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[FLUTTERRAPE] Guardsman

By Nebulus
Created: 17th December 2020 06:29:46 PM

  1. Originally uploaded to Pastebin: February 12th, 2013
  2. ---
  3.  
  4. >Day Protection in Equestria
  5. >You are Anon
  6. >Travelling Ape extraordinaire
  7. >So here you are in Canterlot, visiting for the week
  8. >Being a human and all, it comes with special privileges
  9. >Most importantly, ponies don't throw rocks at you because you're endangered
  10. >Fuck yeah, government protection
  11. >And also you get to say what you want to whoever you want because after you took an Equestrian IQ test, you were declared mentally retarded
  12. >Fuck yeah, diplomatic immunity
  13. >You're not really retarded
  14. >Back home you were a normal person
  15. >Here though, since the IQ test was all about magic, which you know fuck all about, you are a retard
  16. >Woo hoo
  17. >Still, it's good to swagger around with your free money and have ponies be nice to you because "you're special"
  18. >Though the ponies that actually know you treat you normally, usually after you abuse your "retardation" to get special favours
  19. >Applejack was pissed after she found out you had tricked her out of a week’s worth of apples
  20. >She gave them to you for free because she thought you were a retard
  21. >Shortly after she found you discussing Earth politics and social stigmas that plague human society with Twilight
  22. >Needless to say, you found out that you were a born track runner that day
  23. >At least the apples were tasty
  24. >The reason you're in Canterlot is simple though
  25. >Fluttershy
  26. >As always
  27. >Really though, you should have seen this coming
  28. >It IS a Flutterrape story.
  29. >Come on, reader. Get it the fuck together.
  30. >God damn.
  31.  
  32. 1/?
  33.  
  34. >You walk through the busy streets of Canterlot, smiling at the upper-class ponies, who turn their noses up at you
  35. >One such pony turns his nose up so fast and so hard he broke his own neck
  36. >You laugh to yourself as his wife screams and calls for help
  37. >Reach a plaza, opting to sit next to a fountain and rest your legs
  38. >You sit down on the bench and close your eyes, your head hanging forward for a second
  39. >You open them again and look around
  40. >Ponies going to and fro, nothing out of the ordinary here
  41. >Looking up, you see the jewel of Canterlot towering over the city - Canterlot Castle
  42. >You should probably pay Celestia a visit
  43. >She asked for a friendship report after you said thank you to a scientist after he gave you a lollipop for "being a good boy"
  44. >That was 2 months ago
  45. >You'll just say that Spike was broken and that it got lost in the mail
  46. >Standing up and stretching, you begin your trek towards the castle gates
  47. >Luna wasn't so bad
  48. >Celestia on the other hand
  49. >Well, for a Princess, she has a weird way of conducting herself when not in public
  50. >Not sexually, mind. Just... Odd.
  51. >Staying in the Castle for the first 2 weeks of your life here in Equestria revealed a lot about the royal sisters
  52.  
  53. 2/?
  54.  
  55. >Turns out they like to get drunk a lot
  56. >And tell you secrets that you don't want to hear while you're trying to read
  57. >Honestly, your life would be so much better if you didn't know that Luna spent her 1000 years on the moon perfecting the noble art of self-satisfaction
  58. >Fuckin' royal horse
  59. >As the gates near, you go over what you're going to say to Celestia
  60. >You're close to her, but it doesn't make talking any easier
  61. >For your first friend in this world, she sure was distant
  62. >Then again, you weren't exactly making an effort to keep this friendship afloat
  63. >Two months without a letter
  64. >You hope she isn't too sore about it
  65. >After you get past the guards at the gate, you walk through the castle on your way to the throne room
  66. >A short while later you push open the doors to the throne room
  67. >Luna is sat where her sister is, reading the paper and sipping coffee
  68. Luna?
  69. >She looks up
  70. >"Ah. Greetings, Anonymous. What brings you here?"
