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[FLUTTERRAPE] Necromancer Anon

By Nebulus
Created: 2021-07-16 21:31:33
Updated: 2021-07-03 21:29:37
Expiry: Never
anonfluttershyocdarksafecomedy/flutterrape/

  1. 1.
    Originally uploaded to Pastebin: June 22nd, 2013
  2. 2.
    ---
  3. 3.
     
  4. 4.
    >Day Morbid in Equestria
  5. 5.
    >You are Anon
  6. 6.
    >Madman
  7. 7.
    >Wake up
  8. 8.
    >Shit, shower, shave
  9. 9.
    >Stroll over to the window and throw back the curtains
  10. 10.
    >A small town can be seen from it
  11. 11.
    >Ponyville, to be exact
  12. 12.
    >You hated going there, since you preferred your little cosy cottage
  13. 13.
    >Being a hermit was awesome
  14. 14.
    >Especially since the peace and quiet gave you ample time to work on your creations
  15. 15.
    >What creations, I hear you ask, dear reader?
  16. 16.
    >You walk into your kitchen and over to the large wooden door in the corner
  17. 17.
    >Several giant metal locks keep it nice and shut
  18. 18.
    >Wouldn't want the unfathomable horror that lies within to escape and wreak havoc upon the unsuspecting masses
  19. 19.
    >...Yet
  20. 20.
    >Grab a small burlap sack full of food off the table next to the door
  21. 21.
    >Gulp
  22. 22.
    >And undo all the locks
  23. 23.
    >The door creaks open
  24. 24.
    >The stench of death instantly fills your nostrils
  25. 25.
    >You're used to it though
  26. 26.
    >Walk down the steps and turn on the lights
  27. 27.
    >A hideous creature of insurmountable revulsion stumbles into the light
  28. 28.
    >It inspires fear into your heart
  29. 29.
    >Truly, you are a monster for creating such a vile and sinful creati-
  30. 30.
    >"Oh, hi, Anon. Is it morning already?"
  31. 31.
    >...
  32. 32.
    >You wish she would act more like a monster sometimes
  33. 33.
    "Mornin', Grubs."
  34. 34.
    >Grubs stretches
  35. 35.
    >Her front leg's stitches come undone and it falls to the floor
  36. 36.
    >You both stare at it
  37. 37.
    >"Uhh, you can fix that, right?"
  38. 38.
    >Huff and stroll past her
  39. 39.
    "Of course I can, you foolish minion!"
  40. 40.
    >"That was uncalled for, Anonymous."
  41. 41.
    "...Sorry. But I'd like it if you at least TRIED to act like a brainless drone"
  42. 42.
    >Grubs sniffs, a worm pokes it's head out of her grey/green cheek before ducking back inside
  43. 43.
    >She takes no notice of it
  44. 44.
    >"Well I might act brainless if I wasn't completely aware of my surroundings. Which reminds me, can I go outside now?"
  45. 45.
    "NO! You aren't ready."
  46. 46.
    >"For what?"
  47. 47.
    "I'm going to turn you into a brutal killing machine, then unleash you on Ponyville and watch in glee as you butcher the innocents!"
  48. 48.
    >"Why?"
  49. 49.
    "Because when I first got here, they had a party and didn't invite me"
  50. 50.
    >She blinks a few times
  51. 51.
    >Her eye falls out
  52. 52.
    >You pick it up and pop it back in, then watch as it slowly rolls around back into it's original position
  53. 53.
    >"That's kinda foalish, Anon"
  54. 54.
    "S-shut up."
  55. 55.
    >"For an insane hermit necrolord, you're a bit... Beta"
  56. 56.
    "SHUT UP. HAVE SOME BREAKFAST"
  57. 57.
    >Throw the sack at her
  58. 58.
    >It's bloodied contents spill to the floor
  59. 59.
    >The intestines of a freshly killed animal pour onto the ston-
  60. 60.
    >It's cabbage, alright?
  61. 61.
    >You were too scared to kill an innocent animal, so you just stole a cabbage from some hick with a farm hat
  62. 62.
    >She was mad as hell
  63. 63.
    >Grubs chews on the cabbage in delight
  64. 64.
    >You walk over to your table and sit down to work on your newest creation
  65. 65.
    >Something more... Compliant with orders
  66. 66.
    >Grubs was the first attempt, she's only 3 days old.
  67. 67.
    >You dug her up from a nearby cemetery and worked your magic on her
  68. 68.
    >When she came around, she didn't know who she was, but was still capable of coherent thought.
  69. 69.
    >She finishes her breakfast and trots on over to you, looking over your shoulder while you sit on your tiny wooden stool and scribble some formulas on some paper
  70. 70.
    >She slowly swallows her last bit of breakfast and nudges you
  71. 71.
    >"Whatcha workin' on?"
  72. 72.
    "A new monster. Something that will blindly follow my orders and not answer me back like YOU"
  73. 73.
    >Prod her with your quill
  74. 74.
    >She smirks
  75. 75.
    >"So you want a slave? Wow, I didn't think you were into that kind of stuff"
  76. 76.
    "Shush. Or I won't reattach your leg."
  77. 77.
    >"When exactly are you going to do that?"
  78. 78.
    "When I deem you worthy enough."
  79. 79.
    >"..."
  80. 80.
    "I-I don't have any more string..."
  81. 81.
    >"You going to head into town and steal some again?"
  82. 82.
    "Yes."
  83. 83.
    >"When?"
  84. 84.
    "Right now"
  85. 85.
    >"Do it then"
  86. 86.
    "I will!"
  87. 87.
    >"Go!"
  88. 88.
    "I AM DOING!"
  89. 89.
    >You stand up and storm out of the basement
  90. 90.
    >"AND BRING BACK SOME MORE CABBAGE!"
  91. 91.
    >Slam the door shut and lock it
  92. 92.
