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[FLUTTERRAPE] Doggy Dog World

By Nebulus
Created: 17th December 2020 05:41:29 PM

  1. Originally uploaded to Pastebin: January 8th, 2013
  2. ---
  3.  
  4. >Day Keep your Friends close in Equestria
  5. >Walking around Ponyville with Applejack
  6. >"So uhh, Anon. Waddya' like to do in ya' spare time?"
  7. Well at home I would see friend and sit at home mostly. Since coming here there's not much to do
  8. >"Well why not come out with me n' the girls? It'll be fun!"
  9. >She smiles hopefully at you
  10. No thanks, AJ. I'll pass.
  11. >She sighs and walks away
  12. >You are Anon
  13. >And it's your 4th day in Equestria.
  14. >You'll be honest, Equestria isn't all that it's cracked up to be
  15. >The way it's shown in the show? Yeah it's not exactly side by side comparison of real life there
  16. >It's boring. Infuriatingly so.
  17. >The Mane 6's idea of 'fun' is going out together on pony pet playdates, reading, taking about dresses and boys, and generally being a bunch of boring mother fuckers.
  18. >Maybe that was too harsh, it's not like you're from around here
  19. >The ponies around town accepted you soon enough, but you find yourself wandering around with nothing to do
  20. >You have a house, a government grant, protection from Celestia herself due to you being the only one of your kind as well as the unofficial ambassador for your species. So life is stable, no pun intended.
  21. >But you wish there was more to do
  22. >Or at least someone to talk to
  23. >"A-anon?"
  24. >Someone who isn't that.
  25. >You look down to see Fluttershy
  26. >She's been pestering you all day. You're not quite sure why.
  27. >"S-so I was wondering... Um, do humans have foals?"
  28. No. We have children.
  29. >"Oh ok then. So how are children born?"
  30. >Pinch the bridge of your nose and let out an exasperated sigh
  31. By procreation, Fluttershy. You know this.
  32. >Fluttershy blushes
  33. >"A-and how do humans procreate?"
  34. I've already told Twilight. Go and ask her.
  35. >"Umm. Twilight's not home."
  36. >You look to your left, at Twilight's treehouse
  37. >As you gaze through the window you see her perched on a cushion reading a book
  38. >You'd think that she was just a shy, adorable introvert, and she kind of is.
  39. >But she, like all her friends, are incredibly boring.
  40. >Even Rainbow Dash is boring, much to your shock.
  41. >It's not even a matter of culture barriers, she really can't hold a conversation.
  42.  
  43. 1/?
  44.  
  45. >Point at the Tree
  46. She's in there. Go get her, tiger.
  47. >"I'd rather have you."
  48. >She blushes even harder.
  49. >You fear that all the blood in her body is now contained solely in her cheeks
  50. >Wouldn't be surprised
  51. Look, just leave me be, Fluttershy. I want to be alone.
  52. >"Are you sure? Do you not need me to give you a back rub?"
  53. Leave, Fluttershy. NOW.
  54. >She sulks and flies away, watching you over her shoulder
  55. >Of course, she flies into a wall
  56. >Stupid horse.
  57. >You walk through Ponyville.
  58. >It's a lot larger than you imagined.
  59. >Ponies aren't. They're as high as your waist. But the town is still over a much larger area.
  60. >You walk down an alleyway, looking for something to do
  61. >See a black door with a grimy looking sign over it
  62. >"The Four Horseshoes Tavern"
  63. >Raise an eyebrow
  64. That's new.
  65. >You decide to poke your head in
  66. >The smell of smoke and alcohol hits you in the face, temporarily removing your sense of smell
  67. >The residents of the tavern groan from the natural light pouring in from the open door
  68. >A bottle hits the wall next to you
  69. >"CLOSE THE DAMN DOOR"
  70. >You scurry inside and shut it behind you
  71. >Surprisingly, the door was not only an adequate height (though you still had to duck your head a tiny bit), but the ceiling can accomidate you quite nicely
  72. >You walk through the tavern, stunned at what you see
  73. >Ponies playing darts, drinking, gambling, complaining about life outside the tavern and laughing
  74. >You're in silent wonder at it all
  75. >You had always thought ponies to be straight edges, abeit a little bit creepy, like Fluttershy
  76.  
