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Applied Magics: A Tale From /cyber/pone/

By Writefag_Roulette
Created: 2021-07-16 21:31:33
Updated: 2021-01-20 14:27:54
Expiry: Never
futureanonymous/aie//pone/8chancyberpunkalternate universe

  1. Chapter 1: Life in Nightville
  2.  
  3. >"I created the Other World one hundred years ago today."
  4. >Princess Twilight Sparkle stands in the center of an auditorium
  5. >the eyes of hundreds of intellectuals, scholars, and sorcerers are fixed firmly upon her
  6. >which is just as well for you
  7. >because, behind all the intellectuals, scholars and sorcerers
  8. >you creep unseen in the shadows
  9. >"The Other World is a magical construct, powered by the minds of the ordinary ponies who use and benefit from it every day."
  10. >you locate your target, and curse under your breath
  11. >you entered the auditorium on the exact wrong side
  12. >all right Anon, this could take a little time
  13. >"It is, exactly as the name implies, another world. You can't get there from any place in Equestria, but at the same time, you can get there from any place in Equestria."
  14. >that's it, keep talking, you old fart
  15. >"Progress began with the invention of the horn band, also created by yours truly."
  16. >crawling
  17. >creeping
  18. >on your toes and fingertips
  19. >torso close to the ground
  20. >silent
  21. >like some kind of huge snake
  22. >but with legs
  23. >"The horn band was designed to give earth ponies and pegasi a means for casting spells. It even worked with several non-equine races."
  24. >all right
  25. >you probably don't have to move so fucking slow
  26. >let's pick up he pace a little bit here
  27. >"I have, unfortunately, been forced to ban these general-purpose horn bands by now in the interest of public safety. But years before that, I noticed that they produced an unexpected effect."
  28. >all right
  29. >you're about to pass a door
  30. >hopefully nobody opens it while you're in front of it
  31. >"A wise mare once said, 'Magic is as magic does,' and anyone who's experimented in magic knows the absolute truth of this statement."
  32. >the door swings open in front of you
  33. >by instinct, you fling yourself against the wall
  34. >"The horn bands communicated with each other of their own accord. While investigating this phenomenon, I was taken into the first incarnation of the Other World. Immediately, I saw the potential it afforded."
  35. >oh fuck
  36. >it's a guard
  37. >"The rest, as they say, is history. I and many others spent a long time forming this raw magical energy into a comprehensive world, and today there are special-purpose horn bands available to allow anyone to access it whenever they'd like."
  38. >his eyes
  39. >pass directly over you
  40. >and then
  41. >he walks on by as if you weren't there
  42. >you sigh
  43. >then grin
  44. >of course you know that ponies can't see you here in the Other World
  45. >but sometimes you don't believe it
  46. >besides, they can bump into you sometimes
  47. >"Without further ado, allow me to present the pony who's bringing a change to the Other World almost as significant as its very creation, Professor Turing Test, of the Ponyville University for Applied Magics. Professor Test, I leave the stage to you."
  48. >all right, fuck this
  49. >you probably don't need all this stealth
  50. >not tonight anyways
  51. >you stand up
  52. >"Thank you, Princess. Thank you. I am very excited to explain my discovery to you all."
  53. >your target is a old, fat mare with a charcoal coat and a silver mane by the name of Ashy Pool
  54. >she's only about twenty feet away now
  55. >she's in the back row
  56. >this should be easy
  57. >"This can be seen as another magical construction. Similar to the Other World itself, it is powered by the minds of those who participate in it."
  58. >oh shit
  59. >the mare who just bumped into you is a serious cutie
  60. >silvery coat
  61. >snow white mane
  62. >a little black dress that hugs her rump perfectly
  63. >she's looking around vacantly
  64. >trying to see what she's bumped
  65. >trying to see what she can't
  66. >you give that rump a firm smack as you walk on by it
  67. >"Unlike the Other World, this construct is intelligent in and of itself."
  68. >Ashy Pool is fairly well distracted by the scandalized shriek of the little cutie in the black dress
  69. >she doesn't notice your hand reaching into the deep pockets of her big fur coat
  70. >or coming back out with the scroll you've been payed to retrieve
  71. >you smile
  72. >good shit
  73. >"Open up! Anonymous Poster, we know you're in there!"
  74. >oh shit
  75. >that's coming from the Real World
  76.  
  77. >you yank your band off of your head and stuff it in your pocket
  78. >your sparse little apartment that smells like booze and BO comes rushing back
  79. >damn
  80. >since when do the cops come into downtown Ponyville?
  81. >"Anonymous Poster! You have until the count of ten before we enter by force!"
  82. >welp
  83. >time to see that SP you picked up Nightville was worth the neobits
  84. >you grab the special-purpose band off of the table
  85. >and slip it on over your head
  86. >to verify that it works, you take a look at your arm
  87. >or, rather, you don't
  88. >invisibility spell
  89. >very illegal
  90. >very expensive
  91. >but also very useful for someone like you
  92. >unfortunately, you're not nearly as unnoticeable in the Real World as you are in the Other World
  93. >disadvantages of being a giant space-monkey among little talking ponies
  94. >the door splinters and falls inward
  95. >you press yourself as flat against the wall as you can get
  96. >"He's hiding in here somewhere, we saw him come in and we didn't see him come out. Search everything!"
  97. >now hold up just a minute
  98. >these aren't the guards at all
  99. >they wear a similar armor
  100. >but it's jet-black as opposed to the gold of the real guards
  101. >these guys are somebody's private security force
  102. >oh, that's just awesome
  103. >assholes left the door open
  104. >they're too busy looking for you to see you slip out
  105. >you put a little pep in your step as you head down the flights of stairs to the ground level
  106. >once outside of the apartment complex, you look up at where you guess your window should be
  107. "Shit."
  108. >welp
  109. >nothing for it but to head down to Nightville
  110.  
  111. >you make your way through the dingy streets of downtown Ponyville
  112. >tall buildings with bright AM lights stand on either side of your path, lighting up the night almost as bright as day
  113. >just all the wrong colors
  114. >finally, in a little out-of-the-way alley, you see it
  115. >the entrance you use to get into Nightville is essentially what you'd refer to as a manhole
  116. >the ponies have some other name for it, pony-hole or something like that
  117. >you flip the cover off the manhole and get on the ladder down
  118. >it's always a pain to pull the cover back on while you're on the ladder
  119. >so much of a pain that only a six-foot biped with opposable thumbs could do it
  120. >the nice thing about that is that this is basically your own private entrance to the underground city
  121. >when you get to the bottom, you notice a tattered band sitting on the ground in the dim AM lighting
  122. >and then you notice your legs
  123. "Cheap piece of crap."
  124. >you've got a few hundred yards of sewer to navigate before you reach Nightville
  125. >once you get there, the AM lighing becomes bright and multicolored, just like upstairs
  126. >Nightville is essentially a single straightaway of defunct sewer under Ponyville
  127. >to get to where you're headed, you've got to walk through the marketplace
  128. >vendors at their neon stands shout at you, trying to get you to buy their wares
  129. >these wares consist mainly of shady AMs
  130. >AM, by the way, is applied magic
  131. >it's essentially the equivalent to what you knew on Earth as gadgets
  132. >the inhabitants of this world never developed electricity or combustion
  133. >but they never needed to
  134. >a large portion of this planet's creatures have psychokinetic abilities which they refer to as magic
  135. >you understand they've gone through something like a technological revolution in the past 100 years
  136. >that was when they figured out how to apply their magics to gadgets
  137. >hence AMs
  138. >but not all of these AMs are strictly speaking perfectly safe and legal
  139. >hence the AM black market
  140. >that's what this stretch of Nightville is
  141. >don't worry, there are drugs too
  142. >you stop to pick up a few grams of something ponies call "horseradish"
  143. >you're not really sure what it is
  144. >but it's good shit
  145. >once you're finally past the market, you reach Nightville's residential area
  146. >from here, it looks like a lot of random wooden boards
  147. >but underneath each board is a hole
  148. >and through each hole is somebody's home
  149. >you reach the board you were looking for and knock on it
  150. >a little green unicorn pushes the board off to the side from underneath and smiles at you with unfocused eyes
  151. >you can always count on this mare to be fried as bacon
  152. <"Oh hey Anon. What's up?"
  153. "Hey Lentil. My apartment isn't safe right now. Somebody's private security force just barged into it. I need a place to crash for a few days."
  154. >Lentil blinks
  155. <"I keep telling you, it's not safe for you to live upstairs. Why don't you just move in with me?"
  156. "I might just take you up on that."
  157. >"Really?"
  158. "Yeah. Oh, and I brought you something."
  159. >you toss her the bag of horseradish
  160. <"Oh, nice! Yeah, come on in dude, come on in."
  161.  
  162. <"Have a seat, make yourself at home, dude."
  163. >you really have no choice but to sit
  164. >the ceiling is too low for you to stand
  165. >Lentil eyes the bag of horseradish eagerly
  166. <"I'm gonna go, uh, make us some tea. Be right back."
  167. "Yeah, sounds good, thanks."
  168. >lentil disappears into the kitchen
  169. "Hey, Lentil."
  170. <"Yeah?"
  171. "I'm gonna band up while you're in there. Come and poke me when that tea's ready."
  172. <"Sure thing, space-monkey."
  173. >"space-monkey," by the way, is a reference to what you are and how you got here
  174. >the space part comes from the fact that you are Lieutenant Junior Grade Anonymous Poster, US Spacefleet
  175. >or, you were
  176. >til you crash-landed here
  177. >to this day, you don't understand how your fighter went from Earth's orbit to a smouldering wreck on another planet
  178. >and you probably never will, since anyone who could explain it is still on Earth
  179. >you'll probably die here too, unless they develop feasible interstellar travel back home within your lifetime
  180. >the monkey part comes from the fact that Lentil had a hard time believing your claim of being related to primates
  181. >you guess it's fair though, since she doesn't look much like a horse herself
  182. >the weird part is that they have monkeys on an unknown planet at all
  183. >the weirder part is that the dominant language here is nearly identical to English
  184. >again, anyone who could explain all of this is still on Earth
  185. >you were only taught to fly a fighter
  186. >the band slips on easily
  187. >you're back in the auditorium
  188. >it's all empty now, save for a few lingerers standing around chatting
  189. >the scroll is still in your hand
  190. >you hide it in your jacket before anyone sees a scroll just floating around and figures something's up
  191. >and out the door you go
  192. >navigating the Other World proper is sort of like piloting a fighter
  193. >except the fighter is your body
  194. >or, it feels like your body
  195. >really it's your mind
  196. >there are vast regions of the Other World that have never been formed into any definite shape
  197. >and you hope they never will be
  198. >the entrance to the place you're looking for is represented to your mind as a big red question mark
  199. >you touch it
  200. >the little room has a number of mailboxes with different names on them
  201. >you find the one labeled Anonymous, and place the scroll inside
  202. >this room belongs to someone who calls himself Darkstar
  203. >you have no idea who he is
  204. >but he's either got some powerful AMs, or he's a powerful unicorn
  205. >because you can already feel your payment falling into your lap in the Real World
  206. >you band out
  207. >before your very eyes, neobits are appearing out of little flashes of magic and scattering all over the couch
  208. >Lentil is sitting on the floor, across the room from you
  209. >smiling vacantly
  210. <"Anon."
  211. "What?"
  212. <"I forgot how to make tea."
  213. >oh geez
  214. "Did you do all that horseradish already?"
  215. <"Uh huh."
  216. >you gather up your neobits and stuff them in your pockets at fast as you can
  217. >you know what's coming next
  218. >slowly
  219. >and unsurely
  220. >Lentil climbs up onto the couch that's barely big enough for just you
  221. >sprawls out across your lap
  222. >and passes out
  223.  
  224. >Swift got it all wrong
  225. >no
  226. >worse than that
  227. >Swift was full of shit
  228. >when Gulliver wrecks his boat in a fantastic land, he's not taken off to see the king to discuss ethics
  229. >and talking horses anything but enlightened paragons of morality and reason
  230. >Lentil is your fault
  231. >she's the first pony you met on this planet
  232. >naturally
  233. >it was her uptown townhome you crashed into
  234. >for some reason, she wasn't too mad about being homeless
  235. >for some reason, she insisted on sticking around with you
  236. >you, the traumatized spacefleet vet
  237. >of course you got into drugs
  238. >of course you got Lentil into drugs too
  239. >no more white collar jobs for her
  240. >and no jobs at all for you, on account of your being human
  241. >no, it's not they didn't hire you for being a big scary space alien
  242. >actually, there are a lot of species on this planet, some of them very different from ponies
  243. >they all get along
  244. >not harmoniously or anything
  245. >but more or less peacefully
  246. >though you're only one of your species in this world
  247. >you're not so special
  248. >no
  249. >your problem was that you're invisible in the Other World
  250. >how can an invisible man conduct legitimate business?
  251. >he can't
  252. >that's why Darkstar is paying your rent
  253. >most of your spending money goes toward Lentil's rent
  254. >and drugs
  255. >mostly for her
  256. >Lentil twitches
  257. >you stroke her mane
  258. >your fault
  259.  
  260. >Lentil stirs and groans from your lap
  261. <"Anon? When did you get here?"
  262. "Couple hours ago. My place isn't safe right now. Just got busted into by somebody's private security."
  263. <"Mh. I keep telling you it isn't safe for you upstairs. Why don't you just move in with me?"
  264. >you sigh
  265. "Yeah. I'll probably do that. I can't keep paying two rents anyway."
  266. >the stoned little unicorn nuzzles your crotch absentmindedly
  267. <"Yeah… You'll like it better down here anyway."
  268. "Shit Lents, I need the sky over me."
  269. <"We'll paint the ceiling blue."
  270. "Let's start saving. We'll move out to the country."
  271. <"The fuck are we gonna do in the country?"
  272. "I dunno. We'll farm. Live off the fat of the land."
  273. <"Lotta work."
  274. "You ever see the stars, Lentil? It's worth it."
  275. <"I wanna see stars… I guess…"
  276. >and she's out cold again
  277. >gently
  278. >carefully
  279. >you push her off of your lap and get up
  280. >you regret it when your head makes contact with the concrete ceiling
  281. >fuck this
  282. >you've gotta get topside
  283. >you all but throw the board off of the entry-hole and climb out into the stagnant sewer air of Nightville
  284. >the ceiling looks solid black from down here
  285. >probably not safe to head upstairs for a few days
  286. >your pocket rumbles with magic for an instant
  287. >your next paycheck
  288. >sure enough, there's a letter in your pocket that your didn't put there
  289. >"Anonymous. Be at Cosmos' tomorrow at noon. D.S."
  290. >Cosmos is an AM vendor down here in Nightville
  291. >he's the asshole who sold you that cheap invisibility SP
  292. >the letter crumples easily in your hand
  293.  
  294. /"Hey, if it isn't my good friend Mr. Poster. How's that special-purpose working for you?"
  295. "Worked great. For all of 15 minutes."
  296. >Cosmos throws his hooves up
  297. /"Hey, all sales are final."
  298. "Yeah, yeah. I'm not here about that anyway. I'm meeting someone."
  299. >Cosmos wears strings of pulsating AM lights strewn over his face and horn
  300. >in the light of his headgear, you can see similar lines in the veins of his eyes
  301. >over his bloodshot eyes, you can see his eyebrows shoot up
  302. /"You get a letter from Mr. Darkstar?"
  303. "Uh, yeah. You know him?"
  304. /"He sends me neos, I give AMs to his friends. You got a friend waiting for you in the back."
  305. >beyond the black curtain of the shop
  306. >reclining on a dingy armchair is a little silver cutie in a black dress
  307. "Oh, hey."
  308. >she frowns at you
  309. ~"Do I know you?"
  310. "Uh…"
  311. >well, not in the strictest sense
  312. "No."
  313. >her frown turns into a glare
  314. ~"Sun. Darkstar put me up with a monster. What are you supposed to be, the muscle?"
  315. >a distinctive accent, country yet high class, drifts in from the other side of the curtain
  316. _"No, dear. That'd be you."
