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[ANON IN EQUESTRIA] Queen Sombra
By NebulusCreated: 2021-07-16 21:31:33
Updated: 2021-07-04 17:58:34
Expiry: Never
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Originally uploaded to Pastebin: January 18th, 2015
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Wrote this for a thread centred around a female version of King Sombra.
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It's not exactly Rule 63, but more of a spin on the canon depiction of Sombra.
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Hope you enjoy it, it was fun to write.
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"You're sending me to do what?"
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>Celestia nods solemnly.
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>"This is a grave task that only you can accomplish. Right, Luna?"
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>Luna lets out a disinterested "uh huh" and continues openly flipping through her porn magazine.
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"Yeah, but, assassination?"
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>"Come on, it'll be easy, Sombra's a pussy anyway."
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>Luna nods.
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>"Verily, he art a sizable vagina."
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"B-but I'm an ambassador, not an assassin! Hell, I'm not even an ambassador, you just pay me to represent my people!"
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>Celestia jabs you in the shoulder.
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>"Don't be a wuss, Anon. You're just going to the Crystal Empire, pretending to be his friend or ally or whatever, then sticking a dagger in his belly. What's hard about that?"
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"Well killing someone, for starters, second, what did he do to deserve it?"
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>"He owes me money, and also he stole the Empire away from Cadence or something. But mostly he owes me money."
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"Christ, well when do I start?"
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>"Right now! Come along, game faces on, this'll be a quick adventure."
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"When can I expect to be back?"
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>"I dunno, train ride is like a day, then you can spend four hours or whatever getting close to Sombra, then you shank the fucker and be back home for Wednesday."
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>Luna grunts.
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>"Be sure to kick him in the balls once you're through."
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>She blinks a few times.
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>"Uhh, verily."
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>Celestia nods sagely.
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>"The ball kicking is important."
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"...Why?"
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>"It's a symbol of Equestrian might. We kick all our enemies in the balls."
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"That seems juvenile."
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>"And yet I'm the immortal sun goddess with a nation under her hoof, what have you accomplished lately?"
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>Luna snorts.
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>"Being a dork."
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>Celestia guffaws at this and hoofbumps her sister.
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>"Alright, Anon, let's get you to the train station."
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"W-wait, aren't I allowed to take anything?"
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>"Nope. No time, Equestria hangs in the balance or something to that effect."
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>She starts pushing you out the room.
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"Can't I at least take my tooth brush?!"
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>"I'm sure you'll look super imposing showing up to the Crystal Empire clutching nothing but a toothbrush. NOW GO!"
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>Huff to yourself as you watch the snowy landscape zip by past your carriage window.
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>The train is deserted apart from you.
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>You think the conductor might even have hopped off.
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>Craning your neck, you look into the driver's cabin.
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>A 'be right back' note is taped to the controls.
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>Sigh.
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>Maybe this won't be so bad.
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>You're only going to kill a tyrant.
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>With absolutely no formal training, experience or even motivation to do so.
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>You can pretty much expect to die here.
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>Didn't even get to say goodbye to your favourite pony.
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>Pony Joe.
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>You see a large gleaming spire rise over the horizon.
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>That must be the empire.
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>You've never been before, but you've heard tales of how nice it is this time of year.
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>Take another quick glance at the frozen desolation around you.
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>Yup, sure is lovely.
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>The train pulls into the station and you stand up, rubbing your eyes and preparing to meet your death.
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>Hey, maybe Sombra will go easy on you.
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>Perhaps you can appeal to his good nature.
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>If he even has one.
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>You pull a picture out of your pocket and unfold it.
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>A jet black, red horned, psychotic-looking unicorn in a regal gown cackles whilst lightning strikes around him.
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>Would he like sports? He looks like he might like sports.
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>Step off the train as it comes to a stop.
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>Around you you're surrounded by hundreds of... absolutely nothing.
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>The platform is dead.
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>You can't even hear the wind.
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>Looking around, you see that there's a sort of artificial eco-sphere set up around the empire, because everything is lush, green, and warm.
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>Frowning, you scratch your face and head towards the exit.
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>There has to be someone around here.
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>Yet as you reach the streets of the Crystal Empire, nothing changes.
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>You peer through various windows, but see no cowering citizens like you expected.
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>It seems as though the whole empire is a ghost town.
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>Spooky.
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>Push on towards the massive spire that towers above the houses.
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>If you weren't here to perform an execution, you might find this quite nice.
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>Stand beneath the spire and glance around.
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>You see an entrance snaking up to the spire, but there's no one guarding it.
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>Shrug and let yourself in.
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>The whole situation is so surreal that you ask out of instinct:
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"Hello? Anyone home? Your front door was unlocked!"
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>Your voice echoes back at you.
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>Pick a random direction and start walking.
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>An evil tyrant would probably hang out in the throne room, right?
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>Stick your hands in your pockets and whistle as you walk.
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>Admire the architecture.
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>Everything is made of crystal.
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>Even the flowers.
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>You pass into a large hallway, and a pair of great double doors lie at the end.
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>They're slightly open.
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>Briskly walk over and poke your head through the door to see--
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>"HEY!"
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"OHGOD."
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>Leap backwards, tripping over yourself as you do so.
