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[FLUTTERRAPE] The Everfree Bar

By Nebulus
Created: 17th December 2020 06:26:42 PM

  1. Originally uploaded to Pastebin: February 3rd, 2013
  2. ---
  3.  
  4. >Day Strangeness in Equestria
  5. >Wake up
  6. >Look at the wall across from your bed
  7. >A message is written on the wall
  8. >"Look up"
  9. >Look up
  10. >Fluttershy is positioned between two wooden beams, spread eagled over you, grinning
  11. OH HELL NO
  12. >She drops like a stone onto you and starts vigorously humping your face
  13. >Marejuice and the smell of a zoo fill your senses
  14. >With Fluttershy's horsevag occupying your entire vision, you stumble around the room waving your arms about and screaming
  15. >Eventually, Fluttershy climaxes and tenses up, gripping your head in a vice-like grip before falling off you
  16. >You fall the other way and you both lie panting on your bedroom floor
  17. >Slowly wipe the clear sticky goo from your face and glare at Fluttershy, who is lying flat on her back, sighing dreamily
  18. >Get to your feet and pick her up
  19. >Carry her over to the window
  20. >Throw her out
  21. >Walk into the bathroom and after that rather unorthodox means of waking up, you commence the routine.
  22.  
  23. >Shit, shower, shave.
  24. >Same as every day
  25. >You open your kitchen cupboard and pull out a box of Applejacks.
  26. >Pouring the bowl you lick your lips
  27. >Can still taste Fluttershy
  28. >It's gross
  29. >That mare never washes herself
  30. >You sit down at the table and chow down, thinking about what you're going to do today
  31. >Celestia had given you a handsome amount of money, as well as several forms of income due to being an endangered species, an ambassador for your people, and she owes you a favour
  32. >You think back to the moment where you saved Celestia from certain peril
  33. >From a wayward leaf
  34. >You had no idea that she had a phobia of leaves
  35. >Apparently, fall is one of her favourite seasons; because she likes watching leaves crumble and die
  36. >The more you know
  37. >In short, you have a fuckton of money, and don't need to work
  38.  
  39. 1/?
  40.  
  41. >You spend most of your days being lazy, indulging in food and chasing away Fluttershy, who also doesn't need to work because her parents pay for everything
  42. >You were shocked to find out that her mother is a porn star and her father is some pretentious contemporary artist
  43. >You've seen his work. It's terrible. Not even art. And yet people still pay for it.
  44. >Basically they both make ludicrous amounts of money from screwing the public
  45. >Boo yah
  46. >You finish up and head on outside, watching your back for Fluttershy lurking in any bushes
  47. >You turn your head and look at a nearby tree
  48. >Squint at it
  49. >Blink
  50. >Fluttershy is now stood in front of it, giving you the same look a deer would use on an oncoming car
  51. >Blink again
  52. >She's now wearing a massive strap-on, easily the girth of one of your arms
  53. >Blink
  54. >She's oiled up
  55. >Blink
  56. >She's jumped forwards a bit, still regarding you with the same confused look and fearful eyes
  57. >Nope
  58. >You backpedal the other direction, still watching Fluttershy who is pawing the ground
  59. >Turn all the way around and run into town, not looking back for a second
  60. >Later on you arrive at Twilight's, knocking on the door and panting
  61. >Spike opens the door
  62. >"Hey, Anon. What's up?"
  63. The sky
  64. >Laugh Track
  65. >You jump over Spike and stride up to Twilight, who is reading a book - "Creating Scientific Abominations for Dummies"
  66.  
  67. 2/?
  68.  
  69. >Damn that mare and her brilliant mind
  70. >You clear your throat
  71. >She looks up, sipping her tea
  72. >"Ah, good morning, Anonymous! What can I do for you?"
  73. Fluttershy is being creepy. Make her go away please.
  74. >Twilight sighs
  75. >"Anon. Every single day for the last 4 months you've come to this library and said the same thing. And every day I tell you the same thing. Do you know what my routine is?"
  76. Uhh-
  77. >"Day X in Ponyville, Wake up, Poop, shower, brush mane, wake up Spike, go downstairs, drink tea, and while I'm doing it, you always knock on the door."
  78. >Stare at her
  79. Holy shit I'm Fluttershy
  80. >"What- No! You're just annoying. Come on, Anon. We're friends, yes. But I need my space! Stop coming to my house every morning and accusing Fluttershy of rape!"
  81. But she was humping my face this morning!
  82. >"Oh yes, and I'm an Alicorn. Get out of my house."
  83. >You slump and slowly walk out
  84. >Great, so now Twilight won't even help you.
  85. >You walk through the streets of early morning Ponyville, kicking a rock along in front of you
  86. >You look up and are taken aback
  87. >Zecora is at a stall, buying some supplies
  88. >You've only ever met her once
  89. >She's pretty cool
  90. >Walk on over
  91. Hey there, Zecora. What's new?
  92. >She turns to you, raising an eyebrow
  93. >"My oh my, great hairless ape. What's this I hear about accusing rape?"
  94. Wait, what? How did you know about that?
  95. >"There is no need to look so tense, I merely abused my zebra sense!"
  96.  
  97. 3/?
  98.  
  99. Holy shit that's actually a thing?
  100. >"Why of course, my tallest friend! But do not tell Applejack, or I shall never hear the end..."
