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[REQUEST] Anonymous - Superheroes

By Nebulus
Created: 2020-12-17 21:31:33
Updated: 2021-07-03 11:01:05
Expiry: Never

  1. Originally uploaded to Pastebin: January 11th, 2013
  2. ---
  3.  
  4. Got bored as fuck one day.
  5. Asked for requests to satiate my lust for writing.
  6. Got these:
  7.  
  8. "fluttershy is a unicorn instead of pegasus?"
  9.  
  10. And
  11.  
  12. "This was posted in AiE but didn't take off.
  13. Anon is a superhero. Anon's powerset includes:
  14. Accurately tell the weight of any object.
  15. Can tell the last time someone had sex by scent.
  16. He can read a persons mind by inserting his tongue into their anus.
  17. He can talk to crustaceans."
  18.  
  19.  
  20. WELL SHIT THAT'S GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME.
  21. Both were Anonymous posters, so I can't credit any names. But they can live their lives knowing that they caused this travesty to appear
  22.  
  23.  
  24.  
  25. -------------------------------------
  26. >Day Justice Toast in Equestria
  27. >You are Anon
  28. >Or as you are better known as:
  29. >Anon
  30. >Saviour of Ponyville
  31. >You wake up in your house and smell the air
  32. >Smells like crime
  33. >Run out your bedroom and downstairs, pulling your bright blue cape off the door as you go
  34. >Sit at the table and pour a bowl of Criminal Flakes
  35. >"The Number One Breakfast for those with intent to break the law"
  36. >Gotta eat like a criminal to think like a criminal to beat criminals
  37. >Finish eating it and stroll to your front door
  38. >Strike a pose as you breathe in the morning air
  39. >A nearby pony climaxes at the sight of you
  40. >Smile
  41. >Stroll down the path into Ponyville, waving to mares who then orgasm violently
  42. >One of them was on a ladder when it happened, falling onto a small foal and hospitalising him.
  43. >He was probably breaking the law anyway
  44. >Reach the town hall and walk up to the Mayor's office
  45. >Punch open the door
  46. >"DAMMIT, ANON! THAT'S THE Nyeaagh..."
  47. >The mayor takes a moment to finish creaming herself
  48. >"Thats... THAT'S THE 5TH DOOR THIS WEEK"
  49. Justice stops for no door.
  50. >"Shut up. I have a job for you."
  51. >She throws a folder onto the table
  52. >You pick it up and study it
  53. >"She calls herself the "Fetishiser". Think you can handle it?"
  54. She'll learn soon enough not to mess with the law, Ma'am.
  55. >"Whatever. Just sort it out. She's scaring away tourists"
  56. >Stroll towards the shattered door
  57. >"Oh, and Anon?"
  58. >Turn around and strike another pose
  59. Yes, Ma'am?
  60. >"Marry me."
  61. No can do, Ma'am.
  62. >Walk out the door. Criminals await.
  63. >After you get to the Fetishiser's lair of evil you punch the door off it's hinges
  64. >The room is dark, save for a chair
  65. >The chair turns around and the lights come on
  66. >Fluttershy is sat there stroking a pissed off looking Angel
  67. >"Ahh, m-mister Anon. I've been expecting you!"
  68. Fluttershy... Where is the Fetishiser?
  69. >She chuckles and takes off her hat, releaving a large horn
  70. >Then then puts on an eyepatch and draws a moustache over her lip with a black marker
  71. >"I AM THE FETISHISER!"
  72. FLUTTERSHY! YOU TRAITOR! I TRUSTED YOU!
  73. >"Well you need to pick better allies, Anon. Now suffer my wrath!"
  74. >She picks up a nearby otter with magic and throws it at you, the otter screeching in fear whilst in flight
  75. >You quickly judge that the otter weighs about 9.5 kilograms and catch it with both hands, placing it on the floor and nudging it away with your foot
  76. >"Impressive! But see how you can handle THIS!"
  77. >She charges up her horn again and in a flash she's in a supervillain outfit
  78. >"Are costumes your fetish, Anon?"
  79. >You clutch your rapidly growing boner and drop to the floor in agony
  80. Y-you bastard...
  81. >"HA HA HA!! I've found your weakness, now there's nothing that can stop me!"
  82. >She walks over to you and strokes your face, leaning down and licking you
  83. >You can't let her win
  84. >Lives and public decency laws depend on it!
  85. >You let out a roar and push her away
  86. >She squeals
  87. >"Impossible! I've found your fetish! I won!"
  88. >Glare down at her
  89. Sorry, Fluttershy. But I'm already taken.
  90. >"By who?!"
  91. >You draw back a fist and channel all your strength into it
  92. JUSTICE.
  93. >You let loose and slam your fist into her jaw, unleashing a shockwave that shatters all the windows in the house, cracks the floorboards and sends Fluttershy flying backwards through her wall and into a tree outside
  94. >You sigh
  95. >Another day, another victory
  96. >Walk out of the Fluttershy shaped hole and up to the tree
  97. >Fluttershy is slumped against it
  98. >You stand over her and strike a pose
  99. >The postmare flying above you at the time faints and crashes into a lake
  100. >Fluttershy groans
  101. >"D-did we have sex?"
  102. No.
  103. >"Oh..."
  104. >She tries to laugh, but ends up coughing
  105. What's so funny?
  106. >"Y-you may have defeated me... But my master... He will be the end of you..."
  107. >Your eyes widen
  108. >Of course she wasn't working alone. No single pony could orchestrate such a wave of terror
  109. >Pick her up and slam her against the tree, her head hitting the bark hard
  110. WHERE IS HE?
  111. >"Ouch... Never start with the head, the victim gets all... Fuzzy..."
  112. >Slam her again
  113. WHERE IS HE?!
  114. >Fluttershy laughs
