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[REQUEST] Anonymous - Superheroes

By Nebulus
Created: 17th December 2020 05:47:51 PM

  1. Originally uploaded to Pastebin: January 11th, 2013
  2. ---
  3.  
  4. Got bored as fuck one day.
  5. Asked for requests to satiate my lust for writing.
  6. Got these:
  7.  
  8. "fluttershy is a unicorn instead of pegasus?"
  9.  
  10. And
  11.  
  12. "This was posted in AiE but didn't take off.
  13. Anon is a superhero. Anon's powerset includes:
  14. Accurately tell the weight of any object.
  15. Can tell the last time someone had sex by scent.
  16. He can read a persons mind by inserting his tongue into their anus.
  17. He can talk to crustaceans."
  18.  
  19.  
  20. WELL SHIT THAT'S GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME.
  21. Both were Anonymous posters, so I can't credit any names. But they can live their lives knowing that they caused this travesty to appear
  22.  
  23.  
  24.  
  25. -------------------------------------
  26. >Day Justice Toast in Equestria
  27. >You are Anon
  28. >Or as you are better known as:
  29. >Anon
  30. >Saviour of Ponyville
  31. >You wake up in your house and smell the air
  32. >Smells like crime
  33. >Run out your bedroom and downstairs, pulling your bright blue cape off the door as you go
  34. >Sit at the table and pour a bowl of Criminal Flakes
  35. >"The Number One Breakfast for those with intent to break the law"
  36. >Gotta eat like a criminal to think like a criminal to beat criminals
  37. >Finish eating it and stroll to your front door
  38. >Strike a pose as you breathe in the morning air
  39. >A nearby pony climaxes at the sight of you
  40. >Smile
  41. >Stroll down the path into Ponyville, waving to mares who then orgasm violently
  42. >One of them was on a ladder when it happened, falling onto a small foal and hospitalising him.
  43. >He was probably breaking the law anyway
  44. >Reach the town hall and walk up to the Mayor's office
  45. >Punch open the door
  46. >"DAMMIT, ANON! THAT'S THE Nyeaagh..."
  47. >The mayor takes a moment to finish creaming herself
  48. >"Thats... THAT'S THE 5TH DOOR THIS WEEK"
  49. Justice stops for no door.
  50. >"Shut up. I have a job for you."
  51. >She throws a folder onto the table
  52. >You pick it up and study it
  53. >"She calls herself the "Fetishiser". Think you can handle it?"
  54. She'll learn soon enough not to mess with the law, Ma'am.
  55. >"Whatever. Just sort it out. She's scaring away tourists"
  56. >Stroll towards the shattered door
  57. >"Oh, and Anon?"
  58. >Turn around and strike another pose
  59. Yes, Ma'am?
  60. >"Marry me."
  61. No can do, Ma'am.
  62. >Walk out the door. Criminals await.
  63.  
  64. 1/?
  65.  
  66. >After you get to the Fetishiser's lair of evil you punch the door off it's hinges
  67. >The room is dark, save for a chair
  68. >The chair turns around and the lights come on
  69. >Fluttershy is sat there stroking a pissed off looking Angel
  70. >"Ahh, m-mister Anon. I've been expecting you!"
  71. Fluttershy... Where is the Fetishiser?
  72. >She chuckles and takes off her hat, releaving a large horn
  73. >Then then puts on an eyepatch and draws a moustache over her lip with a black marker
  74. >"I AM THE FETISHISER!"
  75. FLUTTERSHY! YOU TRAITOR! I TRUSTED YOU!
  76. >"Well you need to pick better allies, Anon. Now suffer my wrath!"
  77. >She picks up a nearby otter with magic and throws it at you, the otter screeching in fear whilst in flight
  78. >You quickly judge that the otter weighs about 9.5 kilograms and catch it with both hands, placing it on the floor and nudging it away with your foot
  79. >"Impressive! But see how you can handle THIS!"
  80. >She charges up her horn again and in a flash she's in a supervillain outfit
  81. >"Are costumes your fetish, Anon?"
  82. >You clutch your rapidly growing boner and drop to the floor in agony
  83. Y-you bastard...
  84. >"HA HA HA!! I've found your weakness, now there's nothing that can stop me!"
  85. >She walks over to you and strokes your face, leaning down and licking you
  86. >You can't let her win
  87. >Lives and public decency laws depend on it!
  88. >You let out a roar and push her away
  89. >She squeals
  90. >"Impossible! I've found your fetish! I won!"
  91. >Glare down at her
  92. Sorry, Fluttershy. But I'm already taken.
  93. >"By who?!"
  94. >You draw back a fist and channel all your strength into it
  95. JUSTICE.
  96. >You let loose and slam your fist into her jaw, unleashing a shockwave that shatters all the windows in the house, cracks the floorboards and sends Fluttershy flying backwards through her wall and into a tree outside
  97.  
  98. 2/?
  99.  
  100. >You sigh
  101. >Another day, another victory
  102. >Walk out of the Fluttershy shaped hole and up to the tree
  103. >Fluttershy is slumped against it
  104. >You stand over her and strike a pose
  105. >The postmare flying above you at the time faints and crashes into a lake
  106. >Fluttershy groans
  107. >"D-did we have sex?"
  108. No.
  109. >"Oh..."
  110. >She tries to laugh, but ends up coughing
  111. What's so funny?
  112. >"Y-you may have defeated me... But my master... He will be the end of you..."
  113. >Your eyes widen
  114. >Of course she wasn't working alone. No single pony could orchestrate such a wave of terror
  115. >Pick her up and slam her against the tree, her head hitting the bark hard
  116. WHERE IS HE?
  117. >"Ouch... Never start with the head, the victim gets all... Fuzzy..."