  317. >a donkey with lipstick and thick black eyelashes enters the room and looks at you seriously
  318. >you don't recognize her
  319. >but the little silver cutie's jaw clatters on the ground
  320. ~"Linwood Jinny?"
  321. _"Yes, child."
  322. "You two know each other?"
  323. ~"No, but I know the richest donkey in Equestria when I see her."
  324. "This is classy company, then."
  325. >the wealthy donkey ignores your remark
  326. _"Silver Lining, this is Anonymous Poster. He can go about the Other World as unnoticed as you can go about the Real World. Perhaps moreso."
  327. >Silver Lining's eyes narrow to itty bitty slits
  328. ~"How unnoticed?"
  329. "100% invisible, babe. It's a disability."
  330. >the little grey pony hops out of her chair
  331. >marches right up to you
  332. >glares at your hand up close
  333. >then glares right into your eyes
  334. "See something?"
  335. ~"Just wondering how those claws would feel on my ass."
  336. "I, uh, think you already know."
  337. ~"Jackass."
  338. >Linwood Jinny coughs rather loudly
  339. >Silver Lining balks
  340. ~"No offense."
  341. _"None taken. Mr. Poster is a creature from another world. His mind contains something totally incomprehensible to Equestrian life, so that, while navigating the Other World as nothing but mind, he is quite imperceptible to us."
  342. "It's all true. You said something about Little Miss Sunshine here being the muscle of this operation?"
  343. _"Yes. I do believe you've provoked her into showing you."
  344. >Silver Lining's eyes are closed
  345. >does anyone else smell smoke?
  346. >the little black dress she was wearing goes up in a rapid fireball
  347. >the first thing you notice is that the dress was hiding a pair of wings
  348. >the second thing you notice is a cute little cloud stamped on her butt
  349. >the last thing you notice is dozens of little bumps in her coat, all along her torso and wings
  350. >this makes you look twice
  351. "Holy shit, is that all…"
  352. _"Implants. I've got more AMs sewed up under my skin than I care to remember."
  353. >Linwood Jinny nods serenely
  354. ~"Yes. Due to Silver Lining's considerable augmentation, she is a more proficient spellcaster than many unicorns. The fact that she is, in fact, a pegasus, allows her to pass unsuspected through checkpoints which natural spellcasters would be barred from."
  355. "All right, well that's all well and good. So what do you do?"
  356. >the wealthy donkey taps her chest with dignity
  357. _"I am your liason with Darkstar. And I am paying for this whole operation."
  358.  
  359. Chapter 2: The Job
  360.  
  361. >the Ponyville University for Applied Magics
  362. >there is, of course, a building for it in the Real World
  363. >but, like all respectable institutions these days, there's also one in the Other World
  364. >you'd be surprised, most students actually prefer to go to the real thing
  365. >the thing that's really interesting about PVU-FAM, however
  366. >not only is its Other World building an exact copy of its Real World one
  367. >there's actually some kind of magical link between the two
  368. >it's mostly just there so the eggheads can croon about it
  369. >and it's mostly just used so that otherworldly students can attend the same lectures as the bodily ones
  370. >but Linwood Jinny claims that Darkstar has found another use for this link
  371. >how exactly you can take advantage of that is yet a mystery to you
  372. >apparently Darkstar is gonna show you himself
  373. >whoah
  374. >look at the ass on that co-ed
  375. >speaking of nice asses…
  376. >inside your jacket is the image of a little white cloud
  377. >you reach in and touch it
  378. >the room you're taken to is a little private movie theater
  379. >the movie?
  380. >everything Silver Lining is seeing and hearing right now
  381. ~"All right, jackass. Are you watching? You said you'd be watching by this time, so you'd better be. Look, you see this door? Go wait right outside of it."
  382. >aye aye, ma'am
  383. >you had been surprised to see Linwood Jinny take your band and hold it down on Silver Lining's back until it glowed
  384. >SPs aren't supposed to be modifiable, you see
  385. >but you were assured that no real modification had taken place
  386. >apparently, all Other World horn bands can all be paired with a certain AM implant
  387. >one of which Silver Lining has bulging directly out of her spinal cord
  388. >you step out the door of the theater and find yourself in the otherworldly halls of PVU-FAM once more
  389. >uh, what was that door number?
  390. >3-218?
  391. >fuck man
  392. >you're still on the ground floor
  393. >there are some otherworldly venues where you can just take off like a fighter, just like you can outside
  394. >there are some where you can even clip right through solid objects
  395. >but in a respectable institution like this?
  396. >normal laws of physics only
  397. >you break into a run
  398. >when you find the door, you touch the cloud in your jacket again
  399. ~"-not watching by now I'm gonna be so pissed."
  400. >in first person view, you watch a lithe, grey foreleg raise
  401. >and spew fire into the door
  402. >a bespectacled unicorn stallion looks with surprise through the now-empty doorframe
  403. >"Why, Silver Lining, what in the world is the meaning of-"
  404. >he's cut off by the hoof spraying forth some kind of purple miasma
  405. >his eyes droop, and then close, and then fall to the floor along with the rest of him
  406. ~"Nighty night, Dr. Test."
  407. >the sleeping professor belches in his sleep
  408. ~"Ugh. Do your thing, jackass."
  409. >out the door
  410. >into the hall
  411. >and
  412. >whoah
  413. >the door to Dr. Test's office is just as burnt down here as it is in the Real World
  414. >you stroll in
  415. >head over to the desk where you saw the professor fall
  416. >and wait
  417. "All right, Mr. Star, just waiting on those instructions. Any time now."
  418. >oh, Anon
  419. >when will you learn to keep your big fucking mouth shut?
  420. >no sooner do you speak than…
  421. >something happens
  422. >your hands seem to move of their own volition
  423. >they trace out a pair of glasses
  424. >over and over and over again
  425. >until finally, a solid glasses-shape hangs in the air over the desk
  426. "Oh, I don't like that. What am I supposed to do, touch it?"
  427. >no answer
  428. >you're left in complete control of your body
  429. >or… your mind, technically
  430. "All right, fine."
  431. >you touch the glasses
  432. >inside is a region much like the Other World proper
  433. >except that
  434. >in the ether
  435. >swim hundreds of copies of that old unicorn professor
  436. >holy shit
  437. >Jinny wasn't lying
  438. >you actually got inside of somebody's brain from the Other World
  439.  
  440. >long story short
  441. >the something guided you through the doc's brain
  442. >you grabbed a scroll from deep inside
  443. >dropped it off in Darkstar's box
  444. >got a fat payoff
  445. >blew most of it on something called "rainbow"
  446. >and now you're sitting just outside of your hole in Nightville
  447. >staring into Lentil's eyes
  448. >seeing a sea of stars
  449. >she says she can see heaps of gold in yours
  450. <"Dude…"
  451. "Yeah."
  452. <"Dude…"
  453. "Yeah."
  454. >a hoof plants itself on your back
  455. ~"Anonymous?"
  456. >Silver Lining apparently had another black dress
  457. >in her eyes you can see puffy white clouds in a happy blue sky
  458. "Liner, what's up? Lents, this is Liner. She helped me pay for the rainbow."
  459. <"Eternally grateful, dude."
  460. >Silver Lining blinks
  461. ~"You blew your payoff on a cheap high?"
  462. "No, no, of course not. That'd be stupid. I blew it on a really expensive high. Want some?"
  463. ~"Uh, sorry, I don't get high."
  464. >Lentil insists
  465. <"You sure? It's really good shit."
  466. >Lining looks at her hooves
  467. ~"No, I mean… I mean drugs don't work on me. I've got an implant for that."
  468. >Lentil pops another rainbow
  469. <"Bummer."
  470. >Silver Lining scowls at you
  471. ~"Sun, you two are really baked, aren't you?"
  472. "Like cookies."
  473. ~"Look, uh, Darkstar sent me a letter saying I would find you here. Said I should get to know you a little."
  474. "Why? Mission's over, isn't it?"
  475. ~"There's gonna be more. Darkstar's got a goal in mind. Says once he reaches it there'll be a payoff like you've never imagined. Says he'll be able to get us anything we want."
  476. >Lentil giggles
  477. <"There's that little house in the country, space-monkey."
  478. >Liner frowns
  479. ~"She your girl, Anonymous?"
  480. >you scratch your head
  481. "Uh…"
  482. >Lentil answers by throwing herself on top of your crossed legs
  483. <"Yeah. Sure. Fuck it. Why not?"
  484. >she has a giggling fit right there in your lap
  485. >apparently
  486. >when you're high on rainbow
  487. >you get to bypass all the uncomfortable conversations and formalities that would normally precede such a declaration
  488. "Okay, I guess she is. Why?"
  489. >Liner really likes looking at her hooves today
  490. ~"Uh, no reason. I was just…"
  491. >she sighs
  492. ~"Look, I get that you're high, but do you have to… I don't know, act so much like it?"
  493. >you stare at Silver Lining like she's got flies in her eyes
  494. >actually, you can see flies in her eyes
  495. >Lentil clambers up your torso and smiles
  496. <"Yeah. 'Cause that's the whole point of getting high."
  497. ~"Huh?"
  498. <"Yeah, dude. It's like drinking. You get drunk so you have an excuse to stumble around and dance on tables and shit, right?"
  499. ~"I don't get drunk either."
  500. <"Yeah, yeah, but you get what I'm saying, right? Like, what's the point of wasting all these neos on… on, like, fucking poison and shit, if I don't even get to look at my hoof and say how weird it is?"
  501. >Lentil hasn't sounded this eloquent in months
  502. >Liner's eyes have become a pair of whirling kaleidoscopes
  503. >for the first time since showing up, she sits down
  504. ~"Fuck it. Lemme try one of those. Maybe the implant wasn't made with this stuff in mind."
  505. "Fuckin' right. Let's ruin the fuck out of your life, Liner."
  506. >you hand her a rainbow
  507. ~"Sure."
  508. >she pops it
  509. >and swallows
  510. >no sooner does she swallow the little pill than there's a flash of light
  511. >and the rainbow clatters to the floor beneath her
  512. ~"Nope."
  513. >Lentil reaches for the pill and pops it herself
  514. <"Bummer, dude."
  515.  
  516. >you're awoken by a sheet of paper slapping you in the face
  517. >you're kept awake by a strong itch pretty much everywhere in your body
  518. >Lentil is still curled up at your side
  519. >she's twitching and groaning
  520. >but she seems more or less asleep
  521. >the letter reads
  522. >"Anonymous, are you quite sober yet? I can't tell how much of what Silver Lining told you last night you remember, so I'm sending Linwood Jinny to your hole to tell you what I want. Do hear her out. By the time I'm through I'll be able to reward you with quite literally anything you want. That little house in the country? Done. Rehab for you and your mare? Easy. All you've got to do is help me out here. - D.S."
  523. "Geez."
  524. <"Anon…"
  525. "Yeah?"
  526. <"We got any more of that rainbow?"
  527. "No."
  528. <"Shit."
  529. >Lentil rolls out of bed and lands hard on her hooves
  530. <"We got anything?"
  531. "Some pain-killers, maybe."
  532. <"That'll work."
  533. >you sit up
  534. >and immediately bash your head on the low ceiling
  535. >by the time you quit yelling and rubbing your head, you make out Lentil fiddling with a bottle
  536. >she's shivering
  537. "Lentil…"
  538. <"Yeah?"
  539. "You got it real bad."
  540. >at last, she manages to pop the lid off
  541. >it flies into some corner of the room
  542. <"I know."
  543. >what is that?
  544. >a dozen pills in her hoof?
  545. >nope, they're down her throat now
  546. "Listen, I'm getting a job offer. He's promising a big payoff."
  547. <"Yeah?"
  548. "Big enough to get us both rehab. Big enough to get us both out of Ponyville."
  549. >she glares at you
  550. <"Anon…"
  551. "Look at yourself. You're OD'ing on aspirin just to function."
  552. <"The hell is aspirin?"
  553. "It's, uh, what we called pain-killers back home. That's not the point. The point is, we don't have to live like this. I can make up for fucking up your life."
  554. <"Anon."
  555. >Lentil takes a deep breath
  556. >stops shivering
  557. >leans against the wall
  558. >sits down
  559. <"You didn't fuck up my life. With my job, I could have had enough for an apartment within a month. I chose to come with you. I fucked up my own life, of my own free will, like a big girl."
  560. "But why, for fuck's sake?"
  561. <"Because fuck office work. My cutie mark is a flower, I'm supposed to be a gardener. But there's no room to have a garden here in this shithole city. Figured I'd rather hang out with a space alien than spend another minute in that damned cubicle. Is that so weird?"
  562. "Well, sorry if I've been kind of boring for a space alien. But I can get you that garden."
  563. <"Anon, you can't trust every Nightville scumbag who promises you the moon. It's probably a scam."
  564. "It's the same guy I've been working for. He hasn't missed a payoff yet."
  565. >Lentil sighs
  566. <"Big payoff means a big job."
  567. "Yeah."
  568. <"How big?"
  569. "Don't know yet. Someone's coming over to tell me about it."
  570. <"Anyone I know?"
  571. "Calls herself Linwood Jinny. Apparently she's some kind of mega-wealthy donkey."
  572. <"That Linwood Jinny?"
  573. "Yeah. Geez, how come everyone has heard of this donkey but me?"
  574. <"Because you're new in this world."
  575. >something pounds on your doorboard
  576. "Yeah, well, that's probably her. Hang on a sec, you'll get to meet a celebrity."
  577. >you push the board off of the hole
  578. >sure enough, the old, posh donkey is right there
  579. "Hey, Jinny, Darkstar said you'd be coming."
  580. _"I know."
  581. "Uh, well, come on down, make yourself at-"
  582. >you're interuppted by a big clattering sound from behind you
  583. "Lentil?"
  584.  
  585. >it was Linwood Jinny's idea to get Lentil to Nightville's black market clinic
  586. >Lentil hasn't opened her eyes since she collapsed
  587. >she's twitching and groaning and sweating on a hospital bed
  588. >you're nearby, holding her hoof
  589. >Linwood Jinny is somewhere in the background
  590. >harrumphing like a rich jackass
  591. _"It was quite fortunate I arrived when I did."
  592. "Yeah. Real excellent timing. Makes you wonder."
  593. _"I say. What does it make you wonder, Anonymous?"
  594. >you stroke Lentil's mane
  595. _"I will tell you, Anonymous, that I received a letter from Darkstar telling me you'd be in need of my help."
  596. "I bet you did."
  597. >a darkly-colored unicorn doctor walks into the room
  598. >he's holding a syringe in his magic
  599. >he gives Lentil the shot
  600. "What's that supposed to do?"
  601. >the doctor ignores you and walks out of the room
  602. _"It's a bit of mundane medicine, Anonymous. As in, no magic involved. The effects may seem a bit shocking to you, but please do not panic."
  603. >Lentil
  604. >stops
  605. >fucking
  606. >breathing
  607. >you whirl on the donkey
  608. "You fucking had her killed!"
  609. _"No. No. No, I did not. Darkstar called it a 'chemically-induced false death.' Your friend is on the verge of multiple organ failure due to heavy drug use. This chemical will keep her preserved in this state until she is ready to be revived."
  610. "You mean until I've finished whatever job it is Darkstar wants me to do."
  611. _"More or less, yes."
  612. "Seems like an awful drastic measure to take to get one broke pillhead working for you."
  613. _"Quite. Unfortunately for you, you're a bit more valuable than the average broke pillhead."
  614. "I was gonna take the damn job anyway."
  615. _"And now you won't back out."
  616. >something sharp pricks you right in the butt
  617. >the dark unicorn doctor snuck up behind you and injected you with something
  618. "The hell'd you just have him do to me?"
  619. _"He's fixed you. Now, you are not a pillhead at all."
  620. "An implant?"
  621. _"Yes. For the success of our mission, it will be better for you to avoid drug use entirely."
  622. "Son of a bitch, that hurts. The hell is this mission anyway?"
  623. _"A number of assignments. We're going to do a bit of travelling around the country for the expedience of Silver Lining's physical missions. You're going to come with so that we can keep track of you."
  624. "And at the end?"
