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[FLUTTERRAPE] Necromancer Anon

By Nebulus
Created: 17th December 2020 07:00:17 PM

  1. Originally uploaded to Pastebin: June 22nd, 2013
  2. ---
  3.  
  4. >Day Morbid in Equestria
  5. >You are Anon
  6. >Madman
  7. >Wake up
  8. >Shit, shower, shave
  9. >Stroll over to the window and throw back the curtains
  10. >A small town can be seen from it
  11. >Ponyville, to be exact
  12. >You hated going there, since you preferred your little cosy cottage
  13. >Being a hermit was awesome
  14. >Especially since the peace and quiet gave you ample time to work on your creations
  15. >What creations, I hear you ask, dear reader?
  16. >You walk into your kitchen and over to the large wooden door in the corner
  17. >Several giant metal locks keep it nice and shut
  18. >Wouldn't want the unfathomable horror that lies within to escape and wreak havoc upon the unsuspecting masses
  19. >...Yet
  20. >Grab a small burlap sack full of food off the table next to the door
  21. >Gulp
  22. >And undo all the locks
  23. >The door creaks open
  24. >The stench of death instantly fills your nostrils
  25. >You're used to it though
  26. >Walk down the steps and turn on the lights
  27. >A hideous creature of insurmountable revulsion stumbles into the light
  28. >It inspires fear into your heart
  29. >Truly, you are a monster for creating such a vile and sinful creati-
  30. >"Oh, hi, Anon. Is it morning already?"
  31. >...
  32. >You wish she would act more like a monster sometimes
  33. "Mornin', Grubs."
  34.  
  35. 1/?
  36.  
  37. >Grubs stretches
  38. >Her front leg's stitches come undone and it falls to the floor
  39. >You both stare at it
  40. >"Uhh, you can fix that, right?"
  41. >Huff and stroll past her
  42. "Of course I can, you foolish minion!"
  43. >"That was uncalled for, Anonymous."
  44. "...Sorry. But I'd like it if you at least TRIED to act like a brainless drone"
  45. >Grubs sniffs, a worm pokes it's head out of her grey/green cheek before ducking back inside
  46. >She takes no notice of it
  47. >"Well I might act brainless if I wasn't completely aware of my surroundings. Which reminds me, can I go outside now?"
  48. "NO! You aren't ready."
  49. >"For what?"
  50. "I'm going to turn you into a brutal killing machine, then unleash you on Ponyville and watch in glee as you butcher the innocents!"
  51. >"Why?"
  52. "Because when I first got here, they had a party and didn't invite me"
  53. >She blinks a few times
  54. >Her eye falls out
  55. >You pick it up and pop it back in, then watch as it slowly rolls around back into it's original position
  56. >"That's kinda foalish, Anon"
  57. "S-shut up."
  58. >"For an insane hermit necrolord, you're a bit... Beta"
  59. "SHUT UP. HAVE SOME BREAKFAST"
  60. >Throw the sack at her
  61. >It's bloodied contents spill to the floor
  62. >The intestines of a freshly killed animal pour onto the ston-
  63. >It's cabbage, alright?
  64. >You were too scared to kill an innocent animal, so you just stole a cabbage from some hick with a farm hat
  65. >She was mad as hell
  66.  
  67. 2/?
  68.  
  69. >Grubs chews on the cabbage in delight
  70. >You walk over to your table and sit down to work on your newest creation
  71. >Something more... Compliant with orders
  72. >Grubs was the first attempt, she's only 3 days old.
  73. >You dug her up from a nearby cemetery and worked your magic on her
  74. >When she came around, she didn't know who she was, but was still capable of coherent thought.
  75. >She finishes her breakfast and trots on over to you, looking over your shoulder while you sit on your tiny wooden stool and scribble some formulas on some paper
  76. >She slowly swallows her last bit of breakfast and nudges you
  77. >"Whatcha workin' on?"
  78. "A new monster. Something that will blindly follow my orders and not answer me back like YOU"
  79. >Prod her with your quill
  80. >She smirks
  81. >"So you want a slave? Wow, I didn't think you were into that kind of stuff"
  82. "Shush. Or I won't reattach your leg."
  83. >"When exactly are you going to do that?"
  84. "When I deem you worthy enough."
  85. >"..."
  86. "I-I don't have any more string..."
  87. >"You going to head into town and steal some again?"
  88. "Yes."
  89. >"When?"
  90. "Right now"
  91. >"Do it then"
  92. "I will!"
  93. >"Go!"
  94. "I AM DOING!"
  95. >You stand up and storm out of the basement
  96. >"AND BRING BACK SOME MORE CABBAGE!"
  97. >Slam the door shut and lock it
  98. >Stupid fucking zombie servant not listening to orders
  99.  
  100. 3/?
  101.  