  77. 2/?
  78.  
  79. >You reach the bar and stick a hand in your pocket
  80. >A small number of bits fill it
  81. >Take a seat at a stood, once again you're surprised that it's study enough to hold your weight
  82. >The bartender looks at you with a jaded expression
  83. >He looks as though he's seen it all
  84. >Probably has, too. He isn't even surprised to see you
  85. >"Mornin', Human. What can I get'cha?"
  86. Uh hi. What have you got?
  87. >He quickly fires off a large list of liquors and spirits
  88. >This also takes you by surprise. You had no idea ponies drank anything other than cider
  89. >Fucking Show
  90. I'll take a uhh, Cider. I guess
  91. >He looks at you
  92. >"Guy your size? Nah. You'll want somethin' stronger than that."
  93. >He fills up a glass and slides it over to you
  94. >Drink it
  95. >Your body wasn't even close to being ready
  96. >Your tongue, throat and teeth are all now on fire
  97. >Figuratively speaking
  98. >You cough and pound your chest, face quickly going red
  99. >The barkeep chuckles
  100. >"Don't worry about payin' either. First one's free"
  101. >He moves along to serve some other ponies
  102. >You sit and nurse your drink, taking in the thick smoke in the air, the smell of booze, the gentle jazz coming from a nearby record player, and the noise of mellow ponies talking
  103. >And for the first time in 4 days, you genuinely smile
  104. >At that moment though, the door opens again, and you hear a pony mutter "blimey"
  105. >You turn around in your seat, and your eyes widen in shock
  106.  
  107. 3/?
  108.  
  109. >Standing on his hind legs, his head at a slightly lower level than yours, he strolls through the tavern, eyeing the ponies around him
  110. >He settles down in his seat and orders a whiskey
  111. >You can't take your eyes off him. You have only seen one of his kind once
  112. >He looks around again, and his eyes settle on you
  113. >He smiles and raises a paw towards you
  114. >You shake it, carefully
  115. >"Hello. I don't think I've seen one of your kind before"
  116. >His voice is rough, gravelly, and his eyes are filled with a sly cunning that you would expect from one such as he
  117. Hey. No, you won't have done. I'm the only one of my kind.
  118. >He raises an eyebrow
  119. >"Well that's strange. You'll have to tell me all about that."
  120. And I will, Mister...?
  121. >He pauses mid sip of his drink
  122. >"Where are my manners. My name is Rex. Rex the Diamond Dog."
  123. >The Diamond Dog grins and gulps down the rest of his drink, letting out a satisfied "aaah"
  124. Anonymous, Human.
  125. >He grins
  126. >"Well, Human. You'll have to tell me. Where do you come from?"
  127. >And just like that you two become friends
  128. >You talk for hours and hours, laughing at each other's jokes, showing sympathy for each other's stories and problems, and generally understanding each other
  129. >He's the friend you were looking for in this world
  130. >After he finishes a story about how he once ate an entire gemstone as a dare and spent 4 weeks in hospital pooping out geodes you wipe a tear from your eye, laughing
  131. Ohh man... So you never told me, Rex. What's the story? Why are you in Ponyville?
  132. >Rex smiles and stares off into the distance
  133. >"Oh it's a rich tale. But it comes down to one simple fact. I love ponies."
  134.  
  135. 4/?
  136.  
  137. Go on?
  138. >"Well it all started when I was a young adult. Being Diamond Dogs we live underground. The overworld isn't really our thing. So one day my uncle finds me and says he found this pony that can find gems"
  139. >You smile
  140. >You can tell where this is going
  141. >"I go and look at her, locked in a cell and she's the most incredible thing I've ever seen. Not because of her 'beauty' or anything like that. But just her shape. These are the creatures that rule the overworld, and it's been dragged into my home"
  142. >You motion for him to continue
  143. >"So things get crazy, we get invaded by 5 other ponies and a dragon. They take her home and steal a load of gems. Everydog else goes cr-"
  144. >You stop him, snickering
  145. Did you just say every'dog'?
  146. >"Uhh. Sorry. Force of habit. EveryONE else goes crazy and starts complaining about the lack of gems, but I don't even care. I was fixated with ponies."
