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[REQUEST] Anonymous - Superheroes
By NebulusCreated: 2020-12-17 21:31:33
Updated: 2021-07-03 11:01:05
Expiry: Never
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Originally uploaded to Pastebin: January 11th, 2013
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Got bored as fuck one day.
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Asked for requests to satiate my lust for writing.
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Got these:
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"fluttershy is a unicorn instead of pegasus?"
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And
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"This was posted in AiE but didn't take off.
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Anon is a superhero. Anon's powerset includes:
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Accurately tell the weight of any object.
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Can tell the last time someone had sex by scent.
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He can read a persons mind by inserting his tongue into their anus.
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He can talk to crustaceans."
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WELL SHIT THAT'S GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME.
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Both were Anonymous posters, so I can't credit any names. But they can live their lives knowing that they caused this travesty to appear
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>Day Justice Toast in Equestria
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>You are Anon
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>Or as you are better known as:
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>Anon
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>Saviour of Ponyville
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>You wake up in your house and smell the air
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>Smells like crime
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>Run out your bedroom and downstairs, pulling your bright blue cape off the door as you go
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>Sit at the table and pour a bowl of Criminal Flakes
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>"The Number One Breakfast for those with intent to break the law"
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>Gotta eat like a criminal to think like a criminal to beat criminals
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>Finish eating it and stroll to your front door
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>Strike a pose as you breathe in the morning air
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>A nearby pony climaxes at the sight of you
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>Smile
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>Stroll down the path into Ponyville, waving to mares who then orgasm violently
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>One of them was on a ladder when it happened, falling onto a small foal and hospitalising him.
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>He was probably breaking the law anyway
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>Reach the town hall and walk up to the Mayor's office
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>Punch open the door
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>"DAMMIT, ANON! THAT'S THE Nyeaagh..."
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>The mayor takes a moment to finish creaming herself
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>"Thats... THAT'S THE 5TH DOOR THIS WEEK"
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Justice stops for no door.
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>"Shut up. I have a job for you."
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>She throws a folder onto the table
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>You pick it up and study it
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>"She calls herself the "Fetishiser". Think you can handle it?"
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She'll learn soon enough not to mess with the law, Ma'am.
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>"Whatever. Just sort it out. She's scaring away tourists"
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>Stroll towards the shattered door
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>"Oh, and Anon?"
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>Turn around and strike another pose
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Yes, Ma'am?
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>"Marry me."
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No can do, Ma'am.
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>Walk out the door. Criminals await.
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>After you get to the Fetishiser's lair of evil you punch the door off it's hinges
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>The room is dark, save for a chair
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>The chair turns around and the lights come on
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>Fluttershy is sat there stroking a pissed off looking Angel
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>"Ahh, m-mister Anon. I've been expecting you!"
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Fluttershy... Where is the Fetishiser?
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>She chuckles and takes off her hat, releaving a large horn
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>Then then puts on an eyepatch and draws a moustache over her lip with a black marker
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>"I AM THE FETISHISER!"
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FLUTTERSHY! YOU TRAITOR! I TRUSTED YOU!
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>"Well you need to pick better allies, Anon. Now suffer my wrath!"
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>She picks up a nearby otter with magic and throws it at you, the otter screeching in fear whilst in flight
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>You quickly judge that the otter weighs about 9.5 kilograms and catch it with both hands, placing it on the floor and nudging it away with your foot
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>"Impressive! But see how you can handle THIS!"
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>She charges up her horn again and in a flash she's in a supervillain outfit
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>"Are costumes your fetish, Anon?"
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>You clutch your rapidly growing boner and drop to the floor in agony
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Y-you bastard...
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>"HA HA HA!! I've found your weakness, now there's nothing that can stop me!"
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>She walks over to you and strokes your face, leaning down and licking you
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>You can't let her win
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>Lives and public decency laws depend on it!
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>You let out a roar and push her away
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>She squeals
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>"Impossible! I've found your fetish! I won!"
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>Glare down at her
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Sorry, Fluttershy. But I'm already taken.
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>"By who?!"
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>You draw back a fist and channel all your strength into it
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JUSTICE.
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>You let loose and slam your fist into her jaw, unleashing a shockwave that shatters all the windows in the house, cracks the floorboards and sends Fluttershy flying backwards through her wall and into a tree outside
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>You sigh
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>Another day, another victory
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>Walk out of the Fluttershy shaped hole and up to the tree
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>Fluttershy is slumped against it
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>You stand over her and strike a pose
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>The postmare flying above you at the time faints and crashes into a lake
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>Fluttershy groans
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>"D-did we have sex?"
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No.
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>"Oh..."
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>She tries to laugh, but ends up coughing
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What's so funny?
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>"Y-you may have defeated me... But my master... He will be the end of you..."
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>Your eyes widen
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>Of course she wasn't working alone. No single pony could orchestrate such a wave of terror
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>Pick her up and slam her against the tree, her head hitting the bark hard
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WHERE IS HE?
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>"Ouch... Never start with the head, the victim gets all... Fuzzy..."
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>Slam her again
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WHERE IS HE?!