  71. Uhh. Not much, really. Just wanted to see if Celestia is about
  72. >Luna pouts
  73. >"Why don't you want to see if I'M about?"
  74. ...Are you about?
  75. >She picks up her paper again and goes back to reading
  76. >"No. I'm busy."
  77. >You stand there in silence for a while, awkwardly fiddling with your hands and looking around the room
  78. >Stone-faced guards look back
  79.  
  80. 3/?
  81.  
  82. Luna?
  83. >"Yes?"
  84. Could you please tell me where Celestia is?
  85. >"Kitchen"
  86. Thanks.
  87. >You walk out the room and down the steps towards the kitchen
  88. >Before you reach the doors leading into it, you hear raised voices
  89. >"PRINCESS FOR FUCKS SAKE, STOP EATING THE CAKE!"
  90. >"BUT I NEED IT!"
  91. >You run through the doors and see Celestia, being restrained by the entire kitchen staff. All 20 of them.
  92. >Celestia is straining and grunting to try and get towards a giant half-eaten cake
  93. >The head chef, a pony with one eye and a fake parrot sellotaped to his shoulder, is waving a spatula at her, shaking it violently at her whenever she lurches forward
  94. >"BACK! BACK YE GLUTTONOUS FIEND! THIS CAKE IS FER THE ZEBRA AMBASSADOR! GET YE FILTHY HOOVES OFF IT!"
  95. >He waves the spatula at Celestia again
  96. >Her face reacts to it the same way a negative magnet reacts to another
  97. >Pushed away by an invisible force while she says "NYEEEUUUGH"
  98. >Her horn shines golden
  99. >"SHE'S TRYIN TO USE MAGIC! STOP HER!"
  100. >6 kitchen hands latch onto her horn and start smearing jam all over it
  101. >The chef sighs in relief
  102. >"That were a close one"
  103. >He turns to you
  104. >Your jaw is slack and you're drooling at the spectacle
  105. >The chef, completely indifferent to your reaction, or the spectacle behind him, speaks up
  106. >"Jam, laddie. Acts as a natural magic nullifier. Now what can I do fer ye?"
  107.  
  108. 4/?
  109.  
  110. I... I wanted to...
  111. >You stop speaking to watch as Celestia thrashes around, sending 2 chefs flying into a pile of dirty pans
  112. >The recover, shake themselves off, and jump back on top of her
  113. >The head-chef moves into your view, an impatient look on his face
  114. >"Yes? What? Look, lad. I'm sure ye business is important, but I have very delicate matters to attend to here"
  115. >He turns around
  116. >"MORE JAM! MAKE THAT PRINCESS SLIMIER THAN MY EX-WIFES CUNT!"
  117. >He looks back at you
  118. >"So what is it?"
  119. I n-need to speak to Celestia.
  120. >"Oh good, she was becoming a handful"
  121. >He trots over to her
  122. >"A visitor, your majesty"
  123. >"NYYEEEUUUGH"
  124. >"It's the human"
  125. >A brilliant flash of gold, several screams, and a loud bang happen all at once
  126. >Celestia is stoof amongst the remains of the kitchen staff, who are dazed and groaning all around her
  127. >The head chef is unconscious with his spatula up his butt
  128. >Blink
  129. >Celestia smiles at you, levitates a slice of cake to her lips and walks past you
  130. >"Good afternoon, Anonymous! Come! Let us talk."
  131.  
  132. 5/?
  133.  
  134. >You stagger after the princess
  135. >She swaggers down a long hallway, humming a tune and nibbling the cake
  136. >You watch as she just magics away all the mess from her body. The jam. The icing. The sweat and blood of the chefs.
  137. But... I thought Jam-
  138. >"Doesn't work on Alicorns. The head chef is yet to learn that."
  139. I uhh. I don't think I've met him before. He's certainly... Different. Who is he?
  140. >"Hans Gruber. He's new."
  141. Hans G-
  142. >"So."
  143. >She stuffs the entire slice of cake in her mouth and swallows. Not even bothering to chew
  144. >Like an exotic bird.