  115. >"You... You have... NOTHING. To threaten me with..."
  116. >She cackles again
  117. >Time to take drastic measures
  118. >You spin her upside down so that her face is parallel with your crotch
  119. >"O-oh my~"
  120. >You pin her against the tree and push aside her tail
  121. >You lick you lips
  122. >And plunge your tongue deep inside her anus
  123. >Fluttershy's thoughts fill your own
  124. >Fetish attempts, childhood trauma, flight camp, past colt/mare/bearfriends
  125. >But you're searching for something else
  126. >Something...
  127. >THERE.
  128. >Fluttershy has many memories of her talking to a mysterious figure in Town Hall nearly every day
  129. >That's where you're going
  130. >You pull your tongue out of her anus, much to her displeasure and drop her on the floor
  131. >"P-please put it back..."
  132. No.
  133. >You run down the path and into Ponyville, trying to get the taste out of your mouth
  134. >You get to the town hall and kick open the main doors
  135. >Twilight Sparkle screams, the doors narrowly missing her
  136. >"A-Anon! W-what are you doing here?"
  137. Superhero stuff. Can't chat
  138. >"W-WAIT! Umm..."
  139. >You look at her
  140. Yes? Come on Twilight, I have Justice to serve.
  141. >"D-do you want to go out on a date?"
  142. A date. Really?
  143. >"Yes!"
  144. Uhh. No thanks, Twilight.
  145. >"Why? Come on, Anon! It'll be fun!"
  146. No. I have work to do.
  147. >"You're missing out! I'm a virgin!"
  148. >You stare at her
  149. >She looks back with bedroom eyes
  150. >"Don't you want to sleep with an innocent little virgin?"
  151. >You smell the air
  152. >Pick up Twilight
  153. >She struggles not to orgasm right there
  154. >You take a deep whiff of her mane
  155. >Drop her
  156. Liar.
  157. >Twilight looks at you, shocked
  158. >"W-what?!"
  159. You last had sex when you were... Uhh. 5. Eww.
  160. >She looks down, ashamed
  161. >"My big brother and I were close..."
  162. >Without stopping to talk about childhood incest adventures, you run up the stairs towards the Mayor's office
  163. >You notice that the door is already open
  164. >Well that won't do
  165. >You smile at the mayor, who's giving you a "what the hell are you doing" face
  166. >You politely shut the door
  167. >Wait for about 3 seconds
  168. >The kick that mother fucker open
  169. >"DAMMIT, ANON! THAT'S THE 6TH DOOR THIS WEEK!"
  170. Miss Mayor, the real culprit is in this very building! The Fetishiser was working for someone higher up!
  171. >The Mayor chuckles darkly
  172. >"Why, of course she was, Anon."
  173. >She pulls a top hat out from under her desk and puts in on, as well as taking out her now aparently false teeth, replacing them with a new set, made completely out of gold
  174. Son of a bitch. It was you all along!
  175. >The Mayor laughs
  176. But why, Mayor?
  177. >"Don't call me the Mayor. Call me-"
  178. >She strikes a pose, good enough to rival yours
  179. >"THE MAYOR"
  180. >You wince
  181. >Dat name
  182. >2good4you
  183. >You crack your knuckles
  184. >The Mayor cracks her hooves
  185. >What.
  186. >She pounces on you before you can react and starts licking your face
  187. >Her costume had already given you a boner the likes of which you'd never seen, but you had to prevail, the world is depending on you!
  188. >She's too strong though
  189. >There's only one thing to do
  190. >You close your eyes and begin to hum
  191. >The Mayor stops, still weighing you down
  192. >"What are you... No- NO!"
  193. >She scrambles off you, a panic-stricken look on her face
  194. >Your hums get louder until you reach the highest note you can, and then:
  195. CREATURES OF SHELL AND CLAW! LEND ME YOUR AID!
  196. >The Mayor screams in terror as the walls, ceiling and floor explode
  197. >Thousands upon thousands of Crabs, Lobsters and Hermits crawl out of the holes in the room, flooding it with sea water and the smell of rotting carcasses
  198. >The sounds of ten thousand clacking claws drown out the Mayor's screams as the horde of deep-sea life descends on her, ripping her limb from limb
  199. >The entire time you have been striking a pose and performing the loudest soprano opera you can.
  200. >After 30 more seconds the Crustaceans crawl back into the walls, leaving the office a soggy, bloodsoaked and utterly trashed mess
  201. >You look down at the tattered remains of the Mayor's Top Hat
  202. >You slowly pick it up and look around the office
  203. >A thought crosses your mind
  204. >You hold the hat up to the light and think for a while
  205. >With the Mayor gone, crime and villainy will rule this town
  206. >In order for there to be order, someone will have to take charge
  207. >Someone must always be in charge
  208. >You walk over to the Mayor's desk, slowly sitting down and facing the door
  209. >You raise the hat over your body and lower it onto your head
  210. >Lightning crackles from your fingers and your eyes glow blue
  211. >The office becomes alive with magic, the damage repairing itself and the smell of death disappearing
  212. >The plaque on the wall changes
  213. >The name goes from Mayor Mare to Anon
  214. >A pony with tied back hair walks into the room, and sees you wearing a bloodstained top hat
  215. >"What-"
  216. Tell them only that the old Mayor is dead. And that Anon the superhero died with her.
  217. >She runs back out screaming
  218. >You place your hands on the desk and grimace at your new destiny
  219. There must always be-
  220.  
  221. A MAYOR OF PONYVILLE
  222.  
  223. The End

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