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[FLUTTERRAPE] Catch 22

By Nebulus
Created: 2021-07-16 21:31:33
Updated: 2021-07-04 14:37:30
Expiry: Never

  1. Originally uploaded to Pastebin: June 12th, 2014
  2. ---
  3.  
  4. >Something taps your leg.
  5. >Ignore it.
  6. >A few seconds later, another tap.
  7. >Grumble and glare at your newspaper harder.
  8. >A final tap, followed by a sharp pain.
  9. "Gah fuc-- Wait, did you just -stab- me?!"
  10. >Sweetie Belle beams at you, a bloodied sewing needle in her mouth.
  11. >She spits it out and squeaks some kind of strange ethnic language at you.
  12. >Further listening indicates she might be saying hello, but it's hard to tell.
  13. "Shut up, Sweetie Belle."
  14. >She does so.
  15. "...Now whaddya want?"
  16. >"H-Hi, Anon!"
  17. "...Hi. Any reason why you just stabbed me in the leg?"
  18. >"O-oh, did I do that? Silly me! Ha ha!"
  19. >Sweetie Belle is...
  20. >Awkward.
  21. >Wouldn't have thought it, really.
  22. >Rarity raised her to be a rather classy young mare, but as the years went by, her curious eyes and intelligent demeanour diminished in the face of something everyone goes through at some point.
  23. >Adolescence.
  24. >Glare at her.
  25. >Your eyes quickly dart to her cutie mark and back to her face.
  26. >She sees this and blushes.
  27. >"S-see anything you like?"
  28. "Not too fond of hearts and music notes, so no."
  29. >Her singing voice is, for the lack of a better word, amazing.
  30. >She'll go far in life if she hones her talents.
  31. >-If- she hones her talents.
  32. >But unlike Applebloom, who, at the shocking age of 15, had already started her own blacksmithing shop.
  33. >Or Scootaloo, who, in a bizarre turn of events ended up as a demolitions mare--
  34. >Sweetie Belle had forgone her Cutie Mark, deeming that chapter of her life "done" once she had received it.
  35. >So she now concentrates on her new obsession.
  36. >Boys.
  37. >Colts.
  38. >Disgruntled males.
  39. >Like you.
  40. >"So umm, how're things?"
  41. >She grins at you.
  42. >The sun catches on her braces and you wince.
  43. "They're fine, Sweetie."
  44. >Inspect your leg.
  45. >It feels worse than it looks; a light flesh wound, it'll scab over.
  46. >"That's so cool! Things are fine with me as well! Gosh, we have so much in common!"
  47. >God dammit.
  48. >All you wanted to do today was relax.
  49. >Rarity hardly ever gives you a day off.
  50. >It's bad enough living in her closet, but now you have to deal with her sister.
  51. >Sweetie inspects the walls.
  52. >"I like what you've done with the place!"
  53. >She runs a hoof over the paint, and tries to sound haughty.
  54. >"I for one would have gone for a beige colour rather than this sickening 'maroon', but then again I suppose it compliments the Feng Shui just fine."
  55. "The wall is yellow, Sweetie."
  56. >She bites her bottom lip hard and you can almost hear her internal screaming.
  57. >"Um, I knew that; I was kidding! Don't you like jokes? Gosh, don't be such a dork, Anon!"
  58. >Raise an eyebrow at her.
  59. >"Unless you like being a dork. Then that's cool! I love dorks!"
  60. >She blushes.
  61. >"D-do you love dorks?"
  62. "How the hell do you manage at school?"
  63. >At "school" she cringes.
  64. >Then sighs.
  65. >"I get by..."
  66. "You alright there?"
  67. >"Yeah..."
  68. >She pouts.
  69. >"Suppose I'm just waiting for that special somepony, you know?"
  70. "Uh, sure."
  71. >Sweetie steps forwards, her movements mirroring that of a drunk before she flops onto your lap.
  72. >You're sort of sat on the floor cross-legged.
  73. >Not much room for furniture in a closet.
  74. >"Oh Anon! Woe is me!"
  75. "Did you learn that one from Rarity?"
  76. >"...N-no-- listen! You -have- to do something for me!"
  77. >Great.
  78. >If Sweetie ever tries to get anything from you, Rarity won't allow you to say no.
