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[ANON IN EQUESTRIA] Queen Sombra

By Nebulus
Created: 2021-07-16 21:31:33
Updated: 2021-07-04 17:58:34
Expiry: Never
anonromancesafecomedy/aie/sombra

  1. 1.
    Originally uploaded to Pastebin: January 18th, 2015
  2. 2.
    ---
  3. 3.
     
  4. 4.
    Wrote this for a thread centred around a female version of King Sombra.
  5. 5.
    It's not exactly Rule 63, but more of a spin on the canon depiction of Sombra.
  6. 6.
     
  7. 7.
    Hope you enjoy it, it was fun to write.
  8. 8.
     
  9. 9.
    ---
  10. 10.
     
  11. 11.
    "You're sending me to do what?"
  12. 12.
    >Celestia nods solemnly.
  13. 13.
    >"This is a grave task that only you can accomplish. Right, Luna?"
  14. 14.
    >Luna lets out a disinterested "uh huh" and continues openly flipping through her porn magazine.
  15. 15.
    "Yeah, but, assassination?"
  16. 16.
    >"Come on, it'll be easy, Sombra's a pussy anyway."
  17. 17.
    >Luna nods.
  18. 18.
    >"Verily, he art a sizable vagina."
  19. 19.
    "B-but I'm an ambassador, not an assassin! Hell, I'm not even an ambassador, you just pay me to represent my people!"
  20. 20.
    >Celestia jabs you in the shoulder.
  21. 21.
    >"Don't be a wuss, Anon. You're just going to the Crystal Empire, pretending to be his friend or ally or whatever, then sticking a dagger in his belly. What's hard about that?"
  22. 22.
    "Well killing someone, for starters, second, what did he do to deserve it?"
  23. 23.
    >"He owes me money, and also he stole the Empire away from Cadence or something. But mostly he owes me money."
  24. 24.
    "Christ, well when do I start?"
  25. 25.
    >"Right now! Come along, game faces on, this'll be a quick adventure."
  26. 26.
    "When can I expect to be back?"
  27. 27.
    >"I dunno, train ride is like a day, then you can spend four hours or whatever getting close to Sombra, then you shank the fucker and be back home for Wednesday."
  28. 28.
    >Luna grunts.
  29. 29.
    >"Be sure to kick him in the balls once you're through."
  30. 30.
    >She blinks a few times.
  31. 31.
    >"Uhh, verily."
  32. 32.
    >Celestia nods sagely.
  33. 33.
    >"The ball kicking is important."
  34. 34.
    "...Why?"
  35. 35.
    >"It's a symbol of Equestrian might. We kick all our enemies in the balls."
  36. 36.
    "That seems juvenile."
  37. 37.
    >"And yet I'm the immortal sun goddess with a nation under her hoof, what have you accomplished lately?"
  38. 38.
    >Luna snorts.
  39. 39.
    >"Being a dork."
  40. 40.
    >Celestia guffaws at this and hoofbumps her sister.
  41. 41.
    >"Alright, Anon, let's get you to the train station."
  42. 42.
    "W-wait, aren't I allowed to take anything?"
  43. 43.
    >"Nope. No time, Equestria hangs in the balance or something to that effect."
  44. 44.
    >She starts pushing you out the room.
  45. 45.
    "Can't I at least take my tooth brush?!"
  46. 46.
    >"I'm sure you'll look super imposing showing up to the Crystal Empire clutching nothing but a toothbrush. NOW GO!"
  47. 47.
     
  48. 48.
    >Huff to yourself as you watch the snowy landscape zip by past your carriage window.
  49. 49.
    >The train is deserted apart from you.
  50. 50.
    >You think the conductor might even have hopped off.
  51. 51.
    >Craning your neck, you look into the driver's cabin.
  52. 52.
    >A 'be right back' note is taped to the controls.
  53. 53.
    >Sigh.
  54. 54.
    >Maybe this won't be so bad.
  55. 55.
    >You're only going to kill a tyrant.
  56. 56.
    >With absolutely no formal training, experience or even motivation to do so.
  57. 57.
    >You can pretty much expect to die here.
  58. 58.
    >Didn't even get to say goodbye to your favourite pony.
  59. 59.
    >Pony Joe.
  60. 60.
    >You see a large gleaming spire rise over the horizon.
  61. 61.
    >That must be the empire.
  62. 62.
    >You've never been before, but you've heard tales of how nice it is this time of year.
  63. 63.
    >Take another quick glance at the frozen desolation around you.
  64. 64.
    >Yup, sure is lovely.
  65. 65.
    >The train pulls into the station and you stand up, rubbing your eyes and preparing to meet your death.
  66. 66.
    >Hey, maybe Sombra will go easy on you.
  67. 67.
    >Perhaps you can appeal to his good nature.
  68. 68.
    >If he even has one.
  69. 69.
    >You pull a picture out of your pocket and unfold it.
  70. 70.
    >A jet black, red horned, psychotic-looking unicorn in a regal gown cackles whilst lightning strikes around him.
  71. 71.
    >Would he like sports? He looks like he might like sports.
  72. 72.
    >Step off the train as it comes to a stop.
  73. 73.
    >Around you you're surrounded by hundreds of... absolutely nothing.
  74. 74.
    >The platform is dead.
  75. 75.
    >You can't even hear the wind.
  76. 76.
    >Looking around, you see that there's a sort of artificial eco-sphere set up around the empire, because everything is lush, green, and warm.
  77. 77.
    >Frowning, you scratch your face and head towards the exit.
  78. 78.
    >There has to be someone around here.
  79. 79.
    >Yet as you reach the streets of the Crystal Empire, nothing changes.
  80. 80.
    >You peer through various windows, but see no cowering citizens like you expected.
  81. 81.
    >It seems as though the whole empire is a ghost town.
  82. 82.
    >Spooky.
  83. 83.
    >Push on towards the massive spire that towers above the houses.
  84. 84.
    >If you weren't here to perform an execution, you might find this quite nice.
  85. 85.
    >Stand beneath the spire and glance around.
  86. 86.
    >You see an entrance snaking up to the spire, but there's no one guarding it.
  87. 87.
    >Shrug and let yourself in.
  88. 88.
    >The whole situation is so surreal that you ask out of instinct:
  89. 89.
    "Hello? Anyone home? Your front door was unlocked!"
  90. 90.
    >Your voice echoes back at you.
  91. 91.
