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[FLUTTERRAPE] The Morning After

By Nebulus
Created: 2020-12-17 16:46:05
Updated: 2021-07-03 09:49:58
Expiry: Never
anonfluttershypinkie piesafecomedy/flutterrape/

  1. Originally uploaded to Pastebin: December 26th, 2012
  2. ---
  3.  
  4. >Day After Hearths Warming Eve in Equestria
  5. >Wake up
  6. >Upside down
  7. >Look around at the weird dimensions for a while
  8. >Everything sure does look funny
  9. >Realise that you're dangling from your own ceiling, held aloft by a giant party banner
  10. >It's been nailed there
  11. >How?
  12. >Why?
  13. >More importantly, When?
  14. >Notice a sleeping figure on your couch
  15. >It's Pinkie Pie
  16. >Speak quietly, due to a pounding headache
  17. Pinkie? Hey, Pink. Wake up!
  18. >She snoozes away peacefully, kicking her rear leg in her sleep
  19. >Repress an adoration induced squeal
  20. >Don't want to shout because of your headache
  21. >Nor do you want to shock her awake
  22. >Think for a moment
  23. >Try to swing around by moving your body
  24. >Start to move
  25. >Keep trying
  26. >The nail holding the banner in can't hold it
  27. >It pings out and you fall to the floor, hitting it head first
  28. MOTHER FUCKER!
  29. >Pinkie Pie screams like a banshee and gets up, flailing madly
  30. >"WUZZAT? WHAT HAPPENED?! ANON!"
  31. CHRIST ALMIGHT STOP SHOUTING
  32. >"AAAAAAAAAAAH!"
  33. AAAAAAAAAAH MY HEAD
  34. >"AAAAAAAAAAH YOUR HEAD!"
  35. >Scream at each other for 10 more seconds
  36. >"AAAA- So what's wrong, Anny?"
  37. >She looks down at you with a big smile on her face
  38. >Fucking Pinkie Pie
  39. Why was I attached to the ceiling?
  40. >"I dunno. Last night got pretty wild."
  41. Last night?
  42. >Oh. Now you remember
  43. >Party
  44. >A big one.
  45. >Hearths Warming Eve
  46. >The whole day comes flooding back to you, it's a blur of laughter, good food, presents and parties
  47. >Seems to have all ended at your place
  48. >Rub your head, which is still pounding
  49. So... Where is everyone?
  50. >"Probably went home. Your door's wide open, by the way."
  51. >She bounces over to it
  52. >"Bye, Anon!"
  53. >And she's gone
  54. >Look around the room
  55. >It's a tip.
  56. >Empty bottles and upturned furniture
  57. >Cracked kitchen window
  58. >You can't feel your left arm
  59. >Look at it
  60. >You don't have a left arm
  61. >Oh. Well then.
  62. >10 minutes later
  63. >Sat down at your upturned kitchen table, resting a glass of water on one of the sticking up legs
  64. >Think for a while about what you're going to do
  65. >You found your arm
  66. >It was in the upstairs toilet
  67. >Someone had drawn dicks all over it
  68. >Fucking assholes
  69. >Lucky it was your left. Since you do everything with your right
  70. >Scratch your ballsack through your pants
  71. >Everything
  72. >Stand up and burp
  73. >Pick up the ice-box with your arm in it and head towards the hospital
  74. >They could probably reattach it.
  75. >Maybe even make it stronger than your right arm
  76. >And also make the muscles bigger
  77. >Or replace the whole thing and give you a Dragon's arm.
  78. >They could probably just turn YOU into a Dragon.
  79. >They fixed Twilight's broken leg in an afternoon
  80. >Fucking magic.
  81. >Walking towards the hospital
  82. >Looking at the way the blood cascades down your arm
  83. >You should probably be blocking that, or applying pressure
  84. >But it looks icky
  85. >And your right arm is carrying the ice box
  86. >You're in quite the connundrum
  87. >Fall face first into the snow
  88. >Your leg just gave out
  89. >Yep. That's the blood loss kicking in.
  90. >Stand back up and hop one-legged to the hospital
  91. >A flash of purple light occurs in the corner of your eye
  92. >Look and see Twilight gawping at you
  93. Oh, hey Twilight. What's up?
  94. >"ANON! WHAT HAPPENED?!"
  95. Calm down, Twilight. You've got nothing to be afraid of
  96. >Hold up the icebox
  97. I'm 'Armless
  98. >Beam at her
  99. >She glares back at you
  100. >Hear Pinkie scream through a megaphone across town
  101. >"NICE JOKE, ANON!"
  102. >Scream back at her
  103. THANKS, PINKIE PIE!
  104. >Look back to Twilight
  105. >"Y-your arm!"
  106. It's in here
  107. >Shake the icebox
  108. >"...How?"
  109. I picked it up and put it in.
  110. >She groans
  111. >"No, Anon! How did you lose your arm?"
  112. Dunno. Just another one of those days I guess. Heading towards the hospital, though. So I'll be fine
  113. >"You won't make it that far! You're losing blood!"
  114. >Feel roughly 40% of your brain just turn off
  115. >You can't see the colour yellow now
  116. >The sun just went blue
  117. >Odd.
  118. Welp. Guess I'd better get a move on then.
  119. >Carry on hobbling towards the hospital
  120. >Realise that Pinkie Pie never told you about your missing arm
  121. >Unless SHE'S the one that tore it off and drew dicks all over it
  122. >Son of a bitch.
  123. >You'll have a long talk with her later
  124. >Dicks aren't funny.
  125. >Giggle to yourself about the thought of erect stallion cocks
  126. >Twilight screams in frustration