  79. >It was one of the many conditions for you living here.
  80. >Granted, Sweetie hasn't asked anything -too- bad of you; most of her requests are inane things like "Tell me if I look fat in this, and be honest" and "Do you have a marefriend? You're not allowed to lie."
  81. >You're only a few years older than her, so maybe that's why she keeps pestering you.
  82. >Give a reluctant sigh.
  83. "...What?"
  84. >She smiles up at you, eyes sparkling.
  85. >Hang on a siggedy second.
  86. >Scramble to your feet, pushing her off you.
  87. >Spin around on the spot, searching for the tiny shelf that has your calender on it.
  88. >Grab it.
  89. "No."
  90. >Stare down in horror at Sweetie Belle, who's grinning from ear to ear.
  91. "NO--"
  92. >"Take me to prom!"
  93. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAA--"
  94.  
  95. "--NOT DOING THIS."
  96. >"Anonymous, -please-!"
  97. >Rarity glares at you.
  98. >"Need I remind you who puts a roof over your head and puts food on your table?!"
  99. "I don't own a table."
  100. >"...Floor!"
  101. >Sigh.
  102. "You do, Rarity."
  103. >She smirks at you.
  104. >Sweetie Belle stands behind her.
  105. >She's nice enough not to make faces or act like a massive bitch whilst Rarity shouts at you, but she knows she's about to get her wish.
  106. >"Now. It is only a single night; I am not asking you to -marry- Sweetie Belle!"
  107. >Sweetie visibly "hnngs" at the idea.
  108. >"I shall supply you with clothes, all I ask is that you show my sister a good time! That is all!"
  109. >Sweetie giggles and rushes off to do whatever the hell it is she does in her room.
  110. >As she leaves, Rarity watches her go.
  111. >A dark look crosses her face once her sister is gone, and she uses her magic to yank you down to her level.
  112. >"Make no mistakes, Anonymous; if she comes home teary eyed I will remove the bones from your body."
  113. >Her magical grip tightens.
  114. >"But if you even -consider- doing anything "dirty" with her, I'll gladly skin you and use you as a fashion item."
  115. "W-What kind of fashion item?"
  116. >Her eyes narrow.
  117. >"A cock-sock."
  118. >Your heart skips a beat.
  119. >"Am I making myself clear, Anonymous?"
  120. "Crystal clear, ma'am."
  121. >"Good."
  122. >She relinquishes her grasp on you.
  123. >"Now leave me be, I have to prepare your clothes."
  124. >Gulp, nod, and walk towards the door.
  125. >"Oh, and Anonymous?"
  126. >Turn to her.
  127. "Yes, Rarity?"
  128. >She wordlessly pulls a pair of scissors off a shelf with magic, levitates a thin roll of fabric up to them, and cuts the roll in half.
  129. >You don't hang around a second longer.
  130. >"Ohmygosh, this is going to be -great-, isn't it, Anon?!"
  131. "Yeah. Great."
  132. >Walk up the dirt road towards the school house.
  133. >It's been built up somewhat over the years, thanks to Applebloom.
  134. >There are a lot more buildings dotted around it, making up a complex of sorts.
  135. >The prom is being held inside the original building.
  136. >Stepping inside, you see that it's been cleared of desks and is now a sizeable space packed with ponies.
  137. >A low dance beat is thumping the walls, and ponies bounce up and down in an awkward teenage clusterfuck.
  138. >Sweetie can barely contain her excitement.
  139. >You can barely contain your balls.
  140. >They're squashed inside this tight suit Rarity put together for you.
  141. >' It's tight as a reminder. If you try anything with her I'll crush them. '
  142. >Shudder and immediately head for the punch bowl.
  143. >A foreign exchange student is stood next to it, his mane coming down over his face.
  144. >As is usually the case with alpacas.
  145. >"Woah, man, what's up?"
  146. >How the hell did he even see you through that?
  147. >"Check out this sick punch, bro."
  148. "Wh-what."
  149. >"Niiiiiice."
  150. "Who are you again?"
  151. >"Wooooooah!"
  152. >He trails off, mumbling to himself and making "whooshing" noises under his breath.
  153. >You think he might be day dreaming about surfing.
  154. >Fucking alpacas.
  155. >However, you do indeed check out the punch.