  101. Noted.
  102. >"So what's this about the rape, my dearest ape?"
  103. You just used 'rape' and 'ape' twice.
  104. >"If you do not stop acting so aloof, you shall feel the back of my hoof."
  105. Sorry.
  106. >She frowns at you
  107. Anyway, Fluttershy keeps trying to get into my pants. And I don't want that. So she's settled for forcing herself onto me every day. It's annoying as hell. Any hints?
  108. >She clears her throat
  109. >"Though a solution to your ills I cannot give, I can instead offer you a place for you to live."
  110. Seriously? You'll let me stay with you so Fluttershy can't touch me?
  111. >"From the correct course, you are not far. But what I offer is a most peculiar bar."
  112. ...A bar.
  113. >"Indeed I do, a bar I offer you."
  114. That was a needlessly complicated way to confirm what I said, Zecora.
  115. >She scowls
  116. >"The bar has appeared in times most recent, and its contents are far from decent."
  117. >You motion for her to continue
  118. >"It is a dark place of mysterious figures, who drink under the moonlight like a bunch of ni-"
  119. Woah mare. Keep it PG-13.
  120. >"...Though its denizens are foul, and those that cross them might die, you can find solace in the fact that they all hate Fluttershy."
  121.  
  122. 4/?
  123.  
  124. So what you're saying is, somewhere in the Everfree forest, there's a bar full of horrific creatures that all share the same amount of hatred for... Fluttershy
  125. >"This is most true, you."
  126. Huh. Where abouts in the Everfree is it?
  127. >"Where the plants are greenest, and the sky is ever blue, you do not find the bar. It finds you."
  128. >With that she pulls out an orb and throws it at the ground, cracking it and releasing a torrent white smoke
  129. >You try not to cough up a lung, and when it clears, you see Zecora running as fast as she can down an alley
  130. >Crazy zebra
  131. >Going about your day, the thought of this bar continues to infect your mind
  132. >"Uhh, Anon? You gonna buy something?"
  133. Huh? What?
  134. >You find yourself stood at the counter in Sugarcube Corner, Mr Cake giving you an odd look
  135. Oh, right, right, yes.
  136. >You give the pony some bits for a pastry and sit down to eat it
  137. >You chew absent-mindedly on the treat, enjoying the multitude of flavours it brings
  138. >Look out the window, looking towards the forest at the edge of town
  139. I wonder...
  140. >"Wonder what, Nonny?"
  141. >Turn your head towards the freakishly huge blue eyes peering at you
  142. >You actually measured them once
  143. >They're the size of your outstretched palm
  144. >It's not right
  145. >Her eyes creep out her skull and press onto yours
  146. >You're too scared and confused to move
  147. >You can see inside her eyes
  148. >Jesus fucking Christ
  149. >There are bicycles and trumpets in here
  150. >What the fuck, Ponko Pea
  151. >You tear your head away, your eyes peeling away from Pinkie's with a noise like pulling a wet t-shirt off skin
  152. >Pinkie grins at you
  153. >"So whatcha wonderin'?"
  154.  
  155. 5/?
  156.  
  157. Uhh. Nothing...
  158. >Can't let her know about the bar
  159. >Pinkie picks up a stack of paper stapled together
  160. >She flicks through it, her eyes darting across it in a typical skim-read fashion
  161. >"OOoooh, you're looking for the Everfree Bar?"
  162. >Wait what
  163. >Your eyes widen and your jaw drops open slightly
  164. How did you...?
  165. >She smiles and shows you the front of the stack of paper
  166. >"[SCRIPT]"
  167. Fucking really, Pinkie Pie?
  168. >"That's how I roll."
  169. >With that, she reveals that she was a paper cut-out with an image of Pinkie on it the whole time and drifts out a nearby window on a slight breeze
  170. >You watch her fly away on the wind, carefree and saying "WEEEE!"
  171. >Shake your head and finish your pastry
  172. >Walk out the door and onto the street
  173. >The sun is high in the sky
  174. >Summers in Equestria are ridiculously hot. The ponies don't mind, since they have short fur and don't wear clothes
  175. >You, on the other hand, wear clothes
  176. >Horrible, hot, heavy clothes.
  177. >You stroll through the streets, the sun beating down on you and beads of sweat forming all over your body
  178. >Fuck this
  179. >You pull off your shirt and let your bare skin soak in the sun
  180. >It's actually kind of nice without the burning hot fabric covering you
  181. >You smile, close your eyes, and hold your arms out slightly, basking in the warmth of the sun
  182. >Realise that there is suddenly no noise
  183. >Open your eyes and look around
  184. >Every single pony around is staring at you
  185. >The mares are letting their tongues roll out
  186. >A minty green one shouts at you
  187. >"TAKE IT ALL OFF! WOOOOO!"
  188. FUCK YOU, LYRA.
  189.  
  190. 6/?
  191.  