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>You fall to the floor, banging your back hard against the crystalline surface.
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>There's no time to rest, however, as King Sombra herself is immediately all over you.
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>"Who are you?! How did you get in? Who sent you? Are you hurt? Why are you so weird looking?"
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>You bat your hands at her and try to fend her off.
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>Yet as your hands push at her fluffy chest and force the overbearing unicorn away from you, you pause.
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>Sombra glares at you, her eyes filled with cautious anticipation.
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>Slowly, you reach into your pocket and retrieve your picture.
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>Unfold it and compare it to the mare before you.
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>Same colour scheme, same red horn, same clothing, same look of extreme mania.
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>But...
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"Wait, you're a mare?"
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>Sombra stares at you, then gives an indignant huff.
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>"Of course I'm a mare! I'm Queen Sombra! Terror of the Crystal Empire!"
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"...Oh."
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>The queen's eyes narrow.
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>"What, you were expecting something more? Am I not scary enough for you?"
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"No no, it's not that, I just, uhh, I was told you were a stallion."
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>"By who? It wasn't Celestia was it? Are you an assassin here to kill me?!"
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>She presses her face close to you, so that her nose is touching yours.
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>Her scrunched face and glare are enough to shut you up.
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"N-No! I'm here to... visit?"
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>Sombra eyes you for a second.
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>"Visit."
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"Yes."
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>"From where?"
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"Canterlot?"
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>"So Celestia -did- send you to kill me?"
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"No, I'm just, uhh, President of the Sombra Fanclub."
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>What the fuck are you talking about.
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>Sombra blinks a few times, then smirks.
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>"The president of my own fanclub doesn't know what gender I am?"
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"W-well to be fair, you don't exactly show up much."
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>"No, I don't."
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>She fixes her mane with a hoof.
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>"I'm far too busy to attend such trivial things, but I appreciate the time you took to visit me."
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>She puts on a haughty expression.
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>"Tell me, how many legions of fans do I have in Canterlot?"
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"Oh. Um, well it's just ahh, me."
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>...
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>Sombra looks crestfallen.
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"But I'm looking for new members!"
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>She deflates somewhat.
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>"Right, yes, of course."
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>The queen fixes you with her unsettlingly intense gaze again.
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>"I suppose I should be a gracious host and show you around."
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"Wouldn't the queen have a servant to do th--"
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>You shut your mouth quickly.
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>Sombra glares at you.
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>"Yes. Well. All my servants are busy with important royal matters at the moment."
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>In the silence that follows, you realise just how quiet the palace really is.
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>It truly is completely deserted save for Sombra.
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>You stand up and look down at the queen.
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>She seems perturbed by your height over her.
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>"You're too tall. Shrink."
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"I can't, ma'am."
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>She huffs and trots off down the hall, motioning for you to follow.
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>You follow her.
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>As you both walk, you think about what just happened.
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>She's alone in a castle, doesn't have any guards, is way smaller than you are, is good-natured enough to not kill you on the spot, and is now showing you around.
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>You get the horrible feeling that this is going to end in sex.
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>Paintings of various important figures adorn the walls.
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>Sombra sees you looking and tries to make small talk.
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>"You like the paintings?"
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"Yeah, who are they?"
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>"I have no idea. I only moved in two weeks ago."
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"...Oh."
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>"Not very in-the-know, are you... Uhh--"
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"Anonymous."
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>"Anonymous."
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"No, I'm not. How did you come to running the empire?"
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>"I merely showed up and every pony was so scared of me that they just ran away."
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"Really?"
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>"Yes. That's what happened. Stop asking so many questions."
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"So now that you have the empire, what are you going to do?"
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>"Run it, obviously."
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"Ah, good plan. But uhh, I didn't see... -many- ponies around. How are you going to gather wealth and power with so few followers?"
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>"Hopefully that fanclub of yours might be able to throw me together an army. How does three months sound? I want an army ready to go in three months."
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"Why do you want an army?"
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>"I'm a tyrant, idiot, it's what tyrants do. You know, they build armies and stuff."
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"And stuff."
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>"Shut up."
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>She pushes open a door and you find yourself in what looks like...
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"Is this a kitchen?"
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>Sombra pulls open the Royal Refrigerator and retrieves a Rich, Expensive and Hard-to-obtain Royal Beverage.
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>She cracks open the soda and sips on it.
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>"You want one?"
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>Nervously accept and pierce the lid, sipping the flat soda inside.
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"You're... Not really what I was expecting."
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>Sombra goes red.
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>"Yeah, well, why don't you just disappear like the others then?"
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>Sit down on a chair.
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>Sombra glares at you.
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>You get an idea, and instead slide off the chair and sit cross-legged on the floor.
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>This brings you to eye-level with Sombra.
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"I think I'll stay."
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>She seems pleased with this and sits herself down as well.
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>"Good. I need more slaves."
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"Slaves?"
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>"Yes. I need slaves to build my empire."
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>Look around you.
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"Empire already seems built."
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>"Shut up, you don't know what it's like, running a nation."
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>You scratch your face in thought.
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"Soo... What -is- it like?"
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>She gazes blankly at the soda in her hooves.
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>"It's... Nice."
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>Frown.
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"Just nice?"