    >Stupid fucking zombie servant not listening to orders
  93. 93.
    >Walk through the tall grass towards the town, the sun shining on your neck as you look at your feet while you walk
  94. 94.
    >Soon. They'll all perish soon.
  95. 95.
    >...That party looked like so much fun
  96. 96.
    >You reach the outskirts of town and start sneaking
  97. 97.
    >Make a break for the large clothes shop, which is luckily out of the way in terms of other buildings
  98. 98.
    >Dive into a bush and look around
  99. 99.
    >No one noticed you
  100. 100.
    >Reminds you of your romantic life
  101. 101.
    >Ha! Good one, brain!
  102. 102.
    >Aaaand now you're sad
  103. 103.
    >With a glum look upon your mug you peek through a window
  104. 104.
    >Observe the shop owner mill about, stitching this and that while seemingly singing to herself
  105. 105.
    >Watch her needlework intently
  106. 106.
    >You need to learn how to do that. Grubs' leg has fallen off 4 times in the short time she's been alive
  107. 107.
    >The damn thing just won't stay on.
  108. 108.
    >You're tempted to melt the skin together. Not like she can feel pain
  109. 109.
    >She might not approve of you attacking her with fire though
  110. 110.
    >Grubs may be a servant, but she's got a mean slapping hoof
  111. 111.
    >The shop pony exits the room, leaving a large spool of pink string on the floor
  112. 112.
    >You were told her name once, when you got here, but you've already forgotten it
  113. 113.
    >It's been like, a year since you got here
  114. 114.
    >You've spent most of that time fixing up the hut you found outside town and researching the wonders of necromancy
  115. 115.
    >But now is not the time for memories. It's the time for theft
  116. 116.
    >You sprint around the side of the shop to the front and burst through the door
  117. 117.
    >Grab the string
  118. 118.
    >Run your ass out of there before the pony can reappear
  119. 119.
    >"Hello? Is any pony there?"
  120. 120.
    >Too slow, shop-horse. You're like a phantom
  121. 121.
    >Chuckle and scurry towards the tall grass as you have done a hundred times before
  122. 122.
    >Turn and look back at the shop window
  123. 123.
    >The pony is looking confused
  124. 124.
    >Another successful heist
  125. 125.
    >You plod through the grass on the way back to your hut, clutching the thread spool in one hand
  126. 126.
    >The sounds of birds chirping accompanies you
  127. 127.
    >You lazily trudge homewards and pay no mind to the pony that steps out in front of you
  128. 128.
    >Wonder why the world is moving so fast
  129. 129.
    >Slam down on your front
  130. 130.
    >It knocks the wind out of you and your thread goes flying
  131. 131.
    >Rub your head and stand up
  132. 132.
    >Look at what you tripped over
  133. 133.
    >A small yellow pegasus is nursing her leg and looking sorry for herself
  134. 134.
    >She sees you and freezes
  135. 135.
    >You gulp, not sure what to do
  136. 136.
    >Not so stealthy after all, genius
  137. 137.
    >The pony slowly takes a step forwards, a nervous look on her face
  138. 138.
    >"Umm... H-hello?"
  139. 139.
    >Your eyes dart around for the thread
  140. 140.
    >Can't find it
  141. 141.
    >"I-is this yours?"
  142. 142.
    >The pony offers up the spool on her hoof, giving a small smile along with it
  143. 143.
    >Snatch it and nod
  144. 144.
    "Thankyougoodbye"
  145. 145.
    >Take off running back to your hut
  146. 146.
    >Grubs will be thrilled to hear about your conversation with the pony
  147. 147.
     
  148. 148.
    "So I says to her "Fuck you, you filthy pegasus. Why don't you go back to pegasusdale or whatever the shit that place is called". Fucking Pegasi, right?"
  149. 149.
    >Grubs' face is completely deadpan
  150. 150.
    >Ironic, given that she's technically dead
  151. 151.
    >"That never happened, did it, Anon?"
  152. 152.
    "N-no."
  153. 153.
    >She sighs and nudges her dismembered limb towards you with her muzzle
  154. 154.
    >"Could you please reattach my leg?"
  155. 155.
    "Fine, fine... Don't know why I bother talking to you anyway"
  156. 156.
    >"Because I'm the only pony you CAN talk to?"
  157. 157.
    "Shush."
  158. 158.
    >You sit down on your stool and lay Grubs over your lap
  159. 159.
    >She goes still and patiently waits for you to stitch her leg back on
  160. 160.
    >The worm from before makes a reappearance
  161. 161.
    "You gonna get rid of that worm?"
  162. 162.
    >"No. I like him"
  163. 163.
    "He's gross"
  164. 164.
    >"You're a terrible necrolord, you know that?"
  165. 165.
    "I'm better than you"
  166. 166.
    >"That's not... Whatever."
  167. 167.
    >You finish stitching the leg and turn to your undead minion
  168. 168.
    "Alright, Grubs. Here's the plan."
  169. 169.
    >Jab a finger at the papers on your desk
  170. 170.
    "If we're going to level this pathetic town and reforge it in undeath, we'll need these ingredients"
  171. 171.
    >She looks over the papers
  172. 172.
    >"I have no idea what any of these things mean."
  173. 173.
    >You look at the papers
  174. 174.
    >It's upside down
  175. 175.
    >God dammit
  176. 176.
    >Turn it the right way up
  177. 177.
    >"Ooooh, that seems easy enough. But uhh, I think this might be a problem."
  178. 178.
    >She points at your most critical material
  179. 179.
    >Peer at it
  180. 180.
    >Scrunch up your nose and look back at her
  181. 181.
    "And what -exactly- is so hard about getting hold of twenty five cadavers?"
  182. 182.
    >She gives you an "Are you actually serious" look
  183. 183.
    "You'll just have to go to the cemetery where I got you!"
  184. 184.
    >"...What do you mean 'me'?"
  185. 185.