  102. >Walk through the tall grass towards the town, the sun shining on your neck as you look at your feet while you walk
  103. >Soon. They'll all perish soon.
  104. >...That party looked like so much fun
  105. >You reach the outskirts of town and start sneaking
  106. >Make a break for the large clothes shop, which is luckily out of the way in terms of other buildings
  107. >Dive into a bush and look around
  108. >No one noticed you
  109. >Reminds you of your romantic life
  110. >Ha! Good one, brain!
  111. >Aaaand now you're sad
  112. >With a glum look upon your mug you peek through a window
  113. >Observe the shop owner mill about, stitching this and that while seemingly singing to herself
  114. >Watch her needlework intently
  115. >You need to learn how to do that. Grubs' leg has fallen off 4 times in the short time she's been alive
  116. >The damn thing just won't stay on.
  117. >You're tempted to melt the skin together. Not like she can feel pain
  118. >She might not approve of you attacking her with fire though
  119. >Grubs may be a servant, but she's got a mean slapping hoof
  120. >The shop pony exits the room, leaving a large spool of pink string on the floor
  121. >You were told her name once, when you got here, but you've already forgotten it
  122. >It's been like, a year since you got here
  123. >You've spent most of that time fixing up the hut you found outside town and researching the wonders of necromancy
  124. >But now is not the time for memories. It's the time for theft
  125. >You sprint around the side of the shop to the front and burst through the door
  126. >Grab the string
  127. >Run your ass out of there before the pony can reappear
  128. >"Hello? Is any pony there?"
  129. >Too slow, shop-horse. You're like a phantom
  130. >Chuckle and scurry towards the tall grass as you have done a hundred times before
  131. >Turn and look back at the shop window
  132. >The pony is looking confused
  133. >Another successful heist
  134.  
  135. 4/?
  136.  
  137. >You plod through the grass on the way back to your hut, clutching the thread spool in one hand
  138. >The sounds of birds chirping accompanies you
  139. >You lazily trudge homewards and pay no mind to the pony that steps out in front of you
  140. >Wonder why the world is moving so fast
  141. >Slam down on your front
  142. >It knocks the wind out of you and your thread goes flying
  143. >Rub your head and stand up
  144. >Look at what you tripped over
  145. >A small yellow pegasus is nursing her leg and looking sorry for herself
  146. >She sees you and freezes
  147. >You gulp, not sure what to do
  148. >Not so stealthy after all, genius
  149. >The pony slowly takes a step forwards, a nervous look on her face
  150. >"Umm... H-hello?"
  151. >Your eyes dart around for the thread
  152. >Can't find it
  153. >"I-is this yours?"
  154. >The pony offers up the spool on her hoof, giving a small smile along with it
  155. >Snatch it and nod
  156. "Thankyougoodbye"
  157. >Take off running back to your hut
  158. >Grubs will be thrilled to hear about your conversation with the pony
  159.  
  160. "So I says to her "Fuck you, you filthy pegasus. Why don't you go back to pegasusdale or whatever the shit that place is called". Fucking Pegasi, right?"
  161. >Grubs' face is completely deadpan
  162. >Ironic, given that she's technically dead
  163. >"That never happened, did it, Anon?"
  164. "N-no."
  165. >She sighs and nudges her dismembered limb towards you with her muzzle
  166. >"Could you please reattach my leg?"
  167. "Fine, fine... Don't know why I bother talking to you anyway"
  168. >"Because I'm the only pony you CAN talk to?"
  169. "Shush."
  170.  
  171. 5/?
  172.  
  173. >You sit down on your stool and lay Grubs over your lap
  174. >She goes still and patiently waits for you to stitch her leg back on
  175. >The worm from before makes a reappearance
  176. "You gonna get rid of that worm?"
  177. >"No. I like him"
  178. "He's gross"
  179. >"You're a terrible necrolord, you know that?"
  180. "I'm better than you"
  181. >"That's not... Whatever."
  182. >You finish stitching the leg and turn to your undead minion
  183. "Alright, Grubs. Here's the plan."
  184. >Jab a finger at the papers on your desk
  185. "If we're going to level this pathetic town and reforge it in undeath, we'll need these ingredients"
  186. >She looks over the papers
  187. >"I have no idea what any of these things mean."
  188. >You look at the papers
  189. >It's upside down
  190. >God dammit
  191. >Turn it the right way up
  192. >"Ooooh, that seems easy enough. But uhh, I think this might be a problem."
  193. >She points at your most critical material
  194. >Peer at it
  195. >Scrunch up your nose and look back at her
  196. "And what -exactly- is so hard about getting hold of twenty five cadavers?"
  197. >She gives you an "Are you actually serious" look
  198. "You'll just have to go to the cemetery where I got you!"
  199. >"...What do you mean 'me'?"
  200. "You don't seriously think that I'm going to get my hands filthy digging up bodies, do you?""
