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The Rapening: Day 3

By I_Luv_P0nes
Created: 2021-02-08 05:59:08
Expiry: Never

  1. >Day 3 Of The Rapening
  2. >You wake up feeling well rested
  3. >A welcome change
  4. >You get the chance to finally clean yourself up
  5. >One amazing shower later
  6. >You find yourself lying on your couch
  7. >What a week so far
  8. >It's not even over yet
  9. >Hell, it just started
  10. >A knock at your door stops your thoughts
  11. >Oh shit yeah, ponies.
  12. >You open the door
  13. >Huh
  14. >"What's up bro?" A white unicorn with purple glasses and blue mane asks
  15. "Um... not much? Who are you?"
  16. >You look around behind her to see one pink horse sitting on a table
  17. >And a line of ponies that looks almost endless from where you're standing
  18. >What the fuck is going on?
  19. >"It's just me, your friendly neighborhood DJ! Name's Vinyl Scratch"
  20. "Anon. What are you doing here? What's that huge line?"
  21. >"That thing? Ah don't sweat it big guy, Pinkie just bein' pinkie yknow?"
  22. "I can't say that I do"
  23. >Vinyl snickers a little
  24. >"I think we're gonna get along just fine"
  25. "Uh yeah sure whatever. Hold on here a sec"
  26. >"Whatever you say broski" she says
  27. >You walk over to the table Pinkie's sitting behind
  28. "What the fuck is this?"
  29. >Pinkie looks at you and smiles
  30. >"Auditions!" Pinkie says with a smile on her face
  31. "For...?"
  32. >"My viewing pleasure!" She smiles even more
  33. "Huh?"
  34. >"Oh come on Anon! You know! A good time in the bedroom! All three of us!" She laughs
  35. >You look at her little table setup
  36. >You walk to the front and see a piece of paper taped onto the front
  37. >"1 Human Stallion Free To Use ;) (Yes in that way, you perv)" in huge text
  38. >"Many mares will enter, only two will remain! (One of them is me of course!)" In small text, and a small pink horse drawing next to it
  39. >You look at the sign
  40. >Then up at all of the horses in line
  41. "W-what the fuck..."
  42.  
  43. >"Whaddya think? Pretty cool huh?!" Pinkie asks
  44. "No! Not at ALL! I already gotta reject 6 mares this week, now it's like 6 million instead! You're fucking crazy if you think I'm going to have a threesome with you and another horse!"
  45. >"Ha! Silly Anon! I don't want a threesome! I just wanna watch..." she puts on a smug smile
  46. "That's... that's even worse! GOD! What the fuck!? Can't you just tell them to go home?
  47. >"Nnnnope!" She smiles
  48. "Why not?!"
  49. >"They're already here! Plus, it's my day with you so I get to do whaaateeever I want!"
  50. "Fucking... jesus. Fine. Whatever"
  51. >You rush off back to your house
  52. >"Have funnn!!!" You hear pinkie shout in the distance
  53. >You grumble a few curses before returning to that white unicorn
  54. >"How ya holdin up, stud?" She asks
  55. "Don't call me that."
  56. >"Hey man chillax, I'm just here because it's free" Vinyl laughs
  57. "Then you can leave. Pinkie wants me to fuck one of you"
  58. >You motion to the line of now eager looking ponies
  59. >Gross
  60. >"W-well haha um... heh well, ahem... I bet I can make it worth your time" She winks at you through her glasses
  61. >"Look here hot stuff" Vinyl poofs up some bag with some powder in it
  62. >"Ya ever try ketamine?" She shakes the baggy holding the powder
  63. "No. And where I'm from, druggies usually don't flaunt theirĀ  in people's faces"
  64. >"Suit yourself. I just wanted ta know if you'd do me sober or not" she smirks
  65. "I wouldn't do you ever. Nothing personal."
  66. >"Ouch. Hint taken, but if ya ever feel an itch, I'm your gal" Vinyl smiles
  67. >"Oh and, I'm pretty sure a lotta the girls in line won't be as nice as I am, just remember that" she laughs and begins trotting away
  68. >That almost sounds like a threat
  69.  
  70. >The next pony walks up
  71. >This one with a red violet looking coat
  72. >She looks tired
  73. >She finally stops in front of you and shifts her eyes before introducing herself
  74. >"Hii. Umm, I'm Cherilee." The horse says
  75. "Anon."
  76. >"Yes. Nice to meet you." Her tired face smiles at you nervously
  77. "So. What do YOU do?"
  78. >"Well, I'm a school teacher. I teach all the little fillies and colts in this town" she smiles again
  79. "That's nice. I guess"
  80. >"Yes..."
  81. >Silence
  82. >Cherilee begins twirling her mane around with her hoof
  83. >You cough
  84. >...
  85. "So uh... you know what this is for I'm assuming?"
