It's a Ponk Life


                                            Part I:

                                            >It was a warm Friday afternoon at Canterlot High

                                            >You just finished another grueling soccer club session under the iron fist of Rainbow Dash.

                                            >That blue bitch is too competitive for her own good.

                                            >Your legs were so sore that you could barely walk.

                                            >One of these days you were going to kick her arrogant rainbow ass right into the goal net.

                                            >You head to the cafeteria to pick up a well-earned snack.

                                            "Ugh. I'm so hungry I could eat a-"

                                            >"HORSE?"

                                            >Pinkie Pie bursts through a ceiling tile and hangs upside down right in front of you.

                                            >She stares you right in the eyes with a bright smile on her face.

                                            >You scream and fall on your ass.

                                            "D-Damnit Pinkie! I told you to stop doing that shit!"

                                            >You stumble to your feet and angrily brush yourself off.

                                            >Her smile melts into a frown as she climbs down to block your path to the cafeteria.

                                            >"Geez Nonny you're no fun anymore."

                                            >She crosses her arms and pouts.

                                            >It didn't take long for your gaze to drift towards her ample bosom.

                                            >Those pink milkers were practically spilling over her forearms, barely contained by a flimsy white party shirt.

                                            >You wouldn't say you were attracted to Pinkie Pie per say, but she was quite the looker in her own right.

                                            >It also didn't take long for Pinkie to notice your lewd staring.

                                            >She playfully bounces her chest towards you with a mischevious grin.

                                            >"Oh Nonny, if you wanted to have a private party, all you had to do was ask!"

                                            >Your face turns redder than all of the apples in Sweet Apple Acres.


                                            Part II:

                                            >You push her into some nearby lockers and look her straight in the eye.

                                            >She blushes while averting your angry gaze.

                                            >"Wow Nonny, I didn't think you liked doing naughty things in public."

                                            >She gently wraps her arms around your back and holds you tight.

                                            >"You always struck me as the kind of guy that would rather have closet cuddles."

                                            >Her beautiful blue eyes sparkle with desire and determination.

                                            >You place your trembling hands on her shoulders.

                                            >"B-But if this is what you really want Nonnynums, t-then I'll do it. Just for you."

                                            >The bell rings but neither of you pay attention to it.

                                            "Pinkie..."

                                            >You could barely choke out a whisper at this point.

                                            >"Mmmmyes Nonny?" she coos back.

                                            "I DON'T LIKE YOU!"

                                            >You push her away from you as though she were a literal thorn in your side.

                                            >Her petite body slams into the lockers with violent force.

                                            >Pinkie's mouth hangs open in shock as you begin your verbal assault.

                                            "EVERY FUCKING DAY YOU POP OUT OF GOD KNOWS WHERE LIKE SOME KIND OF SADISTIC JACK-IN-THE BOX TO SCARE THE SHIT OUT OF ME!"

                                            >Your classmates slowly pour out of their home rooms and begin to gather around the disturbance in the hallway.

                                            "YOU'RE ALWAYS SO BUBBLY AND CAREFREE ABOUT EVERYTHING. YOU COULD BE DANCING AND SINGING SONGS WHILE SOMEONE'S HOUSE BURNS DOWN IN THE BACKGROUND. IT MAKES ME SICK!"

                                            >The students look on in stunned silence at this horrifying scene.

                                            "AND WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU ALWAYS CLINGING TO ME? YOU'RE NOT MY GIRLFRIEND! HELL, I DON'T EVEN CONSIDER YOU A FRIEND ANYMORE!"

                                            >Pinkie is cowering in tears at this point, but you're too consumed with rage to care.

                                            "YOU'RE JUST A SCATTERBRAINED-"

                                            >The mane 6 emerge from the crowds.

                                            "OVERINDULGENT-"

                                            >An angry Rainbow Dash rolls up her sleeves and clenches her fists.

                                            "SWEET-TOOTHED-"

                                            >Sunset Shimmer clutches the pocketknife in her coat pocket.

                                            "OBNOXIOUS WHORE THAT DESERVES TO STAY SINGLE FOREVER!"

                                            >Pinkie Pie completely breaks down and runs away screaming.

                                            >You feel a chill running down your spine and instinctively turn around.

                                            >The surrounding students glared angrily at you.

                                            >Pinkie's friends run after her down the hallway and disappear around a corner.

                                            >Maud Pie instantly pops up in front of you.

                                            >"Anonymous, that was the most disgusting, selfish, and heartless thing I've ever seen at Canterlot High. You put the sirens to shame."

                                            >Her speech was monotone as usual, but you could sense the anger behind her words.

                                            >She walks away to join her sister and their friends.

                                            >You stand there dumbfounded as the gravity of the situation hits you.


                                            Part III:

                                            >What have you done?

                                            >You quickly scurry out of sight and retreat to the front courtyard.

                                            >The setting sun feels warm on your face. Birds chirp happily in the distance. Cars eagerly chug along the streets to their destinations.

                                            >You, however, felt like a piece of shit on the shiny kitchen floor that is society.

                                            >Pinkie Pie may be an amorous clingy ditz, but she did NOT deserve the verbal ass-whoopin' you delivered unto her.

                                            >The pink party girl simply wasn't your type, but her friend Fluttershy certainly was.

                                            >You figured it would be easier to get close to Fluttershy by becoming friends with her friends.

                                            >Boy did that backfire, spectacularly in fact. Turns out Fluttershy had no romantic interest in you whatsoever, but Pinkie Pie sure as hell did.

                                            >What can you do to fix this? Is it even possible to fix this?

                                            >Her friends wouldn't help you. Not after that heated display of contempt.

                                            >You'd pretty much made an enemy of every single person in Canterlot High.

                                            >The following Monday you arrive on campus in complete silence.

                                            >You avoid eye contact with everyone as you hastily make your way towards your homeroom.

                                            >*SLAM!* The wooden door practially flies off of its hinges.

                                            >You look up. Bulk Biceps emerges from homeroom. That white hulking muscular frame of his never failed to amaze you. Bulk quickly points at you and then pounds his fist into his open hand.

                                            >"YEAAAAAAHHHH!" he angrily shouts.

                                            >Sounds like he plans on beating you into a bloody pulp by the end of the day.

                                            >Strangely enough, after looking back at what you did to Pinkie Pie, you feel no fear of that prospect.

                                            >The bell rings and you take your seat. Everyone is still glaring daggers at you. Well, ALMOST everyone.

                                            >You notice a vacant desk near the front of the classroom.

                                            >Ms. Cheerilee taps a ruler on her desk to get everyone's attention.

                                            >"Good morning students. I suppose you're all wondering why it's so quiet in here today."

                                            >Ms. Cheerilee holds up a hand-written note.

                                            >"Pinkie Pie is absent, and at the behest of her father, won't be returning to class until next week at the earliest."

                                            >The class groaned and slumped into their seats.

                                            >Pinkie Pie was the one student that could make ANYTHING into a fun party. Even boring ass high school classes.

                                            >Your Friday fiasco with Pinkie had a startling ripple effect on everyone in Canterlot High.

                                            >You need to make up with Pinkie and fast.

