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/kinder/ The Twi-tistic meltdown

By Wall-o-text
Created: 2023-10-27 22:44:52
Expiry: Never
anonsafe/kinder/comedyanonymoustwilightkinderquestriakinderautismsilly

  1. >sometimes all of ponyville holds a big town-wide game of pretend
  2. >all that really means just pretend fighting (no contact of course)
  3. >and anon LOVED it
  4. >he loved it so much that he started ordering cosplay outfits from rarity just to get more into the feel of it
  5. >but this isn’t where our story begins
  6. >no, not in the slightest
  7. >for you see, twilight made the grave mistake of giving anon an amulet
  8. >and not just any amulet mind you
  9. >but an amulet that can perform some pretty aesthetic spells
  10. >nothing more than teleportation and sound and lights
  11. >sadly for twilight, this would be one of her biggest mistakes
  12. “Twi, I can’t play until you hit my summon sign”
  13. >twilight was secretly an avid dark snowpity fan
  14. >from her perspective, she thought this was bound to be a cool adventure with her new side kick
  15. >but brewing within anons mind is a scheme to really piss her off
  16. >twilight was surely autistic
  17. >she had to have been
  18. >anon had never seen someone go on such long and detailed rants about the most mundane stuff in her stupid pony videogames
  19. >but there’s nothing in this world that really wrecks her autistic brain as much as one thing
  20. >inconsistancy
  21. >and there’s nothing more inconsistent to her than crossovers
  22. >sometimes she gets so twi-tistic that when she sees spike reading one of those mass produced crossover comics she has to go on a walk just to cool down
  23. >and today, anon knew just how to get her good
  24. >”OOH! This is gonna be so FUN!”
  25. >she playfully taps the glowing squiggles on the ground playing along with anons newfound abilities
  26. >anon disappears only for him to rise from the ground gracefully
  27. >thought for twilight, seeing him do the ‘praise the sun’ pose despite having a white sign has already gave her a good dose of annoyance
  28. >though if that weren’t enough, anon had decided to change outfits (magically of couse) in the time it took for him to rise from his summon sign
  29. >”anon… what is… that…”
  30. >her disappointment is obvious
  31. “Cmon twi, I thought i would switch it up a little bit”
  32. >”REALLY, HERD FORTRESS 2???”
  33. “... gotta admit it’s stylish…”
  34. >her scrunch is immeasurable and her tone is venomous
  35. >”it just doesn’t fit…”
  36. “But twi, I love playing scout”
  37. >anon absolutely hated scout but he had to do it for the bit
  38. >”fine…”
  39.  
  40. >anon and twilight roam around town waiting to surprise attack any nearby contenders
  41. >’fights’ sprawl around town consisting of imaginary weapons and lots of vocal sound effects
  42. >twilight unenthusiastically leads anon towards pinkie pie
  43. >currently she is having an absolute BLAST
  44. >swinging her big, uh, i’m not sure maybe it’s like a really big sword, I can’t read her mind honestly
  45. >but basically she’s fighting off derpy and fluttershy
  46. >the only reason she hasn’t flat out won yet is because derpy doesn’t understand the rules and never back down and fluttershy is way to cautious to try
  47. >twilight turns to anon to reveal her plan
  48. >”okay anon, im going to loop around behind pinkie while she’s distracted and sneak attack”
  49. >”I need you to distract her in case anything goes wrong”
  50. “Got it“
  51. >anon in fact, did not get it
  52. >anon planned for nothing more than to annoy her
  53. >following her plans would defeat that purpose
  54. >as twilight pretended to be sneaky (which always worked for who knows what reason) anon had another plan in mind
  55. >just as twilight was about to get in position, anon pulled out his imaginary rocket launcher and made his (vocal) attack
  56. “WOOSH”
  57. >flutters pinkie and derpy all looked towards anon
  58. >anon spread out his arms to mimic an explosion effect (saying boom super loud is too evil even for anon)
  59. >with smiles on their faces they all play along, even derpy had a huge grin as she flung her front hooves up and rolled backwards
  60. >by the time it was all over they were all giggling and having a fun time
  61. >anon saw twilight peak around the corner of her surprise attack spot with shock
  62. >but he had one more little trick up his sleeve
  63. “CAT BEANZ!”
  64. >twilight’s face was motionless
  65. >anon cringed horribly inside but he REALLY needed to pull this off
  66. >derpy rolls over and faces anon while still on the ground
  67. “OH! THAT’S DEMO PONE’S TAUNT!”
  68. >twilight’s brain finally made it back to reality upon hearing this obvious mistake
  69. >she jumps out of her hiding spot to confront anon
  70. >”THAT’S NOT WHAT HE SAYS, NOT ONLY DOES SCOUT NOT DO THAT TAUNT, BUT DEMO PONE SAYS KA-BOOM, EVERYPONY KNOWS THAT”
  71. >anon feigns ignorance
  72. “But, but I thought that’s what he says…”
  73. >twilight tries everything she can to suppress her anger at anons clear disrespect of her glorious franchise
  74. >sucks for her that she’s twi-tistic and is about to have a melt down
  75. >”THAT. IS. NOT. WHAT. HE. SAYS!”
  76. >anon and the other three look at twi a little surprised
  77. >twilight grumbles before looking back at anon
  78. >”I’m not playing with you anymore if you don’t play it right…”
  79. >anon actually kind of starts to feel bad for pissing her off so much
  80. “Alright, I’m sorry twi, i’ll play the game the way you want from now on”
  81. >twilight seemd content with that answer for now
  82. >it’s too bad anon has short term memory loss
  83.  
  84. >team anon and twi finally made it to town square
  85. >the place with the most action
  86. >and anon had to scramble his brain in order to come up with something else to because he was running out of material
  87. >”okay anon, listen, town square is filled, im thinking if you back me up with healing spells I can take on some of the fighters on the outskirts”
  88. >”We can make our way in slowly and then we can take the winners crown for ourselves”
