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[FLUTTERRAPE] Luna's Obsession

By Nebulus
Created: 17th December 2020 05:50:59 PM

  1. Originally uploaded to Pastebin: January 11th, 2013
  2. ---
  3.  
  4. >Day 41 in Equestria
  5. >Well, Night 41, actually.
  6. >You are Anon
  7. >And you have a problem
  8. >Not a normal problem, like money, or good looks.
  9. >Not tax pressure or a physical disability.
  10. >No, you have a much worse problem
  11. >You stand by your bedroom window with a baseball bat, quivering slightly
  12. >You didn't really want to believe it at first
  13. >But unfortunately, you had to be the only alien in this world.
  14. >And for some bizzare reason, some ponies found you attractive
  15. >Very attractive
  16. >You've got Fluttershy, the Element of Kindness. She's problematic, but managable. Her timid nature can be used against her every time she tries something. So that's ok.
  17. >Pinkie Pie also likes you, but respects your decision as a friend so she keeps her distance
  18. >Hell of a nice pony, that Pinkie. You would probably date her were it not for your biggest problem
  19. >You kind of wish it was Twilight Sparkle. At least she's less awkward, less obsessive (sometimes) and by far less powerful
  20. >But nope.
  21. >It had to be you
  22. >It had to be her
  23. >At that moment the window you're stood next to shatters and a giant blue object crashes into your bed
  24. >"HUZZAH!"
  25. >WHACK.
  26. >You stand back and admire your handiwork
  27. >She's out cold. Again.
  28. >You've come to expect her every night around this time. You'd think she would learn, being a literal Goddess.
  29. >But nope.
  30. >You are Anon.
  31. >And Princess Luna is obsessed with you.
  32.  
  33. 1/?
  34.  
  35. >You sit down on your crushed bed and sigh, patting the alicorn on her head
  36. >Your hand moves through her mane and you burn yourself on a star
  37. >Fucking stars
  38. >Why don't they burn everything they touch?
  39. >Luna's tongue is hanging out of her mouth in a comedic fashion, some dribble flowing off it and onto your bedsheets
  40. >Smelling the air, you can tell that she's been thinking of you
  41. >Mostly because she left a trail of pastasauce and discharge on the way in
  42. >You stand up and prop your trusty bat against the wall
  43. >Given it's only use in this world, you've taken to calling the study piece of wood "Nightbane"
  44. >Cool name. But it got it purely because it's helped you foil night after night of Luna's amazing plans
  45. >You just hope she stay out of it tonight. It was a rough day
  46. >You got coerced into helping Fluttershy and her animals
  47. >She took every opportunity she could get to try and muddy your pants
  48. >Once you were covered from head to toe in every kind of animal food and shit, she said you had to take your clothes off
  49. >In her bedroom
  50. >Then clean all the dirt off your dick by rubbing it on her
  51. >Honestly, she just doesn't even try to hide it anymore.
  52. >You told her to throw herself in a fire and walked out
  53. >Then you swaggered your way through town covered in the foulest substances in existance, and nary a shite was given that day
  54. >Then nightfall came, and just as you were about to go to sleep you realised what time it was
  55. >30 minutes of waiting, but it was worth it to take Luna out of the picture
  56. >You pat her on the back, her body still sprawlled spread-eagle on your bed
  57. >You didn't worry about hurting her
  58. >Alicorn skulls are like diamond, can't break 'em.
  59. >But for some reason you can still inflict enough brain trauma to knock them out
  60. >Though you sometimes wondered if it was possible to damage Luna's brain any more than it already was
  61. >Heh.
  62. >Zing.
  63.  
  64. 2/?
  65.  
  66. >You shift Luna's body onto one side of the bed, on top of the covers.
  67. >You get underneath them on the other side of her
  68. Night, Luna
  69. >She replies with a snort in her unconcious state
  70. >Is she even knocked out or sleeping?
  71. >Fucking Alicorns
  72. >You quickly fall asleep to the gentle sound of Luna's breathing
  73.  