                                            >But you are the LAST person on earth (and in Equestria) that she would want to see right now.

                                            >Your only chance of making things right was to talk to her friends.

                                            >Would they even entertain the idea of listening to anything you have to say?


                                            Part IV:

                                            >You decide to talk to Applejack first.

                                            >As the honest one of the group, she'll at least be willing to tell you how badly you fucked up.

                                            >With a little luck, she might also tell you how to make amends with Pinkie Pie.

                                            >The lunch bell rings. You bolt up from your desk and run into the cafeteria.

                                            >Part of you was expecting Pinkie Pie to jump out at you from a nearby trash can or locker.

                                            >Force of habit? You push open the cafeteria doors and head inside.

                                            >Dozens of students mingle and wander around the cafeteria.

                                            >The garbled noise of voices blending together wreaks havoc on your eardrums.

                                            >That's when you see her. The trademark leather cowboy hat stuck out like a sore thumb.

                                            >You weave in and out of the crowds and sit down at her table.

                                            >Applejack stares at you like you just kicked her dog across the room.

                                            >There was a long awkward silence. You fiddle with your red tie and try to start the conversation.

                                            "H-Hi Applejack. I was wondering if you c-could-"

                                            >"What? Hogtie Pinkie Pie so ya could rough her up again?"

                                            >She squeezes her unopened soda can so hard that it explodes in her hand.

                                            >Note to self: never piss off Applejack.

                                            >"Ah'm gonna be honest with ya Anonymous. NONE of us want to talk to y'all right now. Even Fluttershy has some choice words for ya, and none of 'em are very ladylike."

                                            "Fluttershy too?"

                                            >Your heart sinks. The kindest, most beautiful girl in school wouldn't at least TRY to hear you out? Your very soul cries out in agony.

                                            "What can I do Applejack? I know fucked up, but how can I apologize when none of you are even willing to talk?"

                                            >The country bumpkin raises an eyebrow.

                                            >"Y'all really wanna say yer sorry? Kinda hard ta believe Anonymous. Why didn't ya apologize for the time ya gave Sunset Shimmer a swirly last summer?"

                                            >You facepalm and grit your teeth.

                                            >"Or the time ya replaced Pinkie's jello cup with super glue? Or the time ya put itching powder in Rainbow Dash's gym shorts?"

                                            >The bad memories came flooding back. You were quite the antagonistic little shit back then.

                                            >"Or the time ya put chocolate laxatives in Derpy's muffins? Or the time-"

                                            "ALRIGHT I GET IT!"

                                            >You slam your fists on the table. Some students turn to see what kind of trouble you're stirring up this time.

                                            >Oh no. Not again. You had to calm down. NOW.

                                            >You take a deep breath and straighten your tie.

                                            "In my defense, Sunset was bullying Fluttershy. No sane human being would let such a heinous deed go unpunished. Besides, Sunset wasn't exactly a sweet ball of sunshine back then."

                                            >Applejack couldn't help but giggle at your terrible pun.

                                            >"Ah suppose. Alright Anon, if yer serious about makin' amends with Pinkie, then Ah'll do what Ah can to help ya."


                                            Part V:

                                            >School's finally out, and not a minute too soon.

                                            >Thankfully principle Celestia was leaving around the same time, otherwise Bulk Biceps would've sent you to the ER.

                                            >You head towards Sweet Apple Acres to meet up with Applejack as planned.

                                            >Hundreds of apple trees greet you with a stunning display of purple, orange and yellow leaves.

                                            >Autumn truly was a beautiful season.

                                            >"Howdy Anon!" Applejack calls out to you from the barn.

                                            >She's tinkering with a box full of...something.

                                            "Hey Applejack. Sorry I'm late. The hallway traffic was murder."

                                            >"Yer jokes are staler than month-old apple bread." Applejack grins and rolls her eyes.

                                            "So, what's the plan?" You eagerly ask.

                                            >"Ah was thinkin' we could butter her up some."

                                            "Butter? Damn, she's got some weird kinks."

                                            >"Not what Ah meant dum-dum."

                                            >Applejack sighs as she pulls out a small wooden box from the clutter.

                                            >She hands the box to you. It's covered in intrictate hand-carved depictions of apples, apple trees, and apple treats. This thing belongs in a museum.

                                            >"This right here is something that's been passed down through the apple family for generations."

                                            >You hastily open the lid to see what's inside.

                                            >Your curiosity is greeted by a single sheet of yellowed paper rolled up in the center.

                                            >Applejack's eyes glisten in the sunlight as you carefully remove and unroll the paper.

                                            >Your eyes dart back and forth from Applejack to the paper.

                                            "Really? THIS is going to mend my broken friendship with Pinkie Pie?"

                                            >She smiles so hard that you expected her face to fly off her skull.

                                            >"Darn tootin'! Pinkie is the kinda gal that would NEVER say no to a homemade apology gift."

                                            >You stare back at her in disbelief.

                                            "Huh. I was kind of expecting this to be a magical spell, or a treasure map leading to a mystical artifact, or SOMETHING magic-related."

                                            >Applejack giggles at the rediculous notion.

                                            >"Ah know friendship is magic, but it don't solve ALL our problems."

                                            "Fair point."

                                            >"Yup. Alright Anon sit tight for a spell. Ah'll go get the supplies."

                                            >You and Applejack spend the rest of the day putting together your 'apology' for Pinkie.

                                            >The two of you talk like old friends while you worked. It was almost as if the Friday incident didn't even happen.

                                            >For a brief moment in time, things felt normal again.

                                            >"That'll do it." Applejack places the finished project inside a large pink box and wraps it up tight.

                                            >You carefully pick up the box and walk it to your car. You turn back to Applejack.

                                            "Thanks Applejack. For everything."

                                            >"Don't thank me 'til it actually works."

                                            >She proudly crosses her arms and smiles.

                                            >"Which it will. See ya 'round Anon."

                                            >You wave back to her as you climb into your car.

                                            >With the apology project secured, you begin your journey to the Pie Family Rock Farm.

                                            >You had a feeling that Pinkie's father would shoot you on sight, but turning back was no longer an option.

                                            >You're going to make up with Pinkie, no matter what it takes.


                                            Part VI:

                                            >It feels like you've been driving for hours on end.

                                            >Just when you're about to bang your head against the steering wheel, you finally see it.

                                            >The rock farm slowly comes into view. It somehow looks darker than the rest of the town.

                                            >You pull into a gravel parking space and retrieve the apology gift.

                                            >An eerie wind blows across the rocky plains. Crows caw at you from every direction.

                                            >Was the rock farm always this unsettling?

                                            >The path to the house's front door is a dangerous one. Rocks of all shapes and sizes litter the walkway.

                                            >You feel like you're in a Mission Impossible movie as you dodge every rock, pebble and boulder.

                                            >The last thing you needed was for (mostly) Applejack's hard work to come crashing down before you even ring the doorbell.

                                            >Just when you think you're in the clear, a small rock finds its way under your right foot.

                                            "Aw shit! Who the fuck put all these rocks hEEeeeRRRRrreeEEEee!?"

                                            >You're flailing around like a circus clown as you desperately try to keep the box steady.

