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[FLUTTERRAPE] Matchmaker

By Nebulus
Created: 2021-07-16 21:31:33
Updated: 2021-07-03 21:20:40
Expiry: Never
anonfluttershysafecomedy/flutterrape/

  1. 1.
    Originally uploaded to Pastebin: June 3rd, 2013
  2. 2.
    ---
  3. 3.
     
  4. 4.
    >Day Hitched in Equestria
  5. 5.
    >Wake up
  6. 6.
    >Shit shower shave
  7. 7.
    >Walk downstairs and prepare to end your average day morning ritual
  8. 8.
    >To your slight disappointment, nothing interesting happens while you eat your cereal
  9. 9.
    >Which sucks
  10. 10.
    >Last month your food caught fire because you had accidently bought white phosphorus instead of oatmeal
  11. 11.
    >That was a tough meal to stomach
  12. 12.
    >Put your bowl in the kitchen sink and go to the front door, checking yourself in the mirror before you go
  13. 13.
    >Open the door
  14. 14.
    >Trip over Fluttershy
  15. 15.
    >Slide along the floor
  16. 16.
    Ugh...
  17. 17.
    >"Good morning!"
  18. 18.
    >Her friendly attitude is poisonous this early in the morning
  19. 19.
    Fuggoff.
  20. 20.
    >"Pardon?"
  21. 21.
    FUGGOFF.
  22. 22.
    >"I can't understand you with your face pressed into the dirt, Anonymous"
  23. 23.
    >Remove your face from the dusty path
  24. 24.
    I SAID FU- what the shit are you wearing.
  25. 25.
    >"Oh, this? It's nothing."
  26. 26.
    >She's wearing live sparklers
  27. 27.
    >She winces every time a spark hits her face
  28. 28.
    Doesn't that hurt?
  29. 29.
    >"Love hurts, Anon."
  30. 30.
    Fucking hell, Fluttershy. Just how desperate are you?
  31. 31.
    >"I'm desperate for your dick, hunky bear!"
  32. 32.
    Really?
  33. 33.
    >"Oh yes! I want to-"
  34. 34.
    No, I mean, REALLY? These are the pickup lines you're using?
  35. 35.
    >"...They aren't working?"
  36. 36.
    Mother fuh.. No, they aren't working. Why would they work on ANYONE?
  37. 37.
    >"Because I love you?"
  38. 38.
    Are you delusional?
  39. 39.
    >"Love makes you delusional, Anon"
  40. 40.
    DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT YOU JUST SAID?
  41. 41.
    >"Um..."
  42. 42.
    >Sigh and rub your eyes
  43. 43.
    Alright, listen. Fluttershy. I don't love you. Okay? You might have these fucked up little feelings for me, but I don't love you, okay?
  44. 44.
    >"Can we have sex now?"
  45. 45.
    Are you serious?
  46. 46.
    >"I can be top if you want."
  47. 47.
    You're not even listening to me, are you?
  48. 48.
    >"Oh yeah, baby."
  49. 49.
    You're just hearing what you want to hear.
  50. 50.
    >"You DO love me!"
  51. 51.
    >Slap her
  52. 52.
    >"Ouch!"
  53. 53.
    >Tears well in her eyes
  54. 54.
    >"I-if this is what gets y-you off, I'll do it, Anon..."
  55. 55.
    STOP TALKING, FLUTTERSHY.
  56. 56.
    >She shuts up
  57. 57.
    >Let out an exasperated groan
  58. 58.
    You're out in full force today, aren't you? I don't think you've ever laid it on this hard.
  59. 59.
    >"I'll lay you ha-"
  60. 60.
    NO.
  61. 61.
    >"Okay..."
  62. 62.
    >You sigh and sit down cross legged
  63. 63.
    >She cocks her head
  64. 64.
    Sit, Fluttershy.
  65. 65.
    >She places her butt on the path
  66. 66.
    Look at me.
  67. 67.
    >She looks up from your dick
  68. 68.
    Now, I want you to be absolutely serious with me here, okay?
  69. 69.
    >She gulps
  70. 70.
    >"O-okay?"
  71. 71.
    Right.
  72. 72.
    >Clasp your hands together and point at her with them
  73. 73.
    Have you ever had a boyfriend?
  74. 74.
    >She stares at you
  75. 75.
    >Wait for an answer patiently
  76. 76.
    >Birds in a nearby tree tweet
  77. 77.
    >You watch as her eyes un-focus and drift skyward
  78. 78.