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>"Look, you came at a bad time, alright? It's a transitional period, I haven't got everything set up yet."
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>She gulps down some flat soda.
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>"Come back in a month, and there'll be black-armour-clad guards marching these halls, legions of servants fulfilling my every wish, and foreign nations will be tripping over themselves to pay tribute to me!"
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>She angrily drinks more 'Fruity Punch' soda.
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>"You'll see, Anonymous..."
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>She leans back so that her back is resting against one of the table legs behind her.
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>"They'll all see..."
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>Sit awkwardly for a while, sipping on the gone-off soda and thinking about what to do next.
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>You're in a kitchen, and there are knives everywhere.
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>You could totally stab her right now and be done with it.
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>Yet some strange cosmic force compels you to sit still.
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>The thought yet again occurs that you're probably going to bang this mare.
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>"So."
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>Look up at her.
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>"What do you like to do for fun?"
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"I'm sorry?"
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>She goes red and asks again.
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"Uhh, well, reading. I like reading."
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>Sombra nods.
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>"Yes, yes, me too. I have a library, you know."
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"Really? Is it big?"
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>"It's huge. It's a -royal- library, see."
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"Oh, cool."
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>She gives you an unamused look.
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>"Well don't get too excited."
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"Sorry, it's just, uhh, I don't really know how to talk to royalty."
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>She shrugs.
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>"You've been doing well so far."
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>That's encouraging.
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>"Want to see it then?"
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"Sure, lead the way."
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>She stands up and gets two more sodas out the fridge.
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>"So, um, this might sound weird, but do you like adventure novels?"
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"The afternoon sun washed over the lands, shrouding all it touched in a silky orange glow. Firefall sighed happily as she could just about make out her home in the distance; the picturesque little village sat as happily as it always had on the side of the valley bowl..."
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>You are in Sombra's library.
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>For how long you've been there, you're unsure.
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>But you're both under blankets and reading stories by lamplight.
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>Sombra is curled up across from you, her red and green eyes flickering in the flame's light.
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>You finish the book and yawn.
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>Check your watch.
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>You've been here for hours.
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>Your throat kinda hurts from reading, and there are plates of food and empty drink cans scattered all around you.
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>Sombra is watching you with utmost fascination.
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>She'd taken off her crown sometime during your reading, and it lies forgotten on a small pile of chocolate wrappers.
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>Her mane is wild and unkempt, a stark contrast to the pristine state it was in when you first met.
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>She lazily plays around with an apple as you finish reading.
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>Once you do so, she smiles.
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>"That was... Great."
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"Just great?"
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>"Well, uh, passable, I suppose."
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>She sniffs.
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>"I used to have ponies read to me every night."
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>You raise an eyebrow at her.
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"You used to have ponies read you stories at night?"
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>"Yes?"
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"What, like a foal?"
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>She glares at you.
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>"If I wasn't so tired and full of chocolate I'd come over there and beat you like a dog."
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>She snuggles in deep amongst her blankets and royal gown.
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>It makes her look extremely cozy.
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"It's past midnight, do you want to sleep?"
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>"Sure, do you have a train you need to catch tomorrow? N-not that you can leave, or anything."
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>...
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>You briefly remember why you're here.
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>Sombra studies your face as you think.
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>It's not hard to tell that she's trying to figure you out.
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>Eventually, you stretch out and let out a satisfied noise.
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"Well I wasn't planning to go tomorrow. Didn't really plan my trip home yet."
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>Which in a way is true.
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>Sombra develops a small smile at this.
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>"Oh. Good."
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>She stands up, trying to keep the blankets close to her.
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>The air in the library is chilly, though, and she quickly sits down again.
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>"Ugh, I hate how cold it gets around here."
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"Can't you heat the place up a bit?"
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>"The old owners used to have enchantments that kept the place warm no matter what."
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"And you can't do that?"
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>"I don't know the spells for it. The eco-dome outside is fine, but the central heating isn't."
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"Maybe it's in one of these books?"
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>"Maybe."
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"Don't you want to find out?"
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>Sombra yawns.
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>"I just want to sleep at the moment."
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>You give her a curious look.
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"What exactly have you been doing these last few weeks?"
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>"Just... Planning."
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"Planning for your armies, right?"
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>"Of course."
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"And not sitting around eating whatever you find in the fridge."
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>"...Of course."
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>She rests her chin on the floor.
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"Not going to bed?"
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>"Too tired and cold."
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"Wow, some tyrant you are."
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>"Just because I'm not what you would consider the ideal tyrant, doesn't mean that I'll put up with your sass, Anonymous."
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"Oof, sorry."
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>"Mmph. You'd better be..."
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"You alright?"
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>"Yes yes, just tired..."
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>She closes her eyes and lets out a final, deep sigh.
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>After a few seconds, you can hear her delicate snores drifting past your ears.
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>You watch the sleeping mare for a good minute.
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>This is it.
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>You could kill her right now.
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>Crush her throat?
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>Snap her neck?
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>...
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>You look away from the queen and flip onto your back.
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>Stare at the ceiling.
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>You're not kidding anyone, Anon.
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>You aren't a killer. Not even close.
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>No way in hell are you killing someone you just met, least of all someone as sorry-looking as Sombra.