                                            >With the box balanced in your left arm, you quickly reach for the doorbell with your right.

                                            >*squish*

                                            >Okay, this is NOT the doorbell.

                                            >"What are you doing here anon?"

                                            >Your eyes widen. That voice could only belong to one person.

                                            "Maud Pie? Is that you?"

                                            >Peeking around the box, you see Maud Pie standing in the now open doorframe.

                                            >Your finger was poking into her left breast. How the fuck?

                                            >"Sorry but I already have a boyfriend."

                                            >You quickly retract your hand and set the box down.

                                            "I was trying to ring the doorbell."

                                            >"We don't have a doorbell." Her deadpan tone somehow made you feel like even more of a dumbass.

                                            >You clear your throat and try to explain yourself.

                                            "Look, I know what I did to Pinkie was wrong. That's why I'm here with a peace offering."

                                            >You motion towards the pink box sitting on her porch.

                                            >Maud looks at the box with the enthusiasm of a coma patient on their way to surgery.

                                            >"Is it a rock collection?" You swore you heard a speck of enthusiasm in her question.

                                            "No. It's something for Pinkie."

                                            >Maud blinks and stares at you. What is going on in that stoic mind of hers?

                                            >"Upstairs. Second door on the right."

                                            >She steps back into the house and opens the front door.

                                            >"Good luck Anonymous."

                                            >You thank her, pick up the box, and step into the house.

                                            >Suddenly you stop in your tracks. A delicate gray hand clamped onto your shoulder with an iron grip.

                                            >Maud had the strength of a mule and then some!

                                            >"One more thing. Don't let my dad catch you here. Pops said something about burying you alive if he ever caught you around us again."

                                            >You swallow hard. Just when you thought being shot in the face was bad enough.

                                            "Thanks for the heads-up Maud. I a-appreciate it."

                                            >She nods and closes the door behind you.


                                            Part VII:

                                            >The Pie household is like something straight out of a horror game.

                                            >Creepy old portraits and pictures line the halls. It felt like their eyes followed your every move.

                                            >Old-fashioned wick lanterns cast eerie glows from the overhanging rafters.

                                            >Dusty white sheets covered the vintage furniture in every room.

                                            >The old staircase creaked and groaned with every step you took.

                                            >You were expecting an angry man with an axe to smash through a wall and chase you around the property.

                                            >*CHING!* *CHING!* CHING!*

                                            >What the fuck was that? Your heart jumps into your throat.

                                            >You hastily back away from the noise, only to trip and fall back down the stairs.

                                            >The box flies out of your hands and hurtles down the stairs after you.

                                            *Goofy screaming noises*

                                            >Your body hits the wooden flooring with a loud THUD!

                                            "Ow."

                                            >The pink box lands softly next to you in one piece.

                                            >You frantically open the box and check on your gift. Miraculously, everything looks like it's intact.

                                            >Taking a deep breath, you stumble to your feet and adjust your tie. You pick up the box and hold it close.

                                            >Time to climb the damn stairs again. Hopefully with less falling down this time.

                                            >Your mind ping-pongs between thoughts with every step you take.

                                            >Would Pinkie like the gift? What if her father intercepts you before you can even present it to her? What if one of her sisters tries to kidnap or kill you out of spite?

                                            >You finally reach the top after what felt like hours.

                                            >*CHING!* You jump again. A small wooden clock chimes on the table next you. So THAT'S what almost killed you.

                                            >You look down the dark corridor. There are 6 doors lining the walls, 3 on each side.

                                            "Maud said second door on the right...Right?"

                                            >You shrug and head for the door. Streamers, balloons, and strips of confetti line the doorframe.

                                            >Yep, this is definitely Pinkie Pie's room. You gently knock on her door.

                                            "Pinkie!" You whisper. "Pinkie are you there?"

                                            >Silence.

                                            "Pinkie, this is important!" You continue. "I know I'm the last person on earth that you want to talk to right now, but I just want you to know that, I-I'm sorry."

                                            >Your heartfelt apology is met with more silence.

                                            >You sigh with defeat and turn around to set the box down. Now what do you do?

                                            >The door silently opens behind you as you tend to the box.

                                            >Suddenly a pink hand reaches out of the darkness and grabs you by the back of your tie.

                                            "What the FU-ACK!?"

                                            >You're pulled into the void that is Pinkie's room with lightning speed.

                                            >The back of your head hits the hard wooden flooring. Then everything goes black.

                                            >The door slams, and the corridor lies in silence.

                                            >A long moment passes before the door opens once more, and the pink hand quickly grabs your gift box.

                                            >The door slams again, leaving the corridor in silence for real this time.


                                            Part VIII:

                                            >"nony...s...Anon....mous..."

                                            >The muffled sounds of Pinkie's voice begin to permeate your mind.

                                            "Ugh...P-Pinkie Pie? Is that you?"

                                            >You clutch at your throbbing skull as though it were about to fall off.

                                            >With a bit of effort you sit up and look around the room., or at least you THINK you are.

                                            >Her room was so dark that you couldn't tell if your eyes were open or not.

                                            >"ANONYMOUS!"

                                            >Pinkie Pie jumpscares her way right into your blurry field of view.

                                            "AAAAAUUUUGH!"

                                            >You stumble backwards off the bed and hit the floor. Again.

                                            "Pinkie! How many times do I have to tell...to tel..to..."

                                            >Your brain shuts down at the bewildering sight in front of you.

                                            >Pinkie Pie loomed over you with disdain as she crossed her arms and snorted.

                                            >She wore a sleeveless pink turtleneck sweater with matching pink thigh-high socks and long sleeve gloves.

                                            >Her beautiful pink hair, once poofy and proud, now drooped behind her back as though it were a wet blanket.

                                            >Maybe your eyes were in backwards, but it didn't look like she was wearing panties.

                                            >"Why the fuck are you here you bastard?" Her swearing catches you off guard. When was the last time you heard Pinkie swear?

                                            "I-I came to apologize Pinkie. I swear!"

                                            >She picks you up off the floor and slams you into her bedroom wall.

                                            >*WHAM!* The impact rattles the trinkets sitting on her old oak dresser.

                                            >"And why should I suddenly believe this change of heart?" She cocks her head to the side. "Especially after you broke MINE?!?"

                                            >Her eyes bug out and she starts twitching like a lunatic. Who were you kidding? She IS a lunatic.

                                            >"I've been bawling my EYES out for the past 3 days Anon. THREE FUCKING DAYS."

                                            >She tightens her grip on your shoulders. Was every member of the Pie family a fucking weightlifter?!

                                            >"I haven't thrown a party since last week! I missed my daily confetti deliveries! I can't even bake a cake without thinking about Friday! All because the guy I like ended up HATING ME!"

                                            >Her face is inches away from yours. She sighs, grits her teeth, and continues her angry rant.

                                            >"And YOU have the nerve, the BALLS, to show up at MY house with a weak half-baked apology?!"

                                            >Pinkie pushes you onto the floor. She quickly turns her back to you and holds herself.

                                            >It almost sounded like she was fighting back some sniffles. You could only imagine what was running through that pink head of hers.

                                            >Something catches your eye. All the commotion somehow opened her bedroom door. This was your chance to get the hell out of dodge!