    >Remain perfectly still and watch her zone out
  79. 79.
    FLUTTERSHY
  80. 80.
    >"AH! YES!"
  81. 81.
    You HAVE had a boyfriend?
  82. 82.
    >"W-what? Umm... Well, n-no..."
  83. 83.
    >That was expected
  84. 84.
    >Stand up again
  85. 85.
    >Motion Fluttershy to do the same
  86. 86.
    Fluttershy, have you ever shown an interest in another pony?
  87. 87.
    >"N-not really..."
  88. 88.
    Have you ever had a crush?
  89. 89.
    >"Umm..."
  90. 90.
    Have you ever been kissed?
  91. 91.
    >She blushes deeply
  92. 92.
    Have you ever had any kind of intimate interaction with a member of the opposite sex?
  93. 93.
    >"W-well I touched your junk once-"
  94. 94.
    I don't count. I'm talking about stallions here.
  95. 95.
    >She goes quiet and hides behind her mane whimpering
  96. 96.
    >Kneel down and move her head
  97. 97.
    Shy, seriously, did you even go out in your childhood?
  98. 98.
    >"I... I didn't have any friends..."
  99. 99.
    >D'aww
  100. 100.
    >You remain stone faced, though.
  101. 101.
    >Straighten up again
  102. 102.
    Right. I know what I must do.
  103. 103.
    >"Oh yes, Anon! I will marry you!"
  104. 104.
    >Slap her again
  105. 105.
    >"P-please stop doing that..."
  106. 106.
    Fluttershy!
  107. 107.
    >She looks up at you cautiously, expecting another slap
  108. 108.
    We're going to get you a stallion.
  109. 109.
    >Fluttershy stares dumbfounded at you
  110. 110.
    >"I... No thank you, I umm... I need to tend animals..."
  111. 111.
    >She attempts an exit
  112. 112.
    >Grab her tail and yank her back
  113. 113.
    >"A-a-anon, I don't want this p-please, no, please."
  114. 114.
    >She starts stammering even harder than usual and going the colour of beetroot
  115. 115.
    >Though that might be because you're holding her upside down by her tail
  116. 116.
    >Alter your grip so that you're holding her up with two hands
  117. 117.
    >She trembles
  118. 118.
    >"I don't like talking to stallions..."
  119. 119.
    Yet you feel fine talking to me
  120. 120.
    >"Because I lo-"
  121. 121.
    No you don't.
  122. 122.
    >Fluttershy's ears go back
  123. 123.
    Come on. Let's go find you a man.
  124. 124.
    >"You're a man"
  125. 125.
    Stallion. I meant stallion. Shut up.
  126. 126.
    >As you stroll into town with Fluttershy under your arm, your mind is working overtime to try and pluck as many Strong-Independent-Female TV shows from your memory
  127. 127.
    >Surely one of them holds the answer to "grabbing a man and holding on for dear life"
  128. 128.
    >Your brain plays a sound bite of a black woman wagging her finger and saying "MMM HMMM" to a laugh track
  129. 129.
    >Fluttershy doesn't stop trembling the entire time
  130. 130.
    >Look down at her as you walk
  131. 131.
    >Her eyes are fixed on the floor
  132. 132.
    You really hate talking to ponies, don't you?
  133. 133.
    >"N-no... I like my friends though..."
  134. 134.
    >Pat her on the head with your free hand
  135. 135.
    There there, Shy, there there. I was like you once.
  136. 136.
    >"You were a Pegasus in love with a human?"
  137. 137.
    ...No. I meant I was socially retarded.
  138. 138.
    >"How did you fix it?"
  139. 139.
    By not being socially retarded.
  140. 140.
    >Smooth as fuck, Anon
  141. 141.
    >Thanks, brain.
  142. 142.
    >You walk straight into Sugarcube Corner and up to the counter, a confident grin on your face and a terrified horse under your arm
  143. 143.
    >On Earth, people might question your motives
  144. 144.
    >But here, all that people ask is-
  145. 145.
    >"Hiya, Anon! What can I getcha?"
  146. 146.
    Heya, Pinks. Could I have an apple strudel, and one for my horse as well.
  147. 147.
    >"Don't be silly, Anon. Fluttershy isn't a horse! She's a pony!"
  148. 148.
    Eh, same difference. I also need an outside table
  149. 149.
    >"But you can just take one, silly! You don't need to ask me that!"
  150. 150.
    I know. But I did it anyway because I love hearing you talk.
