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[FLUTTERRAPE] Cadence Is Terrible
By NebulusCreated: 2021-07-16 21:31:33
Updated: 2021-07-04 17:59:31
Expiry: Never
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Originally uploaded to Pastebin: January 18th, 2015
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>"HI ANON!"
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"Oooooh... That's not what I needed to wake up to..."
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>You cover both your eyes with the palms of your hands and try to block out the horribly grating voice in your ears.
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>"I REPLACED ALL YOUR CEREAL WITH SOUP!"
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>Remove your hands and stare blankly at Cadence, who is stood gleefully on your chest beaming down at you.
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"Is it at least nice soup...?"
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>"Nope! It's motor oil and tomato ketchup!"
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>Reach up and grab her neck lazily.
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>She doesn't really react as you try to choke her to death.
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>You're too tired to squeeze very hard, so all you really end up doing is massaging her neck.
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>"Oooh~ that's nice, Anon."
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"Stop enjoying this. These are not fun times for you."
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>"Can we do something fun now?"
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"No. Fuck fun."
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>You throw the covers aside and climb out of bed.
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>Cadence sits happily on your bed and watches you lumber around looking for clothes.
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"Where are my socks...?"
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>"I fed them all to the dog!"
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"I don't have a dog."
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>"I also got you a dog!"
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"NYYYUUGH."
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>Stomp downstairs.
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>Trip over the poodle at the foot of them.
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>It squeals and starts running around in circles madly.
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>As expected, it's pink, fluffy, and is covered in bows.
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>You watch it dash around for a bit.
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>It pauses for a moment and gives you a big dopey look.
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"You aren't a dog. You're a sin against canine-kind."
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>The poodle barks.
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>Cadence appears next to you.
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>"I called her Mistress Thunderbutts!"
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"But why?"
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>"Because!"
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>She skips past you and into your kitchen.
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>-Your- kitchen, that is.
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>Step past Mistress Thunderbutts and shoo Cadence away from your fridge.
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>Open it and behold the contents.
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>"I replaced all your food with healthy alternatives!"
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>It's just pictures of Cadence's vagina.
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>Give her a sad look.
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"I'm going to starve, Cadence."
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>"Cool!"
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"You don't even care anymore, do you?"
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>Mistress Thunderbutts barks.
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>Cadence gasps.
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>"She wants feeding! Quick, feed her some pussy!"
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>The princess grabs a hoof-full of selfies and stuffs them down the dog's throat.
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>You watch the spectacle in awe.
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>Glance outside for a second.
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>Shining Armour is glued to the window, giving Cadence a longing look.
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"Uhh, your husband's outside."
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>"Pffft."
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"What, you don't care about him either?"
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>"All that matters is you and I, silly! Look, we even have a dog!"
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>You look at Mistress Thunderbutts.
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>She's twitching on the floor with scraps of marepussy on her face.
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>Cadence turns to you.
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>"Now all we need to do is get married!"
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"But polygamy's illegal in Equestria."
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>Her right eye twitches, though her demeanour stays the same.
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>Hurriedly, she grabs a picture of her stuffing a cucumber down her throat, turns it over and scribbles something on the back in pencil.
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>' polygamy legal now '
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>"Th-there! Now it's legal! I'm the princess, I can do what I want!"
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>"Cadence...? Can you come home and make me breakfast?"
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>"SHUT THE FUCK UP SHINING ARMOUR! Haha! Isn't he a joker, Anon?!"
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>"But I'm hungry..."
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>Cadence strokes your leg.
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>"J-just come with me, Anon! We can be happy! We can even share the bed with each other! Shining Armour can watch!"
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>Mistress Thunderbutts coughs a few times then goes limp.
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"I think our dog just died."
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>Cadence doesn't react.
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"It's like a metaphor for our failing relationship."
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>"OOOOH WHERE DID I GO WRONG?!"
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>Cadence rushes over to the kitchen drawers and levitates out every single knife.
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>"I SHOULD JUST KILL MYSELF RIGHT HERE!"
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>Sip the tea that was apparently in your hand and watch her.
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>...
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>She looks between you and the knives before stuffing them back in the drawers.
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>"B-but we can still save our relationship!"
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"I used to have a normal life."
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>"We just need to see a counsellor!"
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"Think I even had a girlfriend once."
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>"Wait! -I'm- a qualified counsellor! I'm a -love- counsellor!"
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"She was brunette, I think. Lovely girl."
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>"Anon I think we should fuck on the couch to save our relationship! You can even spank me with the dog!"
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>She levitates Mistress Thunderbutts up to your face and waggles her lifeless body around.
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"If I wasn't so jaded I might find this sorta distressing."
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>You sip your tea.
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"As it stands I just don't care."
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>"Caaadeeence--"
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>"NOT NOW SHINING ARMOUR!"
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>The mare hovers up to your face and kisses you on the lips.
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>"There! All better!"
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>She twitches.
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>"Can we go home now and fuck in the throne room?"
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"No."
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>"AAUUUUUUUGGGHHH!"
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>The princess collapses, dropping the dog in the process, and starts sobbing at your feet.
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>"I-I just want us to be happy!"
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>Stare stoically into the distance.
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"I was happy once..."
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>Pick up the princess and carry her to the front door.
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>She doesn't make any effort to resist as you gently place her on the front doorstep and pat her on the head.
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"Shhh, little pony. That'll do."
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>Shining Armour drags himself along the floor, clearly famished from the whole morning he's had to endure without his wife.
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>He latches onto her like a limpet and the two both cry.
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>You decide to place Mistress Thunderbutts on top of the quivering ponies for good measure.
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>Slowly close the door and lock it.
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>Walk back into the kitchen.
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>Get out some motor oil and tomato ketchup soup.
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>And eat it glumly.
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>You miss Ponyville.
by Nebulus
by Nebulus
by Nebulus
by Nebulus