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>Glance at her again.
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>She looks troubled when she sleeps.
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>Every so often she'll shift uncomfortably.
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>Looking over her body, you see that one of her back legs is exposed.
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>Readjusting yourself, you feel the cold air rush in for a moment.
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>You don't blame her for shifting; the air is freezing.
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>Shuffle over to her and gently wrap your fingers around her leg.
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>Carefully slide it under her gown, then cover the gown in her blanket, making sure that none of her is exposed.
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>"What are you doing?"
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>You flinch and look at her.
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>She's sat up slightly, her eyes glowing with ethereal light in the darkness.
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"You looked cold, so I just, ah, moved your leg under the blanket."
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>Sombra fixes you with her signature stare.
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>Then gives you a small nod.
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>"Thank you."
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>She beckons for you to come closer.
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>"Lie with me."
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"Huh?"
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>"We'll be warmer that way."
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"We could always find a bed--""
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>"Lie. With. Me."
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"Right, yeah, got it."
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>You settle down next to her and get comfy.
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>She closes her eyes again and is asleep in seconds.
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>You can smell her from here.
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>She smells... quite musty, actually.
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>Hardly 'smelling of lavender and vanilla' like the ponies back in Canterlot often do.
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>Unwashed, even.
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>You wonder if she's figured out where the shower is yet in this palace.
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>Regardless, you get comfortable on your back and close your eyes.
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>Never thought the day would end up like this.
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>And with that, you drift off to sleep.
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>Your eyes creak open.
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>The first thought in your mind is how much warmer it is.
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>Sunlight streaks through the arched windows, catching the floating dust and illuminating the library.
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>A muffled groan makes you glance at the sleeping form next to you.
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>Sombra's faintly glowing eyes flutter open and she groggily studies you with early morning confusion.
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>"Snrrrrgg... Crryyyystlllss..."
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"What."
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>She smacks her lips and raises her head from the floor, about to reply.
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>Then pauses.
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>Look down at where she's staring.
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>You didn't even notice it, but sometime in the night, Sombra's hoof had escaped the confines of her blankets.
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>The same happened to your arm, and your fingers were lightly resting against her hoof.
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>Both you and Sombra quickly pull your respective limbs back to each other and regard one another with caution.
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>"Were you touching me last night?"
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"I don't know, did you try anything funny?"
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>"Do I look like I make a lot of jokes?"
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"I don't even know who you are."
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>She huffs and stands up, shedding her blankets.
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>The tyrant grunts at the sight of the books, wrappers, plates and glasses.
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>"Look at this mess... Who's going to clean this up?"
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"You, presumably, it's your palace."
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>"Ugh, such disrespect. You're lucky I need you here to carry out my orders."
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"Say what now."
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>"Last night you told me you had no plans to leave, and I need help cleaning up the palace."
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"But that's not what I'm here to d--"
-
382.
>"Silence, you will do this for me or I shall destroy you."
-
383.
>Give her a flat look.
-
384.
"I don't think you will."
-
385.
>Sombra looks aghast.
-
386.
>"How -dare- you! I brought this empire to its knees! You really think you can stand up to me?!"
-
387.
"Yes."
-
388.
>"Such insolence. Fine! Be that way! I shall grant you ten seconds to run before I obliterate you where you stand!"
-
389.
>Her horn lights up.
-
390.
>You stand your ground.
-
391.
>She begins counting down.
-
392.
>Fold your arms and wait for her to finish.
-
393.
>"Three. Two. ...ONE!"
-
394.
>A violent blast of red magic slams into your chest, sending you flying head over heels backwards.
-
395.
>You roll several times and come to an abrupt stop at the foot of a wooden bookcase.
-
396.
>To your horror, your weight was enough to knock a few books off the shelves above.
-
397.
>They bounce painfully off you.
-
398.
>But just as you think it's over, a large, heavy tome outlining the perks of mechanised farming crashes into your body.
-
399.
-
400.
>"Stupid moron."
-
401.
>Sombra tears a drawer out of its compartment.
-
402.
>"Idiot."
-
403.
>She inspects your arm and flips through a medicinal book.
-
404.
>"Imbecile."
-
405.
"Alright, I get it."
-
406.
>"Why did you make me do that?"
-
407.
"I didn't -make- you do anything! You're the one who lost her shit and decided to try and kill me!"
-
408.
>"Well I didn't mean to hit you! Your body is too large, it got in the way. I only meant to scare you."
-
409.
>She prods your arm and checks the drawer of medical supplies she pulled out for various ointments.
-
410.
"Is all this really necessary? It's just a big bruise."
-
411.
>"You might have a fracture."
-
412.
"Trust me, we'd know if I did."
-
413.
>"Well fine then. You patch -yourself- up."
-
414.
>She storms out of the room.
-
415.
>You sigh and check your arm again.
-
416.
>An ugly bruise has formed where the corner of the book hit you, but you've not broken anything.
-
417.
>It'll heal.
-
418.
>Now you just need to figure out what you're going to do with Sombra.
-
419.
>So far you've shown up, fucked around in a library and slept next to her.
-
420.
>Hardly the heroic assassination against the lord of darkness that you were promised.
-
421.