  86. >"Mhm" she nods her head, a little anxious
  87. "Cool. Well I'm not interested in fucking horses so-"
  88. >"Oh my-" Cherilee's face going from nervous to flushed and worried
  89. >You tug at your collar
  90. "Well yeah. Pinkie Pie wants me to sex one of you. Thought you knew."
  91. >"W-well maybe later on... I-I don't know you that well! Maybe we could go on a few dates and-"
  92. >You shift your eyes
  93. "Nah I'm good. I don't really want to date horses, let alone bang them"
  94. >"O-Oh..." Her shocked face is replaced by a more somber one
  95. "Yeah. Sorry about that. No hard feelings though, right?"
  96. >"No. None at all" she says quietly
  97. "Uh. Yeaaah. See you around... Cherilee."
  98. >"Uhuh" She says as she turns around
  99. >She trots away with her head low
  100. >God damnit Pinkie
  101. >Some mares don't deserve this shit happening to them
  102. >In one way or another, Pinkie's gonna pay for this
  103.  
  104. Many Mares Later
  105. >None were particularly interesting
  106. >One called Roseluck talked your ear off about flowers and botany
  107. >So far, all you know is that horses with plants on their butts have a 50 percent chance of being autistically enthralled with that plant
  108. >And a 50 percent chance that they're some sort of prissy beautician pony
  109. >If you didn't know any better, you'd think the were MEANT to be vague and distant
  110. >Putting that aside, you still see a sea of mares in line to talk to you
  111. >After the first few mares, you were able to see the positives of this situation
  112. >A rare occurence
  113. >You're positive there's at least one pony that'll help you ditch this place after the week's over
  114. >Hell, even one that'd help you dip right now
  115. >You'd run on your own, but Applejack and Fluttershy had some way of chasing you down or keeping you from just flat out escaping
  116. >And you already know Pinkie's crazy as fuck, so you're not sure if you're ready to find out what Pinkie would do if you tried anything
  117. >Plus, that pony would have to be not attracted to you
  118. >One in a billion it seems like
  119. >Either way, it's a little fun finally talking to other... people?
  120. >You get to pretty much drag Pinkie's name everytime you turn them down
  121. >Even better, you get to vent to a thousand ponies you'll probably never talk to again
  122. >Sometimes you even make things up to mess with a few particularly talkative mares
  123. >This one pony called Carrot Top went on and on about carrots, so you told her your family has a history of being deathly allergic to carrots
  124. >You even made up a story about how carrots almost killed your family
  125. >Sure, it wasn't particularly nice, but it sure is a hell of a lot better than letting them wait all day just to get turned down for existing
  126. >Especially since this week doesnt involve them
  127. >At least, it shouldn't.
  128.  
  129. >Another thing to add to the "List of things you'll verbally obliterate Pinkie Pie with"
  130. >Later. Right now you just have to survive
  131. >You take a swig from your favorite mug
  132. >However, you notice an oddly familiar pony trotting up to your doorway
  133. >Oh fuck
  134. >This has to be against the rules, right?
  135. "What are YOU doing here? You had your chance you stu-"
  136. >"Miss me, sugarcube?" Applejack says as she sharpens her eyes and brushes the brim of her hat
  137. "No. Not really."
  138. >"Well ah missed you. Aheh hehe eeyup" She blushes
  139. "Yeah, but you already had your chance. Also, shouldnt you be like... farming... or something?"
  140. >"Well ya see, almost passin out doin work let me take the day off. Well, that and all the extra work ah did" she smiles
  141. "Oh. Uh, wait here a sec"
  142. >"Alright. Just dont leave me waitin... again..." she says that last part with a bit of disdain in her voice
  143. >Ignoring her, you make your way back to Pinkie's table
  144. "We got a problem"
  145. >"Pfft! I'll say! All these mares and not a single one has won you over!" Pinkie (probably) jokes
  146. "Not that. Look over there"
  147. >You point at Applejack
  148. >"Ooh Applejack! You like strong gals huh?" Pinkie asks
  149. "Nononono. She shouldn't be here!"
  150. >"Why not? Dont you like her?"
  151. "Fuck. No. SHE already had her day with me, so she shouldnt be able to bother me AT ALL the rest of this week!"
  152. >"Huh? When did anyone say that?" Pinkie snickers
  153. "It's heavily implied."
  154. >"But technically-" Pinkie starts
  155. "Technically fucking nothing! Make a rule that NONE of the other 5 woman horses from hell can talk to me"
  156. >Pinkie sighs, "Fiiine. Just let me know when you find that special somepony!"
  157. "I wont find one, but I will if I do, but I wont, because there is no special somepony for me"
  158. >"Well we won't know until we're done, wont we?" She says as she scribbles small drawings of each of her friends on her poster
  159. >She draws huge red X marks over their likenesses and writes in huge text: NO ELEMENTS ALLOWED! (Except Me!)