  625. _"Whatever you want. Your mare is restored to health, and you retire to the country. Perhaps more, depending on what exactly Darkstar is able to gain through our assistance.
  626. "If this is some kind of scam-"
  627. _"-It isn't."
  628. "If this is some kind of fucking scam, lady, and if Darkstar doesn't show his face for me to flatten…"
  629. _"Oh, what?"
  630. "I'm gonna wring your fucking neck."
  631.  
  632. Chapter 3: The Crystal Heart
  633.  
  634. >Ponyville Train Station is a big, dirty, grey building that probably used to be clean and white
  635. >it's full of lots and lots of cute little ponies
  636. >all of them giving you weird, sidelong glances
  637. >in a big city like this, the general populace never really gets used to having a big space alien living among them
  638. >but they do get used to weirdness in general
  639. >so their glances don't last too long
  640. >the anti-narcotic implant in your butt keeps you from feeling the effects of the cigarette in your mouth
  641. >but it would feel weird to stand around doing absolutely nothing
  642. >so you smoke away regardless
  643. >someone tugs at your pant-leg
  644. ~"Filthy habit, you know."
  645. >you take a long drag before responding
  646. "Not for me it isn't. Not anymore, anyway."
  647. >Silver Lining is clad in her signature black dress, plus a black, wide-brimmed hat and a pair of opaque sunglasses
  648. ~"Jinny hook you up with an implant?"
  649. "Yup."
  650. ~"You know, that implant is really designed for folks like me, who run the risk of getting poisoned or drugged against our will. But for a pillhead as bad as you…"
  651. "Yeah, yeah, I get it. What's with the hat? Were we supposed to bring disguises?"
  652. ~"No, no, I just… don't like showing my face out in big places like this. Makes me nervous. Besides, you're pretty much un-disguisable."
  653. "True."
  654. >your train squeals to a stop in front of you
  655. >you take another, long, ineffectual drag from your useless cigarette
  656. >then you cast it to the ground and crush it, leaving it to its final rest among hundreds of its brothers
  657. "What do you know about Darkstar?"
  658. ~"Hm?"
  659. "Darkstar. Our boss. What do you know about him?"
  660. ~"Uh, not much. Anonymous, do you think maybe we should wait til we get somewhere a little more private to discuss this?"
  661. "Relax. We both sneak around for a living, right?"
  662. ~"Uh, sure."
  663. "People aren't half as observant as you'd expect. And half the time, when they do notice something, they pretend not to. I don't think anyone here knows who Darkstar is, anyway."
  664. ~"Okay, fine. I still don't know much."
  665. >the doors on the train whirr open
  666. >ponies come filing out
  667. "What do you know?"
  668. ~"First got a hold of me about nine months ago. Makes a little note pop up in my face, tells me to do something, makes neos pop up in my face when I do it."
  669. "Same here. That's all he's ever done?"
  670. ~"Well, what else do you think he could do?"
  671. "I dunno. Ever have any weird coincidences with him? Anything like he's watching you, or reading your mind or something? Or anything… I dunno, weird?"
  672. ~"I mean, he probably has to know where we are to send us letters and money."
  673. "Yeah. Yeah, you're right. Shit, you're right."
  674. ~"Anonymous, what's all this about?"
  675. "Lentil's in a coma."
  676. ~"Sun, Anonymous, I'm sorry. And you're saying Darkstar did it?"
  677. "I dunno. I mean, she was chugging pain-killers when it happened, but it was a weird coincidence. Linwood Jinny drops by, my mare passes out, and Jinny is all ready with a hospital room and a chemical to put her into a coma."
  678. ~"Oh, Sun, and she told you she wasn't gonna cure Lentil til the job was finished?"
  679. "Yup."
  680. ~"That's fucked up. How come I never got anything like that?"
  681. "I gots a special brain."
  682. >the ponies stop filing out of the train
  683. >AM letters light up on signs over the doors
  684. >"ALL ABOARD TO THE CRYSTAL EMPIRE"
  685.  
  686. "The hell do they call this place the Crystal Empire for?"
  687. ~"What do you mean by that?"
  688. "I mean, it's not crystal, and it's not an empire. This place looks just like Ponyville."
  689. ~"Well, uh, I've heard it's got some crystal buildings near the center of town. And I guess it used to be an empire before Equestria had it. I dunno, it's got its own princess."
  690. "I thought there was only one princess."
  691. ~"I mean, there pretty much is. I think the royal family up here is just a ceremonial thing."
  692. "Oh, so there's a whole family of princesses?"
  693. ~"There's, like, three crystal princesses."
  694. "You'd think the oldest one would just call herself the empress."
  695. ~"I don't think Princess Twilight would let her. An empress is above a princess, you know."
  696. _"Discussing politics, are we?"
  697. >Linwood Jinny meets you on the platform
  698. >a big, fuzzy scarf is coiled around her neck like some kind of arctic python
  699. "Sure."
  700. _"How wonderful. There are so few who take an interest in such things anymore. But now is the time to discuss the task at hoof. Come with me."
  701. >Linwood Jinny's cab is drawn by a couple of ponies who look extra pastel
  702. >the inside is probably spacious for a donkey
  703. >but you have to hunch over
  704. _"Are the two of you familiar with the artifact that protects the Crystal Empire from the bitter winters of the north?"
  705. ~"The Crystal Heart?"
  706. "The what?"
  707. _"The Crystal Heart. It's an ancient artifact of great power, fueled by the feelings of the ponies of the Crystal Empire. Fueled by pride and joy, it casts a protective shield over the Empire and projects harmony across all of Equestria."
  708. "I haven't exactly noticed a lot of harmony in Equestria."
  709. _"Yes, well, the Empire has declined somewhat. There isn't much pride or joy in these parts anymore. Just enough to keep the city from being consumed by the cold."
  710. "All right. What happens if it's fueled by something else?"
  711. _"Then the Empire is vulnerable to enslavement, and the Heart projects misery and darkness over all of Equestria."
  712. "Shit, a literal heart of darkness. I bet the princesses here throw fantastic holiday parties."
  713. _"What is a heart of darkness?"
  714. "It's a, um, an expression from my world. I guess it doesn't really apply here."
  715. ~"Okay, wait. What does the Crystal Heart have to do with us?"
  716. >Linwood Jinny claps her hooves together once
  717. _"We're going to steal it."
  718. ~"Oooooh, I was so afraid you were gonna say that!"
  719. _"Calm down, child. We're not going to steal the whole thing. I believe you have an implant that contains a cutting spell somewhere in you?"
  720. ~"Yeah, I do. Still, it's completely impossible!"
  721. _"Of course it's possible. The Crystal Empire is not as wealthy as it once was. The Crystal Heart has only one guard posted at a time."
  722. ~"And he's definitely got an alert implant!"
  723. "A what?"
  724. ~"It means that if he sees something wrong, or if any harm comes to him, someone - probably the princesses themselves - will know immediately."
  725. "And you get a faceful of alicorn magic."
  726. ~"Yeah. Not fun."
  727. _"Buckets of fun, dear. You forget, we have Anonymous."
  728. "What can I do?"
  729. _"Didn't Darkstar only just show you how to enter a mind from the Other World?"
  730. >you grimace
  731. "Hell."
  732.  
  733. >the Other World flows around you
  734. "You know, I actually have no idea what to do."
  735. >the Crystal Castle doesn't have a magically-linked Other World location like PVU-FAM did
  736. >it's not like you can just waltz up to the spot where the guard would be right now
  737. >and he's obviously not going to be banded up right now
  738. >so it's not like you can just find him in the Other World
  739. /"Testing, testing, 1 2 3, can you hear me, Mr. Poster?"
  740. "Holy shit. Cosmos?"
  741. /"Ah, not exactly. Touch that little triangle there."
  742. >you look around until your eyes land on on a grey, isosceles triangle with rounded corners
  743. "Oh boy."
  744. >you touch it
  745. >the room you're taken into resembles your hole in Nightville
  746. >Cosmos stands grinning proudly at you from the middle of it
  747. /"Hey, Anon. Like the decor?"
  748. >you bump your head
  749. "Not even a little."
  750. /"Ugh. Picky."
  751. >Cosmos' horn glows for a moment
  752. >and the room becomes a spacefleet stateroom
  753. >just like you'd find on the fighter carrier you were attached to
  754. >and you fall flat on your ass
  755. "Holy fuck!"
  756. /"Ah, I take it you were hoping for less familiar, not more."
  757. >Cosmos' horn glows once more
  758. >and you're in Cosmos' AM shop
  759. /"Yeah, I guess this setting makes the most sense, considering what I look like."
  760. "Uh…"
  761. /"Obvious question time?"
  762. "Yeah. How can you see me?"
  763. /"Oh, that's not so hard. As the only being in this world without any kind of magic, the space you occupy appears as a void in the Other World to a mind as powerful as mine. From there it's not too hard to figure out what you look like right now and fill in the details."
  764. "Right. You're not Cosmos."
  765. /"We've been over that already."
  766. "Yeah. One more obvious question."
  767. >Cosmos grins and holds out his hoof
  768. /"Pleased to meet you. Hope you guess my name."
  769. "Darkstar."
  770. /"You bet."
  771.  
  772. >now that you've gotten some instructions, the task seems fairly doable
  773. >apparently, you can lock on to the guard's alert implant itself
  774. >every guard in this city has one
  775. >but Darkstar said you'd know the right one when you saw it
  776. >of course there's the question of why Darkstar can't just do it himself
  777. >but he says that the alert implant would notice him traipsing around in the guard's mind and get triggered
  778. >now
  779. >if you'll just focus on the concept of alertness
  780. >back on Earth, there was a concept called "planoforming"
  781. >this was the tech that was going to take mankind out of the Solar System
  782. >the theory went that, with the right equipment, a fighter pilot could pass through "space2"
  783. >that is, 2-dimensional space
  784. >there'd been a few successful experiments with it
  785. >but it wasn't a sure enough thing that it could be deployed to the spacefleet at large
  786. >it wasn't the sort of thing they were gonna trust a lieutenant junior grade with
  787. >but the all-knowing "they" said that it worked by imagining where you wanted to go
  788. >in other words, you imagine Mars, fold space with your fucking mind, and end up in Mars' orbit two seconds later
  789. >it's the sort of exciting military technology that all the cadets and recruits talk about excitedly for years on end before it gets shitcanned due to budget cuts
  790. >the older instructors at the Academy used this sort of wording to compare it to the experimental laser cannons of decades ago
  791. >anyway
  792. >navigating the Other World proper is a lot like how they say planoforming works
  793. >which is good, because otherwise searching for something specific in an infinite magical void would be impossible
  794. >this, then, what you're looking at
  795. >this is probably the most distinctive alert implant in the Crystal Empire
  796. >it's not necessarily that it's distinctive in and of itself
  797. >it's that it seems to be connected to something that's very distinctive
  798. >something very bright
  799. >something you almost can't bear to look at
  800. >you're guessing it's the Crystal Heart
  801. >okey dokey then
  802. >you grab hold of the little red exclamation mark
  803. >and close your eyes
  804. >and focus
  805. >and when you open your eyes
  806. >you're in
  807.  
  808. >the guard's mind is very different from the old professor's
  809. >there are no guards anywhere in sight
  810. >and rather than an ethereal void, this mind has the appearance of a classical pantheon
  811. >shining white pillars are placed logically throughout the building
  812. >besides the exit door, there are dozens of doorways cut into the marble walls, all labelled and sorted according to category
  813. >there are doors for memories, fears, hopes, senses, and many more functions of the mind
  814. >in the center of the space stands a massive, imposing, pink princess pony
  815. >this, you assume, must be an image of the Crystal Empire's chief princess
  816. >as a former officer, this is actually quite astonishing to you
  817. >this level of order and loyalty would be unimaginable in the US Spacefleet
  818. >you barely even remember who the president was when you got sucked here less than a year ago
  819. >anyway, Darkstar said you'd have to find a way to get the guard to not see Silver Lining
  820. >easy, right?
  821. >well, at least the door to the senses is clearly labeled
  822. >inside the senses door, there are a number of machines with buttons and screens
  823. >they're a lot like you'd find on the bridge of a space ship, actually
  824. >huh
  825. >there's no way this guard pony could know what an OJ-1000 computer display console looks like
  826. >you wonder how much of what you're seeing is from the guard, and how much of it is your own mind's interpretation
  827. >anyway
  828. >you pick out the console that displays what the guard is seeing
  829. >in the corner of his vision, you can pick out a shiny, floating, blue heart
  830. >but what he's staring at is a cute little silver mare in a little black dress
  831. >what the hell is she doing?
  832. >waiting for some kind of sign, probably
  833. >well
  834. >you were qualified on a few consoles
  835. >maybe if you just re-center the display a few times, the guard will just start looking in another direction
  836. >fiddling with the trackball to this end for a few minutes proves fruitless
  837. >the guard looks in another direction for about a second
  838. >and then looks right back at Liner
  839. >Darkstar said it would be difficult to just up and override a mind's free will
  840. >except for yours, apparently, because you're a weak-willed drug addict
  841. >considering how organized this guy's mind is, you're probably not going to steal his motor functions from him any time soon
  842. >hm
  843. >maybe turning off the console would make him go blind
  844. >but then, maybe if he suddenly goes blind that'll set off the alarm implant
  845. >well
  846. >radars and other sensors aren't always perfectly accurate
  847. >sometimes they mistake a cloud of space dust for a Chinese dreadnought
  848. >so these consoles were made with a certain feature
  849. >console watchstanders are never ever authorized to use it
  850. >therefore every console watchstander in the spacefleet knows how to do it perfectly
  851. >taking the trackball, you click on Silver Lining
  852. >a number of options appear on the character readout screen
  853. >one of them is "mark track as noise"
  854. >you select this one
  855. >Silver Lining winks out of existence
  856. >the guard's vision shakes slightly
  857. >a voice crackles out of one of the other machines
  858. >"Huh. I coulda sworn I saw someone."
  859. >nice
  860. >you touch the little cloud in your jacket
  861. >all you gotta do now is sit back and enjoy the show
  862. >except that there is no show
  863. >Silver Lining sees the guard's head moving as he scans the room for threats
  864. >but she has no idea what to do with it
  865. ~"So… is that it?"
  866. >fuck's sake
  867. >you run out the theater door
  868. >sit your ass back down at that console
  869. >and re-center the display up and down a few times
  870. >that should make the guard look like he's nodding
  871. >and you touch the cloud again
  872. ~"Uh, okay then."
  873. >as Silver Lining approaches the Heart, the guard does not react
  874. >nor does he react when a thin jet of blowtorch fire erupts from Liner's hoof
  875. >he doesn't even seem to notice your partner when she pockets the little shard of crystal she's cut off from the Heart
  876. >but when another guard walks in through the door behind him
  877. >and when that other guard shouts at Silver Lining
  878. >well
  879. >that gets his attention
  880.  
  881. >okay
  882. >fuck
  883. >you run out of the theater
  884. >in the guard's visual console, you can definitely see Liner again
  885. >the hearing machine crackles to life
  886. >"You! What are you doing?"
  887. "Who, me? I'm just, um…"
  888. >you can do it, Liner
  889. >just talk your way out of it
  890. >just act like you didn't know you weren't supposed to get so close
  891. >piece of cake
  892. >you got this
  893. >Silver Liner closes her eyes
  894. >and turns invisible
  895. >"What? Where did she go?"
  896. >red lights begin flashing in the guard's mind while a siren wails obnoxiously
  897. >well
  898. >if you had to guess
  899. >you'd say the alert implant has gone off
  900. >wonderful
  901. >you reach for the circuit breaker on the console and flip it down
  902. >"Hey! I can't see!"
