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[FLUTTERRAPE] Anarchy

By Nebulus
Created: 2020-12-17 21:31:33
Updated: 2021-07-03 12:57:10
Expiry: Never
anonlyraocnsfwcomedy/flutterrape/mane 6

  1. Originally uploaded to Pastebin: March 8th, 2013
  2. ---
  3.  
  4. >Day Anarchy in Equestria
  5. >You are Anon
  6. >Freedom Fighter
  7. >It's midnight, and you sprint down the streets of Canterlot, panting and looking over your shoulder, checking for anyone who might have followed
  8. >Reach an old black door, it's paint is peeling in places
  9. >Knock 3 times, then twice more after 5 seconds
  10. >The sound of bolts being pulled back and locks being undone can be heard from the other side
  11. >The door creaks open
  12. >You slip inside and shut it behind you, doing up all the locks and sighing
  13. >It was a close call out there, you were sure that someone would have caught you
  14. >Walk down a winding corridor until you reach a dark room, lit by a single candle in the middle of a table
  15. >A few figures are sat around it
  16. >Take a seat and rest your hands on the table
  17. >"Anonymous... I see that you've returned."
  18. Yes, Mistress. The deed is done.
  19. >"Good... Good... We're one step closer to bringing this whole fucking system crashing down on itself."
  20. >You grin
  21. >Mistress was always the toughest one. It was her vision that brought together the best and brightest minds in the land to topple the Celestial Diarchy.
  22. >She leans forwards and smiles at you, her face lit up by the candlelight
  23. >"Now, it's time that we started the next phase of our plan."
  24. >The other figures shift nervously, but not you, you stay leant forwards, your eyes fixated on the leader
  25. >"Brothers, sisters. We're going to attach a dick to the statue of Celestia in the middle of town."
  26. >You should have mentioned something
  27. >Your comrades, as well as the mistress, are all morons.
  28.  
  29. Lyra, are you fucking serious.
  30. >"Well yeah!"
  31. >Lyra scrunches up her face and glares at you
  32. >"Have you got a better idea, monkey man?"
  33. I dunno. Cut the head off it? Put up posters inciting rebellion amongst the citizens? Assassinate a key political figure?
  34. >Lyra seems shocked
  35. >"Anon!"
  36. >She glares at you even harder
  37. >"That's a stupid idea."
  38. You're an idiot.
  39. >"Don't call me and idiot! ...Call me Mistress"
  40. No. That's just as dumb as the shit I just got back from doing
  41. >She grins
  42. >"How did it go anyway?"
  43. >You sigh
  44. It went fine. Not like I was doing anything that terrible.
  45. >Lyra frowns
  46. >"Defacing public property with propaganda to rile up the denizens of Canterlot is very terrible! It's the most terrible thing ever!"
  47. I spray painted "Celestia's a butt" on a shop window
  48. >She cackles maniacally
  49. >"YES! THAT'LL SHOW HER!"
  50. Show her WHAT?
  51. >"That she's a butt!"
  52. >Lyra sits back and folds her forelegs, looking smug
  53. >You give her a deadpan look
  54. >Another 'council' member leans forward, Iron Flank.
  55. >He's a old stallion. The oldest of the group by far. A dark brown coat and a grey mane, his beard neatly trimmed to a point.
  56. >An old war veteran of the Pony/Griffon wars of days past
  57. >His scars many, his experiences numberless, his knowledge unmatched
  58. >He's an integral part of the group
  59. >"Nya ghuduh fihn bider"
  60. >He's also completely mad.
  61. Someone please translate what he just said.
  62. >Another pony leans forward, a stallion with glasses and a nervous disposition. Called Neville.
  63. >"He thed that we have to think bigger."
  64. >And also a massive lithp.
  65. >Oh fuck now I'm doing it.
  66. >You raise an eyebrow
  67. How so?
  68. >"Nyeahda bluurp caasuh."
  69. >"He thed we need to blow up the Cathel"
  70. >Grin
  71. See? Now we're talking. How are we gonna do that, Iron Flank?
  72. >"Ghudduh brahnwuuu rinhehh."