  118. >Slam her again
  119. WHERE IS HE?!
  120. >Fluttershy laughs
  121. >"You... You have... NOTHING. To threaten me with..."
  122. >She cackles again
  123. >Time to take drastic measures
  124. >You spin her upside down so that her face is parallel with your crotch
  125. >"O-oh my~"
  126. >You pin her against the tree and push aside her tail
  127. >You lick you lips
  128. >And plunge your tongue deep inside her anus
  129.  
  130. 3/?
  131.  
  132. >Fluttershy's thoughts fill your own
  133. >Fetish attempts, childhood trauma, flight camp, past colt/mare/bearfriends
  134. >But you're searching for something else
  135. >Something...
  136. >THERE.
  137. >Fluttershy has many memories of her talking to a mysterious figure in Town Hall nearly every day
  138. >That's where you're going
  139. >You pull your tongue out of her anus, much to her displeasure and drop her on the floor
  140. >"P-please put it back..."
  141. No.
  142. >You run down the path and into Ponyville, trying to get the taste out of your mouth
  143. >You get to the town hall and kick open the main doors
  144. >Twilight Sparkle screams, the doors narrowly missing her
  145. >"A-Anon! W-what are you doing here?"
  146. Superhero stuff. Can't chat
  147. >"W-WAIT! Umm..."
  148. >You look at her
  149. Yes? Come on Twilight, I have Justice to serve.
  150. >"D-do you want to go out on a date?"
  151. A date. Really?
  152. >"Yes!"
  153. Uhh. No thanks, Twilight.
  154. >"Why? Come on, Anon! It'll be fun!"
  155. No. I have work to do.
  156. >"You're missing out! I'm a virgin!"
  157. >You stare at her
  158. >She looks back with bedroom eyes
  159. >"Don't you want to sleep with an innocent little virgin?"
  160. >You smell the air
  161. >Pick up Twilight
  162. >She struggles not to orgasm right there
  163. >You take a deep whiff of her mane
  164. >Drop her
  165. Liar.
  166.  
  167. 4/?
  168.  
  169. >Twilight looks at you, shocked
  170. >"W-what?!"
  171. You last had sex when you were... Uhh. 5. Eww.
  172. >She looks down, ashamed
  173. >"My big brother and I were close..."
  174. >Without stopping to talk about childhood incest adventures, you run up the stairs towards the Mayor's office
  175. >You notice that the door is already open
  176. >Well that won't do
  177. >You smile at the mayor, who's giving you a "what the hell are you doing" face
  178. >You politely shut the door
  179. >Wait for about 3 seconds
  180. >The kick that mother fucker open
  181. >"DAMMIT, ANON! THAT'S THE 6TH DOOR THIS WEEK!"
  182. Miss Mayor, the real culprit is in this very building! The Fetishiser was working for someone higher up!
  183. >The Mayor chuckles darkly
  184. >"Why, of course she was, Anon."
  185. >She pulls a top hat out from under her desk and puts in on, as well as taking out her now aparently false teeth, replacing them with a new set, made completely out of gold
  186. Son of a bitch. It was you all along!
  187. >The Mayor laughs
  188. But why, Mayor?
  189. >"Don't call me the Mayor. Call me-"
  190. >She strikes a pose, good enough to rival yours
  191. >"THE MAYOR"
  192. >You wince
  193. >Dat name
  194. >2good4you
  195.  
  196. 5/?
  197.  
  198. >You crack your knuckles
  199. >The Mayor cracks her hooves
  200. >What.
  201. >She pounces on you before you can react and starts licking your face
  202. >Her costume had already given you a boner the likes of which you'd never seen, but you had to prevail, the world is depending on you!
  203. >She's too strong though
  204. >There's only one thing to do
  205. >You close your eyes and begin to hum
  206. >The Mayor stops, still weighing you down
  207. >"What are you... No- NO!"
  208. >She scrambles off you, a panic-stricken look on her face
  209. >Your hums get louder until you reach the highest note you can, and then:
  210. CREATURES OF SHELL AND CLAW! LEND ME YOUR AID!
  211. >The Mayor screams in terror as the walls, ceiling and floor explode
  212. >Thousands upon thousands of Crabs, Lobsters and Hermits crawl out of the holes in the room, flooding it with sea water and the smell of rotting carcasses
  213. >The sounds of ten thousand clacking claws drown out the Mayor's screams as the horde of deep-sea life descends on her, ripping her limb from limb
  214. >The entire time you have been striking a pose and performing the loudest soprano opera you can.
  215. >After 30 more seconds the Crustaceans crawl back into the walls, leaving the office a soggy, bloodsoaked and utterly trashed mess
  216. >You look down at the tattered remains of the Mayor's Top Hat
  217. >You slowly pick it up and look around the office
  218. >A thought crosses your mind
  219.  
  220. 6/?
  221.  
  222. >You hold the hat up to the light and think for a while
  223. >With the Mayor gone, crime and villainy will rule this town
  224. >In order for there to be order, someone will have to take charge
  225. >Someone must always be in charge
  226. >You walk over to the Mayor's desk, slowly sitting down and facing the door
  227. >You raise the hat over your body and lower it onto your head
  228. >Lightning crackles from your fingers and your eyes glow blue
  229. >The office becomes alive with magic, the damage repairing itself and the smell of death disappearing
  230. >The plaque on the wall changes
  231. >The name goes from Mayor Mare to Anon
  232. >A pony with tied back hair walks into the room, and sees you wearing a bloodstained top hat
  233. >"What-"
  234. Tell them only that the old Mayor is dead. And that Anon the superhero died with her.
  235. >She runs back out screaming
  236. >You place your hands on the desk and grimace at your new destiny
  237. There must always be-
  238.  
  239. A MAYOR OF PONYVILLE
  240.  
  241. 7/7
  242. The End
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