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[FLUTTERRAPE] Anon and Discord's Merry Adventures

By Nebulus
Created: 17th December 2020 05:25:50 PM

  1. Originally uploaded to Pastebin: December 13th, 2012
  2. ---
  3. (Part 1 in a series)
  4.  
  5. >Day 10 in Equestria
  6. >Wake up with a headache again
  7. >This always happens in the morning
  8. >Just another side effect
  9. >Groggily get out bed and drag your feet on the way to the bathroom
  10. >Rub your eyes with your hand and stare at the mirror
  11. >Start slowly brushing teeth and preparing to shave
  12. >Wake up as the routine goes on, ending with a hot shower to prepare you for the day
  13. >Walk downstairs and pour some cereal
  14. >Stare at it for a while
  15. >These last few days have been weird
  16. >Not so much that you're in a magical world filled with talking horses and are now living in a house too small for you
  17. >Nor is it because you get harassed daily by the Avatar of Kindness
  18. >No. It's a little bit more complicated than that
  19. >Decide to eat the cereal then head out the door
  20. >Gotta get to Applejack's early for work
  21. >Feels mundane, man.
  22. >The work isn't too hard. This world is somehow "softer" than Earth. Kicking trees doesn't shatter your bones like it should do
  23. >And ponies have a hard time pushing you around since you're twice their height and according to Rainbow Dash after kicking you: "Are harder than concrete"
  24. >Sigh and walk down the road
  25. >Stop for a second to look at Sweet Apple Acres
  26. >Smile
  27. >It never fails to make you smile
  28. >"Never fails to make me sick"
  29. Oh there you are. Sleeping in again?
  30. >"You wouldn't understand, monkey-boy."
  31. >Let out a frustrated sigh and carry on towards the farm
  32. >Life would have been simple here.
  33. >But fate had other plans, or rather, Celestia did
  34. >Because now you have the God of Chaos living in your head
  35.  
  36. 1/14
  37.  
  38. I just want a nice easy day today, man. Can't you give me that?
  39. >"First of all, I'm not a 'Man'. I'm a Draconequus. Second of all, you have no idea how boring it is up here."
  40. Yeah well, I'm just as pissed off as you are. It wasn't exactly my choice for this to happen.
  41. >It was pretty unfortunate, how it happened
  42. >Upon arriving in Equestria, the first thing you saw was Celestia.
  43. >She noticed that apart from being physically superior to most creatures in Equestria, bar Dragons and Hydras and the like-
  44. >You also acted as an extraordinarily powerful magic block
  45. >With this in mind, she told you that rather than risk Discord breaking free of his stone prison again, trapping him within you would render all his powers utterly useless, given your anti-magical nature
  46. >He would spend the rest of his days inside your mind and body, unable to break out or use his powers of reality bending
  47. >All you would need to do is put up with him until you died
  48. >She also had to mention that by essentially becoming "one" with an Elder God, you also inherited immortality.
  49. >Yeah, you were pretty pissed about the whole thing
  50. >It's not so bad though, he spends most of his time complaining about how stupid ponies are and sleeping
  51. >Sometimes he even offers advice on situations, though it's not always-
  52. >"You should throw a pie at Granny Smith. She'll love it!"
  53. >-Helpful.
  54. I ain't doing that, Discord.
  55. >"Oh come on, don't be boring! I'm feeling rather creative today, and with my brains and your lack of, we can prank this town till the cows come home!"
  56. That's a horrible idea. I'm not here to cause trouble, I just want to live my life.
  57. >"Pssh. So boring. When I first got here I thought you would be more fun than ponies. Guess I was wrong"
  58. Hey! I'm loads of fun when I want to be, but throwing pies at infirm old ladies isn't the way to have fun.
  59.  
  60.  
  61. 2/14
  62.  
  63. >"I should start calling you Boreanon"
  64. Don't.
  65. >"Lord of all Boredom"
  66. Shut up
  67. >"With his wife, Boreyella"
  68. Discord-
  69. >"And a little pet dog called Borver"
  70. SHUT UP!
  71. >"Nope."