  147. So what exactly are the gems used for?
  148. >"Trade, mostly. We mine pure gems from the deep earth better than any other race on the planet. We'd hit a dry spot so we got desperate and my uncle kidnapped a pony, but that's beside the point. We need gems for our economy."
  149. Interesting
  150. >"Hm. So I say to my parents and Uncle that I want to go above and mix with ponies, they were always open-minded, though my Uncle was hesitant, but they let me pack my stuff"
  151. >"The next day, I say my goodbyes and crawl out of the earth, head off towards civilisation. And this is where I ended up in my pursuit of ponies. Facsinating creatures, they are."
  152. >You nod in agreement.
  153. >You can't wait to see his reaction when he sees Rarity again
  154. >But you stay silent about it
  155. >"What about you, Anon? How did you get here?"
  156. Oh hell, that's a rough tale.
  157.  
  158. 5/?
  159.  
  160. >You craft a tale of love, loss, and depression. How your girlfriend left you and you couldn't take it anymore. And in a final act of desperation you threw yourself off a bridge
  161. >As you hit the water you blacked out, then ended up here
  162. >Rex ponders this over his 5th glass of whiskey
  163. >"Rough tale indeed. You're fine now though, right? No depression?"
  164. Kinda hard to stay depressed in a world like this. It's a new life, you know? No loose ends. No connections. Fresh start
  165. >"I'll drink to that"
  166. >You tap your glasses together and drink them down, talking long into the night
  167. >A while later you stumble out of the tavern, bidding goodnight to the bartender - Grizzle, and being held up by Rex
  168. >"So where are you at, Human? Where's your place of stay?"
  169. Odd way to say... House...
  170. >You belch
  171. >Rex laughs, causing you to smile
  172. >"Sorry, still getting used to the idea of houses. Amazing concept. You actually have your own place to live. Back home everything's just one big tunnel. Everydog knows everydog."
  173. Sounds... Close
  174. >"That's one way of putting it"
  175. >You both stumble and trip your way back to your house, you fumble with the keys and eventually open the lock
  176. >You fall flat on your face indoors, and Rex chuckles from outside
  177. >"Well, goodnight, Anonymous. It was great meeting you."
  178. >Roll over and face him from your floor
  179. Where are you going now?
  180. >"Gonna find somewhere to sleep, I saw a great looking alley on the way here"
  181. >Frown at him
  182. You know, Rex. You could always stay here. It's better than being out in the cold.
  183. >He cocks his head, reminding you that he is in fact a dog.
  184.  
  185. 6/?
  186.  
  187. >"Stay here? What, do you mean outside?"
  188. No... Rex, you can sleep in my house.
  189. >His tail starts wagging and he grins even wider
  190. >"You really mean that?"
  191. Of course. We're friends now. Can't have my friend freezing to death the first night out of his homeland
  192. >Rex tentatively walks over the threshold and helps you to your feet
  193. >He pats you on the back and smiles
  194. >"Thanks, Anon."
  195. >You motion to your sofa
  196. That ok with you?
  197. >He looks at it and his eyes light up
  198. >"All that?"
  199. >Laugh
  200. Sure, why not. Make yourself comfortable. We can go out and search out a place for you tomorrow
  201. >Stomp upstairs and fall backwards onto your bed, completely exhausted
  202. >With your final ounce of strength you call out into the house
  203. G'night, Rex.
  204. >A gravelly voice answers from below
  205. >"Good night, Anon."
  206.  
  207. 7/?
  208.  
  209. >Day 5 in Equestria
  210. >Wake up with a pounding headache
  211. >Smile goofily
  212. So worth it
  213. >There's a knock at the door
  214. >Hear Rex walk over and open it
  215. >You hear a high pitched scream
  216. >"Anonymous! We have guests! Should I invite her in?"