    "You don't seriously think that I'm going to get my hands filthy digging up bodies, do you?""
  186. 186.
    >She scowls at you
  187. 187.
    >Pat her on the head
  188. 188.
    >Her eye falls out
  189. 189.
    >Push it back in her skull
  190. 190.
    "Good girl. Chop chop! Or I'll kill you and reanimate you."
  191. 191.
    >"You won't do that because you don't know how, you bloody ape"
  192. 192.
    >Ouch.
  193. 193.
    >"And what are you going to be doing anyway?"
  194. 194.
    "Getting the other ingredients of course! I'll have to 'neutralise' several targets in order to get them safely, though."
  195. 195.
    >"You're going to run into town and steal them again, aren't you?"
  196. 196.
    "Yes."
  197. 197.
    >"You're not going to hurt a fly, and are instead going to run around screaming if you get caught, aren't you?"
  198. 198.
    "Y-yes."
  199. 199.
    >"Alright then. When are we doin-"
  200. 200.
    >Knock knock knock
  201. 201.
    >You stare at your minion
  202. 202.
    "...Did you just say 'knock knock knock'?"
  203. 203.
    >"No."
  204. 204.
    >She turns her head slightly and raises an eyebrow
  205. 205.
    >"I... I think you might have a visitor"
  206. 206.
    >Your brain struggles to process this
  207. 207.
    "What should I do?"
  208. 208.
    >Knock knock knock
  209. 209.
    >"Probably answer the door."
  210. 210.
    "But I've never had a visitor! What should I say?"
  211. 211.
    >"I don't know! I've never left this damn basement!"
  212. 212.
    "Oh yeah. C-can you come up with me?"
  213. 213.
    >"What, so that if things go wrong I can take care of them and tick one cadaver off your list?"
  214. 214.
    "Well more as a sort of 'security blanket', but sure, that as well"
  215. 215.
    >She shakes her head and trots towards the stairs
  216. 216.
    >"The shit I put up with..."
  217. 217.
    >Push past her, laughing nervously
  218. 218.
    "Uhh, I think I'll take the lead, thank you very much, minion."
  219. 219.
    >She rolls her eyes
  220. 220.
    >Luckily none of them fall out again
  221. 221.
    >You walk upstairs and towards the door
  222. 222.
    >Your palms are sweaty
  223. 223.
    >Knees weak
  224. 224.
    >Arms are heavy
  225. 225.
    >Reach it and look back at your minion, who is looking at you from the top of the basement stairs
  226. 226.
    >She points a hoof at the door and jerks her head to the side
  227. 227.
    >Gulp
  228. 228.
    >Open the door
  229. 229.
    >Look down
  230. 230.
    >The pegasus is there
  231. 231.
    >Uh oh
  232. 232.
    >You both stare at each other for a good while
  233. 233.
    >A gentle breeze drifts on by
  234. 234.
    >Shuffle nervously
  235. 235.
    "Can I help you?"
  236. 236.
    >"Umm... My name is Fluttershy."
  237. 237.
    >She takes a step forwards
  238. 238.
    >"What's yours?"
  239. 239.
    >Look to the left
  240. 240.
    >Grubs draws a hoof across her neck then gives you a quizzical look
  241. 241.
    >Shake your head
  242. 242.
    >Turn back to Fluttershy
  243. 243.
    "Anonymous. And I don't want to buy anything. Good bye."
  244. 244.
    >Slam the door
  245. 245.
    >Lean against it
  246. 246.
    >Listen closely
  247. 247.
    >Hear a defeated sigh and the flap of wings
  248. 248.
    >Grubs tentatively steps out into the kitchen
  249. 249.
    >"Is she gone?"
  250. 250.
    "I think so"
  251. 251.
    >She looks around
  252. 252.
    >"So this is where you live... I thought it would have been dirtier"
  253. 253.
    "I'll have you know that I'm a very clean person!"
  254. 254.
    >"And since when did a necrolord concern himself with keeping things neat and tidy?"
  255. 255.
    >She looks towards your expensive dishes that you stole
  256. 256.
    >They looked nice and no one else seemed to want them
  257. 257.
    >Grubs snickers
  258. 258.
    >"Nice plates, oh lord-of-darkness"
  259. 259.
    "SHUT UP AND GET BACK IN THE BASEMENT, WHELP"
  260. 260.
    >"Nah, I think I'll stay up here. It's been ages since I saw the sun"
  261. 261.
    "Fine. Well you can at least help me create my monster while you're up here."
  262. 262.
    >"Sounds good. Wait, you wanted me to dig up bodies, so I would have come up here anyway. Why are you so concerned about me-"
  263. 263.
    "STOP POKING HOLES IN MY LOGIC. YOU WEREN'T SUPPOSED TO BE FULLY SELF AWARE WHEN I MADE YOU."
  264. 264.
    >"Why didn't you just kill me and try again then?"
  265. 265.
    "imscaredofblud"
  266. 266.
    >"What?"
  267. 267.
    "Nothing."
  268. 268.
    >You both head down into the basement and plan until nightfall
  269. 269.
    >Grubs' stomach growls
  270. 270.
    "How do you even get hungry?"
  271. 271.
    >"It's plant matter or you, milord. Choose which one or else I will"
  272. 272.
    "Okay! Fine! We'll steal some apples on the way to the graveyard"
  273. 273.
    >"So you're coming with me then?"
  274. 274.
    "I need to make sure you don't get the wrong kind of bodies"
  275. 275.
    >She squints at you
  276. 276.
    >"That's a terrible excuse. What's the real reason?"
  277. 277.
    >...
  278. 278.
    "No reason at all. Don't question my authority."
  279. 279.
    >She mustn't know that you're also scared of the dark.
  280. 280.
    >You both fetch some spades and head out of the front door, a full moon hangs overhead, occasionally being shrouded by clouds
  281. 281.