>Come to think of it, a lot of what Celestia told you about Sombra has turned out to be bullshit.
-
422.
>You were told she was a merciless overlord who had enslaved the entire kingdom.
-
423.
>Who had returned from beyond death to wreak havoc in the frozen north.
-
424.
>Who had dethroned Cadence and Shining Armour and once more brought the Crystal Empire under her control.
-
425.
>But given what you've seen, you have no idea what could have possibly happened.
-
426.
>One thing you can be quite sure of is that she isn't a monster.
-
427.
>Right?
-
428.
>She's angry, aggressive, and cold.
-
429.
>Maybe even a little bit conceited.
-
430.
>And above all else, seemingly lonely.
-
431.
>Of course, you can't conclude everything from spending just under a day with her.
-
432.
>Some more observation will have to be in order.
-
433.
>Even then, why observe?
-
434.
>You're here to kill her. No matter what you do here, the reason you came here doesn't change.
-
435.
>Celestia tasked you to kill her.
-
436.
>And you think maybe get back some money that she owes Celestia from about 1000 years ago.
-
437.
>Old gambling debts aren't forgotten, apparently.
-
438.
>"Hey."
-
439.
>Look up.
-
440.
>Sombra is holding two steaming cups in her magic.
-
441.
>"Do you like hot chocolate?"
-
442.
"Sure."
-
443.
>"Right. Well, good. I made you some. Thank me later."
-
444.
>She thinks for a moment.
-
445.
>"Actually, thank me now."
-
446.
"...Thanks for the hot chocolate?"
-
447.
>"You're very welcome."
-
448.
>The mare trots towards you and gently places your cup of steaming hot coco next to you.
-
449.
>She sits on her rear and sips hers, staring into space as she does so.
-
450.
>Once again you find yourself in awkward silence with her.
-
451.
>And all you can think about is what makes her tick.
-
452.
>So far she's been quite receptive to questions, so perhaps you can squeeze some more information out of her.
-
453.
"Soo, when you took over, how did that go down?"
-
454.
>You expect a story about how she fought her way to the throne.
-
455.
>Or even more likely, that everyone in the Crystal Empire just took a two week holiday and she's taken over while they were gone.
-
456.
>Maybe a funny story about--
-
457.
>"I killed them all."
-
458.
>...
-
459.
>You stare at her, then frown.
-
460.
"Come on, be serious."
-
461.
>She sets down her mug and stares straight at you, her ethereal eyes letting out small wisps of purple energy.
-
462.
>"I killed each and every one of them."
-
463.
>Your blood runs cold.
-
464.
>Seems Celestia was right all along.
-
465.
>Sombra sighs.
-
466.
>"At least, I think I have. Probably have. More than likely have. It was an accident, alright?"
-
467.
>She fumes to herself and drinks some more chocolate.
-
468.
>"Last time I was banished by Celestia and her fat sister, I cast a fail-safe that would banish the empire with me."
-
469.
"Right."
-
470.
>"It worked, and a thousand or so years later, I came back, along with the empire."
-
471.
>She takes a slow sip and wipes her mouth on the back of her hoof.
-
472.
>"So that time some pink flying thing and a dragon whelp literally explode me and I wake up in Tartarus."
-
473.
"How does that work?"
-
474.
>She taps her horn.
-
475.
>"Artificial horn. Acts like a fail-safe for death."
-
476.
>She smiles.
-
477.
>"I'm big on fail-safes. I'm just a unicorn, after all. We're super squishy."
-
478.
>You take note of her plush looking sides.
-
479.
>Then immediately look back at her face.
-
480.
>She's lost in her own little world as she recollects the story.
-
481.
>"So my horn regenerated me, I tricked the guard-dog at Tartarus with rock I painted to look like a ball, and I escaped."
-
482.
>Sombra shakes her head.
-
483.
>"I made my way back here, and the first thing I do is try and cast that banishment fail-safe again to get rid of the pink flying princess thing whose name escapes me and her consort."
-
484.
>She looks around, and you once again listen to the sound of silence in the palace.
-
485.
>"I made a mistake, Anonymous."
-
486.
>She looks at you sadly.
-
487.
>"So now they're all banished. All of them. And I'm stuck here alone for a thousand years until they get back. That is, if they even make it back. Not sure if I applied the chrono-skip to the spell, so they might literally have to spend a thousand years in some forgotten temporal plane, rather than spending 20 minutes there like we did last time."
-
488.
>Sombra gulps down the last of her milk and wipes her mouth.
-
489.
>"Worst of all I don't have anyone to boss around or mine crystals for me..."
-
490.
>She grows a small smile.
-
491.
>"Well, until you showed up."
-
492.
>The mare flashes you a sweet little grin.
-
493.
>"Anonymous~ would you be a dear and head down to the mines and dedicate your life to harvesting magic crystals for me?"
-
494.
>She bats her eyelids, then lets out a frustrated groan.
-
495.
>You watch in bemusement as the tyrant flops backwards spread-eagled and stares at the crystalline ceiling.
-
496.
>"Not going to lie, this is a really boring situation to be in."
-
497.
"But... You've got magic."
-
498.
>She scrunches her face up.
-
499.