  145. >"What brings you here?"
  146. I just wanted to visit. Seems like I came at a bad time...
  147. >"No! Not at all! I only have a few things to attend to today. And Luna's insomnia has given me a bit of free time"
  148. >She starts excitedly jumping on the spot
  149. >"Ooh! I haven't had time off in 450 years!"
  150. >She turns to you
  151. >"So. What do you want to do first?"
  152. I dunno. What does an immortal sun god do for fun?
  153. >Cue the montage.
  154.  
  155. 6/?
  156.  
  157. >You ride Celestia as she glides over Canterlot, both of you throwing money and dead birds at poor people
  158. >A bird hits an orphan in the face and he falls backwards into a mud puddle
  159. >You cannot contain your sides and Celestia struggles to keep steady in flight, resulting in both of you crash-landing in a hospital
  160.  
  161. >Celestia snickers and you are red in the face from trying to hold in your anticipation
  162. >Luna slowly enters the room, looking around nervously
  163. >You and Celestia are invisible, courtesy of Sunbutt
  164. >Luna creeps over to her secret box under her bed
  165. >She looks over her shoulder one last time before opening it
  166. >She takes out her diary
  167. >At that moment, Celestia runs up behind her, ramming her entire horn inside Luna's vagina
  168. >She screams in pain and surprised pleasure as you steal the book
  169. >You both run out the room screaming with laughter as Luna chases you, shouting at full volume and sending deadly magic projectiles after you
  170.  
  171. >Celestia and you sit on the ceiling, reading Luna's diary
  172. >Gravity was turned off
  173. >Chairs and tables float around
  174. >"Dear diary, my heart longs for Twilight Sparkle, she's everything I ever dreamed of in a mare, I only wish she would become the stars to my night sky!"
  175. >You wipe tears from your eyes and clutch your now sore stomach
  176. >Celestia loses control of the spell and you both go falling to the floor
  177.  
  178. GOOOOAL!
  179. >Celestia cheers and marks down another point to you
  180. >She then takes her turn with the sun cannon
  181. Down there! Down there! That snooty looking one in the white top hat!
  182. >Celestia points the giant magnifying glass at him
  183. >Within seconds the pony goes up in flames and runs around screaming before jumping into the moat
  184.  
  185. >You both charge into the kitchen, wearing tin-foil armour and waving rolling pins
  186. >Celestia is wielding 10 at a time with her magic
  187. >Hans Gruber screams
  188. >"OH GOD SHE'S BACK! AND SHE HAS AN UNDERLING!"
  189. WE HAVE COME FOR YOUR CAKE, INFIDEL!
  190. >"I KNEW YOU COULDN'T BE TRUSTED, MONKEY!"
  191. >You and Celestia laugh over the carnage and screaming as you chase the kitchen staff around the room with rolling pins
  192.  
  193. 7/?
  194.  
  195. >You roar with laughter on the grass as Celestia finishes drawing a huge dick on Discord's statue
  196. >You paint a bra and panties on him in pink paint
  197. >While you both laugh you swear you can hear a faint growling coming from the stone
  198.  
  199. >"Shhh!"
  200. >You clamp a hand over your mouth
  201. >Luna enters the room, a spear levitating near her
  202. >"I KNOW YOU'RE BOTH IN HERE! COME OUT AND I WON'T HURT YOU!"
  203. >Celestia hisses "Now!" at you
  204. >You pull the rope and a suspended log held up slams into Luna's side
  205. >She screams as she is launched out of a stained glass window and down the mountain
  206. >"I HATE YOU BOOOOOOOooooooth..."
  207. >Your sides transcended
  208.  
  209. Dear Twolot Spackel
  210. >Celestia snickers
  211. I hope your studies of hydroelectricity are going well, and I expect a full report tomorrow! Yours, Celestia
  212. >You both cry laughing while you watch in a crystal ball as Twilight screams for 15 whole minutes after receiving the letter
  213. >Spike looks disgruntled
  214.  