  73. What.
  74. >"He says we've got to brainwash the Princess"
  75. What will that accomplish
  76. >"Huhh flaah"
  77. What.
  78. >"Hot flank"
  79. Oh. Well what will hot flank accomplish?
  80. >"Huuh huh huhh..."
  81. >Iron Flank starts slowly laughing, then goes quiet, falls asleep, and begins drooling on the table
  82. >Lyra, who was sat watching this whole time, sighs
  83. >"Look, brothers and sisters. Let’s just decide on a plan already. I'm getting hungry."
  84. Okay, since Iron Flank is uhh-
  85. >Look at the old stallion
  86. >A puddle has formed around his head, which is resting on the table
  87. -Occupied in thought. I think I have a decent plan
  88. >The ponies lean forward
  89. It's simple really
  90. >Smile
  91. We kill Celestia.
  92. >All the ponies around the table begin to mutter
  93. >A female pony, who had remained silent until now, leans forward into the candlelight and speaks
  94. >"But how? And when? There are so many things to plan in an assassination!"
  95. Not to worry, I've got it all planned out.
  96. >"Anon, I'm sure it's a great plan, but this is Princess Celestia! She's been around for thousands of years! I don't think we'll be the first to try and make an attempt on her life."
  97. >Fuck. You hadn't thought of that.
  98. >She continues
  99. >"Not to mention Alicorns get harder to kill the older they get. And Celestia is the oldest of all the Alicorns."
  100. >Rub your chin thoughtfully
  101. Magic won't work?
  102. >"Nope. We'd need another Alicorn to do it. And I don't think Luna will be willing to kill her own sister after what happened last time."
  103. Weapons?
  104. >"Alicorn skin gets harder over time, some say it gets harder than a dragon's scales"
  105. >You run a hand through your hair and whistle
  106. Ok, maybe this wasn't the best plan.
  107. >She smiles
  108. >"It was a fine plan, Anon. One that we've all thought of though. We just need to think... Smaller."
  109. I guess you're right. Good thinking, Quen.
  110. >Lyra speaks up again
  111. >"Ok, I've had a thought, what if we-"
  112. >Just then a stallion dressed in black bursts through the door, panting heavily
  113. >"MISTRESS! YOU'LL NEVER GUESS WHAT JUST HAPPENED!"
  114. >Lyra is shocked
  115. >"What, WHAT?!"
  116. >"IT'S TWILIGHT SPARKLE."
  117. >He gulps
  118. >"SHE JUST BECAME AN ALICORN."
  119. >Everyone in the room stares, dumbfounded at the stallion
  120. >Neville speaks slowly
  121. >"W-what did you jutht thay?"
  122. >The stallion walks forward and over to the table, taking a seat
  123. >He takes a moment to breathe
  124. >"Twilight Sparkle... The Princess' favoured student. She just ascended to Alicornhood"
  125. >Mutters all around
  126. >Lyra shakes her head
  127. >"That's impossible... When was the last time an Alicorn was created?"
  128. >Quen answers her
  129. >"Not long ago, Mistress. Princess Cadence proved herself worthy after demonstrating the perks of a born leader. She was granted Alicornhood just 25 years ago."
  130. >Lyra nods slightly
  131. >"Right... Right..."
  132. >She slams her hoof on the table, causing everyone to jump
  133. >"This is ridiculous! 2 Alicorns in 25 years?! What's Celestia playing at? Handing out godhood like it's nothing!"
  134. >Iron Flank wakes up with a snort
  135. >"Whaa Ahh mihhh"
  136. >Neville translates for him
  137. >"He says 'What did I miss'?
  138. >Lyra huffs
  139. >"Twilight Sparkle became an Alicorn, Iron Flank."
  140. >Iron Flank snorts
  141. >"Uuuh. Eeheh! Huzz ghudda khiiierr! Unnger Halihuurr ehzhuhher ta kuh."
  142. >"He says 'Easy! Just gotta kill her. Younger Alicorns are... easier... to..."
  143. >Neville stops, his eyes widening
  144. >He looks straight at you
  145. >Your face is sporting a massive grin
  146. >Glance at Quen
  147. >Her eyes are lit up and she's looking at Lyra, who is rubbing her hooves together and chuckling darkly.