                                            >You stumble to your feet. Instead of running however, you gently reach an arm out to comfort her.

                                            "Pinkie, I-"

                                            >"Don't call me that." She chokes through her tears. "W-We're not friends anymore, remember?"

                                            >Welp, you didn't think you could feel like a bigger piece of shit than you did on Friday, but Pinkie proved you wrong. Again.

                                            >What could you possibly say to salvage this disaster of an encounter?


                                            Part IX:

                                            >Then it hits you. The apology gift! You forgot to give her the apology gift!

                                            "Would a non-friend go through the trouble of making you THIS?"

                                            >You quickly pick up the pink box and present it to her.

                                            >Pinkie turns around with a puzzled look. Fingers crossed that she likes it.

                                            >She takes the pink box from you and looks it over carefully.

                                            >It's do or die now, and judging from Pinkie's earlier outburst, you mean that in a literal sense.

                                            >Your heart sinks as her face quickly twists back into a scowl.

                                            >"What are you playing at Anonymous? Are you trying to FOOL ME AGAIN!?"

                                            >Without a word, she takes the box and throws it right into your face.

                                            >*SPLAT*

                                            >The box explodes on contact, and with it the gift. All of your (and Applejack's) hard work just blew up in your face.

                                            >Bits splattered on the walls. Pieces landed on the floor and furniture. Blobs landed all over you and Pinkie.

                                            >The two of you stand there in shocked silence for what feels like an eternity.

                                            >She stares at you, and you stare right back at her. Neither one of you could find the right words to say.

                                            >Pinkie sniffs the surrounding air. Was she smelling what she thought she was smelling?

                                            >She licks a piece of your gift's remains off her cheek. Her eyes light up like a Christmas tree while the taste overwhelms her.

                                            >"Is this...CARAMEL APPLE FUDGE DOUBLE DUNK CAKE!?"

                                            >She jumped a foot in the air and started SQUEEing.

                                            >"It's so creamy! So chewy! So fudgey! So, so APPLEY!"

                                            >Her petite frame began dancing around the room like she was in heaven.

                                            >That glorious pink rack of hers bounced and jiggled in a way that only coked-out strippers could hope to match.

                                            >You stand there dumbfounded. Did Applejack drug this cake or what?

                                            >Then again, you'd be lying if you said you didn't enjoy the brief flashes of her crotch in between the erratic jumps and dances.

                                            >"Oh Nonny, where did you learn to make such a colossal caramelicious confection?!?"

                                            >Pinkie cups her hands on her face and squeals like a rabid fangirl.

                                            >Your thoughts drift back to earlier this afternoon at Sweet Apple Acres.

                                            "You could say a little apple taught me."

                                            >She slowly calms down and turns to face you with a somber expression.

                                            >"No one's ever baked ME a cake before." She smiles with tears in her eyes. "Thank you, Nonny."

                                            >This is it. Your one chance to say sorry before she either rapes you or kills you. Perhaps she'll do both?

                                            >Doesn't matter. It's time to make amends, Pinkie Shenanigans be damned.


                                            Part X:

                                            >You look directly into those big beautiful blue eyes of hers and took a deep breath.

                                            "Pinkamena Diane Pie, I was wrong to treat you so badly. Especially in front of the whole school."

                                            >You grab some of the cake off the wall and present it to her as though it were a mushy boquet.

                                            "Please accept the splattered remains of this Caramel Apple Fudge Double Dunk Cake as a token of my sincerest apologies."

                                            >Pinkie Pie squeals with joy and accepts the cake boquet. She quickly gobbles it down and smiles at you.

                                            >For a brief moment, things return to normal. Pinkie is grinning with gratitude and you're breathing a sigh of relief that she enjoyed your apology gift.

                                            >Five minutes pass.

                                            >Pinkie doesn't budge an inch. Her smiling face appears to be frozen in place, and her big blue eyes stare right into yours without blinking even once.

                                            >Did her brain just crash like a cheap computer? Was she lost in confectionary bliss? Or did she have a silent heart attack? You couldn't tell.

                                            >Another 5 minutes come and go.

                                            >Pinkie continues to grin at you with unblinking eyes. She stands perfectly still as though she were a mannequin.

                                            >You feel a chill running down your spine. It was time to leave, before it was too late.

                                            "Well then," you say with an awkward chuckle,"I'm glad you liked your gift, but I just remembered I got somewhere to be so I'm just gonna, *heh* let myself out."

                                            >Pinkie was beginning to give off creepytown vibes, even more so than when she was an ANGRY lunatic.

                                            >You quickly turn and jog towards the door that led to your freedom from this pink-fueled insanity.

                                            >Suddenly a cold gust splashes against your backside. Like a fool, you stop and turn around to see what was going on.

                                            >Pinkie vanished from her original spot. You started to sweat nervously. How the fuck did she move around so fast?

                                            >You turn to leave again and bump right into Pinkie Pie. She cocks her head to the side and laughs.

                                            >"Oh nonononoNO Nonny *HEHEHE*!" She exclaims with a demented tone. "You *HAHA* can't leave *HAHAHAH* yet!"

                                            >She giggles eratically as her door is quickly shut and locked. Wait, why does she have a deadbolt on her door?!

                                            "W-Why not?" You stutter.

                                            >"BecaHAHAHAuse," she chuckled,"You haven't finished your apologeeHEEHEEHEHAHAHAHAAAAA!"

                                            >Your mind races to and fro, desperate to find an exit. ANY kind of exit that will get you away from this pink psycopath.

                                            >Pinkie quickly wraps her arms around you and tosses your shivering body onto her bed.

                                            >You try to struggle, but it's no use. Pinkie is too fast and too strong for you to handle.

                                            >She gleefully ties you to her bed with reinforced party streamers and giant licorice rope. Typical Pinkie.

                                            >The psycho Ponk straddles your hips. Her deranged giggles are like nails on the chalkboard of your mind.

                                            >Pieces of her clothing fly all over the room until she's wearing nothing but a balloon hat, pool floatie, and a deranged grin that would make Jack the Ripper shit himself in terror.

                                            >"HaHahAHAHAHAha! Alright Nonny! Let's get this apology party started!"


                                            Part XI:

                                            >Pinkie immediately leans forward and slobbers all over your face like a dog eagerly greeting its master.

                                            >You couldn't help but utter a chuckle at the sloppy display of affection. She was as clumsy as she was eager.

                                            >After several failed attempts, Pinkie finally locks lips with you.

                                            >Your tongues interwine and dance around in each other's mouths.

                                            >"Mmmm Nonny *SLURP*, you *MWAH* taste sho goooooood!"

                                            >You feel her stiff nipples scraping along your chest as her boobas swing to and fro.

                                            >Pinkie's advances are beginning to wake you up downstairs.

                                            >You squirm around in a vain attempt to hide the growing tent in your trousers.

                                            >Who were you kidding? It's only a matter of time before she notices your bulge.

                                            >Then the cute sloppy foreplay will evolve into high impact sexual pink violence.

                                            >Wait a minute. Why was being sexually assaulted by an unhinged psychopath turning you on?!