    >A cold wind chills you to the bone
  282. 282.
    >Grubs just seems thrilled to be outside
  283. 283.
    >"I forgot how nice it is out here!"
  284. 284.
    "Zombies can't appreciate beauty. Stop trying to."
  285. 285.
    >She sticks her tongue out at you
  286. 286.
    >It's all rotten and covered in scabs
  287. 287.
    >Eww
  288. 288.
    >The darkness is giving you the heeby-jeebies, so you pick up the pace towards the cemetery
  289. 289.
    >Grubs trots along behind you obediently
  290. 290.
    >"Isn't this nice? No one's giving each other orders. Just you, me, the moon and a plan."
  291. 291.
    "Ugh. Be quiet, or I'll give you an order."
  292. 292.
    >"You just did, then"
  293. 293.
    >God dammit.
  294. 294.
    >Reach the graveyard. Tombstones and statues cover the small hill
  295. 295.
    >Walk up to the peak and survey your surroundings
  296. 296.
    >Look down at a marked grave
  297. 297.
    >"Here lies Yellow Belly. Father, Husband, Beloved Coward"
  298. 298.
    "And now he's gonna be a monster."
  299. 299.
    >Drive your spade into the soft earth and begin the unholy harvest
  300. 300.
     
  301. 301.
    >5 hours and a lot of panting later, you and Grubs lie with your backs against a tombstone
  302. 302.
    >Look at the 25 bodies you managed to uncover
  303. 303.
    "Well, we did that in record time."
  304. 304.
    >"There was a record for digging up dead bodies?"
  305. 305.
    "Shut up"
  306. 306.
    >Grubs clicks her tongue
  307. 307.
    >"So how are we gonna get them back to the shack without anyone seeing? It's nearly dawn."
  308. 308.
    >Look around
  309. 309.
    >It does look like it's getting lighter
  310. 310.
    >Peer at your shack, located at the other side of town
  311. 311.
    >Critical mission error.
  312. 312.
    >Look around in a sudden panic
  313. 313.
    >Squint at something lying in the road
  314. 314.
    >Scramble to your feet and run down to inspect it, Grubs following you with a nonchalant expression
  315. 315.
    >"I don't think I've ever seen you run that fast bef-"
  316. 316.
    "SHUT UP."
  317. 317.
    >You run a hand over the wooden cart lying on it's side
  318. 318.
    >With some effort, you push it back on it's wheels
  319. 319.
    >Seems sturdy enough
  320. 320.
    >Turn to your undead abomination
  321. 321.
    "Alright, I have a plan. But it -might- be a bit risky"
  322. 322.
    >"Anon. This is insane."
  323. 323.
    "Shush! No one has stopped us yet!"
  324. 324.
    >You walk through Ponyville, pulling the cart behind you
  325. 325.
    >A large sheet hastily stitched together with pink thread and burial wraps covers the mountain of corpses in your cart
  326. 326.
    >2 fillies run around in front of you, laughing
  327. 327.
    >You feel your brow getting sweaty
  328. 328.
    >Glance at Grubs
  329. 329.
    >She's wearing something that looks like an Islamic burqa
  330. 330.
    >Only it's white, covered in dirt and smells like death
  331. 331.
    >You're half-way through the town, and the sun has just come up
  332. 332.
    >Ponies are early birds, so there are already a great number of them walking around minding their own business
  333. 333.
    >Your arms feel like lead from pulling this thing
  334. 334.
    >But it will all be worth it!
  335. 335.
    >God help you if you get caught
  336. 336.
    >"Hello there, Anonymous!"
  337. 337.
    >Freeze
  338. 338.
    >Look at the yellow pegasus, hovering next to you
  339. 339.
    >She smiles sheepishly
  340. 340.
    >"I don't think I've ever seen you around town before... W-would you like me to show you around?"
  341. 341.
    "Uhh, no, thank you. I know my way around quite well"
  342. 342.
    >Hoist the cart's handles to get a better grip and carry on pulling, your feet carrying you faster due to nerves
  343. 343.
    >Fluttershy doesn't let up, and flies after you
  344. 344.
    >"Would you like some help? I mean, if you want, that is."
  345. 345.
    "Quite fine."
  346. 346.
    >"I l-like your clothes..."
  347. 347.
    "Thank you."
  348. 348.
    >"But why are they covered in mud?"
  349. 349.
    >Look down
  350. 350.
    >You forgot that you're covered it mud, sweat and grime from your most recent cadaver heist
  351. 351.
    "Uhhh-"
  352. 352.
    >"We're mud farmers!"
  353. 353.
    >Based Grubs.
  354. 354.
    >Grubs hops down from her perch just behind you
  355. 355.
    >She walks up to Fluttershy and grabs her hoof, shaking it vigorously
  356. 356.
    >Fluttershy is clearly shaken
  357. 357.
    >"Oh-uhm. I-I, I'm Fluttershy..."
  358. 358.
    >Grubs laughs
  359. 359.
    >"Pleasure to meet you, Fluttershy! I'm sure you've met Anon before, I'm his... Uhh, wife. Rote Ing."
  360. 360.
    >Fluttershy cocks her name
  361. 361.
    >"That's a um... Odd name..."
  362. 362.
    >Grubs nods solemnly
  363. 363.
    >"Yes, that it is. My parents were..."
  364. 364.
    >She trails off
  365. 365.
    >Then looks at you
  366. 366.
    "They were... Crack addicts!"
  367. 367.
    >Both ponies stare at you
  368. 368.
    >Fluttershy is the first to speak
  369. 369.
    >"Umm. Crack?"
  370. 370.
    >Shit. They don't have crack in Equestria
  371. 371.
    "Oh yes, dangerous and horrible drug from far away. Made you crazy. They were addicting to the stuff and gave their daughter a rubbish name, haha!"
  372. 372.
    >Grubs catches on, and places a hoof on your leg
  373. 373.