  148. >"Well, Brothers and Sisters... I think we all know what we have to do"
  149. >She stands up on two legs, pointing at the ceiling
  150. >"We are going to kill Twilight Sparkle!
  151. >Twilight was set to arrive in Canterlot in 2 days, where she will be crowned a princess and her new life as an Alicorn will begin
  152. >The Brotherhood of Pone descended into madness in those two days, battle plans and strategies being throw around like cheap whore
  153. >"IT WON'T WORK, ANON! THERE ARE TOO MANY GUARDS!"
  154. OH COME ON, WE CAN TAKE ON A REGIMENT OF ROYAL MAGI, HAVE SOME FAITH
  155. >"WE'LL BE SLAUGHTERED!"
  156. THERE'S ONLY 135 OF THEM, LYRA. WE CAN TAKE THEM
  157. >You've had hardly any sleep planning for this day, but it all pays off, because eventually you all decide on a plan
  158. >Sat around the table again you present the plan to the rest of the group
  159. >Or at least, most of them. Iron Flank fell asleep the moment you opened your mouth
  160. Twilight is going to arrive by train, presumably with the other elements of harmony.
  161. On their own they'll be quite easy to bring down, as none of them are particularly dangerous, but Twilight isn't to be touched until all of her friends are taken care of.
  162. >You motion to a map of the castle
  163. She'll be staying in her old room near the library, no doubt. When everyone else is dealt with, we'll move in and take her down all at once.
  164. >Neville raithith hith hand
  165. >"How many of uth are there?"
  166. At full strength, we have 15 agents, all will be present on the night and all of them will attack Sparkle at once.
  167. >Quen nods slowly, then speaks
  168. >"How do you propose we bring down Sparkle?"
  169. Ah, now this is the tricky part. Even without her enhanced powers, Twilight was a magical prodigy. You've all seen what she's capable of.
  170. >Everyone nods, Lyra's face remains expressionless and Iron Flank snorts in his sleep in response to what you said
  171. So, we've ordered in some 'assistance'.
  172. >Iron Flank murmurs slightly
  173. Exactly. Iron's connections to the army have landed us with some extremely rare and powerful null-magic horn rings.
  174. >Everyone who's awake "oooohs"
  175. >"And we slap one on Sparkle?"
  176. Right. Once we get the ring on her, she'll be utterly useless against 15 of us.
  177. >Your voice darkens
  178. But make no mistake, my friends. Even if she's just ascended, Twilight is a force to be reckoned with. Her intellect is unmatched by her peers and this all rides on her being at the right place at the right time, and being alone.
  179. >Everyone shuffles nervously
  180. This is our only shot at killing a new-born Alicorn before she escapes our grasp and begins growing older. Books and old scrolls have shown that Alicorns gain in power exponentially over the first few weeks.
  181. >Gulp
  182. I wouldn't be surprised if her skin was impervious to an assassin's dagger next week.
  183. >Your audience mutters
  184. >Quen speaks up
  185. >"What about the guards?"
  186. That's where our other agents come in. They'll be more than capable of dealing with any guards.
  187. >She nods
  188. So. Tonight's the night. We all know what we're doing. The target is on time according to our agents.
  189. >Take a deep breath
  190. This is it.
  191. >As you all walk out of the building, there is silence amongst your comrades
  192. >Neville eventually breakth the thilenth
  193. >"What are we doing again?"
  194. GOD FUCKING DAMMIT!
  195. >"FUCKS SAKE, NEVILLE"
  196. >"I hate you so much Neville"
  197. >"Ahh ehh uhh hehhille"
  198. >Neville lookth at the floor mitherably
  199. >"Thorry... I jutht couldn't pay attenthion..."
  200. We're going to kill Twilight Sparkle. Tonight.
  201. >"Oh! W-won't we get in trouble?
  202. Of course we're going to get in trouble. THAT'S THE POINT.
  203. >"But why?"
  204. We're going to raise hell, Neville! With Twilight Sparkle dead, all of Equestria will crumble into chaos!
  205. >"Ok then. But what if we don't manage to do it?"