  151. 151.
    >Pinkie Pie giggles
  152. 152.
    >"Well then, I'll go get your strudel, mister."
  153. 153.
    >She winks and trots into the kitchen
  154. 154.
    >You hoist Fluttershy up a bit, causing her to squeak, and walk back outside, setting her down in a seat
  155. 155.
    >Sit across from her
  156. 156.
    >She look back indoors, then back at you
  157. 157.
    You see what I did there?
  158. 158.
    >"Y-you hit on Pinkie?"
  159. 159.
    Aye. See how easy it was?
  160. 160.
    >"I... Suppose."
  161. 161.
    Think you could do that?
  162. 162.
    >"Hit on Pinkie? I don't think my barn door swings that way, Anon..."
  163. 163.
    No, you moron. I mean hit on a stallion as easily as I hit on Pinkie. It wasn't even a good line, but it made her smile, didn't it?
  164. 164.
    >Fluttershy taps her chin thoughtfully
  165. 165.
    >Pinkie Pie bounces up to you, tray in hand
  166. 166.
    >You pluck your treat off it and hand the other one to Fluttershy
  167. 167.
    Thanks, Pinkie
  168. 168.
    >She grins at you
  169. 169.
    >"No problem, Nonny."
  170. 170.
    >She lightly nudges your arm with a hoof and turns to walk away, a small, cute smile on her lips
  171. 171.
    >Fluttershy's eyes are wide
  172. 172.
    >"B-but Pinkie doesn't even like you that way!"
  173. 173.
    She does now, and also, how the hell would you even know that?
  174. 174.
    >"I don't know"
  175. 175.
    >Shake your head and eat your sugar covered pastry, savouring the apple within
  176. 176.
    >Fluttershy nibbles on hers in silence
  177. 177.
    >You start thinking of possible matches for Fluttershy, but first you need a second opinion on what you're working with here
  178. 178.
    >A stallion strolls past your table
  179. 179.
    Hey, buddy
  180. 180.
    >He turns his head and is evidently shocked to have been approached by the local alien so casually
  181. 181.
    >"Uhh, yes?"
  182. 182.
    I have no idea how to gauge a pony's attractiveness, so spare me the trouble and tell me how hot she is
  183. 183.
    >Point at Fluttershy
  184. 184.
    >The stallion thinks about it
  185. 185.
    >"Hmm... Nine out of ten"
  186. 186.
    Shit, seriously?
  187. 187.
    >"Yup. She was a model once, you know"
  188. 188.
    Alright, thanks, man.
  189. 189.
    >"I'm not a man-"
  190. 190.
    Whatever.
  191. 191.
    >He walks off and you look back at Fluttershy, who seems to be utterly livid
  192. 192.
    >"A-ANON!"
  193. 193.
    Yo.
  194. 194.
    >"Y-y-you can't just ask ponies that! It was so... Embarrassing..."
  195. 195.
    Why? You got complimented. Didn't it feel good? Haven't you ever been complimented by a guy?
  196. 196.
    >"Well this one time, you said I suited the sexy clown costume!"
  197. 197.
    That was a joke. It was also a horrible fetish guess. I'm actually scared shitless of clowns
  198. 198.
    >"Oh... Sorry..."
  199. 199.
    I might just make things more awkward now that you've reminded me of that. Consider it pay back
  200. 200.
    >She 'eeps' and tries to hide her entire face behind her mane
  201. 201.
    >Not that you care
  202. 202.
    >Your mind is on other things
  203. 203.
    >Namely, a match you think might work.
  204. 204.
    >You lick your fingers and snap them
  205. 205.
    Come on, I know where to start
  206. 206.
    >"C-can't we go home? I don't want to do this..."
  207. 207.
    I didn't want to live in a world of cartoon horses, but hey, I adapted, didn't I?
  208. 208.
    >"Well I'm glad you're here..."
  209. 209.
    I'm not. I had video games at home
  210. 210.
    >"We have video games"
  211. 211.
    'Button Presser 5' isn't a game.
  212. 212.
    >Ponies haven't got much room for creativity when they only have hooves to control their games with.
  213. 213.
    >You stand up and head straight in the direction of Sweet Apple Acres
  214. 214.
    >A smile grows on your face
  215. 215.
    >This is gonna be fun
  216. 216.
     
  217. 217.
    >"Are you sure, Anon?"
  218. 218.
    I've never been more sure about anything in my life.
  219. 219.