  215. >You look through a telescope and watch as Celestia fires a concentrated beam of pure heat at a distant mountain near the southern barrens
  216. >She puts the finishing touches to her work
  217. >The mountain now bares a message
  218. >"Chrysalis is a faget"
  219. >You both listen carefully and hear a distant roar on the wind
  220. >Hi-fives/hooves are had
  221.  
  222. 8/?
  223.  
  224. >The giant vault door groans
  225. >Eventually Celestia's laser cuts through the magic barriers and tempered steel
  226. >A hoard of cakes and pies lie before you, seemingly going on forever
  227. >Celestia starts crying
  228. >You hold her and try to fight back the tears at the sheer beauty of the scene before you
  229.  
  230. >A gentle breeze rolls across the grassy knoll
  231. >Celestia rests her head on your shoulder as you both watch the sun sink behind the horizon
  232. >"This was fun, Anonymous. Thanks"
  233. >You put an arm around her and squeeze
  234. No problem, Tia.
  235.  
  236. 9/?
  237.  
  238. >Day Friendship in Equestria
  239. >You wake up and rub your eyes
  240. Ohh goood, what did I do last night?
  241. >You look over and see the mountain of empty Moon Pie wrappers
  242. Awesome.
  243. >Celestia stirs next to you
  244. >"Ohh mother... What did I do last night?"
  245. >She looks over and sees the mountain of empty Sun Bun wrappers
  246. >"Awesome"
  247. Mornin' Tia.
  248. >She looks at you
  249. >"Nnfff"
  250. That wasn't a word, Tia
  251. >"I don't wanna get up"
  252. You have a planet to run. Don't be lazy
  253. >You slap her on the ass, causing her to yelp
  254. >"You don't get to slap royalty, Anonymous. You're not that friendly with us"
  255. Tell it to someone who cares, oh "Queen of Laughs"
  256. >She hurls a pillow at you at the sound of the nickname she gave herself during yesterday's sugar and happiness induced clusterfuck
  257. >You dodge it and stick out your tongue
  258. Mind if I use your bathroom?
  259. >"Sure. Go ahead"
  260. >You walk into the cavernous bathroom and look at yourself in the mirror
  261. >There's Moon Pie in your hair
  262. >You grumble and go to the shower
  263. >One hot blast of water and a hell of a lot of orange scented shampoo later, you emerge and dry yourself off
  264. >You reach for a toothbrush
  265. >Celestia calls from the other room
  266. >"Anonymous?"
  267. Yeah?
  268. >"I forgot to tell you, don't use the red toothbrush. I use it for uhh. Scientific Experiments with Rats."
  269. Masturbation, got it
  270. >"Go to tartarus, Ape."
  271.  
  272. 10/?
  273.  
  274. >You chuckle and use the blue toothbrush
  275. >All cleaned up, you walk back into Celestia's room
  276. >She's sipping coffee
  277. >"All better?"
  278. All better. I'm gonna head off now. This was great, though.
  279. >She smiles
  280. >"It was. It's good to see you again, Anonymous. You're the first being I've spent time off with in 450 years. Most of the time I just get drunk with Luna inside the castle walls during the last 2 hours of the day..."
  281. Well I'm glad you enjoyed it, Tia. I'll see you soon?
  282. >"Sounds good. Goodbye!"
  283. >You say a final goodbye and head out the door, walking through the winding halls and thinking about your time with Celestia
  284. >You see the doors leading out of the castle
  285. >But before you can reach them, you hear a shout
  286. >"STOP! THEIF! HE HAS THE ROYAL JEWELS!"