  206. >Grimace
  207. I dread to think. Just concentrate on killing Twilight, Neville.
  208. >The streets of Canterlot are bustling with activity
  209. >The night is young, and you missed the coronation because of planning
  210. >You got all the important information from your scout though:
  211. >"It was shit"
  212. >Damn good scout, that one.
  213. >You and your group drift through the crowds of celebrating and drunk ponies towards the castle
  214. >Duck down an alley between a house and an inner citadel wall
  215. Ready?
  216. >Quen nods
  217. >"Ready"
  218. >She pulls out a grapple and slings it over the wall, tugging on it to make sure that it's strong enough
  219. >Harness your inner monkey and practically run up the wall, your comrades staring in awe
  220. >Hell yeah. Ape origins.
  221. >The other ponies climb the wall, more slowly
  222. >As you help Iron Flank up, something catches your eye
  223. >A nearby guard, who hadn't noticed you, is silenced and dragged into a bush.
  224. >A pony dressed in black walks out, sees you, and nods
  225. >Nod back and grin
  226. >All is going according to plan
  227. >The agent slips back into the darkness
  228. >You and the group wait behind a wall and you check your watch
  229. >3... 2... 1...
  230. >Peer over
  231. >Watch as 2 other agents dispatch the guards stood outside
  232. >They barely make a noise
  233. >Where the hell do you find these ponies?
  234. >Sneak into the castle and creep along the corridors, making sure that everyone is behind you
  235. >Quen is stood right behind you, wearing simple body armour and a black mask, like you
  236. >Mistress Lyra is behind her, wearing a tricorn hat and a sword across her back
  237. >You're not sure how she's going to use it, but you don't question her.
  238. >Behind her stands Neville, wearing a helmet that's far too big for him and comes down over his eyes
  239. >And behind that stands Iron Flank, wide awake and glaring back at you
  240. >Dressed in stolen Luna Guard armour, with deep scars and burns all over it, he carries a trident as well as various other blades
  241. >He twitches
  242. >You don't want to be in his way when the fighting starts
  243. >Turn back around and take step forward
  244. >A voice behind you hisses
  245. >"Stop!"
  246. What?!
  247. >"Iron Flank's asleep again"
  248. >GOD DAMMIT.
  249. >Turn around
  250. >Sure enough, the old stallion is snoozing in his armour, his cheek rubbing against the points of his trident while he dreams old pony dreams
  251. >He smacks his lips in his sleep
  252. >"Huuh seluusiuhh fluuu..."
  253. >"He thayth 'hot Thelethtia flank'
  254. >Groan
  255. Wake him up! We're wasting time here!
  256. >Neville prodth the thtallion awake
  257. >Iron Flank grunts and shakes his head, before nodding at you
  258. >With little time to waste, you pick up the pace and head towards the first room
  259. >Turn a corner
  260. >A guard is patrolling outside the door
  261. >Motion for the group to stay behind and whisper
  262. I'll take care of him...
  263. >Creep up behind him, readying your dagger
  264. >The guard's back is facing you, and your heartbeat is increasing rapidly
  265. >Lick your lips slowly and start raising the weapon
  266. >Just as you're about to strike, he falls forwards and goes limp
  267. >You blink a few times and lower the weapon a bit
  268. >The guard's mouth is forced open from the inside, and a giant beetle dressed in beige uniform and cap crawls out, holding his own set of daggers
  269. >He looks at you
  270. >Stare back, slack jawed
  271. >The beetle screams at you in his tiny voice
  272. >"THE SOUTH SHALL RISE AGAIN!"
  273. >And he scuttles into a hole in the wall
  274. >Stand back up straight and rub your temples
  275. >Turn around
  276. >Motion for the group to follow you
  277. >They all join you and look at the door
  278. >Lyra speaks quietly
  279. >"So, who's this?"
