Anonfilly's Friendship Balloon [8]


                                            >A cool autumn day in Equestria

                                            >Be the Great and Powerful Anonymous

                                            >You are not giving this cloak and hat back

                                            >Not even if she asks nicely

                                            >It's always nice watching the leaves start to fall in this time before the Running of the Leaves

                                            >It's quiet, peaceful

                                            >And some days, that's the way you like it

                                            >Even if that sun is DIRECTLY IN YOUR HATEPATH

                                            "FUCK YOU, YOU SHINING SACK OF SHIT!"

                                            >Somehow, this makes the late morning better

                                            >Your calm, collected, and reasonable discussion with Celestia's ward is interrupted by childish giggling

                                            >Ah shit, they're up to something

                                            >Following the sounds, you end up walking around your cozy house

                                            >To find Nonny and Green sitting next to a bound and gagged Starlight Glimmer

                                            >...this had better not be exactly what you think it is.


                                            >Be a perfectly normal human analysis experiment gone wrong

                                            >Better known as Nonny the unicorn

                                            >You have a perfectly good explanation for why Commiehorse is bound and gagged

                                            "Hey, Anon. Nice to uh... see you here?"

                                            >Damn you tiny horse body, you're supposed to hide the nervousness

                                            >"Nonny. Green. Why is Starlight in ropes?"

                                            "Anon, there's a perfectly good explanation."

                                            >"That explanation better not involve three tickets on an air-balloon ride."

                                            "It may or may not, depending on what you consider an air balloon, a ride, and a ticket."

                                            >He knows. Fuck.

                                            >You subtly use your perfectly precise magic to take the tickets Green's hiding under her wing, then gently push her in front of Anon

                                            >"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

                                            >As she goes flying at Mach 2 into him, you start to book it

                                            >This plan was planned, dammit, for like a whole hour!

                                            >It's not gonna fail now!


                                            >Be a mess of feathers and mild pain, currently known as Green

                                            >You're regretting not being allowed to choose a better name

                                            >And also regretting following Nonny's plan

                                            >"Green. What the fuck is going on?"

                                            >Anon groans in pain, and sits up after you were launched at him like a intercontinental ballistic fillymissile

                                            "I uh... blame Nonny?"

                                            >"You would, wouldn't you. Starlight, game's over, you can stop with the ropes."

                                            >What

                                            >Starlight teleports out of the ropes you so carefully tied to make sure that she couldn't

                                            >WHAT

                                            >"You really didn't have to play their game."

                                            >"Well, those two little fillies said they wanted to take me for a hot air balloon ride, and it sounded like fun. They insisted the ropes would make it more fun, but..."

                                            "How did you? What did you? Huh?"

                                            >"Green. I thought you'd remember by now. What do unicorns have?"

                                            >Anon points at Starlight's horn, like it's the most obvious thing in the world

                                            [spoiler]>Mostly because it totally is you fucking tard.[/spoiler]

                                            >"Starlight, could you be a dear and find Nonny for me? She and Green here have just a bit of explaining and apologizing to do."

                                            >Starlight sighs, and teleports away.

                                            >Anon whispers in your ear

                                            >"You forgot the magical binding, and to prep the hot air balloon beforehand. That, and she's not a dirty commie anymore. You two can have some salmon later, but I gotta save face here."

                                            >Right. He's you. Of course he's secretly on board.


                                            >Be Nonny again, master of minds

                                            >And realize that you're somehow lost in Ponyville

                                            >This place is so small! How did you manage this!?

                                            >Shut up, we're small too now

                                            >Fair point

                                            >But the plan is still going! You have three tickets, a bound Pony Russian, and-

                                            >You forgot to get SeizeTheMeansOfProduction-light

                                            >fuck

                                            >And you sacrificed Green already

                                            >Fuck!

                                            >And a there's flash of blue in front of you, causing your concentration to drop

                                            >FUCK

                                            "Hey Starlight..."

                                            >She only looks mildly amused as you are teleported back to your house

                                            >You might have to take up Twiggle's lessons again for that trick

                                            >In front of you is... Anon holding Green by her scruff

                                            >"Nonny."

                                            >Yup, that's your... his I'm-tired-of-your-shit tone

                                            >"Mind explaining to our REFORMED communist friend here what exactly what you were doing?"

                                            >"Anon, what's a communist?" Stalinlight asks

                                            >"Don't worry about it, Star."

                                            >You realize there's no real escape route here

                                            >...might as well skip to the apology.

                                            >"Starlight, I'm sorry for trying to trick you into a wonderful hot air balloon ride."

                                            >"Anon, how is a hot air balloon ride bad?"

                                            >"Nonny, continue."

                                            >Fuck, that almost worked.

                                            "...and for planning to throw you out of that balloon for being part of the Red Menace."

                                            >"I'm sorry too! I mean, I didn't really plan this, but I'm sorry!"

                                            >Dammit Green, you're such a coward

                                            >Should've just taken the fall like I planned you to!

                                            >"Nonny, stop glaring at Glimmer. Now, Glimmy, any idea on how to give these two a proper punishment?"

                                            >He wouldn't, he didn't

                                            >"Well, I think that friendship is better than a punishment. I forgive you."

                                            >So easily? You smell a trap.

                                            >"Especially considering it wouldn't've worked anyway. I'm a unicorn too, you know."

                                            "Huh? But... hng. Right, you can teleport. How do you even do that?!"

                                            >Your cries of frustration are halted by Maolight's own idea

                                            >"Oh! I could teach you! That way we'll be better friends, and you'll think more next time before trying to throw a non-pegasus out of a balloon!"

                                            >"That's a wonderful idea, Glimglam. Still at the castle these days?"

                                            >"Yup!"

                                            >"I'll send her over... tomorrow morning work for you?"

                                            >"It's perfect. I still have some things to do today, so I'll see you later Anon! You too, Green, Nonny."

                                            >As she poofs away, you scream internally. This was not how this was supposed to go

                                            >This is the opposite of how this was supposed to go

                                            >And now you have to LEARN MAGIC FROM HER

                                            >At least you still have those tickets, there's room for a next ti-

                                            >DAMMIT YOU DROPPED THE TICKETS WHEN STARLIGHT APPEARED

                                            >You resign to sulking for the rest of the day

                                            >Such is life being the little green filly.