  160.  
  161. "Cool. Now help me get Applejack out of here"
  162. >"Nnnope" Pinkie laughs
  163. "What the fuck? Why not?"
  164. >"Well who am I to tempt fate? Especially with looooove?" Pinkie dramatically asks
  165. "What exactly do you think you're doing here in the first place?"
  166. >"Helping 2 lucky mares and hopefully YOU feel gooood~" Pinkie answers, emphasizing her intent
  167. "Fuck you. You know that. Fuck. You."
  168. >"Nuh uh! Its gotta be someone else! I'm flattered though" She winks at you
  169. >You clench a fist
  170. >If it were not for the massive amounts of ponies here, you'd have at least attempted to assault pinkie pie
  171. >At least once.
  172. >She's got it coming.
  173. >You exhale and walk back towards your house
  174. >"Heya sugarcube!" Applejack greets once more
  175. >You walk up to Applejack secretively
  176. "Hey uh... sorry about all this. You gotta go"
  177. >"Huh?" The orange mare is dumbfounded
  178. "Turns out um... no other... uh, elements allowed"
  179. >"What in- Who made that rule?!" Applejack stomps one of her hooves on the ground
  180. "Turns out it was always there. Yeah, Pinkie's rules. So uh. Yeah. Cya"
  181. >"B-But I waited-" Applejack starts
  182. "I'm sorry, but those are the rules"
  183. >"Ah horseapples! Yer lucky I haven't kicked yer head clean off those shoulders of yours" she spits
  184. "I'm sorry Applejack, her rules, not mine"
  185. >"Hmm..." she looks you over
  186. >You're putting on the best poker face you've got
  187. >Applejack begins moving closer to you
  188. >Very close
  189. >Too clo-
  190. >Before you can even think, Applejack pulls your head down
  191. >And licks your cheek
  192. "Hey what the fuck?!"
  193. >Applejack smacks her lips a few times
  194. >"You're tellin the truth, aint ya?" She stoically says
  195. "Uh yeah? Please leave, that was... not a good experience"
  196. >"Fine. I'll leave ya to it. Just let Pinkie know i'm gonna have a talk with her after this..." she says as she begins trotting away slowly
  197. "Yeah... hey w-"
  198. >No anon.
  199. >Leave it be.
  200. >This is fine.
  201. >For now
  202. "Sorry about this"
  203. >Yeah...
  204.  
  205. >There's still a sizeable line of mares left
  206. >A few dozen at least
  207. >Just gotta hold out for an hour or so
  208. >You got this, Anon
  209. >You start speed-dating at a pace that had never been seen before
  210. >You lie, tell truths, and keep it all extra juicy
  211. "My penis size? Too big, killed a few with it on occasion"
  212. >Next mare
  213. "Sorry it's too small, not even magic could fix it"
  214. >Next
  215. "I killed a filly once. I'd do it again too. I've also considered killing an adult pony next"
  216. >Next
  217. "I hate ziggers"
  218. >Next
  219. >So on and so forth
  220. >Many mares would get to know the many faces of their town's own bipedal monkey thing
  221. >And those same many found any attraction they had dead in the water
  222. >You look back at the crowd
  223. >And see a familiar orange horse leaving the line along with 4 other familiar looking ponies
  224. >Applejack told them the new rule, huh?
  225. >Anon, you literally cannot stop winning
  226. >You keep up the lies, the jests, the threats, the insults towards pinkies and marekind alike
  227. >And finally you find yourself at the end of the line
  228. >One last pony
  229. >This one...
  230. >Appears to be bipedal?
  231. >It's also sporting a trench coat and a fedora
  232. >Detective?
  233.  
  234. >The creature struggles to walk up to you
  235. >"Howdy pardner! Nice to meet ya!" The thing says in a high pitched voice
  236. "Uh, hi"
  237. >The pony awkwardly extends a hoof toward you
  238. >You grab it and shake it
  239. "Yeahhhh. So are you like a detective? Or something?"
  240. >"Oh uh... yeah! I'm Apple-"
  241. >Before she can finish, her torso thrashes
  242. >"OUCH! Um I'm... Apple-Loo-tie?"
  243. "Nice to meet you"
  244. >Silence
  245. >You hear noises coming from her chest
  246. >"Uh huh yeah! So uh... what here is all this?"
  247. "Pinkie's tryna get me to fuck a horse yadda yadda. The usual, probably."