>"I don't know what you know about magic, but tyrants have to eat, Anonymous. They have to have people work for them, and maintain their empires, and fight their battles."
-
500.
>The mare puffs out her cheeks.
-
501.
>"Tyrants rule through fear. Not much use when there's no one around to scare."
-
502.
>She looks at you.
-
503.
>"And you don't even find me scary."
-
504.
>You give the queen a long look, and after a long while, say:
-
505.
"How the hell did you take over the first time?"
-
506.
>She frowns.
-
507.
>"I just said, fear. My special talent was scaring ponies. Well, that's putting it lightly, I was a magical prodigy really. But I was always good at spooking people. My foalhood friends used to call me Spooky Sombra before I imprisoned them in the crystal mines."
-
508.
>She giggles to herself.
-
509.
>"Good times~"
-
510.
>Getting over how adorable that giggle was, you ask the final and most pressing question.
-
511.
"But why are you always portrayed as a stallion?"
-
512.
>"Don't know. Celestia was probably a massive bitch about winning and made everyone think I was a guy."
-
513.
"...But why?"
-
514.
>"Haven't you ever met Celestia? She's the worst."
-
515.
"Yeah, she is."
-
516.
>"Oh, you've met her then."
-
517.
"Yeah, she..."
-
518.
>Should you really tell her this?
-
519.
>You look at the mare lying spread-eagled on the floor.
-
520.
>She looks at you, nursing your arm and hot chocolate.
-
521.
"She umm, sent me here to kill you."
-
522.
>Sombra stares at you.
-
523.
>Slowly, she sits up.
-
524.
>"Oh."
-
525.
>You set down the chocolate and keep your hands to yourself.
-
526.
>The mare frowns at you.
-
527.
>Then her face contorts into one of anger.
-
528.
>Then back to just frowning.
-
529.
>"O-oh."
-
530.
"Are you okay?"
-
531.
>"D-don't talk to me."
-
532.
>She stands up and paces around.
-
533.
>"So now they're sending assassins. Well some assassin you turned out to be!"
-
534.
>Sombra seems to hype herself up for a moment, turning away and giving herself a sort of pep-talk before smoothing her mane out and readjusting her dusty robes.
-
535.
>She spins around, eyes full of fury.
-
536.
>"SO! You think you can claim my life, do you?!"
-
537.
"What? No--"
-
538.
>"You shall find only death here!"
-
539.
>She points her horn at you and charges it up.
-
540.
>You grab the closest thing to you in a bid to defend yourself.
-
541.
>A drawer full of medical supplies.
-
542.
>The two of you stand off.
-
543.
>Sombra breathes heavily.
-
544.
>Your mind works rapidly to try and figure a way out of this.
-
545.
>"G-go on then! Try and kill me!"
-
546.
"You first!"
-
547.
>"You fi-- What kind of assassin are you?!"
-
548.
"I'm not an assassin!"
-
549.
>"But you just said Celestia sent you to kill me!"
-
550.
"She did! And if I really was an assassin, then why didn't I kill you last night?!"
-
551.
>"I don't know, because you're stupid!"
-
552.
"Then how could I possibly kill -you-?!"
-
553.
>She pauses.
-
554.
>Then raises her horn slightly.
-
555.
>"...Did you just imply that I'm smarter than you?"
-
556.
"Well, I mean, you're the one with an empire, and I'm threatening you with--."
-
557.
>You quickly glance at the drawer in your hands.
-
558.
"Bandages, throat medicine and tea-leaves."
-
559.
>Sombra blushes slightly.
-
560.
>"Well, umm, you're still going to try and kill me though, right?"
-
561.
"No, I'm really not."
-
562.
>...
-
563.
>She dissipates the magic in her horn.
-
564.
>"Well. Good. I'm terrible at fighting."
-
565.
>Sombra tries to force a smile.
-
566.
>"You can put down my medicine now."
-
567.
>You do so gladly, then sit back down.
-
568.
>Sombra tentatively sits next to you.
-
569.
>Then scooches over slightly so that you can feel her flank pressed slightly against your leg.
-
570.
>"So now that I've forced you into submission, can you please look after me?"
-
571.
"I-- what."
-
572.
>"Well, I'm a tyrant, not a cook."
-
573.
"You want me to cook you stuff."
-
574.
>"Yes, and if you don't, I'll kill you."
-
575.
"We literally just established that you won't kill me."
-
576.
>"I showed you mercy."
-
577.
"Oh here we go, mouthing off about being superior again."
-
578.
>"Shut up, Anonymous, you can't understand what I'm going through."
-
579.
"What sort of tyrant bitches about her emotional problems to would-be assassins?"
-
580.
>"The kind that will slap said would-be assassin silly if he doesn't show her some respect!"
-
581.
"I'll show you respect when you damn well deserve it, I didn't want to come to this shitty part of the country anyway!"
-
582.
>Sombra gasps.
-
583.
>"Don't call the palace I rightfully stole shitty! I spent years working towards this! I died! You could be at least a little bit more sympathetic towards my personal issues!"
-
584.
"Personal issues?! You're a psychotic unicorn hell-bent on ruling an empire with no one in it! Why should I care about your personal issues?!"
-
585.
>"It's not got no one in it! -You're- in it! And I thought you might care because you haven't left yet!"