  287. >You snap your head around and look down a corridor where the shout originated
  288. >A pony dressed in black in galloping down the hall, a bag in his mouth
  289. >A few Royal Guards follow him
  290. >You look around
  291. >Then back at the mob heading towards you
  292. >You shrug
  293. >And extend your foot slightly
  294. >The thief trips over it and slams to the ground, the bag of jewels going everywhere
  295. >The guards all body slam him, eliciting a distressed groan
  296. >You stuff your hands in your pockets and watch with an amused look as the guards pummel the thief
  297. >Eventually he stops moving, and a guard drags him off, the others following him
  298. >All but one
  299. >The guard in the most ostentatious armour stays behind, removing his helmet and staring at you in awe
  300. >Raise an eyebrow
  301. >"Son, that was incredible, the way you took that thief down and foiled his efforts."
  302.  
  303. 11/?
  304.  
  305. >He clears his throat and extends a hoof towards you
  306. >You take it and shake it slightly
  307. >"I am Steel Rain. Captain of the Canterlot Royal Guard in absence of his majesty Prince Shining Armour."
  308. Cool.
  309. >"Very cool. Son, I think you've got what it takes to be a Royal Guard."
  310. >You stroke your stubble and muse to yourself
  311. Royal guard, eh?
  312. >"Yes."
  313. Is the pay good?
  314. >"Nope."
  315. Hours acceptable?
  316. >"Not even close."
  317. Do I get any special privileges?
  318. >"Don't make me laugh"
  319. Do I get a pension?
  320. >"The hell is a pension?"
  321. Can I learn how to wield a weapon?
  322. >"Any fighting methods we can teach you will be useless since you aren't even a pony"
  323. Is there any reason whatsoever why I should join the guard?
  324. >"You get to wear golden armour and carry around a spear"
  325. I'LL DO IT!
  326. >"WELCOME ABOARD, SON!"
  327. >You are Anonymous
  328. >Royal Guard
  329.  
  330. 12/?
  331.  
  332. >You are Anonymous
  333. >Bored as fuck
  334. >You were assigned to the Celestial Guard, given your lack of scary features required for the Nocturnal Guard
  335. >You tried, really.
  336. >You even waggled your fingers and went "OOoOOoOOOoOOO"
  337. >Half the ponies in the room suffered heart attacks, and the others pissed themselves
  338. >But much to your dismay, they simply couldn't sign you up for it because you don't have bat wings.
  339. >But they gave you a lollipop for effort
  340. >And also because you're still medically retarded
  341. >You stand outside the throne room doors
  342. >Alone
  343. >All the other guards are on break and you have no one to talk to
  344. >Not that you can talk to them
  345. >You're supposed to stay quiet and march up and down all day
  346. >Some job this is
  347. >They didn't even teach you how to use your pointy stick
  348. >That's just sad.
  349. >Though it seems easy enough
  350. >You watched 300 like, twice. So you just need to emulate that somehow.
  351. >You drift off and start fantasising about fending off armies off changelings by yourself in slowmo and deflecting spells with your rock hard abs
  352. >Shake your head at the sound of a commanding officer shouting at you
  353. >"ATTENTION!"
  354. YES!
  355. >"No, Anon, just stay quiet and salute"
  356. Oh yeah, sorry.
  357. >He shakes his head sadly
  358. >You salute and give him your best stone-face
  359. >"YOU HAVE A NEW PARTNER!"
  360. SIR! WHO, SIR!
  361. >He motions to the new guard stood next to him
  362. >Fluttershy.
  363. >In Royal Guard armour
  364. Oh fucking hell no.
  365.  
  366. 13/?
  367.  
  368. >Fluttershy smiles meekly at you
  369. What- WHAT? WHY.
  370. >You drop to your knees and look Fluttershy in the eye from her level
  371. WHHHYYYYYY
  372. >"Umm... Hello to you too?"
  373. >She tries to hide behind her mane but her helmet covers it, so she just ends up turning her head to the side and looking at you with one eye
  374. >Like a curious pigeon
  375. >The commanding officer screams some more, causing you and Flutterguard to jump
  376. >"STAND UP, SOLDIER."