  192. >Storm back to your house, clutching your shirt and fuming as ponies holler and whoop
  193. >Some of them even throw bits your way
  194. >Fucking ponies
  195. >You don't need their charity
  196. >Throw open your front door and scrunch your face up as the hot air that has been trapped in your house all morning hits you
  197. >Growl and stomp upstairs to grab a dry shirt
  198. >Your room smells even worse than the rest of the house
  199. >Probably has something to do with the dried Flutterjuice on the floor
  200. >Disgusting
  201. >You walk over to the closet and reach in for a t-shirt
  202. >Pulling it out you sigh
  203. >It's too fucking hot outside
  204. >Can't go back into town
  205. >Ponies will throw money at you
  206. >Can't stay here
  207. >It's boring and smells of Fluttershy. Would probably remain smelly even if you opened all the windows
  208. >Seriously, her smell sticks. Like something died.
  209. >You walk back out the door and put on your t-shirt
  210. >Would rather pass out from heat than give those god damn ponies what they want
  211. >You look towards the Everfree forest
  212. >All that shade
  213. >Fuck it, why not. You've never actually gone in there.
  214. >With your mind made up, nothing to do, and a town full of horny horses as the only other option, you head off towards the forest
  215.  
  216. 7/?
  217.  
  218. >Ponies always said it was the scariest place in the world, but you never really saw it.
  219. >Looks like any forest back home, really. Just a bit darker
  220. >You stuff your hands in your pockets and take your time walking towards the forest's edge
  221. >A rustling in a nearby bush alerts you to the presence of a pair of teal eyes
  222. Oh go fuck-
  223. >Fluttershy lunges out of the bush and tackles you to the ground
  224. >You glare up at her
  225. >She quivers on your chest and drools all over your face
  226. >You try to speak
  227. >A bit of Flutterdribble gets in your mouth
  228. >Turn your head and spit
  229. >Look back and slap her across the face
  230. >She squeals
  231. Fuckin' horse...
  232. >Stand up and look down at the trembling wreck on the floor, the area between her legs soaking wet
  233. >Feel your t-shirt
  234. >It's like a soggy sponge
  235. Yeah, of course.
  236. >You tear it off and crumple it into a ball before hurling it away from you
  237. >Fluttershy flies after it
  238. >Shake your head and carry on walking to the forest
  239. >Not 5 steps later you get tackled yet again
  240. >Fluttershy is now stood on you, dripping onto your bare chest and your shirt stuffed in her mouth
  241. FUCKING HELL
  242. >"Mffffph mph mmmmm..."
  243. >Her dripping turns into a slight trickle
  244. >A puddle is forming on your stomach
  245. >Growl and grab her by her mane
  246. >Stand up and overarm throw her at a tree
  247. >She slams into it and slumps to the floor
  248.  
  249. 8/?
  250.  
  251. >You decide to get to the forest as soon as possible
  252. >Cursing everything you can, you make your way to the tree line
  253. Stupid fucking sun, stupid fucking heat, stupid fucking ponies, stupid fucking Flutters-
  254. >You get tackled.
  255. >Again.
  256. >Fluttershy buries her face, complete with soggy mouth-shirt into your chest
  257. ARE YOU ACTUALLY FUCKING BRAIN DAMAGED?!
  258. >She spits it out
  259. >At your face, which is close to turning purple with rage
  260. >"D-don't shout, mister..."
  261. >You try not to tear off your own facial skin in frustration
  262. >The soggy, smelly, sticky t-shirt sat on it isn't helping
  263. >You rip it off and sock Fluttershy straight the jaw
  264. >She's lifted off you from the impact and lands on her back
  265. >"Oooh yeah, baby... Hit me harder..."
  266. I didn't think it was physically possible for me to hate you so much.
  267. >"That's m-mean"
  268. I'm would normally tear out your spine and beat you with it, but I have shit to do. Now fuck off and let me explore the Everfree
  269. >Her head snaps up, and she looks at you fearfully
  270. >"T-the Everfree? You're going to the Everfree?"
  271. >Roll your eyes
  272. Yes, coward. I am. And you can't stop me
  273. >You turn your back to her and keep walking
  274. >She flies after you and starts tugging on your arm, pulling you back towards town
  275. >"N-no! It's dangerous in there!"
  276. Birds and small furry animals aren't dangerous, Fluttershy. Stop being a faggot.
  277. >"NO! You're c-coming back with me to my cottage..."
  278.  
  279. 9/?
  280.  
  281. I for one, choose death.
  282. >You jerk your arm out of her grasp and set off in a run towards the forest
  283. >Fluttershy flies in front of you, flying backwards and facing you while you carry on running
  284. >"No! I w-won't let you!"
  285. >She hovers while stationary in the air and holds out her hooves
  286. >You ram right into her and send her flying
  287. >Chuckle and keep on running
  288. >Sweet embrace of Mother Nature, here you come
  289. >"ANONYMOUS!"
  290. >Uh oh.
  291. >Look back
  292. >Fluttershy looks mad as hell
  293. >"IF YOU DON'T GET THE SUGARCANE BACK HERE, I'LL DRAG YOU BACK HERE MYSELF!"
  294. >Sugarcane
  295. >She's so cute
  296. Nah, I think I'll pass.
  297. >She screams and takes off towards you
  298. WOAHSHIT
  299. >Make like a tree and get the fuck out of there
  300. >Fluttershy chases you across the grass towards the Everfree, screaming all the while
  301. >Surprising how fast you can move when you're scared for your life
  302. >"YOU'RE GOING TO COME BACK WITH ME TO MY COTTAGE, AND YOU'RE GOING TO LIKE IT! AND THEN WE'RE GOING TO MAKE LOVE!"