  280. Let's find out...
  281. >You push open the door slowly and poke your head through, staying as silent as you can
  282. >A pink form lies on the bed, happily dreaming
  283. >Slip through the door and over to the bed, preparing your dagger once again
  284. >The pink pony's face is smiling in her sleep, her chest rising and falling in a steady rhythm
  285. >You raise the dagger over her, preparing to stab her throat and kill her as quickly as you can
  286. >Stare at the pony
  287. >She looks so happy like that.
  288. >So peaceful
  289. >Stand there awkwardly, holding the dagger over her
  290. >Lyra looks around the door and hisses at you
  291. >"What's taking so long?!"
  292. I c-can't kill her!
  293. >"WHAT?!"
  294. >7 minutes later you're all stood around Pinkie Pie's bed.
  295. >Quen lets out an exasperated groan
  296. >"I can't do it either!"
  297. >She gives the dagger back to you
  298. >Lyra's eye twitches and her mane is more messy than usual
  299. >"WHY CAN'T WE KILL HER?!"
  300. JUST SHUT UP AND LET ME THINK!
  301. >Pinkie Pie kicks a rear leg in her sleep and sighs happily
  302. >Everyone around the bed "awws" and then goes back to arguing
  303. >"Just push the dagger into her body! It's not hard! It probably won't even hurt her!"
  304. >"It's magic, I swear! She's some kind of earth pony/unicorn hybrid!"
  305. >"Ahhh bleeehhum huuhh hoooohhz"
  306. >"I bet she's an evil witch! Wait... Who are we talking about again?"
  307. >You shrug
  308. Hell if I know, Pinkie Pie.
  309. >Pinkie Pie rubs her chin
  310. >"Well this is a doozy!"
  311. >You all stare at her
  312. >She stares back
  313. >Then grins
  314. >"Hi! Wanna be friends?"
  315. KILL IT!
  316. >You all jump onto Pinkie Pie
  317. >What follows in a clusterfuck of movements that only results in more anger
  318. >Pinkie Pie effortlessly slides out of your grip like she was covered in oil, her body is like a sponge, and contorts in the most unlikely places
  319. >None of you can hold her down since she seems to literally slip through your fingers
  320. >Iron Flank is asleep on Pinkie's bed
  321. >Neville is crying
  322. >Quen is getting angrier by the second
  323. >Lyra is shouting at you
  324. >You are shouting at her
  325. >Pinkie Pie is giggling like a maniac
  326. OH I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF THIS!
  327. >You punch Pinkie Pie straight in the face
  328. >She goes out like a light
  329. >Everyone stares at you
  330. What?
  331. >Quen gawps at you
  332. >"How did you do that?"
  333. >How DID you do that?
  334. I... I don't know. Come on, let’s just get out of here. We've wasted enough time as it is.
  335.  
  336. >You sneak and slide and combat roll through the castle, avoiding guards and disguising yourselves as modern art masterpieces as guards walk past you
  337. >You stop kissing Quen
  338. Ok, I think he's gone
  339. >Iron Flank puts down Neville and Lyra stops doing the "Thinking Man" pose
  340. >You all move onto a door at the end of the corridor
  341. Ok, here's the next room. Ready?
  342. >They all nod
  343. Not gonna have any trouble killing this one?
  344. >They all shake their heads
  345. We're actually going to do it this time?
  346. >They all nod
  347. >10 minutes later you're all crying outside the room
  348. >Quen is clutching onto you and you're stroking her mane, consoling her
  349. >"S-she just looked so peaceful!"
  350. I know, Quen. I know.
  351. >Lyra is sobbing and bashing her head against the wall, punctuating each bash with a word
  352. >"Why. Is. A. Farmer. So. God. Damn. Cute."
  353. >It's true, Applejack was just as adorable as Pinkie Pie. None of you could touch her so you agreed to just leave her alone and with her dreams.
  354. >Fucking Applejack.
  355. >Composing yourselves, you search through the castle for the next room
  356. >A guard you were about to kill dropped dead before you could do anything
  357. >His friend ran around the corner, screamed "HE ONLY HAD 4 DAYS TILL RETIREMENT!" then died of shock
  358. >This night is strange.
  359. >You all reach a door. By now you're all jaded to the ways of cuteness.