-
586.
"...Well of course I've not left! You haven't let me!"
-
587.
>"Oh don't start with that 'waa you're imprisoning me' crap! I heard enough of that from the thousands of ponies I locked underground!"
-
588.
"You're just an evil, self-absorbed bitch!"
-
589.
>"Well you're just some... I don't even know -what- you are! You just turned up and started reading me stories!"
-
590.
"Only because you asked!"
-
591.
>"Yes! I did! And I really enjoyed it!"
-
592.
"Yeah so did I, you whore!"
-
593.
>"Don't call me a whore you sack of assholes! I could break you with my mind!"
-
594.
"I could break you with my fists!"
-
595.
>"Well go ahead!"
-
596.
"Fine, I will!"
-
597.
>"Then do it!"
-
598.
"I'm going to!"
-
599.
>"Good!"
-
600.
"F--"
-
601.
>Sombra grabs both sides of your head and forces her lips against yours.
-
602.
>You grab her mane and wrestle her to the floor.
-
603.
>Her crown and robes are torn off.
-
604.
>Your shirt and pants follow suit, and in seconds you're both rolling around on the floor, locked in each other's embrace.
-
605.
-
606.
>"Woah."
-
607.
"Holy shit."
-
608.
>Sombra lies cuddled up against you on the floor.
-
609.
>You stare blankly at the ceiling.
-
610.
>"That was..."
-
611.
"Yeah."
-
612.
>Sit up.
-
613.
>Rub your head.
-
614.
"Jesus..."
-
615.
>"What?"
-
616.
"Nothing. So uhh, what happens now?"
-
617.
>"Not... umm, not really sure. Never done that before."
-
618.
"I noticed."
-
619.
>She punches you in the ribs.
-
620.
>"Not funny."
-
621.
"It's a little bit funny."
-
622.
>Sombra exhales deeply and runs a hoof through her messy, tangled mane.
-
623.
>"Are you going to go back to... Well, you know."
-
624.
"Canterlot?"
-
625.
>"Yes."
-
626.
"Not sure. Can't exactly do so since you're not dead."
-
627.
>Sombra frowns.
-
628.
>"She really wanted me dead?"
-
629.
"Yeah, also you owed her money, apparently."
-
630.
>"Ugh, she's -still- on that? I'm not giving her a single bit..."
-
631.
"Well I can't go back until you're dead, and I can't leave because eventually you'll run out of food because you can't cook for shit."
-
632.
>"Hey! ...Well yes, I can't cook, but tyrants aren't supposed to."
-
633.
"So if I leave you'll die anyway."
-
634.
>Her ears fall back slightly.
-
635.
>"I-I suppose I would. There's enough food in the empire to last me a few months before it all goes bad. After than... well..."
-
636.
>She trails off.
-
637.
>You sigh and look at her.
-
638.
>She's still panting from her 'exertion' and smells terrible.
-
639.
"...First, you need a shower."
-
640.
>Sombra nods.
-
641.
>Then shakes her head.
-
642.
>"I have no idea what that is."
-
643.
"Uhh--"
-
644.
>"Thousand year banishment. Only been back for a month at best."
-
645.
"Ah. Basically, I'm washing you. You stink."
-
646.
>She goes red.
-
647.
"Second, we need to figure out how we're going to make food."
-
648.
>"We also need an army."
-
649.
"We can get to that later, you god damn maniac."
-
650.
>"What do you propose we do, then?"
-
651.
"I don't know, go back to Canterlot?"
-
652.
>She snorts.
-
653.
>"Celestia will have me killed on the spot."
-
654.
"We could move somewhere more remote then?"
-
655.
>Sombra give you a wry smile.
-
656.
>"I just had a thought."
-
657.
>You raise an eyebrow.
-
658.
>"We've only known each other for just over a day and we've already slept with and are living together."
-
659.
>You purse your lips.
-
660.
>There's silence between you both.
-
661.
"Has to be some kind of record, that."
-
662.
>"Maybe... Or I'm just -that- attractive."
-
663.
"Oh god not again."
-
664.
>"You can't deny it though, can you? I always was desirable."
-
665.
"We got caught up in the moment, it didn't mean anything--"
-
666.
>"Oh shush, I know you liked me the moment we met. I could see it in your eyes."
-
667.
>She bites her lower lip.
-
668.
>"You devious creature, coming into my palace just to seduce me~"
-
669.
"Did you smoke something while I wasn't looking? Snap out of it! This is a serious situation!"
-
670.
>She clears her throat and apologises, but still gives you the half-lidded eyes.
-
671.
>"You'll make a fine slave."
-
672.
"First things first, lady, I'm no slave. What we have is a platonic relationship to further our mutual goals, me so I can go home, you so you can survive since you're apparently too inept to survive on your own."
-
673.
>She flushes with anger.
-
674.
>"Don't start this again, you damnable creature, you're the one who showed up to copulate with your assassination target!"
-
675.
"It wasn't exactly fair! I've never killed anyone and you were in a really sorry state! I couldn't kill something so defenceless!"
-
676.
>Oh. Whoops.
-
677.
>"Defenceless?! I have conquered empires--"
-
678.
"By jumping out of the fucking closet and saying "boogaloogaloo"! That's not something real tyrants do, Sombra!"