  201. >She scowls at you
  202. >Pat her on the head
  203. >Her eye falls out
  204. >Push it back in her skull
  205. "Good girl. Chop chop! Or I'll kill you and reanimate you."
  206. >"You won't do that because you don't know how, you bloody ape"
  207. >Ouch.
  208. >"And what are you going to be doing anyway?"
  209. "Getting the other ingredients of course! I'll have to 'neutralise' several targets in order to get them safely, though."
  210. >"You're going to run into town and steal them again, aren't you?"
  211. "Yes."
  212. >"You're not going to hurt a fly, and are instead going to run around screaming if you get caught, aren't you?"
  213. "Y-yes."
  214. >"Alright then. When are we doin-"
  215. >Knock knock knock
  216.  
  217. 6/?
  218.  
  219. >You stare at your minion
  220. "...Did you just say 'knock knock knock'?"
  221. >"No."
  222. >She turns her head slightly and raises an eyebrow
  223. >"I... I think you might have a visitor"
  224. >Your brain struggles to process this
  225. "What should I do?"
  226. >Knock knock knock
  227. >"Probably answer the door."
  228. "But I've never had a visitor! What should I say?"
  229. >"I don't know! I've never left this damn basement!"
  230. "Oh yeah. C-can you come up with me?"
  231. >"What, so that if things go wrong I can take care of them and tick one cadaver off your list?"
  232. "Well more as a sort of 'security blanket', but sure, that as well"
  233. >She shakes her head and trots towards the stairs
  234. >"The shit I put up with..."
  235. >Push past her, laughing nervously
  236. "Uhh, I think I'll take the lead, thank you very much, minion."
  237. >She rolls her eyes
  238. >Luckily none of them fall out again
  239. >You walk upstairs and towards the door
  240. >Your palms are sweaty
  241. >Knees weak
  242. >Arms are heavy
  243. >Reach it and look back at your minion, who is looking at you from the top of the basement stairs
  244. >She points a hoof at the door and jerks her head to the side
  245. >Gulp
  246. >Open the door
  247. >Look down
  248. >The pegasus is there
  249. >Uh oh
  250.  
  251. 7/?
  252.  
  253. >You both stare at each other for a good while
  254. >A gentle breeze drifts on by
  255. >Shuffle nervously
  256. "Can I help you?"
  257. >"Umm... My name is Fluttershy."
  258. >She takes a step forwards
  259. >"What's yours?"
  260. >Look to the left
  261. >Grubs draws a hoof across her neck then gives you a quizzical look
  262. >Shake your head
  263. >Turn back to Fluttershy
  264. "Anonymous. And I don't want to buy anything. Good bye."
  265. >Slam the door
  266. >Lean against it
  267. >Listen closely
  268. >Hear a defeated sigh and the flap of wings
  269. >Grubs tentatively steps out into the kitchen
  270. >"Is she gone?"
  271. "I think so"
  272. >She looks around
  273. >"So this is where you live... I thought it would have been dirtier"
  274. "I'll have you know that I'm a very clean person!"
  275. >"And since when did a necrolord concern himself with keeping things neat and tidy?"
  276. >She looks towards your expensive dishes that you stole
  277. >They looked nice and no one else seemed to want them
  278. >Grubs snickers
  279. >"Nice plates, oh lord-of-darkness"
  280. "SHUT UP AND GET BACK IN THE BASEMENT, WHELP"
  281. >"Nah, I think I'll stay up here. It's been ages since I saw the sun"
  282. "Fine. Well you can at least help me create my monster while you're up here."
  283. >"Sounds good. Wait, you wanted me to dig up bodies, so I would have come up here anyway. Why are you so concerned about me-"
  284. "STOP POKING HOLES IN MY LOGIC. YOU WEREN'T SUPPOSED TO BE FULLY SELF AWARE WHEN I MADE YOU."
  285. >"Why didn't you just kill me and try again then?"
  286. "imscaredofblud"
  287. >"What?"
  288. "Nothing."
  289.  
  290. 8/?
  291.  
  292. >You both head down into the basement and plan until nightfall
  293. >Grubs' stomach growls
  294. "How do you even get hungry?"
  295. >"It's plant matter or you, milord. Choose which one or else I will"
  296. "Okay! Fine! We'll steal some apples on the way to the graveyard"
  297. >"So you're coming with me then?"
  298. "I need to make sure you don't get the wrong kind of bodies"
  299. >She squints at you
  300. >"That's a terrible excuse. What's the real reason?"
  301. >...
  302. "No reason at all. Don't question my authority."
  303. >She mustn't know that you're also scared of the dark.
  304. >You both fetch some spades and head out of the front door, a full moon hangs overhead, occasionally being shrouded by clouds
  305. >A cold wind chills you to the bone
  306. >Grubs just seems thrilled to be outside
  307. >"I forgot how nice it is out here!"