  360. >You grimace and prepare to open the door
  361. >Point at your crew
  362. >They glare back, deadly serious looks on their faces
  363. Remember, no cute shit.
  364. >Push open the door and stroll up to the bed
  365. >A white unicorn sleeps in it
  366. >Rarity, no doubt.
  367. >You shake her awake, too annoyed to be fucking around
  368. >"Wh-whah?"
  369. What did the fabric say to the needle?
  370. >"I-I d-don't know?"
  371. >Punch her in the face
  372. >She crumples
  373. Nothing. Fabric can't talk.
  374. >Lyra pats you on the back
  375. >"You did good, Anon."
  376. >Neville thpeakth up
  377. >"Ithn't it a bit too convenient that both Pinkie and Rarity were knocked unconthiouth by punching them in the fayth?"
  378. >You punch him in the face and sling him over your shoulder
  379. >Quen stares at you
  380. >Glare back at her
  381. >Her tail lifts slightly
  382. >Ignore her and walk out the door, carrying Neville.
  383. >Your crew stroll through the castle, the guards all oddly missing
  384. >You swear you saw black shapes moving around from time to time
  385. >Good to know that SOME of you are doing their jobs
  386. >If you might take a moment, you're feeling very disgruntled right now.
  387. >Iron Flank just curls up and sleeps whenever he can
  388. >Neville is bent around your neck like a bony scarf
  389. >Quen keeps raising her tail whenever she looks at you
  390. >And Lyra is quickly going insane.
  391. >She's now talking to herself
  392. >"Yes! I bought him on the stock markets from a handsome little filly called Georgia Springs!"
  393. >Shake your head
  394. >Fucking... Everyone.
  395. >Turn a corner
  396. >A single guard is stood outside the fourth room
  397. >He sees you
  398. >"HALT!"
  399. >You don't halt. Instead you just fume and walk towards him faster
  400. >"I'M WARNING YOU!"
  401. >Grip Neville's tail
  402. >When you're in dithtance, you uthe Neville ath a biological morningthtar and beat the guard into thubmithion, theveral thickening crackth echoing throughout the hallth
  403. >The group catches up to you
  404. >Neville hath the guardth blood all over him, but hith helmet protected him otherwithe.
  405. >He'th gonna have thome theriouth whiplath onth thith ith all done
  406. >Ignore Quen, who is now stroking your leg, and kick the door open
  407. >The loud bang wakes up the blue pony with a yelp
  408. >"W-what the hay? Who in the hoof are you?!"
  409. SHUT UP AND FUCK YOU
  410. >Overarm throw Neville by hith tail at her
  411. >Hith helmet collideth with her head and thee goeth out like a light
  412. >Grumble and walk over, grabbing Neville's tail again and dragging him out the room again along the floor
  413. >You move along the corridors, dragging Neville along the floor the entire time
  414. >Reach the fifth and final room before Twilight
  415. >Uthe Neville to smash it open
  416. >He might be dead by now, you're not sure.
  417. >The yellow pony in the bed screams and huddles under her blanket, her teal eyes peering out at you from underneath it
  418. >Growl and drag Neville over to her
  419. >She emerges from the blanket and stares at you, her face overcome with curiosity
  420. >"Oh! I've never seen a creature like you before! W-what's your name?"
  421. Fuck you.
  422. >"H-hello, Fuck you... I'm Fluttershy!"
  423. Fuck. You.
  424. >"What have you got there, mister? Is that a present for me?"
  425. >She looks down at the broken looking Neville
  426. >"I-is he alright?"
  427. >Grunt
  428. >"Oh, you s-seem cranky..."
  429. >She blushes and flies up to your face
  430. >"If you want... I can help you... Calm down..."
  431. >She starts licking your face
  432. >"All you need to do i-is ask..."
  433. >You take a step back and prepare to give this mare the beating of a lifetime
  434. >Before you can, though, Quen collides with Fluttershy
  435. >The two of them start kicking and screaming along the floor
  436. >"HE'S MY MAN YOU BITCH!"
  437. >"H-HE'S MY TRUE LOVE! I CAN FEEL IT! GET OFF ME!"