  74. >Morning
  75. >Wake up
  76. >Look to the right
  77. >A letter lies where Luna was led
  78. >As usual
  79. >Pick it up and lazily read it
  80. >"Dear Anonymous. I apologise on my Sister's behalf for her perplexing behaviour. I hope this matter can be resolved in the not-to-distant future"
  81. >"PS: I'm getting sick to death of dragging her back to Canterlot. Your window is far too small for my Royal Behind."
  82. >You look at your window
  83. >Completely spotless, as usual.
  84. >Like the whole thing never happened.
  85. >Celestia is great at cleanup
  86. >Walk downstairs, yawning
  87. >Before you can even pour yourself cereal someone knocks on the door
  88. >Sigh and go to open it
  89. >Fluttershy stands behind it, a worried look on her face
  90. >"Anonymous! Oh my goodness, you have to help! Angel bunny is being attacked by a bear!"
  91. You're the animal expert. You deal with it
  92. >"O-oh... Umm. I can't. I've gone b-blind..."
  93. >You don't even grace that with an answer
  94. >Look behind you and see Angel on the ground, covered in Ketchup.
  95. >You know that it's ketchup because the bottle is right next to him
  96. >Harry the Bear is stood over him, reading glasses on and holding a small book
  97. >Wave at them
  98. Hey, guys. Whatcha readin', Harry?
  99. >"ROOAOOOOARRrrrawwr..."
  100. History? Nice.
  101. >Fluttershy takes up your vision
  102. >"S-see! Oh dear! Save Angel! B-but give me your shirt. You don't want to get any of Harry's blood on it!"
  103.  
  104. 3/?
  105.  
  106. >Push her out the way and walk over the Harry
  107. >She squeals in delight
  108. >"D-don't hurt him too much, Anon!"
  109. >Get to Harry, who still has his reading glasses on. He's using a single claw to turn the pages on his tiny book
  110. >It's amazing.
  111. Hey, Harry. You're cool for today, you can head on home now.
  112. >He nods, pats you on the head and lumbers back to Fluttershy's cottage
  113. >Angel points at Fluttershy and shrugs
  114. I'll send her your way after I'm done with her, go on.
  115. >He chirps in approval and scampers after Harry
  116. >You turn to Fluttershy
  117. >"Oh, Anon! You were so-"
  118. >You punted her in the general direction of her cottage
  119. >You shield your eyes from the sun and watch her flight
  120. >Strain your ear when she's out of sight
  121. >A distant splash is heard, indicating that she hit the stream outside her cottage
  122. >Probably
  123. >You grunt in approval and walk back inside to eat your breakfast
  124. >Whilst doing so a newspaper gets pushed through your letterbox
  125. >Go over and pick it up, bringing it back to the table
  126. >Frontpage:
  127. >"STUDIES SHOW THAT ALICORNS AND HUMANS PRODUCE LIQUID GOLD DURING INTERCOURSE"
  128. Oh boy.
  129. >"Princess Luna stated that her continued studies of the mysterious ape, Anonymous, have led her to the conclusion that when Ho'monkdiq is placed inside an Alicorn, magic happens and liquid gold is the result"
  130. >"The Princess also had this to say: 'I think that Anon and I should have sex. It could save the economy'"
  131. Shocking.
  132. >You throw the paper in the bin and carry on munching
  133. >It's only a matter of time until the-
  134. >A scroll materialises next to you
  135. >-Letters arive.
  136.  
  137. 4/?
  138.  
  139. >You open it
  140. >"Greetings, Human Anonymous. I, Princess Luna am here"
  141. >You rip it up and carry on eating in silence for a few more minutes
  142. >Another letter flashes into existence
  143. >"Greetings?"
  144. >Torn up and binned
  145. >You finish your breakfast
  146. >Walk over to the sink to clean your bowl
  147. >Another scroll pops up
  148. >Catch it before it falls into the dirty water
  149. >"Please respond."
  150. Nah.
  151. >You ball it up and throw it into the bin on the way out the door
  152. >Walk down the road to Ponyville and Sugarcube Corner
  153. >Pass a strange looking bush on the way there, a wavy blue mane sticking out of it.
  154. >Think nothing of it
  155. >Hours pass, and you do your duty - Making cakes and other sweets with Pinkie Pie
  156. >She keeps her distance because she's such a good friend who understands and appreciates you
  157. >Nigga you smitten
  158. >Fuck off, brain.