    >"Yes! That's right! But Anon looked past that and saw me for who I am and so now we are husband and wife!"
  374. 374.
    >You both give Fluttershy the fakest smiles imaginable
  375. 375.
    >She's rather unnerved
  376. 376.
    >"Oh... Umm... Okay. Married? Oh..."
  377. 377.
    >She gets a glum look and flies away
  378. 378.
    >Grubs smiles up at you
  379. 379.
    >Well, you THINK she's smiling. Can't see because of the burqa
  380. 380.
    >"Nice thinking, Anon. We're on the home stretch. Now get us home."
  381. 381.
    "Yes, Ma'am"
  382. 382.
    >Pick up the cart
  383. 383.
    >Realise what you just said
  384. 384.
    "I mean, minion. SHUT UP!"
  385. 385.
    >Grumble as Grubs laughs at you
  386. 386.
    >Drag the cart all the way to the outskirts of the town, surprisingly, no one else bothered you
  387. 387.
    >Grubs looks back at the town as you leave it
  388. 388.
    >"Well I'll be. That wasn't so bad at all!"
  389. 389.
    >She takes off her headscarf. He rotting face on show to no one but the sun and the birds
  390. 390.
    >You can almost hear her smiling
  391. 391.
    >"H-hello again"
  392. 392.
    >You can almost hear her yelping and cramming her head back inside the cloth
  393. 393.
    >Chuckle
  394. 394.
    >Silly Grubs.
  395. 395.
    >Turn your head as you pull the cart up the path and look at Fluttershy
  396. 396.
    >"Um. I know you said that you're uhh, married. But do you think it would maybe be possible if you could be so kind as to consider maybe umm..."
  397. 397.
    >She starts getting flustered and flies off
  398. 398.
    >Look over at Grubs
  399. 399.
    >She shrugs and cautiously moves a hoof to pull off her headscarf again
  400. 400.
    >"Okay, I'll t-try again"
  401. 401.
    >Grubs lets out a groan
  402. 402.
    >Fluttershy, once more, hovers alongside you
  403. 403.
    >"Umm. I've been thinking about you ever since we met that day!"
  404. 404.
    "Okay."
  405. 405.
    >"I-it's like fate planted us on the same path!"
  406. 406.
    "Ya-huh"
  407. 407.
    >"B-but I know that your wife won't be too pleased. So umm"
  408. 408.
    >She moves in uncomfortably close, seemingly unphased by the smell of death surrounding you
  409. 409.
    >...Oh hey, that might explain why no one else came near you. And why people were shutting their doors and windows when you walked on by
  410. 410.
    >Awesome
  411. 411.
    >Fluttershy whispers in your ear
  412. 412.
    >"W-we could keep it a secret. D-does that sound like fun?"
  413. 413.
    >Remove a hand from a handle and push her away
  414. 414.
    "Sounds lovely. But I errr."
  415. 415.
    >Look over at the hideous zombie wearing a burqa, who is also probably laughing silently at you
  416. 416.
    "I... Love my... Wife?"
  417. 417.
    >As expected, Grubs snickers
  418. 418.
    >"I love you too, darling. Maybe we can have some fun tonight"
  419. 419.
    >OH GOD WHY
  420. 420.
    >You feel your stomach do a back flip at the thought
  421. 421.
    >Fluttershy's eyes widen
  422. 422.
    >"F-fun? Do you mean like..."
  423. 423.
    >She looks left and right then whispers again
  424. 424.
    >"Sex?"
  425. 425.
    >Grubs doesn't even hide her guffaw
  426. 426.
    >You sigh
  427. 427.
    "Yes. Sex. With my wife."
  428. 428.
    >Shudder
  429. 429.
    >Fluttershy blushes heavily
  430. 430.
    >"Ohmygoodness. I-I've never talked about sex before!"
  431. 431.
    >She moves in close
  432. 432.
    >"Umm. What's it like?"
  433. 433.
    >Hell if you know. You were hardly a womaniser back home
  434. 434.
    >Grubs is in hysterics
  435. 435.
    >"He-... Jusgimmieasec... He's a real monster in bed!"
  436. 436.
    >Fluttershy 'ooos'
  437. 437.
    >You feel your rage building
  438. 438.
    >Grubs continues
  439. 439.
    >"This one time, he was boning me so hard, I thought I would..."
  440. 440.
    >She squeaks and tries to compose herself for the incredibly predictable and unfunny punchline
  441. 441.
    >"I-I thought I would. DIE!"
  442. 442.
    >She thrashes around on the pile, screaming with laughter
  443. 443.
    "You know, DARLING. You're quite FUNNY."
  444. 444.
    >Grubs chokes on her own laughter
  445. 445.
    >"I-I know I am, dear! That's why I do it! After all, comedy is your fetish!"
  446. 446.
    >More laughter
  447. 447.
    >Sigh and look at Fluttershy
  448. 448.
    >She's giving you a bizarre look
  449. 449.
    >"It's... Your fetish?"
  450. 450.
    "Uhhh-"
  451. 451.
    >"I-is that what turns you on? Comedy?"
  452. 452.
    "I-"
  453. 453.
    >"Oh my... Umm. W-will you be at home later today?"
  454. 454.
    >Grubs descends into more laughter
  455. 455.
    >"Of course he will! He's a real basement dweller!"
  456. 456.
    >You spend a few seconds listening to her laugh
  457. 457.
    >Just then you hear a loud rip
  458. 458.
    >Grubs goes silent
  459. 459.
    >Smirk
  460. 460.
    "You alright back there, honey?"
  461. 461.
    >"F-fine."
  462. 462.
    "Good."
  463. 463.
    >Turn to Fluttershy
  464. 464.
    "Don't mind my wife. She's 'armless."
  465. 465.
    >Snicker
  466. 466.
    >"YOU'RE HILARIOUS, ANON."
  467. 467.
