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[FLUTTERRAPE] The Morning After

By Nebulus
Created: 2020-12-17 16:46:05
Updated: 2021-07-03 09:49:58
Expiry: Never
anonfluttershypinkie piesafecomedy/flutterrape/

  1. 1.
    Originally uploaded to Pastebin: December 26th, 2012
  2. 2.
    ---
  3. 3.
     
  4. 4.
    >Day After Hearths Warming Eve in Equestria
  5. 5.
    >Wake up
  6. 6.
    >Upside down
  7. 7.
    >Look around at the weird dimensions for a while
  8. 8.
    >Everything sure does look funny
  9. 9.
    >Realise that you're dangling from your own ceiling, held aloft by a giant party banner
  10. 10.
    >It's been nailed there
  11. 11.
    >How?
  12. 12.
    >Why?
  13. 13.
    >More importantly, When?
  14. 14.
    >Notice a sleeping figure on your couch
  15. 15.
    >It's Pinkie Pie
  16. 16.
    >Speak quietly, due to a pounding headache
  17. 17.
    Pinkie? Hey, Pink. Wake up!
  18. 18.
    >She snoozes away peacefully, kicking her rear leg in her sleep
  19. 19.
    >Repress an adoration induced squeal
  20. 20.
    >Don't want to shout because of your headache
  21. 21.
    >Nor do you want to shock her awake
  22. 22.
    >Think for a moment
  23. 23.
    >Try to swing around by moving your body
  24. 24.
    >Start to move
  25. 25.
    >Keep trying
  26. 26.
    >The nail holding the banner in can't hold it
  27. 27.
    >It pings out and you fall to the floor, hitting it head first
  28. 28.
    MOTHER FUCKER!
  29. 29.
    >Pinkie Pie screams like a banshee and gets up, flailing madly
  30. 30.
    >"WUZZAT? WHAT HAPPENED?! ANON!"
  31. 31.
    CHRIST ALMIGHT STOP SHOUTING
  32. 32.
    >"AAAAAAAAAAAH!"
  33. 33.
    AAAAAAAAAAH MY HEAD
  34. 34.
    >"AAAAAAAAAAH YOUR HEAD!"
  35. 35.
    >Scream at each other for 10 more seconds
  36. 36.
    >"AAAA- So what's wrong, Anny?"
  37. 37.
    >She looks down at you with a big smile on her face
  38. 38.
    >Fucking Pinkie Pie
  39. 39.
    Why was I attached to the ceiling?
  40. 40.
    >"I dunno. Last night got pretty wild."
  41. 41.
    Last night?
  42. 42.
    >Oh. Now you remember
  43. 43.
    >Party
  44. 44.
    >A big one.
  45. 45.
    >Hearths Warming Eve
  46. 46.
    >The whole day comes flooding back to you, it's a blur of laughter, good food, presents and parties
  47. 47.
    >Seems to have all ended at your place
  48. 48.
    >Rub your head, which is still pounding
  49. 49.
    So... Where is everyone?
  50. 50.
    >"Probably went home. Your door's wide open, by the way."
  51. 51.
    >She bounces over to it
  52. 52.
    >"Bye, Anon!"
  53. 53.
    >And she's gone
  54. 54.
    >Look around the room
  55. 55.
    >It's a tip.
  56. 56.
    >Empty bottles and upturned furniture
  57. 57.
    >Cracked kitchen window
  58. 58.
    >You can't feel your left arm
  59. 59.
    >Look at it
  60. 60.
    >You don't have a left arm
  61. 61.
    >Oh. Well then.
  62. 62.
    >10 minutes later
  63. 63.
    >Sat down at your upturned kitchen table, resting a glass of water on one of the sticking up legs
  64. 64.
    >Think for a while about what you're going to do
  65. 65.
    >You found your arm
  66. 66.
    >It was in the upstairs toilet
  67. 67.
    >Someone had drawn dicks all over it
  68. 68.
    >Fucking assholes
  69. 69.
    >Lucky it was your left. Since you do everything with your right
  70. 70.
    >Scratch your ballsack through your pants
  71. 71.
    >Everything
  72. 72.
    >Stand up and burp
  73. 73.
    >Pick up the ice-box with your arm in it and head towards the hospital
  74. 74.
    >They could probably reattach it.
  75. 75.
    >Maybe even make it stronger than your right arm
  76. 76.
    >And also make the muscles bigger
  77. 77.
    >Or replace the whole thing and give you a Dragon's arm.
  78. 78.
    >They could probably just turn YOU into a Dragon.
  79. 79.
    >They fixed Twilight's broken leg in an afternoon
  80. 80.
    >Fucking magic.
  81. 81.
    >Walking towards the hospital
  82. 82.
    >Looking at the way the blood cascades down your arm
  83. 83.