  156. >There's a bottle of pills between it and the alpaca.
  157. >' Gnarly Gnights - For the most tubular of date-rapes. '
  158. >Jesus.
  159. >You avoid the punch bowl and move onto the other refreshments.
  160. >"So did you want some punch?"
  161. >Jump.
  162. >Sweetie is stood at your side.
  163. >She's wearing a cute little thing that Rarity tossed together in the space of 4 minutes.
  164. >Literally just plucked a dirty towel off the bathroom floor, grabbed some drawing pins, a spool of pink thread, and somehow made a frilly red dress out of it.
  165. >Gotta give her credit, she's good.
  166. >"Umm, Anon?"
  167. "Huh? Oh, sorry, spaced out. No, don't touch the punch, Sweetie."
  168. >She grins.
  169. >"Aww, don't want me getting drunk and... S-saucy?"
  170. >She turns around and takes a step towards the alpaca and his ticket to fourth base.
  171. >Grab her up in your arms and carry her to the other side of the room.
  172. >She squeals the whole time.
  173. >No one notices because of the music and the general commotion.
  174. >Set her down and glare at her.
  175. >She's blushing furiously.
  176. >"Y-you're so strong!"
  177. "Thanks, but really, don't do that again."
  178. >"Oh. Em. Gee."
  179. >...
  180. >Fucking hell.
  181. >Sweetie's glee vanishes and she instantly becomes more withdrawn, looking at her hooves.
  182. >"Did you like, -seriously- bring -that- to prom?"
  183. >Spin on your heel and look down at the newcomer.
  184. >Diamond Tiara.
  185. >She snickers at the pair of you.
  186. "Oh. It's you. Where's Silver Spoon? I always thought she was prettier than you."
  187. >Diamond twitches slightly.
  188. >"She didn't come, she got sick."
  189. "Pity. What do you want?"
  190. >"Shut up, nerd; hey, Sweetie Belle, are you having a good time with this disgusting creature? Figures you'd bring him since you can't get a date with a normal pony."
  191. >Sweetie doesn't answer, she just looks at the floor, a sad look in her eyes.
  192. >"Hey, I'm talking to you!"
  193. "Well maybe she would answer if you weren't acting like such a bitch. Just fuck off, Diamond, no one likes you."
  194. >She simply laughs.
  195. >"No need to be so nice to her, Anon; I know she's the only mare desperate enough to fall for you but that's no reason to stoop to her level."
  196. "Wow. You're so pleasant and easy to talk to."
  197. >The mare sneers.
  198. >"I don't need your approval to do what I want, Anon. But what I can say is this: ditch Sweetie."
  199. >Sweetie Belle looks up, shocked and hurt.
  200. "I'm sorry?"
  201. >"You heard me. You may be disgusting, but you're like, the most interesting thing here. I want to talk to you in private."
  202. "Oh. Well sorry to piss on your cornflakes but that's not going to happen."
  203. >Look down at Sweetie.
  204. >She's smiling up at you.
  205. >"Th-thanks, Anon..."
  206. >The stereotype before you laughs.
  207. >"This is rich! Are you being serious right now, Anon?! You can do -so- much better than her!"
  208. "Weren't you saying that I was disgusting a second ago?"
  209. >"Shut up, monkey, come with me."
  210. "No."
  211. >Diamond Tiara glares at you, then turns tail and walks off.
  212. >Sigh and sit down next to Sweetie.
  213. >She rests her head against you.
  214. >"Thanks, Anon..."
  215. "S'alright."
  216. >Watch as Diamond disappears into the crowd.
  217. >The music increases in tempo, and with it, the volume of the crowd.
  218. >Sweetie doesn't seem too thrilled about matters.
  219. >Nudge her with your elbow.
  220. "What's up, Sweets? Aren't you happy to be here?"
  221. >Sweetie sniffs
  222. >"Sure, I guess; It's just Diamond."
  223. >Frown.
  224. "What about her? She's a bitch and has no friends, big deal."
  225. >"I know, but, that doesn't stop what she says from hurting..."
  226. >Snort.
  227. "Please, she's just--"
  228. >Sweetie looks up at you, her eyes full of crushed hope.
  229. >You bite your tongue, preventing you from finishing your sentence.
  230. "You really feel that bad, huh?"