    >Fluttershy is just staring at you
  468. 468.
    >"S-so will you like me if I make you laugh?"
  469. 469.
    "I really don't think-"
  470. 470.
    >"G-gotta go. See you later!"
  471. 471.
    >And she's gone
  472. 472.
    >The shack is drawing nearer, though. So that's lucky
  473. 473.
    >Open the door and help Grubs down
  474. 474.
    "I told you to be careful with that thing. You nearly blew our cover!"
  475. 475.
    >"Sorry..."
  476. 476.
    >Wow. She sounds genuinely apologetic for once
  477. 477.
    >She smiles up at you
  478. 478.
    >"Hehe, blow our -cover-"
  479. 479.
    >She tugs on her burqa
  480. 480.
    >"Get it?"
  481. 481.
    >Shake your head
  482. 482.
    "Shut up and help me unload these things"
  483. 483.
    >You can't help but smile though.
  484. 484.
    >Finish unloading the bodies and storing them in the basement
  485. 485.
    >Dust your hands off and stare at the pile of bodies now resting in your basement
  486. 486.
    >Grubs is also looking
  487. 487.
    >"Shouldn't we like, store them in ice?"
  488. 488.
    "Ehh, they'll be fine. What's the worst that could happen?"
  489. 489.
    >"A bad smell?"
  490. 490.
    "Right! And it's not like anyone ever comes here-"
  491. 491.
    >Knock knock knock
  492. 492.
    >...
  493. 493.
    "Just in case, that wasn't you?"
  494. 494.
    >"Go answer the door, you big goof."
  495. 495.
    "Ugh."
  496. 496.
    >Plod upstairs and throw open the front door
  497. 497.
    >Fluttershy smiles up at you
  498. 498.
    >In a clown costume
  499. 499.
    >"A-ahem"
  500. 500.
    >She begins dancing around madly, singing a song and honking her big red nose
  501. 501.
    >Then she strikes a pose and a flower on her chest sprays water at you
  502. 502.
    >"Ta daa! A-are you laughing?"
  503. 503.
    >Glare down at her
  504. 504.
    >You'd think she would have noticed half way through your act
  505. 505.
    >"Anon? Who is it?"
  506. 506.
    "Just a clown, Gr- uh, Rotey!"
  507. 507.
    >"Should we ki- invite her in?"
  508. 508.
    "That's a horrible id-"
  509. 509.
    >Fluttershy's face has lighten up
  510. 510.
    >"Oh my! I'd love to come inside you!"
  511. 511.
    >What
  512. 512.
    >"Y-your house, I mean."
  513. 513.
    >She lets herself in
  514. 514.
    >Oh shit
  515. 515.
    >Run ahead of her and into your kitchen
  516. 516.
    >Just in time to see Grubs lock herself in the basement, giving you a pained look and mouthing "good luck"
  517. 517.
    >At least she's protecting the corpses
  518. 518.
    >Fluttershy takes a seat at your kitchen table and smiles at you
  519. 519.
    >Her nose wrinkles up
  520. 520.
    >"Oh! There's umm... Quite a smell in here!"
  521. 521.
    "Uhh yeah. It's the plumbing."
  522. 522.
    >Neither of you say anything to each other for a few moments
  523. 523.
    >Fluttershy breaks the silence
  524. 524.
    >"S-so! Umm, w-what do you do?"
  525. 525.
    "I'm a mud farmer, remember?"
  526. 526.
    >"Oh yes! Sorry!"
  527. 527.
    >She smiles
  528. 528.
    >Then loses the smile
  529. 529.
    >"What's a mud farmer?"
  530. 530.
    "It's like... A... Rock farmer. But with... Mud?"
  531. 531.
    >God, you're stupid.
  532. 532.
    >"Oh! My friend Pinkie was a rock farmer!"
  533. 533.
    >YOU GOT LUCKY, ANON.
  534. 534.
    "Riiiight! And that's what I do! I farm. Mud."
  535. 535.
    >Fake smiles all round
  536. 536.
    >Fluttershy gets off her chair and walks up to you
  537. 537.
    >"S-so a mud farmer must make a lot of money!"
  538. 538.
    "Well, I-"
  539. 539.
    >"So you have a big house!"
  540. 540.
    >It's a tiny shack.
  541. 541.
    >"And some spare room for... 'Extra' company?"
  542. 542.
    >She winks
  543. 543.
    "Don't you know I have a wife? I thought I made that clear"
  544. 544.
    >"But she's not here right now!"
  545. 545.
    "Actually she's in the-"
  546. 546.
    >NO NO NO
  547. 547.
    "Sheee's... In town!"
  548. 548.
    >Fluttershy grins
  549. 549.
    >"Then we're all alone!"
  550. 550.
    >She takes a step forwards
  551. 551.
    >"Out here..."
  552. 552.
    >Another
  553. 553.
    >"All."
  554. 554.
    >And another
  555. 555.
    >"Alone."
  556. 556.
    >ROMANTIC COMEDIES DIDN'T PREPARE YOU FOR THIS KIND OF SCENARIO
  557. 557.
    >Or did they?
  558. 558.
    >You think back to some romantic comedies you watched in the past
  559. 559.
    >"What's the deal with airline food?"
  560. 560.
    >NOW ISN'T THE TIME, SEINFELD. YOU AREN'T EVEN ROMANTIC.
  561. 561.
    >This kiss is romantic, though. Fluttershy's lips are awfully soft
  562. 562.
    >...
  563. 563.
    >Pull back, breaking the kiss
  564. 564.
    >"Ohh~. Our first kiss! Wasn't that passionate, Anonymous? I KNEw that we were meant to be!"
  565. 565.
    "Uhhhhh"
  566. 566.
    >"W-we can start a family! You just ditch that smelly pony and move in with me!"
  567. 567.
    "Uhhhhhhhh"
  568. 568.
    >She drops her voice to a whisper
  569. 569.