                                            >Granted she was a pretty cute unhinged psychopath, but an unhinged psychopath nonetheless.

                                            >Pinkie pauses her passionate pecks and playfully pants while pondering a profound perception.

                                            >"Nonny, is that a rock in your pocket or are you just super duper happy to see me?"

                                            >She cracks a smile and playfully rubs her pussy along your erection.

                                            >You can feel a wet spot rapidly forming on your crotch. Aw shit here we go.

                                            >"I knew it knew it knew it knew it KNEW IT!" She cries. "You really DO like me~<3!"

                                            "W-Well I-"

                                            >She covers your mouth with her right hand while reaching into the deeper folds of her pink hair with her left.

                                            >Your mouth hangs open. A knife!?! Who the hell keeps knives in their hair?!

                                            >"No time for chitchat Nonny-poo!" She quickly cuts open your pants and shirt. "I want to taste ALL of you before the REAL fun starts!"

                                            >Pinkie wastes no time and begins licking you all over. She pulls some whipped cream and sprinkles from her bangs and makes a quick sundae out of you.

                                            >For fuck's sake. You were a young man, not another fancy cake to decorate!

                                            >Your body shivers with every lick and hickey she bestows upon your bare flesh.

                                            >Why God WHY? WHY was this so arousing?! Were you wrong all along? Did you actually LIKE Pinkie Pie?

                                            >She licks up the last of the whipped cream and beams at you.

                                            >"You don't know how long I've waited for this Anon." Her smile briefly disappears. "I almost gave up on you. On US."

                                            >The pained expression on her face had you slinking back into the mattress.

                                            >You really wish that Friday would just fuck off out of the current timeline and disappear forever.

                                            >"I know you probably wanted to do these things with Fluttershy."

                                            >Pinkie wipes away the tears running down her face.

                                            >"What guy wouldn't want to creampie such a kind, caring and pretty girl?"

                                            >She grabs a tissue from her hair and blows her snot out.

                                            "How did you know I liked Fluttershy?"

                                            >"You didn't exactly hide it Anon." She glares at you. "Preeeetty much everyone in school caught you making googoo eyes at her more than once."

                                            >You don't like where this is going.


                                            Part XII:

                                            >"Fluttershy is everything a guy could want and more, all wrapped up in a pReTtY YeLLoW pAcKaGE!"

                                            >Pinkie's body trembles as her rage and jealousy continue to build up.

                                            >"How's a girl like me supposed compete with HER for my sweet Nonnynums?!"

                                            >She angrily stabs the knife into the mattress, missing your face by mere inches.

                                            >"Twilight said to just 'bee myself :^)' and everything would be fine."

                                            >She continued stabbing the knife closer and closer towards your head.

                                            >"But things WEREN'T fine at all!" The knife clips your face after descending into its final resting place.

                                            >The resulting cut oozes a single bead of blood that trickles down your cheek.

                                            >"You never made the first move Nonny. I thought if I tried harder to get your attention, that one day you might-"

                                            >She pauses. The painful feelings of rejection continue to eat away at her.

                                            >You lay there in silence. This wasn't just a schoolgirl crush; Pinkie was in love with you. MADLY in love with you. Heavy emphasis on the 'MADLY' part.

                                            >Without warning, the pink beauty twists her neck and slaps her face. The serial killer smile returns with a vengeance.

                                            >"N-None of that matters now Nonny..."

                                            >She stares at you with hungry eyes, like a lion ready to pounce on its prey.

                                            >"You came back to me..." Pinkie lines up her dripping wet folds with your manhood and slowly decends.

                                            >"NOW WE CAN FINALLY BE TOGETHER!"

                                            >Pinkie immediately hilts herself onto your manmeat in one fell swoop. "AAAAANH~!" She archs back and lets loose a moan that makes your skin crawl.

                                            >"I-I'm finally one with my NoNnYNuMS!"

                                            >Holy fuckballs! You were expecting her to take you in at a much more delicate pace, but the crazy bitch just went for it.

                                            >You had to tense up every muscle in your body to stop from instantly cumming inside her.

                                            >Pinkie's red love juices begin to soak your crotch as a testament to her sexual satisfaction. Wait a minute, RED love juices?

                                            >You take a closer look. Swirls of red shades dance atop her cum as though they were alive.

                                            "Pinkie...you're a virgin?!?" The words blurt out from your mouth involuntarily.

                                            >Pinkie slowly straightens herself up with the grace of a twitching horror movie monster and looks down at the puddle.

                                            >She scoops up some of her own love juice and sensually licks it from her fingers right in front of you.

                                            >"That's riiiiiiiight~!" Her grinning lips part ways and reveal her clenched teeth.

                                            >"YoU PoPpeD mY pArTy FaVoR!"

                                            >She taps her finger into the love gravy once more and boops you on the nose.

                                            "B-But I, but you, BUT-"

                                            >You can't even begin to comprehend the shocking situation you're being swept up in.

                                            >"Whatsamatta Nonny? Didn't expect the party girl of the group to be an untouched maiden?"

                                            >You shake your sweat-covered head in disbelief.

                                            "W-Well, party girls don't usually stake their reputations on being sweet innocent virgins."

                                            >Pinkie rolls her eyes with annoyance.

                                            >"Well sorry to disappoint you, ya big dumb dorky dork."

                                            >She slowly leans in and grabs you by the tie.


                                            Part XIII:

                                            >"Now then, as Applejack would say.."

                                            >She replaces her balloon hat with one that looks VERY smiliar to Applejack's.

                                            >"GiDDy Up PaRtNeR!"

                                            >Pinkie braces herself upon your crotch and begins to bounce like a rabid kangaroo.

                                            >Her erratic riding pushes you deeper and deeper into the folds of her mattress.

                                            >The pink psycho was trying as hard as she could to break you, and she was succeeding.

                                            >The ever-building pleasure quickly ate away at the remains of your resistance.

                                            "Pinkie slow down! You don't have to try this hard to please a guy!"

                                            >Your sweaty body squirms and convulses underneath Pinkie as she continues her relentless assault on your soaked salami.

                                            >"That's so sweet of you to say Nonnynums, but I want to make our first time together extra super duper special!"

                                            >You sigh with defeat. At least she's starting to sound like her old self again.

                                            >Pinkie continues hopping on your erection as though her life depended on it.

                                            >You swear she's making horse noises under her breath.

                                            >*WHAM* *WHAM* *WHAM*

                                            >The bed creaked and groaned under the stress of Pinkie's wild dick-riding.

                                            >Her feverish pace speeds up even faster, desperate to get your liquid love inside her.

                                            >"I love you Nonny!"

                                            >*THUMP*

                                            >"ILoveYouILoveYouILoveYouILoveYouILoveYouILoveYouILoveYou I LoVE YoUUuuUUuuUUuuUuUuu!"

                                            >*THUMP*

                                            >This is the last fucking straw.

                                            >*THUMP*

                                            >You can't take it anymore.

                                            >*THUMP*

                                            >If she wants to get dicked so badly, then who were you to deny her?

                                            >*THUMP*

                                            >You begin to thrust into her with what little wiggle room you had.

                                            >Pinkie is completely caught off-guard by your sudden rage-driven lust.