  248. >"Wait WHAT?!" You hear three voices yell at once
  249. "Yeah. That was my reaction t-"
  250. >Suddenly the pony collapses
  251. >Three small fillies emerge from the fallen trench coat
  252. >"EWWW!" they all scream at once
  253. >"Y'ALL TOLD US IT'D BE COOL!" one says
  254. >"What?! I thought the sign meant we could use him to get our Cutie Marks" another explains
  255. >"You know Scootaloo, the sign also did have a WINKING face on it!" the third mentions
  256. >"Huh. I probably shouldve asked before we waited in line all day" the second one ponders
  257. >"YA THINK!?" The other two shout
  258. >They begin to walk away
  259. >"Ha! Maybe we can get a Cutie Mark for waiting in lines all day"
  260. >"Scootaloo!" The two yell again
  261.  
  262. >You look back at Pinkie
  263. >Both of you are equally confused
  264. >But that was nothing compared to the absolute annoyance Pinkie has brought to you all day
  265. >You charge up to Pinkie
  266. "No special somepony, see?"
  267. >Pinkie giggles
  268. >"Ya think? Reading some of these has me in stitches!"
  269. >She grabs some notecards from a huge pile
  270. >Her face droops a little
  271. >"Some have me... slightly worried"
  272. "What do you mean?"
  273. >Pinkie Pie snickers
  274. >"I'm reading what most of the ponies have to say about you! A-duh!"
  275. "Huh?"
  276. >"Don't you know anything about business anon?! You always have to ask your wonderful customers for their hearty advice, chilling criticisms, and uh... well... not so uncommon insults"
  277. "When did you get these?"
  278. >"Well, I handed out little slips to get feedback from everypony after they talked to you! Lotsa them didnt want to write one! And so I was thinking 'Wow! Anon sure is a heartbre-"
  279. >Oh shit
  280. "What do they say?"
  281. >"Well, I'm not sure what you told them, but WOW! A lot of them really do not like you!"
  282. >Nice
  283. >"A lot of them also told me you REALLY do not like me!"
  284. >Nice
  285. "Anything else?"
  286. >"Well one specifically writes 'He was a charmer, then he opened his mouth!'"
  287. "I thought Ponies weren't supposed to be rude?"
  288. >"It's written as a joke, so it doesnt count!" Pinkie smiles with a squee
  289. >"BUT! There sure are a lot of complaints about you complaining about me!"
  290. "Were they at least written like jokes?"
  291. >Pinkie sighs and looks down
  292. >"Some of them"
  293.  
  294. "Ah, so there isn't a problem then"
  295. >"Nonononononono Anon! This is a super huge mega problem!"
  296. "How?"
  297. >"How are WE supposed to feel good when I know you dont like me?! Or Celestia forbid: you dont like the other pony!"
  298. "Your nightmares are becoming truer and truer by the minute"
  299. >Pinkie Pie gasps
  300. >"Is this because I was setting up innocent cute looking ponies up for failiure because you really arent interested in ponies!?!?" She asks
  301. "N- wait yeah. How'd you guess both things right?"
  302. >Pinkie gives you a thousand yard stare
  303. >"I felt it in my bones..."
  304. >Her face perks up again
  305. >"Also because that's what pretty much everypony wrote!"
  306. >Stupid snitch ponies
  307. "Uhhhh... ok and?"
  308. >"And this simply CANNOT, WILL NOT, SHANT NOT BE!" Pinkie dramatically exclaims
  309. "You can't make me like horse poon, nor can you change my mind about you and your friends"
  310. >"Maybe so... BUT, I'll give it a PINKIE PIE TRY before I give up"
  311. "Why?"
  312. >"Pfft! If one pon-er, person! Is unhappy, then I'm unhappy!" She smiles
  313. "You must be very unhappy right about now then"
  314. >"You have NNNO IDEA!" Pinkie jokingly roars
  315. "Wanna make me really happy?"
  316. >Pinkie looks intently
  317. "Do ya?"
  318. >"Yes!" Pinkie squeaks
  319. "Then take a hint and leave me the fuck alone"
  320. >"But-"
  321. "No buts. I spent all day playing your sick rape by proxy dating game, and I want out"
  322.  
  323. >You begin walking back to your house
  324. >"But the 'game' is already over!" Pinkie yells
  325. "Thank fuck and good riddance"
  326. >You walk into your house and slam the door behind you
  327. >"So what now?" Pinkie asks, appearing in front of you
  328. >When did she get inside?
  329. "Huh?"
  330. >"What now?"
  331. "How'd you get in here?"
  332. >"It's rude to answer a question with another question you know!" Pinkie jokingly says
  333. "Yadda yadda it's also rude to break into people's houses baba booey"
  334. >"Baba booey? I like the sound of that!" Pinkie exclaims
  335. "I've had this conversation too many times. Pinkie, please just leave me alone"
  336. >"But-" Pinkie starts
  337. "Look, I don't want to fuck ponies, ok? Just not my thing. I know you just wanna get off and whatnot, but why me? Why do you want ME of all people to fuck a horse?"
