
  1435. >"You an Discord!"
  1436. >Smile
  1437. So he's not just my imagination, is he?
  1438. >"Nop0ny talks like that to their own thoughts. I reckon ya' really do have a big ol' spirit stuck in your head!"
  1439. >She gasps
  1440. >"Maybe ah can get my Cutie Mark in exorcism"
  1441. >Discord lets out a short laugh and you raise an eyebrow
  1442. That's a fancy word for an 8 year old.
  1443. >She scowls
  1444. >"Ahm 9 next week..."
  1445. Really? Well I'll be sure to get you a present
  1446. >Applebloom sits on your lap for the best part of an hour and you just sit there. Talking.
  1447. >Discord laughs at her adorable little statements, and you tease her, much to her chagrin
  1448. >Granny Smith comes downstairs about an hour later
  1449. >She hobbles into the kitchen and gives a stern look
  1450. >"Better not have been foolin' around with my granddaughter!"
  1451. Oh course not, Ms Smith.
  1452. >"Daaaarn tootin'! One more word .. an..."
  1453. >She walks out of the kitchen, still ranting quietly to herself.
  1454. >Discord clears his throat
  1455. >"Anon, that offer about throwing a pie at her is still on the table."
  1456. Shut up, Discord.
  1457. >Applebloom peers at you
  1458. >"Ahnon! We should make Applejack somethin' to eat!"
  1459. I guess, yeah.
  1460. >"Great! I'll go an' find somethin'"
  1461. >She trots around, searching through cupboards and pulling out various condiments that she can reach
  1462. >"You should make her sandwich, Anon."
  1463. Not a bad idea, Discord.
  1464. >"Out of nails and rat poison"
  1465. Why do you hate all that is good?
  1466. >"She imprisoned me in stone and made out with a stallion in front of me while I was on display at Canterlot Gardens."
  1467. ...You serious?
  1468. >Before he can reply Applebloom comes back
  1469. >"How about we make 'er a sandwich!"
  1470. >Discord chuckles
  1471. >"Yes... Darling Applebloom... Do go on!"
  1472. >"An' I reckon there should be apples on it!"
  1473. >"...Oh what the heck, she still has a long way to go"
  1474. >You and Applebloom prepare Applejack's meal while Discord gives you incredible ideas of what to slip on it
  1475. >"Ok ok, hear me out. What if we shrunk a cow down to the size of a grape, then put the cow on a sandwich!"
  1476. That's sick, Discord.
  1477. >"Oh come on! It would be hilarious! Applejack would have a little bovine running around her small intestine!"
  1478. I'm beginning to see why putting you in charge would mean the end of all things.
  1479. >"Pffft. Boring."
  1480. >Finally, your apple-sandwich is ready
  1481. >Applebloom looks at you
  1482. >"Ya'll think she'll like it?"
  1483. She'll love it, why don't you go and take it up to her now?
  1484. >"Sorry, Ahnon! But ah gotta find Scootaloo an’ Sweetie Belle! Gotta run!"
  1485. >She runs out the backdoor through your legs
  1486. >Uh oh
  1487. >Ok, don't panic. It's just Applejack.
  1488. >Look out into the living room
  1489. >Granny Smith is snoozing away in her chair
  1490. >You don't want to wake her
  1491. Shit shit shit
  1492. >"Might I offer a suggestion?"
  1493. Please do!
  1494. >"Let her starve to death!"
  1495. ...WHY
  1496. >"Sounds like a good time! Come on, Anon. Get into the spirit of things!"
  1497. What spirit is there in murder?!
  1498. >"Oh come on, you can always bring her back from the dead!"
  1499. That's fuc- wait, what?
  1500. >"Sure. Just snap your fingers and bring her back, good as new."
  1501. No catch?
  1502. >"Of course! I used to do it all the time!"
  1503. Discord that's just... Horrible. I mean I can't even begin to imagine how horrific your rule must have been.
  1504. >"Come now! It was funny! I would have a group of ponies fight a group of hungry tigers and the winners got to live! Where's the harm in that!"
  1505. What about the losers?
  1506. >"Well they would live as well. I wouldn't allow them to die."
  1507. You're worse than Hitler.
  1508. >"Not at all. "Hitler" let them stay dead. Nop0ny died under my rule."
  1509. And how long were you in power, exactly?
  1510. >"Oooh, I don't know... 600 years?"