    >Pick a random direction and start walking.
  92. 92.
    >An evil tyrant would probably hang out in the throne room, right?
  93. 93.
    >Stick your hands in your pockets and whistle as you walk.
  94. 94.
    >Admire the architecture.
  95. 95.
    >Everything is made of crystal.
  96. 96.
    >Even the flowers.
  97. 97.
    >You pass into a large hallway, and a pair of great double doors lie at the end.
  98. 98.
    >They're slightly open.
  99. 99.
    >Briskly walk over and poke your head through the door to see--
  100. 100.
    >"HEY!"
  101. 101.
    "OHGOD."
  102. 102.
    >Leap backwards, tripping over yourself as you do so.
  103. 103.
    >You fall to the floor, banging your back hard against the crystalline surface.
  104. 104.
    >There's no time to rest, however, as King Sombra herself is immediately all over you.
  105. 105.
    >"Who are you?! How did you get in? Who sent you? Are you hurt? Why are you so weird looking?"
  106. 106.
    >You bat your hands at her and try to fend her off.
  107. 107.
    >Yet as your hands push at her fluffy chest and force the overbearing unicorn away from you, you pause.
  108. 108.
    >Sombra glares at you, her eyes filled with cautious anticipation.
  109. 109.
    >Slowly, you reach into your pocket and retrieve your picture.
  110. 110.
    >Unfold it and compare it to the mare before you.
  111. 111.
    >Same colour scheme, same red horn, same clothing, same look of extreme mania.
  112. 112.
    >But...
  113. 113.
    "Wait, you're a mare?"
  114. 114.
    >Sombra stares at you, then gives an indignant huff.
  115. 115.
    >"Of course I'm a mare! I'm Queen Sombra! Terror of the Crystal Empire!"
  116. 116.
    "...Oh."
  117. 117.
    >The queen's eyes narrow.
  118. 118.
    >"What, you were expecting something more? Am I not scary enough for you?"
  119. 119.
    "No no, it's not that, I just, uhh, I was told you were a stallion."
  120. 120.
    >"By who? It wasn't Celestia was it? Are you an assassin here to kill me?!"
  121. 121.
    >She presses her face close to you, so that her nose is touching yours.
  122. 122.
    >Her scrunched face and glare are enough to shut you up.
  123. 123.
    "N-No! I'm here to... visit?"
  124. 124.
    >Sombra eyes you for a second.
  125. 125.
    >"Visit."
  126. 126.
    "Yes."
  127. 127.
    >"From where?"
  128. 128.
    "Canterlot?"
  129. 129.
    >"So Celestia -did- send you to kill me?"
  130. 130.
    "No, I'm just, uhh, President of the Sombra Fanclub."
  131. 131.
    >What the fuck are you talking about.
  132. 132.
    >Sombra blinks a few times, then smirks.
  133. 133.
    >"The president of my own fanclub doesn't know what gender I am?"
  134. 134.
    "W-well to be fair, you don't exactly show up much."
  135. 135.
    >"No, I don't."
  136. 136.
    >She fixes her mane with a hoof.
  137. 137.
    >"I'm far too busy to attend such trivial things, but I appreciate the time you took to visit me."
  138. 138.
    >She puts on a haughty expression.
  139. 139.
    >"Tell me, how many legions of fans do I have in Canterlot?"
  140. 140.
    "Oh. Um, well it's just ahh, me."
  141. 141.
    >...
  142. 142.
    >Sombra looks crestfallen.
  143. 143.
    "But I'm looking for new members!"
  144. 144.
    >She deflates somewhat.
  145. 145.
    >"Right, yes, of course."
  146. 146.
    >The queen fixes you with her unsettlingly intense gaze again.
  147. 147.
    >"I suppose I should be a gracious host and show you around."
  148. 148.
    "Wouldn't the queen have a servant to do th--"
  149. 149.
    >You shut your mouth quickly.
  150. 150.
    >Sombra glares at you.
  151. 151.
    >"Yes. Well. All my servants are busy with important royal matters at the moment."
  152. 152.
    >In the silence that follows, you realise just how quiet the palace really is.
  153. 153.
    >It truly is completely deserted save for Sombra.
  154. 154.
    >You stand up and look down at the queen.
  155. 155.
    >She seems perturbed by your height over her.
  156. 156.
    >"You're too tall. Shrink."
  157. 157.
    "I can't, ma'am."
  158. 158.
    >She huffs and trots off down the hall, motioning for you to follow.
  159. 159.
    >You follow her.
  160. 160.
    >As you both walk, you think about what just happened.
  161. 161.
    >She's alone in a castle, doesn't have any guards, is way smaller than you are, is good-natured enough to not kill you on the spot, and is now showing you around.
  162. 162.
    >You get the horrible feeling that this is going to end in sex.
  163. 163.
    >Paintings of various important figures adorn the walls.
  164. 164.
    >Sombra sees you looking and tries to make small talk.
  165. 165.
    >"You like the paintings?"
  166. 166.
    "Yeah, who are they?"
  167. 167.
    >"I have no idea. I only moved in two weeks ago."
  168. 168.
    "...Oh."
  169. 169.
    >"Not very in-the-know, are you... Uhh--"
  170. 170.
    "Anonymous."
  171. 171.
    >"Anonymous."
  172. 172.
    "No, I'm not. How did you come to running the empire?"
  173. 173.
    >"I merely showed up and every pony was so scared of me that they just ran away."
  174. 174.
    "Really?"
  175. 175.
    >"Yes. That's what happened. Stop asking so many questions."
  176. 176.
    "So now that you have the empire, what are you going to do?"
  177. 177.
    >"Run it, obviously."
  178. 178.
    "Ah, good plan. But uhh, I didn't see... -many- ponies around. How are you going to gather wealth and power with so few followers?"
  179. 179.
    >"Hopefully that fanclub of yours might be able to throw me together an army. How does three months sound? I want an army ready to go in three months."
  180. 180.
    "Why do you want an army?"
  181. 181.
    >"I'm a tyrant, idiot, it's what tyrants do. You know, they build armies and stuff."
  182. 182.
    "And stuff."
  183. 183.
    >"Shut up."
  184. 184.
    >She pushes open a door and you find yourself in what looks like...
  185. 185.
    "Is this a kitchen?"
  186. 186.
    >Sombra pulls open the Royal Refrigerator and retrieves a Rich, Expensive and Hard-to-obtain Royal Beverage.
