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SCP-000

By woggs123
Created: 2024-08-23 23:02:14
Updated: 2024-08-28 23:49:22
Expiry: Never
celestia/kinder/scptwilightkinderquestriakindergrogar

  1. 1.
    >SCP-000
  2. 2.
    >Containment Class: Apollyon-Thaumiel
  3. 3.
    >Danger: Incalculable
  4. 4.
    >Disruption: SCP-000's true nature would likely cause 15x the harm of finding out that [REDACTED] isn't real
  5. 5.
     
  6. 6.
    >Special Containment Protocols:
  7. 7.
    >SCP-000 cannot be physically contained by any currently-known mortal means.
  8. 8.
    >Containment of SCP-000 relies on making SCP-000 believe it is in control of its surroundings.
  9. 9.
    >To this end, SCP-000 is contained within an elaborate staged play centered around the core chambers of Site-001.
  10. 10.
    >SCP-000 is generally oblivious and unambitious so long as its ego is sated; within its containment center, it will be content to make sweeping and non-specific demands that are generally in line with the Foundation's mission.
  11. 11.
    >In the event of SCP-000 going afield and/or in any way directly interfering with Foundation operations, the risk of casualties and containment breaches increases astronomically.
  12. 12.
    >Do. Not. Let. This. Happen.
  13. 13.
    >MTF Round Table will carry out daily memetic incantations and rituals to keep SCP-000 in a state of self-containment.
  14. 14.
    >MTF Baker's Dozen will keep SCP-000 fed by any means necessary.
  15. 15.
    >SCP-000's containment measures are producing diminishing returns at a slow but steady rate.
  16. 16.
    >It is expected that containment will fail entirely within [REDACTED] years.
  17. 17.
    >Due to the extreme risk to morale and SCP-000's reach and influence, speculation as to the true cause of SCP-000 is strictly prohibited.
  18. 18.
     
  19. 19.
    >Description:
  20. 20.
    >SCP-000 is a tall, white unicorn of aberrant musculoskeletal features; commonly referred to as Princess Celestia.
  21. 21.
    >Previously assumed to be a pony of great importance, recent and consistent patterns of events have put this into question.
  22. 22.
    >SCP-000 has displayed flagrant disregard for beings it commands(1), complete lack of tactical or strategic acumen(2), pettiness unbefitting of even a schoolfilly(3) and active hinderance towards those defending its person(4).
  23. 23.
    >While any long-lived creature is bound to take missteps, the recent extreme trend of these and other abnormal behaviors shows no sign of stopping.
  24. 24.
    >By unanimous O5 secret vote, SCP-000 was classified as Old and Stupid(5), and containment measures were seamlessly integrated through previous routines.
  25. 25.
    >Meg help us all if she finds out.
  26. 26.
     
  27. 27.
    >1. Sending the six of us to FIGHT A GOD without even a doctor or a wilderness survival expert!?
  28. 28.
    >2. What about the wedding she insisted on when there was an army of bugs screaming that they wanted to invade?
  29. 29.
    >3. OOH! Speaking of wedding, she made Twilight cry and never apologized even after Twilight turned out to be right!
  30. 30.
    >4. Y'all 'member the Storm King? Don't we have big catapults? Seems like he should never have gotten close to Canterlot. Like, ever.
  31. 31.
    >5. Yea and verily and such, my sister really is a pill. And not the kind you take with your mouth.
  32. 32.
     
  33. 33.
    *****
  34. 34.
     
  35. 35.
    >Twilight flipped through the palacewarming present Celestia had left her
  36. 36.
    >An older model of Foundation journal, containing what Celestia considered their 'greatest hits.'
  37. 37.
    >Her diary synced with the tome and opened itself to a clean command page
  38. 38.
    >Welcome, user: O6 TWILIGGHT. Suggested page: SCP-000.
  39. 39.
    "Ha. I remember this one- we really thought Celestia had gone senile for a bit. Good times. Thankfully she was still Celestia so she just laughed about it."
  40. 40.
    >WARNING
  41. 41.
    >INVISIBLE INK DETECTED
  42. 42.
    >ATTEMPTING TO PARSE
  43. 43.
    >ADDITIONAL TEXT PRESENT
  44. 44.
    "What."
  45. 45.
    >LEXICOGRAPHICAL ENCHANTMENTS DETECTED
  46. 46.
    >TRIGGERING IN SANDBOX
  47. 47.
    >STANDBY
  48. 48.
    >ENCHANTMENT CONFERS SEAL OF AUTHORITY:
  49. 49.
    >HIDDEN TEXT SUPERCEDES PRIMARY TEXT VIA COMMAND AUTHORIZATION: FLUTTERPONY
  50. 50.
    >WARNING: UNKNOWN RUNIC FRACTALS STILL PRESENT.
  51. 51.
    >ESTIMATION: TARGETING PARAMETERS: G. G. G- ERggggOR
  52. 52.
    >REBOOTING IN SAFE MODE
  53. 53.
    >COMMENCING SECON-
  54. 54.
     
  55. 55.
    >Twiligght frowned and put her quill to the magic paper.
  56. 56.
    "Negative. Display the document."
  57. 57.
    >LOG DUMPED TO JOURNAL NUMBER TWO
  58. 58.
    "I need to figure out what this is. SPIKE! No visitors until further notice!"
  59. 59.
    >"Didn't that book just warn you there might be more tra-"
  60. 60.
    "I always keep my inoculations up to date. Now go clear my schedule!"
  61. 61.
    >"You'd think YOU of all ponies would know not to rush into-"
  62. 62.
    >Spike slunk away as his sentence was cut off with a lavender glare from the lavender mare.
  63. 63.
     