  1511. I... Just shut up, Discord.
  1512. >"Alright, I'll just be searching through your childhood memories again. Lotta good ones in here"
  1513. Oh for fucks sake.
  1514. >You pick up the plate the sandwich is sat on and head towards the stairs
  1515. >"Heh. You were so sickeningly cute back then! Ohh and you still used to wet the bed at 10! HAH!"
  1516. I hate you so much it's unreal.
  1517. >"Stop being such a downer. Learn to laugh at life!"
  1518. Try telling that to the ponies you ruled over for 600 fucking years.
  1519. >"You've become colder over the last few days, Anon. More jaded. What's to do?"
  1520. >You start to ascend the stairs
  1521. You really wanna know? You. You're driving me mad with this non-stop lunacy. Why can't you just settle down? For ONE DAY. JUST LEAVE ME ALONE FOR ONE DAY.
  1522. >"...You sure you want to do this? Hm? A whooole day with without daddy Discord looking over your shoulder and guiding you?"
  1523. >His tone has become much sterner. More absolute.
  1524. I got on fine without you before. I don't even need you!
  1525. >"And what about your magic? Think you can go without them to?"
  1526. My magic is my own, Discord. You have no control over them.
  1527. >"Very well, Anon. Have it your way. Good bye."
  1528. >His cheerful attitude all but gone, Discord's voice fades from your mind
  1529. >No papers shuffling
  1530. >No noise
  1531. >No breathing
  1532. >Just silence
  1533. >You're stood at the top of the stairs facing Applejack's door quietly
  1534. >He's really gone
  1535. >You sigh happily and knock on the door
  1536. Applejack? It's me, Anon
  1537. >Nothing
  1538. AJ?
  1539. >You grip the doorknob and push the door open
  1540. >Applejack is led on her bed, facing away from the door
  1541. >You settle the plate down on her bedside cabinet and start to close the door
  1542. Something for you to eat. Ok?
  1543. >No reply
  1544. >You rap your fingers on the doorframe nervously
  1545. >No harm in just seeing if she's ok
  1546. >You walk through door and shut it behind you
  1547. >Walk over to the side of the bed AJ is facing
  1548. >She's staring at the wall, motionless
  1549. >She blinks and looks up at you, sorrowfully
  1550. Heeey...
  1551. >Crouch down and touch her cheek
  1552. >She smiles slightly
  1553. >"Hey... Pardner..."
  1554. How are you holding up?
  1555. >"Not too good. That a san’wich ah can smell?"
  1556. Yup. Gotta feed you while you're stuck in here, you know.
  1557. >Applejack's smile gets wider
  1558. >She still looks tired though
  1559. >"It's awful, Anon."
  1560. >Stroke her mane
  1561. I know, AJ. I know.
  1562. >She sighs and motions for you to come closer
  1563. >You comply and embrace her
  1564. >She nuzzles your chest and giggles
  1565. >"Ya sure do smell good, Anon."
  1566. >Uh oh
  1567. >"Ya sure ya don' wanna stay a lil' longer?"
  1568. Sorry, AJ. I can't touch you
  1569. >She growls slightly
  1570. >Woah
  1571. >"Why not? Why am ah not allowed to touch mah own boyfriend durin' all this?"
  1572. It's not that... It's just... Granny Smith said I'm not allowed to go near you during this time. Because you might... Get pregnant
  1573. >Applejack gives you a deadpan look
  1574. >"Anon. Are ya really that dim?"
  1575. >She chuckles
  1576. >"Ponies n Humans can't have foals. We're not exactly alike"
  1577. >Grin sheepishly
  1578. Yeah... I guess it's pretty crazy. But I can do magic! Who's to say I can't get you pregnant during this time?
  1579. >"Ah'm ta' say."
  1580. What-
  1581. >And with that, Applejack plants her lips on yours, pulling you down onto her bed with her.
  1582. >Several minutes later you both lie next to each other, panting.
  1583. >You grin when you remember how mad Discord will be after that
  1584. >But still, not a peep from the guy
  1585. >How strange
  1586. >Applejack coos
  1587. >"That was mighty fine, Anon. Ah needed that."
  1588. >She cuddles up to you, nuzzling your side
  1589. >"An' don' you worry none. Ah won't have any foals"
  1590. >She chuckles again
  1591. >"So what did HE think about that? Think he's ready for round two?"