                                            >"*AAHN*-Nonny!? What are you *MMPH* dOiNG?!"

                                            "I'm just giving you what you want you damn psychopath!"

                                            >You thrust into her even harder. It was time to give Pinkie a taste of her own demented medicine.

                                            >Pinkie's heart skips a beat. Did her precious lover just acknowledge his own feelings for her?

                                            >Hips slapped against hips. Juices mixed with juices. Moans merged with moans.

                                            >Pinkie tugs on your tie for dear life, which unfortunately begins turning it into a makeshift noose.

                                            >*WHAM*

                                            "ACK! P-Pinkie-!"

                                            >*WHAM*

                                            >She ignores your pained cries and bucks your bronco even harder.

                                            >*WHAM*

                                            >"Don't stop now Nonny, 'cuz we're so close to popping the piñataHahAhAHAhAHAAAAAAAAA!"

                                            >Pinkie's eyes roll into the back of her head as her frantic bouncing reaches its peak.

                                            >Your own eyes begin to roll back but for very different reasons. Life-threatening reasons to be exact.

                                            >The twisted temptress yanks ever harder on your beloved red tie.

                                            >Your eyes begin watering and small bits of foam appear at the corner's of your drying mouth.

                                            >Like it or not, you were pinned under a petite pink lunatic.

                                            >This lunatic is hellbent on shattering your pelvis with a deranged sense of "love".

                                            >'What a way to die' you thought as you begin to lose consciousness.


                                            Part XIV:

                                            >Just as your world fades to black, Pinkie slowly lifts herself off your battered schlong and grins from ear to ear.

                                            >Love juices gush from her gaping pink pussy like a miniature waterfall.

                                            >"Oh Nonnynuuuuuuums! My oven's nice and ready for a honeybun! CaN YoU gUeSS WhO gEtS tO FiLL tHiS oRdER?"

                                            >Pinkie lovingly rubs her lower belly while staring into your now-widening eyes.

                                            >Oh no. No no NO! God please NO! THIS BITCH WANTS TO BABY TRAP YOU!?

                                            >You try to shake your head, but in your weakened state, your skull barely leans to one side.

                                            >She licks her lips and slams back down onto your shaft so sharply, that it knocks the wind out of you.

                                            >The poor bed gives out and crashes to the ground as the legs snap in half.

                                            >"Wowie zowie! My brain just went POWIEEEEEEEEE~<3"

                                            >The mounting orgasm makes Pinkie cry out like a whore on payday.

                                            >You cough from the impact and desperately try to stop yourself from cumming, but your body would not yield.

                                            >Baby batter erupts from the tip of your manmeat and quickly floods into Pinkie's waiting womb.

                                            >Confetti shoots out of her pussy and a party canon shot accompanies her squealing climax.

                                            >Most surprisingly of all however, was that her hair somehow poofed back up into its original cotton candy shape.

                                            >You lay there completely dumbfounded in a mess of sweat, love gravy, and saliva.

                                            "What the actual *COUGH* fuck, Pinkie? Is this some kind of *HUFF* cartoon?"

                                            >Pinkie sighs with satisfaction and lays down on top of you to bathe in the afterglow.

                                            >Her bright blue eyes gaze lovingly into yours. She places a hand on your face and smiles.

                                            >"Oh Nonny! How could I NOT accept such a thick, sticky, and gooey apology?"

                                            >Well, at least Pinkie was back to her old self now. She even accepted your heartfelt apology. M-Mission accomplished?

                                            >"Yessiree Non! And in just 9 months, I'll accept the rest of your apology too! Yay!"

                                            >She playfully pats her belly and and squirms with anticipation.

                                            >Your eyes practically pop out of their sockets. Quick! Think of something to say that will discourage her grand notion of motherhood!

                                            "B-But Pinkie, how can you be sure you're pregnant? Surely neither one of us is THAT potent."

                                            >"Are you loco in the coco Nonnynums? The girls in my family are super mega ultra giga fertile! Don't forget that Momma had 4 of us in one go!"

                                            >She performs one of her signature squeaky toy smiles and cuddles in closer to you.

                                            >FUCK. FuckFUCKFUCKFUCK 69 ASSHOLES TIED IN A KNOT LIZARD PISS FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!

                                            >You lay back and stare at the ceiling, praying for a way out of this mess. ANY way out would do.

                                            *CRASH!*

                                            >Pinkie's bedroom door sails through the air and smashes into her far wall.

                                            >In the dim hallway light you see what appears to be a well-built man stomping into the middle of Pinkie's room.

                                            >The muscular man wore a pair of farmer's overalls, black amish-style hat, and tan leather work boots.

                                            >You gulp nervously as he holds a double-barrel shotgun at the ready.


                                            Part XV:

                                            >"PINKAMENA DIANE PIE!"

                                            >The farmer's words shake the entire room as though a small earthquake was erupting underfoot.

                                            >"WHAT IN THE NAME OF OUR LORD JESUS CHRIST IS GOING ON IN HERE?"

                                            >Pinkie gasps and falls out of her own bed, exposing your naked frame to his fatherly wrath.

                                            >"D-DADDY?! What are you doing here?!?"

                                            >She quickly scrambles back up and tries to cover your naked body with her own.

                                            >"I thought you and Momma went to the rock convention!"

                                            >Mr. Pie walks over to the bed and places a large hand on his daughter's trembling shoulder.

                                            >"Your mother was feeling under the weather, so we returned home early."

                                            >In one swift motion, Mr. Pie scoops up his daughter and slings her over his shoulder.

                                            >Your jaw drops. To see someone swing Pinkie around like a ragdoll using only one arm was nothing short of incredible.

                                            >"Daddy wait! Please!"

                                            >She flails around widly and begins to pound her fists on her father's back, but the man remains unfazed.

                                            >"Publically humiliating my daughter in front of the entire school was a travesty in itself."

                                            >The man's angry eyes met your own as he cocks his gun and aims toward the center of your face.

                                            >"But to take her maidenhead in the sanctity of her own home? Boy, you just signed your death warrant."

                                            >You close your tired eyes and breathe a well-earned sigh of relief.

                                            >At last, the sweet embrace of death dangles so tantalizingly within reach.

                                            >Mr. Pie prepares the pull the trigger, well aware of the consequences to follow should he go through with this.

                                            >Suddenly Pinkie Pie pops up in front of the iron sights and takes a deep breath.

                                            >She quickly blows into the barrels and somehow pushes the bullets back out of the gun and into her father's surprised eyes.

                                            >The farmer stood there in a daze, unable to comprehend what the hell was happening.

                                            >Mr. Pie quickly shakes the bullets from his eyes and begins reloading his gun.

                                            >"Land sakes child! What is the meaning of this? Why would you so brazenly defend the very bastard that defiled you!?"

                                            >You open your eyes. Not only were you somehow still alive, but Pinkie was actively trying to SAVE you?

                                            >"Daddy! Gimmie one measly second and I'll tell you why!"

                                            >Pinkie stands at the foot of the bed in defiance and glares angrily at her father.

                                            >"Actually, I'll just show you why. Words take too long!"

                                            >It's hard to believe that the only thing standing between you and death was the crazy girl that raped you silly earlier today.