  377. >You do so immediately
  378. >"FLUTTERSHY HERE IS YOUR NEW PARTNER. SHE WILL BE ASSIGNED TO YOU WITH EVERYTHING YOU DO"
  379. But why? What has she POSSIBLY got to offer the guard?
  380. >"She's saved Equestria twice, is an element of harmony, can wrestle bears, has an IQ of 160 and her father was a Cloudsdale Legionnaire"
  381. >Oh
  382. Oh.
  383. >"Indeed. NOW GET TO YOUR POSTS!"
  384. >You take your position again, eyes staring straight ahead
  385. >Maybe if you ignore her, she'll go aw-
  386. >She's rubbing your dick
  387. >Slap her away
  388. >She squeaks and scuttles back to her post
  389. >2 meters away
  390. >Glare at the hallway, determined to ignore her
  391. >Beefeater mode: Activate
  392. >You'll do the queen proud with how little fucks you give about everything around you
  393. >Fluttershy speaks up, breaking the silence
  394. >"S-so umm. Were you surprised?"
  395. >Don't answer her, Anon. Her sight is based on sound.
  396. >"I was surprised to see you..."
  397. >Nope.
  398. >"Umm... W-want to know why I'm here?"
  399.  
  400. 14/?
  401.  
  402. >You ain't sayin' shit.
  403. >"W-well when you went on your trip, you said that you'd be back soon... Y-you were gone 2 months... I got worried"
  404. >Oh yeah.
  405. >Probably should have mentioned that your extremely basic training took 2 months to complete
  406. >But... Why is Fluttershy here now? You didn't see her during the training
  407. >NO! Can't ask her. Will break silence
  408. >"So are guards your f-"
  409. Don't.
  410. >She shuts up
  411. Just don't.
  412. >She looks at the floor sadly
  413. >"I thought maybe you wanted some company..."
  414. I've made friends with the guards. I don't need you.
  415. >Oh great. Here come the tears
  416. >"D-d-don't n-need me?"
  417. >She starts openly weeping
  418. >Just then the throne room doors open and out walks Celestia, sipping some orange juice out of a carton that's being levitated in a golden aura
  419. >She looks at Fluttershy and then at you
  420. >You stare at Celestia
  421. >Fluttershy continues to sob
  422. >You and Celestia stare at Fluttershy
  423. >Celestia and Fluttershy stare at you
  424. >You and Fluttershy stare at Celestia
  425. >Celestia stares at both of you at the same time
  426. >What
  427. >"Anonymous, why is Fluttershy here? And why is she dressed as a Royal Guard? And why is she crying?"
  428. I have absolutely no idea, Princess.
  429. >"...Huh"
  430. >Celestia prods Fluttershy's head
  431. >This invokes a squeal and a noise like a dog's chew-toy squeaking
  432. >"Weird."
  433. >She sips her OJ again
  434. >"Well then! You two have fun!"
  435.  
  436. 15/?
  437.  
  438. >You watch Celestia go
  439. >Fluttershy wipes her eyes and smiles at you
  440. >"S-so is crying your fetish?"
  441. No.
  442. >"Oh... Are guard uniforms your fetish?"
  443. No.
  444. >"What about standing around for hours on end?"
  445. Nah.
  446. >"Okay..."
  447. >You stand in silence for a while longer
  448.  
  449. >And by a while you mean hours
  450. >Fucking. Hours.
  451.  
  452. >Fluttershy yawns
  453. >You do the same
  454. God damn this is boring
  455. >"W-why did you even want to do this?"
  456. I can't remember.
  457. >"It seems silly..."
  458. Yeah, I guess it is.
  459. >More silence
  460. >Steel Rain walks around a corner and looks at you two
  461. >He blinks
  462. >"Private Anonymous?"
  463. Sir?
  464. >"Why the hell is Fluttershy stood next to you?"
  465. Uh, she's a Royal Guard, sir. I think.
  466. >"I don't recall seeing her in basic training."
  467. Me neither, sir. She just showed up and some commanding officer said that she checks out.
  468. >"...Anonymous?"
  469. Sir?
  470. >"What did this commanding officer look like?"
  471. >You think back
  472.  