  338. >"I've done this with everypony in town! I'm simply taking this opportunity to properly welcome you!" Pinkie explains
  339. "Everyone, huh? And i'm sure it goes smoothly every time"
  340. >Pinkie thinks
  341. >"Well it works most of the time" Pinkie says, hoof on chin
  342. "And when it doesn't?"
  343. >"Oh... well usually it doesnt work because the pony in question just wants to be friends! In that case I throw them a huuuuuge welcoming party instead!" Pinkie elaborates further
  344. "Uh-huh. Is that so?"
  345. >You walk past Pinkie and take a seat on your sofa
  346. "So, Ponies will willingly hook up with a stranger and let you watch, or they'll just get a NORMAL welcoming party?"
  347. >"Mmmmhhmmmm" Pinkie nods
  348. "Then why not do the NORMAL thing first?"
  349. >"Uhh... plot reasons?" Pinkie answers
  350. "What?"
  351. >"Nothing! Shh!" Pinkie jumps at you and puts a hoof over your mouth
  352. >She looks side to side for anyone that may be listening
  353. >"Truth be told, I didn't want to say anything because I thought it'd be rude" Pinkie whispers
  354. >"BUT! I know you're a virgin" She giggles
  355.  
  356. "Yeah. And?"
  357. >That hurt
  358. >"Did I hit a nerve? I'm super duper sorry! It's just you know-" Pinkie says as she moves to a much less invasive distance
  359. "No. What is hitting a nerve is how you're STILL insisting I fuck a horse"
  360. >"I'm not insisting anything! I just think maybe you'd be happy to get rid of the old thing" Pinkie giggles
  361. "How'd you know I was a virgin anyway"
  362. >"I didn't" Pinkie smiles
  363. >God damnit
  364. >Outplayed by a damn cotton candy horse
  365. "Whatever.
  366. >"Hmmm.... Okie Dokie Loki. So no specialpony, right? How about a party? Huh? Huh?" Pinkie asks
  367. "I dont do parties"
  368. >"Awwww c'm- NO Pinkie you got this!" Pinkie looks away then back at you
  369. >She exhales sharply
  370. >"So no special somepony, no party. Got it? Got it! So... would you like a treat? A cake, a pie, a cookie, cotton candy, a churro, a good old fashion Pinkie Pie sweet?!" Pinkie loudly inhales
  371. "Will it be drugged?"
  372. >"No, silly!"
  373. "Is it free?"
  374. >"Hmm... I might have to get back to you on that"
  375. "Is it normally expens-"
  376. >"JUST KIDDING! Of course its free! Anything for a friend" Pinkie runs up to you and gives you a tight hug
  377. >She's really squeezing the life out of you
  378. >With whatever air is left in your lungs, you beg for your life
  379. "Ok... please let me go..."
  380. >Air enters your lungs and Pinkie unhugs you
  381. >You inhale deeply
  382. "If I accept it will you leave me alone?"
  383. >"If it makes you happy, OF COURSE!" Pinkie exclaims
  384. >Well, it's good to know that at least one of them is reasonable
  385. >So far, anyway
  386.  
  387. "Fine, I'll take a cake. NO PARTY though, am I clear?"
  388. >"Pffft! Duh! Anything for a friend! But a whole cake? For yourself?"
  389. "I'm a big guy"
  390. >"I dont know... well, if you dont finish it, can I invite some friends to give the rest to?"
  391. >You think for a moment
  392. "Which friends?"
  393. >"You know, Applejack, Twi-"
  394. "No."
  395. >"Sheesh! Aren't you a downer wowner!"
  396. "Same as earlier, no elements, and you dont get to bring friends, at all"
  397. >Pinkie sighs
  398. >"Okie dokie... well maybe we can share if that's the case" Pinkie tries to find light in the darkness
  399. "Sure, after I'm done eating"
  400. >"Alright"
  401. "Yeah"
  402. >You hop off the couch and strike a dramatic pose
  403. "Lead the way cuck horse!"
  404. >"Okay!" Pinkie exclaims, matching your pose
  405. >Pinkie walks toward the door and you follow closely behind her
  406. >Right as Pinkie reaches the door she stops and turns around
  407. >"What's a cuck horse?" She asks
  408. "A nickname?"
  409. >"I like it!" She giggles
  410. "Knew you would. Come on! We got to hurry up before the uh... the flour goes bad?"
  411. >"Agreed! Follow me cuck hyooman!" Pinkie skips out the door and onto the earth outside
  412. >Yes, foolish pony, march!
  413. >Feed me so I can retreat once again into my fortress and sleep peacefully with a full stomach!
  414. >"Will do!" Pinkie says out loud
  415. >What?
  416. "Who are you talking to?"
  417. >"You, silly!"
  418. "Oh...?"
  419. >Weird
  420. >You start following closely behind Pinkie
  421. >And you cant help but stare a little
  422.  