  159. >Nothing eventful happens, however, save for finding Fluttershy in the oven
  160. >When you take out a baking tray with her on it, she's dark brown and smells delicious
  161. >"Is cooking your fetish?"
  162. No. Get out of my cookies.
  163. >She runs out of the room
  164. >You shake your head and carry on working
  165. >The shop closes up for the day and you go to get your payment
  166. >Pinkie Pie holds out her hoof, a small sack of bits resting on it
  167. >"Here you go, Anny!"
  168. >You take it with a smile
  169. Thanks, Pinkie.
  170. >She beams at you
  171. >"Wanna lick whipped cream off my pinkie pie?"
  172. Haha. No.
  173. >Run your ass out of there before your dick betrays you
  174. >Gotta stay strong
  175.  
  176. 5/?
  177.  
  178. >You get home and lock your door, then you lean against it and sigh
  179. >A few moments pass where you reflect on the day
  180. >As you settle down to read for the night, a loud thump is heard upstairs
  181. Oh god.
  182. >Another thump, followed by a muffled "HUZZAH!"
  183. OH GOD NO. SHE'S LEARNING
  184. >Run upstairs into your bedroom
  185. >Luna is on your bed, looking incredibly pleased with herself
  186. >"HUMAN ANONYMOUS! I tried to send you letters but you didn't respond! I assumed you were busy fighting dragons."
  187. >She grins toothily
  188. >"Did you fight many dragons?"
  189. Were you following me today?
  190. >"Yes! You noticed me!"
  191. >She starts bouncing around, saying "HUZZAH!" on each bounce
  192. >This pony rules Equestria
  193. >THIS PONY RULES THE FUCKING-
  194. Look, Luna. Stop.
  195. >She stops and smiles at you
  196. >"I have all night! What activities would you like to partake in?"
  197. Fun little game, it's called "race you to Canterlot". I'll meet you there. Ready? GO!
  198. >She explodes
  199. >Like, literally explodes
  200. >Luna goo covers the entire room
  201. >You stand in shock for a moment, watching red sauce slide down the walls
  202. >Sniff
  203. >Smells like pastasauce
  204. >A scroll pops into view next to your head
  205. >You grab it and open it
  206. >"I AM VICTORIOUS!"
  207. >Look back around the room, which is a complete mess after Luna's Spaghettiport
  208. >Your entire front is covered in Ragoo, as well
  209. >You groan and take off your clothes, hopping into the shower
  210.  
  211. 6/?
  212.  
  213. >The warm water washes over you and cleanses you of Luna's liquid awkwardness
  214. >Lean against the wall with a hand
  215. >Sigh deeply and shake your head
  216. Why me...
  217. >Luna's hooves massage your back and work out some of the tension
  218. >"Is this satisfactory?"
  219. Yeah, it is. Thanks, Luna.
  220. >...
  221. ...
  222. >"..."
  223. >Turn around
  224. >Luna smiles at you, soaking wet from the water, bits of pasta sauce still floating in her mane as if gravity doesn't apply there
  225. >Blink
  226. >She prods your junk with a hoof and lets out a barely audiable "huzzah!"
  227. >Blink again
  228. >Decide on a plan of action
  229. >Scream like a girl
  230.  
  231. >You run out of that bathroom completely naked
  232. >Luna, startled by your sudden escape, can't decide on what she wants to do and runs into your bathroom mirror, shattering it with her horn, wailing all the while
  233. >You run downstairs, trying not to slip because of your still wet feet
  234. >Hear a cry from the top of the stairs
  235. >"ANONYMOUS, WAIT! I SHALL ASSIST YOU!"
  236. OH GOD DON'T ASSIST-
  237. >Too late
  238. >Another Spaghettisplosion marks the arrival of Princess Luna - Goddess of the Night and Queen of the Dreamscape.
  239. >Your living room is now caked in red, tomato tasting sauce
  240. WHY?!
  241. >"WE... UHH... I MEAN- I THINK. WE COMMAND YOU TO-"
  242. >She can't speak properly
  243. >You gawp at her as she tries to find words
  244. >Eventually she just shuts her mouth
  245. >Smiles at you
  246. >And nods her head enthusiastically in your direction, as if you were meant to understand it
  247.  