    >"You said that about your decision not to marry me."
  220. 220.
    Second most sure thing in my life, then.
  221. 221.
    >You are both sat in a bush, looking out at the tall, muscular farm pony.
  222. 222.
    >Big Macintosh.
  223. 223.
    >He's absolutely perfect for Fluttershy
  224. 224.
    >Quiet, hardworking, gentle, and probably good looking
  225. 225.
    >Though you can't tell with ponies
  226. 226.
    So, you remember what to do?
  227. 227.
    >"No..."
  228. 228.
    Ugh. Walk up to him, and ask for his name.
  229. 229.
    >"But I already know Mac."
  230. 230.
    Then ask him how he's doing and if he can talk for a moment, then let the conversation flow from there.
  231. 231.
    >"O...kay?"
  232. 232.
    Good. NOW GO.
  233. 233.
    >Shove her out the bush and watch her roll down the hill towards Mac like a sexually deprived bowling ball
  234. 234.
    >She slams into his legs
  235. 235.
    >That gets his attention
  236. 236.
    >Pick up the bush and shuffle towards the pair so that you can listen in
  237. 237.
    >You're not even aware of how you managed to lift up a bush, or why it wasn't attached to the floor
  238. 238.
    >But whatever.
  239. 239.
    >Anon the match-maker cares not for conventional physics.
  240. 240.
    >"Ya okay there, Miss Fluttershy?"
  241. 241.
    >"O-oh, y-yes... Umm... I'm F-Fluttershy..."
  242. 242.
    >Mac's apathetic look changes to apathetic with a tiny hint of confusion
  243. 243.
    >"Ah know that, Fluttershy."
  244. 244.
    >He chuckles
  245. 245.
    >"What can ah do fer ya?"
  246. 246.
    >Fluttershy picks herself up and looks at the floor
  247. 247.
    >"Umm... C-can I talk to you for a second?"
  248. 248.
    >"Eeyup"
  249. 249.
    >...
  250. 250.
    ...
  251. 251.
    >"..."
  252. 252.
    >"..."
  253. 253.
    >"Well don'cha want to say somethin'?"
  254. 254.
    >"Oh! Yes! Umm... H-hello..."
  255. 255.
    >"Uhh, Hi."
  256. 256.
    >...
  257. 257.
    >...
  258. 258.
    >Jesus fucking Christ this mare has the social capabilities of a walnut
  259. 259.
    >Mutter under your breath
  260. 260.
    Say something, you god damn horse
  261. 261.
    >...
  262. 262.
    >Big Mac clears his throat
  263. 263.
    >Fluttershy scuffs the ground with a hoof
  264. 264.
    >Mac looks back at the tree he was about to kick, then back at Fluttershy
  265. 265.
    >"Ya know, It was real nice talkin' to ya, Fluttershy. But ah gotta go now."
  266. 266.
    >"O-okay..."
  267. 267.
    >Mac shrugs and switches over the stalk in his mouth to the other side
  268. 268.
    >Walks back to his tree
  269. 269.
    >And continues working
  270. 270.
    >Fluttershy is stood completely rigid and staring at the ground
  271. 271.
    >Sigh and step out the bush
  272. 272.
    >Pick up Fluttershy and shove her under your arm
  273. 273.
    >Mac sees you
  274. 274.
    >He waves
  275. 275.
    >Wave back and point to Fluttershy
  276. 276.
    >He nods
  277. 277.
    >You nod back. completely understanding him.
  278. 278.
    >GUY TALK.
  279. 279.
    Never in all my life have I seen a being so awkward. And my cousin used to eat paste.
  280. 280.
    >"L-lots of foals eat paste..."
  281. 281.
    He was 32.
  282. 282.
    >"Oh..."
  283. 283.
    >You're sat inside Fluttershy's cottage
  284. 284.
    >You glance left and see a framed picture of you under the shower on a small table
  285. 285.
    >Place it face down so you don't have to look at it.
  286. 286.
    You alright?
  287. 287.
    >Fluttershy apparently went into shock shortly after Mac left
  288. 288.
    >She's currently wrapped up in a blanket with a hot water bottle on her head
  289. 289.
    >You had no idea how to treat shock, so you just decided that it must be the same as Flu, since everyone is so shocked when they get it.
  290. 290.
    >Fluttershy shudders
  291. 291.
    >"Oh Anon! It was just awful! He was staring me down with his oppressive eyes and undressing me with them as well! If you weren't there, he might have r-raped me!"