  1592. Actually, he's gone.
  1593. >She sits up, concern on her face
  1594. >"What, GONE gone?"
  1595. Kinda. We had an fight and since then I haven't even heard him breath. He never made a sound throughout that whole thing
  1596. >Applejack frowns
  1597. >"Ah'm sure it'll be fine but... He's in there ta begin with because ya head makes a fine prison."
  1598. I know, I know... But it's... Unnerving. What's he planning?
  1599. >"Can't say ah know, Anon. Discord ran rings around me an mah friends. There's no tellin' what he's doin'. Ah know ya probably know this, but remember, Anon. Discord is a pony of his word. Some kinda sick honesty runs through that thing's veins"
  1600. Sick honesty?
  1601. >"Sure. He'll say things an' mean it in the most literal sense. Like when he tricked us inta walkin' inta the maze. He never actually said the elements were in there. He's a smart one, that's fer sure. Don't you go underestimatin' 'im, Anon. He's smarter than he lets on."
  1602. >Now you're the one frowning
  1603. >He could be listening right now, just not showing it.
  1604. >Whatever he's doing, Discord just got a whole lot more sinister
  1605. Do you... Think he can do anything to me?
  1606. >"Ah don' know, Sugarcube. The Princess put 'im in here 'cause you're bad fer magic, or somethin'. He shouldn't be able to hurt ya. Worst he can do is talk."
  1607. That's what I'm afraid of.
  1608. >You and Applejack exit her room and go downstairs, making sure not to wake up Granny on the way past
  1609. >"D'ya think she'll be mad at me?"
  1610. She will if you get knocked up. Let’s hope nature doesn't hate us
  1611. >Applejack grins and trots out the door
  1612. >You follow her and quietly shut it after you
  1613. >Once outside you stretch and yawn
  1614. Man, I'm glad to be out there. It's a great house, AJ. But I like to get out.
  1615. >"Ah know how you feel, sugarcube. Let’s go grab a bite to eat. Not much around here"
  1616. What about the thousands of apples?
  1617. >"...Ah wanna cupcake"
  1618. No. Trust me, AJ. It's a bad idea going into town. Plus... Uhh.... Oh.
  1619. >You haven't told her about Twilight or Pinkie Pie.
  1620. >Or Fluttershy
  1621. >"What?"
  1622. >She turns on you, a stern look on her face
  1623. >"Anon. Look at me"
  1624. >You lock your eyes with hers
  1625. >"What did ya do?"
  1626. >Welp. No point lying.
  1627. I turned Twilight into jelly and shattered her, turned Pinkie Pie into stone then broke her as well, placed them both in buckets for reconstruction then just left the buckets lying around and made Fluttershy literally go fuck herself.
  1628. >Applejack stares at you
  1629. >"Well... Uhh. At least ya bein' honest?"
  1630. Relax. I can put them back together, I think.
  1631. >She sighs
  1632. >"Guess we gotta find those buckets then, huh?"
  1633. Yup. But seriously, we see a single pony and we're gone. Kapeesh?
  1634. >"Bless ya."
  1635. >You lead Applejack down the path from Sweet Apple Acres to where you think you put Pinkie Pie's bucket
  1636. >To your shock, Pinkie Pie is lying next to the bucket, un-stoned and completely whole again, sleeping.
  1637. >Applejack looks at you
  1638. >"Ah thought ya said she was IN the bucket?"
  1639. She was...
  1640. >You both walk over and look down at the snoozing Pinkie Pie
  1641. >Nudge her with a foot
  1642. >She snorts and slowly comes to
  1643. >"Huh? Oh, Hiya, Anny! Hi Applejack!"
  1644. >"Heya, Pinkie"
  1645. ...Hi
  1646. >Pinkie Pie's smile widens
  1647. >"What's up, Anny? Was yesterday too much fun for ya?"
  1648. >She winks at you
  1649. >With eyes, you dirty bastard.
  1650. >Applejack gives you another look
  1651. >"Mind explainin' Anon?"
  1652. I already told you. I snap-froze her and blew her up. Putting all the pieces in that bucket.
  1653. >You motion at the bucket with "Pinkie Pie" written on it for emphasis
  1654. >Applejack raises an eyebrow
  1655. >"Pinkie? Mind tellin' me what happened?"