                                            >Pinkie Pie reaches into the poofiest folds of her hair and retrieves something you can't quite see.

                                            >Her father is taken aback by a radiant glow emanating from his daughter's hands.

                                            >"No...Pinkamena...it...i-it can't be!"

                                            >Pinkie smiles with a SQUEE and proudly hoists the object above her head for all to gaze upon.

                                            >You can finally see the trinket that's gotten everyone so worked up, and it looks like...a rock?


                                            Part XVI:

                                            >"It suuuuure is Daddy~!"

                                            >Pinkie hands her father the rock and begins bouncing around the room like she just won the lottery.

                                            >Mr. Pie lowers his gun for a moment and thouroughly inspects the suspicious stone.

                                            >"Well I'll be sliced and served with rock gravy."

                                            >The old man's scowl slowly shifts into a grin that somehow scares you more than rapist Pinkamena.

                                            >Mr. Pie quickly tears you from your bonds and stands you up straight before you can even comprehend what the fuck is going on.

                                            >Pinkie teleports to your side wearing nothing but a flowing pink nightgown and a smile on her face.

                                            >The pink psychopath wraps her arms tightly around your neck and eagerly awaits her father's words of approval.

                                            >"The pairing stone," he says while tenderly rubbing the glowing rock,"is a Pie family heirloom that's been passed down from generation to generation."

                                            >Pinkie "OOOOOH"s and "AAAHHHH"s at the stone while he speaks.

                                            >"To a Pie, this radiant glow you see before you signifies betrothel and commitment."

                                            >The stone's smooth surface is alight with bright colored pulses and shimmers.

                                            >You move to interject, but are quickly silenced by an excited Pinkie Pie's index finger.

                                            >"ShShShSHHHHHHHH!" This is the best part!" she whispers with anticipation.

                                            >She begins munching on some popcorn that she got from God knows where and impatiently waits for her father to continue.

                                            >"I, Igneus Rock Pie, son of Feldspar Granite Pie, do hereby decree..."

                                            >Pinkie's about to jump out of her skin, and at the rate she's clinging to you, might pull you out of yours.

                                            >"You two shall love one another."

                                            >You hear another party cannon firing off as Pinkie's hair poofs up and begins spraying confetti all over the place.

                                            >"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! Daddy! ThankyouThankyouThankyouTHANKYOU!"

                                            >Pinkie zooms over to Igneus Pie and comically squeezes him in a crazy bear hug. The poor man's eyes almost popped out of their sockets.

                                            >"You should be thanking the pairing stone my dear," he replies while embracing his daughter.

                                            >"I'm truly sorry Pinkamena," Igneus hugs his daughter tightly,"I almost murdered your future husband without even realizing it."

                                            >Pinkie fights back some sniffles and looks into her father's eyes with care.

                                            >"I-It's okay Daddy. We all make mistakes." Her tender words almost brought tears to your own eyes.

                                            >The two finish their tender moment and turn to you.

                                            >Mr. Pie extends a hand towards you. You instinctively reach out with a hand that's completely dwarfed in his massive palm.

                                            >"Welcome to the family son."


                                            Part XVII:

                                            "Th-Thank you sir."

                                            >You still can't believe what the fuck is going on.

                                            >"You, Anonymous, and Pinkamena Diane Pie shall be wed in a fortnight. I trust that you have no objections?"

                                            >The man stares into your very soul as he waits for your response.

                                            "No sir."

                                            >"Very well. I'll leave the weddin' plannin' to you two lovebirds."

                                            >Igneus hands you the pairing stone before leaving.

                                            >"Take good care of my daughter, ya hear?"

                                            >You feel like you have no choice but to nod in agreement.

                                            >The pairing stone shines brilliantly in your palms.

                                            >No. This has to be some kind of Pinkie prank. There's no way a fucking rock can decide your destiny.

                                            >Pinkie excitedly tackles you to the ground and snuggles up close.

                                            >The pairing stone glows even brighter, emitting rays of pure light that almost blind you.

                                            >"Oh Nonny~!" She swoons in your ear. "I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you! It'll be like one big party just for the two of us!"

                                            >She pulls down her top, revealing 2 cupcakes sitting on her...cupcakes.

                                            >Pinkie stuffs one cupcake into your mouth while she hungrily chomps down on the other.

                                            >It tastes like pure love on your tongue. That and cinnamon. Lots of cinnamon.

                                            >You turn to her and steel yourself for the potential return of Pinkamena.

                                            "Pinkie, are you sure you're okay with this? All of this?"

                                            >Pinkie looks up from her cupcake and smiles.

                                            >"Of course Nonnynums! The pairing stone knows all."

                                            >She raises a hand and wiggles her fingers as though she were trying to cast a spell on you.

                                            >The pairing stone shimmers and casts a beam of light upon her smiling pink face.

                                            >You hold a hand up to shield your eyes from the brillaint rays of light, only to end up looking at her exposed boobs.

                                            >She quickly notices your lewd staring and pushes her chest into your face.

                                            >"I think I used too much frosting. Wanna clean me up Nonny?"

                                            >You instantly begin licking the frosting off her breasts like a starving child.

                                            >She coos at you, almost as if to encourage you to keep going.

                                            >"*MMMF* Look at you Mister Eager McBeaver!"

                                            >Her coos quickly change into excited moans at your ferverent boob-groping.

                                            >Your hands squeeze and knead her fat funbags while you get to work on her stiff pink nipples with your mouth.

                                            >"Oh Noooooooony~! Your mouf feels sho guud!"

                                            >Her eyes roll back and her tongue flops around in her open mouth.

                                            >You can feel her body trembling from the ever-mounting pleasure of your advances.

                                            >Time to surprise the surpriser. Without warning, you shuffle upwards and move in for a deep kiss.

                                            >Pinkie's eyes widen with surprise, but it's not long before she's fully accepting and reciprocating your sudden smooches.

                                            >It doesn't take rocket science to see that your fiancé is on the verge of cumming her brains out yet again.

                                            >You slowly reach down to finish her off with a few tugs on her clit.

                                            >"There you are."

                                            >The two of you quickly snap out of your horny haze to find Maud Pie standing in the open doorway.


                                            Part XVIII:

                                            >Pinkie gasps with surprise and tries to hide your mutual nakedness with the blanket from her bed.

                                            >Maud slowly walks in and stands right in front of you. She blinks and squats down until her face is almost level with yours.

                                            >She slowly reaches out towards you.

                                            >Oh fuck. Don't tell me SHE wants a piece of the action too. What would Pinkie think?

                                            >You close your eyes and await your impending rape at the stoic hands of Maud Pie.

                                            >You feel something being taken from your hands. What does she want with the pairing stone? You quickly open your eyes.

                                            "M-Maud?! What are you-?"

                                            >"Okay Boulder I found you. It's my turn to hide now."

                                            >She lovingly strokes the pairing stone as its radiant glow dims until it looks like an ordinary rock again.

                                            >"Maud! We were having a moment!" Pinkie protests while pouting under the bedsheet. "Come back when it's OVER!"

                                            >Maud stops and looks at Pinkie. Her blank expression is difficult to read.