  187. 187.
    >She cracks open the soda and sips on it.
  188. 188.
    >"You want one?"
  189. 189.
    >Nervously accept and pierce the lid, sipping the flat soda inside.
  190. 190.
    "You're... Not really what I was expecting."
  191. 191.
    >Sombra goes red.
  192. 192.
    >"Yeah, well, why don't you just disappear like the others then?"
  193. 193.
    >Sit down on a chair.
  194. 194.
    >Sombra glares at you.
  195. 195.
    >You get an idea, and instead slide off the chair and sit cross-legged on the floor.
  196. 196.
    >This brings you to eye-level with Sombra.
  197. 197.
    "I think I'll stay."
  198. 198.
    >She seems pleased with this and sits herself down as well.
  199. 199.
    >"Good. I need more slaves."
  200. 200.
    "Slaves?"
  201. 201.
    >"Yes. I need slaves to build my empire."
  202. 202.
    >Look around you.
  203. 203.
    "Empire already seems built."
  204. 204.
    >"Shut up, you don't know what it's like, running a nation."
  205. 205.
    >You scratch your face in thought.
  206. 206.
    "Soo... What -is- it like?"
  207. 207.
    >She gazes blankly at the soda in her hooves.
  208. 208.
    >"It's... Nice."
  209. 209.
    >Frown.
  210. 210.
    "Just nice?"
  211. 211.
    >"Look, you came at a bad time, alright? It's a transitional period, I haven't got everything set up yet."
  212. 212.
    >She gulps down some flat soda.
  213. 213.
    >"Come back in a month, and there'll be black-armour-clad guards marching these halls, legions of servants fulfilling my every wish, and foreign nations will be tripping over themselves to pay tribute to me!"
  214. 214.
    >She angrily drinks more 'Fruity Punch' soda.
  215. 215.
    >"You'll see, Anonymous..."
  216. 216.
    >She leans back so that her back is resting against one of the table legs behind her.
  217. 217.
    >"They'll all see..."
  218. 218.
    >Sit awkwardly for a while, sipping on the gone-off soda and thinking about what to do next.
  219. 219.
    >You're in a kitchen, and there are knives everywhere.
  220. 220.
    >You could totally stab her right now and be done with it.
  221. 221.
    >Yet some strange cosmic force compels you to sit still.
  222. 222.
    >The thought yet again occurs that you're probably going to bang this mare.
  223. 223.
    >"So."
  224. 224.
    >Look up at her.
  225. 225.
    >"What do you like to do for fun?"
  226. 226.
    "I'm sorry?"
  227. 227.
    >She goes red and asks again.
  228. 228.
    "Uhh, well, reading. I like reading."
  229. 229.
    >Sombra nods.
  230. 230.
    >"Yes, yes, me too. I have a library, you know."
  231. 231.
    "Really? Is it big?"
  232. 232.
    >"It's huge. It's a -royal- library, see."
  233. 233.
    "Oh, cool."
  234. 234.
    >She gives you an unamused look.
  235. 235.
    >"Well don't get too excited."
  236. 236.
    "Sorry, it's just, uhh, I don't really know how to talk to royalty."
  237. 237.
    >She shrugs.
  238. 238.
    >"You've been doing well so far."
  239. 239.
    >That's encouraging.
  240. 240.
    >"Want to see it then?"
  241. 241.
    "Sure, lead the way."
  242. 242.
    >She stands up and gets two more sodas out the fridge.
  243. 243.
    >"So, um, this might sound weird, but do you like adventure novels?"
  244. 244.
     
  245. 245.
    "The afternoon sun washed over the lands, shrouding all it touched in a silky orange glow. Firefall sighed happily as she could just about make out her home in the distance; the picturesque little village sat as happily as it always had on the side of the valley bowl..."
  246. 246.
    >You are in Sombra's library.
  247. 247.
    >For how long you've been there, you're unsure.
  248. 248.
    >But you're both under blankets and reading stories by lamplight.
  249. 249.
    >Sombra is curled up across from you, her red and green eyes flickering in the flame's light.
  250. 250.
    >You finish the book and yawn.
  251. 251.
    >Check your watch.
  252. 252.
    >You've been here for hours.
  253. 253.
    >Your throat kinda hurts from reading, and there are plates of food and empty drink cans scattered all around you.
  254. 254.
    >Sombra is watching you with utmost fascination.
  255. 255.
    >She'd taken off her crown sometime during your reading, and it lies forgotten on a small pile of chocolate wrappers.
  256. 256.
    >Her mane is wild and unkempt, a stark contrast to the pristine state it was in when you first met.
  257. 257.
    >She lazily plays around with an apple as you finish reading.
  258. 258.
    >Once you do so, she smiles.
  259. 259.
    >"That was... Great."
  260. 260.
    "Just great?"
  261. 261.
    >"Well, uh, passable, I suppose."
  262. 262.
    >She sniffs.
  263. 263.
    >"I used to have ponies read to me every night."
  264. 264.
    >You raise an eyebrow at her.
  265. 265.
    "You used to have ponies read you stories at night?"
  266. 266.
    >"Yes?"
  267. 267.
    "What, like a foal?"
  268. 268.
    >She glares at you.
  269. 269.
    >"If I wasn't so tired and full of chocolate I'd come over there and beat you like a dog."
  270. 270.
    >She snuggles in deep amongst her blankets and royal gown.
  271. 271.
    >It makes her look extremely cozy.
  272. 272.
    "It's past midnight, do you want to sleep?"
  273. 273.
    >"Sure, do you have a train you need to catch tomorrow? N-not that you can leave, or anything."
  274. 274.
    >...
  275. 275.
    >You briefly remember why you're here.
  276. 276.
    >Sombra studies your face as you think.
  277. 277.
    >It's not hard to tell that she's trying to figure you out.
  278. 278.
    >Eventually, you stretch out and let out a satisfied noise.
  279. 279.
    "Well I wasn't planning to go tomorrow. Didn't really plan my trip home yet."
  280. 280.
    >Which in a way is true.
  281. 281.
    >Sombra develops a small smile at this.
  282. 282.
    >"Oh. Good."
  283. 283.
    >She stands up, trying to keep the blankets close to her.
  284. 284.
    >The air in the library is chilly, though, and she quickly sits down again.
  285. 285.
    >"Ugh, I hate how cold it gets around here."
  286. 286.
    "Can't you heat the place up a bit?"