  423. >The way ponies walk is kinda weird
  424. >Being a biped and all it feels normal to see yourself walk
  425. >But Ponies look like they're doing sick tricks keeping all four feet in sync
  426. >It's intriguing to say the least
  427. >Suddenly you notice Pinkie's walk change
  428. >Her pony hips were definitely NOT swaying that much before
  429. >Right?
  430. >You hear Pinkie stifle a laugh
  431. >What's so funny?
  432. >She stifles another laugh
  433. >And you see her actively bouncing her rump up and down as she walks
  434. >This pony... is weird.
  435. >After several walking changes
  436. >Including rolling around like sonic
  437. >And walking on two feet
  438. >You both made it to Sugarcube Corner
  439. >You follow pinkie up to the door
  440. >She stops and turns around and puts a hoof on your chest
  441. >"What you see today in here might change your life. You will see things you never ever thought were POSSIBLE." Pinkie gets serious
  442. >Weird
  443. "Will I TASTE things I never thought possible? In a good way?"
  444. >"Pfft! Of course silly!" She goes back to normal
  445. >"Just... watch yourself" She looks left and right with suspicion
  446. >"Also, can you not stare at my butt so much? I can hear you, you know"
  447. >Wait what?
  448. "Not only was I not looking at it, but I wasnt even ta- wait how did you- HEAR? With your ears???"
  449. >Pinkie Pie ignores you and opens the door to the palace of sweets
  450. >Whatever man
  451. >"Welcome... to Sugarcube Corner" Pinkie Pie giggles
  452. >You look around for a moment
  453. >And suddenly Pinkie Pie's gone
  454. >Actually, she's standing behind the counter
  455. >"Good Evening Sir! What would you like to order on this amazing day!?" Pinkie asks you
  456. >She has a little baker's hat on
  457. "When'd you get there?"
  458. >"Sir, I have no idea what you're talking about!" She smiles
  459. >Weirdo
  460. "What's on the menu for tonight then?"
  461. >"For you sir, anything" she beams at you
  462. "Lovely... but what does 'anything' consist of?"
  463. >Pinkie takes a deep breath
  464. >Oh no
  465.  
  466. >"Ok so there's Piesandcakesandcupcakesandcheesecakeandbrowniesandchocolateandicecreamandpastriesofallsortsandbreadsand-" You cut in
  467. "Look. Just give me a cupcake and I'll be on my way. Sound good?"
  468. >Pinkie nods
  469. >"What'll it be? Vanilla? Chocolate? Banana? Strawberry? Pear?!"
  470. "Hmm... I guess a choccy sounds good right about now"
  471. >"Chocolate coming right up!" Pinkie says
  472. >She turns to her right and starts acting like she's walking down a flight of stairs
  473. >She slowly descends lower and lower behind the counter
  474. >Right as her head falls behind the counter she raises her hat playfully and sinks, hat and all, in one clean motion
  475. "I dont have time for this"
  476. >You start to leer over the counter
  477. "I just wanna get in and ou-"
  478. >She's gone
  479. >What the fuck?
  480. >You stand back up and start looking around
  481. >Where did she go?
  482. >Do you wait here?
  483. >Do other ponies really deal with this shit?
  484. >You look and see a small door leading to the kitchen
  485. >Oh
  486. >That makes a lot of sense
  487. >You lean over the counter to get a little view of what is going on beyond those little saloon doors
  488. >You don't see much, but you see a Pink figure with a chef's hat
  489. >You also hear singing and eggs cracking and things being mixed together
  490. >Cool. Free food
  491. >But you can't help but think she's going to do something to it
  492. >There's gotta be a reason why nobody is ever mad at Pinkie in the end
  493. >Right?
  494. >Maybe its gotta do with those parties, or the sweets
  495. >Only one way to find out
  496.  
  497. >You quietly stop leaning over the counter
  498. >And softly step from the counter to the door
  499. >The door really doesn't cover much, so you quickly slide through it silently
  500. >You hear the singing and machine whirring grow greater
  501. >"Ooh I'm bakin a cupcake for Anon! Makin a cupcake for Anon! Gonna make it great! Because this is for Anon!"
  502. >Focused on the food? Good
  503. >You swiftly slide to and lower yourself behind the kitchen counter
  504. >You make sure to sit where Pinkie can't see you at all
  505. >No shadow, no top of head, no legs to be seen
  506. >But it's kinda hard to see the baking process this way
  507. >Hmm...
  508. >"What are we thinking about?" Pinkie asks, now next to you
  509. >You sigh without even needing to turn to your side
  510. "Not sure what I expected to happen, really"
  511. >"Wanna watch? Me bake, I mean." She giggles
  512. "Sure."
  513. >"Alright! Well... you just missed it!" She exclaims
  514. "Well isnt that nice?"