  303. NIGGA YOU CRAZY!
  304. >"THIS IS A PG-13 STORY! PEE GEE THUR-TEEN!"
  305. FUCK THE FCC!
  306. >More screaming
  307.  
  308. 10/?
  309.  
  310. >You finally make it to the forest
  311. >It's even more wonderful than you imagined
  312. >The shadows of the thick canopies cover you, cooling your body and shielding your eyes from the glare of the sun above
  313. >Smile
  314. >This is wonderful
  315. >You sigh and slow down, taking in the lush undergrowth
  316. >You walk between the thick trunks and bask in the shadows of the Everfree
  317. I can see why Zecora prefers to live here...
  318. >A swarm of fireflies buzzes by
  319. >You watch them in silent wonderment
  320. >Fireflies, during the day.
  321. >This place is amazing
  322. >"YOU WILL LOVE ME!"
  323. >This place is a prison and you're the poor little white guy
  324. >You see Fluttershy hovering above the canopy
  325. >You duck down a ditch under a tree root and watch her through a hole in the tree-tops
  326. >She darts to and fro, looking for you
  327. >She must be too scared to follow you in
  328. >Gotta use this to your advantage
  329. >You creep through the bushes, watching the sky through the cracks in the leaves
  330. >Fluttershy occasionally makes an appearance, before screaming in frustration and flying over to another part of the forest
  331. >"ANON! GET OUT HERE NOW!"
  332. >Mutter under your breath
  333. Sure thing, psycho
  334. >You really have no idea why she, or any other pony, wants you so badly
  335. >You don't have this problem with Twilight or Rainbow Dash
  336.  
  337. 11/?
  338.  
  339. >You momentarily flashback to a certain moment a few weeks after you arrived in Ponyville
  340. >You kick open the door to the library, knocking spike aside and slamming the door behind you while mares lick the windows and ask you to spank them and call them bad fillies
  341. TWILIGHT! I REQUIRE MAGICAL ASSISTANCE!
  342. >Twilight stumbles out of her darkened room, her mane a complete mess
  343. >Rainbow Dash follows her, squinting her eyes at you from the bright light streaming in from the windows
  344. >She pats down her ruffled wings and wipes her mouth with a foreleg
  345. >"Waddya want, Anon? We're... Busy."
  346. HELP ME!
  347. >The two look at each other then look back at you
  348. >"Nah"
  349. >They walk back into Twilight's room and slam the door
  350. >At that moment, the glass windows give way and you're swarmed with horny mares, much to Spike's prepubescent joy
  351.  
  352. >Back in the forest, you are hidden in a bush, watching Fluttershy hover over a gap in the trees scanning the area
  353. >She looks in your direction and you lower your head slightly, the bush providing ample cover
  354. >She growls and drifts skywards again
  355. >You wait for a few minutes, counting the seconds until you're sure she's gone
  356. >It's been about 15 minutes since you entered the forest
  357. >You have no idea where you're going, but as long as you're in here and Fluttershy is up there, you're safe.
  358. >After sneaking around for 10 more minutes, you come to a large open clearing
  359. >You have no idea where in the forest you are, but you're enjoying yourself too much to care
  360. >Look at the skies
  361. >Nothing
  362. >Timidly walk out into the clearing, watching your back like some overly cautious woodland animal
  363. >You smile as a slight breeze rolls by, causing the ankle deep grass to sway and the trees to rustle
  364. >Giggle slightly
  365. >Start walking to the other side of the clearing, enjoying the heat of the sun contrasting with your cool skin from so long in the shadows
  366. >That is, until you hear a scream
  367. >"ANON! THERE YOU ARE!"
  368. Oh fuck.
  369.  
  370. 12/?
  371.  
  372. >Look up
  373. >Fluttershy is staring down at you, a malevolent grin on her face, and clear liquid running down her leg and hitting the grass in front of you
  374. >She flies towards you, hooves outstretched and the look of a serial rapist on her face
  375. >"YOU'RE MINE NOW!"
  376. >With the rape train itself hurtling towards you, you throw your head back and scream in defiance before she reaches you
  377. FUCKING FLUTTERSHY
  378. >You hear a loud crack, a boom like thunder, and smell a mixture of smoke and alcohol
  379. >Open your eyes
  380. What the actual fuck.
  381. >You're stood in a room, surrounded by other humans, who are sat around tables and talking to one another
  382. >The building is made of wood, a log cabin, to be exact
  383. >Light peeks in under thick blinds that cover the windows
  384. >A ceiling fan slowly rotates overhead
  385. >A group of people laugh in a corner and you hear the familiar sound of glasses clicking together
  386. >Are you... Back on Earth?
  387. >You spin around, trying to take in everything
  388. >Eventually, a person sat at the bar, nursing a shot glass turns to face you
  389. >He smiles
  390. >"You new?"
  391. >And then you realise something
  392. >Everyone looks identical
  393. >They are all copies of you.
  394. >Slowly walk over to the bar and sit down, staring slack jawed at everything around you
  395. Did I die? Is this hell?
  396. >The copy of you slaps you on the back
  397. >"Quite the opposite, Anon. If anything, this heaven."
  398. >You glance at him
  399. >He slides a shot of something strong smelling towards you
  400. >"Drink up and relax. You're safe here."