  903. >well at least that worked
  904. >"Lockdown in 10…"
  905. >holy fuck
  906. >time to go
  907. >"9…"
  908. >you're running across the main part of the mind
  909. >"5…"
  910. >there's the door
  911. >"3…"
  912. >and you're out
  913. >huh
  914. >wasn't quite as climactic as you'd hoped
  915. >these sorts of escapes are supposed to be a bit more last-second
  916. >no, wait, you spoke too soon
  917. >the red exclamation mark that symbolizes the alert implant is flashing and wailing too
  918. >there's about a dozen guardponies flying right for it
  919. >ah, of course they have guards stationed in the Other World too
  920. >don't wanna bump into these guys
  921. >you band out
  922. >in the Real World, you've been sitting on a crystal couch in a crystal hotel room
  923. >between the hard rocks under your ass and the sun shining through the walls, it's actually really uncomfortable
  924. >Linwood Jinny is seated across from you, sipping some tea
  925. "Yes, Anonymous? Are you finished?"
  926. "Uh, sort of."
  927. "What does 'sort of' mean?"
  928. "It means that Silver Lining grabbed a shard of that Crystal Heart…"
  929. "So you're finished?"
  930. "But she's also being chased by guards right now."
  931. >Jinny sighs
  932. "Oh, dear."
  933. "Yeah. What do we do?"
  934. >Jinny looks out the window for a moment
  935. "There's nothing we can do."
  936. "Oh, come on, aren't you supposed to be rich? Can't you send, like, bodyguards in there or something?"
  937. "That would be a very quick way to stop being rich."
  938. "Can't Darkstar just poof her out of there?"
  939. "Not while the castle is on alert, no. There are certain protections in place right now."
  940. "Well… fuck."
  941. "If you would like to do something, Anonymous, you can put your band back on. Monitor Silver Lining and tell me whether she gets captured or escapes."
  942. >so you band up
  943. >and you touch that little cloud
  944.  
  945. >Silver Lining creeps invisible through the Crystal Castle
  946. >she secures herself in a dark room, and scans the area to make sure she's alone
  947. ~"Hey, jackass, you watching?"
  948. ~"I bet you're wondering why I didn't just pretend to be some tourist and back off from those guards."
  949. ~"Well, the truth is… so am I."
  950. ~"Sun, I'm a dumbass."
  951. ~"I'm gonna try something pretty stupid. It's gonna scramble all my AMs for a few minutes and attract all the guards, so if it doesn't work I'm screwed."
  952. >Liner approaches the thick crystal wall and taps it a few times with her hoof
  953. >it makes short, thick thudding sounds, like smacking the ground
  954. ~"Oh, never mind, the sound blast won't work here."
  955. ~"Shit."
  956. ~"Shit!"
  957. >Silver Lining waves her hoof in front of her face
  958. >she can see it
  959. >she focuses on her invisibility implant
  960. >tries to make it work again
  961. >but it's no good
  962. ~"Cheap piece of crap."
  963. ~"Well."
  964. >Liner slips out of her dress
  965. >she lays it out on the floor in front of her
  966. >using her blowtorch implant, she cuts two holes out of the sides
  967. >Silver Lining puts her dress back on and slides her wings through the holes she cut out
  968. ~"Hey, jackass, you said ponies aren't as observant as we think they are."
  969. ~"Think they'll notice all the bumps in my wings?"
  970. ~"I'll just try to keep my feathers fluffed up a bit."
  971.  
  972. ~"All right, I'm gonna try that idea to pass as a tourist now."
  973. >Silver Lining steps into the passageway and looks at everything with wide-eyes
  974. >she squints and grunts for a moment
  975. >and a map of the castle appears in the corner of her left eye's vision
  976. >it's got a little moving red blip to mark Liner's position, like one of those first-person video games from a hundred years ago
  977. ~"Neat trick, huh? Let's just take a left here, and…"
  978. >going around the corner, she all but smacks into a guard
  979. >"You!"
  980. >Liner jumps back, making a point of spreading her wings in surprise
  981. >the guard pauses and sighs
  982. >"Tourists are supposed to wait in the lobby. There's a dangerous mare in here, it's not safe to wander alone like that."
  983. ~"A dangerous mare? Is that her?"
  984. >she points to behind the guard
  985. >the guard turns to look at what she's pointing at
  986. >Silver Lining flexes her wing and pokes a bump under her dress with it
  987. >in the distance, a silver earth pony mare in a black dress runs across the passageway
  988. >"Hey! Stop!"
  989. >the guard runs off after the dangerous mare
  990. >Silver Lining keeps on walking
  991. ~"Like that illusion implant? It's even touchier than the invisibility one, it usually only works once a day."
  992. >she groans
  993. ~"Oh, Sun. I probably should've just let him take me to the lobby. That's where the front door is."
  994. >she's trotting down a stairwell now
  995. ~"Yeah, I know, my plan doesn't sound smart, but it's the only exit I've got."
  996. >down, down, down she goes
  997. >at last, Silver Lining picks a door to go through
  998. >she's in a large room filled with milling tourists and fidgety guards
  999. >"You there!"
  1000. >again, Liner shrinks while spreading her wings
  1001. ~"Th-the other guy told me all tourists had to come here…"
  1002. >the guards glare at the wings and groan
  1003. >"All right. Just wait in here with the others until the security alert is over."
  1004. >Silver Lining salutes and giggles
  1005. ~"Yes, sir!"
  1006. >then she stalks off to the corner
  1007. ~"All right, show's basically over. I'm just gonna wait here til they let us go."
  1008. >bright letters scroll over the map display in her left eye
  1009. >"No. Can hear guards comms. Already suspect you. Leave now before discovery. - D.S."
  1010. ~"Whoah. Darkstar?"
  1011. >no further lettering appears to answer her question
  1012. ~"Well, guess I'm leaving now."
  1013. >Silver Lining takes brisk steps toward the guard posted at the palace door
  1014. >"Ma'am, nobody is leaving during security alert."
  1015. ~"Oh, no, I just had a question."
  1016. >"What?"
  1017. >she points her hoof at the guard
  1018. >there's a huge, ear-shattering noise
  1019. >the theater dissapears, leaving you in the Other World proper
  1020. >you rip your band off and cradle your poor ears
  1021. >Linwood Jinny looks up
  1022. _"Well? Did she get away?"
  1023. "I, uh, I think so."
  1024.  
  1025. >it isn't til it's dark out that your hotel room's door opens and closes on its own
  1026. >Silver Lining flickers in and out of visibility
  1027. "I see you."
  1028. ~"I know, I know."
  1029. >in a moment, the silver pegasus stands fully visible
  1030. >her little black dress is completely missing
  1031. "So? What happened next?"
  1032. ~"Huh?"
  1033. "After you blasted the guard, I didn't get to see the ending."
  1034. ~"Oh. No, you pretty much did. I flew as fast as I could to the downtown area and mingled with the lowlifes for a couple hours. Then I went invisible and walked here."
  1035. "Meet any nice lowlifes?"
  1036. ~"Never."
  1037. _"Silver Lining, your clothes are missing. Do you still have the piece of the Crystal Heart?"
  1038. ~"Yeah, uh, the dress started coming apart after I cut those wing-holes into it. The shard is right…"
  1039. >Liner sticks her hoof up under her wing
  1040. ~"Here."
  1041. >Jinny takes the shard
  1042. _"Excellent. We'll leave for Canterlot tomorrow. I advise you to get your rest now."
  1043. >Linwood Jinny saunters off to another room
  1044. >moonlight is diffused through the crystal walls
  1045. >it gives Silver Lining's coat an ivory luster
  1046. "Hey, Liner."
  1047. >she sighs
  1048. ~"Do you have to call me that?"
  1049. "What?"
  1050. ~"Liner."
  1051. "It's a nickname."
  1052. ~"Just use my name."
  1053. "Silver Lining is too long, Silver by itself sounds dumb, and Lining by itself sounds wierd."
  1054. >a whining groan escapes her lips
  1055. ~"That's no fair. Anonymous is long, wierd, and dumb, and my only nickname for you offends Jinny."
  1056. "Lots of folks call me Anon."
  1057. ~"All right, fine. What did you want, Anon?"
  1058. "Why are you here?"
  1059. ~"Fuck's that supposed to mean?"
  1060. "I mean, like, I already told you what happened with Lentil."
  1061. ~"Right."
  1062. ~"Honestly, everything I've done with Darkstar has been about supporting Lentil in the first place."
  1063. "Okay."
  1064. ~"So what's your stake in all this?"
  1065. >Liner frowns
  1066. ~"No stake."
  1067. "All this risking your life, breaking the law…?"
  1068. ~"Just trying to get paid."
  1069. "That's it?"
  1070. >Liner scoffs
  1071. ~"Yeah. That's it. Nothing wrong with making money, is there?"
  1072. "No, sure, that's-"
  1073. ~"What you should really be asking is what's Jinny's stake in all this."
  1074. ~"Because she sure as shit doesn't need the money."
  1075.  
  1076. Chapter 4: The Last Job
  1077.  
  1078. >Canterlot Mountain is now visible from the train
  1079. >should be close enough
  1080. >technically, you can access any part of the Other World from any part of the Real World
  1081. >but otherworldly locales with real equivalents are weird
  1082. >if you try to get into them from too far away, it kind of hurts your head
  1083. >anyway, Liner has been somewhat less than a talkative companion today
  1084. >so you slip your band on
  1085. >and you make your way to the Canterlot Library
  1086. >inside the venue are shelves and shelves and shelves of books
  1087. >fortunately, you don't have to sift through any of them
  1088. >you sit down at the nearest table
  1089. "Who is Linwood Jinny?"
  1090. >a copy Who's Who in Equestria - 1111th Year of the Sun falls onto the table before you, open to a page with Jinny's face plastered onto it
  1091. >to anyone walking by, it'll look like the book is reading itself
  1092. >"Linwood Jinny was born in the 1024th year of the Sun…"
  1093. >that makes you look twice
  1094. >holy shit
  1095. >she's nearly a hundred years old
  1096. >you figured she was in her 60s or something
  1097. >"… in the frontier town of Dodge Junction. When Jinny was very youung, her parents came to a bad end by burglars."
  1098. >well that sucks
  1099. >"She was adopted by her great uncle, a burro named Dismule, and went to live with him in Canterlot."
  1100. "What the hell is a burro?"
  1101. >a copy of Western Slang and You - A Guide for the Not-So-Wild, 1005 edition flops open to the relevant page
  1102. >"We ain't got no donkeys out here in the Wild West, just burros. Burros count themselves as different from donkeys, and take pride in their history of hard work and rugged independence. You can find a few burros in almost every settlement in the West, every one of them happy to offer a smile and a helping hoof."
  1103. >right, got it
  1104. >apparently Equestria had a Wild West back in the day
  1105. >the more you know
  1106. >back to Who's Who
  1107. >"Dismule had spent decades of his life mining the fields outside of towns such as Picacholt and Marenberg. During this time he amassed a great fortune, and when Jinny joined him he was enjoying a very lavish retirement. When he passed away, his fortune went to Jinny."
  1108. >uh huh
  1109. >but what did she do with that fortune?
  1110. >you turn the page
  1111. >and on it is a passage about some guy named Loose Cannon
  1112. >huh?
  1113. >you flip back to the previous page
  1114. >that's it?
  1115. >Jinny's story ends with her inheriting her fortune
  1116. >which probably happened over seventy years ago
  1117. >the hell's she been doing since then?
  1118. >surely she's not famous just for being rich
  1119. "Uh, get me any books at all that mention Linwood Jinny."
  1120. >a half a dozen books clatter onto the table
  1121. >the one that catches your eye is the one open to a photo of Linwood Jinny shaking hooves with Princess Twilight Sparkle
  1122. >"Linwood Jinny pictured with Princess Twilight at the grand opening of the Dismule Hotel."
  1123. >oh, photo op with the princess?
  1124. >"The Dismule Hotel was the first building to feature interior lighting based on applied magics. This revolutionary sctructure was the first of many which Linwood Jinny would finance for Picacholt, launching what had been a little apple-farming settlement into the avant garde of the modern age."
  1125. >reading on, it seems like Jinny turned this Picacholt into a sort of Equestrian Reno
  1126. >Reno as opposed to Las Vegas, because you happen to know of a casino city called Las Pegasus
  1127. >but why Picacholt?
  1128. >what's so special about it?
  1129. >is it just because her uncle mined there?
  1130. "Tell me about Picacholt."
  1131. >The History of Picacolt plops open to page one
  1132. >"Picacholt was founded in 985 by Cider Donut of the Apple Family…"
  1133. >yeah, yeah, yeah
  1134. >you sort of skim through the book til you notice something that interests you
  1135. >and it interests you a whole lot
  1136. >"Landmarks nearby: McCowlick's Leap, The Ghost Town of Marenberg, Darkstar's Mountain…"
  1137. >"Darkstar's Mountain…"
  1138. >holy hell
  1139. "All right, get all of this shit off the table and tell me all about Darkstar's Mountain."
  1140. >the pile of books disappears
  1141. >in their place falls an old map
  1142. >you can pick out Darkstar's Mountain easily enough between Picacholt and Marenberg
  1143. >but that's all the information you can get out of the map
  1144. "What the fuck, is that it? I need-"
  1145. >something pokes you in the Real World
  1146. >you nearly jump out of your fucking skin
  1147. >the band comes off
  1148. >Silver Lining is staring at you
  1149. ~"Anon, we're here."
  1150.  
  1151. _"Ah, Canterlot. I can still remember when it was the capital."
  1152. "Why would Canterlot be the capital? I thought the princess lived in Ponyville."
  1153. _"When I was very young, Princess Twilight was only one of five princesses. Though really, it was three, since the Crystal princesses are more ceremonial than anything."
  1154. ~"Oh, come on, even you weren't born before Celestia and Luna disappeared."
  1155. _"I was, actually. They had more or less handed the kingdom to Princess Twilight by the time I was born, but I was a school-filly before they disappeared."
  1156. ~"What? How old are you?"
  1157. _"That's an impolite question."
  1158. "94."
  1159. _"Snooping. Even less polite."
  1160. "So is kidnapping my mare. So these other two princesses lived here in Canterlot?"
  1161. _"Yes, yes, yes. In that very castle, as a matter of fact."
  1162. ~"Hang on, am I the only one who's totally not okay with Jinny being in her 90s?"
  1163. _"What? You didn't think I was a pretty young thing like you, did you?"
  1164. ~"I mean, sure, you're old, but… how?"
  1165. _"Don't think you're the only one who can afford implants, Ms. Lining. Furthermore…"
  1166. >Jinny glances at you suggestively
  1167. _"Don't think I don't know how you could."
  1168. >Liner looks at the ground
  1169. "Huh?"
  1170. _"Our next assignment will be to retrieve something from the warehouses of Canterlot Applied Magics. A single horn band. It will be under heavy magical shielding, so you, Anonymous, will have to do something about it from the Other World."
  1171. "Well how the hell do I do that?"
  1172. _"I am to give you the shard from the Crystal Heart, and then you are to speak with Darkstar in the Other World."
  1173. ~"And whenever that's done I sneak in and take the band?"
  1174. _"And Ashy Pool won't know what hit her."
  1175. "Ashy Pool?"
  1176. >Liner sighs
  1177. ~"Yeah. CEO of Canterlot Applied Magics."
  1178. _"Anonymous has met her before, in a manner of speaking."
  1179. >Silver Lining's eyes narrow in realization
  1180. ~"Oh, I bet he did."
  1181. "Yeah, yeah, it was that time I slapped your ass."
  1182. >Linwood Jinny breaks out into loud, braying guffaws
  1183. _"Oh, my."
  1184.  
  1185. >Silver Lining slips into the warehouse without much trouble
  1186. >and you band up and wait
  1187. >pretty soon, you see that little horn-shape that takes you out of the Other World proper
  1188. /"Anon! How's my favorite human?"
  1189. >Darkstar is, again, standing in the guise of Cosmos within an otherworldly replica of Cosmos' AM shop
  1190. "Fantastic. How the hell do I crack that shield?"
  1191. /"Oh that's easy, easy. You got the shard from the Crystal Heart with you?"
  1192. "In the Real World, yeah."
  1193. /"Perfect, this'll work just fine then."
  1194. >Darkstar waves his hoof, and a scroll falls into it
  1195. /"Little spell I cooked up. I'd cast it myself, only I can't."
  1196. "Well, I'm the only creature on this planet without any magic of any kind, so I'm not sure what you want me to do with it."