    >"We can even have... Sex"
  570. 570.
    >She squeaks upon saying the word
  571. 571.
    "M-me. Wife. Hav-"
  572. 572.
    >"Yes! I WILL wife you, Anon! This day is a dream come true!"
  573. 573.
    >Your front door opens
  574. 574.
    >Grubs steps in, her burqa now on again
  575. 575.
    >"Why hello there, living- Uh, I mean, loving husband! And Fluttershy too! How are you?"
  576. 576.
    >Fluttershy blushes and steps back
  577. 577.
    >"O-oh, I was just. Umm. Leaving."
  578. 578.
    >She winks at you and whispers in your ear
  579. 579.
    >"We can keep it a secret! Just you and me!"
  580. 580.
    >She wink again and skedaddles out the front door
  581. 581.
    >Grubs kicks it shut with a rear leg and tears off her headscarf
  582. 582.
    >"What the hell, Anon? You're letting random ponies kiss you now?"
  583. 583.
    "I don't know what happened! I swear!"
  584. 584.
    >"You're so... BETA!"
  585. 585.
    "YOU'RE NOT THE BOSS OF ME. YOU'RE JUST A MINION!"
  586. 586.
    >"I'm more pony than you can handle, mister. You almost disrupted our operations. If I hadn't had come in, who knows what might have happened!"
  587. 587.
    "Yeah, how DID you get in?"
  588. 588.
    >"There's a trap door leading from the basement to the surface, behind the shack"
  589. 589.
    >Oh yeah
  590. 590.
    >That would have been easier to use for dumping the bodies in
  591. 591.
    "Look, I don't like how this pony is getting close to discovering our plot. So let's just get it done, okay?"
  592. 592.
    >Grubs smiles
  593. 593.
    >"'Our' plot, Anon?"
  594. 594.
    "My plot! MINE!"
  595. 595.
    >Storm past her and into the basement
  596. 596.
    >Grubs calls after you
  597. 597.
    >"Anon, I'm hungry!"
  598. 598.
    "THERE'S STUFF IN THE FRIDGE, YOU MONGOLOID."
  599. 599.
    >...
  600. 600.
    >"Oh my god there's stuff in the fridge! Why didn't you tell me this before!"
  601. 601.
    "I JUST TOLD YOU!"
  602. 602.
    >"Where are the apples?"
  603. 603.
    "THEY'RE IN THE FUCKING FRIDGE!"
  604. 604.
    >"You said there would be apples!"
  605. 605.
    "JUST CHECK THE FRIDGE YOU... YOU... DOUBLE ZOMBIE."
  606. 606.
    >You really suck at insults sometimes.
  607. 607.
    >Grubs manages to find some apples and trots down into the basement, look pleased with herself
  608. 608.
    >"So. Shall we get to work?"
  609. 609.
    "Well no, we still need the other ingredients"
  610. 610.
    >"You mean these?"
  611. 611.
    >She walks over to a small box and brings it back, placing it on your desk
  612. 612.
    >It's full of small vials and dead plants
  613. 613.
    "How did you..."
  614. 614.
    >"When you showed me the list of things we needed, I knew that I'd seem them somewhere"
  615. 615.
    "But how?"
  616. 616.
    >"I LIVE down here, you idiot."
  617. 617.
    "Oh yeah."
  618. 618.
    >Stare the ingredients
  619. 619.
    "We can make it, now. The monster, I mean"
  620. 620.
    >You're quiet for a while
  621. 621.
    >"You okay, Anon?"
  622. 622.
    "I dunno. You ever have second thoughts?"
  623. 623.
    >"Nope. I'm 4 days old. I haven't had to time to have second thoughts yet."
  624. 624.
    "You're a great therapist"
  625. 625.
    >"Thanks, 'husband'"
  626. 626.
    >Shudder
  627. 627.
    "Don't ever call me that again"
  628. 628.
    >"Aww, can't handle the thought of loving me?"
  629. 629.
    "You're hideous"
  630. 630.
    >"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder"
  631. 631.
    "That's an excuse ugly people use to make themselves feel less ugly"
  632. 632.
    >"You're not much of a looker yourself, mister hairless ape."
  633. 633.
    >You bicker like this for 2 hours.
  634. 634.
    "Weren't we supposed to be making a monster?"
  635. 635.
    >"I'll get the plans, you get the bodies"
  636. 636.
    "Why do I have to get the bodies?"
  637. 637.
    >"Don't be a foal, Anon."
  638. 638.
    >Sulk and drag the first body over here
  639. 639.
    >Raise your bone saw and pink thread
  640. 640.
    >Grubs returns and places the plans in front of you
  641. 641.
    "Ready?"
  642. 642.
    >"Ready."
  643. 643.
    "Let's make us a monster.
  644. 644.
     
  645. 645.
    >You work all through the day and all through the night
  646. 646.
    >Hacking through bones, flesh and gristle, you steadily piece together a creature of horrific proportions
  647. 647.
    >Unlike Grubs, this thing shouldn't be too self aware
  648. 648.
    >You stitch on the final limb
  649. 649.
    "Is... Is that it?"
  650. 650.
    >"That was the last body part we had. I think it's ready."
  651. 651.
    >You stare at the amalgamation of flesh and bone
  652. 652.
    >It's basically a pony
  653. 653.
    >Made of other ponies
  654. 654.
    >It touches the ceiling, and looks like something out a Tim Burton movie
  655. 655.
    >Pink thread holds it all together, making it look kinda funny in a way
  656. 656.
    >But still terrifying
  657. 657.
    >Grubs prods you
  658. 658.
    >"We still need to add the mixture"
  659. 659.
    >Reach for the hollow needle and jam it into where you put the creature's 25 hearts
  660. 660.
    >Begin pumping the vile liquid into the monster
  661. 661.
    >Watch it in silence
  662. 662.