  438. >Watch as the pair of them hit the cupboard full of various oils and lubricants
  439. >They shower all over the two mares, now glistening and sliding all over each other
  440. >The grind against each other as they wrestle in the lube
  441. >Sigh and wait for them to be done
  442. >Neither seem to be winning
  443. >Shrug and walk back out the door, Quen can handle herself
  444. >Lyra and Iron Flank are all that's-
  445. >Iron Flank falls asleep
  446. >Fuck him. All you need is Mistress Lyra
  447. >She's talking to her own hoof
  448. >"Yeah! That's what I was thinking, too! Why do we have doorknobs if not for hands! Human hands! It all makes sense now!"
  449. >You pick up Lyra and put her on your shoulder
  450. >Carry her and drag Neville out the castle, and head towards the tower where Twilight Sparkle resides
  451. >Pass a huge pile of guards
  452. >A small team of agents are sat at the base of it, drinking soda and jamming to rap music
  453. >At least they did their jobs
  454. >Snap your fingers
  455. Come on, we're going to kill Twilight now.
  456. >They all nod and follow you
  457. >Finally, something that actually works
  458. >"No no no! Humans HAVE to have come first! Why else would we be using all their tools?"
  459. >Approach the tower
  460. >Stomp up the stairs, your ninja cohorts close behind
  461. >With the strength of an angry god, you kick the door open so hard it's hinges break
  462. >The Alicorn sleeping before you wakes up
  463. >"What the... Who are you?"
  464. YOUR RECKONING, DEMON.
  465. >Hurl Neville at her
  466. >She catches him in a magic field and sets him down
  467. >He rests peacefully on her bed
  468. >She frowns and looks back at you
  469. >Lyra takes notice of Twilight
  470. >"Haha, of course hoof of-"
  471. >She goes silent
  472. >Twilight cocks her head
  473. >You crack your knuckles
  474. >The agents ready their weapons and strike kung-fu poses
  475. >Lyra jumps off your shoulder and draws her sword, holding it her hooves while stood on two legs
  476. >"THIS ENDS HERE, ABOMINATION."
  477. >Twilight looks around
  478. >"Who, me? I'm just a-"
  479. >"WARRIORS! ANNIHILATE HER FOR THE GLORY OF THE BROTHERHOOD!"
  480. >The following minutes are filled with high-octane carnage
  481. >Fires spreads everywhere, Twilight uses her faggot powers to raise an army of spectral pony warriors, who your agents gladly fight
  482. >She also creates a minotaur, who you are now beating the fuck out of
  483. >Your rage is unmatched, and you feel no pain or exhaustion as you pummel the beast into the stone floor
  484. >Run over to Neville, who is waking up on Twilight's bed
  485. >"Wh-where am I-"
  486. >Punch him in the face and pick him up by his tail, jumping back into the fray to crack some ethereal skulls
  487. >Lyra and Twilight, meanwhile, are fighting in the air above.
  488. >Twilight soars past Lyra using her wings, and fires bolts of magic at her while Lyra jumps pillar to pillar like a ninja, deflecting spells with her sword and letting loose war cries and motivational quotes every now and then
  489. >"FIGHT ON, BROTHERS! VICTORY IS AT HAND!"
  490. >She jumps forwards and swipes at Twilight with a hoof
  491. >Twilight is too slow, and take the blow to the horn
  492. >She shudders and drops out of the air, clutching her horn and groaning
  493. >Lyra lands like a cat and stand back up
  494. >Gawp at her
  495. >She looks back
  496. >"I didn't become the Mistress of this operation for nothing, Anonymous"
  497. >That's fair enough.
  498. >Twilight stands up, her legs shaking
  499. >"OK, NOW I'M REALLY MAD!"
  500. >She tries to cast a spell
  501. >You notice that there's a large red ring on her horn, that pulses whenever magic passes through it
  502. >Twilight squeals
  503. >"NO! GET IT OFF!"
  504. >She runs around while you and Lyra laugh
  505. >The agents also laugh, since the spectral ponies and minotaur all faded when her magic was cut off.
  506. Not so Mary Sue now, are you, Twilight?
  507. >"SHUT UP! I'M THE MAIN CHARACTER! THIS ISN'T RIGHT!"