  89. >now, the winners crown was simply a cardboard crown colored with markers
  90. >but to the residents of ponyville, to win that crown is a symbol of high status
  91. >not that anypony else is low status, that would be mean
  92. >anyways, anon had to come up with something but he was running out of time
  93. >twilights plans were essentially already in motion so he had to play along for a little bit
  94. >as twilight swung her imaginary sword with autistic vril her opponents played along and fell back with each swing
  95. >but unlike her opponents, when twilight is hit she simply looks to you to ‘heal’ her so she can keep playing indefinitely
  96. >this goes on for a little while until you find a golden opportunity
  97. >a lone changeling, clearly nervous to be in ponyville all alone
  98. >he looks on at the crowd completely unaware of your gaze
  99. >he seemed like he was anxious to join in but was worried about something
  100. >this was perfect
  101. “D CLASS SPOTTED”
  102. >everypony turns to you and stops fighting
  103. >the lone changeling whips his head around to face you
  104. >you get in position to fire your ki blast
  105. “Kaaaaa, Maaaaaae, Haaaaaaa, Maaaaaae…”
  106. >you fire your imaginary kamehameha towards the changeling (within a reasonable volume of course)
  107. “HAAAAAAAAA!”
  108. >everypony’s eyes track the imaginary blast as it goes straight towards him
  109. >his face lights up with joy as he prepares his part in the play
  110. >he stands up on his hind legs, twirls around with his front leg on his forehead then falls over and lets his tongue hang out
  111. >but he still keeps one eye open to see everyones reaction
  112. >twilight grits her teeth and slowly turns to you
  113. >now was your chance
  114. >in your most overly exaggerated voice you spoke
  115. “Counter-terrorists win!”
  116. >her face fills with red as she grits
  117. >now this would have been funny under any other circumstance
  118. >but you see there’s one little issue
  119. >her eyes are teary
  120. >for normal ponies that means sad
  121. >but for somepony with horse autism that meant an incoming meltdown
  122. >she huffs and puffs before shouting
  123. >”NONE *HUFF* OF *HUFF* THOSE *HUFF* THINGS *HUFF* EVEN *HUFF* GO *HUFF*TOGETHERRRRRrrrrrrrrrrrrraaaaAAAAAAAAAAHHHHhhhhh”
  124. >twilight stomps her hooves in a tantrum
  125. >”THEY. DONT. FIT. TOGETHER. THEY. DONT. FIT!!!!!!”
  126. >she sprawls out on the ground continuing her tantrum
  127. >now anon surely felt bad
  128. >but he REALLY has to finish out the bit
  129. “Twi, wait, I’m sorry, it’s just that…”
  130. >she looks up at you from the ground still bitterly angry at anon not being as much of a puritan as she is about her favorite media
  131. >”JUST WHAT!”
  132. >the final strike is about to commence
  133. “It’s just that, I haven’t even done my taunt after the takedown”
  134. >twilights eyes look like they’re on fire
  135. >both her and anon know what comes next
  136. “CAT BEA-”
  137. >her rage boils over so much that she starts frothing at the mouth
  138. >everypony panics, including that one changeling, though he looks like he’s pretty clueless about what’s going on so he’s having fun
  139. >anon panics thinking he just fried twilights purple brain from so much cringe
  140. >suddenly a nurse red heart runs up to twilight
  141. >she grabs an emergency canteen of chocolate milk and pours it onto twilights lips slowly
  142. >as twilight slowly comes back from her autistic HYPER meltdown she starts to just barely move her mouth around to lap up the chocolate milk
  143. >after a few seconds pass she starts to gain back her motor control and grabs the canteen and chugs it for all it’s worth
  144.  
  145. >the aftermath was a mixed bag
  146. >twilight had to go to the hospital, apparently chocolate milk and cookies were needed to keep her healthy after such an intense meltdown and she needed to be monitored for a bit
  147. >on the other hand, anon’s performance wowed everypony so much they all decided to give him the victory crown for this months game
  148. >anon made friends with that one changeling and got him to socialize around ponyville after the game officially ended
  149. >at least anon did one good thing
  150. >but honestly, one good thing didn’t make up for how bad he felt
  151. >hey, anon might be retarded but he’s not stupid, he still had a conscience
  152.  
  153. >anon entered twilights hospital room
  154. “Um, hey twi…”
  155. >she looks at him all grumpy like
  156. >”what do YOU want…”
  157. >little did twilight know, anon had something behind his back just for her
  158. “Twilight… you’ve been a really good friend to me for a long time now”
  159. “You even put up with me all day even after i was so mean to you, I kind of got carried away and i’m ~actually~ sorry for it this time…”
  160. >twilight is still silent and refuses to look anon in the eye
  161. “I know you’re mad, but i figured i would give you something that rightfully belongs to you”
  162. >her eyes flick towards anon but her head stays facing the window
  163. >anon pulls out the victory crown and presents it to Twilight
  164. “I think you deserve this twi, I wouldn’t have made it outside the front door if it weren’t for your quick thinking”
  165. “...we were a team after all, and besides, this crown represents more than just victory, but also how good of a team member you really are”
  166. >twilight looks down for a moment only to look back up with a big smile
  167. >”I, I… Thanks anon!”
  168. >though she didn’t say much, her smile said it all…
  169. The End :D

The Preservation of Innocence (Part 1)

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The Preservation of Innocence (Part 2)

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The Preservation of Innocence (Part 3)

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The Preservation of Innocence (Part 4)

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The Preservation of Innocence (Part 5)

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