  1656. >She beams
  1657. >"Okie dokie lokie!"
  1658. >Pinkie Pie then begins her tale
  1659. >It's an engaging story full of twists and turns. An adventure about a young colt journeying to the forbidden lands to destroy a magic horseshoe in the fires of Mount Coom.
  1660. >She finishes 30 minutes later, you're sat cross-legged on the floor with Applejack resting against your chest, both of you staring glassy eyed at Pinkie while she speaks
  1661. >"And that, Nonny. Is how I became trapped inside this bucket"
  1662. >Rather than bothering to ask what actually happened, you pick up Applejack under your arm and walk off, saying goodbye to Pinkie as you walk away.
  1663. >Applejack is quiet
  1664. >"Anon?"
  1665. Yo.
  1666. >"...D'ya really think Little Hoof managed to get back to the Shire?"
  1667. None of that happened, Applejack.
  1668. >"Oh"
  1669. >You head towards Twilight's Library, Applejack now trotting alongside you
  1670. >"So lemmie get this straight, you an' that demon up there had the bright idea to turn Twilight inta JELLY?"
  1671. Yeah. It was awesome. For like, 4 seconds.
  1672. >"Then what?"
  1673. Let's just say that me and Twilight tangled, and things got sticky. I'll need to wash off the shame later.
  1674. >Applejack gawps at you
  1675. >"WE'RE YOU HAVIN' IT ON WITH ANOTHER MARE?!"
  1676. What? No! I got covered in jelly then blew her up.
  1677. >"Oh... Uhh, sorry."
  1678. It's ok. She also nearly raped me.
  1679. >"WHAT THE- WHY THAT LITTLE- OOooh Ah'm gonna have a talk with that unicorn."
  1680. Come on, Applejack! It's estrus! Give her a break!
  1681. >Applejack storms ahead
  1682. >"NO! NO MARE TOUCHES MY MAN!"
  1683. >You smile proudly and watch her kick open the library door
  1684. I tapped that.
  1685. >You run after her before she can severely harm the Princess' personal student.
  1686.  
  1687. >"AH DON' CARE, TWILIGHT. YOU DON'T TOUCH 'IM, YA HEAR?"
  1688. >"Applejack, please! You know how hard it is!"
  1689. >"Yeah, ah do! But at least ah had the decency to restrain mahself and lock mahself in mah room!"
  1690. >"Then why are you out here now?"
  1691. >You walk through the door in time to see Applejack look your way and smile with a blush on her face
  1692. >"Anon helped me out."
  1693. >Twilight is now fuming
  1694. >"Y-you HYPOCRIT! You tell me to restrain myself then go and use him for your own personal gain? I can't believe you!"
  1695. >"Ah'm not 'usin' 'im if he's willin', right, Anon?"
  1696. Uhh, She's right, Twi. Me and AJ have been a thing for a while now.
  1697. >Twilight is shocked
  1698. >"Seriously? You and... Her?"
  1699. >Applejack turns back to Twilight, her eyes narrowing again
  1700. >"Waddya mean, 'HER'?"
  1701. Guys, come on. Calm down. This whole estrus thing is hard for everyone, I can imagine.
  1702. >They both try to relax
  1703. I got chased out of my own home, Applejack locked herself in her room and wouldn't eat, Twilight lost her mind. Hell, every mare in this town lost it. Yesterday morning I was stood on my roof turning anything that came near me into sheep.
  1704. >The two mares give you incredulous looks.
  1705. >"...Sheep"
  1706. Hey, don't look at me. It was Discord's idea.
  1707. >You all stand in silence for a while
  1708. Estrus fucking sucks
  1709. >"Eeyup"
  1710. >"Yeah..."
  1711. So what now?
  1712. >Twilight muses
  1713. >"Hmm... Who else did you run into yesterday, Anon?"
  1714. Ugh. Fluttershy.
  1715. >"What did you do to her?"
  1716. I made her go fuck herself.
  1717. >"What, like literally?"
  1718. Yeah. It hurt to watch.
  1719. >Twilight sighs
  1720. >"Guess we'd better go sort her out."
  1721. >You all poke your heads out the library door
  1722. Is the coast clear?
  1723. >Applejack squints and studies the area
  1724. >"Looks that way, sugar."
  1725. >Twilight clears her throat
  1726. >"You know, Anon. If you ever need some uhh, release..."