  508. >You chuckle
  509. Nice work, Mistress.
  510. >Lyra isn't listening.
  511. >Her hoof raised a good argument against the existence of humans
  512. >Twilight then screams
  513. >"NO! IT'S NOT FAIR! I BECAME A PRINCESS, AND I'LL STAY A PRINCESS!"
  514. >Her tone of voice is now one of a spoilt child who didn't get what they want.
  515. >She begins straining herself as hard as she can, the ring pulsing brighter and brighter
  516. >A low hum fills the air
  517. >Take a step back
  518. Lyra?
  519. >She isn't listening, her hoof argues that there would be remains of a past civilisation if humans were once in Equestria
  520. >Twilight's eyes are glowing white, and the ring is starting to crack in places, the tower is violently shaking
  521. >An agent cries out
  522. >"She's too strong! The ring can't hold her back!"
  523. My god. She's even more Mary Sue than we could have possibly imagined.
  524. >At that moment the ring explodes, sending fragments everywhere
  525. >And Twilight turns into a black undead dragon covered in purple runes and giving off black smoke
  526. >”THIS ISN’T EVEN MY FINAL FORM, MORTALS”
  527. >Oh.
  528. >Okay then.
  529.  
  530. >The tower is obliterated as Twilight becomes the dragon
  531. >You, the agents and Lyra are trapped on the top of the spire as the stairs crumble behind you
  532. >The roof of the tower is torn off, making it a very tall platform
  533. >Twilight is curled around it, roaring and breathing black fire into the now darkened skies of Equestria
  534. >She's a bit mad.
  535. >"I WILL RENDER YOU TO DUST, MORTAL! I AM MORE POWERFUL THAN YOU CAN POSSIBLY COMPREHEND!"
  536. >You ready Neville
  537. >"YOU CAN'T BE SERIOUS"
  538. >Grit your teeth and motion for the agents to make ready
  539. >They strike more cool poses
  540. >"IF THAT IS WHAT YOU WISH, THEN YOU SHALL MEET YOUR DOOM!"
  541. >You, a living weapon, the mentally unstable leader of a rebellion and 10 ninjas charge at the Ascended Alicorn Undead Dragon Princess as she calls forth a firestorm above the city of Canterlot.
  542. >You really can't make this shit up.
  543. >5 hours later
  544. >You're sat back at the hideout
  545. >Press an icepack against your head
  546. >Iron Flank is snoring, his head on the table and still dressed in battle armour
  547. >Neville is lying on his back in the middle of the table, his body covered in burns and bruises
  548. >Lyra is stroking her hoof and mumbling to herself
  549. >Quen is making lewd faces at you from across the table
  550. Wow.
  551. >Iron Flank snorts
  552. >Neville groans
  553. >Lyra twitches
  554. >Quen licks her lips seductively.
  555. That uhh. That got pretty crazy back then.
  556. >Iron Flank smacks his lips
  557. >Neville coughs up some blood
  558. >Lyra hugs her hoof
  559. >Quen starts playing with herself while looking straight at you
  560. I mean, Dragons? Discord breaking free? Holy shit.
  561. >Wince as you press the icepack against your head again
  562. Did anyone else see me and Celestia fight? Anyone? That was just nuts.
  563. >Quen groans and sprays juices all over you
  564. >She sprayed about 1 meter and hit you right in the face, not bad.
  565. Nice shot, Quen.
  566. >"I love you"
  567. It's just a good thing we had those guys.
  568. >Turn around
  569. Cool job, by the way, guys. Much appreciated
  570. >The ninjas are sat around a TV playing video games
  571. >One of them holds up a hoof and waves backwards, not taking his eyes off the screen
  572. >"No problem, man."
  573. >Look back at the team
  574. But you know what, I think it was worth it. At least Twilight's dead now.
  575. >As you say that, the only remaining wall of the house crumbles
  576. >Look around at the utterly devastated city of Canterlot
  577. >Every single house and structure, including yours, was levelled.
  578. >Press the icepack against your head again
  579. Fucking Alicorns.
  580.  
  581. The End

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