  72. >You argue with God for a little while longer until you reach Sweet Apple Acres, where you're met with Applejack.
  73. >"Mornin' Anon!"
  74. >"Oh no, not her again..."
  75. We work here, Discord. Of course we're going to see her again.
  76. >"Who are ya-... Oh. Is HE givin' ya' lip again?"
  77. Aye.
  78. >Discord does a childish, yet accurate imitation of Applejack in your head
  79. >You try not to smirk while she tells you what to do
  80. >"So then ah want you to help me out in the western fields, can ya' do that?"
  81. Sure thing.
  82. >Applejack smiles at you
  83. >"Thanks, Anon. It's real great to have ya' around to help"
  84. >She blushes a little
  85. >"Ah like havin' ya around"
  86. Well ok then.
  87. >Set off towards the barn to get your gear
  88. >"Monkey Man?"
  89. Yeah?
  90. >"You're the most oblivious being in all of creation"
  91. Oh what now?
  92. >"You honestly can't see that she's falling for you?"
  93. Why would she do that?
  94. >Look back over your shoulder
  95. >Applejack quickly looks away and pretends to sort out some barrels
  96. >"Well you know these country types. They'll jump at anything with a set of legs and a personality"
  97. >You sniff
  98. >"Or lack of, in your case."
  99.  
  100. 3/14
  101.  
  102. I can be personal if I want to be
  103. >"You have no idea what I just said, do you?"
  104. Nah
  105. >You hear him sigh and mutter something about not deserving this punishment
  106. >Sort out your stuff in the barn while you listen to him pine after his lovely stone prison
  107. >Turn to the door and see Applejack staring at you
  108. >"Oh, uhh, hey there, Anon! I was just uhh..."
  109. >She trails off and looks at the floor
  110. >Remember what Discord said about her
  111. Hey, AJ... Do you wanna hang out after work?
  112. >She looks up so fast you fear her neck would snap
  113. >"Would ah ever!"
  114. Great! I guess I'll meet you here then after we're done
  115. >Applejack nods frantically and then prances off with a spring to her step
  116. >"Told you she was into you."
  117. You know, Discord. You aren't so bad for being of chaos.
  118. >"The moment I convince you to get me out of this body I will lay waste to everything you ever looked at"
  119. Well that's not very nice.
  120. >"Gee, you think?"
  121. >Go about your day kicking trees and catching apples
  122. >Discord tells you tales of his days as a tyrannical ruler over the lowly pony
  123. >He's quite the bard
  124. See, what I don't get is this, you have all this power. Why not use it for good like Celestia
  125. >He laughs
  126. >"You think Celestia is GOOD?"
  127. You mean she isn't?
  128. >"Kid, if Celestia was gone, along with her moody sister, the Sun and Moon would return to their natural cycles. As would the seasons.
  129. They control the seasons as well?
  130. >"Of course! They control everything. This world was once wild and untamed, much like your world, with it's random thunderstorms and natural disasters"
  131. >You forgot that he could sift through your memories at will
  132. >He absolutely loves Earth
  133. >"Ahh, I wish I could visit your world. All that senseless violence. All that random devestation"
  134. >You hear him choking up
  135. >"I-it's beautiful"
  136. Are you crying?
  137. >"N-no."
  138.  
  139. 4/14
  140.  
  141. So you just love chaos that much, huh?
  142. >"There's order in chaos, my friend."