  1197. /"Ah, don't worry about that, don't worry. I got Silver Lining staring right at the shield. It's generated by an artifact that was created by some old fart named Starswirl, who you've probably never heard of."
  1198. "You're right, I haven't heard of him."
  1199. /"That's fine. You can look him up next time you try digging into my business at the library."
  1200. "Saw that, did you?"
  1201. >Darkstar grins
  1202. /"Ain't much in this Other World I don't see."
  1203. "I'm probably gonna keep digging, you know."
  1204. >Darkstar shrugs
  1205. /"Yeah, whatever. That's fine. In fact, I encourage it. Dig away."
  1206. "Uh huh. The shield."
  1207. /"Yeah. Yeah yeah yeah yeah. It's real easy. The Crystal Heart is both a shield-generating artifact and an empathy-generating artifact."
  1208. "Meaning?"
  1209. /"Meaning that when you cast that spell, the shard in your pocket is gonna start cozying up to the shield until it's able to replicate the shield's substance perfectly."
  1210. "So… it'll be a double shield?"
  1211. /"No. My spell is gonna use the replicated shield substance to punch a tunnel right through the shield. Silver Lining will sneak through, grab the band, and teleport out."
  1212. "She's got an implant to teleport?"
  1213. /"Nope. But that horn band is general purpose."
  1214. >general purpose
  1215. >the words punch you in the gut and force you to exhale
  1216. >even you know that GP bands are the holy grail of AMs
  1217. >anyone who's got one can use it to do almost anything imaginable
  1218. >they're probably the most illegal thing on the planet
  1219. "So that's why you want it."
  1220. >Darkstar looks up and sways his head in thought
  1221. /"Eh, among other reasons."
  1222. "All right, okay. But how do I use the spell?"
  1223. /"Oh, right. It's easy, real easy, I swear. All you gotta do is flip into Silver Lining's theater, stare straight at the shield, and read what's on the scroll."
  1224. "That's it?"
  1225. /"Uh, a timer will appear. Keep it in your jacket, check up on it in about an hour, and then it should be ready."
  1226. "An hour?"
  1227. /"Yeah, yeah yeah. Spend a little time doing whatever, then take out the timer and push the red button on the top."
  1228. "Then the tunnel will appear?"
  1229. /"Yep. Silver Lining gets the band, gets out, mission accomplished."
  1230. "Huh."
  1231. /"Aw, what's the matter? You look like you got a burning question on your mind."
  1232. "I have about a billion."
  1233. /"Ah! Only got time for one."
  1234. "Okay, how the hell is it possible for me to cast this spell?"
  1235. >Darkstar scoffs
  1236. /"What a waste of a question."
  1237. "Well?"
  1238. /"Eh, you'll find out. Later."
  1239. >the AM shop disappears, leaving you floating in the swirling Other World proper
  1240.  
  1241. >sure enough, the big screen in Liner's head is occupied by a big blue dome
  1242. >you take a seat and unroll the scroll Darkstar gave you
  1243. >what the hell even is this?
  1244. >you can't recognize this language as anything
  1245. >but Darkstar had the courtesy to write it out in the English alphabet
  1246. >so you sound out the words out loud
  1247. >there's no perceptible change in the shield
  1248. >you're not sure if it worked
  1249. >but a few words scroll across Liner's map display
  1250. >"Hour starts now."
  1251. >Silver Lining blinks, shakes her head, and sighs
  1252. ~"Finally. I'm gonna go sneak around a little."
  1253. >"Don't get in too much trouble now."
  1254. ~"Yeah, whatever."
  1255. >the picture on the screen changes ever so slightly
  1256. >it takes you a moment to realize that Silver Lining's muzzle has disappeared from view
  1257. ~"Going invisible. You can stick around and watch if you want, Anon, but it probably won't be as exciting as last time."
  1258. >you do stick around for a few minutes
  1259. >but it doesn't take long for you to get bored of Silver Lining winding through grey passageways
  1260. >you make sure the timer is in your jacket
  1261. >then you head out the theater door
  1262. >a quick flight later and you're in the Canterlot Library again
  1263. >what?
  1264. >Darkstar said 'dig away'
  1265. >finding a table, you get to work right away
  1266. "Tell me about Darkstar's Mountain."
  1267. >once again, the old map falls on the table
  1268. >not much help
  1269. "Okay, smartass, now why is it called Darkstar's Mountain?"
  1270. >a book titled Once Upon a Time in the West plops open to a story titled "Darkstar the Peg-Horned"
  1271.  
  1272. >"Many years before the First Year of the Sun, before the Princesses came to Equestria, and before Equestria came to the West, there was a sorcerer named Darkstar."
  1273. >"Darkstar left his home among the Unicorn Tribe to seek fortune and warmth in the West, for in those days the squabbling of the Three Tribes made the East very cold."
  1274. >"Darkstar found a place in a village, and for a while his magic made life very good for his fellow settlers."
  1275. >"But, like so many who would come after Darkstar, the hardness and heat of the desert turned him cruel."
  1276. >"He became a bandit, the first the West had ever known."
  1277. >"His magic, which he had once used to give so freely, was now used to take what he wanted from other settlers in the West."
  1278. >"But one day, he fell in love with a beautiful young mare, and promised to her that she would live in luxury all the days of her life if she would but marry him."
  1279. >"But the young mare wouldn't have Darkstar, and had him shamefully driven out of her village."
  1280. >"So, in the dead of night, Darkstar snuck into her house and stole her away."
  1281. >"Now the young mare's father was a sherrif, and he gathered a band of stallions and tracked Darkstar through the desert.
  1282. >"It happened that Darkstar's lair was two days' journey from the village. So when the next night fell, Darkstar made camp by the mountains, bound his prisoner fast, and slept."
  1283. >"But the sherrif pursued his daughter without rest, and caught up with Darkstar that very same night."
  1284. >"So, while Darkstar was sleeping, the sherrif stamped upon his horn so hard that it broke. So great was Darkstar's pain that he immediately lept up and ran senselessly into the mountains, where the sherrif assumed he must surely perish."
  1285. >"The sherrif took his daughter home, and they lived happily for the rest of their lives."
  1286. >"But Darkstar still lived."
  1287. >"In the mountain he'd fled to, he carved a new horn for himself out of stone and afixed it upon his head. With it, his magical powers were even greater than before."
  1288. >"And so, Darkstar became known as Darkstar the Peg-Horned. With his Peg-Horn he continued to raid the villages of the West for many years. It is said that when he grew tired of raiding, he turned his Peg-Horn to the creation of many dark magical artifacts, to which many settlers attribute the lawlessness of the West to this very day."
  1289. >after the story, there's a few footnotes from the editor
  1290. >"Many sorcerers in the time since Darkstar have tried to make Peg-Horns of their own. None have succeeded, and the means of its creation remains a mystery even in the modern age."
  1291. >"For centuries, it was believed that Darkstar's Mountain was still haunted by the dark sorcerer. Reports of strange, apparently-magical phenomena were commonly reported over Darkstar's Mountain until the year 1005, at which point such sightings suddenly grew scarce."
  1292. >"Today, the city of Picacholt lies in the shadow of Darkstar's Mountain. You won't find many ponies there who still believe the old legend, but the apple farmers who first settled the land attributed the success of their farms to the unknown magics of Darkstar."
  1293.  
  1294. >okay
  1295. >so Darkstar named himself after a fairy tale villain
  1296. >this might not be super useful in finding out anything about him
  1297. >still…
  1298. >you can't help noticing that there's a connection between Linwood Jinny and Darkstar
  1299. >Picacholt
  1300. >Jinny's fortune was made there
  1301. >Darkstar's namesake was made there
  1302. >is it a coincidence that these two are working together?
  1303.  
  1304. >all right
  1305. >you're not sure what to make of all this just yet
  1306. >you pull the timer out of your jacket
  1307. >you've still got a good bit of time before the spell is finished
  1308. >even so, you reach for the little cloud
  1309. >just to take a little break from all of the digging
  1310. >Silver Lining is crouched in what you assume is a ventilation system
  1311. >through the grate, an old, fat, grey mare sits at a desk
  1312. >Ashy Pool
  1313. >without her big fur coat, you now see a pair of wings sticking out of holes in what appears to be the pony equivalent of a pantsuit
  1314. >Liner's hoof is pointed directly at the sitting figure
  1315. >Silver Lining's breathing is a faint, but ragged and irregular series of gasps and sobs
  1316. >the sound of her own heartbeat is so dominating that the theater is vibrating with each thumping contraction
  1317. >text flashes across her map display
  1318. >"Stop."
  1319. >the little silver hoof straightens its aim and steadies itself
  1320. >holy shit
  1321. >she's going for a kill
  1322. >"You'll spoil the mission."
  1323. >Silver Lining is frozen
  1324. >even her breathing has stopped
  1325. >"I'll help you later, I promise."
  1326. >the obvious question of "why should I believe you?" seems to occur to Darkstar
  1327. >and he answers it without being asked
  1328. >"I'd like her out of the way too."
  1329. >"I can pay you."
  1330. >what the hell?
  1331. >you get up and make your way to the theater door
  1332. >but you're walking backwards
  1333. >because you're unable to tear your eyes away from the screen
  1334. >but Silver Lining sighs, almost inaudibly
  1335. >she looks away
  1336. >you exit the theater
  1337.  
  1338. >back in the library, you regret taking your little break
  1339. >that was supposed to take your mind off or the questions you already had
  1340. >instead, it's given you even more questions to chew on
  1341. >just on the off-chance it works…
  1342. "What's Silver Lining's relationship with Ashy Pool?"
  1343. >nothing appears to answer your question
  1344. "Figures. Give me a history of Picacholt."
  1345. >your old friend, The History of Picacholt, lands on the table, open to page one
  1346. >it's actually kind of a thick book
  1347. >you check your timer again
  1348. >yeah, no, definitely not enough time to get through it all
  1349. >you flip through a few pages until a chart labled "Picacholt's Prehistory" catches your eye
  1350. >it's a brief overview of the town's founding in 985 to the opening of the Dismule Hotel in 1056
  1351. >an entry under the year 1005 catches your eye
  1352. >"The Peg-Horn of Darkstar is recovered by Anonymous the Man."
  1353. >you close your eyes
  1354. >when you open them, the sentence is still there
  1355. >so you blink again
  1356. >to no avail, as the impossible sentence remains
  1357. >Anonymous… the Man?
  1358. >isn't that you?
  1359. >unless…
  1360. >you flip to the back of the book until you find a glossary
  1361. >the entry you're looking for is right near the top of the page
  1362. >"Anonymous the Man - a creature from another world. He was educated by Twilight Sparkle upon his unexplained arrival in Equestria in the year 1003. In the year 1005 he set out on his own for Picacholt, and eventually became the Last Legend of the West."
  1363. >holy shit
  1364. >there was a real life human being in Equestria over a hundred years before you showed up
  1365. >and in the year 1005…
  1366. >would that have put him in Picacholt at the same time as Dismule?
  1367. >and he was taken in by Twilight Sparkle at one point…
  1368. >is there something more to that photo of Princess Twilight with Linwood Jinny than meets the eye?
  1369. >the theory that's been conceived in your mind is insane
  1370. >impossible
  1371. >but it provides a feasible explanation for at least one question
  1372. >maybe even more feasible than the one Darkstar himself gave you
  1373. >How can Darkstar see you in the Other World?
  1374.  
  1375. >your insane idea doesn't get as far as getting put into words
  1376. >the timer in your jacket starts buzzing obnoxiously
  1377. >library-goers are staring in your general direction, wondering what the hell that empty table is doing
  1378. >you touch the cloud
  1379. >Liner's theater is now showing an action flick
  1380. >the heroine of the film is engaged in a magical firefight against guards with similar augmentations to hers
  1381. >actually…
  1382. >their black armor looks awful familiar
  1383. >if you had to guess, you'd say that these were the goons who broke into your apartment all those days ago
  1384. >which makes sense, because you'd just stolen from Ashy Pool
  1385. >but it also terrifies you, because that means Ashy Pool knows you stole from her
  1386. >what the hell did you steal from her anyway?
  1387. >words flash bright red on Liner's eye-display
  1388. >"Anon, not yet."
  1389. ~"Oh, is he watching now? Hang on a second, jackass!"
  1390. >"You are surrounded, Silver Lining!"
  1391. >judging by that voice's flabby quality, you'd guess that it belongs to Ashy Pool herself
  1392. >"Did you really think someone with so many implants would be able to sneak into my warehouse undetected? I was able to watch your movements the whole time!"
  1393. ~"Fuck me, what a bitch. Hold on just a sec, Anon. One good sound blast should knock them all out."
  1394. >the words in Silver Lining's eye panic at this
  1395. >"Anon, now!"
  1396. >Liner leaps from behind her cover
  1397. >you press the button on the timer
  1398. >the sound blast tears the theater to pieces
  1399. >you're sitting in the Canterlot Library again
  1400. >a few seconds later, something warm plops into your lap in the Real World
  1401. >you take off your band
  1402. >Silver Lining is lying belly up on your lap, hindlegs crossed and forelegs folded under her head
  1403. >stretched beneath Liner's mane is a shimmering band of rainbow light
  1404. >she grins
  1405. ~"Neat, huh?"
  1406.  
  1407. Chapter 5: Darkstar's Mountain
  1408.  
  1409. >when the job was finished, Jinny led you and Silver Lining to two big potato sacks full of bits
  1410. >real bits, not neobits
  1411. >as in, the ones made with real gold
  1412. >after that, you and Liner parted ways
  1413. >you went on the first train back to Ponyville
  1414. >she chose to stay in Canterlot
  1415. >but you made sure Linwood Jinny came with you to Ponyville
  1416. >took her to the black market hospital in Nightville
  1417. >made her get Lentil fixed up
  1418. >get Lentil one of those anti-drug implants
  1419. >get Lentil woken up
  1420. >Jinny went off to wherever the hell it is she went off to
  1421. >Lentil was confused
  1422. >didn't realize it had been days since her collapse
  1423. >she said it was nice that you'd gotten the money
  1424. >but she seemed kind of uneasy
  1425. >you took her back to the hole
  1426. >wanted to get started on planning your new lives together
  1427. >with thousands of gold bits, you could buy the nicest house in any part of the country she liked
  1428. >get her that garden she's wanted since she was little
  1429. >Lentil seemed quietly enthusiastic
  1430. >but first, she wanted to pick up some rainbow
  1431. >when you told her about the implant
  1432. >that's when the problems started
  1433. <"You had them implant me?"
  1434. "Yeah. Yeah, I've got one too. We're better now, we'll never have to waste our time on horseradish or rainbow or anything else ever again."
  1435. <"I happened to like horseradish and rainbow."
  1436. "It's a dangerous habit."
  1437. <"It's a habit I happened to like!"
  1438. >that was three days ago
  1439. >today, you're holding a note in your hands
  1440. >a heap of country living brochures lies crumpled up beneath your back
  1441. >a plate of the fanciest herbs and flowers in Nightville sits uneaten on the table
  1442. >a trail of bits leads from your potato sack to just underneath the entrance-board
  1443. >you found the note tacked up to the board this morning
  1444. >"You ruined my life."
  1445. >you're alone in the hole
  1446.  
  1447. >how long have you been staring at that note?
  1448. >days?
  1449. >seconds?
  1450. >you feel warm
  1451. >there's a helium baloon in the back of your head
  1452. >and a nasty tuna salad in your gut
  1453. >your mouth feels sewn shut
  1454. >poof
  1455. >a new note winks into existence and flutters down onto your chest
  1456. >you pick it up
  1457. >"Quit moping and meet me in the Other World already."
  1458. >without thinking about who exactly wants to meet you, you get up and grab your band
  1459. >it slides on smoothly
  1460. /"There you are. All right, you know the drill. Touch the little grey triangle."
  1461. >the image of Cosmos in the image of Cosmos' AM shop
  1462. >the entity who calls himself Darkstar
  1463. "I wasn't moping that long, was I?"
  1464. /"Eh, it was a couple hours. I got sick of waiting."
  1465. "What do you want?"
  1466. >Darkstar grins and shakes his head
  1467. /"Man, what a hussy, yeah?"