  217. Don't even think about it, Rex. Wait there.
  218. >Roll off your bed and walk downstairs
  219. >Fluttershy sees you coming and regains some composure
  220. >"A-a-anon! There's a b-big scary monster in your house!"
  221. >You look at her and smirk
  222. Monster? All I see is Rex.
  223. >Rex chuckles
  224. >"Should I eat her, Anon?"
  225. Can Diamond Dogs do that?
  226. >"Sure, we eat meat all the time"
  227. Go for it
  228. >Rex bares his teeth and growls at Fluttershy, who screams and flies away crying
  229. >You and Rex laugh, despite the ringing in your ears
  230. >He turns to you
  231. >"So. What shall we do today then? Search for a house or hit the bar?"
  232. Uhh. House first. Then bar.
  233. >He grins, showing you his sharp looking teeth. They gleam in the sunlight.
  234. >"Perfect"
  235.  
  236. 8/?
  237.  
  238. >As you both walk towards Town Hall to organise accomidation for your Canine friend, you glance at him, taking in every part of his body, now shown in full sunlight and not the murky dim light of the bar
  239. >As before, he stands just below your head height, his arms slightly longer than yours, and his whole body covered in light brown fur
  240. >He wears a simple blue jacket, which looks like it's made of denim. You wouldn't be surprised.
  241. >Fucking Equestrian similarities
  242. >He's also wearing some red shorts made of a simple looking fabric, held up with a rope belt and covered in grime
  243. >He catches you looking
  244. >"What?"
  245. Man, don't take this the wrong way, but you need a shower something fierce
  246. >He growls
  247. >"I smell just fine"
  248. >He passes some flowers
  249. >They wilt slightly
  250. Woah.
  251. >You both carry on towards the Mayor's office
  252. >Ponies stare at you both
  253. >You imagine that you must look pretty strange
  254. >A Diamond Dog and an Alien just strutting through town
  255. >Fuck the police
  256. >You enter town hall and march straight up to the mare
  257. >She takes one look at you both and freezes
  258. >There's silence between you three for a while
  259. >She finally gathers the courage to speak
  260. >"Is this is? Have I gone mad?"
  261. Close. Could you please give this Diamond Dog a house?
  262. >"What's in it for me?"
  263. I'll vote for you next term
  264. >"Done"
  265.  
  266. 9/?
  267.  
  268. >With that you dust your hands together and lead a very confused Rex out of the Town Hall
  269. >He stammers
  270. >"I-is that normal, for Ponies and Humans? I'm afraid I don't understand"
  271. >Pat on the back
  272. Rex, my friend. We have the advantage of being really weird. We just abused that fact to get you a house for free. Don't complain about that.
  273. >He accepts this answer and his face returns to it's normal, confident grin
  274. >"So, Anon. What are you ponies around here like?"
  275. Do you want me to lie, or tell the truth?
  276. >He thinks for a second
  277. >"Lie first, then truth"
  278. >You laugh
  279. Everyone around here is a deep, thoughtful individual who will challenge your intellect at every turn.
  280. >He grins toothily
  281. >"And the truth?"
  282. You're far and above the most interesting pony I've met since I got here
  283. >"But I'm not a pony"
  284. Exactly
  285. >You both laugh like idiots in town square, everyone around you staring at you in a confused manner
  286. >A cream coloured mare with a blue and pink mane shakes her head and carries on walking
  287. >"This village will be the death of me...
  288.  
  289. 10/?
  290.  
  291. >You turn down the alleyway on the way to the bar, bits in your pocket and spirits high
  292. Hey Rex, how did you pay for drinks last night, anyway?
  293. >"I didn't. I opened a tab."
  294. Oooh, those are risky, man. You'll need to clear it before-
  295. >A dustbin explodes and a yellow pegasus holding a gun emerges from it, a banana peel on her head
  296. >"S-stop! Or I'll shoot!"
  297. >Rex cocks his head
  298. >"What's that?"
  299. Water Pistol, by the looks of it
  300. >"Is it dangerous?"