  287. 287.
    >"The old owners used to have enchantments that kept the place warm no matter what."
  288. 288.
    "And you can't do that?"
  289. 289.
    >"I don't know the spells for it. The eco-dome outside is fine, but the central heating isn't."
  290. 290.
    "Maybe it's in one of these books?"
  291. 291.
    >"Maybe."
  292. 292.
    "Don't you want to find out?"
  293. 293.
    >Sombra yawns.
  294. 294.
    >"I just want to sleep at the moment."
  295. 295.
    >You give her a curious look.
  296. 296.
    "What exactly have you been doing these last few weeks?"
  297. 297.
    >"Just... Planning."
  298. 298.
    "Planning for your armies, right?"
  299. 299.
    >"Of course."
  300. 300.
    "And not sitting around eating whatever you find in the fridge."
  301. 301.
    >"...Of course."
  302. 302.
    >She rests her chin on the floor.
  303. 303.
    "Not going to bed?"
  304. 304.
    >"Too tired and cold."
  305. 305.
    "Wow, some tyrant you are."
  306. 306.
    >"Just because I'm not what you would consider the ideal tyrant, doesn't mean that I'll put up with your sass, Anonymous."
  307. 307.
    "Oof, sorry."
  308. 308.
    >"Mmph. You'd better be..."
  309. 309.
    "You alright?"
  310. 310.
    >"Yes yes, just tired..."
  311. 311.
    >She closes her eyes and lets out a final, deep sigh.
  312. 312.
    >After a few seconds, you can hear her delicate snores drifting past your ears.
  313. 313.
    >You watch the sleeping mare for a good minute.
  314. 314.
    >This is it.
  315. 315.
    >You could kill her right now.
  316. 316.
    >Crush her throat?
  317. 317.
    >Snap her neck?
  318. 318.
    >...
  319. 319.
    >You look away from the queen and flip onto your back.
  320. 320.
    >Stare at the ceiling.
  321. 321.
    >You're not kidding anyone, Anon.
  322. 322.
    >You aren't a killer. Not even close.
  323. 323.
    >No way in hell are you killing someone you just met, least of all someone as sorry-looking as Sombra.
  324. 324.
    >Glance at her again.
  325. 325.
    >She looks troubled when she sleeps.
  326. 326.
    >Every so often she'll shift uncomfortably.
  327. 327.
    >Looking over her body, you see that one of her back legs is exposed.
  328. 328.
    >Readjusting yourself, you feel the cold air rush in for a moment.
  329. 329.
    >You don't blame her for shifting; the air is freezing.
  330. 330.
    >Shuffle over to her and gently wrap your fingers around her leg.
  331. 331.
    >Carefully slide it under her gown, then cover the gown in her blanket, making sure that none of her is exposed.
  332. 332.
    >"What are you doing?"
  333. 333.
    >You flinch and look at her.
  334. 334.
    >She's sat up slightly, her eyes glowing with ethereal light in the darkness.
  335. 335.
    "You looked cold, so I just, ah, moved your leg under the blanket."
  336. 336.
    >Sombra fixes you with her signature stare.
  337. 337.
    >Then gives you a small nod.
  338. 338.
    >"Thank you."
  339. 339.
    >She beckons for you to come closer.
  340. 340.
    >"Lie with me."
  341. 341.
    "Huh?"
  342. 342.
    >"We'll be warmer that way."
  343. 343.
    "We could always find a bed--""
  344. 344.
    >"Lie. With. Me."
  345. 345.
    "Right, yeah, got it."
  346. 346.
    >You settle down next to her and get comfy.
  347. 347.
    >She closes her eyes again and is asleep in seconds.
  348. 348.
    >You can smell her from here.
  349. 349.
    >She smells... quite musty, actually.
  350. 350.
    >Hardly 'smelling of lavender and vanilla' like the ponies back in Canterlot often do.
  351. 351.
    >Unwashed, even.
  352. 352.
    >You wonder if she's figured out where the shower is yet in this palace.
  353. 353.
    >Regardless, you get comfortable on your back and close your eyes.
  354. 354.
    >Never thought the day would end up like this.
  355. 355.
    >And with that, you drift off to sleep.
  356. 356.
     
  357. 357.
    >Your eyes creak open.
  358. 358.
    >The first thought in your mind is how much warmer it is.
  359. 359.
    >Sunlight streaks through the arched windows, catching the floating dust and illuminating the library.
  360. 360.
    >A muffled groan makes you glance at the sleeping form next to you.
  361. 361.
    >Sombra's faintly glowing eyes flutter open and she groggily studies you with early morning confusion.
  362. 362.
    >"Snrrrrgg... Crryyyystlllss..."
  363. 363.
    "What."
  364. 364.
    >She smacks her lips and raises her head from the floor, about to reply.
  365. 365.
    >Then pauses.
  366. 366.
    >Look down at where she's staring.
  367. 367.
    >You didn't even notice it, but sometime in the night, Sombra's hoof had escaped the confines of her blankets.
  368. 368.
    >The same happened to your arm, and your fingers were lightly resting against her hoof.
  369. 369.
    >Both you and Sombra quickly pull your respective limbs back to each other and regard one another with caution.
  370. 370.
    >"Were you touching me last night?"
  371. 371.
    "I don't know, did you try anything funny?"
  372. 372.
    >"Do I look like I make a lot of jokes?"
  373. 373.
    "I don't even know who you are."
  374. 374.
    >She huffs and stands up, shedding her blankets.
  375. 375.
    >The tyrant grunts at the sight of the books, wrappers, plates and glasses.
  376. 376.
    >"Look at this mess... Who's going to clean this up?"
  377. 377.
    "You, presumably, it's your palace."
  378. 378.
    >"Ugh, such disrespect. You're lucky I need you here to carry out my orders."
  379. 379.
    "Say what now."
  380. 380.
    >"Last night you told me you had no plans to leave, and I need help cleaning up the palace."
  381. 381.
    "But that's not what I'm here to d--"
  382. 382.
    >"Silence, you will do this for me or I shall destroy you."
  383. 383.
    >Give her a flat look.
  384. 384.
    "I don't think you will."
  385. 385.
    >Sombra looks aghast.
  386. 386.
    >"How -dare- you! I brought this empire to its knees! You really think you can stand up to me?!"
  387. 387.
    "Yes."
  388. 388.