                                            >"Pinkie. I'm so happy that you and Anon are finally together like you always wanted."

                                            >It's hard to take her words to heart when she delivers them with such a deadpan monotone voice.

                                            >"I also can't wait to be an aunt."

                                            >She stands up and heads for the door, but Pinkie jumps out of the bedsheet and grabs her arm.

                                            >"Maud, how did you know? Do Momma and Daddy know?!"

                                            >Maud looks into Pinkie's concerned eyes and smiles ever so slightly.

                                            >"Boulder told me." She holds out Boulder to Pinkie.

                                            >"Mom and Dad don't know yet, but I get the feeling you want to surprise them, so I won't say anything."

                                            >Pinkie's eyes tear up and she giggles with relief.

                                            >"Thanks Maud. You really are the best super duper sister friend ever!"

                                            >Pinkie wraps her arms around Maud and squeezes her tight.

                                            >Small pieces of confetti drip out alongside Pinkie's tears and land on Maud's shoulder.

                                            >Maud remains as stoic as ever, but she doesn't hesitate to hug Pinkie in return.

                                            >"That's what big sisters are for Pinkie."

                                            >She tucks boulder into her shirt pocket and leaves the room.

                                            >Pinkie slowly climbs back under the bedsheet and snuggles back up to you once again.

                                            >"Phew! What a day, eh Nonny?"

                                            >You pull her in close for some well-earned cuddling.

                                            "Things went from apologizing to you with a cake to being raped to being held at gunpoint by an angry father to being engaged."

                                            >You chuckle at the absurdity of the day's events while pondering if they even happened at all.

                                            >Pinkie places a hand on your face and gazes lovingly into your tired eyes.

                                            "Nonny..."

                                            >You place your hand over hers and smile warmly at your blushing bride-to-be.

                                            "Yes Pinkie?"

                                            >She moves in closer and closer until her lips are less than an inch away from yours. Pinkie takes a deep breath and prepares herself.

                                            >"You wanna get something to eat? My belly is feeling super grumpy right now so it must be close to dinnertime!"

                                            >You just lay there in stunned silence. That was NOT what you were expecting to hear from her while sharing such an intimate embrace.

                                            >Fucking Pinkie Pie.


                                            Part XIX:

                                            >"Daddy! Daddy wake up! C'mon Daddy get up it's bweakfast time!"

                                            >"I don't think he can hear you sis."

                                            >"Of course he can hear us! You two just aren't being loud enough!"

                                            >Three small voices worm their way into your sleepy ears, ending your peaceful slumber with squeaky determination.

                                            >You yawn and sit up while rubbing your eyes. Three small children excitedly jump around on the bed in front of you.

                                            >So, the past 11 years weren't a dream after all it seems. You pick up one of your daughters and hold her for a moment.

                                            >The girl squees in your arms and snuggles into your chest. Yep, she's Pinkie's daughter alright, from her poofy pink hair to her excitable personality.

                                            >Memories gradually return to you as the room comes into focus. Graduation. A wedding. An awkward reception with Pinkie's friends. A passionate honeymoon. A bakery. A half-dozen kids.

                                            >Your son Slade Pie and slightly older daughter Lemon Pie stop their excited jumping to crawl over and join the ongoing snugglefest.

                                            >These "kiddie piles" as you've come to call them, were one of the best parts of your day, second only to cuddles with your pink wife.

                                            >"Daddy?"

                                            >Your youngest daughter looks up at you from your embrace with comically big puppy eyes.

                                            "Yes Cookie Pie?"

                                            >You look down at her and smile, eager to hear what your silly child had to say.

                                            >"Wewe you tinking of da past again?"

                                            >This child was frighteningly introspective for her age. Scratch that; she was frighteningly introspective for ANY age.

                                            "Yes sweetheart. Sometimes Daddy still can't believe the wonderful life he lives with you and your mother is real."

                                            >Cookie Pie smiles and hugs you tight.

                                            >"OH NOOOOOOOOOOONYNUMS! Breakfast is almost ready~! Grab the munchkins and come on doooooooooooown!"

                                            >Your head perks up at the sound of Pinkie Pie's voice permeating the house.

                                            "Alright kiddos, snuggle time is over. Let's go have some of Mommy's famous sugarbutter cupancakes!"

                                            >The kids scramble off the bed and trip over themselves to run downstairs.

                                            >You quickly make the bed and follow them into the kitchen. Half a dozen pots and pans were simmering and boiling on the stove.

                                            >"Morning Nonny! Didja sleep well?"

                                            >Pinkie Pie turns around from the stove to greet you with a warm smile. She gently rocks the 3 babies wrapped around her voluptuous body.

                                            "Like a baby."


                                            Part XX:

                                            >You smile and walk over to your eager wife and give her a good morning kiss.

                                            >She carefully wraps her arms around you and proceeds to french you so hard that you thought you were going to choke.

                                            >Pinkie's infatuation with you only seemed to grow with each passing day. Funny enough, that's not the only thing that grew.

                                            >Her perky C-Cup breasts ballooned into gorgeous double-Ds. Her delicate waist became wide enough to get stuck in doorways at just the right angle.

                                            >And that ass, oh Lordy her ass. "Dumptruck" was not strong enough a word to describe the amount of junk in her trunk.

                                            >Smacking those pink badonkadonks created ripples that could easily tear a hole in the fabric of reality.

                                            >"Nooooooony~<3!" She whispered into your ear. "Not in front of the kiiiiiiiiiiids!"

                                            >You look down to see your hands digging deep into Pinkie's massive jean-covered ass. Whoops.

                                            >Thankfully the kids were too busy with setting the table to notice.

                                            >"Oh Nonny! Before I forget, Applejack is coming by to pick up Applebloom's birthday cake. Can you believe she's already 16?!"

                                            "Time sure flies, doesn't it honey?"

                                            >She nods while affectionately breastfeeding one of the triplets. You have no idea how she juggles 6 kids, a self-made bakery, and you.

                                            >Breakfast time in your house/bakery was a noisy time indeed.

                                            >Your children excitedly talk over one another about things they learned in school, the friends they made in homeroom, or just about any random thought that pops into their little heads.

                                            >You and Pinkie eagerly listen to each and every one of their stories, no matter how long or how silly they were.

                                            >The kids were your entire world, and you promised Pinkie that you would love and raise them as best as you can, with her by your side.

                                            >It's hard to believe how drastically things changed since that fateful Friday at Canterlot High.

                                            >Pinkie went from 'psycho rapist' to 'bubbly baker mommy', and you went from 'abusive asshole that pissed off an entire high school' to 'patient loving father & husband'.

                                            >Sometimes you wish you could go back in time to stop yourself from breaking Pinkie's heart; to properly court her with love instead of chasing her off with adolescent spite.

                                            >Either way, it's all in the past now. It's time to look forward, to make a future that would make your wife and kids proud.

                                            >You finish your breakfast and head down to the ground floor to set up shop.

                                            >Today marks the 5th anniversary of you and your wife's home bakery. You'll be sure to properly celebrate that milestone with Pinkie later tonight.

                                            >You get the feeling that your family was about to grow even bigger, and you couldn't be happier.


                                            THE END