  515. >"Mhm! Turns out, it's actually easier to make a whole dozen choclate cupcakes than it is to make one super huge yummy one" She smiles
  516. "Yeah, but... why exactly would I need a whole dozen for myself?"
  517. >You look towards Pinkie
  518. >Pinkie puts her hoof to her chin
  519. >"Hmm... well, maybe once you try one..." she cracks an ever-growing smile
  520. >"...You'll say 'Oh sweet Celestia these are so good and yummy I want to share them with all of Equestria!' And then you'll make lots of friends and-"
  521. >You decide to cut in
  522. "What if I dont?"
  523. >Pinkie sighs
  524. >"Well, we agreed to share them if you didn't finish, remember?"
  525. "Right... so uh... what now?"
  526. >"Hm?" Pinkie inquires
  527. "Well yeah, so we just wait for them to bake?"
  528. >"Mhm" Pinkie nods
  529. "Oh... are they-"
  530. >"No Anon, they are not drugged." Pinkie says flatly
  531.  
  532. >"You know Anon, you should really learn to trust some-ponies." She tells you
  533. >"Not all of them are after your precious virgin seed!" She jokes
  534. "You say that as if you didn't try to take mine by proxy"
  535. >"You are a silly filly, you know that?" Pinkie says a little irritated
  536. "I still dont get why you wasted both your own and my time doing that, fully knowing I'm not attracted to ponies"
  537. >"I dunno, maybe a super cute one woulda changed your mind?"
  538. "Not really."
  539. >Pinkie sighs and looks down
  540. >"Well, at least you and Vinyl got along well"
  541. >Pinkie pulls a card from her mane and motions for you to grab it
  542. >You take it from her and read it out loud
  543. "Haven't felt that giddy since my first gig. What a stallion! XOXO - PON3"
  544. >On the little note card you notice some... red lipstick marks?
  545. >Is she autistic?
  546. >You give the card back to Pinkie
  547. "We get along about as well as you and I get along"
  548. >"That's a LOT! I'm sure she'd be flattered to hear that!" Pinkie beams
  549. "You and I dont get along."
  550. >"YOU don't get along with ME. I get along with you juuuust fine" Pinkie puts the card back in her mane
  551. >"Plus, WE get along more than you think! I mean, you took me up on my offer, and here we are talking!" Pinkie exclaims
  552. >You blush a little
  553. >Not a "This is adorable" blush
  554. >No.
  555. >This is a "wait, is this a trap?" blush
  556. "And just like that, I think we're done talking."
  557. >Pinkie Pie droops a little
  558. >An awkward silence follows
  559. >Pinkie Pie sighs
  560. >Then she sighs again
  561. >Then another, even bigger sigh
  562. >"You're such a downer wowner filly frowner!" Pinkie roars
  563. >"IJustWantedYouToHaveAGoodDayAndMingleAndTalkToOthersAndWhenThatDidntWorkIInvitedYouHereToMaybeMingleAtYourOwnPaceButNooooYou-"
  564. >Your face contorts in fear
  565. >A loud ding rings out
  566. >"Ooh! The cupcakes are done!" Pinkie hops up and walks away as happy as she was before
  567. >What the hell
  568.  
  569. >You finally stand up and watch as Pinkie takes the treats out of the oven
  570. >A sweet aroma fills the room
  571. >You can't help but feel a little excitement rest on top of your worry
  572. >Free cupcakes
  573. >And they're fresh too?
  574. >Steal of the century
  575. >But at the cost of one angry Pinkie it seems like
  576. >Pinkie sets the tray full of cupcakes on top of the stove
  577. >"They're really hot" Pinkie turns to warn you
  578. "I know. I'm hungry for sweets, not retarded"
  579. >"Yeah yeah... look..." Pinkie gets serious for a moment
  580. >You focus on Pinkie from your side of the kitchen counter
  581. >"I'm not your enemy, Anon. I don't think anypony is. I just wanted you to get to know other ponies, and maybe even get you with somepony. I stopped forcing anything on you after you talked to just about every mare in Ponyville." Pinkie info dumps
  582. >You just stare at her
  583. >What the hell happened to Pinkie?
  584. >"I know Twi and the others see you as a piece of meat, but I know deep down you're just like any other pony... I might have come on a... tiny bit too strong at first, but know that I meant good by everything I did."
  585. >Is she serious?
  586. "BAHAHAHAHA! LIKE WHEN YOU TRIED TO GET ME TO HAVE SEX WITH ANOTHER HORSE SO YOU COULD GET OFF?"
  587. >You would be so angry if this situation wasn't so unbearably ridiculous
  588. >Pinkie blushes
  589. >"I did that with everypony! Plus you got to actually socialize and meet some new ponies!"
  590. "Yeah, most of which I immediately broke the hearts of"
  591. >"Cadence helps them out eventually, so I wouldnt worry about them so much."