  401. Where uhh. Where IS here?
  402. >"Oh. Right. Welcome to the Everfree Bar, Anon."
  403.  
  404. 13/?
  405.  
  406. >Zecora was actually telling the truth
  407. >This place exists
  408. >A place filled with creatures that hate Fluttershy...
  409. >You feel a smile crossing your face
  410. I can't believe this... Zecora was right
  411. >"Oh, that's how you found out? Yeah, most of us spoke to Zecora. She's a weird one."
  412. I don't understand. What IS all this?
  413. >"It's a bar in the middle of the Everfree Forest inhabited by clones of you from parallel universes. What's not to understand?"
  414. Uhh. Everything.
  415. >He drains his glass
  416. >"Well don't worry, we've got time. Allow me to explain."
  417. >He gets off his stool, you follow him with your eyes
  418. >He takes a mock bow and motions to the rest of the bar
  419. >"This - Is the Everfree Bar. It sits on a peculiar rift between parallel worlds, it also seems that only you, or people who are rather close to you, can find it."
  420. >You raise an eyebrow
  421. >"It is a safe haven from that... Thing... Outside. You just so happened to shout the phrase that triggers it. And trust me when we say we've tried to figure it out, but we can't."
  422. What do you mean?
  423. >"Well, how exactly are you supposed to explain an interdimensional bar that only appears when you scream "Fucking Fluttershy"?"
  424. I suppose it would be pretty hard
  425. >"Yeah, it is."
  426. So uhh. How did you find it?
  427. >"I got chased here by Fluttershy. She was trying to see if bear rape was my fetish"
  428. Sounds gruesome.
  429. >"It was. I lost an arm"
  430. >You realise that his other arm is mechanical
  431. Woah, where the hell did you get that?
  432. >"Well in my world, Twilight is a genius beyond her years. Hell, you should see this other Anon. He comes from a world where she builds fully functional robot ponies capable of learning and love."
  433.  
  434. 14/?
  435.  
  436. So what exactly do you do here?
  437. >"Well, just hide out, really. Sooner or later, everyone finds the bar. And then they just need to pop on by and say "Fucking Fluttershy". The bar will appear and you can do whatever yo-"
  438. >At that moment a massive hulk of a man materialises in the middle of the room
  439. >He's wearing a full suit of armour and carrying a sword as long as you
  440. Holy shit.
  441. >"Oh, that's Anon. Hey, Anon."
  442. >He the hulk turns to you, eyes burning red from under his spiked helmet"
  443. >"H-hey"
  444. >He stomps over to a corner and sits down, resting his sword against the wall, and begins talking to some other Anons at the table
  445. Huh. What's his story?
  446. >"Overlord. Got stranded here. Sad, really. He's a great guy."
  447. >Anon sits back down and smiles
  448. >"So, what else do you want to know?"
  449. I... Do I need to pay for beer?
  450. >"Nah. All free. You can get utterly shitfaced and not have to pay a single bit. Pretty cool, right?"
  451. Hell yeah! So uhh, could I get a drink?
  452. >"Sure"
  453. >Anon motions over the bartender
  454. >A brown stallion
  455. Wait, how is there a pony here?
  456. >"Oh, a handful of ponies drop by here. Bluey here runs the place. But it's rare to get any ponies here, because really, how many times is a PONY going to scream "Fucking Fluttershy" in the middle of a forest?"
  457. Huh. I guess that makes sense.
  458. >"It makes total sense. Now shut up and lets get drunk"
  459. >Bluey pours you a drink and winks at you as he passes it
  460. >You watch him go and then nudge Anon
  461. The bartender just winked at me. Should I be afraid?
  462. >"Nah. Bluey's cool. He just wants to keep us as drunk as possible."
  463. How did he end up here?
  464. >"Lost his old job, worked on a cruise liner or some shit. Somehow ended up here, and with nowhere else to go, decided to maintain the bar."
  465.  
  466. 15/?
  467.  
  468. Quite a selfless act.
  469. >"Yup. He's like the opposite of Fluttershy."
  470. >He glares at his drink for a second when he says the name
  471. So how did Zecora find out about this place?
  472. >"No idea. No Anon here can get an explanation out of her. She just knows that it's here. Like Pinkie Pie."
  473. Pinkie Pie knows about this place?
  474. >"Honestly, Anon. How could she not?"
  475. True.
  476. >You both drink in silence
  477. >You start smiling much more as you sit there, thinking about this new sanctuary you've found
  478. >Eventually, the Anon next to you finishes his last drink, burps, and stands up, swaying slightly
  479. >"Welp, I gotta get back home. Lyra will be missing me."
  480. Lyra...?
  481. >"Aye. We're married."
  482. >He wipes his mouth
  483. >"Fuck this shit, I'm out."
  484. >And then he's gone
  485. >You stare at the place where he once was
  486. >Turn back to the bar
  487. >Call Bluey over
  488. Uhh, hi.
  489. >"Afternoon, Anon. What can I getcha?"
  490. Just a quick question, how do I get out of here?
  491. >"Oh, just say 'Fuck this shit, I'm out'"
  492. >Bluey vanishes
  493. >You blink
  494. >Then you hear a pop behind you
  495. >Bluey walks back around the bar and smiles at you
  496. >"See?"
  497. >He passes you another bottle of beer
  498. >Read the label
  499. >'Honeymess'
  500. >Raise an eyebrow
  501. >Bluey grins at you and goes to serve another Anon down the bar
  502.  