  127. >"Anon! Just... Wait here! I'll go and get help!"
  128. >She teleports away
  129. >Wonder where she went
  130. >She probably abandoned you
  131. >Applejack really annoyed you sometimes.
  132. >You weren't even sure that was her name
  133. >Keep hobbling towards the hospital
  134. >Pass a sign
  135. >"Pleez can al hunan stnd heer. pls"
  136. >Well you aren't one to turn down a hardworking sign
  137. >Stand there and smile at it for a second
  138. >Blink as a giant blue dildo impales itself straight through the centre of the sign at an unmatched velocity
  139. >Turn around and see a blue pegasus with a pink mane grinning at you and carrying a large weapon with a large belt of multicoloured dildos trailing from the ammo deposit and into a saddlebag on her back
  140. >She laughs menacingly
  141. >"Anon."
  142. Rarity.
  143. >"H-Have a good Hearths Warming Eve, Anon?"
  144. >Look down at the icebox
  145. Yep!
  146. >"G-good. So did I. I got everything I asked for."
  147. Oh, nice to know! Like what?
  148. >A dildo flies past your head and embeds itself in a tree
  149. >"Like this"
  150. Cool. Well I have to be going now. I'm probably going to die in a few minutes.
  151. >"Well if you do, a-at least you'll die eroticly!"
  152. >You don't even begin to question it
  153. >Well, the 60% of your brain-
  154. >Hang on
  155. >...
  156. >Yeah, you can't drive a car now.
  157. >The 30% of your brain still active tries to question it anyway.
  158. >Why is Spike shooting dildos at you?
  159. >Why didn't Celestia just teleport you straight to the hospital?
  160. >Why didn't Frodo just ride an Eagle to Mordor?
  161. >You think about this as you try and run away from the deranged horse and towards the Hospital as fast as you can
  162. >Dildos fly past you and strike various objects
  163. >A really dark blue flight-capable equine flies by you
  164. >"Heya, Anon! What's new? Why's Fluttershy chasing you?"
  165. >A dildo flies straight into her vagina from behind
  166. >She whinnies, orgasms, then falls to the floor unconcious
  167. >Poor Fluttershy.
  168. >At last, the hospital is in sight
  169. >You're not sure why Granny Smith didn't just fly after you and restrain you. You're not exactly running at full speed here
  170. >Another question added to the pile, along with why you can't see colour anymore
  171. >You reach the door of the hospital and push it open
  172. >A dildo flies past your head and jams a nurse in the eye
  173. >She screams and falls to the floor, clutching the phallus lodged in it
  174. >Step over it and walk up to a stunned looking doctor
  175. >"W-what-"
  176. Flah. Blargnah fublublu neaahhh.
  177. >Ah. Only 5% of your brain left. No more English for you!
  178. >It's a medical miracle that you're still standing, carrying your icebox and capable of rational thought with only 5% of your brain left
  179. >Blood long since stopped pouring out of your arm.
  180. >You doubt that you have any left
  181. >Must be running on whatever fluids are left lying around your body
  182. >The doctor takes note of your missing arm, bloodstained clothes, decapitated arm lying inside an icebox, and the nurse writhing in dildo-agnoy on the floor
  183. >He puts 2 and 2 together
  184. >"Here for a checkup?"
  185. Blah.
  186. >30 minutes later
  187. >Full of blood. Arm reattached. Fully functioning brain. Able to speak English. Nurse managed to get the dildo out of her eye.
  188. >Pinkie Pie, Twilight, Applejack, Rainbow Dash and Rarity are stood around your bed.
  189. >Twilight speaks first
  190. >"Anon, we're so sorry we didn't help you! I wrote a letter to the princess about what I learned about friendship from this experience"
  191. >She smiles
  192. >Smile back
  193. >She's such a good student
  194. >Pinkie Pie speaks next
  195. >"I'm sorry I didn't tell you about your arm, Anny. I thought it was a human thing!"
  196. >Stroke her mane and tell her it's ok
  197. >Rainbow Dash after that
  198. >"Sorry I didn't stop Fluttershy, Anon. I was preoccupied."
  199. >She blushes, quivers, and you hear a sound like water dripping onto tiles
  200. >Rarity says something next
  201. >"I don't really know why I'm here, darling"
  202. I understand.
  203. >Applejack nods at you
  204. >"Apples."
  205. >She's so wise, that one.
  206. >Spike hops onto your bed and smiles at you
  207. >"Hey there, Anon. Feeling better?"
  208. Hehe. A talking dragon.
  209. >Prod his face while he giggles
  210. >The rest of the mane 5 laugh heartily
  211. >Laugh with them
  212. >Wipe a tear from your eye
  213. >Everyone is smiling from ear to ear
  214. So where's Fluttershy, anyway?
  215. >Twilight composes herself and speaks with a massive grin on her face
  216. >"She's in prison for 6 accounts of assault and 2 accounts of attempted murder"
  217. Ok then.
  218. >You all carry on laughing while the camera pans out of the hospital window and looks at a nearby tree with a group of birds hugging, in order to show the audience the value of togetherness or some other bullshit
  219.  
  220. The End

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