SCP-Ford-F150


                                            >SCP: 150

                                            >Containment Class: Safe

                                            >Harm Potential: Extreme

                                            >Moral Decay: Unknown


                                            >Special Containment Procedures:

                                            >SCP-150 and all related components are to be stored in Site 1's large containment cells. Testing is by site director approval only.


                                            >Description:

                                            >SCP-150 is a massive, all-metal wagon with enclosed roof, rubber tires and glass windows. There is no rig for hitching a pony, likely due to the machine's ability to self-propel when certain conditions are met (see testing log). Multiple researchers have noted the startling resemblance to a racecar bed, with similar psychological compulsions taking effect.


                                            >Testing Log:

                                            >Participants:

                                            >S: Snips, demoted to D-class duty temporarily due to failing grades

                                            >C: Cheerilee, civilian contractor recruited under pretense of 'it's either look at cool stuff or be stuck grading his worksheets in summer school'


                                            >C: Okay, we're supposed to look at- oof!

                                            >(C has bumped into SCP-150's tire)

                                            >S: Neat! It looks like my bed but huge!

                                            >C: Twilight left us a list of things to try so get to it

                                            >S: Why are you listening to Twilight? She doesn't run the Ponyville school

                                            >C: I don't hear the sound of testing! First task: 'Attempt to enter the anomaly?'

                                            >S: I can see these little handles here but I can't get my mouth around them. Who made this thing anyway? Dragons?

                                            >C: Okay, the clipboard says there's some tools for things like this over-

                                            >(C is interrupted by the sound of S throwing a brick through the window. Testing was postponied until the next day, as hazmat teams removed the shards of glass and 'scent of stupid colt doing stupid colt stuff')


                                            >C: SNIPS! Just open the ding dang door like normal! We have a grippy thingy for that!

                                            >S: Don't need the door, I made a new one, remember?

                                            >C: Please just follow the procedure, Twilight loves checklists. She'd marry a checklist if Orthodox Princessism allowed it. She would never write a checklist item without a reason.

                                            >S: First tell me why Twilight gets to boss you around. BESIDES the Princess thing I mean.

                                            >C: Because I don't like doing paperwork any more than anypony else! This 'D-nternship" is an opportunity for you to salvage your grade in a way that I don't have to spend my summer supervising! When I signed up to be a teacher they never told me just HOW MUCH grading there is to do! I thought it would be field trips and snacktimes and 'oh captain my captain' but now I smell red marker even in my dreams! Now open the DING. DANG. DOOR.

                                            >(Upon opening the doors on either side, a loud beeping can be heard)

                                            >C: Uh, don't worry, it's not going to hurt us... I think.... Twilight always casts Find Traps and there weren't any

                                            >S: Any that she could find at her caster level you mean

                                            >(C stares forward for an uncomfortable length of time. S Finally enters the SCP on the wheel side.)

                                            >S: Woah! I really, really want to turn this big wheel and go VROOM VROOM

                                            >C: Ok, noted, do you also want to go "rrrrrrrrrrr nyoom?"

                                            >S: Yes and I also want to play with these keys stuck below the wheel

                                            >C: 'Subject experiencing full range of racecar bed fever'

                                            >SCP-150: (SOUNDS OF DRACONIC VIOLENCE)

                                            >C: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

                                            >S: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

                                            >S: HOW DO I MAKE IT STOP?

                                            >C: WE'RE SUPPOSED TO BE FIGURING THAT OUT

                                            >(S begins throwing his emergency brick at every button, eventually pressing a pedal to the floor)

                                            >C: Okay that changed the sound! What else haven't we messed with? There's this joystick here-

                                            >S: Ew, I'm not touching that. You touch it- you're a girl

                                            TRANSCRIBINATOR FAILURE: 'CHEERILEE' EXPRESSION CANNOT BE DESCRIBED WITHOUT GRADE 5 SWEARS

                                            >C: 'Snips believes the middle lever is some kind of racecar penis.' noted.

                                            >(S. finally remembers he's a unicorn and just uses magic to move the stick)


                                            At this point, SCP-150 rocketed forward and slammed into the wall. Normally this would be a safe experience for the researchers, but SCP-150 deployed multiple class-3 assault pillows, necessitating hospital treatment. Testing has been postponed indefinitely, and an investigation into the origin of racecar beds is ongoing.