  248. 7/?
  249.  
  250. >You run into your kitchen, slipping and sliding on your floor, which is now ankle deep in Dolmio
  251. >Luna tries to follow you, but instead just slides after you on her face
  252. >She crashes into your legs from behind and you land on her back
  253. >She instantly pops a wingboner so hard a small sonicboom breaks your expensive china and kitchen window
  254. >"HUZZAH! THE HUMAN ANONYMOUS HAS INITIATED SEXUAL ACTIVITIES!"
  255. WHAT? NO!
  256. >"WE SHALL NOW DEPART TO CANTERLOT TO PROCREATE AND CONTINUE THE ROYAL BLOODLINE!"
  257. OH GODDESS PLEASE NO
  258. >Her horn crackles with terrifying power and the front wall of your house detonates, sending wood and stone everywhere
  259. >Fluttershy, about to knock on your door, has a heart attack and assumes the Possum Position
  260. >Luna's wings flex and she takes flight, you clinging to her neck for dear life
  261. >Luna shouts over the wind
  262. >"ANONYMOUS! I AM PLEASED THAT YOU HAVE ADMITTED YOUR PASSION FOR ME, TELL ME, WHAT SEXUAL POSITION SHALL WE ATTEMPT FIRST? I HAVE MANY BOOKS, SEVERAL THOUSAND YEARS OLD, ON THE TOPIC OF SEX."
  263. FOR FUCKS SAKE, LUNA, I WANT TO GET OFF!
  264. >"YES! AND WE SHALL IN DUE TIME, LOVER! OH MY. WE MUST ALSO TELL MY SISTER OF THE GOOD NEWS!"
  265. YOU'RE INSANE!
  266. >"I WAS IMPRISONED FOR A THOUSAND YEARS! OF COURSE I'M INSANE!"
  267. AAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
  268. >You soar through clouds at a speed that would make Rainbow Dash blush
  269. >Eventually Luna hits a speed so high the air itself rearranges it's molecules to become the exact chemical consistency of Pastasauce, erupting in a collossal explosion of red in the evening sky
  270. >You feel sorry for any pony underneath it
  271. >Canterlot Castle draws closer and Luna shows no sign of stopping
  272. >Your throat is sore from screaming and shouting over the wind
  273. LUNA! SLOW DOWN! WE'RE GOING TO CRASH!
  274. >She looks back and grins, her eye twitching
  275. >"WE CANNOT STOP, ANONYMOUS! THERE ARE NO MEANS OF SLOWING DOWN ON THIS JOURNEY!"
  276. LUUUUUUNAAAAAAAAA-
  277. >You both crash into Luna's bedroom through the wall
  278.  
  279. 8/?
  280.  
  281. >Luna's Alicorn skull smashed into the wall like a bulldozer
  282. >You kept your head low to prevent any pieces of rock from crushing any bones
  283. >Fortunately you survive unscathed
  284. >Unfortunately you survived.
  285. >You look around at Luna's room
  286. >Pictures of you adorn the walls, including a very recent looking one of you looking straight at her, you see leaves all around the camera lens
  287. >Oh. That was today.
  288. >Luna smiles at you
  289. >"And now! We procreate! The Royal Bloodline won't continue itself!"
  290. Fuckin' A.
  291.  
  292. >You spend the rest of the night getting raped over and over again by the Goddess of the Moon.
  293. >Biology also flips you the bird and she ends up pregnant
  294. >The creature she eventually gives birth too marks the end of civilisation in Equestria.
  295. >It's very existence is so chaotic and such a sin against nature that the seal on Discord's prison is shattered and he returns, angrier than ever
  296. >This time he doesn't bother with any mind games, he just flat out destroys the elements of harmony
  297. >Unable to stop him, Twilight and Celestia surrender themselves and he uses their bodies as puppets to reenact old Shakespeare plays like Hamlet and Macbeth
  298. >They're actually really convincing performances. The critics love them.
  299.  
  300. >Oh and in case you were wondering
  301. >Luna called the abomination Dave.
  302.  
  303. >Fucking Dave.
  304.  
  305. 9/9
  306. The End
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