  308. "Zombies can't appreciate beauty. Stop trying to."
  309. >She sticks her tongue out at you
  310. >It's all rotten and covered in scabs
  311. >Eww
  312. >The darkness is giving you the heeby-jeebies, so you pick up the pace towards the cemetery
  313. >Grubs trots along behind you obediently
  314. >"Isn't this nice? No one's giving each other orders. Just you, me, the moon and a plan."
  315. "Ugh. Be quiet, or I'll give you an order."
  316. >"You just did, then"
  317. >God dammit.
  318. >Reach the graveyard. Tombstones and statues cover the small hill
  319. >Walk up to the peak and survey your surroundings
  320. >Look down at a marked grave
  321. >"Here lies Yellow Belly. Father, Husband, Beloved Coward"
  322. "And now he's gonna be a monster."
  323. >Drive your spade into the soft earth and begin the unholy harvest
  324.  
  325. 9/?
  326.  
  327. >5 hours and a lot of panting later, you and Grubs lie with your backs against a tombstone
  328. >Look at the 25 bodies you managed to uncover
  329. "Well, we did that in record time."
  330. >"There was a record for digging up dead bodies?"
  331. "Shut up"
  332. >Grubs clicks her tongue
  333. >"So how are we gonna get them back to the shack without anyone seeing? It's nearly dawn."
  334. >Look around
  335. >It does look like it's getting lighter
  336. >Peer at your shack, located at the other side of town
  337. >Critical mission error.
  338. >Look around in a sudden panic
  339. >Squint at something lying in the road
  340. >Scramble to your feet and run down to inspect it, Grubs following you with a nonchalant expression
  341. >"I don't think I've ever seen you run that fast bef-"
  342. "SHUT UP."
  343. >You run a hand over the wooden cart lying on it's side
  344. >With some effort, you push it back on it's wheels
  345. >Seems sturdy enough
  346. >Turn to your undead abomination
  347. "Alright, I have a plan. But it -might- be a bit risky"
  348.  
  349. 10/?
  350.  
  351. >"Anon. This is insane."
  352. "Shush! No one has stopped us yet!"
  353. >You walk through Ponyville, pulling the cart behind you
  354. >A large sheet hastily stitched together with pink thread and burial wraps covers the mountain of corpses in your cart
  355. >2 fillies run around in front of you, laughing
  356. >You feel your brow getting sweaty
  357. >Glance at Grubs
  358. >She's wearing something that looks like an Islamic burqa
  359. >Only it's white, covered in dirt and smells like death
  360. >You're half-way through the town, and the sun has just come up
  361. >Ponies are early birds, so there are already a great number of them walking around minding their own business
  362. >Your arms feel like lead from pulling this thing
  363. >But it will all be worth it!
  364. >God help you if you get caught
  365. >"Hello there, Anonymous!"
  366. >Freeze
  367. >Look at the yellow pegasus, hovering next to you
  368. >She smiles sheepishly
  369. >"I don't think I've ever seen you around town before... W-would you like me to show you around?"
  370. "Uhh, no, thank you. I know my way around quite well"
  371. >Hoist the cart's handles to get a better grip and carry on pulling, your feet carrying you faster due to nerves
  372. >Fluttershy doesn't let up, and flies after you
  373. >"Would you like some help? I mean, if you want, that is."
  374. "Quite fine."
  375. >"I l-like your clothes..."
  376. "Thank you."
  377. >"But why are they covered in mud?"
  378. >Look down
  379. >You forgot that you're covered it mud, sweat and grime from your most recent cadaver heist
  380. "Uhhh-"
  381. >"We're mud farmers!"
  382. >Based Grubs.
  383.  
  384. 11/?
  385.  
  386. >Grubs hops down from her perch just behind you
  387. >She walks up to Fluttershy and grabs her hoof, shaking it vigorously
  388. >Fluttershy is clearly shaken
  389. >"Oh-uhm. I-I, I'm Fluttershy..."
  390. >Grubs laughs
  391. >"Pleasure to meet you, Fluttershy! I'm sure you've met Anon before, I'm his... Uhh, wife. Rote Ing."
  392. >Fluttershy cocks her name
  393. >"That's a um... Odd name..."
  394. >Grubs nods solemnly
  395. >"Yes, that it is. My parents were..."
  396. >She trails off
  397. >Then looks at you
  398. "They were... Crack addicts!"
  399. >Both ponies stare at you
  400. >Fluttershy is the first to speak
  401. >"Umm. Crack?"
  402. >Shit. They don't have crack in Equestria
  403. "Oh yes, dangerous and horrible drug from far away. Made you crazy. They were addicting to the stuff and gave their daughter a rubbish name, haha!"