    >You should probably be blocking that, or applying pressure
  84. 84.
    >But it looks icky
  85. 85.
    >And your right arm is carrying the ice box
  86. 86.
    >You're in quite the connundrum
  87. 87.
    >Fall face first into the snow
  88. 88.
    >Your leg just gave out
  89. 89.
    >Yep. That's the blood loss kicking in.
  90. 90.
    >Stand back up and hop one-legged to the hospital
  91. 91.
    >A flash of purple light occurs in the corner of your eye
  92. 92.
    >Look and see Twilight gawping at you
  93. 93.
    Oh, hey Twilight. What's up?
  94. 94.
    >"ANON! WHAT HAPPENED?!"
  95. 95.
    Calm down, Twilight. You've got nothing to be afraid of
  96. 96.
    >Hold up the icebox
  97. 97.
    I'm 'Armless
  98. 98.
    >Beam at her
  99. 99.
    >She glares back at you
  100. 100.
    >Hear Pinkie scream through a megaphone across town
  101. 101.
    >"NICE JOKE, ANON!"
  102. 102.
    >Scream back at her
  103. 103.
    THANKS, PINKIE PIE!
  104. 104.
    >Look back to Twilight
  105. 105.
    >"Y-your arm!"
  106. 106.
    It's in here
  107. 107.
    >Shake the icebox
  108. 108.
    >"...How?"
  109. 109.
    I picked it up and put it in.
  110. 110.
    >She groans
  111. 111.
    >"No, Anon! How did you lose your arm?"
  112. 112.
    Dunno. Just another one of those days I guess. Heading towards the hospital, though. So I'll be fine
  113. 113.
    >"You won't make it that far! You're losing blood!"
  114. 114.
    >Feel roughly 40% of your brain just turn off
  115. 115.
    >You can't see the colour yellow now
  116. 116.
    >The sun just went blue
  117. 117.
    >Odd.
  118. 118.
    Welp. Guess I'd better get a move on then.
  119. 119.
    >Carry on hobbling towards the hospital
  120. 120.
    >Realise that Pinkie Pie never told you about your missing arm
  121. 121.
    >Unless SHE'S the one that tore it off and drew dicks all over it
  122. 122.
    >Son of a bitch.
  123. 123.
    >You'll have a long talk with her later
  124. 124.
    >Dicks aren't funny.
  125. 125.
    >Giggle to yourself about the thought of erect stallion cocks
  126. 126.
    >Twilight screams in frustration
  127. 127.
    >"Anon! Just... Wait here! I'll go and get help!"
  128. 128.
    >She teleports away
  129. 129.
    >Wonder where she went
  130. 130.
    >She probably abandoned you
  131. 131.
    >Applejack really annoyed you sometimes.
  132. 132.
    >You weren't even sure that was her name
  133. 133.
    >Keep hobbling towards the hospital
  134. 134.
    >Pass a sign
  135. 135.
    >"Pleez can al hunan stnd heer. pls"
  136. 136.
    >Well you aren't one to turn down a hardworking sign
  137. 137.
    >Stand there and smile at it for a second
  138. 138.
    >Blink as a giant blue dildo impales itself straight through the centre of the sign at an unmatched velocity
  139. 139.
    >Turn around and see a blue pegasus with a pink mane grinning at you and carrying a large weapon with a large belt of multicoloured dildos trailing from the ammo deposit and into a saddlebag on her back
  140. 140.
    >She laughs menacingly
  141. 141.
    >"Anon."
  142. 142.
    Rarity.
  143. 143.
    >"H-Have a good Hearths Warming Eve, Anon?"
  144. 144.
    >Look down at the icebox
  145. 145.
    Yep!
  146. 146.
    >"G-good. So did I. I got everything I asked for."
  147. 147.
    Oh, nice to know! Like what?
  148. 148.
    >A dildo flies past your head and embeds itself in a tree
  149. 149.
    >"Like this"
  150. 150.
    Cool. Well I have to be going now. I'm probably going to die in a few minutes.
  151. 151.
    >"Well if you do, a-at least you'll die eroticly!"
  152. 152.
    >You don't even begin to question it
  153. 153.
    >Well, the 60% of your brain-
  154. 154.
    >Hang on
  155. 155.
    >...
  156. 156.
    >Yeah, you can't drive a car now.
  157. 157.
    >The 30% of your brain still active tries to question it anyway.
  158. 158.
    >Why is Spike shooting dildos at you?
  159. 159.
    >Why didn't Celestia just teleport you straight to the hospital?
  160. 160.
    >Why didn't Frodo just ride an Eagle to Mordor?