  503. 16/?
  504.  
  505. >You hop off your seat and look around the bar
  506. >See a group of Anons in the corner
  507. >Grip your bottle and walk over, clearing your throat when you get near
  508. >One of them looks up
  509. >"What the FUCK do you want?"
  510. >The Anon next to him frowns
  511. >"Don't be mean, Angry."
  512. >'Angry' glowers at the other Anon and goes back to drinking
  513. >The Anon in the middle gives you a neutral look
  514. >"Hey there. Take a seat."
  515. >You oblige and sit down
  516. >You look at the three
  517. >The one of the left is trying to hate his drink to death, the one in the middle has an utterly blank look on his face, and the one on the right is smiling at you
  518. >The smiling one extends his hand
  519. >"Hello, I'm Happynon. Or Happy, for short."
  520. >Shake his hand
  521. Uhh, hey. So what's your deal?
  522. >The middle Anon speaks up
  523. >"Well, when I got to Equestria, I got split into three."
  524. >He motions to Happynon
  525. >"This one, who is the physical embodiment of my happiness"
  526. >He jerks a thumb to 'Angry'
  527. >"And this grumpy fuck. He's Angrynon"
  528. >Angrynon grunts and sips his beer
  529. Doesn't seem like the most talkative of people.
  530. >"Why would he be? He's my anger in human form. Besides, he's in a bad mood today. Fluttershy stuck a dildo in his ass while he was passed out on a park bench"
  531. >You try not to laugh
  532. >Angrynon's head snaps up and he glares at you
  533. >"ONE FUCKING WORD, ANON. ONE SINGLE FUCKING WORD."
  534. Uhh, sorry...
  535. >"You will be."
  536. >He goes back to glaring at the table
  537.  
  538. 17/?
  539.  
  540. >Happynon speaks up
  541. >"So what brought you here, Anonymous?"
  542. Oh, got chased here by Fluttershy. Was about to be raped until this bar just appeared out of nowhere.
  543. >"Ahh. Just like most of the Anons here."
  544. >He rests his head on the shoulder of the middle Anon
  545. >Raise an eyebrow
  546. You two seem... Close.
  547. >The middle Anon answers a little bit too fast
  548. >"It's not gay if it's me."
  549. >You hold each other's gazes while Happynon giggles
  550. Uhh. I'm gonna go
  551. >Angrynon grunts again
  552. >"Good riddance"
  553. >Happynon answers in a dreamy voice
  554. >"Goodbye!"
  555. >Middlenon just bluntly says "Bye"
  556. >You stand up and look around for more tables to sit at
  557. >You see another Anon in a dark alcove of the bar, practically surrounded by shadows
  558. >You walk over and take a seat next to him
  559. >He offers a smile
  560. >"Hey"
  561. Hi.
  562. >Sit down
  563. >"So what's your story?"
  564. Chased here by Fluttershy, yours?
  565. >"Just happened by this place"
  566. >You chuckle, and ask jokingly:
  567. So uhh, what weird quirk have you got?
  568. >He looks straight at you
  569. >"I'm a Vampire"
  570. >You stare at him
  571. ...Seriously?
  572. >"Yup. That's why I'm sat in these here shadows."
  573. >You shuffle away from him slightly
  574. >"Heh, don't worry. I've already eaten"
  575.  
  576. 18/?
  577.  
  578. >A figure in the shadows, previously concealed, who you hadn't noticed, leans forwards
  579. >It's Twilight fucking Sparkle
  580. Twilight?!
  581. >She grins at you
  582. >"Did you enjoy your ti-"
  583. >A whiskey bottle smashes just above her head before she can finish
  584. >Bluey bellows at her from across the bar
  585. >"SHUT THE FUCK UP, TWILIGHT!"
  586. >Twilight sulks and leans back, folding her forelegs and making a "pffft" noise
  587. >"You guys aren't fun..."
  588. >You stare at her, and look back at Vampanon
  589. >He seems completely indifferent to the situation and drinks his glass of what you assume is blood
  590. >He answers your thoughts before you can open your mouth
  591. >"It's cranberry juice, Anon."
  592. Oh.
  593. >"Vampires like variety too. It just doesn't sustain me."
  594. I see...
  595. >You look back at Twilight, who is scribbling notes down on a piece of paper, various boxes and hastily written words connected by lines
  596. I'm uhh, I'm gonna go.
  597. >Vampanon nods
  598. >"Goodbye, and welcome to the bar."
  599. >Twilight smiles at you
  600. >"Good bye, Anon."
  601. >Her smile contorts into something much more sinister
  602. >"I'll be watching."
  603. >Vampanon sighs
  604. >"Fucking hell, Twilight. Just shut up."
  605. >She frowns and goes back to scribbling
  606.  
  607. 19/?
  608.  
  609. >Stand up and look around the bar
  610. >See a single Anon sat alone in the middle of the room, nursing a jet black ball
  611. >Walk over and take a seat across from him
  612. >He looks up at you, a frown on his face
  613. So. What's up with you?
  614. >"My love holds no power here, that's what."
  615. Your... Love?
  616. >He motions to the ball
  617. >You look at it
  618. >You swear you can hear voices echo throughout your head while you look at it
  619. >Anon "Hmmms" and strokes it
  620. >"See, in MY world, I'm a god."