  143. >Friend. That's a new one
  144. >"A world of chaos is a world of balance and TRUE harmony. Not this sappy "Friendship" nonsense that Celestia conjured up to control the population"
  145. >"When I'm back in charge, I'm going to make Equestria like Earth"
  146. Seriously?
  147. >"Maybe you don't see it, Anon. Because you grew up in it. But Earth is my ideal world. It's ordered enough to have routines and control the chaos"
  148. >"But when that chaos actually happens, BOY does it happen. Like an Earthquake. Everyone across the globe stops and stares and cries "oh no!", then the "order" of the world sets everything right again"
  149. >"It means that when it happens, chaos is that much sweeter. And the randomness of it all is a thing of beauty"
  150. >You stopped working to listen to his little speech
  151. >You stare absentmindedly at a tree
  152. So what you're saying is... Earth is the perfect world?
  153. >"Yes"
  154. Not an ordered, peaceful world like Equestria?
  155. >"Too much order is a terrible thing, Anon. Chaos is the spice of life"
  156. >You're so wrapped up in though that you fail to notice the tree looking at you
  157. >Glance at it after a moment
  158. >Stare at the tree
  159. >The tree's teal blue eyes stare back
  160. >Blink
  161. >Tree Blink
  162. >Cough
  163. >Tree Cough
  164. Wh-
  165. >"IT'S FLUTTERSHY, YOU IMBECILE!"
  166. Oh. Hi Fluttershy.
  167. >"H-hello, Anon!"
  168.  
  169. 5/14
  170.  
  171. So uhh, You're a tree, huh?
  172. >Discord screams in frustration
  173. >"Y-yes, are they your fetish"
  174. Nope.
  175. >"Oh, ok..."
  176. >You and the tree stand around awkwardly for a while
  177. >Eventually the tree speaks up
  178. >"W-what IS your fetish?"
  179. Dunno.
  180. >More awkward silence
  181. >"By the other Gods, it's like you two were made for eachother. One gormless idiot meets another. A match made in heaven"
  182. Shut up, Discord
  183. >"O-oh! Is Discord in there with you?"
  184. >She looks more nervously at you
  185. >"Hi... Discord"
  186. >"Tell her I hate her"
  187. He says hi.
  188. >"Well umm... I'll just be going then..."
  189. >The tree uproots itself and walks away on it's newfound legs
  190. >You scratch your head, trying to figure out what you just saw
  191. >Discord moans
  192. >"Anon, I never thought I'd say this. But can you PLEASE get back to your boring job?"
  193. Oh ok.
  194. >Kick trees in silence for the rest of the afternoon
  195. >As the imprisoned Sun casts an orange glow across the valley, you drag your last bucket full of apples next to the rest
  196. >Look around for AJ
  197. >See her peeping at you from behind a barrel
  198. >Wave at her
  199. >She jumps, as if startled that you found her amazing hiding spot
  200. >She walks over nervously and stops at your feet
  201. >"Golly... Uhh, I've never really done this before?"
  202. Done what? We're just hanging out.
  203. >"R-right... Right..."
  204. >You both shuffle your feet and fidget
  205. >"I don't know how you did it, Monkey. But you actually managed to out-awkward Fluttershy. Well done."
  206. S-shut up Discord
  207.  
  208. 6/14
  209.  
  210. >Applejack looks at you
  211. >"Don't you be givin' Anon any trouble, ya hear, ya big ugly brute?"
  212. >"Ouch. That stung. Not"
  213. Real mature, Discord.
  214. >Applejack glares, then grins at you with renewed confidence
  215. >"Come on, Anon! Lets show that motherless monster a good night out!"
  216. >"You know, I never told you about my mother..."
  217. >You and Applejack walk happily into Ponyville, laughing at each other's jokes and remarks and just enjoying each other's company.
  218. >"So then, ah told him I'd never date a stallion with an attitude like that!"
  219. >You burst out laughing
  220. >This whole time, Discord was reciting tales of his mother
  221. >"...Of course, being with the Father Equestria can't have been easy. He was the creator of all you see, and she was just a demon. But they made it work, you know?"
  222. >He sniffs
  223. >"They made it work..."
  224. >Smile at the idea of a demon and a mound of soil getting it on
  225. >"MY FATHER WAS NOT A MOUND OF SOIL. TAKE IT BACK!"
  226. Nope.
  227. >Applejack looks at you
  228. >"Sorry?"