  231. >She nods.
  232. >Fold your arms and readjust yourself in your seat.
  233. >For a while you both sit still, watching Sweetie's classmates dance away.
  234. >Sweetie sighs.
  235. >"It's just... Why me? What did I ever do to get Diamond Tiara's attention?"
  236. >You bite your lip.
  237. "You're uh... Prettier than her?"
  238. >"...What about my braces?"
  239. >Shrug.
  240. "Braces can be cute."
  241. >"And what about my um, weirdness?"
  242. "Everyone's a bit weird. People who say otherwise are liars."
  243. >Sweetie turns to you, blushing.
  244. >"That works, I guess."
  245. >She leans up and tries to peck you on the cheek.
  246. >Before she can, she sees something and retreats back to her spot.
  247. >"Aww, did I interrupt?"
  248. "Oh my. She graces us with her presence yet again."
  249. >Diamond smirks at you.
  250. >"Changed your mind yet, monkey?"
  251. >Look down at Sweetie.
  252. >She's avoiding looking at anything.
  253. >Glance back at Diamond, stood proud and wearing some cheap shit that Rarity would never pass as a dress.
  254. "You know what?"
  255. >Diamond raises an eyebrow.
  256. "Yeah, I'll go with you."
  257. >Sweetie's head twists up, the mare gawping at you.
  258. >"Wh... A-anon?"
  259. >Wink at her.
  260. "Come on, let's go."
  261. >Walk past Diamond, leaving Sweetie in a corner by herself.
  262. >She watches you go, tears in her eyes.
  263. >Diamond pushes past you, intending to lead and not follow.
  264. >Look over your shoulder at your 'date' and mouth the words "trust me".
  265. >As you pass the table, you nod at the alpaca.
  266. >Through some sort of weird telepathy, he nods back and slides a cup of punch towards you.
  267. >"Radical."
  268. "Stop saying that; it'll never catch on."
  269. >"Rrrradical."
  270. >Diamond leads the way out the school house and into the night.
  271. >She struts over to one of the buildings around the school.
  272. >You think this one is the sports hall.
  273. >Allow yourself to be dragged around the back of it.
  274. >Out of sight and out of earshot, she turns to you.
  275. >"So~"
  276. "So."
  277. >Set your drink on a water barrel next to a drainpipe.
  278. >"Nice night?"
  279. "You really trying to make small talk with me right now?"
  280. >"You're right, it's a waste of time."
  281. >She reaches up and plucks her tiara off her head, tossing it aside and messing up her mane with a hoof.
  282. >"Let's just get straight to it~"
  283. "What exactly do you think is going to happen here?"
  284. >She pauses.
  285. >"Anon, you know where this is going."
  286. "I know where you -want- it to go, but uhh..."
  287. >You glance back at your drink.
  288. "...I think I'll give small talk another chance."
  289. >Pick up your drink and sit on the grass, your back to the wooden panel wall.
  290. >Your companion huffs and sits down next to you, shuffling over so that her head is resting on your shoulder.
  291. >"Then I guess we can start again. Nice night?"
  292. "I guess. You uh, smell good."
  293. >She doesn't.
  294. >"Thanks~ I wore this for you."
  295. >Roll your eyes.
  296. "You've never even been interested in me; you're just doing this to get at Sweetie Belle."
  297. >She lets out a short laugh.
  298. >"You're right, I am."
  299. >Diamond turns her head to look at you.
  300. >"I want to make her know that I can take away anything she loves."
  301. >Give her a flat look.
  302. "Why? What has Sweetie ever done to you?"
  303. >Diamond shrugs, putting on an innocent face.
  304. >"Oh, I don't know~ probably nothing; I just like watching her squirm."
  305. >She develops a grin.
  306. >"Just like I want to watch you squirm~"
  307. >A hoof brushes over your pants.
  308. >You raise your drink to your lips, then pause.
  309. "I haven't had any in a while..."
  310. >Diamond's smile widens.
  311. >"Good! Then this is gonna work out well for both of us~"
  312. >She makes circles with her hoof over your pants.
  313. >"I get to ruin Sweetie's life and you get to cover my ass with your cum. Sounds like a great night to me~"
  314. >Force a smile onto your face.
  315. "Sounds kinda good when you put it like that."