  621. >That caught you off guard
  622. A god?
  623. >"Yes, a god. I tore the world asunder after they stole my love away from me."
  624. Even Celestia?
  625. >"Especially Celestia. I turned her heart into a black hole"
  626. Damn, nigga.
  627. >He reaches over and slaps you
  628. >"It's a PG-13 story, Anon."
  629. OH COME ON!
  630. >He smiles and pats his ball
  631. >"Thing is, even after I had annihilated the world and eradicated Ponykind, this bar still stands."
  632. >He frowns again
  633. >"I just can't do anything here. Not even read the minds of people around me. My love is most fearful of this place. I'm trying to tell her that there's nothing to worry about"
  634. Uh huh...
  635. >He shakes his head and sighs
  636. >"Ahh well. She's not listening. Guess I'd better head back. I'm thinking of recreating Ponykind, what do you think?"
  637. Sounds good, I guess. Just don't include Fluttershy
  638. >He grins
  639. >"Oh believe me, I won't. Fuck this shit, I'm out."
  640. >He blinks out of reality, leaving you alone at the table
  641.  
  642. 20/?
  643.  
  644. >You decide to stay seated, drinking your beer and enjoying the funny aftertaste it gives
  645. >You aren't sure if you like it or not
  646. >Some time passes and you listen in on various conversations around the room
  647. >Someone is planning world domination through science
  648. >Another is complaining about how Fluttershy trapped him and herself inside the tunnels beneath Canterlot
  649. >You smile as one recites the tale of how Fluttershy died in a storm
  650. >You look up
  651. >Another Anon takes a seat where the ball-anon was previously sat
  652. >He mutters a small hello
  653. Hi.
  654. >He tries to smile
  655. >Bluey drifts by and places a drink in front of him
  656. >"Hey there, Pyro. You be careful today, ya hear?"
  657. >He looks at you
  658. >"Enjoying your drink, Anon?"
  659. I'm not sure if I like the taste or not
  660. >He laughs
  661. >"That's what they all say. Call me if you need anything."
  662. >He continues walking around the bar, serving the other Anons
  663. >You turn back to the one he called "Pyro"
  664. So, what's with the name?
  665. >Pyro looks at you
  666. >Then at the table
  667. >And the coaster you're resting your bottle on catches fire
  668. OH SHIT
  669. >You pour beer on it and look back at pyro, a shocked expression on your face
  670. Did you do that?
  671. >He nods
  672. What the hell, man?
  673. >He smiles weakly
  674. >"It's hard to control..."
  675. >You mutter while you try and mop up the beer with a napkin
  676. I feel sorry for the residents of Ponyville
  677. >He sighs
  678. >"There's no more Ponyville where I'm from"
  679.  
  680. 21/?
  681.  
  682. >Look up at him
  683. >He's staring at his hands sadly, you see a few tears forming in his eyes
  684. Woah, hey. Don't cry, man. What happened?
  685. >"I... I just couldn't control it."
  686. >Give him a sympathetic look
  687. I'm sorry to hear that.
  688. >He glances up, a genuine smile on his face
  689. >"I-I'm getting better though! Now things only set on fire when I lose concentration!"
  690. That's great!
  691. >"Yup... And my girlfriend found a new job too, so that's cool"
  692. Girlfriend, eh? What kind of mare could put up with uhh, you? No offense.
  693. >He smiles wistfully
  694. >"Ditzy Doo. I love her so much"
  695. >Raise an eyebrow for the 50th time that day
  696. Derpy? Seriously?
  697. >He scowls at you
  698. >"Don't call her that."
  699. >Your coaster sets on fire again
  700. >You just watch it turn to ashes
  701. >Pyro sits back and starts fiddling with his hands again
  702. >"Umm... Sorry..."
  703. It's ok, I guess. I didn't know you didn't like that name.
  704. >Pyro picks up his own drink and starts chugging it down
  705. >You watch him down an entire bottle in a few gulps
  706. Damn, bro. Don't you want to at least savour it?
  707. >"I am savouring it. This stuff is delicious! Have you tried it?"
  708. >He shows you his bottle
  709. >"Honeymess Deluxe"
  710. >Oh boy
  711.  
  712. 22/?
  713.  
  714. >You talk with Pyro some more about his life with Ditzy in Manehatten
  715. >Sounds like they have a pretty good thing going
  716. >He works as fire-fighter, Ironically. And Derpy got a job at the local antiques store
  717. >You tried not to cringe when you heard that
  718. >As the afternoon wears on, he announces that he's leaving
  719. Wait! Before you go, you said you live in Manehatten?
  720. >"Yup."
  721. Soo, where is the bar located for you?
  722. >"Down a back alley behind a porn theatre. Don't ask me how I found out about it. I just said "Fucking Fluttershy" after she followed me and boom, I ended up here. Got scared and nearby burnt the place down"
  723. Huh. So it's in different places for different people…
  724. >"Apparently s-so. But most folks here find it in the Everfree. Anywho, fuck this shit, I'm out."