  1727. >Applejack slaps her
  1728. >"Mah man."
  1729. >"Sorry. Estrus."
  1730. >You all sneak through town, sticking to the shadows and avoiding Estrus-crazed mares who are lumbering around like some kind of sexy zompocalypse
  1731. >Applejack prods your leg while you all hide under a cart from a large mob of slowly moving, moaning mares
  1732. >"Pssst, hey, Anon. Why not just use magic to distract 'em?"
  1733. Oh yeah.
  1734. >You raise a hand at them and imagine a hologram of a stallion dancing in a hula-skirt
  1735. >Nothing
  1736. Uh oh.
  1737. >Twilight shuffles on her belly over to you
  1738. >"What's wrong?"
  1739. Uhh. I can't magic.
  1740. >"WHAT?!"
  1741. >You clasp a hand over her mouth
  1742. >She starts licking your palm and blushing
  1743. >Applejack reaches over your back and slaps her head
  1744. >Remove your hand
  1745. >"So salty... Uhh. Sorry. Estrus. What do you mean you can't do magic?"
  1746. Well nothing's happening
  1747. >"Is there something wrong with your horn?"
  1748. I don't have a horn, genius.
  1749. >"I beg to differ~"
  1750. >Appleslap
  1751. >"OW! Ugh. Ok, you can't do magic. Let's just make a break for it when they've gone past"
  1752. >You all watch the mob of mares lumber on past, groaning and dripping
  1753. God damn your species is gross.
  1754. >Appleslap
  1755. Ow.
  1756. >Once they're all gone you get out from under the cart and sprint towards the edge of town
  1757. >You duck behind trees and avoid stray mares
  1758. >You jump into bushes
  1759. >You hide behind low walls
  1760. >You force Applejack and Twilight to make out while you use them as cover
  1761. >It's awesome.
  1762. >Eventually you all get to Fluttershy's cottage
  1763. >You stand looking at it, your hands on your hips, Twilight to the right of you and Applejack to the left
  1764. >Twilight speaks up
  1765. >"Anon? If we don't make it-"
  1766. Lemmie just stop you right there, because you're starting to sound like Fluttershy.
  1767. >"Sorry... Estrus..."
  1768. >Applejack shakes her head and sighs
  1769. >She doesn't even both to slap Twilight
  1770. >Truly, this Estrus has made us all empty shells of what we once were
  1771. >You stroll up to the door and knock thrice
  1772. >The door opens, and you get knocked back by a wall of musk strong enough to have a physical effect on objects
  1773. >Fluttershy walks through the door, with bagged eyes, a frazzled mane and a dopey grin
  1774. >"Ohh.. Hey, baby. How're YOU doin?"
  1775. What.
  1776. >Applejack and Twilight both go "huh?"
  1777. >Fluttershy continues, talking in a slow drawl
  1778. >"You guys come round to chill? S'cool, I guess. Come on in."
  1779. >She turns and slowly walks back inside
  1780. >You give the other two mares a bewildered look
  1781. Uhh. Ok then.
  1782. >You motion for them to follow you, and you try not to gag as you step into Fluttershy's house
  1783. >The stench is unreal. Like 40 orgies happened at once.
  1784. Fluttershy-
  1785. >You break into a fit of coughing while she looks at you with the gaze of a pony that just smoked a thousand blunts
  1786. >During 40 orgies
  1787. What is that SMELL?!
  1788. >Twilight and Applejack are also struggling to stay stood up right
  1789. >Fluttershy's smile gets more lopsided
  1790. >"Nothin' much, baby. Just got it all outta my system, ya know?"
  1791. WHAT?
  1792. >"Your speeeeell, maaaan! It was crazy. I haven't slept since then. It stopped this mornin' and I just led on my bed, ya know?"
  1793. >She stares into space
  1794. >And doesn't stop
  1795. >Snap your fingers
  1796. Focus, 'Shy. What do you mean it stopped this morning?
  1797. >"Weeell... I was anally hoofing myself, 'cause, ya know, it's awesome."
  1798. >You, Twilight and Applejack shudder
  1799. >"And I just kinda stopped doing it. Felt kinda weird doing it all of a sudden."
  1800. >Twilight staggers up to Fluttershy
  1801. >"Anon said you fucked yourself, is this what he meant?"