  1468. >you can't find a response to this
  1469. /"I mean, all you do for the past nine months is everything for her, and how does she repay you?"
  1470. "What do you want, Darkstar?"
  1471. /"Listen, I got a story for you. Wanna hear it?"
  1472. "Not really."
  1473. /"That's the spirit. Once upon a time, there was a young mare who lived in the Old West. The ancient West, really."
  1474. /"She was a sheriff's daughter. Never had to work a day in her life. She was bored, Anon. Bored out of her fucking skull."
  1475. /"One day, a famous outlaw, a unicorn wizard of evil reputation, came to her town. When the outlaw saw the girl, he fell in love immediately, and asked her to run away with him."
  1476. /"She agreed, and that very night the two of them made off into the desert."
  1477. /"As they journeyed to the evil wizard's lair, the girl began to realize that he wasn't so evil after all."
  1478. /"Oh sure, he stole and terrorized, and even killed sometimes…"
  1479. /"But, smitten with the young mare's beauty, the wizard's worldview was turned on its head. He made flourishing, poetic promises to commit no more crimes, and to use his powers to help good villages like the one the young mare came from."
  1480. /"Yes, the evil wizard had, within him, aspirations to goodness."
  1481. /"And the sherrif's daughter was disgusted."
  1482. /"On the second night, the girl saw her father, searching for her in the desert night."
  1483. /"The sherrif would have passed the girl by, if she hadn't screamed for him."
  1484. /"The rest of the story goes more or less like the version you read in the library."
  1485. >you frown
  1486. "You didn't ask me here to tell me a story."
  1487. >Darkstar laughs
  1488. /"Well of course that's not all I wanted to do, but I thought the story might help you."
  1489. "It didn't."
  1490. /"The moral of the story will. The sherrif's daughter has something in common with your missing mare."
  1491. >you can feel your lip curling into a scowl
  1492. "And what's that?"
  1493. /"Self-destruction."
  1494. "What?"
  1495. /"Well, think about it. You're a gardener by cutie mark, but you're stuck working some office job you hate."
  1496. /"But one day, a big, scary monster drops out of the sky and blows up your home. Almost immediately, he gets caught up in crimes and drugs, turns into a total lowlife."
  1497. "Yeah, I know what I did."
  1498. /"But did you ever ask yourself, what reason could a well-off mare possibly have for running off with someone like that?"
  1499. >a flourescent lightbulb in your brain gradually flickers on
  1500. "You're saying…"
  1501. /"Yup."
  1502. "And all that talk about fixing up our lives…"
  1503. /"In her mind? An unforgivable offense. The exact opposite of what attracted her to you in the first place. Your sweet little Lentil wanted to be used up, stepped on, and destroyed."
  1504. "But why?"
  1505. /"Who knows? Some folks are just like that. They're chronically bored, is what they are."
  1506. >you stand still
  1507. >just processing this theory
  1508. "So the sherrif's daughter, did she really live happily ever after, just like in the book from the library?"
  1509. >Darkstar laughs
  1510. /"Oh, no. Many years passed, turning the pretty young mare into an ugly old spinster. She sought out the mountain lair she'd driven the wizard into. Threw herself at his hooves. Begged him to save her from the dullness of everyday life."
  1511. "So what'd he do?"
  1512. >Darkstar grins
  1513. >wide and toothy
  1514. >like a crocodile
  1515. /"He trapped her in a crystal ball and buried it deep beneath the mountain. She's still there to this day, doomed to eternal boredom."
  1516. >a laugh bursts through your lips
  1517. "That's a good story, man."
  1518. >and you frown
  1519. "But you're not that wizard, are you?"
  1520. >Darkstar smiles and shakes his head
  1521. /"Not exactly, no. I'm not Darkstar the Peg-Horned, if that's what you're asking."
  1522. "So who are you?"
  1523. /"I like to think of myself as Darkstar the Mind-Melder."
  1524. "But who are you in the Real World?"
  1525. >Darkstar's mirth reaches a fever pitch
  1526. >he spends several minutes letting out bellowing guffaws
  1527. /"Tell you what. When you band out, you'll find a little present waiting for you in your hole. Take it, and come look for me. I think you know where to find me."
  1528. >before you can say anything, Darkstar sweeps his horn across the room, destroying it and leaving you floating in the Other World proper
  1529. >something is definitely in your lap in the Real World
  1530. >you take off your band to see what it is
  1531. >and there in your lap sits a shimmering band of rainbow
  1532.  
  1533. >even with the missing hoofful of bits Lentil stole, you're still a wealthy man
  1534. >you've booked yourself a first class seat on a train out West
  1535. >a train to Picacholt
  1536. >why the hell are you doing this?
  1537. >maybe it's because you've never lived without a purpose before
  1538. >going through the Academy to become a Spacefleet pilot
  1539. >climbing the ranks in the Spacefleet
  1540. >though you were only in long enough to climb one rank
  1541. >then you crash landed here
  1542. >and you made Lentil the purpose of your life pretty quick
  1543. >which was pretty dumb, in retrospect
  1544. >she's gone now
  1545. >so what do you do?
  1546. >you hop onto the next train that seems to offer a purpose
  1547. >no, that's not it
  1548. >you're purposeless already
  1549. >let's say you do meet Darkstar face-to-face in Picacholt
  1550. >then what?
  1551. >you work for him?
  1552. >why?
  1553. >between your big bag of bits and the GP sitting folded in your pocket, you'll never have a reason to work again
  1554. >no
  1555. >you're heading out West because of your crazy theory
  1556. >the impossible theory you came up with in the Canterlot Library
  1557. >the insane theory that you haven't put into words til now:
  1558. >you think Darkstar is human
  1559. >you think Darkstar is a human called Anonymous the Man, who came to this world in the year 1003
  1560. >even though that's impossible
  1561. >even though that'd make him well over 120 years old now
  1562. >but it's like Jinny said
  1563. >there are implants that can prolong life
  1564. >but Jinny herself is a testament to the fact that they can't put off aging totally
  1565. >no
  1566. >he's got something better than implants
  1567. >the Peg-Horn
  1568. >with that, maybe he could stay young forever
  1569. /"If that were the case, Darkstar would still alive right now. The original Darkstar, I mean."
  1570. >sitting across from you is a shriveled old man with a long, grizzled beard
  1571. "Darkstar?"
  1572. /"Quiet now, you're the only one who can see me. Don't want folks to stare now."
  1573. >(how are you doing this?)
  1574. /"That's it, just think. I'll hear you."
  1575. >(so how are you doing this?)
  1576. /"Oh, that's easy. Thanks to you and Silver Lining, I've gotten a lot stronger."
  1577. >(how?)
  1578. /"That's all pretty technical, who cares?"
  1579. >(fine, so you are human after all?)
  1580. >Darkstar's eyes widen in surprise, and he looks down at himself
  1581. /"Is this what you think I look like?"
  1582. >(yeah, I guess)
  1583. >(maybe a little bit younger)
  1584. >Darkstar's beard gets a little bit shorter and darker
  1585. /"Heh. Well, I'm not one to spoil a good ending. I'll keep you guessing til you see me."
  1586. >(fuck you)
  1587. /"Hey. Listen. Since you're so interested in the other guy, the other Anon, I'll tell you a little story about him."
  1588. >Darkstar slides into the edge of his seat
  1589. /"There was a time when he had to take a train into the Crystal Empire. But he was in a bit of trouble, and the guards were looking for him. You know what he did?"
  1590. >(what'd he do?)
  1591. /"He wrapped himself up in fabric, put on a fake accent, and crawled onboard the train on his hands and knees. He was trying to pass for an old mare from Stalliongrad."
  1592. >(and then what?)
  1593. /"Oh, he got into the city, saved the day. I guess that's the interesting part, but the point I wanted to get across was the disguise."
  1594. >(why?)
  1595. /"There's a squadron of CAM private guards about two minutes away from barging into this car."
  1596. >well, shit
  1597. >(it's not like there's any fabric nearby I can make a disguise out of)
  1598. /"Don't need it. You got a GP in your pocket, don't you?"
  1599. >that's true
  1600. >(think anyone'll notice me putting it on?)
  1601. >(or fucking shapeshifting?)
  1602. >Darkstar waves his hoof dismissively
  1603. /"Nah. It's like you said, folks don't notice things. And if they do, they pretend not to."
  1604. >(okey dokey then)
  1605. >the shimmering band of rainbow slides onto your head
  1606.  
  1607. >amidst the flashing lights and bustling lowlives of Picacholt at night, a train pulls in
  1608. >a red pegasus stallion, with a field of stars and planets stamped on his butt, gets off here
  1609. >needless to say, this pony is, in fact, you
  1610. >which is just as well, since you can see squadrons of CAM guards searching the station for a big, bipedal space alien
  1611. >you're making your way through the streets
  1612. >magic powers the obnoxious neon logos which turn the black of the desert night into the pink-and-yellow swirls of modern Equestria
  1613. >ponies with their manes done up in spikes lunge at each other with knives, where once cowponies had faced each other with steady pistols
  1614. >cops are walking off with hookers down the very same streets where sherrifs once brawled with outlaws
  1615. >or at least, that's how you assume Picacholt used to be like
  1616. >you're naturally coloring your idea of Equestria's Wild West with impressions of Earthly western films
  1617. >you can only say for sure that Picacholt as it is now is kind of a shithole
  1618. >you've gotta get to the edge of town
  1619. >but it's a huge, sprawling city
  1620. >and from the edge of the city to the mountain range…
  1621. /"Yeah, it's gonna take forever."
  1622. >the image of Cosmos is walking alongside you
  1623. "I liked you better before I could see you in the Real World."
  1624. >these streets are much too crowded for anyone to notice you talking to yourself
  1625. /"Well when you get up into the mountain, I won't be able to do this anymore."
  1626. "That's a pretty strong incentive. I think I'll break into a run now."
  1627. /"Run? Run?! You're wearing a GP! Just teleport!"
  1628. "Oh shit, you're right."
  1629. /"Yeah. Let's get a move on now!"
  1630. >you blink, and Darkstar is gone
  1631. >all right, let's see how this shit works
  1632. >now if you just focus on the mountain
  1633. >relative to here, it's a few miles to the northeast
  1634. >so…
  1635. >it takes you a minute to realize that your surroundings have changed
  1636. >you're standing at the base of a dark mountain
  1637. >well, the entrance is probably some ways up
  1638. >let's aim for… that spot up there
  1639. >you're standing on a jutting rock near the top of the mountain
  1640. >if you had to guess, you'd say that there's probably an entrance up here somewhere
  1641. >and sure enough, the juttting rock is jutting out of a cave
  1642. >hopefully this cave actually leads to something
  1643. >down through the winding caverns you go
  1644. >there's a few landmarks in the tunnels of some note
  1645. >a sitting room
  1646. >a pile of bones
  1647. >a pit of lava
  1648. >all interesting stuff
  1649. >the bone-pile especially
  1650. >but none of this really seems to contain anything useful in it
  1651. >the sitting room, at least, seems to indicate that ponies once lived in this tunnel
  1652. >which makes it seem somewhat more likely to be the right tunnel in your mind
  1653. >but after hours of walking, you're starting to have doubts
  1654. >is this even the right mountain?
  1655. >and then you see it
  1656. >a metal wall with a thick, wooden door set in it
  1657. >you try the door in various ways for a few minutes
  1658. >naturally, it's locked
  1659. >it's also got some kind of protection against teleportation and lockpicking spells
  1660. >frustrated, you pull the GP off and regain your human form
  1661. >you try some good old fashioned brute force on the door
  1662. >but it's just too sturdy
  1663. >in your final discouragement, you lean back on the door and slide down to the floor
  1664. "Well fuck me, right?"
  1665. >a letter winks into existence and smacks you in the face
  1666. >"Just wait. She'll have to come out eventually. Good luck in there, once you're in I won't be able to communicate with you. - D.S."
  1667. >and so
  1668. >you wait
  1669.  
  1670. >eventually, you get tired of waiting
  1671. >so you slip your band on
  1672. >the Other World band, not the GP
  1673. >the little cloud is still present in your jacket
  1674. >whatever Silver Lining is doing, it's probably more entertaining than watching stalactites form
  1675. >besides, she doesn't have to know you're still creeping on her
  1676. >you touch the cloud
  1677. >the first thing you notice on the screen is the sentence "He's here."
  1678. >damnit, Darkstar
  1679. ~"Oh, hey jackass. I was wondering if you'd show up."
  1680. >she's currently engaged in picking a lock
  1681. ~"I thought about un-pairing my implant from your band, but…"
  1682. >the lock pops open
  1683. ~"I like having an excuse to talk to myself on these little adventures."
  1684. >she pushes the door open slowly, so as not to make a squeak
  1685. >then she quickly darts her head in and out of the room
  1686. >not having seen anything, she sticks her head back in, at a more relaxed pace
  1687. >finally, she steps through the door
  1688. >after glancing at all the corners, she seems satisfied that she's alone
  1689. ~"You're probably wondering what I'm doing."
  1690. ~"Well, I'm about to kill my mother."
  1691. ~"I don't know if you figured this out already, but that would be Ashy Pool."
  1692. >actually, hadn't figured that out
  1693. >you hadn't put a whole lot of thought into the topic of Liner's parentage
  1694. >but after that scene in the vent?
  1695. >it kind of makes sense
  1696. ~"I bet you're wondering why. Well…"
  1697. >she scans the room once again
  1698. ~"Fuck it. I might bite it on this mission. I might as well make sure someone I like knows my story, just in case."
  1699. ~"Fuck me, I sound full of myself. No, that's not it."
  1700. ~"I guess I just want to put it off for a bit. I mean, you know, killing my fucking mother."
  1701. >Liner finds herself a dark corner, lies down in it, and curls up
  1702. ~"I mean, uh, is she really my mother? I have all her DNA, but it's not like she gave birth to me. Or even really raised me."
  1703. ~"Oh, I guess that's weird. Let me explain."
  1704. ~"So, once upon a time there was a mare named Ashy Pool, who pulled off a hostile takeover on Canterlot Applied Magics."
  1705. ~"She got it into her head that she wanted CAM to be some kind of family empire. She wanted a kid to pass off the corporation to."
  1706. ~"Just one problem: stallions found her fucking repulsive. Or, that's what I like to think. She'd always spout off some bullshit about romance being a waste of time."
  1707. ~"Being wealthy and elite, Ashy Pool happened to be aware that Princess Twilight had gotten her hooves on a mundane science lab many years previously."
  1708. ~"That lab is where I was born. Or grown. Or created. I don't know what the right word is."
  1709. ~"Huh?"
  1710. >words are scrolling across her eye-display
  1711. >"Tell him where the lab is."
  1712. ~"Why the fuck does that matter? Uh, obviously I haven't been there since I was a foal, and I don't remember being there, but uh…"
  1713. ~"I think it was just outside of Picacholt. In some mountain."
  1714. >hang on
  1715. >what?
  1716. >Darkstar said "she" would come out eventually
  1717. >"she" is Princess Twilight?
  1718. >is she in there with Darkstar?
  1719. >how exactly is she involved in all this?
  1720. >if your theory about Darkstar is right, then she's been his friend for well over a hundred years
  1721. >at any rate, she's worked with Jinny in the past
  1722. >and apparently with Ashy Pool as well
  1723. ~"-don't know why she agreed to do it."
  1724. >oh
  1725. >you spaced out of Liner's story there
  1726. ~"Anyways, at some point, mother got the idea of testing out experimental AMs on me."
  1727. ~"And when implants were invented, well… now you know why I've got so many."
  1728. ~"She wasn't really involved in my life outside of experiments. I pretty much raised myself."
  1729. ~"I liked playing in the clouds, Anon. I liked playing with the weather. I got my cutie mark as a weather pony."
  1730. ~"Mother wasn't happy about that. I was supposed to be into business, like her."
  1731. ~"You know what she did about it?"
  1732. ~"She paid her engineers to invent AMs to control the weather. They hit the market when I was 16. Every weather pony in Equestria has been out of a job ever since."