    >"Such insolence. Fine! Be that way! I shall grant you ten seconds to run before I obliterate you where you stand!"
  389. 389.
    >Her horn lights up.
  390. 390.
    >You stand your ground.
  391. 391.
    >She begins counting down.
  392. 392.
    >Fold your arms and wait for her to finish.
  393. 393.
    >"Three. Two. ...ONE!"
  394. 394.
    >A violent blast of red magic slams into your chest, sending you flying head over heels backwards.
  395. 395.
    >You roll several times and come to an abrupt stop at the foot of a wooden bookcase.
  396. 396.
    >To your horror, your weight was enough to knock a few books off the shelves above.
  397. 397.
    >They bounce painfully off you.
  398. 398.
    >But just as you think it's over, a large, heavy tome outlining the perks of mechanised farming crashes into your body.
  399. 399.
     
  400. 400.
    >"Stupid moron."
  401. 401.
    >Sombra tears a drawer out of its compartment.
  402. 402.
    >"Idiot."
  403. 403.
    >She inspects your arm and flips through a medicinal book.
  404. 404.
    >"Imbecile."
  405. 405.
    "Alright, I get it."
  406. 406.
    >"Why did you make me do that?"
  407. 407.
    "I didn't -make- you do anything! You're the one who lost her shit and decided to try and kill me!"
  408. 408.
    >"Well I didn't mean to hit you! Your body is too large, it got in the way. I only meant to scare you."
  409. 409.
    >She prods your arm and checks the drawer of medical supplies she pulled out for various ointments.
  410. 410.
    "Is all this really necessary? It's just a big bruise."
  411. 411.
    >"You might have a fracture."
  412. 412.
    "Trust me, we'd know if I did."
  413. 413.
    >"Well fine then. You patch -yourself- up."
  414. 414.
    >She storms out of the room.
  415. 415.
    >You sigh and check your arm again.
  416. 416.
    >An ugly bruise has formed where the corner of the book hit you, but you've not broken anything.
  417. 417.
    >It'll heal.
  418. 418.
    >Now you just need to figure out what you're going to do with Sombra.
  419. 419.
    >So far you've shown up, fucked around in a library and slept next to her.
  420. 420.
    >Hardly the heroic assassination against the lord of darkness that you were promised.
  421. 421.
    >Come to think of it, a lot of what Celestia told you about Sombra has turned out to be bullshit.
  422. 422.
    >You were told she was a merciless overlord who had enslaved the entire kingdom.
  423. 423.
    >Who had returned from beyond death to wreak havoc in the frozen north.
  424. 424.
    >Who had dethroned Cadence and Shining Armour and once more brought the Crystal Empire under her control.
  425. 425.
    >But given what you've seen, you have no idea what could have possibly happened.
  426. 426.
    >One thing you can be quite sure of is that she isn't a monster.
  427. 427.
    >Right?
  428. 428.
    >She's angry, aggressive, and cold.
  429. 429.
    >Maybe even a little bit conceited.
  430. 430.
    >And above all else, seemingly lonely.
  431. 431.
    >Of course, you can't conclude everything from spending just under a day with her.
  432. 432.
    >Some more observation will have to be in order.
  433. 433.
    >Even then, why observe?
  434. 434.
    >You're here to kill her. No matter what you do here, the reason you came here doesn't change.
  435. 435.
    >Celestia tasked you to kill her.
  436. 436.
    >And you think maybe get back some money that she owes Celestia from about 1000 years ago.
  437. 437.
    >Old gambling debts aren't forgotten, apparently.
  438. 438.
    >"Hey."
  439. 439.
    >Look up.
  440. 440.
    >Sombra is holding two steaming cups in her magic.
  441. 441.
    >"Do you like hot chocolate?"
  442. 442.
    "Sure."
  443. 443.
    >"Right. Well, good. I made you some. Thank me later."
  444. 444.
    >She thinks for a moment.
  445. 445.
    >"Actually, thank me now."
  446. 446.
    "...Thanks for the hot chocolate?"
  447. 447.
    >"You're very welcome."
  448. 448.
    >The mare trots towards you and gently places your cup of steaming hot coco next to you.
  449. 449.
    >She sits on her rear and sips hers, staring into space as she does so.
  450. 450.
    >Once again you find yourself in awkward silence with her.
  451. 451.
    >And all you can think about is what makes her tick.
  452. 452.
    >So far she's been quite receptive to questions, so perhaps you can squeeze some more information out of her.
  453. 453.
    "Soo, when you took over, how did that go down?"
  454. 454.
    >You expect a story about how she fought her way to the throne.
  455. 455.
    >Or even more likely, that everyone in the Crystal Empire just took a two week holiday and she's taken over while they were gone.
  456. 456.
    >Maybe a funny story about--
  457. 457.
    >"I killed them all."
  458. 458.
    >...
  459. 459.
    >You stare at her, then frown.
  460. 460.
    "Come on, be serious."
  461. 461.
    >She sets down her mug and stares straight at you, her ethereal eyes letting out small wisps of purple energy.
  462. 462.
    >"I killed each and every one of them."
  463. 463.
    >Your blood runs cold.
  464. 464.
    >Seems Celestia was right all along.
  465. 465.
    >Sombra sighs.
  466. 466.
    >"At least, I think I have. Probably have. More than likely have. It was an accident, alright?"
  467. 467.
    >She fumes to herself and drinks some more chocolate.
  468. 468.
    >"Last time I was banished by Celestia and her fat sister, I cast a fail-safe that would banish the empire with me."
  469. 469.
    "Right."
  470. 470.
    >"It worked, and a thousand or so years later, I came back, along with the empire."
  471. 471.
    >She takes a slow sip and wipes her mouth on the back of her hoof.
  472. 472.
    >"So that time some pink flying thing and a dragon whelp literally explode me and I wake up in Tartarus."
  473. 473.
    "How does that work?"
  474. 474.
    >She taps her horn.
  475. 475.
    >"Artificial horn. Acts like a fail-safe for death."
  476. 476.
    >She smiles.
  477. 477.
    >"I'm big on fail-safes. I'm just a unicorn, after all. We're super squishy."
  478. 478.
    >You take note of her plush looking sides.
  479. 479.
    >Then immediately look back at her face.
  480. 480.
    >She's lost in her own little world as she recollects the story.
  481. 481.
    >"So my horn regenerated me, I tricked the guard-dog at Tartarus with rock I painted to look like a ball, and I escaped."