  229. Oh, Discord was just being silly.
  230. >"Ah..."
  231. >Her face falls a bit
  232. >"Does he hate everyp0ny? Ah mean he's been around us fer a long enough time. I'd a' thought he'd a' changed"
  233. >"I want her head on my desk by nightfall"
  234. No, he's warming up to you all.
  235.  
  236. 7/14
  237.  
  238. >You and AJ walk around town, buying food and laughing
  239. >Both of you start getting tired so you decide to walk her back to the farm
  240. >She's oddly quiet on the walk back
  241. >Glance at her
  242. >She's walking along with a massive smile on her face, her eyes half lidded from tiredness.
  243. >You reach the front door of her house and she turns to face you
  244. >"Ah had a real great time, tonight, Anon. Thanks"
  245. >She blushes under the moonlight and looks you in the eyes
  246. >You can't help but stare into hers
  247. >Such beautiful green eyes
  248. >You hold each other's gazes for a few minutes, content in each other's company
  249. >Eventually the silence is broken
  250. >On your end, anyway
  251. >"OH JUST KISS HER FOR GOODNESS SAKE"
  252. >Lean forward and lock your lips with hers
  253. >Well, Discord was right about one thing. She was certainly into you.
  254. >She fully engrosses herself in the kiss, moaning slightly
  255. >It's wonderful
  256. >"It's gross. Just break off already and we can go home. I want to sleep and forget this ever happened"
  257. >You break the kiss slightly so you have room to breathe
  258. >You gasp between breaths
  259. Shut up, Discord
  260. >And go back to kissing Applejack
  261.  
  262. 8/14
  263.  
  264. >Day 11 in Equestria
  265. >Wake up in a bed that isn't yours
  266. >It's far too small, even by your normal bed's standards
  267. >A fuzzy warmth can be felt on your chest
  268. >Look down
  269. >An orange ball of fuzz with a blonde mane is sleeping, cuddled up to your chest
  270. >Look under the covers
  271. >Naked
  272. >Sniff the air
  273. >Smells like victory
  274. >Applejack stirs
  275. >"Heh, mornin, Anon"
  276. Morning, AJ
  277. >Both stare at each other for a while
  278. >She nuzzles you then hops out of bed
  279. >She walks stiffly
  280. Problem?
  281. >"Yeah... Mah rear's a bit sore"
  282. >Hell yeah, mother fucker
  283. >Or Apple fucker, in your case
  284. >On cue, Discord rises from his slumber, awoken by a terrible joke
  285. >He yawns in your head
  286. >"What did I miss?"
  287. Uhhh
  288. >"Wait. This isn't our room."
  289. Well errr.
  290. >"This isn't our house."
  291. Thing is...
  292. >Applejack walks back into the room, her mane is a complete mess and she's giving you bedroom eyes
  293. >"What's up, Anon?"
  294. >The seconds tick by slowly while you wait for Discord to put the pieces together
  295.  
  296. 9/14
  297.  
  298. >"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!"
  299. >There we are
  300. >"YOU DID IT, DIDN'T YOU? YOU AND HER- OH THAT'S JUST DISGUSTING! YOU'RE NOT EVEN THE SAME SPECIES!"
  301. Your mother and father weren't the same species
  302. >Applejack cocks her head
  303. >"Huh?"
  304. Discord just worked out what happened last night
  305. >"Oh. Well i'm gonna make breakfast. Come down when you're ready"
  306. >"MY MOTHER AND FATHER WERE AN EXCEPTION TO THE RULE. PONIES FOR PONIES, ANON. THAT'S THE WAY IT'S ALWAYS BEEN"
  307. For a being of chaos, you sure are intolerant of non-conventional things
  308. >"OH GODS I'M SEARCHING THROUGH YOUR MEMORIES NOW"
  309. You don't have to...
  310. >"WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?"
  311. Hey, we both needed some release
  312. >"USE YOUR HAND! YOU HAVE DONE IN THE PAST!"