  292. 292.
    >Blink
  293. 293.
    >Stare at her
  294. 294.
    >She looks back
  295. 295.
    >Continue to stare
  296. 296.
    >You heard her, but your brain has the information in it's hands and is re-reading it over and over again whilst saying "What the fuck"
  297. 297.
    Did you actually just say that?
  298. 298.
    >"Umm, yes?"
  299. 299.
    Did you actually just... Say. That.
  300. 300.
    >"Y-yes?"
  301. 301.
    >Your mind shuts off
  302. 302.
    >Fluttershy
  303. 303.
    >Rape
  304. 304.
    >Oppressive
  305. 305.
    >Mac
  306. 306.
    >Undress
  307. 307.
    >Rape
  308. 308.
    >Fluttershy
  309. 309.
    >Undress
  310. 310.
    >Macinshy
  311. 311.
    >Rapeintosh
  312. 312.
    >Start drooling
  313. 313.
    >Black out.
  314. 314.
     
  315. 315.
    >Wake up in Fluttershy's bed
  316. 316.
    >Luckily, you're still clothed
  317. 317.
    >Flutters is stood next to it
  318. 318.
    >"Are you okay?"
  319. 319.
    >Throw off the covers
  320. 320.
    >"W-want me to-"
  321. 321.
    DON'T SAY ANOTHER WORD. WE'RE GOING TO GET YOU LAID AND THAT'S FINAL
  322. 322.
    >Grab the small horse and jump out her bedroom window, hitting the floor and rolling
  323. 323.
    >Fluttershy is squealing the entire time
  324. 324.
    >"T-THAT WAS DANGEROUS!"
  325. 325.
    Shut up shut up shut up don't talk just DON'T. TALK.
  326. 326.
    >She goes silent
  327. 327.
    >Briskly walk to the park, the pony under your arm dangling there feeling sorry for herself
  328. 328.
    >Reach your destination and sit down on a bench
  329. 329.
    >Take a deep breath
  330. 330.
    >Don't think about before, Anon. Just don't.
  331. 331.
    >Alright. We're clear, go.
  332. 332.
    >Turn to Fluttershy, who is sat next to you
  333. 333.
    Okay, disregarding that little hiccup, what do you look for in a stallion?
  334. 334.
    >"Oh! That's easy!"
  335. 335.
    >Progress! At last!
  336. 336.
    >"I like them to be kind... Generous... Good with animals... Strong, Handsome and Bipedal
  337. 337.
    Uh huh, uh huh, uh- wait.
  338. 338.
    >Give her a flat look
  339. 339.
    >She beams back
  340. 340.
    >"Will you be my special somep-"
  341. 341.
    No. Listen, you might need to lower your standards a bit. Having them that high will bite you in the ass later.
  342. 342.
    >She looks down
  343. 343.
    >"Sorry..."
  344. 344.
    Stop apologising.
  345. 345.
    >"Sorry..."
  346. 346.
    Fuckin-
  347. 347.
    >Groan again
  348. 348.
    >This is harder than you thought
  349. 349.
    >Look around the park for any stallions that are alone
  350. 350.
    >See one on a bench reading a book
  351. 351.
    Right. Him.
  352. 352.
    >"What?"
  353. 353.
    The time is now, small horse. Come on.
  354. 354.
    >Grab her before she can scramble away and walk over to the stallion
  355. 355.
    >He looks up from his book and sees an alien holding a pony looming over him
  356. 356.
    Hi.
  357. 357.
    >"Hello? Can I... Help you?"
  358. 358.
    Yes.
  359. 359.
    >Trust Fluttershy forwards similar to how a child thrusts a doll at her parent
  360. 360.
    Pony. You like?
  361. 361.
    >"Uh, n-no, thank you. Are you okay, miss?"
  362. 362.
    >She doesn't answer, she just sqeaks
  363. 363.
    Are you sure you don't want this? I can't seem to get rid of it.
  364. 364.
    >"Now hold on, you could at least refer to her as a... Well, her!"
  365. 365.
    So do you think she's attractive?
  366. 366.
    >He blushes
  367. 367.
    >"W-well, yes, but-"
  368. 368.
    Would you stick it in her?
  369. 369.
    >"I... I ca-"
  370. 370.
    Yes or no, man, I don't have all day.
  371. 371.
    >"Y- NO! No, I wouldn't."
  372. 372.
    Why not. You gay or something?
  373. 373.
    >He blushes even harder
  374. 374.