  473. 16/?
  474.  
  475. >You are Anonymous
  476. >Bored as fuck
  477. >You drift off and start fantasising about fending off armies off changelings by yourself in slowmo and deflecting spells with your rock hard abs
  478. >Shake your head at the sound of a commanding officer shouting at you
  479. >"ATTENTION!"
  480. YES!
  481. >"No, Anon, just stay quiet and salute"
  482. Oh yeah, sorry.
  483. >He shakes his head sadly
  484. >He is a white unicorn in typical golden guard armour, but absolutely covered in gems.
  485. >He also has a large black moustache on
  486. >Looks a bit lop-sided, though.
  487. >Hm.
  488.  
  489. >Back to the present
  490. >Describe the pony to Steel Rain
  491. >"Anonymous, did it ever occur to you that it might have been the Element of Generosity, who is staying at the Castle for the week?"
  492. I... Didn't know, sir. Sorry.
  493. >"Anonymous, were you just fooled into letting Fluttershy impersonate a Royal Guard all day by a mare wearing a fake moustache?"
  494. ...I think I was, sir.
  495. >He stares at you
  496. >Glance over at Fluttershy
  497. >She's trying to sneak away
  498. >Steel Rain glares at her
  499. >"YOU ARE UNDER ARREST FOR IMPERSONATING A ROYAL GUARDSMAN!"
  500. >She screams and takes flight
  501. >"ANONYMOUS! TIME TO PUT THAT TRAINING TO USE!"
  502. YOU NEVER TRAINED ME SIR! I SPENT 2 MONTHS PLAYING WITH COLOURING BOOKS AND CRAYONS!
  503. >"SON OF A BITCH, ANON. JUST THROW THE FUCKING SPEAR AT HER!"
  504. >You grip the end of the long wooden sick and throw it at Fluttershy
  505. >Not in the fashion of a javelin. No, the same way you would throw a stick for a dog
  506. >The pole slams into Fluttershy and brings her crashing to the floor
  507.  
  508. 17/?
  509.  
  510. >You and Steel Rain do the traditional Royal Canterlot Body Slam
  511. >Both of you jump on Fluttershy and crush her
  512. >She orgasms underneath you
  513. >Steel Rain, led on top of you, shouts in your ear
  514. >"SHE'S DEPLOYING LUBRICANTS! RESTRAIN HER!"
  515. >You punch her in the back of the head
  516. >"That might have been a bit much, Private."
  517. Sorry, sir. Heat of the moment thing.
  518. >"I understand"
  519. >You both get off her and look down at the dazed mare in guard's armour, groaning and soaked in her own juices
  520. >"How can we ensure this never happens again, Anon?"
  521. I think I have an idea, sir.
  522.  
  523. >12 minutes later you kick open the doors of the barracks, a still dazed Fluttershy slung over your shoulder
  524. >The soldiers are all astonished at your entrance
  525. Evenin', lads. You all like mares?
  526. >They all nod
  527. >One of them shakes his head
  528. You all like mares in uniform?
  529. >They all nod
  530. >One of them shakes his head again
  531. >Another slaps him, and he starts nodding with the others
  532. Well good news!
  533. >Throw Fluttershy into the middle of the room
  534. >She smells like sex
  535. Have fun!
  536. >You close the doors to the barracks as the soldiers cheer
  537. >Steel Rain congratulates you
  538. >"Excellently handled, Anon! I'm promoting you to staff seargant!"
  539. What does that mean?
  540. >"You get to scream at people and sit in a comfy office all day!"
  541. FUCK YEAH!
  542.  
  543. 18/?
  544.  
  545. >You run up the stairs to Celestia's room
  546. >Kicking open the doors again, you see her about to climb into bed
  547. >She screams as the doors fly open
  548. >"Anonymous! What are you doing?!"
  549. You.
  550.  
  551. >And so you did.
  552. >And it was amazing.
  553.  
  554. 19/19
  555. The End
/FLUTTERRAPE/

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