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Sweet Pony Dreams [PTFG]

By FajitasAnon
Created: 2021-07-16 21:31:33
Updated: 2021-03-12 17:01:15
Expiry: Never
//ptfg//abandoned

  1. 1.
    "My name's Anonymous, and welcome to Cut-Rate Jackass!"
  2. 2.
    >You've spent all day setting this up
  3. 3.
    >A shopping cart that doesn't lock up when you take it
  4. 4.
    >A highway next to a hill that looks busy enough to be dangerous but not actually busy enough to be 100% stupid
  5. 5.
    >And a willing cameraman that not only wants to see you fail, but also wants to see you not die while failing
  6. 6.
    >Thanks, Incognito.
  7. 7.
    >"You're gonna eat shit, Anon. I'm calling it, the gravel halfway down the hill. Not even to the road."
  8. 8.
    "Go fuck yourself, Incog, I got this."
  9. 9.
    >Brotherly banter, who doesn't love it?
  10. 10.
    "Now watch this shit!"
  11. 11.
    >You get your running start, and with practiced precision, you jump into your cart
  12. 12.
    >You were right to practice this part, it's a lot harder than it looks
  13. 13.
    >Almost immediately, you're going faster than expected
  14. 14.
    "Oh SHIIIIIIIIIIIIII-"
  15. 15.
    >You fly past the gravel, speeds yet unheard of by lesser men with weaker hearts [spoiler]or the tiniest smidge of intelligence[/spoiler]
  16. 16.
    >klaklaklaklaklaklak
  17. 17.
    >The cart keeps getting louder and wobblier
  18. 18.
    >But you can see it, the pavement
  19. 19.
    >The part that'll sell your shit video to the masses, that'll make it so you just have to do stupid shit for money
  20. 20.
    >"ANON, BAIL!"
  21. 21.
    >You look back, expecting Incog's signature shit-eating grin
  22. 22.
    >He has an expression you've never seen him wear before
  23. 23.
    >Pure, unadulterated terror
  24. 24.
    >You're confused of what could possibly make him so scared
  25. 25.
    >And then it hits you
  26. 26.
    >The world is dark
  27. 27.
    >Huh, you figured it would be less cliché
  28. 28.
    >"-ney? Hon? You okay?"
  29. 29.
    >That's a new voice
  30. 30.
    >Motherly, older
  31. 31.
    >Oh fuck, you hope that's not a cute MILF who saw you splat on her car or something
  32. 32.
    "Yeah, I'm okay. Feel a little weird though."
  33. 33.
    >Not only is that not you saying that, that's not your voice
  34. 34.
    >This one is much more saccharine, like a cold iced tea on a hot day
  35. 35.
    >Your eyes open, and you see a light purple horse face in yours
  36. 36.
    >You try to scream but your body doesn't obey
  37. 37.
    >"Well, that's good. That frisbee hit you nice and hard on the noggin."
  38. 38.
    >Oh fuck it's getting even weirder, the colorful horse is talking
  39. 39.
    >And wearing glasses
  40. 40.
    >And wearing her blonde mane in a bun
  41. 41.
    >What the FUCK
  42. 42.
    "Ay, ouch, I might have to see Nurse Redheart after all. My head hurts."
  43. 43.
    >-And for some reason, I'm hearing a voice...-
  44. 44.
    >Wait, you mean you can hear me?
  45. 45.
    >-Nope, not talking to it, that's how it gets worse.-
  46. 46.
    >"Well, Honey dear, do you need me to walk you?"
  47. 47.
    >-It's better that you don't come with. Getting all worked up isn't good for a mare your age.-
  48. 48.
    >What the fuck fuck fuckety fuck?
  49. 49.
    >Mare? Why do you... huh?
  50. 50.
    >What the hell am I? Why do I feel so wrong?
  51. 51.
    "It's fine, Violet, I can walk myself. Don't need you getting all worked up about me."
  52. 52.
    >"Well, if you say so, Honey. Tea again next week?"
  53. 53.
    "Yep, next week. Maybe in a spot with less flying frisbees."
  54. 54.
    >-A little humor should keep her off edge...-
  55. 55.
    >Her? What about me?! Why am I hearing voices? Why are they calling me the voices?! Who the fuck are you?!
  56. 56.
    >While you question the obvious problems here, you feel yourself get up, and start to walk
  57. 57.
    >A feeling you've never had before courses through you, as a natural trot heads you away from Valley Violet
  58. 58.
    >Huh, that's weird, you just... suddenly knew that name
  59. 59.
    >HOLD THE FUCK UP
  60. 60.
    >EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS IS WEIRD
  61. 61.
    >WHERE'S INCOG? WHAT ABOUT THAT CAR? WHY ARE HORSES TALKING?
  62. 62.
    "Ah, sheesh, stop yelling... voice? It's giving me a headache."
  63. 63.
    >AND WHO AM I- YOU- US- WHAT?!
  64. 64.
    "I can't believe I'm introducing myself to the voices in my head like some crazy pony. I'm Honeyed Dreams."
  65. 65.
    >Deep, internal breaths. Hi, I'm Anonymous, and I think I'm having a crazy coma dream where I'm trapped in a talking horse's body.
  66. 66.
    "And I've been hit so hard in the head that I think there's somepony in it."

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