  1802. >Fluttershy laughs
  1803. >Incredibly slowly
  1804. >"Yeah, mare. Just kinda realised how beautiful I am, ya know? I had to get me a piece of that ass."
  1805. >While Fluttershy drawls on about how many fetishes and positions she did with herself, you're putting the pieces together
  1806. >Just as Fluttershy is about to tell an uncomfortably eager looking Twilight about the secret of the perfect orgasm, you interrupt
  1807. >Twilight groans
  1808. I think I've got it. Twilight, when did you stop being jelly?
  1809. >"This morning, why?"
  1810. That must be it then. You, Pinkie and Fluttershy must have returned back to normal when my magic wore off!
  1811. >Fluttershy laughs slowly again
  1812. >"Maaan, the audience already figured that out ages ago..."
  1813. What?
  1814. >"Nothin', man. Listen, I gotta go look after some animals. It's pretty crazy. I'm out, peace."
  1815. >With that she flies into a wall, laughs, and flies out the window next to her
  1816. >You, Twilight and Applejack stand in stunned silence
  1817. >Applejack slowly speaks up
  1818. >"Uhh. Anon? Did you break Fluttershy?"
  1819. I might have broken Fluttershy.
  1820. >"Thought so..."
  1821. >You all walk out of her house, not saying a word to each other
  1822. >A noise to your left causes you all to watch Fluttershy licking a tree and talking to Angel Bunny about how beautiful life is
  1823. >TS: "Anon. Can you make me appreciate life like that?"
  1824. >Appleslap
  1825. >TS: "Ow"
  1826. >AJ: "Come on, ya'll. Let’s go"
  1827. Where are we heading?
  1828. >AJ: "Anyplace that isn't here. I need ta get that smell outta my nose."
  1829. >You and Twilight agree
  1830. >One last look over your shoulder as you follow AJ and Twilight shows Fluttershy braiding her hair with flowers and singing
  1831. >Have you ever been fucked so hard you turned into a hippy?
  1832. >Well Fluttershy has.
  1833. >You all walk in silence down the road towards your ruined house
  1834. >As it comes closer, you see shattered windows, broken doors and a ruined garden
  1835. >You sigh
  1836. >Applejack pats you on the leg sympathetically
  1837. >"It's ok, sugarcube. We can fix it once this is all over."
  1838. It's not just that...
  1839. >Twilight and AJ look at you
  1840. >TS: "What's wrong?"
  1841. >It has been nagging you all day.
  1842. >Ever since you lost your magic, and he left, you've felt a great sense of loneliness.
  1843. >As much as you hate to admit it, you felt like something was missing without him there to watch over you and help you out whenever you needed him
  1844. >He knew you better than anyone else, knew what to expect from you and you from him
  1845. >And try as you might, you can't help but say
  1846. I miss Discord...
  1847. >Twilight and AJ share a look
  1848. >AJ: "You serious?"
  1849. I can't help it, guys. He's just always there for me. He can be annoying as hell, and he pries into my darkest thoughts and reads them like a morning paper, but I miss him! He's funny. He's wise and intelligent and I miss him"
  1850. >TS: "You do realise that he probably doesn't feel the same way. It IS Discord, Anon."
  1851. >A deep chuckle resonates throughout your skull
  1852. >You hear the cracking of joints
  1853. >A long, bestial yawn
  1854. >And papers shuffling
  1855. >You feel a massive smile grow on your face
  1856. >Twilight's eyes widen
  1857. >TS: "Oh no."
  1858. >"Ahhh... I missed you too, Anon. Now let’s go practice magic."
  1859. >You let loose a maniacal cackle and before she can react, you turn Twilight into a toilet.
  1860. >Applejack screams and runs off as you snap your fingers, fixing your windows and front door
  1861. >Toilet Sparkle flaps her seat angrily
  1862. Oh put a lid on it, Sparkle.
  1863. >Discord roars with laughter and you grin, snapping your fingers and teleporting Twilight back to her Library.
  1864. >You summon some popcorn and eat it as you sit on the roof of your house, playing with the clouds in the sky
  1865. >"Hey Anon."
  1866. Yeah, Discord?
  1867. >"Sorry for shouting."
  1868. I'm sorry for getting mad at you.
  1869. >"Friends?"
  1870. Friends.
  1871. >"Now turn that cloud into a penis."
  1872.  
  1873. The End.

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