  316. >Offer her the cup.
  317. "Want a drink before we get started?"
  318. >Diamond takes the cup from you.
  319. >"Oh, you're such a gentlecolt."
  320. >She takes a huge gulp from it.
  321. >Smile as she does so.
  322. >"So~ Let's take off those pants."
  323. >She starts fumbling with your belt buckle.
  324. >Help her out, undoing it and slowly unzipping your pants.
  325. >Diamond bites her bottom lip as she watches.
  326. >"Mmm... I can almost smell it~"
  327. >You stroke her face with a hand, bringing your lips closer to hers.
  328. >She closes her eyes, whispering.
  329. >"And I'm gonna enjoy riding your fat c--... zzzzz..."
  330. >Aaaand she's out.
  331. >Damn, that stuff works fast.
  332. >Snort and stand up, shrugging her off you.
  333. >Zip your pants up and empty the rest of the cup all over her.
  334. "God, I thought people like you were made up by Disney to scare kids, but here we are."
  335. >Nudge her ribs with a foot.
  336. >She's completely still.
  337. "Don't worry, I'll send someone to come and get you."
  338. >She drools in her sleep and snorts.
  339. >Stroll back across the grass to the prom hall.
  340. >Pushing open the door, you head for the punch bowl.
  341. >Though he doesn't even turn his head, the alpaca speaks up when you come into range.
  342. >"Hey, dudebro."
  343. "Hey. Behind the sports hall. Have fun."
  344. >You think you see a smile form under all that hair.
  345. >"Radical."
  346. "Still not catching on."
  347. >He shuffles out the door, and you go to find Sweetie Belle.
  348. >She's sat in her corner still, trying to seem fine when in fact her make-up is smudged from her crying.
  349. >Smile down at her, your hands on your hips.
  350. >After a moment she notices you, and peers up, her eyes still moist.
  351. >"A-Anon? Where's... umm... you know..."
  352. "Eh, she fell asleep."
  353. >Grin.
  354. "I swear it was an accident."
  355. >Sweetie studies your face carefully.
  356. >A few seconds later she smiles.
  357. >"O-oh... Oh!"
  358. >The mare giggles.
  359. >"That's... unfortunate."
  360. "Very."
  361. >Sweetie looks away at the dance floor.
  362. >You take a seat next to her and watch the other ponies for a while.
  363. >Glancing over at her, what she wants is obvious.
  364. >She's just too shy to ask you.
  365. >Rub the back of your head and try to forget everything you know about social reputation or dignity.
  366. "So uh... wanna dance?"
  367.  
  368. >The school house empties out, couples going their separate ways and quiet laughter filling the night air.
  369. >Sweetie is glued to your side, beaming from ear to ear.
  370. >You turn your head towards the sports hall in the distance as you walk down the path.
  371. >Two shapes are shrouded in shadow.
  372. >One of them is moving their hips rhythmically.
  373. >Fucking foreigners.
  374. >"So did you have a great night?"
  375. >Ponder this for a moment.
  376. "Yeah, I guess I did."
  377. >Sweetie is quiet for a moment.
  378. >"Good! Let's um, go this way, I wanna show you something."
  379. >Shrug and follow her.
  380. >She takes you over to some trees off the beaten path.
  381. >Once you're both surrounded by thick trunks, she rears up on her hind legs, placing her forehooves against a tree and showing you what lurks beneath her dress.
  382. >"D-do you wanna do it?"
  383. >You watch her back legs.
  384. >She moves around slightly, and a thin twig gets snapped underhoof.
  385. >Your face goes pale.
  386. "Uh, no; n-no, I don't, never."
  387. >Sweetie turns back to you, her lips quivering.
  388. >...
  389. >Her mouth lips, genius.
  390. >"N-never?"
  391. >Uh oh.
  392. >"B-but we had such a great night! A-and couples are supposed to do this on prom night!"
  393. >Back away from her, your hands held up.
  394. "Woah now, not -every- couple, Sweetie."
  395. >"But why not?!"
  396. >She stomps her hoof, snapping another twig.
  397. >You cringe.
  398. >"Am I n-not good looking?!"
  399. "You look great!"
  400. >"Then why not?!"
  401. "Because your sister will do things to me if I do!"
  402. >She stares at you, unblinking.