    >"Actually... Uhh..."
  375. 375.
    >Pull Fluttershy back a bit
  376. 376.
    ...Oh...
  377. 377.
    >"Yeah..."
  378. 378.
    Uhh, sorry.
  379. 379.
    >"It's okay."
  380. 380.
    >He smiles shyly up at you
  381. 381.
    >"B-but I think you look alright! Would you like to go for some coffee sometime?"
  382. 382.
    >Ponder this
  383. 383.
    >Wait, no you don't. Nigga you ain't gay
  384. 384.
    No thanks, uhh..?
  385. 385.
    >"Caramel"
  386. 386.
    Caramel. Sorry for wasting your time
  387. 387.
    >"It wasn't wasted, stud."
  388. 388.
    >He gets up and winks before walking off with his book
  389. 389.
    >Why does it always have to be you.
  390. 390.
    >Fluttershy is oddly quiet
  391. 391.
    >Like a corpse
  392. 392.
    >Dark simile there, brain.
  393. 393.
    >Sorry
  394. 394.
    >You walk around town with Fluttershy under your arm looking for ponies to annoy
  395. 395.
    >Talk to her while you walk
  396. 396.
    You're really hard work, you know that?
  397. 397.
    >"Sorry..."
  398. 398.
    Ugh.
  399. 399.
    >You see a group of stallions up ahead
  400. 400.
    Alright, Fluttershy, I didn't want to have to do this, but you've forced my hand.
  401. 401.
    >Run up to them
  402. 402.
    >Point at the nearest
  403. 403.
    YOU! WHAT'S YOUR NAME AND WHERE ARE YOU FROM.
  404. 404.
    >"S-seabreeze! I'm from Canterlot!"
  405. 405.
    DO YOU LIKE FLUTTERSHY?
  406. 406.
    >"NO!"
  407. 407.
    FINE.
  408. 408.
    >Point to his friend.
  409. 409.
    NAME. OCCUPATION. FAVOURITE MOVIE.
  410. 410.
    >"Pearjohn, gardener, Stable Whorses 7!"
  411. 411.
    SHIT NAME. SHIT JOB. PLEB TASTES.
  412. 412.
    >Point to the last one, who looks stricken with fear
  413. 413.
    NA-
  414. 414.
    >"THUNDERLANE WEATHER PONY SPIDERMARE 3 AND PONYVILLE"
  415. 415.
    DO YOU WANT TO FUCK THIS HORSE?!
  416. 416.
    >"W-WHAT?!"
  417. 417.
    DO YOU WANT TO FUCK THIS HORSE?!
  418. 418.
    >Rub Fluttershy's body against his face
  419. 419.
    >She trembles and goes redder than a tomato
  420. 420.
    >"Y-YES! I DO!"
  421. 421.
    >Pull Fluttershy back and smile at him
  422. 422.
    >Pat him on the back
  423. 423.
    >Place Fluttershy on the floor
  424. 424.
    Well alright then! Fluttershy, meet Thunderlane. Go do pony things now.
  425. 425.
    >Shoo them away with your hands
  426. 426.
    >Thunderlane's mouth is agape, like he just won the lottery
  427. 427.
    >"N-no way! I get to date Fluttershy?! She's crazy hot!"
  428. 428.
    Less beta, more alpha
  429. 429.
    >He clears his throat and puffs out his chest
  430. 430.
    >"R-right. Yeah. Okay."
  431. 431.
    >You watch him lead Fluttershy away
  432. 432.
    >She looks over your shoulder at you, looking similar to a fat kid on the first day of high school
  433. 433.
    >Smile and wave at her
  434. 434.
    Have fun!
  435. 435.
    >"Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee"
  436. 436.
    >Sigh happily
  437. 437.
    Damn, I'm good.
  438. 438.
     
  439. 439.
    >Walk home, exhausted after a day of setting horses up on dates
  440. 440.
    I should be a relationship counsellor.
  441. 441.
    >Unlock your front door and step through
  442. 442.
    >All your curtains are shut and it's dark as hell in your living room
  443. 443.
    >Fumble around and switch on the lights
  444. 444.
    >"Hey there, Anon."
  445. 445.
    >Pinkie Pie is sprawled out on your sofa, giving you the bedroom eyes.
  446. 446.
    >"Wanna feed me your frosting?"
  447. 447.
    Hell yeah.
  448. 448.
    >Fucking Pinkie Pie.
  449. 449.
     
  450. 450.
    The End

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