  592. >She is dead serious
  593. "Even that sad teacher? Cherilee?"
  594. >Pinkie Pie suddenly gets this nervous look on her face
  595. >If she had a collar she'd be tugging it right about now
  596. "Whaaaatever"
  597. >You grab a hot cupcake
  598. >They're hot on your hand, but not painfully so
  599. >You bring it up to your mouth and take a bite of hot, rich chocolatey goodness
  600. >You close your eyes as a smile permeates your face
  601. >Suddenly the mood of the room sets in again
  602. >Oh yeah, you're not exactly in a good spot
  603.  
  604. >You look down at Pinkie
  605. >When did she get so...
  606. >Sad?
  607. "Im tryna eat. Stop that"
  608. >"Stop what?" Pinkie's drooping face says
  609. "Being sad. Eat a cupcake or something"
  610. >Pinkie sighs
  611. "Seriously man, you're killing the cupcake eating feel that should be goin on right about now"
  612. >Silence
  613. "Look. I'm sorry, ok? Is that what you want to hear?"
  614. >Pinkie's face perks up a little
  615. >"A little" she smiles through some forming tears
  616. >Aw jeez
  617. >This little interaction is starting to warm your cold, dead heart
  618. "Why are you crying?"
  619. >"Well because you know ItWouldJustBeTheWorstIfYouHatedMeBecauseITriedToGetYouToSleepWith-"
  620. "Understood. Well, I dont hate you. In fact, I barely know you."
  621. >Pinkie wipes some tears away
  622. >"Yeah, well, we DID spend the entire day apart" she snickers
  623. "That was all you, Pink horse. Plus, we are kinda making up for lost time here"
  624. >"True" she says, thinking
  625. >You inhale deeply
  626. >It's been a while since you've just talked to someone
  627. >Even moreso when you've actually agreed to it
  628. >Damn, she's good
  629. >But you're better
  630. "Hey! Wait! I guess we're going to end up friends because of your gypsy charms, but I gotta make it clear right out of the gate"
  631. >Pinkie looks at you with a sharp focus
  632. "No more sex stuff. I'm not down to fuck horses, nor will I ever be."
  633. >Pinkie pie exhales sharply
  634. >"If it means we can be friends... OF COURSE!"
  635. >She grabs your hand and shakes your entire body
  636. >How does she keep getting away with this?
  637.  
  638. "UhHuHuHhUh"
  639. >You desperately rip your hand out of her hooves of steel
  640. "Yeah. Now let me enjoy these things"
  641. >You motion to the pan full of at least a dozen choclatey cupcakes
  642. >Pinkie scoffs
  643. >"Pfft! Without me?"
  644. >You grab another with your free hand and offer it to her
  645. "I mean, I'd like to have some for myself, too you know"
  646. >You both laugh
  647. >She takes the untouched cupcake from your hand
  648. >"I can always make more, free of charge for my friend!" She tells you
  649. "Yeah... I guess that's true now"
  650. >You take another bite from the once bitten cupcake
  651. >Man, you could get used to this friendship
  652. >Though, you'd need a gym membership if it was going to be like this all of the time
  653. >You spend the rest of your time at sugarcube corner eating cupcakes and talking with pinkie pie
  654. >She tells you about what the girls say about you
  655. >The things they say are... odd, to say the least
  656. >Especially Twilight
  657. >Shivers run down your spine
  658. >She acts normal to everyone but you
  659. >You're almost afraid to find out why
  660. >However, that's a worry that will have to be put aside until another day
  661. >You and Pinkie exchange farewells
  662. >"Want an extra dozen for the trip home?"
  663. "Oh no thanks. I am stuffed. I dont think I could take another bi-"
  664. >Suddenly she places a large box in your hands
  665. >You open it up to look at the goods
  666. >There's a cupcake inside of it
  667. >In frosting it reads "Sorry for trying to make you have sex with ponies" with a sad face directly below the text
  668. >It's a really, really large cupcake
  669.  
  670. >"It's on the house, friend!" Pinkie Pie says triumphantly
  671. "Uh, thanks. See you later, Pink"
  672. >"Yes! Until next time! It might be sooner than you think!" Pinkie winks
  673. "Maybe."
  674. >You turn around and start heading home
  675. >The walk was uneventful, but you had the feeling that you were watched
  676. >Lately, that's been the norm, though
  677. >You walk into your home and head for your bed
  678. >You sit the cupcake, still in its box, on your nightstand
  679. >And you fall asleep soundly, similarly to the night before
  680. >The End

Anon and Trixie's Odd Half-Day

by I_Luv_P0nes

The Rapening: Day 0

by I_Luv_P0nes

The Rapening: Day 1

by I_Luv_P0nes

The Rapening: Day 2

by I_Luv_P0nes

The Rapening: Day 3

by I_Luv_P0nes