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>Fluttershy laughs
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>"You... You have... NOTHING. To threaten me with..."
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>She cackles again
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>Time to take drastic measures
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>You spin her upside down so that her face is parallel with your crotch
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>"O-oh my~"
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>You pin her against the tree and push aside her tail
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>You lick you lips
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>And plunge your tongue deep inside her anus
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>Fluttershy's thoughts fill your own
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>Fetish attempts, childhood trauma, flight camp, past colt/mare/bearfriends
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>But you're searching for something else
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>Something...
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>THERE.
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>Fluttershy has many memories of her talking to a mysterious figure in Town Hall nearly every day
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>That's where you're going
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>You pull your tongue out of her anus, much to her displeasure and drop her on the floor
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>"P-please put it back..."
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No.
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>You run down the path and into Ponyville, trying to get the taste out of your mouth
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>You get to the town hall and kick open the main doors
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>Twilight Sparkle screams, the doors narrowly missing her
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>"A-Anon! W-what are you doing here?"
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Superhero stuff. Can't chat
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>"W-WAIT! Umm..."
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>You look at her
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Yes? Come on Twilight, I have Justice to serve.
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>"D-do you want to go out on a date?"
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A date. Really?
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>"Yes!"
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Uhh. No thanks, Twilight.
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>"Why? Come on, Anon! It'll be fun!"
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No. I have work to do.
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>"You're missing out! I'm a virgin!"
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>You stare at her
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>She looks back with bedroom eyes
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>"Don't you want to sleep with an innocent little virgin?"
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>You smell the air
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>Pick up Twilight
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>She struggles not to orgasm right there
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>You take a deep whiff of her mane
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>Drop her
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Liar.
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>Twilight looks at you, shocked
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>"W-what?!"
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You last had sex when you were... Uhh. 5. Eww.
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>She looks down, ashamed
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>"My big brother and I were close..."
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>Without stopping to talk about childhood incest adventures, you run up the stairs towards the Mayor's office
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>You notice that the door is already open
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>Well that won't do
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>You smile at the mayor, who's giving you a "what the hell are you doing" face
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>You politely shut the door
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>Wait for about 3 seconds
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>The kick that mother fucker open
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>"DAMMIT, ANON! THAT'S THE 6TH DOOR THIS WEEK!"
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Miss Mayor, the real culprit is in this very building! The Fetishiser was working for someone higher up!
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>The Mayor chuckles darkly
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>"Why, of course she was, Anon."
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>She pulls a top hat out from under her desk and puts in on, as well as taking out her now aparently false teeth, replacing them with a new set, made completely out of gold
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Son of a bitch. It was you all along!
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>The Mayor laughs
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But why, Mayor?
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>"Don't call me the Mayor. Call me-"
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>She strikes a pose, good enough to rival yours
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>"THE MAYOR"
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>You wince
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>Dat name
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>2good4you
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>You crack your knuckles
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>The Mayor cracks her hooves
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>What.
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>She pounces on you before you can react and starts licking your face
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>Her costume had already given you a boner the likes of which you'd never seen, but you had to prevail, the world is depending on you!
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>She's too strong though
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>There's only one thing to do
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>You close your eyes and begin to hum
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>The Mayor stops, still weighing you down
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>"What are you... No- NO!"
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>She scrambles off you, a panic-stricken look on her face
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>Your hums get louder until you reach the highest note you can, and then:
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CREATURES OF SHELL AND CLAW! LEND ME YOUR AID!
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>The Mayor screams in terror as the walls, ceiling and floor explode
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>Thousands upon thousands of Crabs, Lobsters and Hermits crawl out of the holes in the room, flooding it with sea water and the smell of rotting carcasses
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>The sounds of ten thousand clacking claws drown out the Mayor's screams as the horde of deep-sea life descends on her, ripping her limb from limb
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>The entire time you have been striking a pose and performing the loudest soprano opera you can.
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>After 30 more seconds the Crustaceans crawl back into the walls, leaving the office a soggy, bloodsoaked and utterly trashed mess
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>You look down at the tattered remains of the Mayor's Top Hat
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>You slowly pick it up and look around the office
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>A thought crosses your mind
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>You hold the hat up to the light and think for a while
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>With the Mayor gone, crime and villainy will rule this town
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>In order for there to be order, someone will have to take charge
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>Someone must always be in charge
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>You walk over to the Mayor's desk, slowly sitting down and facing the door
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>You raise the hat over your body and lower it onto your head
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>Lightning crackles from your fingers and your eyes glow blue
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>The office becomes alive with magic, the damage repairing itself and the smell of death disappearing
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>The plaque on the wall changes
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>The name goes from Mayor Mare to Anon
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>A pony with tied back hair walks into the room, and sees you wearing a bloodstained top hat
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>"What-"
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Tell them only that the old Mayor is dead. And that Anon the superhero died with her.
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>She runs back out screaming
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>You place your hands on the desk and grimace at your new destiny
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There must always be-
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A MAYOR OF PONYVILLE
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The End
by Nebulus
by Nebulus
by Nebulus
by Nebulus