  482. 482.
    >Sombra shakes her head.
  483. 483.
    >"I made my way back here, and the first thing I do is try and cast that banishment fail-safe again to get rid of the pink flying princess thing whose name escapes me and her consort."
  484. 484.
    >She looks around, and you once again listen to the sound of silence in the palace.
  485. 485.
    >"I made a mistake, Anonymous."
  486. 486.
    >She looks at you sadly.
  487. 487.
    >"So now they're all banished. All of them. And I'm stuck here alone for a thousand years until they get back. That is, if they even make it back. Not sure if I applied the chrono-skip to the spell, so they might literally have to spend a thousand years in some forgotten temporal plane, rather than spending 20 minutes there like we did last time."
  488. 488.
    >Sombra gulps down the last of her milk and wipes her mouth.
  489. 489.
    >"Worst of all I don't have anyone to boss around or mine crystals for me..."
  490. 490.
    >She grows a small smile.
  491. 491.
    >"Well, until you showed up."
  492. 492.
    >The mare flashes you a sweet little grin.
  493. 493.
    >"Anonymous~ would you be a dear and head down to the mines and dedicate your life to harvesting magic crystals for me?"
  494. 494.
    >She bats her eyelids, then lets out a frustrated groan.
  495. 495.
    >You watch in bemusement as the tyrant flops backwards spread-eagled and stares at the crystalline ceiling.
  496. 496.
    >"Not going to lie, this is a really boring situation to be in."
  497. 497.
    "But... You've got magic."
  498. 498.
    >She scrunches her face up.
  499. 499.
    >"I don't know what you know about magic, but tyrants have to eat, Anonymous. They have to have people work for them, and maintain their empires, and fight their battles."
  500. 500.
    >The mare puffs out her cheeks.
  501. 501.
    >"Tyrants rule through fear. Not much use when there's no one around to scare."
  502. 502.
    >She looks at you.
  503. 503.
    >"And you don't even find me scary."
  504. 504.
    >You give the queen a long look, and after a long while, say:
  505. 505.
    "How the hell did you take over the first time?"
  506. 506.
    >She frowns.
  507. 507.
    >"I just said, fear. My special talent was scaring ponies. Well, that's putting it lightly, I was a magical prodigy really. But I was always good at spooking people. My foalhood friends used to call me Spooky Sombra before I imprisoned them in the crystal mines."
  508. 508.
    >She giggles to herself.
  509. 509.
    >"Good times~"
  510. 510.
    >Getting over how adorable that giggle was, you ask the final and most pressing question.
  511. 511.
    "But why are you always portrayed as a stallion?"
  512. 512.
    >"Don't know. Celestia was probably a massive bitch about winning and made everyone think I was a guy."
  513. 513.
    "...But why?"
  514. 514.
    >"Haven't you ever met Celestia? She's the worst."
  515. 515.
    "Yeah, she is."
  516. 516.
    >"Oh, you've met her then."
  517. 517.
    "Yeah, she..."
  518. 518.
    >Should you really tell her this?
  519. 519.
    >You look at the mare lying spread-eagled on the floor.
  520. 520.
    >She looks at you, nursing your arm and hot chocolate.
  521. 521.
    "She umm, sent me here to kill you."
  522. 522.
    >Sombra stares at you.
  523. 523.
    >Slowly, she sits up.
  524. 524.
    >"Oh."
  525. 525.
    >You set down the chocolate and keep your hands to yourself.
  526. 526.
    >The mare frowns at you.
  527. 527.
    >Then her face contorts into one of anger.
  528. 528.
    >Then back to just frowning.
  529. 529.
    >"O-oh."
  530. 530.
    "Are you okay?"
  531. 531.
    >"D-don't talk to me."
  532. 532.
    >She stands up and paces around.
  533. 533.
    >"So now they're sending assassins. Well some assassin you turned out to be!"
  534. 534.
    >Sombra seems to hype herself up for a moment, turning away and giving herself a sort of pep-talk before smoothing her mane out and readjusting her dusty robes.
  535. 535.
    >She spins around, eyes full of fury.
  536. 536.
    >"SO! You think you can claim my life, do you?!"
  537. 537.
    "What? No--"
  538. 538.
    >"You shall find only death here!"
  539. 539.
    >She points her horn at you and charges it up.
  540. 540.
    >You grab the closest thing to you in a bid to defend yourself.
  541. 541.
    >A drawer full of medical supplies.
  542. 542.
    >The two of you stand off.
  543. 543.
    >Sombra breathes heavily.
  544. 544.
    >Your mind works rapidly to try and figure a way out of this.
  545. 545.
    >"G-go on then! Try and kill me!"
  546. 546.
    "You first!"
  547. 547.
    >"You fi-- What kind of assassin are you?!"
  548. 548.
    "I'm not an assassin!"
  549. 549.
    >"But you just said Celestia sent you to kill me!"
  550. 550.
    "She did! And if I really was an assassin, then why didn't I kill you last night?!"
  551. 551.
    >"I don't know, because you're stupid!"
  552. 552.
    "Then how could I possibly kill -you-?!"
  553. 553.
    >She pauses.
  554. 554.
    >Then raises her horn slightly.
  555. 555.
    >"...Did you just imply that I'm smarter than you?"
  556. 556.
    "Well, I mean, you're the one with an empire, and I'm threatening you with--."
  557. 557.
    >You quickly glance at the drawer in your hands.
  558. 558.
    "Bandages, throat medicine and tea-leaves."
  559. 559.
    >Sombra blushes slightly.
  560. 560.
    >"Well, umm, you're still going to try and kill me though, right?"
  561. 561.
    "No, I'm really not."
  562. 562.
    >...
  563. 563.
    >She dissipates the magic in her horn.
  564. 564.
    >"Well. Good. I'm terrible at fighting."
  565. 565.
    >Sombra tries to force a smile.
  566. 566.
    >"You can put down my medicine now."
  567. 567.
    >You do so gladly, then sit back down.
  568. 568.
    >Sombra tentatively sits next to you.
  569. 569.
    >Then scooches over slightly so that you can feel her flank pressed slightly against your leg.
  570. 570.
    >"So now that I've forced you into submission, can you please look after me?"
  571. 571.
    "I-- what."
  572. 572.
    >"Well, I'm a tyrant, not a cook."
  573. 573.
    "You want me to cook you stuff."
  574. 574.
    >"Yes, and if you don't, I'll kill you."