  313. Yeah but it's not the same
  314. >"THIS IS THE WORST MORNING EVER."
  315. Deal with it.
  316. >He doesn't.
  317. >Infact he screams all day
  318. >Since it's a weekend you're off work, so you decide to head on home after saying goodbye to AJ and the family
  319. >You don't like the knowing look Granny Smith gave you>
  320. >Reach your front door
  321. I'm gonna make something to eat, but I've got no ideas. What should we eat, Discord?
  322. >"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH"
  323. Good choice!
  324. >You walk into your house to make a sandwich but freeze when you reach the kitchen
  325. >Fluttershy is there. Sat at the kitchen table and glaring at you.
  326.  
  327. 10/14
  328.  
  329. >"Oh, hello, ANON."
  330. ...Hey.
  331. >"Have a nice time last night?"
  332. Yes?
  333. >She grinds her teeth together
  334. >"So why wasn't I informed? Are you trying to test me, Anon? Why didn't you tell me you were stayng out last night?"
  335. What's it to you? You're not my mother.
  336. >"I WAS WORRIED SICK!"
  337. YOU DON'T EVEN LIVE HERE
  338. >"I LIKE TO MAKE SURE YOU FALL ASLEEP SAFE AND SOUND"
  339. THAT'S CREEPY AS SHIT
  340. >"IT'S CALLED LOVE, ANON"
  341. >You both breathe heavily
  342. >Fluttershy looks a bit crazy
  343. >Her mane is a wreck and her eyes are red and bloodshot
  344. Look, I spent the night with Applejack, ok? Stop trying to make it seem like you and I are in a relationship, because we're not.
  345. >Fluttershy twitches
  346. Now get out of my house
  347. >She's completely motionless, her eyes are glazed
  348. >She opens her mouth and says slowly
  349. >"Apple... Jack?"
  350. >Oh god
  351. >OH GOD
  352. >Discord chuckles
  353. >"My my, what was it you said to Fluttershy? Oh, I'm sure I have the memory around here somewhere"
  354. >You hear him shuffle through what seems like paper
  355. >You imagine him sitting in an office with your memories in a filing cabinet
  356. >"Actually, yes, that's exactly what it's like in here. I have to sleep in an Office. But anyway, here's the memory"
  357. >"Ahem: 'No Fluttershy, I will never have sex with you, I'm not into Ponies. Not now, not ever' End quote"
  358. >You stand in stunned silence for a few seconds, Watching Fluttershy slip further down the mental ladder into insanity
  359. >"So uhh, This is usually the part where you run, Anon. She's starting to remind me of my ex"
  360. You had a girlf-
  361. >"ANON!"
  362. >Fluttershy hits rock bottom on the sanity scale and flips your kitchen table
  363. >She then charges you
  364. >Sidestep, watching her fly into your wall as you run out the front door
  365. >"Oh ho ho, now this will be fun!"
  366. SHUT THE FUCK UP, DISCORD
  367.  
  368. 11/14
  369.  
  370. >Run as fast as you can towards Sweet Apple Acres
  371. >Hear Fluttershy behind you, smashing anything in her way aside
  372. >Watch as cart flies over your head and crashes through the wall of a building
  373. >Look over your shoulder
  374. >Fluttershy's eyes are twitching non-stop and she has a look of pure rage on her face
  375. >"WHEN I CATCH YOU, I'LL MAKE YOU LOVE ME!"
  376. >"It's always the quiet ones"
  377. >Hear Discord munching
  378. Are you... Eating... Popcorn...?
  379. >"Yup."