  404. >Grubs catches on, and places a hoof on your leg
  405. >"Yes! That's right! But Anon looked past that and saw me for who I am and so now we are husband and wife!"
  406. >You both give Fluttershy the fakest smiles imaginable
  407. >She's rather unnerved
  408. >"Oh... Umm... Okay. Married? Oh..."
  409. >She gets a glum look and flies away
  410. >Grubs smiles up at you
  411. >Well, you THINK she's smiling. Can't see because of the burqa
  412. >"Nice thinking, Anon. We're on the home stretch. Now get us home."
  413. "Yes, Ma'am"
  414. >Pick up the cart
  415. >Realise what you just said
  416. "I mean, minion. SHUT UP!"
  417. >Grumble as Grubs laughs at you
  418. >Drag the cart all the way to the outskirts of the town, surprisingly, no one else bothered you
  419. >Grubs looks back at the town as you leave it
  420. >"Well I'll be. That wasn't so bad at all!"
  421. >She takes off her headscarf. He rotting face on show to no one but the sun and the birds
  422. >You can almost hear her smiling
  423. >"H-hello again"
  424. >You can almost hear her yelping and cramming her head back inside the cloth
  425. >Chuckle
  426. >Silly Grubs.
  427.  
  428. 11/?
  429.  
  430. >Turn your head as you pull the cart up the path and look at Fluttershy
  431. >"Um. I know you said that you're uhh, married. But do you think it would maybe be possible if you could be so kind as to consider maybe umm..."
  432. >She starts getting flustered and flies off
  433. >Look over at Grubs
  434. >She shrugs and cautiously moves a hoof to pull off her headscarf again
  435. >"Okay, I'll t-try again"
  436. >Grubs lets out a groan
  437. >Fluttershy, once more, hovers alongside you
  438. >"Umm. I've been thinking about you ever since we met that day!"
  439. "Okay."
  440. >"I-it's like fate planted us on the same path!"
  441. "Ya-huh"
  442. >"B-but I know that your wife won't be too pleased. So umm"
  443. >She moves in uncomfortably close, seemingly unphased by the smell of death surrounding you
  444. >...Oh hey, that might explain why no one else came near you. And why people were shutting their doors and windows when you walked on by
  445. >Awesome
  446. >Fluttershy whispers in your ear
  447. >"W-we could keep it a secret. D-does that sound like fun?"
  448. >Remove a hand from a handle and push her away
  449. "Sounds lovely. But I errr."
  450. >Look over at the hideous zombie wearing a burqa, who is also probably laughing silently at you
  451. "I... Love my... Wife?"
  452. >As expected, Grubs snickers
  453. >"I love you too, darling. Maybe we can have some fun tonight"
  454. >OH GOD WHY
  455. >You feel your stomach do a back flip at the thought
  456. >Fluttershy's eyes widen
  457. >"F-fun? Do you mean like..."
  458. >She looks left and right then whispers again
  459. >"Sex?"
  460. >Grubs doesn't even hide her guffaw
  461. >You sigh
  462. "Yes. Sex. With my wife."
  463. >Shudder
  464. >Fluttershy blushes heavily
  465. >"Ohmygoodness. I-I've never talked about sex before!"
  466. >She moves in close
  467. >"Umm. What's it like?"
  468. >Hell if you know. You were hardly a womaniser back home
  469. >Grubs is in hysterics
  470. >"He-... Jusgimmieasec... He's a real monster in bed!"
  471. >Fluttershy 'ooos'
  472. >You feel your rage building
  473.  
  474. 12/?
  475.  
  476. >Grubs continues
  477. >"This one time, he was boning me so hard, I thought I would..."
  478. >She squeaks and tries to compose herself for the incredibly predictable and unfunny punchline
  479. >"I-I thought I would. DIE!"
  480. >She thrashes around on the pile, screaming with laughter
  481. "You know, DARLING. You're quite FUNNY."
  482. >Grubs chokes on her own laughter
  483. >"I-I know I am, dear! That's why I do it! After all, comedy is your fetish!"
  484. >More laughter
  485. >Sigh and look at Fluttershy
  486. >She's giving you a bizarre look
  487. >"It's... Your fetish?"
  488. "Uhhh-"
  489. >"I-is that what turns you on? Comedy?"
  490. "I-"
  491. >"Oh my... Umm. W-will you be at home later today?"
  492. >Grubs descends into more laughter
  493. >"Of course he will! He's a real basement dweller!"
  494. >You spend a few seconds listening to her laugh
  495. >Just then you hear a loud rip
  496. >Grubs goes silent
  497. >Smirk
  498. "You alright back there, honey?"
  499. >"F-fine."
  500. "Good."
  501. >Turn to Fluttershy
  502. "Don't mind my wife. She's 'armless."
  503. >Snicker
  504. >"YOU'RE HILARIOUS, ANON."