  725. >Poof
  726. >You go back to drinking
  727. >You're feeling pretty buzzed now, the honey drinks are starting to taste pretty good
  728. >You watch as an Anon pops into the middle of the bar and walks up to the counter
  729. >Bluey narrows his eyes at him for a second before sighing
  730. >He reaches under the bar
  731. >Pulls out a crossbow
  732. >And shoots Anon right in the chest
  733. >You stand up
  734. Holy shit! What the fuck, Bluey?!
  735. >You run over to the Anon, lying on the floor, his eyes lifeless due to the wooden bolt impaled in his heart
  736. >Bluey trots over to you
  737. >"Relax, Anon. It's a changeling."
  738. >Sure enough, 'Anon's' body morphs back into that of the familiar black insectoid pony
  739. >Green blood begins to mix with the red
  740. >Bluey picks it up and starts to drag the body towards a back room
  741. >He sees you staring, slack jawed
  742. >He grins
  743. >"Wanna help?"
  744. S-sure?
  745.  
  746. 23/?
  747.  
  748. >You help him carry the body into the back room
  749. >Bluey directs you to a large white freezer in the corner
  750. >"Just dump it in there"
  751. >You pick up the body and go over to it
  752. >Bluey stands on his hind legs and opens the freezer
  753. >You look inside
  754. >A swirling black vortex greets you
  755. >The howling of thousands of souls hits your ears
  756. >Bluey shouts over it
  757. >"IT'S THE BACKDOOR TO THE OTHER DIMENSIONS. WE USE IT TO SEND DEAD BODIES BACK TO THEIR OWN WORLDS. SOMETIMES CHANGELINGS STUMBLE IN HERE WHEN THEY SAY THE WRONG THING AT THE WRONG TIME WHEN TRYING TO IMPERSONATE ANON. GO AHEAD AND CHUCK THE BODY IN"
  758. >You do so, and the body practically gets torn from your arms, spiralling further and further into the vortex until you can't see it anymore
  759. >Bluey slams the freezer shut, and silence fills the backroom, save for the banter coming from the bar in the next room
  760. How did you know it was a changeling?
  761. >"It's eyes were weird. And it spoke with a slight hiss."
  762. >He clears his throat
  763. >"Though we once got an Anon who was actually part snake, ended up killing him by accident. Nasty state of affairs, that one."
  764. >He offers you another bottle
  765. >"Here. On the house"
  766. >He grins
  767. Very funny, Bluey.
  768. >He laughs and walks back out the room, his flanks swaying slightly and giving you a good look at his package from behind
  769. >Suddenly he's much more attractive
  770. >You blame the booze
  771. >Stumbling out the back room, you return to your chair
  772. >You sit in silent contemplation of the day’s events
  773. >Fluttershy chased you into the Everfree Forest, where you accidently found an interdimensional watering hole full of different versions of you from other worlds, Twilight Sparkle is here for some reason, as is a strangely alluring bartender, who keeps a soul-vortex in a fridge in the back room.
  774. >Fucking Life.
  775.  
  776. 24/?
  777.  
  778. >You pick yourself up and stagger on over to the bar
  779. >Bluey smiles at you
  780. >"Enjoy your first day?"
  781. Y-yeah... It was drunk.
  782. >He chuckles
  783. >"Well ok. You're welcome back here any time, Anon. You know what to say and where to go."
  784. >You blink, one eye at a time
  785. W-will I see you again?
  786. >"Well yeah. Don't forget, I'm here forever. This bar is outside time and space. I don't age."
  787. Sweet.
  788. >"Goodbye, Anon. Come back soon!"
  789. >You take a final swig of your beer, emptying the bottle
  790. >Slam it on the bar and wipe your mouth
  791. Fuck this shit, I'm out.
  792.  
  793. >You hear another crack and a boom
  794. >Wind rushes past you and your nostrils are invaded with cool night air
  795. >You look around the forest clearing, exactly where you were before
  796. >Start walking in the direction you came from
  797. >You used to walk down a short road back on Earth
  798. >Here you have to traverse an entire forest to get back to your house
  799. >Fucking Equestria
  800. >Miraculously, you actually reach the other side of the forest. Ponyville stretches out before you
  801. >Stumble down the country roads and through the middle of town, too drunk to care about the catcalls thrown your way by the few ponies milling around town at night
  802. >You reach your front door, your legs sore and eyes barely staying open
  803. >You fumble with your keys and unlock the door
  804. >Half fall over the threshold and into your home
  805. >Slam the door behind you
  806. >Lock it
  807. >Drag yourself upstairs
  808. >Open your bedroom door
  809. >Fluttershy is led on your bed, sleeping
  810.  
  811. 25/?
  812.  
  813. >Lurch over to her and pick her up
  814. >She wakes up in your arms
  815. >"Wha... Oh- OH! ANON! YOU'RE SAFE!"
  816. >She hugs you while you carry her over to the window
  817. >Hold her away from your chest with outstretched arms
  818. >She beams at you
  819. >You blink at her
  820. Stop breaking into my house
  821. >Throw her out the window
  822. >She hits the ground and doesn't move
  823. >You're too drunk to care
  824. >Shut the window
  825. >Go back over to your bed
  826. >Fall face first onto the plushy mattress
  827. >Man, what a day
  828. >Gotta go sleep fast
  829. >Whatever your slumber is like, one thing is for certain
  830. >You're gonna have one hell of a hangover tomorrow
  831. >Fucking Bluey
  832.  
  833. 26/26
  834. The End
/FLUTTERRAPE/

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