  380. >Fluttershy screams some more and you start to hear wing flaps behind you
  381. >Shitshitshit
  382. >Nearly at Sweet Apple Acres
  383. >See Applejack lingering around doing odd jobs in the distance
  384. >Pick up the pace, despite your burning chest
  385. >You'd rather die from exhaustion then be left at the mercy of Fluttershy
  386. >"Did you know that even if you die, I'll still be bound to your decomposing body? Just an interesting though, oh and watch out for that tree branch"
  387. >A tree branch smacks you in the face, causing your nose to bleed
  388. >Carry on running, nursing your bloody nose and cursing Discord under your breath
  389. >"Hey, 'man', I did warn you"
  390. Shutupshutupshutup
  391. >Applejack sees you coming in the distance and smiles, waving at you
  392. >She then gasps and a worried look crosses her face
  393. >Look over your shoulder
  394. >Fluttershy is about 2 meters behind you, and gaining
  395. >"I WILL FUCK YOU SO HARD YOUR PELVIS WILL BReaK!"
  396. >"Oh wow, that's new. Didn't think she had it in her to swear"
  397. >Feel Fluttershy make contact with you just as you get to Applejack and you all go tumbling into a pile
  398.  
  399. 12/14
  400.  
  401. >You try to scramble away
  402. >Applejack is a bit dazed from the collision but otherwise ok
  403. >Fluttershy on the other hand is trying to tear your pants off, probably trying to fuck you out in the open
  404. >"What do you mean, "Probably"? Of course she is! Man up and do the deed. You already screwed a farmer, how much worse is a vet?"
  405. >Don't reply
  406. >"Hell, after that you may as well have your way with ALL the Elements of Harmony! Oh! But do Twilight last. I want to watch her squirm."
  407. >Now that was just creepy
  408. >"Damn right."
  409. >Fluttershy finally gets your pants off, despite your struggling and tries to fondle you
  410. >Applejack finally gets up, rubbing her head and sees Fluttershy
  411. >"HEY! WHAT DO YA' THINK YA' DOIN'?"
  412. >She bucks Fluttershy off you
  413. >Fluttershy recovers from the kick and stands, glaring at you and Applejack
  414. >"He's MINE! I loved him first!"
  415. >This take Applejack by surprise
  416. >Hear Discord eating more popcorn and sipping from a straw
  417. >"Ooh I always did love drama."
  418. >"Look, Sugarcube, Ah'm sure you like Anon, and all, but ah do too. An' he likes me, dontcha Anon?"
  419. >She looks up at you and smiles
  420. >You can't help but smile back
  421. Yeah, I do
  422. >"Boo! Needs more pie throwing!"
  423. >Fluttershy growls
  424. >"But I was the one that found him! Finders keepers!"
  425. >Applejack snorts
  426. >"Really? Ya' gonna claim ownership over him now? Come on, Fluttershy. Be more reasonable"
  427. >"NO! I WON'T! HE'S MINE!"
  428. >She lunges for you
  429.  
  430. 13/14
  431.  
  432. >Without thinking you stretch out your hands infront ouf you to protect yourself
  433. >Close your eyes and wait for the impact
  434. >It never happens
  435. >Applejack gasps
  436. >"Anon... How are ya' doin' that?"
  437. >Open your eyes and look
  438. >Fluttershy is suspended in the air, held up by a golden aura
  439. >She flails around helplessly
  440. >"Put me down! Please!"
  441. Discord! What's happening here?
  442. >Discord chuckles darkly
  443. >"Well... I never expected this to happen. Seems you may have inherited more than my immortality, my friend."
  444. >You eyes widen
  445. You mean-
  446. >"Oh yes."
  447. So I can-
  448. >"Yep"
  449. >Stare at the suspended Fluttershy for a while
  450. >A grin comes across your face as you telepathically fling her away from you
  451. >She hits the floor and stares at you in horror
  452. >Applejack is in awe
  453. >"Anon! Ah never knew ya' had magic!"
  454. Yeah, neither did I...
  455. >"Hey, Anon."
  456. Yeah, Discord?
  457. >"Want to go scare the hell out of Twilight Sparkle?"
  458. >Smile
  459. I think I do.
  460. >Snap your fingers and phase out of reality in a flash of light, with Discord cackling maniacally in your head the entire time
  461.  
  462. 14/14
  463. The End
  464. Part 2: ponepaste.org/781
/FLUTTERRAPE/

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