  505. >Fluttershy is just staring at you
  506. >"S-so will you like me if I make you laugh?"
  507. "I really don't think-"
  508. >"G-gotta go. See you later!"
  509. >And she's gone
  510. >The shack is drawing nearer, though. So that's lucky
  511. >Open the door and help Grubs down
  512. "I told you to be careful with that thing. You nearly blew our cover!"
  513. >"Sorry..."
  514. >Wow. She sounds genuinely apologetic for once
  515. >She smiles up at you
  516. >"Hehe, blow our -cover-"
  517. >She tugs on her burqa
  518. >"Get it?"
  519. >Shake your head
  520. "Shut up and help me unload these things"
  521. >You can't help but smile though.
  522.  
  523. 13/?
  524.  
  525. >Finish unloading the bodies and storing them in the basement
  526. >Dust your hands off and stare at the pile of bodies now resting in your basement
  527. >Grubs is also looking
  528. >"Shouldn't we like, store them in ice?"
  529. "Ehh, they'll be fine. What's the worst that could happen?"
  530. >"A bad smell?"
  531. "Right! And it's not like anyone ever comes here-"
  532. >Knock knock knock
  533. >...
  534. "Just in case, that wasn't you?"
  535. >"Go answer the door, you big goof."
  536. "Ugh."
  537. >Plod upstairs and throw open the front door
  538. >Fluttershy smiles up at you
  539. >In a clown costume
  540. >"A-ahem"
  541. >She begins dancing around madly, singing a song and honking her big red nose
  542. >Then she strikes a pose and a flower on her chest sprays water at you
  543. >"Ta daa! A-are you laughing?"
  544. >Glare down at her
  545. >You'd think she would have noticed half way through your act
  546. >"Anon? Who is it?"
  547. "Just a clown, Gr- uh, Rotey!"
  548. >"Should we ki- invite her in?"
  549. "That's a horrible id-"
  550. >Fluttershy's face has lighten up
  551. >"Oh my! I'd love to come inside you!"
  552. >What
  553. >"Y-your house, I mean."
  554. >She lets herself in
  555. >Oh shit
  556. >Run ahead of her and into your kitchen
  557. >Just in time to see Grubs lock herself in the basement, giving you a pained look and mouthing "good luck"
  558. >At least she's protecting the corpses
  559. >Fluttershy takes a seat at your kitchen table and smiles at you
  560. >Her nose wrinkles up
  561. >"Oh! There's umm... Quite a smell in here!"
  562. "Uhh yeah. It's the plumbing."
  563.  
  564. 14/?
  565.  
  566. >Neither of you say anything to each other for a few moments
  567. >Fluttershy breaks the silence
  568. >"S-so! Umm, w-what do you do?"
  569. "I'm a mud farmer, remember?"
  570. >"Oh yes! Sorry!"
  571. >She smiles
  572. >Then loses the smile
  573. >"What's a mud farmer?"
  574. "It's like... A... Rock farmer. But with... Mud?"
  575. >God, you're stupid.
  576. >"Oh! My friend Pinkie was a rock farmer!"
  577. >YOU GOT LUCKY, ANON.
  578. "Riiiight! And that's what I do! I farm. Mud."
  579. >Fake smiles all round
  580. >Fluttershy gets off her chair and walks up to you
  581. >"S-so a mud farmer must make a lot of money!"
  582. "Well, I-"
  583. >"So you have a big house!"
  584. >It's a tiny shack.
  585. >"And some spare room for... 'Extra' company?"
  586. >She winks
  587. "Don't you know I have a wife? I thought I made that clear"
  588. >"But she's not here right now!"
  589. "Actually she's in the-"
  590. >NO NO NO
  591. "Sheee's... In town!"
  592. >Fluttershy grins
  593. >"Then we're all alone!"
  594. >She takes a step forwards
  595. >"Out here..."
  596. >Another
  597. >"All."
  598. >And another
  599. >"Alone."
  600. >ROMANTIC COMEDIES DIDN'T PREPARE YOU FOR THIS KIND OF SCENARIO
  601. >Or did they?
  602. >You think back to some romantic comedies you watched in the past
  603. >"What's the deal with airline food?"
  604. >NOW ISN'T THE TIME, SEINFELD. YOU AREN'T EVEN ROMANTIC.
  605. >This kiss is romantic, though. Fluttershy's lips are awfully soft
  606. >...
  607.  
  608. 15/?
  609.  
  610. >Pull back, breaking the kiss
  611. >"Ohh~. Our first kiss! Wasn't that passionate, Anonymous? I KNEw that we were meant to be!"
  612. "Uhhhhh"
  613. >"W-we can start a family! You just ditch that smelly pony and move in with me!"