    >Grubs scratches her leg
  663. 663.
    >You sniff
  664. 664.
    >"You'd think it would be a bit more, exciting"
  665. 665.
    "Gotta wait for it to move first"
  666. 666.
    >"Alright"
  667. 667.
    >Several minutes pass
  668. 668.
    >Eventually, the liquid runs dry
  669. 669.
    >"What now?"
  670. 670.
    >Flick through your 'Necromancy for Foals' book
  671. 671.
    "According to this, we need a massive jolt of electricity-
  672. 672.
    >The creature moves slightly
  673. 673.
    >Stare at it
  674. 674.
    >Throw the book over your shoulder
  675. 675.
    "Welp. Books have been wrong before"
  676. 676.
    >Clear your throat
  677. 677.
    "IT'S ALIIIIIIIIIVE!"
  678. 678.
    >The monster shifts and groans as it comes to life
  679. 679.
    >You look on with a huge smile on your face
  680. 680.
    >It picks itself up off the floor and groans again, louder this time
  681. 681.
    >"MEE... HUNGRY..."
  682. 682.
    >Grubs laughs
  683. 683.
    >"Awww. He's like a big baby!"
  684. 684.
    >Nod
  685. 685.
    "A big baby with a lot of killing potential!"
  686. 686.
    >You clap your hands excitedly
  687. 687.
    >"You look like a filly on hearts warming eve."
  688. 688.
    "I don't care! This is so exciting!"
  689. 689.
    >The beast shakes it's head
  690. 690.
    >"ME HUNGRY. MASTER HELP?"
  691. 691.
    >It even thinks that you're it's master
  692. 692.
    >FUCKING. GOLDMINE.
  693. 693.
    "Ahem, Yes! I AM ANONYMOUS, BEAST! I CREATED YOU FOR ONE PURPOSE."
  694. 694.
    >The monster cocks it's head
  695. 695.
    "WE ARE GOING TO DESTROY PONYVILLE!"
  696. 696.
     
  697. 697.
    >The basement door is obliterated
  698. 698.
    >A creature the size of the shack you're living in crawls out of it, you and Grubs riding on it's back
  699. 699.
    >"MUST. CRUSH."
  700. 700.
    "Ahahahah!"
  701. 701.
    >Grubs has her hooves wrapped around your waist
  702. 702.
    >The monster, you have now named "Jonathan" carries you into town like a noble steed
  703. 703.
    >That has a limited vocabulary
  704. 704.
    "YES, JONATHAN! ANNIHILATE THE LESSER BEINGS!"
  705. 705.
    >Jonathan roars and crushes a house, the ponies inside, outside, and all around Ponyville are now screaming
  706. 706.
    >A siren blares as your creature howls in excitement
  707. 707.
    >It thinks that everything is a big game.
  708. 708.
    >"LITTLE PONY GO SMASH SMASH!"
  709. 709.
    >Bricks and other stones from the more courageous ponies bounce harmlessly off his hide, and only serve to send him into a more frenzied state
  710. 710.
    >Due to his size, unicorns can't effect him with magic
  711. 711.
    >Until, that is, a large purple bolt slams into his shoulder
  712. 712.
    >Bits of bile and flesh splatter all over you and Grubs as a large hole is created in Jonathan
  713. 713.
    >He roars, his rage enhanced to levels you cannot even imagine
  714. 714.
    >A small purple Alicorn stands in the middle of the street just below you
  715. 715.
    >A confident smirk on her face, and her horn at the ready
  716. 716.
    >"My name is Twilight Sparkle! And I am here to-"
  717. 717.
    >SPLAT.
  718. 718.
    >Jonathan's leg pummels her into the dirt
  719. 719.
    >He stamps on her body over and over again until she's a mass of bloodied meat sponge
  720. 720.
    >You shrug
  721. 721.
    >Not like anyone will miss her
  722. 722.
    >Fucking Alicorns
  723. 723.
    >He continues his rampage around Ponyville, shrugging off any other punishment and generally being a nuisance
  724. 724.
    >You think about what you're going to have for dinner tonight while he tears down the town hall in a fit of bloodrage
  725. 725.
    >His screams piece the smoke filled air
  726. 726.
    >Grubs taps you on the shoulder
  727. 727.
    "Yeah?"
  728. 728.
    >"Guess who."
  729. 729.
    >Feel another tap
  730. 730.
    >Fluttershy is hovering next to you
  731. 731.
    >Rub your eyes and blink
  732. 732.
    "Uhh."
  733. 733.
    >"H-hello again! It's me, Fluttershy! In case you forgot... Umm, listen, I know you're a teeny tiny bit busy at the moment, but I was wondering if you wanted to go out on d-date sometime? Maybe in my house? Right now?"
  734. 734.
    >She blushes
  735. 735.
    >Look back at Grubs
  736. 736.
    "Is this pony serious?"
  737. 737.
    >She shrugs
  738. 738.
    >"Looks like it."
  739. 739.
    >Fluttershy patiently awaits an answer, she ducks to narrowly avoid a flying piece of building
  740. 740.
    >"S-so is that a yes?"
  741. 741.
    "No. No it's not."
  742. 742.
    >"Aww... Well that's okay. Maybe tomorrow then?"
  743. 743.
    >She flies away, oblivious to the carnage around her
  744. 744.
    >Jonathan cocks his leg over the ruins of the town hall
  745. 745.
    "Hey, HEY! NO! BAD! DOWN, JONATHAN"
  746. 746.
    >"ME SORRY, MASTER."
  747. 747.
    >Grubs tightens her grip around your waist
  748. 748.
    >"So what are we eating tonight?
  749. 749.
    "I dunno. Apples?"
  750. 750.
    >She rests her head on your back
  751. 751.
    >"Sounds good..."
  752. 752.
     
  753. 753.
    The End.

[FLUTTERRAPE] Happy Birthday

by Nebulus

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