  575. 575.
    "We literally just established that you won't kill me."
  576. 576.
    >"I showed you mercy."
  577. 577.
    "Oh here we go, mouthing off about being superior again."
  578. 578.
    >"Shut up, Anonymous, you can't understand what I'm going through."
  579. 579.
    "What sort of tyrant bitches about her emotional problems to would-be assassins?"
  580. 580.
    >"The kind that will slap said would-be assassin silly if he doesn't show her some respect!"
  581. 581.
    "I'll show you respect when you damn well deserve it, I didn't want to come to this shitty part of the country anyway!"
  582. 582.
    >Sombra gasps.
  583. 583.
    >"Don't call the palace I rightfully stole shitty! I spent years working towards this! I died! You could be at least a little bit more sympathetic towards my personal issues!"
  584. 584.
    "Personal issues?! You're a psychotic unicorn hell-bent on ruling an empire with no one in it! Why should I care about your personal issues?!"
  585. 585.
    >"It's not got no one in it! -You're- in it! And I thought you might care because you haven't left yet!"
  586. 586.
    "...Well of course I've not left! You haven't let me!"
  587. 587.
    >"Oh don't start with that 'waa you're imprisoning me' crap! I heard enough of that from the thousands of ponies I locked underground!"
  588. 588.
    "You're just an evil, self-absorbed bitch!"
  589. 589.
    >"Well you're just some... I don't even know -what- you are! You just turned up and started reading me stories!"
  590. 590.
    "Only because you asked!"
  591. 591.
    >"Yes! I did! And I really enjoyed it!"
  592. 592.
    "Yeah so did I, you whore!"
  593. 593.
    >"Don't call me a whore you sack of assholes! I could break you with my mind!"
  594. 594.
    "I could break you with my fists!"
  595. 595.
    >"Well go ahead!"
  596. 596.
    "Fine, I will!"
  597. 597.
    >"Then do it!"
  598. 598.
    "I'm going to!"
  599. 599.
    >"Good!"
  600. 600.
    "F--"
  601. 601.
    >Sombra grabs both sides of your head and forces her lips against yours.
  602. 602.
    >You grab her mane and wrestle her to the floor.
  603. 603.
    >Her crown and robes are torn off.
  604. 604.
    >Your shirt and pants follow suit, and in seconds you're both rolling around on the floor, locked in each other's embrace.
  605. 605.
     
  606. 606.
    >"Woah."
  607. 607.
    "Holy shit."
  608. 608.
    >Sombra lies cuddled up against you on the floor.
  609. 609.
    >You stare blankly at the ceiling.
  610. 610.
    >"That was..."
  611. 611.
    "Yeah."
  612. 612.
    >Sit up.
  613. 613.
    >Rub your head.
  614. 614.
    "Jesus..."
  615. 615.
    >"What?"
  616. 616.
    "Nothing. So uhh, what happens now?"
  617. 617.
    >"Not... umm, not really sure. Never done that before."
  618. 618.
    "I noticed."
  619. 619.
    >She punches you in the ribs.
  620. 620.
    >"Not funny."
  621. 621.
    "It's a little bit funny."
  622. 622.
    >Sombra exhales deeply and runs a hoof through her messy, tangled mane.
  623. 623.
    >"Are you going to go back to... Well, you know."
  624. 624.
    "Canterlot?"
  625. 625.
    >"Yes."
  626. 626.
    "Not sure. Can't exactly do so since you're not dead."
  627. 627.
    >Sombra frowns.
  628. 628.
    >"She really wanted me dead?"
  629. 629.
    "Yeah, also you owed her money, apparently."
  630. 630.
    >"Ugh, she's -still- on that? I'm not giving her a single bit..."
  631. 631.
    "Well I can't go back until you're dead, and I can't leave because eventually you'll run out of food because you can't cook for shit."
  632. 632.
    >"Hey! ...Well yes, I can't cook, but tyrants aren't supposed to."
  633. 633.
    "So if I leave you'll die anyway."
  634. 634.
    >Her ears fall back slightly.
  635. 635.
    >"I-I suppose I would. There's enough food in the empire to last me a few months before it all goes bad. After than... well..."
  636. 636.
    >She trails off.
  637. 637.
    >You sigh and look at her.
  638. 638.
    >She's still panting from her 'exertion' and smells terrible.
  639. 639.
    "...First, you need a shower."
  640. 640.
    >Sombra nods.
  641. 641.
    >Then shakes her head.
  642. 642.
    >"I have no idea what that is."
  643. 643.
    "Uhh--"
  644. 644.
    >"Thousand year banishment. Only been back for a month at best."
  645. 645.
    "Ah. Basically, I'm washing you. You stink."
  646. 646.
    >She goes red.
  647. 647.
    "Second, we need to figure out how we're going to make food."
  648. 648.
    >"We also need an army."
  649. 649.
    "We can get to that later, you god damn maniac."
  650. 650.
    >"What do you propose we do, then?"
  651. 651.
    "I don't know, go back to Canterlot?"
  652. 652.
    >She snorts.
  653. 653.
    >"Celestia will have me killed on the spot."
  654. 654.
    "We could move somewhere more remote then?"
  655. 655.
    >Sombra give you a wry smile.
  656. 656.
    >"I just had a thought."
  657. 657.
    >You raise an eyebrow.
  658. 658.
    >"We've only known each other for just over a day and we've already slept with and are living together."
  659. 659.
    >You purse your lips.
  660. 660.
    >There's silence between you both.
  661. 661.
    "Has to be some kind of record, that."
  662. 662.
    >"Maybe... Or I'm just -that- attractive."
  663. 663.
    "Oh god not again."
  664. 664.
    >"You can't deny it though, can you? I always was desirable."
  665. 665.
    "We got caught up in the moment, it didn't mean anything--"
  666. 666.
    >"Oh shush, I know you liked me the moment we met. I could see it in your eyes."
  667. 667.
    >She bites her lower lip.
  668. 668.
    >"You devious creature, coming into my palace just to seduce me~"
  669. 669.
    "Did you smoke something while I wasn't looking? Snap out of it! This is a serious situation!"
  670. 670.
    >She clears her throat and apologises, but still gives you the half-lidded eyes.
  671. 671.
    >"You'll make a fine slave."
  672. 672.
    "First things first, lady, I'm no slave. What we have is a platonic relationship to further our mutual goals, me so I can go home, you so you can survive since you're apparently too inept to survive on your own."