  403. >Her face contorts.
  404. >"YOU MEAN YOU'RE SCREWING MY -SISTER-?!"
  405. "What, no! No! I mean she'll--"
  406. >"NO! You're NOT doing this to me, Anon!"
  407. >Oh god oh god oh god.
  408. >"I waited years for this! -Years-!"
  409. >The waterworks come again.
  410. >"A-All I ever wanted from you was -something- to show that you cared!"
  411. "We've been living together for years! Of course I care!"
  412. >"Then prove it!"
  413. "Fine! I'll kiss you, will that help?"
  414. >"NO!"
  415. >This whole time, Sweetie was backing you up further into the trees, away from the path.
  416. >"You kissed me three and a half years ago when we were playing spin the bottle at Applebloom's place while she was in the bathroom; you were wearing a purple shirt and white pants and I was wearing a cute red bow I had Rarity make me just for that one NIGHT!"
  417. >Well that wasn't creepy in the slightest.
  418. >"I want -more-, Anon. And if you don't, I'll tell Rarity that you ruined my prom night!"
  419. >Shit.
  420. "But if I do anything with you she'll kill me!"
  421. >"She doesn't have to find out!"
  422. "She always finds out-- IT'S RARITY!"
  423. >"I don't care! Just give me this one thing, Anon!"
  424. "I give you loads of things!"
  425. >Your back hits a tree.
  426. >"Give me something that has -meaning- then!"
  427. "Oh come on, wasn't that perfume good enough?!"
  428. >"The perfume I'm wearing now, you mean? I don't know, Anon, is it good enough? Does it make me any more attractive to you?!"
  429. "I already said that you're attrac--"
  430. >She stands up again and places her hooves on either side of you, trapping you against the tree.
  431. >You could, of course, push her off.
  432. >But then again, Rarity would obliterate you.
  433. >You could also go along with her.
  434. >But then again, Rarity would castrate you, -then- obliterate you.
  435. "Come on, Sweetie, I took care of Diamond for you!"
  436. >"...I-I know, and thank you for doing that for me."
  437. >She sighs and gazes up at you.
  438. >Even on her hind legs her face only reaches your chin.
  439. >"...You're the only guy I like, Anon..."
  440. >She sniffs.
  441. >"No one else appeals to me but you..."
  442. "I gathered, but is raping me in the woods really the best way to make me like you?"
  443. >She giggles and blushes.
  444. >"I dunno... It might be fun to do naughty things in the woods at night with your marefriend~"
  445. "Woah, hey, we're not dating."
  446. >"We are now, or else Rarity might hear bad things about tonight."
  447. >...
  448. "Are you... You're blackmailing me, aren't you."
  449. >She nods happily.
  450. >"Uh huh!"
  451. "Fuck."
  452.  
  453. >"So, how did it go, Anonymous?"
  454. >Rarity sizes you up.
  455. >"Your clothes seem... Messy."
  456. "Oh, I tripped up on the way home. Sweetie found it uhh, hilarious."
  457. >Sweetie struts past behind Rarity, her own dress scuffed up.
  458. >Your eyes watch her rear shake from side to side as she walks.
  459. >Rarity moves into your vision.
  460. >"Something you want to tell me, Anonymous?"
  461. >Stare at her eyes, sweating.
  462. "N-no."
  463. >"I hope you're not lying, Anonymous."
  464. >Sweetie returns to the room, no longer wearing her dress.
  465. >She waves at you behind Rarity's back and runs a hoof over her curves.
  466. >Your forehead becomes torrential.
  467. "O-Of course not. Everything is fine."
  468. >Sweetie skips past, humming.
  469. >"Everything's fine, sis~!"
  470. >Rarity snorts and gets out of your face.
  471. >She strolls back up to her inspiration room and shuts the door.
  472. >Sweetie rushes over to you, excitement clear in her features.
  473. >"Sooo, what do you want to do now, coltfriend?~"
  474. "I'm going to sleep."
  475. >"Oh! Good idea!"
  476. "Alone."
  477. >Sweetie scrunches her face up.
  478. >"RARI--"
  479. >Clamp your hand over her mouth and drag her to your closet, shutting the door behind you and turning off the lights.
  480. >Fucking Sweetie Belle.
  481.  
  482. The End.

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