  614. "Uhhhhhhhh"
  615. >She drops her voice to a whisper
  616. >"We can even have... Sex"
  617. >She squeaks upon saying the word
  618. "M-me. Wife. Hav-"
  619. >"Yes! I WILL wife you, Anon! This day is a dream come true!"
  620. >Your front door opens
  621. >Grubs steps in, her burqa now on again
  622. >"Why hello there, living- Uh, I mean, loving husband! And Fluttershy too! How are you?"
  623. >Fluttershy blushes and steps back
  624. >"O-oh, I was just. Umm. Leaving."
  625. >She winks at you and whispers in your ear
  626. >"We can keep it a secret! Just you and me!"
  627. >She wink again and skedaddles out the front door
  628. >Grubs kicks it shut with a rear leg and tears off her headscarf
  629. >"What the hell, Anon? You're letting random ponies kiss you now?"
  630. "I don't know what happened! I swear!"
  631. >"You're so... BETA!"
  632. "YOU'RE NOT THE BOSS OF ME. YOU'RE JUST A MINION!"
  633. >"I'm more pony than you can handle, mister. You almost disrupted our operations. If I hadn't had come in, who knows what might have happened!"
  634. "Yeah, how DID you get in?"
  635. >"There's a trap door leading from the basement to the surface, behind the shack"
  636. >Oh yeah
  637. >That would have been easier to use for dumping the bodies in
  638. "Look, I don't like how this pony is getting close to discovering our plot. So let's just get it done, okay?"
  639. >Grubs smiles
  640. >"'Our' plot, Anon?"
  641. "My plot! MINE!"
  642. >Storm past her and into the basement
  643. >Grubs calls after you
  644. >"Anon, I'm hungry!"
  645. "THERE'S STUFF IN THE FRIDGE, YOU MONGOLOID."
  646. >...
  647. >"Oh my god there's stuff in the fridge! Why didn't you tell me this before!"
  648. "I JUST TOLD YOU!"
  649. >"Where are the apples?"
  650. "THEY'RE IN THE FUCKING FRIDGE!"
  651. >"You said there would be apples!"
  652. "JUST CHECK THE FRIDGE YOU... YOU... DOUBLE ZOMBIE."
  653.  
  654. 16/?
  655.  
  656. >You really suck at insults sometimes.
  657. >Grubs manages to find some apples and trots down into the basement, look pleased with herself
  658. >"So. Shall we get to work?"
  659. "Well no, we still need the other ingredients"
  660. >"You mean these?"
  661. >She walks over to a small box and brings it back, placing it on your desk
  662. >It's full of small vials and dead plants
  663. "How did you..."
  664. >"When you showed me the list of things we needed, I knew that I'd seem them somewhere"
  665. "But how?"
  666. >"I LIVE down here, you idiot."
  667. "Oh yeah."
  668. >Stare the ingredients
  669. "We can make it, now. The monster, I mean"
  670. >You're quiet for a while
  671. >"You okay, Anon?"
  672. "I dunno. You ever have second thoughts?"
  673. >"Nope. I'm 4 days old. I haven't had to time to have second thoughts yet."
  674. "You're a great therapist"
  675. >"Thanks, 'husband'"
  676. >Shudder
  677. "Don't ever call me that again"
  678. >"Aww, can't handle the thought of loving me?"
  679. "You're hideous"
  680. >"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder"
  681. "That's an excuse ugly people use to make themselves feel less ugly"
  682. >"You're not much of a looker yourself, mister hairless ape."
  683. >You bicker like this for 2 hours.
  684.  
  685. 17/?
  686.  
  687. "Weren't we supposed to be making a monster?"
  688. >"I'll get the plans, you get the bodies"
  689. "Why do I have to get the bodies?"
  690. >"Don't be a foal, Anon."
  691. >Sulk and drag the first body over here
  692. >Raise your bone saw and pink thread
  693. >Grubs returns and places the plans in front of you
  694. "Ready?"
  695. >"Ready."
  696. "Let's make us a monster.
  697.  
  698. >You work all through the day and all through the night
  699. >Hacking through bones, flesh and gristle, you steadily piece together a creature of horrific proportions
  700. >Unlike Grubs, this thing shouldn't be too self aware
  701. >You stitch on the final limb
  702. "Is... Is that it?"
  703. >"That was the last body part we had. I think it's ready."
  704. >You stare at the amalgamation of flesh and bone
  705. >It's basically a pony
  706. >Made of other ponies
  707. >It touches the ceiling, and looks like something out a Tim Burton movie
  708. >Pink thread holds it all together, making it look kinda funny in a way
  709. >But still terrifying
  710. >Grubs prods you
  711. >"We still need to add the mixture"
  712. >Reach for the hollow needle and jam it into where you put the creature's 25 hearts
  713. >Begin pumping the vile liquid into the monster
  714. >Watch it in silence
  715. >Grubs scratches her leg
  716. >You sniff
  717. >"You'd think it would be a bit more, exciting"
  718. "Gotta wait for it to move first"
  719. >"Alright"
  720. >Several minutes pass
  721. >Eventually, the liquid runs dry
  722. >"What now?"