  673. 673.
    >She flushes with anger.
  674. 674.
    >"Don't start this again, you damnable creature, you're the one who showed up to copulate with your assassination target!"
  675. 675.
    "It wasn't exactly fair! I've never killed anyone and you were in a really sorry state! I couldn't kill something so defenceless!"
  676. 676.
    >Oh. Whoops.
  677. 677.
    >"Defenceless?! I have conquered empires--"
  678. 678.
    "By jumping out of the fucking closet and saying "boogaloogaloo"! That's not something real tyrants do, Sombra!"
  679. 679.
    >"I apologise for not being a ruthless killing machine like you'd hoped!"
  680. 680.
    "It's not my fault I'm here! It's Celestia's fault!"
  681. 681.
    >"Well it's her fault I'm trapped in this frozen wasteland!"
  682. 682.
    "Oh boo hoo, so why don't we just dance along back to Canterlot and kill Celestia then?!"
  683. 683.
    >"Like that will ever happen!"
  684. 684.
    "Then what the hell do you want from me?!"
  685. 685.
    >"I want you to stay with me!"
  686. 686.
    "We've known each other for a day, woman!"
  687. 687.
    >"Is that supposed to change the fact that I've fallen for you?!"
  688. 688.
    "Oh suck my dick you fucking--"
  689. 689.
     
  690. 690.
    "God dammit."
  691. 691.
    >"I don't even know what happened then."
  692. 692.
    "Twice. Twice in the same fucking day."
  693. 693.
    >"Damn, that thing you did with your hands was hot~"
  694. 694.
    "Shut up."
  695. 695.
    >Sit up again.
  696. 696.
    >Sombra giggles and enjoys her afterglow.
  697. 697.
    "What are we going to do, Sombra..."
  698. 698.
    >"Hmm?"
  699. 699.
    >Lie back and put your hands behind your head.
  700. 700.
    "Two days ago I was sat at home reading books and just existing. Now I'm lying on the floor of a palace after round two with an alleged 'diabolical overlord' that I was supposed to kill."
  701. 701.
    >"Wouldn't have happened if you'd just killed me."
  702. 702.
    "Fuck you."
  703. 703.
    >"Literally just did~"
  704. 704.
    >Grunt in response.
  705. 705.
    >"Look, I'm a simple mare with simple tastes. I want an empire, an army, and a hoof massage. So then you show up and turn that on its head."
  706. 706.
    "How have I turned it on its head?"
  707. 707.
    >"By... you know, being nice to me. Reading, making me smile. All that good stuff..."
  708. 708.
    "Jesus, you have the emotional depth of a teenager."
  709. 709.
    >Check your watch.
  710. 710.
    "It's been like... twenty hours since we met.
  711. 711.
    >She looks at you sadly.
  712. 712.
    >"Well what am I supposed to do? I feel like I need you in my life even though we've only known each other for a day."
  713. 713.
    "Maybe you're just lonely."
  714. 714.
    >"If I was, would that really change how I feel about you?"
  715. 715.
    >...
  716. 716.
    >"Let's just... stay together."
  717. 717.
    "But--"
  718. 718.
    >"We'll sort out the food problem when it happens, Anonymous..."
  719. 719.
    >The mare looks into your eyes.
  720. 720.
    >"What have you got to lose?"
  721. 721.
    >Hm.
  722. 722.
    >Not much, to be frank.
  723. 723.
    >No job, since no one will hire you and Celestia pays you since you're technically the ambassador to your people.
  724. 724.
    >A pretty dumpy house in the lower levels of Canterlot.
  725. 725.
    >You keep getting dragged into shenanigans by the royal family.
  726. 726.
    >At least here you can unwind a bit.
  727. 727.
    >Even if it is with an emotionally unstable, highly volatile, tyrannical wanna-be overlord.
  728. 728.
    >Look down at your smelly, flawed, bright-eyed partner.
  729. 729.
    >She lets out a short, soft laugh.
  730. 730.
    >"President of my fanclub... really?"
  731. 731.
    >You chuckle.
  732. 732.
    "It was the best thing I could think of on my feet."
  733. 733.
    >"You're weird, you know that?"
  734. 734.
    "So are you."
  735. 735.
    >...
  736. 736.
    "What, no venomous comeback?"
  737. 737.
    >"I don't feel like fighting."
  738. 738.
    >Blink.
  739. 739.
    "Well that's new."
  740. 740.
    >"Oh shush, we've been together a day, you don't even know me."
  741. 741.
    "No, I don't."
  742. 742.
    >"...But I'd like you to."
  743. 743.
    >...
  744. 744.
    >You sigh and squeeze her closer to you with an arm.
  745. 745.
    >Stare at the ceiling with what is apparently now your partner resting on you.
  746. 746.
    >Hell of a way to start the week.
  747. 747.
    >Food is going to be a serious issue soon.
  748. 748.
    >Celestia will no doubt want to track you down.
  749. 749.
    >And you don't even have any clothes.
  750. 750.
    >Then again, you also have an entire empire to yourselves.
  751. 751.
    >Look down at Sombra.
  752. 752.
    >She's snoozing against you.
  753. 753.
    >The unsettled look she wore the previous night has vanished.
  754. 754.
    >She seems almost content now.
  755. 755.
    >Still dangerously unstable.
  756. 756.
    >And angry.
  757. 757.
    >But content.
  758. 758.
    >You?
  759. 759.
    >Well, you just became the proud co-owner of an empire.
  760. 760.
    >That has to count for something, right?
  761. 761.
    >Sure, not everything turned out well, but at least it's an fun change of pace.
  762. 762.
    >Sombra coos softly in her sleep.
  763. 763.
    >She's an interesting mare.
  764. 764.
    >Certainly more so than the other partners you've had since you showed up here.
  765. 765.
    >And definitely more easily agitated.
  766. 766.
    >But she's got a weird sort of appeal about her.
  767. 767.
    >Maybe it's the eyes.
  768. 768.
    >Plus, you broke a world record and got yourself a marefriend within 20 hours of meeting her.
  769. 769.
    >If you had friends, they'd no doubt be patting you on the back.
  770. 770.
    >Throughout your thoughts, you find yourself smiling.
  771. 771.
    >Looks like you were right, though.
  772. 772.
    >This whole thing -did- end in sex.
  773. 773.
     
  774. 774.
    The End.

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