  1733. ~"That was when I ran away from home. With all my augmentations, I didn't have a hard time finding a new vocation."
  1734. ~"And the other day, at the CAM warehouse? That was the first time I'd seen Ashy Pool since running away."
  1735. ~"I guess it just flipped a switch in me. Now all I can think about is wiping that- oh."
  1736. >Darkstar is sending you a message through Silver Lining's eye display
  1737. >"Anon, get up. She's coming."
  1738. ~"Well, I guess you're doing something exciting too. Bye Anon. I think after this I'll get some of my implants removed, I'll come get fried with you and Lentil."
  1739. >upon returning to the Real World, you stand up
  1740. >and face the door
  1741. >and the door swings open
  1742.  
  1743. >her pupils are the size of little pinpricks
  1744. >she steps up close to you
  1745. >looks up into your eyes
  1746. >her chin is almost parallel with your torso
  1747. >then she backs away again
  1748. >scans you from head to toe
  1749. >her breaths are lengthy, but shallow
  1750. >"Anon?"
  1751. "Uh, yes. Sort of."
  1752. >something about the rank of "princess" exhumes the tattered corpse of your military bearing from its lonely grave
  1753. "Good evening, ma'am. You must be Princess Twilight Sparkle. My name is Anonymous Poster."
  1754. >the princess's furrowing eyebrows invade the vast fields of white in her eyes
  1755. >"Anonymous… Poster…"
  1756. >her eyes close
  1757. >she sighs
  1758. >"No relation to an Anonymous Faggot, I suppose?"
  1759. "Would that be the same Anonymous as Anonymous the Man?"
  1760. >"Yes. They sometimes called him that, down in Picacholt. He was the only man in Equestria at the time."
  1761. "Then no. No relation, ma'am."
  1762. >her eyes open
  1763. >they don't meet yours
  1764. >"Of course. It was a… silly question. What brings you here, Mr. Poster?"
  1765. "Actually, I had a few questions for you. Some of them about Anonymous Faggot."
  1766. >finally, a small, formal smile graces the princess's face
  1767. >"I'm always happy to talk about my friends. That was my original title, you know, Princess of Friendship. Anon thought that was stupid though."
  1768. >her slender, purple hoof darts to her mouth
  1769. >"Whoops. I guess you're Anon too. Of course, I meant my Anon."
  1770. "R-right."
  1771. >"Why don't you come in? I'll get you some tea, and then we can talk."
  1772. "Sure."
  1773. >the princess leads you through a series of circular rooms, connected by more heavy, wooden doors
  1774. >the interior lighting here doesn't look like anything you've seen in Equestria before
  1775. >it's not candles, gas, lightning bugs, AMs, or any other kind of magic
  1776. >actually, it looks like old-fashioned lightbulbs
  1777. >with filaments and everything
  1778. >if this is the place Silver Lining was describing, then it's a "mundane science lab"
  1779. >mundane as opposed to arcane?
  1780. >finally, you're led into what seems to be a central hub, with multiple doors all around
  1781. >from there she leads you into a sparse dining area
  1782. >just a plain, old, wooden table and some plain, old, wooden chairs
  1783. >they look like they were bought from a Wild West general store
  1784. >they probably were
  1785. >already, a steaming kettle, two cups, two spoons, and a dish full of sugarcubes are floating into the room on the princess's shimmering miasma of magic
  1786. >"Have a seat. I'm sure you're tired after your climb."
  1787. >climb?
  1788. >oh, right
  1789. >this is a mountain
  1790. >and you're not supposed to be able to teleport
  1791. "Sure. Thank you."
  1792. >before you is set a cup, which is filled with hot, brown liquid
  1793. >"How many sugarcubes do you want?"
  1794. "Just one, please."
  1795. >one sugarcube makes ripples in your teacup
  1796. >then Princess Twilight sets about making her own cup of tea
  1797. >she takes two sugarcubes
  1798. >you can't bring yourself to touch your tea
  1799. >neither can she
  1800. >"Wow."
  1801.  
  1802. >the princess slides out of her seat
  1803. >walks right up to you
  1804. >gets uncomfortably close
  1805. >stares
  1806. >"You look just like him."
  1807. "Really?"
  1808. >"Well, I think so. Maybe not, I haven't exactly seen a lot of human faces."
  1809. "Do you, uh, know where he is right now?"
  1810. >she looks down and shuffles her hooves a bit
  1811. >"Well, gosh, it must be… forty years or so since he passed away. I hope he's in a better place."
  1812. "Passed away?"
  1813. >"Of course. I first met him some… hundred fifteen years ago."
  1814. >she sighs
  1815. >"Just about everyone I used to know is gone now. Celestia went and disappeared, Starlight passed away, my brother passed away, Discord disappeared when Fluttershy passed away… well, Fluttershy didn't exactly pass away, but…"
  1816. "Uh, what's that supposed to mean?"
  1817. >the immortal princess of Equestria gigglesnorts
  1818. >"Oh, it's just a little something I did for my five closest friends. I would have done it for everyone, but I could only find five pods, and I couldn't make sense of most of Phylum Strata's notes."
  1819. "Who's Phylum Strata?"
  1820. >"Oh, she was the previous owner of the mountain. She built the lab we're standing in now. She was a master of the mundane sciences; the things she could do without magic were almost more magical than magic itself. I'm an arcane scientist myself, so I've had a hard time recreating what she did. But that's not so important, she passed away in 1005."
  1821. "When… Anon came."
  1822. >"Mhm. Anon didn't like to talk about it. But while he was escaping, he found the Peg-Horn of Darkstar, and made all of this possible."
  1823. "What do you mean by 'all of this'?"
  1824. >"Applied magics. The Other World."
  1825. "What?"
  1826. >"I went public with all of this about a week ago. When Turing Test and I announced the existence of Darkstar."
  1827. >you grab your teacup and take a big gulp
  1828. >it burns
  1829. >but you needed a second to think
  1830. "The existence of Darkstar?"
  1831. >"Mhm. A magically-created mind that lives in the Other World."
  1832. "You didn't make this announcement in a big auditorium in the Other World, did you?"
  1833. >"Yes, actually. I did. Why do you ask?"
  1834. "Uh, I think I was there. But I left before the end."
  1835. >"Well, you should have stuck around."
  1836. "I was, uh, there for a specific purpose."
  1837. >to steal from Ashy Pool
  1838. "Could you explain Darkstar to me like you did at the conference? Is Darkstar… you know, Darkstar?"
  1839. >the princess giggles
  1840. >"If you're asking if Darkstar is Darkstar the Peg-Horned, the answer is no. But…"
  1841. >Princess Twilight's horn glows until something poofs into the room
  1842. >it's grey, thin, and conical
  1843. >roughly the same size and shape as a unicorn horn
  1844. >"… You could say that he is Darkstar's Peg-Horn."
  1845. >"In a manner of speaking, Darkstar was created about nine months ago by the joint work of myself, Professor Turing Test, and engineers from Canterlot Applied Magics. With generous donations from Linwood Jinny, of course."
  1846. >"In another manner of speaking, Darkstar was a latent personality who was always present in the Other World, even before we gave him a consciousness."
  1847. >"Anonymous, do you know what the difference between applied magics and artifacts is?"
  1848. "Well, one is an object that does something magical, and, uh, the other is… an object that does something magical."
  1849. >"Precisely. There is no difference. Artifacts are just ancient applied magics. Applied magics are just mass-produced artifacts. Specifically, they're mass-produced Peg-Horns."
  1850. "Wait, hang on. Most AMs are special-purpose. They can only do one thing."
  1851. >the princess shakes her head
  1852. >"No. This isn't something I admitted at the conference, but… all AMs are general-purpose. Or they would be, if certain magical restrictions weren't placed on them before commercial release."
  1853. >"Artifacts are incredibly difficult to produce. At least, original artifacts are incredibly difficult to produce. Duplicating them is quite a bit easier."
  1854. "So, when you invented AMs…"
  1855. >"Yes. I was making duplicates of the Peg-Horn. That's why the first applied magics were general-purpose horn bands."
  1856. >"At the time I didn't know it, but artifacts contain a remnant of their creator's personality. The Peg-Horn had a piece of Darkstar inside of it, and so did every AM that was based off of it. And thanks to the fact that all artifacts and AMs naturally interact with each other on the plane we know as the Other World…"
  1857. >the princess shudders
  1858. >"Darkstar has been everywhere for decades now."
  1859.  
  1860. "You sound like you don't like that."
  1861. >"Well, nine months ago, I thought that bringing Darkstar out of the ether would be a way to get a glimpse into the mind of an important sorcerer."
  1862. >"Somehow I seemed to forget that he was also a notorious outlaw."
  1863. >"I did find a way to potentially weaken him, over time. Though really, I'd been working on this project for nearly a hundred years."
  1864. >"Specifically, I finally managed to create a horn band on my own. As in, with my own magic, and my own personality."
  1865. >"I sent it out to CAM and requested that they base all of their future applied magics off of it, but..."
  1866. >"As far as I'm aware they never did."
  1867. >"Even worse, I've heard it's been stolen."
  1868. "Uh, would this band have been general-purpose? Maybe look something like a shimmery rainbow?"
  1869. >"Actually, yes. It would."
  1870. "I, uh, brought it with me."
  1871. >you procure the GP from your pocket
  1872. >Princess Twilight's eyes sparkle at the sight
  1873. >she snatches it up in her magic
  1874. >"Why, thank you! You have no idea how much effort you've saved me."
  1875. >she looks at the band absent-mindedly for a moment
  1876. >the notion that you were involved in stealing the band doesn't seem to occur to her
  1877. >"You want to see what I've been working on?"
  1878. "Sure."
  1879. >"Wait here. I'll be right back."
  1880. >Princess Twilight gets up
  1881. >thinks for a moment
  1882. >then teleports a stack of papers into the room
  1883. >she lays them out on the table
  1884. >"Here, since you were interested in Anon. You can look at these while I get things ready."
  1885. >and she's out of the room
  1886. >the "papers" on the table are in fact old photographs
  1887. >in all of them is a man
  1888. >the pictures were clearly taken over many years, as he and the others in the photos grow older the farther down the stack you look
  1889. >there are several ponies who feature prominently in many of the photos alongside the man
  1890. >a blue pegasus
  1891. >a yellow pegasus
  1892. >a white unicorn
  1893. >a pink earth pony
  1894. >an orange earth pony
  1895. >these five are usually pictured together, along with Princess Twilight
  1896. >there are some ponies who don't seem to appear with the above six very often, but are still within multiple photos
  1897. >there's a young, red earth pony mare with a jet-black mane
  1898. >she features with a brown earth pony mare a number of times
  1899. >a pair of creme colored mares with red manes show up in a scattering of the photos
  1900. >there's an old donkey in many of the photos
  1901. >this, you assume, is Dismule
  1902. >you reach a photo that makes you pause
  1903. >Anonymous Faggot can be seen with Dismule beside him
  1904. >and a very young donkey bouncing on his knee
  1905. >it's a baby picture of Linwood Jinny
  1906. >of course, there's the man himself
  1907. >Anonymous Faggot
  1908. >does he look something like you?
  1909. >maybe
  1910. >there's something odd about the guy
  1911. >particularly in the photos with Princess Twilight
  1912. >it's like he doesn't quite want to look at her
  1913. >"Anon."
  1914. >you set the photos down
  1915. "Yes?"
  1916. >"It's ready. Do you still want to see it?"
  1917.  
  1918. >the room you're led to has five colorful machines sitting in its center
  1919. >each one the color of the ancient mare lying suspended within
  1920. >"This... is what I did for my five closest friends!"
  1921. >the princess giggles
  1922. >"I always figured I could figure out some way to have them back eventually."
  1923. >"We found out the hard way that anti-aging spells only work for so long, and my own alicorn magic still isn't mature enough to actually turn other ponies into alicorns."
  1924. >"But, there was a prophecy that said I wouldn't outlive my friends, and, well.. you can't argue with fate, you know?"
  1925. "Uh... huh."
  1926. >she spends a few seconds laughing and snorting
  1927. >this pony seems completely unhinged
  1928. >she's almost nothing at all like the public figure you've come to recognize these past few months
  1929. >"I'm not sure what Phylum Strata was going to use these pods for, or why she didn't use one herself if she was so scared of getting old, but they were one of her easier inventions for me to understand."
  1930. >she's grinning and rapidly stomping her hooves now
  1931. >"I thought I was gonna have to wait for centuries before I could have my friends back, to grow powerful enough to make them all immortal alicorns."
  1932. >"But, when Darkstar was discovered, I realized that artifacts could carry personality within the Other World. And when I made my first horn band, the one that wasn't a duplicate, I realized that I could make my own artifacts!"
  1933. >"I set about doing the necessary magics with the pods, and it worked... sort of."
  1934. >"When we were all together, our friendship was the most powerful source of magic in the world."
  1935. >"And it seems like it still is, but... only in a... what's the word... collective? A collective sort of sense?"
  1936. >"I guess collective is the best way to put it. Instead of five separate personalities, there's one collective one."
  1937. >"She's very intelligent, and very powerful, but... she's incomplete."
  1938. >"She says I need to join with her in order to complete her."
  1939. >"And that's what scares me. I mean, I'd like to be with my friends again, and I'd like to complete my work, but..."
  1940. >"I guess I'm kind of scared to lose my individuality, you know?"
  1941. >you've honestly been failing to take most of this in
  1942. >but she's staring expectantly at you, as though you're supposed to have a reply
  1943. "Uh, yeah, totally. I hate it when that happens."
  1944. >"Mm. But I understand that Darkstar has been growing more powerful. I'm guessing you have something to do with that, since you seem to the one who stole my horn band from Ashy Pool."
  1945. "Oh, you figured that out, huh?"
  1946. >"Of course. Many of the thefts that have happened recently could have only been possible with a human working from the Other World. Taking advantage of your invisibility there."
  1947. >"I suppose you don't know what exactly it is you were stealing."
  1948. "Uh, scrolls, I guess? And a piece of the Crystal Heart. And a horn band."
  1949. >"Did you ever read what was on those scrolls?"
  1950. "No?"
  1951. >"Bits of information I took away from Darkstar when I realized his intentions were ill. Information about himself. I took four bits of information, put them into scrolls, and gave one to each of Darkstar's creators. One for me, one for Turing Test, one for Ashy Pool, and one for Linwood Jinny."
  1952. >"Ashy Pool's was stolen out of her coat. After that, I told the others to store their information deeper within their minds, but Turing Test's scroll was stolen from even there."
  1953. "Is that right?"
  1954. >"I know that it must have been you. The theft of Ashy Pool's scroll could have only been pulled off by you. But how did you get Turing's...?"
  1955. >she gasps
  1956. >"With instructions from Darkstar himself! He was already powerful enough to make out your outline in the Other World!"
  1957. "Yeah. Yeah, that's how it went, I admit it."
  1958. >"Then it's just mine and Jinny's scrolls left."
  1959. "Jinny probably already gave hers up. She was the one paying me to steal stuff for him."
  1960. >"Oh, dear... Yes, she always saw Darkstar's discovery as a way to live forever. And if his plan is completed, he might just be powerful enough to make that happen."
  1961. "His plan?"
  1962. >"Of course! You didn't think he was just doing things for no reason, did you?"
  1963. "I guess I didn't think about it."
  1964. >"If Darkstar completes himself, he'll be able to become the Other World itself. There are many artifacts which interact with the Other World and have nothing to do with him. They have other latent personalities dormant within them, such as Starswirl the Bearded's. Most of them carry out a vital role in the balance of Equestria."
  1965. >"But if Darkstar takes my scroll, he'll be able to replace every latent personality in every artifact with his own. All the applied magic in the world will be under his direct control."
  1966. >"He'll be able to unlock all the special purpose AMs made from the Peg-Horn as well, turning them essentially into millions of general purpose horn bands, and granting him unlimited power in the Real World as well as the Other."
  1967. "Oh, is that all?"
  1968. >"He'll be able to subvert the collective personality of my friends as well. If that happens, they'll all die for real. And given the prophecy, I probably will too."
  1969. "Well, uh, it's a good thing he's not gonna get that last scroll out of you, right?"