  301. Do you like water?
  302. >"I'm indifferent"
  303. You'll be fine.
  304. >Fluttershy points the water pistol at the two of you, whilst you both wait for her to do something
  305. >You fold your arms
  306. >Rex scratches his butt
  307. >Fluttershy starts sweating
  308. >"N-now. I want you both t-to stop hanging out! Anon is umm. Mine."
  309. >Rex looks crestfallen
  310. >"I see... I'm sorry, Anon. I had no idea you belonged to this pony."
  311. >You explode into laughter
  312. >Your sides hurt like hell after a while
  313. >Rex looks at you in bewilderment and Fluttershy stammers
  314. >"S-stop laughing right now, mister!"
  315. >Rex looks between you both
  316. >"I don't understand what's going on. Is this a human thing?"
  317. >You stand up, using the wall as a crutch
  318. Oh god, that's hilarious. No, Rex, Fluttershy doesn't "own" me. She's just crazy.
  319. >He brightens up
  320. >"Oh, ok then."
  321.  
  322. 11/?
  323.  
  324. >He smiles at her
  325. >"Oh, I recognise you. You were at Anon's house this morning! A pleasure to meet you!"
  326. >He extends a paw
  327. >She squirts him in the face
  328. >"GAAH! IT BURNS!"
  329. >He flails around and runs into a wall, falling back and clutching his face
  330. >Fluttershy starts crying
  331. >"I'M SO SORRY I'M SO SORRY!"
  332. >She moves around so much the bin she's in topples over, slamming to the floor and ejecting Fluttershy, who is covered in banana peels and a few mice
  333. >You look towards Rex
  334. >"OOOH UNDERGODS HELP ME. I'VE BEEN ASSUALTED! LEND ME YOUR AID!"
  335. >You sit down and hold your head in your hands, laughing until you can laugh no more
  336. >30 minutes later you look around at the alley
  337. >There's trash everywhere, Rex is unconscious, Fluttershy is playing with the mice from the bin and you are wondering how this is your life
  338. >You sigh and walk over to Fluttershy
  339. >She smiles up at you
  340. >"H-hi, Anon. Look at what Mister Mousey can do!"
  341. >The mouse does a tapdance
  342. >It's amazing
  343. >You shake your head and crouch down so that you're eye level with her
  344. Please stop doing this
  345. >"W-what?"
  346. Harassing me. I just want to live my life in peace. Can't you give me that?
  347. >"I'm not harassing you if I'm showing you my love!"
  348. >You stare at her
  349. >She stares at you
  350. >After a while she moves her hoof blindingly fast and pushes your nose
  351. >"Boop!"
  352.  
  353. 12/?
  354.  
  355. >You can't help but chuckle
  356. >You go over to Rex, leaving Fluttershy and her mouse friends to play in the trash
  357. >Prod him
  358. >"..uhh... What happened? Did the gods come to my aid?"
  359. I never took you for a religious type, Rex.
  360. >"No one's religious until they can find a way to make god work in their favour."
  361. >You stare at him
  362. I think that's the smartest thing you've ever said
  363. >You help him to his feet, still grumbling about gods and unholy water
  364. Come on, Rex. Lets go get you drunk.
  365. >You enter the tavern, telling Fluttershy to go home and take a shower on the way in
  366. >She doesn't listen, too wrapped up with her new mouse friends
  367. >You and Rex spend the rest of the day telling the entire tavern tales of how you and Rex held of a horde of giant rats armed with unholy water, and how the gods themselves came to your aid
  368. >It probably wasn't true. But alcohol makes everything real
  369. >Later that night, you both say good night to the tavern and leave, supporting each other's weight as you make it back to your house
  370. >Rex collapses on your sofa again and you can't even be bothered going upstairs so you collapse on the floor next to him
  371. >You're glad you met Rex
  372. >He's such a bro
  373. >It was to be expected, really.
  374. >The laws of the universe are absolute
  375. >Dogs really are a Man's best friend.
  376.  
  377. 13/13
  378. The End.
/FLUTTERRAPE/

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