  161. 161.
    >You think about this as you try and run away from the deranged horse and towards the Hospital as fast as you can
  162. 162.
    >Dildos fly past you and strike various objects
  163. 163.
    >A really dark blue flight-capable equine flies by you
  164. 164.
    >"Heya, Anon! What's new? Why's Fluttershy chasing you?"
  165. 165.
    >A dildo flies straight into her vagina from behind
  166. 166.
    >She whinnies, orgasms, then falls to the floor unconcious
  167. 167.
    >Poor Fluttershy.
  168. 168.
    >At last, the hospital is in sight
  169. 169.
    >You're not sure why Granny Smith didn't just fly after you and restrain you. You're not exactly running at full speed here
  170. 170.
    >Another question added to the pile, along with why you can't see colour anymore
  171. 171.
    >You reach the door of the hospital and push it open
  172. 172.
    >A dildo flies past your head and jams a nurse in the eye
  173. 173.
    >She screams and falls to the floor, clutching the phallus lodged in it
  174. 174.
    >Step over it and walk up to a stunned looking doctor
  175. 175.
    >"W-what-"
  176. 176.
    Flah. Blargnah fublublu neaahhh.
  177. 177.
    >Ah. Only 5% of your brain left. No more English for you!
  178. 178.
    >It's a medical miracle that you're still standing, carrying your icebox and capable of rational thought with only 5% of your brain left
  179. 179.
    >Blood long since stopped pouring out of your arm.
  180. 180.
    >You doubt that you have any left
  181. 181.
    >Must be running on whatever fluids are left lying around your body
  182. 182.
    >The doctor takes note of your missing arm, bloodstained clothes, decapitated arm lying inside an icebox, and the nurse writhing in dildo-agnoy on the floor
  183. 183.
    >He puts 2 and 2 together
  184. 184.
    >"Here for a checkup?"
  185. 185.
    Blah.
  186. 186.
    >30 minutes later
  187. 187.
    >Full of blood. Arm reattached. Fully functioning brain. Able to speak English. Nurse managed to get the dildo out of her eye.
  188. 188.
    >Pinkie Pie, Twilight, Applejack, Rainbow Dash and Rarity are stood around your bed.
  189. 189.
    >Twilight speaks first
  190. 190.
    >"Anon, we're so sorry we didn't help you! I wrote a letter to the princess about what I learned about friendship from this experience"
  191. 191.
    >She smiles
  192. 192.
    >Smile back
  193. 193.
    >She's such a good student
  194. 194.
    >Pinkie Pie speaks next
  195. 195.
    >"I'm sorry I didn't tell you about your arm, Anny. I thought it was a human thing!"
  196. 196.
    >Stroke her mane and tell her it's ok
  197. 197.
    >Rainbow Dash after that
  198. 198.
    >"Sorry I didn't stop Fluttershy, Anon. I was preoccupied."
  199. 199.
    >She blushes, quivers, and you hear a sound like water dripping onto tiles
  200. 200.
    >Rarity says something next
  201. 201.
    >"I don't really know why I'm here, darling"
  202. 202.
    I understand.
  203. 203.
    >Applejack nods at you
  204. 204.
    >"Apples."
  205. 205.
    >She's so wise, that one.
  206. 206.
    >Spike hops onto your bed and smiles at you
  207. 207.
    >"Hey there, Anon. Feeling better?"
  208. 208.
    Hehe. A talking dragon.
  209. 209.
    >Prod his face while he giggles
  210. 210.
    >The rest of the mane 5 laugh heartily
  211. 211.
    >Laugh with them
  212. 212.
    >Wipe a tear from your eye
  213. 213.
    >Everyone is smiling from ear to ear
  214. 214.
    So where's Fluttershy, anyway?
  215. 215.
    >Twilight composes herself and speaks with a massive grin on her face
  216. 216.
    >"She's in prison for 6 accounts of assault and 2 accounts of attempted murder"
  217. 217.
    Ok then.
  218. 218.
    >You all carry on laughing while the camera pans out of the hospital window and looks at a nearby tree with a group of birds hugging, in order to show the audience the value of togetherness or some other bullshit
  219. 219.
     
  220. 220.
    The End

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