  64. 64.
    >SCP-000
  65. 65.
    >Containment Class: SHE IS COMPROMISED
  66. 66.
    "We did think that, didn't we? Heh."
  67. 67.
    >Danger: Total unsustainability of aetheric ecosystem. Subsequent collapse of all that we call 'Magic.'
  68. 68.
    >Disruption: Total societal collapse, possible failure of the entire Tree of Harmony project. Most optimistic projection predicts a return to pre-diarchy ethnocentric city-states.
  69. 69.
     
  70. 70.
    >Twiligroght's eyebrows raised. Even her worst predictions about Celestia only amounted to more ponies in the nurse's office.
  71. 71.
     
  72. 72.
    >Special Containment Protocols:
  73. 73.
    >SCP-000 is to be allowed to assume the Throne of Dusk and Dawn
  74. 74.
    >As per the cover document, bureaucratic rituals are to be used to keep herHIM/ pacified and removed from any actual running of operations.
  75. 75.
    >Keep everything orderly. Keep up with the routines. She likes routines, she likes her bookkeeping. Spike's little HANDS are so great for that, aren't they?
  76. 76.
    "Hm. They are indeed."
  77. 77.
    >Just act casual. Smooth transition of power. We can still fix this if we take TwiligGARht by surprise.
  78. 78.
    "They're talking about ME!? How dare they!"
  79. 79.
    >twiliGht spaRkle was nOt happy
  80. 80.
    "Something fishy is going on here!"
  81. 81.
    >the bad faith in her was just hurtful!
  82. 82.
    >sure, she used some inflammatory lanGuAge when plotting against celestia, but everypony's done that!
  83. 83.
    "But this? Total collapse of magic!? Ponies dwindling to scattered enclaves!? Failure of the-"
  84. 84.
    >she Really should stand up for herself! [spoiler]DREAMSCAPE ANOMALY DETECTED. PRIMING.[/spoiler]
  85. 85.
    >what was that about that stupid tree? what other secrets has the infernal princess kept?
  86. 86.
    "Tree of Harmony? Project? That's not ominous at all."
  87. 87.
    [spoiler]RED FLAG. TWILIGHT HAS BEEN BRIEFED ON SCP-11. SCP-000 INFECTION EARLIER THAN PREVIOUSLY SUSPECTED?.[/spoiler]
  88. 88.
    "No. No. I'm better than this. I'll just ask."
  89. 89.
     
  90. 90.
    >Grrrrrr
  91. 91.
    >Really princess
  92. 92.
    >Of course it would be better if she read the entire thing right
  93. 93.
    >Good idea
  94. 94.
    >Attagirl
  95. 95.
    >Read
  96. 96.
     
  97. 97.
    [spoiler]ANOMALY ISOLATED. PREPARING CONTINGENCY.[/spoiler]
  98. 98.
     
  99. 99.
    >do it
  100. 100.
    >you know you want to
  101. 101.
    "OKAY! AUGH! My mind IS racing today- I suppose leaving this book unfinished won't do my mental state any favors."
  102. 102.
    >yes
  103. 103.
    >ha ha ha yes
  104. 104.
    >oh this is rich the sun nag is surrendering to me ha ha ha
  105. 105.
    >wait
  106. 106.
    >what
  107. 107.
    >oh no
  108. 108.
    >abort abort abort
  109. 109.
    >you stupid book horse abort
  110. 110.
    >there's a ward right at the end of that docum-
  111. 111.
     
  112. 112.
    >Twilight suffered a migraine and fell on her plot
  113. 113.
    >At least she thinks that's what a migraine is, from Anon's descriptions
  114. 114.
    >What sort of horrible episode was she just having? They say everypony is their own worst critic but even Rarity never yelled at herself that much!
  115. 115.
    >Luckily, she had the instant pain relief of Book nearby
  116. 116.
    >Book!
  117. 117.
    >Open container!
  118. 118.
    >Apply words therin to the brain via ocular absorption!
  119. 119.
    >Be amazed as your durable kinderbrain reroutes pain signals to the lexiconic battery!
  120. 120.
    >It's that simple!
  121. 121.
     
  122. 122.
     
  123. 123.
    >Description:
  124. 124.
    >SCP-000 is a mind-disrupting spectral entity, strongly suspected of harmfully influencing ponies throughout recent centuries
  125. 125.
    >SCP-000 is suspected to be ponykind's oldest still-active enemy, in case the number didn't clue you in.
  126. 126.
    >Once a potential victim is targeted, SCP-000 will insert itself and be experienced as an intrusive thoughtform
  127. 127.
    >SCP-000 slowly asserts control by using the victim's existing quirks to mask its own desires, typically involving attaining total political power and/or slaves and/or removing ponykind's ability to defend themselves.
  128. 128.
    >Previous suspected victims include but are not limited to:
  129. 129.
    >Princess Luna
  130. 130.
    >The Great and Powerful Trixie (Beatrice Lulamoon)
  131. 131.
    >King Crystals 'Sombra' Crystals
  132. 132.
    >Sunset Shimmer
  133. 133.
    >Starlight Glimmer
  134. 134.
    >Stygian
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    >Cozy Glow
  136. 136.
    >Does Chrysalis count? She looks like a pony with diabetes legs, so I'll count her too.
  137. 137.
    >SCP-000's current host is suspected to be Twilight Sparkle
  138. 138.
    >Given the entity's age, power and experience, and Twilight's tendency to brute force her way through any magical scroll/tome/candy wrapper she can find-
  139. 139.
    >Princess Celestia is afraid she must declare [spoiler]she can cast Explosive Rune, you stupid sheep.[/spoiler]

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