  1970. >the princess shakes her head
  1971. >"The only way to be sure of that is to destroy him."
  1972. >"And I could do that, but... I'm scared to."
  1973. "You have to join the collective personality you created?"
  1974. >"Yes. The friendship between me and my friends is the most powerful source of magic Equestria has ever known. If I were to complete it, all those things a completed Darkstar could do, I'd be able to do."
  1975. "Is that any better?"
  1976. >"I'm not an ancient outlaw."
  1977. "Yeah."
  1978. >"Anyway, since this is largely your fault, I have a favor to ask you."
  1979. >she holds out the GP in her hoof
  1980. >"Put this on, and go into the Other World with it. Talk to her for a little bit, and then tell me if you think I should go through with it."
  1981. "That's all you want? A second opinion?"
  1982. >the immortal princess of an alien world is smiling sheepishly at you
  1983. >"Yeah."
  1984.  
  1985. >is the Other World prettier when accessed through a GP?
  1986. >or is it just you?
  1987. >you don't have much time to appreciate the Other World proper
  1988. >you're pulled off into a room
  1989. >you didn't will it, but you can't honestly call it against your will
  1990. >the room shining white on all sides, like polished ivory
  1991. >the mare standing within is white as well, but so bright as to stand out clearly against the walls
  1992. >she's a massive princess pony, with both a horn and wings, standing at about twice your height
  1993. >her mane is the same shimmering rainbow as the GP band, and floats upon an unfelt wind
  1994. >she's smiling at you
  1995. >"Welcome, Anonymous."
  1996. "Uh, hey."
  1997. >"You had questions for me, I believe?"
  1998. "Yeah, yeah, I thought I did. Can't quite remember any of them right now."
  1999. >she chuckles softly
  2000. >"Allow me to choose one of the questions that's slipped your mind. Would you like to know how you came to Equestria?"
  2001. "How could you possibly know that?"
  2002. >"Based on the information available to me through the instruments in Darkstar's Mountain, the knowledge available to me from the learning of Twilight Sparkle, the vast sums of literature stored in the Other World, and impressions taken directly from your own mind, I can calculate to a 95% probability that your arrival here was not, strictly speaking, an accident."
  2003. "How can you do that?"
  2004. >"I am pure mind, and the source from which I draw my existence is the friendship which makes up the most powerful source of magic in the world. Therefore, I am the most powerful mind in the world. Would you like to know now?"
  2005. "Well, sure."
  2006. >"Your government was testing the effects of a planoforming engine accidentally activating. They placed one onboard your fighter, set it to activate at a fixed time, and never told you."
  2007. >you slap your forehead
  2008. "Well gee, why does that not surprise me?"
  2009. >"Because it is a conclusion based on your own impressions and beliefs regarding your government."
  2010. >you're sure you'll hate yourself for not asking more questions about this later
  2011. >but this is too weird
  2012. >you need to change the subject
  2013. "Look, I came here for a reason."
  2014. >"And I have given you one. Even now, I am dying."
  2015. "Hang on. What?"
  2016. >"You were sent by Twilight Sparkle to find a reason why should join with me, correct?"
  2017. "Sure."
  2018. >"She sent you here via a horn band derived from her own mind, correct?"
  2019. "That's how she described the GP, yeah."
  2020. >"If you had come to me through a horn band derived from the Peg-Horn, then Darkstar and I would have faced each other as two naked minds. Darkstar would have obtained the information from Twilight's scroll through me, and completed himself."
  2021. "All right, so it makes sense that she sent me through the GP."
  2022. >"But she forgot to ask you if you have any implants."
  2023. "Yeah, I have the drug… implant…"
  2024. >"Do you understand now? You have brought Darkstar to me through your implant, and in so doing you have doomed this world."
  2025. "But you brought me here! Knowing all of that shit, why would you do that?"
  2026. >"Twilight needed an incentive."
  2027. "But that's fucked up! She's scared for a good reason! She's scared to lose her individuality!"
  2028. >"She won't. Rather, I will lose my individuality. It must be hard for you to comprehend the sheer power of Twilight's love for her friends, but I assure you that when it is completed, it will be powerful enough to maintain six separate personalities. Twilight's friends will be restored to her."
  2029. >"In other words, I would cease to be a collective personality, and become a communal personality. A society in my own right There would be no 'me' to speak of, only an 'us'."
  2030. "And how do you know she'll believe that? That's a hell of a claim to entrust the fate of a world to!"
  2031. >"Whether she believes it or not is irrelevant. I know Twilight Sparkle."
  2032. >she smiles
  2033. >"And I know that she won't be able to resist the chance to save the world with her friends, one last time."
  2034.  
  2035. >the band comes off
  2036. >the Real World comes flooding back
  2037. >Princess Twilight is sweating
  2038. >her breathing is labored
  2039. >"Anon. You don't have any implants, do you?"
  2040. "Yeah. An anti-drug one. Look, she told me about it. She knew I had it before she contacted me."
  2041. >"And Darkstar sent you here with it."
  2042. "Yeah."
  2043. >"Then Darkstar's and Falada's plans both came to this moment."
  2044. "Falada?"
  2045. >"That's what I call her. I took the name from one of your Earthly fairy tales."
  2046. "I'm not familiar with it."
  2047. >"Really?"
  2048. >the princess looks past you and smiles into the ether
  2049. >"Anon always liked to tell me Earth-stories about horses."
  2050. "I'm afraid all I can think of is Gulliver's Travels."
  2051. >"Oh, Anon told me about that one."
  2052. >decades of unshed tears threaten to spill over the levy of the princess's self-control
  2053. >"My goodness. To compare Equestrian ponies to the talking horses from that story… it's even worse now than it was then."
  2054. >she's blinking hard now
  2055. >"So much worse. You can't even make the comparison anymore."
  2056. >the flooding contained for now, her eyes lock with yours
  2057. >"Do you think it's my fault? I mean, Princess Celestia ruled over a near-utopia for well over a thousand years. Then I come along and in barely over a hundred everything is ruined."
  2058. "I don't know."
  2059. >"I wonder if Celestia is watching all this from somewhere. Waiting for me to make everything right. Maybe she's losing her patience. Maybe she'll come back and make everything all better."
  2060. >her eyebrows lock themselves up and outboard over her eyes
  2061. >"Or maybe she doesn't care. Maybe she doesn't care at all."
  2062. "Uh, listen, princess. I don't know about all that. But you're here now. And you can stop at least one major problem right now."
  2063. >"I can. But at what cost?"
  2064. >"Falada isn't the sum of my friends, Anon. Not exactly. Rather, she's the sum of my friendship. In other words, she's magic.And magic is as magic does."
  2065. >"If I complete her, she'll be all-powerful. Moreover, she'll have a Real World body to operate in. Namely, mine. I might lose my own personality. And for what? There's no guarantee that she has anyone's best interests in mind."
  2066. "Uh, she said something to the effect of you'd be able to keep your personality, and all of your friends would get theirs back as well."
  2067. >"I'm sure she did say that. And it could happen that way. The problem is, she would have to choose it for herself. She'd have to choose, essentially, to die. Because once my friends' personalities are restored, Falada's will cease to exist. There's just no guarantee that she'd do that."
  2068. >Twilight groans
  2069. >"What else did she say?"
  2070. "That you wouldn't be able to resist saving the world with your friends again."
  2071. >she stomps her hoof once
  2072. >the growls
  2073. >then sighs
  2074. >"She's probably right about that. Maybe I'm being silly. How could anything powered by friendship be a potential danger?"
  2075. >"Maybe I'm just being scared and selfish for no good reason."
  2076. >her foreleg gives out
  2077. >she collapses onto the floor
  2078. >"It's true… Darkstar is threatening all the magic in the world right now. It's also true that he'll kill Falada. And if Falada dies, so do all of my friends… and so do I."
  2079. >the princess rises back up to her hooves
  2080. >"Fine. I'll do it. But I want to put it off for a bit."
  2081. "Why?"
  2082. >"Because I'm scared!"
  2083. "All right."
  2084. >"Shush! Just let me think. This might be my last ever chance to think for myself."
  2085. >she doesn't seem to get very far in her thoughts before she sighs
  2086. >"I'm doing it again, aren't I?"
  2087. "Doing what?"
  2088. >"Not treating Anon right. I mean, here you are offering support to someone you just met less than an hour ago, for a cause that really has nothing to do with you."
  2089. "What do you mean it has nothing to do with me? Darkstar is threatening this world, and I live in this world now."
  2090. >she shakes her head
  2091. >"No. As a creature with no inherent magic whatsoever, you'll be completely unaffected by Darkstar's takeover of magic. And if he manages to take over Equestria in the Real World, you'll probably be treated well for helping him."
  2092. "All right, I didn't think about it like that. Still though, just look at yourself. You can barely stand up."
  2093. >"My goodness. You're really just like him."
  2094. >Twilight walks up very close to you
  2095. >"I think there's only one thing I need to do."
  2096. "What?"
  2097. >and she looks you in the eye
  2098. >"Anon. Did you ever forgive me?"
  2099. "Forgive you? For… what…?"
  2100. >her eyes are dark as midnight, and deep as the sky
  2101. "You're… not talking to me, are you?"
  2102. >Twilight rears up on her hindlegs
  2103. >and leans into your torso, still staring you in the eye
  2104. >"Anon. Did you ever forgive me?"
  2105. >she's obviously weak, and growing weaker every second
  2106. >her whole body is shuddering with the strain of standing upright
  2107. >her breath is growing shaky and erratic
  2108. >and her mind, fixated for so long on distant yesterdays, has finally confused past and present
  2109. >she's not seeing you
  2110. >not speaking to you
  2111. >not holding you
  2112. "Yeah. Yeah, of course I forgave you. I forgave you ages ago… Twilight."
  2113. >she gets down from you, and stands on all four shaky hooves
  2114. >"I'm ready."
  2115.  
  2116. >and that's the story of how you came to an alien world
  2117. >and how you almost destroyed it
  2118. >and how nobody noticed
  2119.  
  2120. Epilogue: Her Closest Friends
  2121.  
  2122. =On the Train back to Ponyville
  2123.  
  2124. >the interior of the train is dark, except for the desert morning sunlight streaming in through the windows
  2125. >the AM lights aren't working anymore
  2126. >according to the newspaper you grabbed from the Picacholt train station, no AMs anywhere are working
  2127. >you stick your hand in your pocket
  2128. >the GP you're fingering right now is probably the only working AM anywhere on this planet
  2129. >fortunately, the trains themselves still run on good old-fashioned, mundane coal
  2130.  
  2131. =In Ponyville
  2132.  
  2133. >the streets seem dark, even in midday
  2134. >no more brightly-colored AM logos to flash and dazzle potential customers inside the massive, commercial towers
  2135. >from an alleyway, a small herd of tough-looking stallions are glaring at you
  2136. >what the hell is their problem?
  2137. >wait a sec
  2138. >these guys look kind of familiar
  2139. >and then it hits you
  2140. >these are the CAM guards who broke into your apartment
  2141. >hard to recognize them without their armor on
  2142. >actually, this is the first time they've ever actually seen you, isn't it?
  2143. >one of them sees you looking at them
  2144. >he tries to pretend to be engrossed in the newspaper in his hoof
  2145. >but after a second or two, his glare turns into a scowl
  2146. >he throws the paper down and stalks off
  2147. >and all his buddies follow
  2148.  
  2149. =In the Newspaper
  2150.  
  2151. >"TEARFUL REUNION"
  2152. >"Amidst the destruction of the Canterlot Applied Magics Tower in Canterlot, CEO Ashy Pool was found alive, but not alone."
  2153. >"The sixty-four year old businessmare was found in the rubble, embracing and crying with her long-estranged daughter, Silver Lining."
  2154. >"This is the first public sighting of the twenty-one year old AMs heiress since she reportedly ran away from home five years ago."
  2155. >"Experts are unsure why the tower collapsed, but some theorize that it may be the cause of the worldwide failure in applied magics."
  2156. >"Princess Twilight has pledged to work with Canterlot Applied Magics and the Ponyville University for Applied Magics to bring AMs back to the market as soon as possible."
  2157.  
  2158. =In the Apartment Building
  2159.  
  2160. "I'm moving out."
  2161. >the clerk frowns up at you over her glasses
  2162. >"We'll be terribly sorry to see you go, Mr. Poster. You owe us three weeks' notice."
  2163. >you toss her a gold bit
  2164. "Will that cover it?"
  2165. >she picks up the bit and stares at it wide-eyed
  2166. >"Uh, y-you also owe us repayment for the damaged door in your apartment."
  2167. >you toss her two gold bits
  2168.  
  2169. ==In Nightville
  2170.  
  2171. >the street has grown quiet
  2172. >all the light in the tunnel is coming from candles and lamps and makeshift torches
  2173. >the illicit AMs vendors have nothing to sell anymore
  2174. >the drug dealers are still there though
  2175. >your anti-drug implant, like most AMs, has ceased to function
  2176. >all the same, you don't really feel like getting high right now
  2177. /"Well if it isn't my good friend, Mr. Poster!"
  2178. >you turn around and are stunned to see the form of Cosmos bounding toward you
  2179. >you shriek and fall flat on your ass
  2180. /"Hey, what's the problem now, Mr. Poster. It's just your good friend Cosmos!"
  2181. "Oh, shit."
  2182. >you climb back up to your feet
  2183. "I thought you were… someone else. What do you want, Cosmos?"
  2184. /"I want you to come to my shop! I've got the deal of the century, Mr. Poster, and I want you to be the first to know."
  2185. "Cosmos, we both know that your AMs don't work anymore."
  2186. /"Not true, not true! Princess Twilight came to me in a dream, told me that all of my AMs would work again. And when I woke up, they did! What do you think about that, eh?"
  2187. "I think…"
  2188. >your hand slips into your pocket, and wraps the GP around itself
  2189. "This."
  2190. >at the snap of your fingers, a small bolt of lightning zaps Cosmos' ass
  2191. /"Yee-yikes! I see you've found yourself a new supplier!"
  2192.  
  2193. =In the Hole
  2194.  
  2195. >you have to leave the board-door open to let the light in
  2196. >all the same, you almost step on Lentil
  2197. >she's sprawled out on the floor among open bottles of pills
  2198. >twitching and murmuring and drooling
  2199. >you step over her and make your way to your bag of bits
  2200. >with the bag slung over your shoulder, you prepare to leave the hole
  2201. >but you make out something that Lentil is murmuring
  2202. <"A… non…"
  2203. >you toss her a gold bit
  2204. >that'll cover her three weeks' notice
  2205. >or a pound of rainbow
  2206. >her choice
  2207.  
  2208. =In the Desert
  2209.  
  2210. >it's been about a week since you stood by and watched someone else save the world
  2211. >you finally went and got yourself that little house in the country
  2212. >an old, crumbling cottage on the near side of Darkstar's Mountain
  2213. >you have no neighbors
  2214. >except the metal monsters said to prowl about the ghost town of Marenberg
  2215. >which is about a twenty minute walk from your dream-home
  2216. >apparently living off the fat of the land is a lot harder than you thought
  2217. >so you're cheating with the GP to get food
  2218. >at least until the apple trees you had carted out here start bearing fruit
  2219. >you've thought about using the GP to get home
  2220. >but you've done your homework on teleportation
  2221. >apparently it only works if you have an idea of where point B is relative to point A
  2222. >plus, the longest recorded teleportation was only a few miles
  2223. >besides, you've still got a few years left on your spacefleet commission
  2224. >if you came back now, they'd definitely make you serve it
  2225. >and fuck that
  2226.  
  2227. =In the Other World
  2228.  
  2229. >the Other World is just starting to become populated with po⁣nies again
  2230. >not a lot
  2231. >even areas that had been busy highways are still only speckled with minds
  2232. >without contracts to steal shit, there's nothing for you to do here anymore
  2233. >you're about to band out when something catches your eye
  2234. >a pony is staring straight at you
  2235. >and waving
  2236. >and calling your name
  2237. >she's a purple princess po⁣ny
  2238. >and standing close behind her are her five closest friends in the whole world

Horse Confessions

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