  723. >Flick through your 'Necromancy for Foals' book
  724. "According to this, we need a massive jolt of electricity-
  725. >The creature moves slightly
  726. >Stare at it
  727. >Throw the book over your shoulder
  728. "Welp. Books have been wrong before"
  729. >Clear your throat
  730. "IT'S ALIIIIIIIIIVE!"
  731.  
  732. 18/?
  733.  
  734. >The monster shifts and groans as it comes to life
  735. >You look on with a huge smile on your face
  736. >It picks itself up off the floor and groans again, louder this time
  737. >"MEE... HUNGRY..."
  738. >Grubs laughs
  739. >"Awww. He's like a big baby!"
  740. >Nod
  741. "A big baby with a lot of killing potential!"
  742. >You clap your hands excitedly
  743. >"You look like a filly on hearts warming eve."
  744. "I don't care! This is so exciting!"
  745. >The beast shakes it's head
  746. >"ME HUNGRY. MASTER HELP?"
  747. >It even thinks that you're it's master
  748. >FUCKING. GOLDMINE.
  749. "Ahem, Yes! I AM ANONYMOUS, BEAST! I CREATED YOU FOR ONE PURPOSE."
  750. >The monster cocks it's head
  751. "WE ARE GOING TO DESTROY PONYVILLE!"
  752.  
  753. >The basement door is obliterated
  754. >A creature the size of the shack you're living in crawls out of it, you and Grubs riding on it's back
  755. >"MUST. CRUSH."
  756. "Ahahahah!"
  757. >Grubs has her hooves wrapped around your waist
  758. >The monster, you have now named "Jonathan" carries you into town like a noble steed
  759. >That has a limited vocabulary
  760. "YES, JONATHAN! ANNIHILATE THE LESSER BEINGS!"
  761. >Jonathan roars and crushes a house, the ponies inside, outside, and all around Ponyville are now screaming
  762. >A siren blares as your creature howls in excitement
  763. >It thinks that everything is a big game.
  764. >"LITTLE PONY GO SMASH SMASH!"
  765.  
  766. 19/?
  767.  
  768. >Bricks and other stones from the more courageous ponies bounce harmlessly off his hide, and only serve to send him into a more frenzied state
  769. >Due to his size, unicorns can't effect him with magic
  770. >Until, that is, a large purple bolt slams into his shoulder
  771. >Bits of bile and flesh splatter all over you and Grubs as a large hole is created in Jonathan
  772. >He roars, his rage enhanced to levels you cannot even imagine
  773. >A small purple Alicorn stands in the middle of the street just below you
  774. >A confident smirk on her face, and her horn at the ready
  775. >"My name is Twilight Sparkle! And I am here to-"
  776. >SPLAT.
  777. >Jonathan's leg pummels her into the dirt
  778. >He stamps on her body over and over again until she's a mass of bloodied meat sponge
  779. >You shrug
  780. >Not like anyone will miss her
  781. >Fucking Alicorns
  782. >He continues his rampage around Ponyville, shrugging off any other punishment and generally being a nuisance
  783. >You think about what you're going to have for dinner tonight while he tears down the town hall in a fit of bloodrage
  784. >His screams piece the smoke filled air
  785. >Grubs taps you on the shoulder
  786. "Yeah?"
  787. >"Guess who."
  788. >Feel another tap
  789. >Fluttershy is hovering next to you
  790. >Rub your eyes and blink
  791. "Uhh."
  792. >"H-hello again! It's me, Fluttershy! In case you forgot... Umm, listen, I know you're a teeny tiny bit busy at the moment, but I was wondering if you wanted to go out on d-date sometime? Maybe in my house? Right now?"
  793. >She blushes
  794. >Look back at Grubs
  795. "Is this pony serious?"
  796. >She shrugs
  797. >"Looks like it."
  798. >Fluttershy patiently awaits an answer, she ducks to narrowly avoid a flying piece of building
  799. >"S-so is that a yes?"
  800. "No. No it's not."
  801. >"Aww... Well that's okay. Maybe tomorrow then?"
  802. >She flies away, oblivious to the carnage around her
  803. >Jonathan cocks his leg over the ruins of the town hall
  804. "Hey, HEY! NO! BAD! DOWN, JONATHAN"
  805. >"ME SORRY, MASTER."
  806. >Grubs tightens her grip around your waist
  807. >"So what are we eating tonight?
  808. "I dunno. Apples?"
  809. >She rests her head on your back
  810. >"Sounds good..."
  811.  
  812. 20/20
  813. The End.
/FLUTTERRAPE/ Necromancer Anon

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