-
679.
>"I apologise for not being a ruthless killing machine like you'd hoped!"
-
680.
"It's not my fault I'm here! It's Celestia's fault!"
-
681.
>"Well it's her fault I'm trapped in this frozen wasteland!"
-
682.
"Oh boo hoo, so why don't we just dance along back to Canterlot and kill Celestia then?!"
-
683.
>"Like that will ever happen!"
-
684.
"Then what the hell do you want from me?!"
-
685.
>"I want you to stay with me!"
-
686.
"We've known each other for a day, woman!"
-
687.
>"Is that supposed to change the fact that I've fallen for you?!"
-
688.
"Oh suck my dick you fucking--"
-
689.
-
690.
"God dammit."
-
691.
>"I don't even know what happened then."
-
692.
"Twice. Twice in the same fucking day."
-
693.
>"Damn, that thing you did with your hands was hot~"
-
694.
"Shut up."
-
695.
>Sit up again.
-
696.
>Sombra giggles and enjoys her afterglow.
-
697.
"What are we going to do, Sombra..."
-
698.
>"Hmm?"
-
699.
>Lie back and put your hands behind your head.
-
700.
"Two days ago I was sat at home reading books and just existing. Now I'm lying on the floor of a palace after round two with an alleged 'diabolical overlord' that I was supposed to kill."
-
701.
>"Wouldn't have happened if you'd just killed me."
-
702.
"Fuck you."
-
703.
>"Literally just did~"
-
704.
>Grunt in response.
-
705.
>"Look, I'm a simple mare with simple tastes. I want an empire, an army, and a hoof massage. So then you show up and turn that on its head."
-
706.
"How have I turned it on its head?"
-
707.
>"By... you know, being nice to me. Reading, making me smile. All that good stuff..."
-
708.
"Jesus, you have the emotional depth of a teenager."
-
709.
>Check your watch.
-
710.
"It's been like... twenty hours since we met.
-
711.
>She looks at you sadly.
-
712.
>"Well what am I supposed to do? I feel like I need you in my life even though we've only known each other for a day."
-
713.
"Maybe you're just lonely."
-
714.
>"If I was, would that really change how I feel about you?"
-
715.
>...
-
716.
>"Let's just... stay together."
-
717.
"But--"
-
718.
>"We'll sort out the food problem when it happens, Anonymous..."
-
719.
>The mare looks into your eyes.
-
720.
>"What have you got to lose?"
-
721.
>Hm.
-
722.
>Not much, to be frank.
-
723.
>No job, since no one will hire you and Celestia pays you since you're technically the ambassador to your people.
-
724.
>A pretty dumpy house in the lower levels of Canterlot.
-
725.
>You keep getting dragged into shenanigans by the royal family.
-
726.
>At least here you can unwind a bit.
-
727.
>Even if it is with an emotionally unstable, highly volatile, tyrannical wanna-be overlord.
-
728.
>Look down at your smelly, flawed, bright-eyed partner.
-
729.
>She lets out a short, soft laugh.
-
730.
>"President of my fanclub... really?"
-
731.
>You chuckle.
-
732.
"It was the best thing I could think of on my feet."
-
733.
>"You're weird, you know that?"
-
734.
"So are you."
-
735.
>...
-
736.
"What, no venomous comeback?"
-
737.
>"I don't feel like fighting."
-
738.
>Blink.
-
739.
"Well that's new."
-
740.
>"Oh shush, we've been together a day, you don't even know me."
-
741.
"No, I don't."
-
742.
>"...But I'd like you to."
-
743.
>...
-
744.
>You sigh and squeeze her closer to you with an arm.
-
745.
>Stare at the ceiling with what is apparently now your partner resting on you.
-
746.
>Hell of a way to start the week.
-
747.
>Food is going to be a serious issue soon.
-
748.
>Celestia will no doubt want to track you down.
-
749.
>And you don't even have any clothes.
-
750.
>Then again, you also have an entire empire to yourselves.
-
751.
>Look down at Sombra.
-
752.
>She's snoozing against you.
-
753.
>The unsettled look she wore the previous night has vanished.
-
754.
>She seems almost content now.
-
755.
>Still dangerously unstable.
-
756.
>And angry.
-
757.
>But content.
-
758.
>You?
-
759.
>Well, you just became the proud co-owner of an empire.
-
760.
>That has to count for something, right?
-
761.
>Sure, not everything turned out well, but at least it's an fun change of pace.
-
762.
>Sombra coos softly in her sleep.
-
763.
>She's an interesting mare.
-
764.
>Certainly more so than the other partners you've had since you showed up here.
-
765.
>And definitely more easily agitated.
-
766.
>But she's got a weird sort of appeal about her.
-
767.
>Maybe it's the eyes.
-
768.
>Plus, you broke a world record and got yourself a marefriend within 20 hours of meeting her.
-
769.
>If you had friends, they'd no doubt be patting you on the back.
-
770.
>Throughout your thoughts, you find yourself smiling.
-
771.
>Looks like you were right, though.
-
772.
>This whole thing -did- end in sex.
-
773.
-
774.
The End.
by Nebulus
by Nebulus
by Nebulus
by Nebulus